1 00:00:04,292 --> 00:00:05,625 JENNIFER: What happened to me? 2 00:00:11,958 --> 00:00:16,542 BANNER: I'm sorry. I tried to warn you. My blood got into your system. 3 00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:20,417 JENNIFER: So I turn into a Hulk now too. 4 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:21,583 (GROWLS) 5 00:00:21,708 --> 00:00:22,875 Who the hell are you? 6 00:00:22,958 --> 00:00:26,000 -She-Hulk! She-Hulk! She-Hulk! -HOLLIWAY: Ms Walters? 7 00:00:26,083 --> 00:00:29,083 We just started a Superhuman Law Division, 8 00:00:29,167 --> 00:00:31,958 and I want the She-Hulk to be the face of it. 9 00:00:32,042 --> 00:00:34,583 I can't wait to take on whatever case you assign me... 10 00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:39,042 Your first case is the parole of Emil Blonsky. Also known as Abomination. 11 00:00:39,125 --> 00:00:40,333 EMIL: Jennifer Walters. 12 00:00:40,417 --> 00:00:45,125 I've already got a winning strategy, and it is 100% in the bag. 13 00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:47,667 You might wanna take a look at the news right now. 14 00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:50,417 After shocking footage leaked showing the Abomination 15 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:53,875 participating in what appears to be an underground fight club, 16 00:00:53,958 --> 00:00:55,750 after having escaped from prison. 17 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,875 Do you wanna explain to me why you failed to mention 18 00:01:46,958 --> 00:01:50,625 that you not only escaped from prison, but you were also recorded doing so? 19 00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:53,708 You said to my face that you never turn into the Abomination anymore. 20 00:01:53,792 --> 00:01:56,458 No, I said I choose not to. 21 00:01:56,542 --> 00:01:59,875 You know, these were extenuating circumstances. 22 00:01:59,958 --> 00:02:02,625 You understand that this constitutes another crime 23 00:02:02,708 --> 00:02:04,667 and totally destroys your chances at parole? 24 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:06,583 What? 25 00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:11,083 Nah, 'cause I was forced to leave my cell, 26 00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:14,708 but I returned of my own free will. 27 00:02:14,792 --> 00:02:19,208 Who forced you to escape this insanely high-security prison undetected? 28 00:02:19,292 --> 00:02:24,375 A Sorcerer Supreme of the Mystic Arts, and his name is... 29 00:02:24,458 --> 00:02:27,042 Wong. Just Wong. 30 00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:29,625 And his Internet presence is a little chaotic. 31 00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:32,917 He's either a sorcerer who lives in New York, 32 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,083 or a librarian who lives in Nepal. 33 00:02:35,167 --> 00:02:36,500 Can you get to him? 34 00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:38,875 Yes, Jen. It's me. Of course I can get to him. 35 00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:41,750 I sent a thirst trap. It was a picture of me with a bunch of books. 36 00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:43,708 Yeah, well, let's just hope he calls back. 37 00:02:43,792 --> 00:02:45,250 If Blonsky's telling the truth, 38 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:49,333 this guy busted him out of his prison cell and probably ruined my entire case. 39 00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:53,375 I know you can't wait to see Wong. I get it. 40 00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:55,167 I wanna make sure that you don't think 41 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:58,542 this is one of those cameo every week type of shows. It's not. 42 00:02:59,542 --> 00:03:00,792 Well, except Bruce. 43 00:03:01,292 --> 00:03:03,583 And Blonsky. And Wong. 44 00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:07,417 Just remember whose show this actually is. 45 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:13,750 (NEWS THEME PLAYING) 46 00:03:13,833 --> 00:03:16,708 Attorney Jennifer Walters of law firm GLK and H 47 00:03:16,792 --> 00:03:21,417 has been tapped to represent Emil Blonsky, also known as the Abomination, 48 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,458 in his upcoming parole hearing. 49 00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:25,292 The news has stirred up much controversy. 50 00:03:25,375 --> 00:03:26,875 Ever since it's been revealed that 51 00:03:26,958 --> 00:03:30,667 Jennifer Walters has a superhero alter-ego called She-Hulk, 52 00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:34,625 the statuesque green lawyer has been plagued by public backlash, 53 00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:37,167 with many questioning her qualifications. 54 00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:44,333 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 55 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:49,958 They took the Hulk's manhood away, but then they gave it to a woman? 56 00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:53,667 MAN 2: I don't get it. Why are you turning every superhero into a girl? 57 00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:56,625 MAN 3: So we have a MeToo movement, and now all the male heroes are gone? 58 00:03:56,708 --> 00:03:59,625 I have no problem with female heroes. Just saying make your own. 59 00:03:59,708 --> 00:04:01,458 I don't know about y'all, but I'd smash. 