♪ I'm not waiting for you to arrive ♪
♪ Feels like Most of the time, we are dying... ♪
- Bye, Nellie. I love you.
♪ So I stare directly ♪
- ♪ Into the sun... ♪
♪ It burns for a while ♪
♪ But nothing's worth more Than our love... ♪
Hey, Nick. Look who it is.
- Where you been, man? I've missed you. - I missed you too. Missed you too.
Where've you been?
♪ Touch me to make it work ♪
♪ You level my head, you're a natural... ♪
Tara. Congrats on your amazing GCSE results.
Thanks, miss.
You should think about applying to be a prefect. You've got a real shot at it.
Yeah.
Hey!
Hmm. Since when did our dress code include trousers?
Well, the sixth-form boys get to wear trousers, so why can't I?
You look so... you.
♪ In no life, I'd want that So, no, I'm just lying... ♪
We're all back together. - Yay!
♪ But I think I'm just tired Of being in the dark ♪
♪ I swear I'm not like this But it always gets worse in the car park ♪
♪ Call me what you want ♪
♪ But pick the right time... ♪
- Hi! You look so good.
Oh, how are you?
- Good. You? - Amazing.
- You look great. Hey!
- Shall we go? - Yes. How was your summer?
- Really, really good. - Good.
- How was yours? - Good.
- Tell me all about it. Can't wait.
♪ This feels right ♪
♪ To want, to want you all the time ♪
- You better get out first. - Hmm?
The kids won't shut up about it if they find out we're dating.
Oh.
So we're dating?
We've been seeing each other all summer, so I hope we are.
- I'll see you at lunch. - See you at lunch.
You'll have to be sneakier, or the kids will be saying you're engaged by break.
♪ He said, "Come on Oh, what you waiting for?" ♪
♪ I think I waited a lifetime ♪
♪ Right up until that point ♪
- ♪ Hey, right then, all this time... ♪
♪ I feel him stay with me To make it count ♪
♪ Thought I lost the bad feeling A different life or a new ♪
♪ And then and there You'd live forever in my mind... ♪
- Hi. - Hi.
♪ Oh, all my life, all my... ♪
No kiss?
Hug first.
♪ All my life ♪
♪ Oh, all my life ♪
♪ All my life ♪
♪ And so the ghost... ♪
I heard they're going out. Really?
♪ That hidden place where hope lives... ♪
Come on.
♪ I just wanna know ♪
♪ Hey, right then, all this time ♪
♪ I feel him stay with me To make it count... ♪
- I missed you.
♪ ...in a different life or a new ♪
♪ And then and there you'd live... ♪
So much.
Yeah, I missed you too.
♪ Oh, my mind ♪
♪ Oh, all my life ♪
♪ All my life ♪
♪ Oh, my, my mind ♪
- ♪ Oh, my mind... ♪
♪ Oh, all my life ♪
♪ All my life ♪
Quiet down, please, boys.
Day one of the school year. Don't start acting up already now.
It's your birthday on Saturday.
- Yeah. - Do you wanna do something?
Uh... I don't know. I don't... I don't normally have a party or anything.
Nick and Charlie.
Gonna keep it down or what?
All right.
Yo, big man, shirt tucked in.
Yeah, this isn't Mr. Ajayi's hippy class.
- You're representing Farouk right now. Sorry, sir.
- I'm gonna organize something. - You don't have to.
No, I want to.
It'll distract me from... you know,
my brain.
Right, um... see you at lunch, then. Picnic benches?
Uh...
I guess, uh, choose a place you both feel safe.
Mention the things that have concerned you.
Let him know you care about him.
Oh, and this is an important one.
Try to avoid making the conversation about food and weight.
It's gonna be okay.
He's fortunate to have you.
Or we could eat in the art room?
Just us.
Yeah. Sounds good.
Look, Elle's posted from Lambert.
Elle's making a new sketchbook.
- You're supposed to-- - Look, Elle with her new friends.
Tao, I love Elle, yeah, but I don't need a minute-by-minute update.
I'm sad. I miss her. Tao, it's been a day.
- I'm so alone. - What are we? Your imaginary friends?
You can't keep making your whole life your relationship.
- Well, Charlie is, so why can't I? - No, I'm not.
Oh yeah? Who are you eating lunch with today? Nick?
- Well, yes, but... Hmm.
You two need to get a life, I swear.
