365,000 fans heading for Britain's biggest-ever pop concert.
The reason? This man was going to entertain them.
No doubt who the biggest name in British music is this weekend.
It is his weekend.
Robbie Williams is playing three nights at Knebworth back to back.
Robbie-mania has taken hold.
But if you're not a Robbie fan, just stay away.
It was the biggest experience of my life,
doing Knebworth.
Just a blanket people of people en masse.
And it was seismic.
♪ Hell is gone and heaven's here ♪
♪ There's nothin' left for you to fear ♪
♪ Shake your ass, come over here ♪
♪ Now scream ♪
♪ I'm a burnin' effigy Of everythin' I used to be ♪
♪ You're my rock of empathy, my dear ♪
♪ So come on, let me entertain you... ♪
This is the height of my career.
It's all rampin' up to this.
♪ And through it... ♪
♪ All ♪
♪ She offers me protection ♪
♪ A lot of love And affection ♪
♪ Whether I'm right or wro-o-ong ♪
♪ And down the waterfall ♪
♪ Wherever it may take me ♪
♪ I know that life won't break me ♪
♪ When I come to call... ♪
I feel like I am the center of the pop-culture world
at the moment.
♪ I'm lovin' angels instead ♪
Thank you for makin' my dream come true, Knebworth!
Robbie!
There's an awful lot of shit that's written about me,
uh, almost every week.
And, um, I want you to remember something for me.
This is Robbie Williams.
This is what I do for a livin'.
Right here.
I'm a singer. I'm a songwriter.
And I'm a born entertainer.
This is what I do.
Thank you!
I'd just had the biggest experience of my life
doin' Knebworth.
And I think the first line in the NME review was,
"Here it is. Naff Britain in microcosm."
I'm trying to derive self-worth from doing my job,
whilst I'm being told and reading about myself that...
or hearing about myself from radio and TV that I'm
a piece of shit.
♪ I just wanna feel real love ♪
♪ Feel the home that I live in ♪
You know, I believed my press.
Unfortunately, my press was the British press.
♪ I know That life won't break me ♪
♪ When I come to call ♪
♪ She won't forsake me ♪
♪ I'm loving angels instead ♪
Yeah!
Give it up for Teddy!
- We got more cake, guys. - Come 'ere, Ted.
You guys wanna see the cake you made?
I'm late today 'cause I didn't wanna come.
There was, um...
more of me that I didn't wanna face, I think.
Can you tell me what lies ahead of you?
I'm about to watch somebody
having a nervous
mental breakdown.
- You rollin'? - Uh, yes, we are.
Hello and you're welc... and you're welcome.
Hiya. I'm Robbie Williams, and, uh, this is my studio,
where we've been recording an album whose working title is Intensive Care.
With Guy, I wasn't master of my own ship musically.
This is Stephen.
He's a pseudo-intellectual Noddy Holder.
But Stephen's a musical mentor
that's allowing me to find whatever it is completely that's inside of me.
♪ I know it's comin' There's gonna be violence... ♪
It did feel new, and it did feel liberating.
♪ ...as much as I'm willing to take ♪
Yeah, I was tryin' to find a different way to
do it all again.
The new stuff that I've got comin' out is very different and...
It's gonna sound really disrespectful to the people I worked with before,
but it actually feels...
- It feels better? - It feels like my first solo record.
With Intensive Care, I decide to do a tour.
And the tour that I'm doing is off-the-charts massive.
You filmin'?
Wow.
Close Encounters, innit?
That's what we're callin' the tour.
What are your first impressions?
Uh, well, I used to do a good one of Margaret Thatcher when I was a kid.
And then Frank Spencer, obviously, but they're all the classics.
Boom-boom!
Looks amazin', dunnit? Looks like my very own spaceship.
- I'll get rid of it, all right. - All right, lads?
- How solid are they? - Very solid.
Well, I can fuckin' stand on 'em, and I'm a fat cunt.
- Right. That's that one loosened. - That's that one...
Off the top of your head, old ones, "Let Me Entertain You",
"Angels..." Stephen?
Knebworth is the most famous and most celebrated moment
of my professional life, but this tour was bigger than that.
- "Feel." - "Feel." Of course.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I had 93 trucks for this.
Ninety-three trucks for my stage.
And at the time, I was like... "I've got 93 trucks."
It's the zenith of my success,
that tour.
I had my own jet with my own "RW" symbol on the back.