60 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,458 We have Gideon Wilson, the prosecutor 61 00:04:04,542 --> 00:04:07,333 who put the Abomination away all those years ago. Gideon. 62 00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:10,000 First, I would like to say, it is frankly appalling that 63 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,833 anyone would work towards freeing a monster like the... 64 00:04:13,583 --> 00:04:17,083 -Have you seen this insanity? -I don't care what anybody says about me. 65 00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:19,417 There's something in this country called due process. 66 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,792 -Emil deserves a fair hearing. -You have to respond. 67 00:04:22,292 --> 00:04:24,375 You have to be in control of your own narrative. 68 00:04:25,375 --> 00:04:26,792 Jennifer Walters speaking. 69 00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:29,708 Yes, I will be right there. 70 00:04:31,208 --> 00:04:32,500 Holliway beckons. 71 00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:35,167 (SIGHS) Come on. This case is huge. 72 00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:38,083 People wanna know every single detail about your life. 73 00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:39,292 You're a public figure now. 74 00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:42,333 The office has been flooded with calls and requests for interviews, 75 00:04:42,417 --> 00:04:43,542 so you should do one. 76 00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:45,958 People only care because I'm representing Emil Blonsky. 77 00:04:46,042 --> 00:04:48,625 Once that's over, this whole media circus will die down. 78 00:04:48,708 --> 00:04:52,750 No, Jen, this is not gonna go away just because you're ignoring it. 79 00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:54,542 Every minute I spend on this crap 80 00:04:54,625 --> 00:04:56,958 is one less minute I spend focusing on my job. 81 00:04:57,417 --> 00:05:01,000 DENNIS: This is absolutely ridiculous. I am incredibly upset. 82 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,958 What kind of office doesn't have any Red Bulls? 83 00:05:03,042 --> 00:05:04,042 (JENNIFER CLEARS THROAT) 84 00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:08,875 -Dennis. -No way... Not Jen Walters. 85 00:05:08,958 --> 00:05:12,833 Ms. Walters is head of the Superhuman Law Division. 86 00:05:12,917 --> 00:05:15,917 We have too much history for me to be comfortable with her on the case. 87 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,917 I would love to know what this is about and not work on it. 88 00:05:19,833 --> 00:05:21,417 -You wanted to see me? -Ah, yes. 89 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:25,083 Mallory Book is also in the Superhuman Law Division. 90 00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:29,250 Yeah. No, I can't talk to a 10 about embarrassing man stuff. 91 00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:30,958 She could be my next fiancée. 92 00:05:31,875 --> 00:05:33,292 Happy to not be involved. 93 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:37,375 Is he a lawyer? He looks cool. I'll take him. 94 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:42,750 Well, our friend, Mr. Bukowski from the DA's office, 95 00:05:42,833 --> 00:05:46,917 needs help on a delicate matter. 96 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,833 He's been defrauded by an ex-girlfriend 97 00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:52,250 and wants to file a suit against her to get his money back. 98 00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:55,292 Yeah. I bought her jewelry, flew her to Bali for a photo-shoot, 99 00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:57,458 paid off her Volkswagen Passat. Subscribed to... 100 00:05:57,542 --> 00:05:59,167 But why the Superhuman Law Division? 101 00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:03,208 The girlfriend in question is a shapeshifting Light Elf from New Asgard. 102 00:06:03,292 --> 00:06:04,417 Wow, Dennis. 103 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:07,333 Okay. Well, to be fair, I thought I was dating Megan Thee Stallion. 104 00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:08,417 I'm sorry. What? 105 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:11,542 Sorry. You thought you were dating Megan Thee Stallion? 106 00:06:12,167 --> 00:06:15,417 Multiple Grammy award-winner megastar Megan Thee Stallion? 107 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,583 What part of "shapeshifter" did you not get? 108 00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:18,833 (CHUCKLES) 109 00:06:18,917 --> 00:06:22,125 -You thought she drove a Passat? -This is why I don't want Walters. 110 00:06:22,208 --> 00:06:23,833 (CHUCKLES) I'm so sorry. 111 00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:25,833 (WHOOSHING) 112 00:06:27,083 --> 00:06:29,458 Ms. Walters, I received your message. 113 00:06:29,542 --> 00:06:32,917 Uh, Mr. Wong. Great entrance. Perfect timing. 114 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,500 -I really need to take this. -You may go. 115 00:06:35,583 --> 00:06:38,625 Thank you. Uh, Pug, good luck. 116 00:06:38,708 --> 00:06:39,792 Dennis... 