Um, if I just plug this one? Yeah, go on.
Wahey!
♪ We lit a light bulb We lit a light bulb ♪
Uh, Mr. Ajayi.
Do you mind if I eat lunch in here today?
Uh, yeah. Of course. Uh, we were just clearing out. Weren't we?
Yeah. We...
Uh, good summer? I thought you'd be catching up with your friends today.
Yeah, I... I will. I just prefer eating in here.
It's... less stressful.
Oh, right.
My brain isn't good at the moment.
Well, that's okay. We all have bad-brain days.
Yeah.
I...
I have a lot of rules about...
It doesn't matter. It's stupid.
Uh, what happens if you break the rules?
I don't know.
But... it feels like something bad.
I know it's silly.
- No, it-- Hi.
Hey.
Look, uh... no crumbs, you two. Okay?
- What were you just talking about? - Nothing. We were just catching up.
I think he's dating Mr. Farouk. They were sat together when I came in.
There was a weird flirty vibe in Paris.
Char, uh, um... about our phone call...
Can we...
can we not talk about that? I just...
I don't wanna think about it today.
Okay. Yeah.
So then, um... what are we doing for my birthday?
Well, that is a surprise.
I've planned everything, and it is gonna be perfect.
Okay, then.
Was I asleep?
- Yeah, I think you were.
Have you not been sleeping well?
I dunno. I've just got no energy.
Elle's good for Saturday.
Tao, it's supposed to be a surprise.
Elle's coming?
- Is everyone coming?
- You didn't have to organize a huge thing. - I did. I love you.
I love you too.
Wish I had a boyfriend.
James, no.
I need at least one single friend, okay?
This lot have been third-wheeling me at every opportunity.
Don't you wanna be with someone?
Yeah. I... I mean, like, the idea of it's nice, but, um...
Well, it's... it's just not what I actually want, so...
So you're, like, aromantic?
What? You know what that is?
Yeah. I read a book where there was an aromantic character,
and then I thought about what happened with us in Paris and stuff.
Oh, right.
- Third time you've re-wrapped that.
Yeah, well, I'm bad at wrapping, and I want it to look perfect so...
I'm sure he'd love it even if it looked like a used tissue.
You eating lunch there?
Yeah. If they've got stuff I like.
- Happy birthday! - Thank you.
I'm just gonna grab my shirt. I'll be two minutes.
Okay. Well, do I get to know where we're going now?
No.
Oh, um...
- Hey, Tori. - Hi.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
And, um... thanks for the message last week about...
Did you talk to him?
Yeah.
And?
I'm trying to help,
trying to get him to talk to your parents.
Okay.
Well, thank you.
For trying.
Okay. There's a bus in ten minutes. We can make it if we go fast.
- Okay. - Come on.
- Sure you know where we're going? - Yes.
- And you can't tell me anything? - Nope.
Are we at least almost there?
- We are almost there. - Almost there. Okay.
- Sh, guys! I feel like I'm gonna fall over.
Please. This is getting a little bit...
Ta-da!
Surprise!
Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
Aww!
♪ I'm the one ♪
♪ Brave enough ♪
- ♪ To say how I was feeling... ♪
- ♪ I'm the one waiting by the phone... ♪ - There you go.
- ♪ The one who is home alone... ♪ Darcy!
- That was a giant bite. - Shall we feed him?
- ♪ Yeah, you played it like a game... ♪ - Ooh!
Oh my God, look at his eyes. He's so cute. Wait. I need to get a video of this.
He's like a mini Charlie.
Smile.
- He's so cute. - So cute!
- Got white hair like yours.
Seems a bit gay to me.
It really does.
I wanna keep one!
Wait! We should all try and take a selfie!
Yeah. I'll do it. I'll do it.
- Come on, Charlie. Let's-- - Uh, I'll take it.
- What? - I'll take it. It's fine.
Sure? - Yeah.
- Look, I've got it. Smile, everyone. - We can all be in the selfie.
- Smile. Right, everybody smile.
- Now let's be elephants. That's the noise.
- A birthday selfie. Come on. - Okay.
Let's try and get the lemur in it. Hello. Hi.
Happy birthday, Nicholas.
Yeah, we got it. We got it.
Oh!
Are you having a good birthday, then?
The best. Yeah.
Oh, excuse me, ladies. Oh.
Don't you hate when people call you "ladies"?