Some housewares there.
Oh! Ah!
Made some sandwiches as well.
This is Elton John's plane, isn't it? I know, yeah.
Fuckin' ell.
Happy with it?
I'm still giggly.
Oh yeah!
Wait till you see this.
Jonny is my best friend.
He's a movin', walkin', talkin' part of Stoke-on-Trent
that came with me everywhere,
that made me laugh and made me feel safe and made me feel
that the part of me that existed before I joined Take That was still there.
- Thank you. - Well done, youth.
- Thank you. - Well done. Well done, Jose.
- Wow! - Isn't it great?
- A bit amazin', innit? - This is a bit amazin'.
It's so good. He's mega rich.
The thing is, with tourin',
people think that you get to Rome,
have your picture taken on the Spanish Steps,
or go to the Louvre.
Like, no.
It's not what you would imagine it to be.
There's no normality.
It's weird when little ol' Rob gets up in front of all these people,
and they just adore 'im.
- It's quite mad. Yeah. But... - It's his job.
It's his job, and, um, he's the best at it.
This is what David needs to get through the show.
- This is Rob's manager. - He's already had four.
Where he gets his addictions from, I'll never know.
I had a great support system around me.
I'd got David, my manager,
and I'd got Josie,
and I'd got me mate, Jonny.
Good and honest people.
Honest as much as they could be.
There is still a relationship where I'm the boss.
- You ready, Rob? - Nah.
I really wish I did somethin' else for a livin'.
- Uh... - Right, he's ready!
Think this is the most nervous I've ever been.
- Is this the most nervous I've ever been? - Absolutely.
- Okay. - I like it.
It's good.
Is this the most handsome I've ever been?
Youth?
Yeah.
Hey! Two lads from Stoke-on-Trent.
Who'd 'ave thunk?
Let's get the gig out the fucking way
and get on a really nice plane and go 'ome.
- What d'ya think about that? - Yes!
Let's do this. Let's go and fucking give 'em a good show.
Elvis, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
- Uh-huh. - The courage to change the things I can.
- And the wisdom to know the difference. - Thank you very much!
Right, gang!
This is not a drill.
Open for mission, please.
Robbie! Robbie!
Have you seen the size of this place?
Why couldn't we have just done the village hall or something
to start the fuckin' tour off?
You're lookin' beautiful tonight, Dublin!
How many people can do that in the world? Right, go onstage in a stadium
and have 80,000 people just go,
"You're ace!"
You know, that's... that is... unnatural.
You've gotta... The reaction to that's gotta be...
That... That's why so many fuckin' famous people are mad.
Where are you all from? Holland?
- Holland! - Robbie!
- Yeah, hello! - We've, um...
We've done a new song.
There's a new album comin' out very soon. And, um...
we're rehearsing this for the very first time,
so nobody's heard this song yet.
Not even I. I wrote it. That's weird.
Um, it's a song called "Rudebox," and I think
it's gonna be my biggest song.
You might not get it on the first listen.
But believe me. I reckon it's gonna be my biggest song, don't you, Dave?
- Yeah. - Bigger than "Angels."
Yeah? Bigger than "Angels."
At the same time as the Close Encounters tour,
I was doin' another album.
Seeing where this Guy Chamber-less ship could sail.
Anyway, this is called "Rudebox," and I hope you like it.
With Intensive Care,
I'd been allowed to do what I deemed to be interesting.
And then, because of that, I got excited and went to another place.
♪ Okay then, back to basics ♪
♪ Grab your shell toes And your fat laces ♪
♪ A little hand clap for some funk faces ♪
♪ Make your body move In the following place, it goes... ♪
♪ Up your back and then down your spine ♪
♪ And when it hits your head... ♪
I'm making music with my mates from Stoke-on-Trent,
and there's a kinship.
It was everythin' 13-year-old me would've wanted to make.
Boom-bap beats and a bit of rappin'.
♪ Sing a song o' Semtex ♪
♪ Pocket full of Durex ♪
♪ Body full of Mandrax Are we gonna have sex... ♪
I loved doing the Rudebox album.
It was such a joy to make,
and it felt like it was me me.
And I just presumed that because I was lovin' it,
there would be an audience that loves it too.
- You really believed in it. - Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I really believed in it. Yeah.
How you feelin' today?
Really good, actually.
Um...
We did a great gig last night.
Went back to the hotel.