117 00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:41,750 (LAUGHS) 118 00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:42,958 Sorry. 119 00:06:43,458 --> 00:06:45,667 Everything Mr. Blonsky told you is factual. 120 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:49,042 I extracted him from the prison against his own wishes, 121 00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:51,083 because I required a worthy opponent 122 00:06:51,167 --> 00:06:53,583 as part of my training to become Sorcerer Supreme. 123 00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:57,458 And as Sorcerer Supreme, I insist that he not be punished for my actions. 124 00:06:58,542 --> 00:07:00,875 Again, I am not the one who will be punishing him. 125 00:07:00,958 --> 00:07:03,708 The parole board will not release him after seeing this video. 126 00:07:03,792 --> 00:07:07,917 I know what you're thinking, Ms. Walters, and I'm not erasing everyone's memories. 127 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,000 Not again. 128 00:07:09,083 --> 00:07:11,292 That is not what I was thinking. That is highly unethical. 129 00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:13,708 Yeah, it's also very messy, believe me. 130 00:07:13,792 --> 00:07:16,167 -Okay. -We'll send him to the Mirror Dimension. 131 00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:18,375 -Don't know what that is, but no. -Shadow Dimension? 132 00:07:19,542 --> 00:07:23,000 What you can do to help is show up at the hearing and explain everything. 133 00:07:23,083 --> 00:07:26,542 Very well. We'll reserve sorcery for strategy B. 134 00:07:26,625 --> 00:07:27,750 Don't tap your nose. 135 00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:32,542 PUG: So, Mr. Bukowski, how much money in cash and gifts 136 00:07:32,625 --> 00:07:35,542 did you spend on the Megan Thee Stallion imposter? 137 00:07:35,958 --> 00:07:37,542 Oh, man. (GROANS) 138 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:42,500 How about I just say a number, and you tell me higher or lower, okay? 139 00:07:42,583 --> 00:07:47,125 Considering that you bought her a mid-sized sedan, how about $50,000? 140 00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:49,750 100? 141 00:07:50,292 --> 00:07:55,208 -200? -(CHUCKLES) $200,000? I am not a fool. 142 00:07:56,250 --> 00:08:00,333 -No, it was more like 175. -100... $175,000? 143 00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:03,542 That's a house in parts of the country, Mr. Bukowski. 144 00:08:03,625 --> 00:08:05,083 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, right. 145 00:08:06,375 --> 00:08:08,542 So, are you gonna help me or not? 146 00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:11,875 I'm gonna start building your case, and I will be in touch, Mr. Bukowski. 147 00:08:13,583 --> 00:08:14,667 All right. 148 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:21,750 Okay. 149 00:08:22,792 --> 00:08:26,917 (VIDEO PLAYING INDISTINCTLY) 150 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,083 (LAUGHS) 151 00:08:28,167 --> 00:08:31,917 I'm not really Megan Thee Stallion. 152 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,708 What's up, bro? How's it hanging, man? 153 00:08:35,458 --> 00:08:37,958 I got a change of heart. I'm gonna drop the case. 154 00:08:38,042 --> 00:08:39,458 Wait. What? Just now? You just... 155 00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:44,542 The truth is, I think somewhere deep inside, I knew. You know? 156 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,292 I gave those things 'cause I wanted to. 157 00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:50,458 I was just embarrassed to get found out in such a public way. 158 00:08:51,083 --> 00:08:53,833 But at some point in time, you gotta take personal responsibility. 159 00:08:53,917 --> 00:08:57,875 -I have to say, this is unexpected. -Well, it's just money after all. 160 00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:02,833 And now, I have a... I got a story to tell. 161 00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:08,708 -(PHONE VIBRATES) -I'm sorry, Mr... This is Pug. 162 00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,375 DENNIS ON PHONE: Hey, man. I think somebody towed my Cybertruck. 163 00:09:12,458 --> 00:09:16,708 They're saying it was a handicapped spot. I swear it was a Cybertruck spot. 164 00:09:17,458 --> 00:09:19,333 Hello? You there? (LAUGHS) 165 00:09:19,417 --> 00:09:21,708 Your jaw's on the floor because I drive a Cybertruck. 166 00:09:21,792 --> 00:09:22,792 Security! 167 00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:29,375 I love harassing women in the workplace. It's my kick, baby. 168 00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:33,333 -Not cool. -Let that be a warning. 169 00:09:33,625 --> 00:09:35,375 (PEOPLE GASPING SOFTLY) 170 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:37,208 I don't. 171 00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:40,167 You guys know me. 172 00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:44,500 REPORTER: We're coming to you live from outside the ultra-high security prison 173 00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:49,208 where the man known as the Abomination will appear before a parole board. 174 00:09:49,292 --> 00:09:52,250 There is much public furor over the possible release of... 175 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:54,583 Wait. Is that her? She-Hulk, can we get a word? 176 00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:57,000 Is it true you were rejected by the Avengers? 