I dunno. Teachers at school call us it all the time.
Yeah, I've never really thought about it.
Do you really hate it?
Yeah. It's just, like, I'm not a lady. It's weird.
You okay? You seem tired.
Honestly, this week's been a lot.
In a good way? I mean, the pictures from your Instagram look great.
It's been amazing, obviously.
Just... having to make new friends again
and finding my way around a big new school.
It's a lot.
Being with you guys is like being home.
Elle, come and look at this!
Oh no, looks like you're stuck with me again.
What does that even mean?
It's so painful for you to hang out with us and not with your girlfriend.
Why do you have to be so bitter about me and Elle dating?
You've just not been a good friend lately. All you care about is your relationship.
Well, if you're so sad about being single, what happened to James?
Uh-oh.
Okay, what animal would you be?
But you can only choose from ones we've seen today.
I'd be a zebra. They're so cool. I think a rhino.
Hey, shall we... shall we go somewhere quieter?
No, it's fine.
Sorry, I...
I'll be fine. Thank you though.
Oh yeah!
- Guys, this is really uncomfortable. - Well, I'm not apologizing.
- Well, neither am I. - Cool.
Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Right. Come on. I want an ice cream.
Are you okay, Isaac?
Tao and Elle are just in that obsessive phase. It'll pass.
Mm. It's totally normal.
When I dated my first boyfriend, I was obsessed.
Then I was so obsessed with Nick when I liked him, and Ben.
But I got over it all super quickly.
I kind of thought you didn't really like Ben that much.
Maybe. I dunno.
I guess I just liked the idea of having a cool boyfriend,
but when we were actually together, he was pretty boring.
We're supposed to be comforting Isaac right now.
Yeah, none of you are helping, but thanks.
Sorry. - Sorry.
- Yeah. Chips?
Go on, look. You want one with ketchup.
Do I have to?
- Yeah. - Yes, you do!
- In it goes. Little plane!
What you said to Isaac earlier was kind of mean.
He's been, like, so passive-aggressive about us, like, all week.
Well, maybe he has a right to.
Maybe we've been ignoring him and all of our friends.
I guess we have a bit.
But... going from seeing you, like, every single day to not at all,
I've been, like...
You've been, like... moping?
- Yes.
Well, I'm flattered.
But... I know you love Isaac and Charlie just as much as me, Tao.
You just... don't wanna kiss them.
I've been a bad friend too. I barely saw Tara and Darcy all summer.
But friends are important. You know this.
You got angry at Charlie for doing the exact same thing we've been doing.
Hey. Hey.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean what I said.
That's okay.
- I'm sorry too. You're right.
I've been ignoring you guys since me and Elle started going out.
- I've had, like, romance goggles on.
And it's been great, but I've been a bad friend,
so... I'm gonna be a better friend.
I've just felt like a third wheel all summer.
Yeah. That's fair.
And I hate that I feel bitter.
You all make it seem like being in a relationship is
the most perfect, magical thing anyone could ever hope for.
- It does feel pretty magical though. - Yeah.
Yes. It's just really hard when I know that's not what I actually want.
I guess I'm still just coming to terms with that.
- Do you think there are any gay fish?
- Yeah. Definitely. - I think that one's gay.
- Do you think they fall in love? - Aww, I hope so.
What about the ones who don't fall in love with any gender?
Do you think they're okay just being on their own?
I don't think they're on their own. They've got loads of friends.
Yeah. It's just...
What if all of its friends were... were couples
flaunting their magical relationships everywhere they went?
- Uh, me and Sahar aren't a couple. - But who said we were?
I don't think we're talking about fish anymore.
Do you guys get where I'm going with this or not?
Yeah. We do.
I don't really know how to feel okay with it yet, uh, with being asexual.
And aromantic.
It j-- Uh, it changes everything I thought I knew about myself.
And about my life and my future.
I think it's normal to be upset.
When I first realized I liked Charlie, I cried at an "Am I Gay?" quiz.
Aww!
So cute.
It's a process.
And we love you.
I love you too.
Come on. We haven't been to the bug house yet,
and I wanna see some spiders.
Spiders. No, I don't wanna see a spider!
- Spiders. - Spiders? Are you all right?
- What's your favorite kind of spider? My favorite spider?
Are you okay?
Yeah. Sorry, I just needed to sit down.
I feel really tired.