Uh, got an early night.
But didn't sleep much 'cause I kept wakin' up every hour.
Tried a bit of three-on-three football with the lads, which was good.
I thought I was gonna be knackered after that.
But, uh, I must be gettin' fit.
- Can I try that on? - Yeah.
So I think I'm in gig-shape now.
- How long is the tour? - Long time.
We don't think about that.
- A day at a time. - A day at a time. A show at a time.
If you think about the end of the tour, you never get there...
Breathe in.
...Charlie Lightening.
Is that a s... No, no. Is that a wise man speaking?
No, no, it's true. It's the truth.
If you start thinking about the end of it, you'll never get through it.
If he's just thinking, "I'll just enjoy each day as it comes," it works.
- You get into a routine. - Except when I'm wrong.
- Seriously. - I believe you.
I did, didn't I?
- It's good to know. - Hm.
It feels like, outside of the UK,
I'm allowed to be a pop star.
I'm allowed to inhabit
some form of greatness, I suppose.
Oh, fuckin' phenomenal.
Whereas, in the UK,
it was a very different story with a different energy.
Now to Robbie Williams. Sophie?
I mean, he's like... to me, I just think he's...
It hasn't got any charm about it whatsoever.
The way people embrace him, I find it baffling.
- It just makes me sad, really. - His voice is not fantastic.
- You can't say he's got a brilliant voice. - It's horrible.
It's fairly thin and fairly hard.
Last week, I wanted to berate you , the Great British public,
for voting "Angels" the best single of the last 25 years.
I've done a quick list of other songs that maybe should've been considered.
Uh, number one, every single other song recorded in the last 25 years...
...including karaoke versions of "Angels."
It felt like, every day,
I would read in print what an abhorrent person I was.
The leading protagonists in that particular problem for me
were the Star, the Mirror,
and the biggest one, The Sun ,
where Victoria Newton had the Bizarre column,
which was hugely influential.
She fuckin' hates me, Victoria Newton.
- She finds the worst pictures of me... - Yep.
"We'll put that one in. He looks horrendous."
I reckon she secretly loves you.
- Absolutely. She does. - I like her.
'Ey, listen, I'm not sayin' I dislike her.
- I'm just sayin'... - I like you, Victoria.
Jonny likes you. 'Cause he has to.
Jonny likes you 'cause you've got some kinda hold over these celebrities,
but with me... I'm just about to go on stage in front of 75,000 people
in a country that isn't England.
I've just been, right, to Dresden, did two nights on the trot.
Sixty thousand. Coulda sold out four nights.
I was in Amsterdam. I did the "X," uh... Stadium.
Seventy thousand people there. I did four nights. I coulda done eight.
If I did another tour now, I'd sell another 2.5 million tickets.
You can't do anything about it. Fifty million albums sold.
I like her though. She's never done anything wrong to me.
It feels like the industry is ready to pounce
on any wrong move.
Releasing "Rudebox" as the first single,
which was so different to anything that I'd done before,
now was the chance.
The Sun's decided to launch a hate fest against me and my song.
You know, "It's the worst single ever written."
"The rapping was shit," and, "It sounds like it's been made on a Casio keyboard,"
and this, that and the other.
- I fuckin' hate cunts. - Do you want anything?
- Forty-five! - Hate cunts. Fuckin' hate 'em.
- What? - Forty-five.
- You're in a good mood, aren't you? - Horrendous mood.
I know. Let it go. Life's good. Why you in a mood?
- Thank you. - Have mercy.
- You haven't been this cross for ages. - No.
You gonna do "Rudebox" tonight?
Might do.
- Might not. - Ready to blow.
Why is this... thing on that area so annoying?
See you in a bit.
Well, this is gonna be a classic.
Tonight, on this very stage,
because you've been so nice to us,
I wanna perform a brand-new song.
It's called "Rudebox."
Are you ready to dance?
♪ Whoa! Whoa! ♪
♪ Whoa! ♪
♪ Whoa! Whoa! ♪
I... I wanna fast-forward this.
Why did you wanna fast-forward that?
Uh...
It's just uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. Whatever.
♪ A-D-I-D-A-S ♪
- ♪ Old school 'cause it's the best ♪ - ♪ Yes ♪
- ♪ TK Maxx costs less ♪ - ♪ Yes ♪
♪ Jackson looks a mess... ♪
It's my... It's my baby.