177 00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:59,625 That was Jennifer Walters, also known as She-Hulk, 178 00:09:59,708 --> 00:10:02,333 rumored to have been rejected by the Avengers. 179 00:10:10,667 --> 00:10:13,167 -Hey. Are you ready for this? -Yeah. 180 00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:16,708 Uh, are those your soulmates? 181 00:10:16,792 --> 00:10:18,292 -Ah, yeah. -Okay. 182 00:10:19,458 --> 00:10:20,458 Is Wong about? 183 00:10:20,542 --> 00:10:24,333 No. I don't understand how a guy with zero commute time is late. 184 00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:27,917 We are here today to determine whether Emil Blonsky is 185 00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:32,542 suitable for return to society after having served his minimum sentence. 186 00:10:32,917 --> 00:10:35,458 In light of recent evidence of a prison escape, 187 00:10:35,542 --> 00:10:38,458 I think we all know how this is gonna go. So, let's keep this brief. 188 00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:42,875 As Mr. Blonsky's counsel, I would love to address the alleged prison escape. 189 00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:44,417 We do have a witness 190 00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:48,042 who is able to clear Mr. Blonsky of any wrongdoing on his part. 191 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,667 Then we'll start with that then. 192 00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:54,958 Well, yes, the witness is prepared to give a statement 193 00:10:55,792 --> 00:10:57,458 after Mr. Blonsky gives his. 194 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,583 MAN: Are we really entertaining the idea of releasing 195 00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:03,167 someone who's been documented escaping from prison? 196 00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:07,708 Now hold on. Mr. Blonsky, do you feel you have been rehabilitated? 197 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,125 Uh... 198 00:11:12,417 --> 00:11:17,375 Let's start by saying that I feel great remorse, 199 00:11:17,792 --> 00:11:20,875 great shame to those that I've harmed. 200 00:11:21,417 --> 00:11:24,958 So, to answer your question, yes, I feel I have been rehabilitated. 201 00:11:25,708 --> 00:11:31,167 I've spent every day of my incarceration focused solely on redemption. 202 00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,167 I have changed. 203 00:11:33,792 --> 00:11:37,125 Emotionally, physically, metaphysically, spiritually, 204 00:11:37,208 --> 00:11:39,917 karmically, cosmically, inter-dimensionally... 205 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,333 Et cetera. 206 00:11:41,417 --> 00:11:45,208 What Mr. Blonsky is trying to say is that the man you see before you 207 00:11:45,292 --> 00:11:47,958 is not the same Emil Blonsky as before. 208 00:11:48,042 --> 00:11:51,167 All he wants now is to be a contributing member of society. 209 00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:54,167 If released, would you have a place to live? 210 00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:56,375 Yeah. You can rely on that. 211 00:11:57,583 --> 00:12:01,958 Mr. Blonsky does own a plot of land on which he plans to work and reside. 212 00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:04,083 He's going into farming? 213 00:12:04,167 --> 00:12:08,792 No. Actually, he plans to open a meditation retreat on the property. 214 00:12:08,875 --> 00:12:11,292 So, just very... Well, you know... 215 00:12:11,375 --> 00:12:16,000 And how does Mr. Blonsky intend to fund this endeavor? 216 00:12:17,417 --> 00:12:19,500 Mr. Blonsky is currently 217 00:12:19,583 --> 00:12:23,250 in a long-term committed relationship with several pen pals. 218 00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:26,708 All of whom have pledged to financially support him. 219 00:12:26,792 --> 00:12:28,375 Excuse me. If I could... 220 00:12:28,458 --> 00:12:30,833 -May I clarify? Yeah. -No. 221 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:36,875 Blair, Ruth, Marta, Sheila, Alejandra, Yvonne and Nicolette are my soulmates. 222 00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:40,583 We met through the prison pen pal program. 223 00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:43,292 They are my better eighths. 224 00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:47,667 (CLICKS TONGUE) Love you. 225 00:12:49,792 --> 00:12:53,083 I don't think we need to get into that any further. Any other questions? 226 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:58,000 Blonsky started the prison's literacy program. 227 00:12:58,083 --> 00:13:00,333 He's helped countless prisoners learn how to read. 228 00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:03,625 He leads guided meditation and yoga for the prisoners. 229 00:13:05,542 --> 00:13:09,042 -(SOBS) He saved me from a bad marriage. -That's it, Carl. Let it flow. 230 00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:11,792 Now the library is more than just a quiet place to shiv someone. 231 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:15,875 Instead of toilet wine, prisoners make toilet kombucha. 