There you go. - Great. Thanks a lot. Cheers.
Is there something wrong with Charlie?
Uh...
No.
You know something, and you're not telling me.
What's up with him?
I don't think I should be talking about this.
So shall I ask Charlie?
No. Please don't do that.
What's going on? He's been acting so--
- Tao. You cannot talk to him about it. - But why?
'Cause he can barely talk to me about it.
Tara, I'm reading. No, stop, no!
Just give me some attention!
Trying to read my book.
- What's this? My book's better!
A thank-you gift for the best birthday ever.
- He reminded me of you. - You are so cringe.
I love you.
Mm.
I love it. It is super cute.
Imogen, that is way too much.
- Shall we, uh, shall we call it a day? Yeah.
Yeah. Can do. I'm tired.
Let's see the llamas. - Yeah?
You stay. - Cool.
Watch David Attenborough? We'll come back.
Okay.
Oh my God!
- Charlie, is this...
Is this every jumper you've ever borrowed?
Well, they don't smell like you anymore, so...
They don't smell like me?
Are you saying you like my smell?
'Cause I kinda like your smell.
- Okay. Oh!
- You like my smell? - Nick!
- Do you now? You like my smell? - Don't make it weird.
- What about my smell do you like? - Stop it.
What is it?
Okay.
Well...
- You have to keep one.
It's only fair.
- Do you like when I wear your clothes? - Yeah.
There's, uh, an actual present at the bottom of the bag.
Another one? I didn't... didn't see that.
Wow, that's so cool.
Oh wow, it's
wrapped very neatly.
I know it's cheesy, but the rest of it's blank so...
You like it, then?
I love you.
You told me to wake you up at nine.
Is it already?
I don't wanna go home. - Mm.
You're so sleepy though.
And you were really tired all day.
I should go home.
Charlie.
You know I love you.
And... and I'm really glad we talked about... the mental-health stuff.
I'm just still really worried about you.
And it... it's not just the eating thing.
I've noticed you've been
really stressed and... and... and tired.
Sometimes, you just seem really sad.
And I, um...
I know I've made things worse.
You know, I've... I've said the wrong thing, and, um...
I didn't know what to do.
I know... I know you don't want me to try and fix you.
But I love you so much.
And I couldn't help but try.
I realize now that I just can't.
I really want you to talk to someone.
Your parents or a doctor or something like that.
I'm sorry.
I know it's hard. I know it's hard.
Just, um...
I just don't feel like I can ever get any better.
You can. I promise you, you can.
You just... you just have to ask for help.
What if my parents think I'm faking it, or they get angry at me?
Um...
maybe I could come with you.
They're probably less likely to get angry if I'm there.
Also, I read... I read somewhere that...
...it helps to write things down.
- It might sound silly, but...
...maybe that could help you talk to them.
♪ I'm 21 ♪
♪ The edge is razor-thin ♪
♪ Between being numb ♪
♪ And feeling everything... ♪
Mum? Dad?
Yeah, hi. Hey, Charlie, we're in here.
Hey.
Hi, Nick.
Uh...
Charlie, is it a bit late for Nick to be over?
He's not staying long.
Okay.
I needed to talk to you about something.
What's up?
I've...
I've written it down 'cause it's...
it's really hard to say.
Charlie, what... what's going on?
"My mental health has been really bad lately."
"I've been finding eating really difficult."
"I feel like there's a voice in my head that's not me,
telling me bad things will happen if I... if I eat or do things in the wrong way."
"That voice has been getting louder and louder."
"Sometimes, it makes me feel really stressed or tired or angry."
"And I think I've been like this for quite a long time."
"But I didn't want to admit it, and... and now it's gotten way worse."
"So I... I was thinking maybe I could go to the doctors about it."
"Maybe they could help."
I want to get better.
♪ ...pattern I've been taking shelter In reaching new highs ♪
♪ When I was 19 ♪
♪ I wanted to die ♪
♪ Now I just wanna kill you ♪
♪ But I don't want To paint you the victim ♪
♪ But I'm wearing his boxers ♪
♪ I'm being a good wife ♪
♪ We won't be together ♪
♪ But maybe the next life ♪
♪ I need him like water ♪
♪ He thinks that I'm all right ♪
♪ I'm not feeling human ♪
♪ I think he's a good guy ♪
♪ But it's complex ♪
♪ It's a complex ♪