You know, and I've never been more proud of a song than "Rudebox."
I'm so excited about this album, and I have been for so long.
And, uh... I really feel as though I found meself, and then...
and then, you know, it's just, I sort of read somethin' really cruel
written about it.
I was all right with it for ages,
but then just before I went on stage, it was just like that.
" Why are people so cruel?"
And I just... I think it was less the review, more of a...
"Fuck, no matter what I do, no matter what I write,
no matter how I sing it, no matter what I say,
in my home country,
the press are gonna fuckin' just hate me and hate it."
"No matter how good it is or what it is."
- Straighten that a little bit more. - You what, babe?
I'd say that's fine.
What have you done to your knee?
Um...
Become 32.
That's what I've done to my knee.
I think it's wear and tear from the Take That days.
We used to give our knees some punishment.
I used to think in the back of me mind, "I'll pay for that when I'm older."
I used to think at the same time, "I'll never be older."
But now I'm older, and me knee's fucked, me groin's gone.
Me back occasionally flares up.
Uh, anythin' else?
My Achilles tendons are bruised.
Uh... Et cetera, et cetera.
Pretty quick into a tour, you're fucked,
but a lot of things that happen in the body
are a result of what's happening in the mind.
I think that it's all stoppin' workin' just because of how I'm thinking.
Jose, doctor's gonna give me a bit of a shot for energy. Yes.
- Rob, no! - Yes.
- Yes. Yes! - No! You don't need it.
- Yes, I do. - You're just tired.
- I am. - No.
- Last time it was terrible. - It wasn't. It wasn't.
- No, Rob. - No... Yes.
- No. No. - Yes.
- No, Josie, don't. - No. No.
Don't. Honestly, don't.
It makes you feel rubbish for days after.
- It doesn't. - It does!
It doesn't. Only 'cause I was ill. Doctor? It's okay.
I murdered... I will murder him.
That's what I'm worried about, quite frankly.
C'mon, doctor.
Josie, away!
Come 'ere! I love drugs, c'mon!
C'mon, kidder! Yeah! High-fives! Ten!
If I were not holding Mickey, I would be with Josie on this.
- I love drugs. - Here we are. Look!
Emergen-C!
Hm? That, in some water.
For me, how far I've gone,
with my intake of stuff,
that's like putting a Band-Aid on a...
on me losing me... me leg.
You want a little bit "sterine"... steroid?
The steroids are the ones, just so you know,
that make you feel absolutely terrible for two days after.
- Love the stuff. - Fine.
Okay.
Don't look, Jonny.
Voilà, monsieur.
All of that?!
- Yeah. - Jeez Louise.
Look, there's coming your blood.
- Oh! - Dr. Frankenstein.
Don't laugh while you're doing it. It's really off-putting.
- Okay. - Be serious.
Here we go.
It's okay.
Uncle Rob is a knob.
♪ I'm on steroids For this gig ♪
♪ Steroids for this gig ♪
♪ I like to take them often ♪
♪ But they turn you into a fat pig ♪
♪ On steroids for this gig ♪
♪ 'Cause the gig is really big Let's go! ♪
♪ I'm on steroids ♪
♪ The doctor gave me steroids ♪
Whoa!
Stop!
I think the drugs are startin' to work.
Tonight, I instantly felt like it was a party.
The least I'd done... on the whole... on any tour, on any show,
least I've ever done was tonight,
and they still went mental. It was really cool.
And did you feel the effects of, you know, the shots?
- "Steroidos"? - Yes.
I am now.
Yeah, I am now.
But it's kind of like a...
...more than a...
It's kinda like that.
You know. Which is nice.
Is that... But surely there must be an adrenaline buzz anyway.
So is it just mixed with that that just sort of...
I dunno. I dunno which is which.
Dunno which is which anymore. Where I stop and chemicals begin.
How are you feeling today?
Fucking terrible.
Terrible. Absolutely terrible.
Feel tired.
Uh, I feel
horrible.
♪ So unimpressed ♪
♪ But so in awe ♪
♪ Such a saint... ♪
I remember I had doubts
that I was gonna get through this leg of this tour.
I was like,
"This is bad."
It's too big for me.
It's too big.
♪ Watch me come undone ♪
♪ They're selling razor blades And mirrors in the street... ♪
I've had some steroids today.
♪ ...that when I'm coming down You'll be asleep ♪
They're good.