232 00:13:15,958 --> 00:13:18,208 (BREATHING DEEPLY) 233 00:13:18,292 --> 00:13:20,708 -I release you, Linda. -Proud of you, Carl. 234 00:13:20,792 --> 00:13:24,125 -I love you so much. -Yeah, okay, we're done with Carl. 235 00:13:24,208 --> 00:13:26,333 (CARL SOBS) 236 00:13:26,417 --> 00:13:30,625 Is that all? Because there's still the matter of Mr. Blonsky's escape. 237 00:13:33,125 --> 00:13:36,625 (ABOMINATION ROARS ON VIDEO) 238 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,083 Uh... 239 00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:44,375 Yes, there were extenuating circumstances that the witness will explain. 240 00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:47,042 (SOFTLY) If he ever decides to show up. 241 00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:53,000 My apologies, Ms. Walters and Emil. 242 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,917 -Ah! Finally. -I lost track of time. 243 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,167 I've asked Wong here today 244 00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:02,125 because he is the man responsible for Emil Blonsky leaving prison. 245 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:05,792 And I do think you will see this whole thing in a totally different light 246 00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:07,208 after hearing from him. 247 00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:13,333 Have you ever heard of a kumite? 248 00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:14,583 Mmm-mmm. 249 00:14:16,167 --> 00:14:18,833 I'd like to move for dismissal of all charges against my client. 250 00:14:18,917 --> 00:14:20,000 On what grounds? 251 00:14:20,083 --> 00:14:24,125 Runa is the daughter of an Elfin diplomat on Asgard and now in New Asgard. 252 00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:26,958 -Did you know about this? -As such, she has diplomatic immunity. 253 00:14:27,042 --> 00:14:31,458 She may have diplomatic immunity in New Asgard, but we are not in New Asgard. 254 00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:33,208 Excuse me, Your Honor, 255 00:14:33,292 --> 00:14:38,042 but Asgard is not a place, it is a people. Therefore, I... 256 00:14:38,125 --> 00:14:41,333 Thor's inspirational speeches are not admissible in court. 257 00:14:42,167 --> 00:14:44,042 Your Honor, this case is very cut and dry. 258 00:14:44,125 --> 00:14:48,750 My client was defrauded of $175,000 by a scam artist. 259 00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:50,458 He deserves compensation 260 00:14:50,542 --> 00:14:52,958 for the financial and emotional trauma that he's suffered. 261 00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:56,125 My client and Mr. Bukowski were in a consensual relationship 262 00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:58,375 -and engaged in role-play. -Oh, gross. 263 00:14:58,458 --> 00:15:01,208 No rational adult would have believed my client's texts 264 00:15:01,292 --> 00:15:03,333 -were from the real Megan Thee Stallion. -(SCOFFS) 265 00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:05,583 Mr. Bukowski knew he was dating Miss Runa 266 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:07,958 and went along with it until it no longer suited him. 267 00:15:08,042 --> 00:15:09,042 I did not. 268 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:11,958 This was a relationship gone bad, not a scam. 269 00:15:12,042 --> 00:15:14,500 Mr. Bukowski was blinded by love. 270 00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:18,542 He absolutely believed that he was dating the real Megan Thee Stallion. 271 00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:23,458 I must say, I find it hard to believe that Mr. Bukowski could be fooled so easily. 272 00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:26,250 And the onus is on you to prove that, Mr. Pugliese. 273 00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:28,958 That being said, I'll allow this to go to trial. 274 00:15:29,042 --> 00:15:32,292 So, Miss Runa, your motion to dismiss is denied. 275 00:15:32,375 --> 00:15:34,417 -(GAVEL BANGS) -(AUDIENCE MURMURING) 276 00:15:35,583 --> 00:15:36,583 Crushed that. 277 00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:41,333 And when this is over, I'm canceling my Hollywood Hookups subscription. 278 00:15:41,417 --> 00:15:43,042 There's clearly no vetting process. 279 00:15:46,042 --> 00:15:47,125 (GAVEL TAPPING) 280 00:15:47,792 --> 00:15:52,083 In light of some new information I have just received, I'm changing my ruling. 281 00:15:52,958 --> 00:15:53,958 (CHUCKLES) 282 00:15:54,042 --> 00:15:56,375 Come on, Runa. This is getting a little broad. 283 00:15:57,583 --> 00:16:00,917 Impersonating a judge is illegal. Get down from there. 284 00:16:03,375 --> 00:16:04,542 (RUNA LAUGHS WICKEDLY) 285 00:16:04,625 --> 00:16:05,625 This is very good for us. 286 00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:10,250 Yuck. 287 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:14,083 In regard to Mr. Blonsky vacating his cell, I gave him no choice. 288 00:16:14,958 --> 00:16:17,792 But it was absolutely his choice to return. 289 00:16:19,167 --> 00:16:23,542 I offered him asylum at the Kamar-Taj, which is lovely this time of the year. 290 00:16:24,208 --> 00:16:26,417 But he was quite adamant he be returned 291 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:30,417 to serve out his sentence and repay his debt to society. 292 00:16:31,292 --> 00:16:32,292 Thank you. 293 00:16:35,417 --> 00:16:40,708 So you see, Emil Blonsky was forced out of his cell against his will. 294 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:45,292 And even when offered instant freedom, he chose to return to his cell. 295 00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:47,583 These are not the actions of a criminal 296 00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:51,292 but of a reformed man who truly wants to do the right thing. 297 00:16:51,708 --> 00:16:53,917 Well, that may be true of Emil Blonsky, 298 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,875 but when Blonsky uncontrollably becomes Abomination, 299 00:16:56,958 --> 00:16:59,250 isn't he a raging monster out for blood? 300 00:16:59,792 --> 00:17:03,625 Uh... Excuse me. If I could just put your minds at ease... 301 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:07,208 -JENNIFER: Oh, no, absolutely not. -Hang on a sec. 302 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,250 -No. No, no. -What? 303 00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,167 Emil. Emil, no. 304 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,750 -It's fine, Jen. -No, please. 305 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:17,500 No, no, no, no. You... Don't... No, no, no, no. 306 00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:19,417 (GASPS) 307 00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:23,708 Oh, my God. 308 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,375 -No, no, no, no. -(ALARM BLARING) 309 00:17:26,458 --> 00:17:28,125 Everybody just relax 310 00:17:29,583 --> 00:17:31,708 -Get out of there! Get him... -(WOMAN SCREAMS) 311 00:17:33,042 --> 00:17:34,875 -Oh, my God! -Stop, stop, stop, stop. 312 00:17:35,542 --> 00:17:37,542 -Oh, my God. -Hang on. Force is not necessary. 313 00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:40,083 As you can see, I'm in full control. 314 00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:42,417 That's enough! Change back now! 315 00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:46,958 Get down! Down. He's fine. It's fine. He's totally fine. 316 00:17:47,042 --> 00:17:48,833 -Emil! -All right, all right. Calm down. 317 00:17:49,375 --> 00:17:50,500 (BODY MORPHING) 318 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,125 (SIGHS) 319 00:17:56,125 --> 00:17:57,208 Please... 320 00:17:57,292 --> 00:17:58,458 Uh... 321 00:17:58,542 --> 00:18:04,625 Ladies and gentlemen, I beg you to forgive Mr. Blonsky's enthusiasm. 322 00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:08,333 He didn't intend to frighten anyone. 323 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:13,583 In fact, this proves that in every instance, 324 00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:20,000 Mr. Blonsky could have broken free but has chosen to remain in his cell. 325 00:18:20,083 --> 00:18:26,083 As his stellar prison record reflects, Mr. Blonsky spent his entire incarceration 326 00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:30,458 practicing a strict regimen of training and self-discipline 327 00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:33,500 so that he may walk among his fellow citizens 328 00:18:33,583 --> 00:18:38,583 with no chance of becoming a rampaging Abomination again. 329 00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:42,708 He deserves a future as a free man and a productive citizen. 330 00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:45,125 Thank you, Ms. Walters. 331 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:48,125 We will adjourn for today and consider all of the facts. 332 00:18:48,208 --> 00:18:51,250 We will reconvene once a decision has been reached. 333 00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:54,125 And please, let's get this man some clothes. 334 00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:57,042 -Oh, yeah. -And as for Mr. Wong... 335 00:18:57,750 --> 00:19:02,042 Just "Wong." The Sorcerer Supreme. Master of the Mystic Arts. 336 00:19:02,125 --> 00:19:04,208 Leader and former librarian of Kamar-Taj. 337 00:19:04,292 --> 00:19:06,208 Yeah. You realize that 338 00:19:06,292 --> 00:19:11,083 you've just admitted to facilitating a prisoner escape, which is a crime. 339 00:19:11,167 --> 00:19:12,208 I must depart. 340 00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:27,583 REPORTER: There she is. 341 00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:31,958 How do you plan to take Blonsky down when he rampages again? 342 00:19:32,042 --> 00:19:34,750 What about claims that you're one of Blonsky's rumored soulmates? 343 00:19:34,833 --> 00:19:37,000 Is there any truth to the rumors you got your powers 344 00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:39,083 -from a Mafia hit gone wrong? -What? 345 00:19:39,167 --> 00:19:43,958 That was Jennifer Walters rushing by, undoubtedly hoping to avoid the protesters 346 00:19:44,042 --> 00:19:46,042 that are gathered just outside the gates here. 347 00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:49,500 And then I get to my car, and some protester has written on it, 348 00:19:49,583 --> 00:19:51,417 "Monster defending a monster." 349 00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:53,708 This can go away with one little interview. 350 00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:57,000 -Good Day LA is thirsty for you. -No, thank you. Hard pass. 351 00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:59,083 -(SCOFFS) -I cannot wait for this to be over 352 00:19:59,167 --> 00:20:02,625 so I can go back to being a normal anonymous lawyer. 