♪ If I ever hurt you ♪
♪ Your revenge would be so sweet Because I'm... ♪
I come up through the stage,
and I've gotta do grinnin' monkey boy for two hours.
♪ I come undone ♪
Ah! Fuck!
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
Very, very brave.
Got a lollipop for him?
Danke schoen, goodnight!
We've nearly finished Europe. It's been amazin'.
It's only halfway though.
But the European tour's been brilliant. Ain't it?
He's full of good news, in't he? Jesus!
- Are you looking forward-- - You asked me this mornin'!
- What did I say this mornin'? - "How long we got in England?"
"How long we got in England?" Not, "Are we halfway through the tour?"
We're not, actually. We're two-quarters...
- "Two-quarters"? - What do two-quarters make?
That's half, innit? "We're not halfway through the tour..."
- We're kinda two-thirds. - You coulda confused me.
Three-fifths.
Three-fifths. Wow.
That's 60%.
Being on a tour that is huge in scale and length
and then having a campaign in the press
that affirms my feelings and thoughts
about what, I guess, people think about me,
it's another one of those perfect storms for poor mental health.
I'm terrified to return to the UK.
It represents
hatred and a lack of safety.
I am divorced from the land that was once mine,
physically and mentally.
And I'm deeply, deeply affected by it.
How you doin', Rob?
I'm doin' all right.
Uh...
I dunno. I just get scared when I come to the UK.
The UK.
Home crowd.
You know, I've already done 30-odd shows.
A bit...
Dunno, I always shit it at home.
And I'm just a bit panicky.
♪ Sometimes I feel like ♪
♪ Throwing my hands up in the air ♪
♪ I know I can count on you ♪
♪ Sometimes I feel like saying Lord, I just don't care ♪
♪ You got the love I need To see me through ♪
♪ Sometimes it seems that the road... ♪
We've known each other a long time, old chap, haven't we?
- That's right. - You all right tonight?
I'm fuckin' shittin' it.
When you're out the hole, give us a wink, let me know you're all right, will you?
- I will. I will. - Yeah?
- Is it gonna rain tonight, d'you think? - Yeah.
- D'you think so? - Yeah.
Seriously?
I don't know! What do you think I am? The weather girl?
♪ Okay then, check the tan line ♪
♪ Make your body shake Like you're stood on a landmine ♪
♪ Call me on my mobile, not the landline ♪
♪ Jack the mainline at the same time... ♪
Unfortunately, The Sun' s piece about "Rudebox"
has had an adverse effect in Great Britain
on the song "Rudebox," which, um... I've noticed dramatically.
You know, from the crowds in Europe when I perform it, really gettin' into it,
to, actually, the crowds over 'ere
sort of takin' one step back, doin' that.
Lookin' at me quizzical.
And, uh, I stand by the record, a hundred percent.
It's a fucking great record.
Um...
It's me.
And, unfortunately...
press does affect record sales.
Um...
And it's affected, uh, "Rudebox."
And it fuckin' devastated me last week.
Most people get indifference, and that's its own... problem.
Where you just throw some shit at the wall, and none of it sticks.
This time, I threw some shit at the wall, and everybody went,
"Look at the shit on the wall!"
And it... it deeply affected me.
Yeah, it deeply affected me.
Because I'd never had to...
Everythin' was just intuition.
And then what the whole "Rudebox" thing did was
fuck up my intuition then for...
up until now.
I'm not lookin' forward to seein' this.
What are we about to watch?
Um, Leeds is two nights at Roundhay Park.
Being filmed and beamed live into cinemas and homes and...
There's 42 million people watchin' or somethin' like that.
There's more than one person watching at home. Let's put it that way.
Lotta responsibility.
I've gotta be superhuman quite soon.
There's a lot of people there. I know they're not there to see me fail,
and I know that, innately, who I am as a human being
and what I do for a livin' is to entertain, and that will come out.
But, um... there's something about,
you know, constantly havin' to deliver
that just... just makes you feel queasy.
I mean, sometimes...
"There's, like, 90,000 people there!"
And then other times...
"There's fuckin' 90,000 people there."
You know, it's fuckin'...
It's the weirdest, um,
thing to put yourself through.
Plus, you know, I mean, look at that. This Volvo truck, right?
That Volvo truck's there because of me, right?
This piece of wood's here because of me, you know?
Have a look behind you.
You know, all that, the wooden structure that's there
in our backstage area is there because of me.