353 00:20:03,375 --> 00:20:06,250 -Who also happens to be a Hulk. -What are you talking about? 354 00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:10,417 Jen, the genie is out of the bottle, girl. You are a story now. 355 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,667 Okay, yeah. No. I don't want this. 356 00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:16,542 Oh, my God. You're pregnant with the Abomination's baby, 357 00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:18,208 and you're flaunting a baby-bump. 358 00:20:18,292 --> 00:20:19,875 -That's who the father is? -Yeah. 359 00:20:19,958 --> 00:20:22,708 Good God. Dennis Bukowski. 360 00:20:22,792 --> 00:20:26,625 -Yeah. No, you're gonna need that. -Connecting the A and B story. Nice. 361 00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:29,542 How did you two work with him for so long? 362 00:20:29,625 --> 00:20:32,583 Oh, I killed him in my head several times, in many different ways. 363 00:20:32,667 --> 00:20:35,042 And yet he was convinced that she had a crush on him. 364 00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:38,333 -The man is almost terminally deluded. -I'd call him gross. 365 00:20:38,417 --> 00:20:40,083 JENNIFER: Yeah. Just gross. 366 00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:42,458 Hey, would you be willing to say that under oath? 367 00:20:43,625 --> 00:20:45,542 I swear the testimony I'm about to give today 368 00:20:45,625 --> 00:20:48,042 is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 369 00:20:48,125 --> 00:20:52,292 Hey, P-Dog, how is Jen our best option? I gave you a whole list of my boys. 370 00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:55,208 Jen is gonna help us clinch this. Trust me. 371 00:20:55,958 --> 00:20:59,417 Ms. Walters, how would you describe your relationship to Mr. Bukowski? 372 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:02,542 We worked together for several years at the DA's office. 373 00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:05,375 Would you say that you know Mr. Bukowski fairly well? 374 00:21:05,833 --> 00:21:08,917 Definitely. We worked regularly on cases together, 375 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,917 so I've spent a lot of time with Mr. Bukowski. 376 00:21:13,292 --> 00:21:16,917 Did he ever share his personal life with you? Specifically, his dating life. 377 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,917 Yes, he would, prolifically and unprompted. 378 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,208 You wanted to know. 379 00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:26,708 How would you characterize Mr. Bukowski in relation to his romantic life? 380 00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:31,792 Self-absorbed, chauvinistic, conceited. 381 00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:36,583 He once described himself as a New York 10 and an LA 11. 382 00:21:36,667 --> 00:21:38,042 (LAUGHS) 383 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,208 He nicknamed his office the Dennisphere... 384 00:21:41,292 --> 00:21:43,167 Objection. Relevance. 385 00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:47,667 Mr. Bukowski, need I remind you that you're not representing yourself here? 386 00:21:48,125 --> 00:21:49,750 And this is your witness. 387 00:21:49,833 --> 00:21:53,375 But I agree. Mr. Pugliese, get to your point. 388 00:21:53,458 --> 00:21:55,958 It's been stated many times in this courtroom 389 00:21:56,042 --> 00:21:58,042 that a man of reasonable intelligence 390 00:21:58,125 --> 00:22:01,292 would never think that he was dating the real Megan Thee Stallion. 391 00:22:01,708 --> 00:22:06,250 In your opinion, Ms. Walters, do you think that Dennis Bukowski would believe 392 00:22:06,333 --> 00:22:10,125 that he could actually pull Megan Thee Stallion? 393 00:22:10,208 --> 00:22:15,333 Yes. Dennis Bukowski is an almost pathologically entitled man. 394 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:18,708 He would absolutely believe that he's dating the real Megan Thee Stallion 395 00:22:18,792 --> 00:22:20,875 because he is truly that delusional. 396 00:22:21,583 --> 00:22:23,208 No further questions, Your Honor. 397 00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:35,167 In the case of Bukowski v. Runa, I award full damages to Dennis Bukowski 398 00:22:35,250 --> 00:22:39,042 in the amount of $175,000. 399 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:40,250 In addition, 400 00:22:40,333 --> 00:22:46,542 we also sentence the defendant to 60 days for impersonating a judge. 401 00:22:46,625 --> 00:22:48,292 No, no, no, no, no, no. 402 00:22:48,792 --> 00:22:50,792 That's right. There's only one Megan Thee Stallion. 403 00:22:50,875 --> 00:22:52,208 Make some noise. 404 00:22:53,208 --> 00:22:54,208 Ah! 405 00:22:54,750 --> 00:22:57,417 You guys think I have a shot with the real Megan Thee Stallion? 406 00:22:57,500 --> 00:22:58,500 Should I go back? 407 00:22:58,583 --> 00:23:01,625 No. No. Please, don't do that. Thanks for that testimony in there, Jen. 408 00:23:01,708 --> 00:23:02,750 It was my pleasure. 409 00:23:02,833 --> 00:23:05,458 The sad part is that elf's just gonna get a slap on the wrist. 