It's a fuckin' responsibility. You know, when I was at sch...
"There's a Volvo truck gonna turn up because of you."
"Oh, shit."
What you do with that? Look, it's got that on.
It's got one of these things that goes all the way up there.
Fuck that.
Every... Every bolt,
every nook, every cranny,
every person...
You know, you just wanna run away sometimes.
Maybe that's why--
Do you know what I... I... you know, I am enjoyin' about this
is that I'm authentic.
There's an authenticity.
And that has changed from the...
Hi, baby! That has changed from the
earlier episodes of this Robbie Williams documentary.
Hi, baby. Um...
Those people are people.
- Yeah, what you eatin'? - I was about to ask you.
Did you come and ask me because you know
that I'm more likely to say yes than your mum?
Mm...
Mom's...
No.
That's a yes. Listen.
I've just reached a part that is probably the most traumatic moment of my life.
What happened?
A lot. You'll be able to watch it...
You'll be able to watch the documentary when you're much older.
- Fine. I'll put those back. - It's all right. I'll put 'em back.
I'll put them back.
Bye! All the very best. Love you loads.
- Bye, darlin'. - When you gonna be done?
- Bye. Bye, darlin'. - When are you gonna--
Dunno! Bye, darlin'. See you in a bit. Love you.
- Happy? - Huh?
- You all right? - Yeah, I'm--
From the sublime to the ridiculous.
I've been more tired before I've been on stage, haven't I?
- You have. - Yeah.
Yeah. I 'ave, 'aven't I?
Yeah.
Take all this nervous energy, and I turn it into just
entertainment gold.
♪ Look at this face! ♪
These next two gigs are gonna be the gigs everybody remembers
'cause they're gonna go on tape.
Let's go out there, fuckin' 'ave it,
do what we've done every fuckin' night, and deliver the goods.
Elvis, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
- Uh-huh. - Courage to change things I can...
Thank you very much!
♪ Sometimes I feel like Throwing my hands up in the air ♪
♪ I know I can count on you ♪
♪ Sometimes I feel like saying Lord, I just don't care... ♪
♪ Sometimes it seems... ♪
Look at the eyes.
You can see the eyes, right?
What am I seeing?
Trauma.
Robbie! Robbie! Robbie! Robbie!
So here's the situation.
Last night was an absolute disaster for me.
I developed a panic attack before I went on
that didn't finish,
uh,
all the way through the performance.
Uh... I could swear that people could read my mind.
And, you know, there's 90,000 people there.
I don't know if you've ever had one of those dreams where you're on stage,
uh, and you don't know the script, or you don't know what you're doin'.
I don't know if you've had one of them, but how real and how terrifyin' that is,
well, it came true for me
on stage in Leeds.
Fuckin' hell!
Thank you, Leeds!
I came off for the encore,
and I never wanted to go back onstage ever again.
I couldn't speak, and I kept shaking, and I went... I was going through trauma.
We got back to the hotel last night,
and everybody's world ended,
I just couldn't feel anythin' other than guilt.
I had some sleepin' tablets just to get to sleep
'cause I was never gonna go to sleep thinkin' about a gig tomorrow.
I woke up.
And then Josie came in, and I said, "Jose, I can't go on stage tonight."
She said, "You can. You just need to get through..."
I said, "You're fuckin' kidding me. I'm not gettin' on."
Jonny came in. He said, "Look."
He said, "I've had Dave and Tim..."
Uh, "I've had Tim cryin'."
Tim, me manager, who's the most stoic fuckin'
man ever, you know, cryin'.
This is the bottom line.
If I didn't perform tonight in Leeds,
it'll cost me more money than I've got
to, um, cancel it.
And everybody else's livelihood around me would be devastated.
And that'd be the end of me career.
I got in the helicopter and got there, and I saw the crowd, and I was okay.
And then I went into a pit of absolute
self-annihilation.
"You don't deserve it."
"You can't do it."
"You wanker."
"All this end-of-the-pier nonsense is just fuckin' rubbish."
I was absolutely petrified.
I'm proud of you, buddy.
Thanks, bud.
Let's get through this.
Now, you might all think this is absolutely mad.
And, yeah, it is.
But I'm in a situation that's completely unnatural and unreal.
People are just waitin', and always have been, for me to fuck up.
And this was it.
I am now performin'
for my life.
I do the huddle, and I start to walk.
And as I start to walk, the legs start to go.
And I get backstage,
and it's gonna go either way.
Either this tiny thread
of confidence that I'm finding will stay with me,
or I'll just fucking go to pieces.
One-two, one-two, thank you.
♪ I sit and wait ♪
♪ Does an angel ♪
♪ Contemplate my fate? ♪
♪ And do they know ♪
♪ The places where we go ♪
♪ When we're gray and old? ♪
♪ 'Cause I've been told ♪
♪ That salvation ♪
♪ Lets their wings unfold... ♪
The fact of the matter is about being in this position,
I know that half the people don't care, and half the people think I deserve it.
Um...
But I'm lettin' you know I'm in pain.
I'm in real pain.
'Cause I'm fuckin'... I'm shit scared again.
♪ She offers me protection ♪
♪ A lot of love and affection ♪
♪ Whether I'm right or wrong ♪
♪ And down the waterfall ♪
♪ Wherever it may... ♪
Fuck me.
♪ I know that life Won't break me ♪
♪ When I come to call... ♪
Tonight in Leeds, I pulled it off.
But we're not out the woods.
I'm fuckin'...
I'm relaxed now,
but I'm pretty much crippled inside.
♪ Through it all ♪
♪ She offers me protection ♪
♪ A lot of love and affection ♪
♪ Whether I'm right or wro-o-ong ♪
♪ And down the waterfall ♪
♪ Wherever it may take me ♪
♪ I know that life won't break me ♪
♪ When I come to call ♪
♪ She won't forsake me ♪
Everything all right?
♪ I'm lovin' angels instead ♪
That tour, it... it broke somethin'.
What happens next?
I don't get any less tired.
I don't get any less panicky.
And my psyche eats itself.
And, um...
the worst is yet to come.
♪ Do the rudebox, shake your... ♪
♪ Okay then, back to basics ♪
♪ Grab your shell toes And your fat laces ♪
♪ A little hand clap for some funk faces ♪
♪ And make your body move In the following places ♪
♪ Goes up your back And then down your spine ♪
♪ And when it hits your head ♪
♪ Okay then, back to bass heads ♪
♪ Dance like you just won At the Special Olympics ♪
♪ They got the rudebox Off the back of a spaceship ♪
♪ So sick I just had to take it ♪
♪ The R-U-D-E-B-O-X ♪
♪ Up your jacksy, split your kecks ♪
♪ Sing a song of Semtex ♪
♪ Pocket full of Durex ♪
♪ Body full of Mandrax ♪
- ♪ Are we gonna have sex? ♪ - ♪ Yes ♪
♪ Do you wear your knee socks? Back to the rudebox ♪
♪ Got this double fantasy Where we just never stop ♪
♪ I've got one design And that's to funk you to the top ♪
♪ Know what's on my mind It's only one thing you will find ♪
♪ I got one design And that's to bump you till you drop ♪
♪ Rudebox ♪
♪ Do the rudebox ♪
♪ 'Cause you so nasty ♪
♪ Rudebox ♪
♪ Shake your rudebox ♪
♪ Why you so nasty? ♪
♪ Rudebox ♪
♪ Do the rudebox ♪
♪ 'Cause you so nasty ♪
♪ Rudebox ♪
♪ Shake your rudebox ♪
♪ Why you so nasty? ♪
♪ Okay then, back to spaceship ♪
♪ Take both pills, fuck the Matrix ♪
♪ Jack those Jills, shake your Playtex ♪
♪ Rock three stripes, not the Asics ♪
♪ A-D-I-D-A-S ♪
- ♪ Old school, 'cause it's the best ♪ - ♪ Yes ♪
- ♪ TK Maxx cost less ♪ - ♪ Yes ♪
- ♪ Jackson looks a mess ♪ - ♪ Bless ♪
♪ Okay then, what to do ♪
♪ If you try to jack me I'll rudebox you ♪
♪ If you rudebox me I'll rudebox your whole crew ♪
♪ 'Cause it's what I do Ain't that right, boo? ♪
♪ I'll ride with you If you can get me to the border ♪
♪ 'Cause the sheriff's after me For what I did to his daughter ♪
- ♪ I did it like this ♪ - ♪ You did it like that ♪
♪ I love it when you double clap-clap ♪
♪ Got this double fantasy Where we just never stop ♪
♪ I've got one design And that's to funk you to the top... ♪