410 00:23:05,542 --> 00:23:07,667 I wish there was a way we could remove her powers 411 00:23:07,750 --> 00:23:10,042 and make sure she doesn't victimize anyone else. 412 00:23:10,125 --> 00:23:13,292 Oh! Did Dennis Bukowski just give me an idea? 413 00:23:14,625 --> 00:23:15,958 That will stay between us. 414 00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:21,750 (REPORTERS CLAMORING) 415 00:23:23,250 --> 00:23:26,750 We've just received word the parole board has reached a decision. 416 00:23:26,833 --> 00:23:30,583 (REPORTERS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) 417 00:23:32,542 --> 00:23:33,875 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 418 00:23:42,250 --> 00:23:43,750 After reviewing his record, 419 00:23:43,833 --> 00:23:47,458 we hereby grant Mr. Blonsky's release on parole, effective immediately. 420 00:23:47,542 --> 00:23:48,542 Yes. 421 00:23:48,625 --> 00:23:50,750 -(CHEERING) -MAN: As a condition of his parole, 422 00:23:50,833 --> 00:23:54,708 Mr. Blonsky is prohibited from turning into Abomination indefinitely, 423 00:23:55,375 --> 00:23:58,458 and is ordered to wear an inhibitor in perpetuity. 424 00:23:58,542 --> 00:24:03,042 Any violation of this condition will result in his immediate return to prison. 425 00:24:03,583 --> 00:24:05,333 Understood. Thank you. 426 00:24:06,042 --> 00:24:09,375 Thank you, Jen. I'm in your debt, you know. 427 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,000 Spiritually, of course. 428 00:24:11,083 --> 00:24:13,375 Just stay out of the news. That's all I ask. 429 00:24:13,458 --> 00:24:15,958 I don't wanna read any more stories about either of us. 430 00:24:16,042 --> 00:24:17,583 You might wanna reconsider that. 431 00:24:17,667 --> 00:24:20,708 They're gonna write a story about you one way or the other, you know. 432 00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:22,500 Better to be a part of it, really. 433 00:24:24,750 --> 00:24:27,458 (NEWS THEME PLAYING) 434 00:24:27,542 --> 00:24:30,042 The Abomination is now a free man. 435 00:24:30,125 --> 00:24:34,375 Here with us in the studio, the lawyer responsible for his release, She-Hulk. 436 00:24:34,458 --> 00:24:37,167 Yeah, my name is Jennifer Walters, not She-Hulk, 437 00:24:37,250 --> 00:24:41,167 and my client's name is Emil Blonsky, not the Abomination. 438 00:24:41,875 --> 00:24:42,875 Got it. 439 00:24:42,958 --> 00:24:47,292 The high-profile nature of this case and the fact that you yourself are a Hulk 440 00:24:47,375 --> 00:24:49,667 has catapulted you into the public eye. 441 00:24:50,167 --> 00:24:53,000 So, tell us, how did you come up with the name She-Hulk? 442 00:24:53,083 --> 00:24:55,917 Oh! Funny story, I didn't. 443 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,708 Some random guy on the news came up with it 444 00:24:58,792 --> 00:25:03,083 after thinking about it for, like, two seconds, but it stuck. 445 00:25:03,417 --> 00:25:07,917 So, now whether I like it or not, I am forever She-Hulk. 446 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,625 Great. We have to take a break. 447 00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:13,583 When we come back, She-Hulk shares her diet and exercise secrets. 448 00:25:13,667 --> 00:25:14,667 JENNIFER: I'm sorry. What? 449 00:25:14,750 --> 00:25:18,542 (NEWS THEME PLAYING) 450 00:25:32,375 --> 00:25:33,792 (CAR LOCK CHIMES) 451 00:25:39,042 --> 00:25:40,292 (GASPS) 452 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,125 -I got her. Come on, guys. I got her. -(SCREAMS) 453 00:25:44,667 --> 00:25:45,833 Oh, wait. 454 00:25:50,208 --> 00:25:51,292 Get off me. 455 00:25:51,917 --> 00:25:53,083 (MAN SCREAMS) 456 00:25:55,375 --> 00:25:58,917 If you're gonna strut around showing off your powers, 457 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,583 you better be able to back it up. 458 00:26:00,667 --> 00:26:04,292 When did I ever strut around and show off my powers? 459 00:26:10,250 --> 00:26:12,875 Did you guys rob an Asgardian construction worker? 460 00:26:13,958 --> 00:26:14,958 Yeah. 461 00:26:15,458 --> 00:26:16,917 All right, let's do this. 462 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,500 (MEN GRUNTING) 463 00:26:21,292 --> 00:26:22,792 (MEN GRUNTING) 464 00:26:26,833 --> 00:26:27,833 Sorry. 465 00:26:28,292 --> 00:26:29,500 (GROANS) 466 00:26:33,542 --> 00:26:34,833 (CROOK SCREAMS) 467 00:26:36,042 --> 00:26:37,833 MALE VILLAIN: Okay, bad idea, bad idea. 468 00:26:37,917 --> 00:26:39,083 -Fall back! -CROOK: Go, go, go! 469 00:26:42,250 --> 00:26:45,417 Okay, fellas, I admit that did not go exactly as I imagined it. 470 00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:46,875 Thunderball, did you get it? 471 00:26:46,958 --> 00:26:51,917 No. Once she turned into She-Hulk, I couldn't pierce that nasty green skin. 472 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,042 MALE VILLAIN: Damn it. Boss is gonna be mad. 473 00:26:54,125 --> 00:26:55,333 (SIGHS) 474 00:28:54,375 --> 00:28:55,958 (PHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE) 475 00:28:56,333 --> 00:28:58,458 Hi. There's my new favorite client. 476 00:28:59,250 --> 00:29:01,333 Just... Just your signature there. 477 00:29:02,125 --> 00:29:04,792 And then just initial. Good. 478 00:29:04,875 --> 00:29:06,500 And initials up here. 479 00:29:08,208 --> 00:29:09,708 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 480 00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:13,667 (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 481 00:29:14,958 --> 00:29:16,042 Huh. 482 00:29:23,625 --> 00:29:26,208 Oh, you are way more fun than my last lawyer. 483 00:29:26,292 --> 00:29:29,208 -I will kill for you, Megan Thee Stallion. -Dial it back.