Remember, beach buddies,
report violence before you retaliate.
Fuck.
Remind me why we didn't go to Disneyland again?
You ain't got Disneyland money.
Park Hoppers cost $900 apiece right now.
And I love my little brother, but not that much.
All five of us, that's a Gucci bag.
Uncle Vince... - I am not your uncle, nigga.
Are we gonna see Dude?
You know Dude not real, right? What?
Yeah. Just a nigga in a suit, like Steve Harvey.
Can I get some chicken?
Do you have chicken money?
Okay, everybody, put your headphones on.
I'mma need you to relax with the bullshit today.
- What bullshit? - Your bullshit.
Don't play dumb. It's Dee Dee's birthday, and he look up to you.
Psst!
Dee Dee a bitch.
And you would know that if you loved your brother for real.
Got him out here begging for chicken.
Uh-uh, hold up.
This ain't no regular fried chicken.
So act the fuck right, or I'mma whup that ass.
Welcome to Surf City. Dive into the fun. Surf's up!
Let's get this shit over with. It's gonna be a long day.
The water park is now closed.
Wait, Dee Dee. Let me put your birthday pin on.
Rest in peace to all those who lost their lives during the tragedy.
Can you get a birthday pin from the information center?
Come on, let's take a photo.
Like, it don't move at all. Like, when you get the...
Excuse me. It don't move at all...
Ooh!
Uh-uh, hold on.
Can I help you?
- I need a birthday pin. - We on break.
So, if I get a set, I don't really wanna wear it together because...
I don't want to mix them together either.
Is it for you?
Do it matter?
Yeah, it do. We only give pins to kids. And you grown as hell.
Give me a fucking pin.
Don't do that.
Show us the kid.
That's your baby?
No. He a Make-A-Wish.
What's your name?
Hey, don't forget to try our world-famous fried chicken.
Excuse-- - Hate you niggas.
We can go in the back.
Wait till I clock out. Don't come back.
Okay, here we go. Everyone say, "Cheese."
Thank you! I'll be in the car.
Get in the picture.
Children must be accompanied by adults of the same ethnic background.
Get the fuck off me.
Okay, everybody, nice and close together.
One, two, three, smile!
Hey, what's up with Dude? What you mean?
I feel like he's staring at us.
You can't even see his eyes.
Actually, let's get him in the picture.
Just... Just wait.
Dude!
Now it's time for rides! Yeah!
Move, nigga! Fuck you!
Fuck you too, bitch! - Get the fuck out the way!
My stomach hurt. When are we eating?
Uh, didn't you feed everybody before we got here?
No. I fed Deshaun.
Why wouldn't you feed everybody?
I don't know the niggas. Or they dietary restrictions at that.
Shit, will it matter? We can't eat here? You wanted chicken, right?
Yeah, but the line was wrapped around the corner when we passed it.
Maybe they won't ask again.
We want chicken! We want chicken! We want chicken!
I wanted a french fries.
We don't have french fry money. Okay, I know it's not the best,
but I had to save every penny just to get us in here.
So we're gonna make do.
Excuse me.
Nigga.
Do we look homeless to you?
I don't need your money.
Next!
Let me get, uh, some--
Dark or white meat?
- Dark meat. - We outta dark meat.
I'll take some white meat, then.
Hey, Miguel. We got any white meat back there?
We outta that too.
So, what do y'all got?
Look, motherfucker, I'mma need you to keep this line moving.
If you wanna eat, you gotta come back and get some of that dinner chicken.
Hmm.
What's up, loc?
Hey, tell Mookie to tap in with me.
Wait. Is that chicken?
Hey, cuz! We ain't got no chicken for you!
That back there, that's my deep fryer.
That mean it's my chicken.
And that is my nigga, nigga.
Yeah, okay.
Next!
Yeah? Where are you?
If you're having issues with phone reception,
there's nothing we can do for you. Sincere apologies.
Hey.
What's up?
You lookin' for chicken?
You know where it's at?
There might be another restaurant.
Allegedly.
"Allegedly"?
Follow the yellow brick road.
- You know where Splash Town at, right? - Yeah, yeah.
You're gonna walk all the way past it.
After a few minutes, you'll see the carousel.
Keep going. Eventually, you'll see a dark tunnel.
You walk up it, not down it.
It's gonna be right there, next to Ocean Madness.
Red door.
Appreciate that.
Careful over there, Vince.
Fuck it.
How you doing, bro?
Whatever, man. Let me get, um, two 20-piece dinners with Tidal Tots.
And, um, do that come with the biscuits?
You right, bro. Yeah, add the biscuits. Fuck it.
And, um, a lemonade.
No coleslaw, please.
That's expensive.
Stop the ride! I wanna get off!
What's wrong, Jeremy?
My granny ain't give me no money.
Don't worry about it. Get whatever you want. Okay?
Ooh!
Excuse me. How you doing?
It's my little brother's birthday, and... Deshaun, come here.
...and I seen on y'all website
that y'all offer a discount for such occasions,
and I was just wondering how I go about doing that.
Dee Dee, show him your pin.
What? Fuck no. Y'all niggas is stealing.
Stealing?
Yeah. - Boy, ain't nobody gotta steal nothing.
Okay, well, I see little T'Challa over there stealin',
and I see the fat-ass one stealin' too. Y'all lucky I don't call security.
First of all, ain't no security at janky-ass Surf City.
Second, why would I be stealing $10 T-shirts, nigga? I ain't broke.
Bitch is broke.
'Cause if you weren't broke, you'd be at Disneyland.
Now, get the fuck outta my shop.
Nah, you got the right one. Come on, y'all!
- Whoa, you gonna pay for that shit! - Fuck you! We ain't payin' for shit!
And I'mma have my nigga come and fuck yo ass up!
- Your nigga? - Vince Staples!
Who the fuck is Vince Staples?
Hey, yo. Who the fuck is Vince Staples?
Oh, hello, good sir!
Charlotte, it's happening!
Charlotte!
Thank you.
Excuse me, but it's... it's been a while.
But we are so happy to have you join us on such a wondrous occasion.
What... What is your name, sir?
Vince.
Vince, do you believe in magic?
No. No?
Well, trust me, after tonight, you will.
Magic is one of mankind's oldest mysteries.
Houdini, Copperfield, Christ!
For centuries, we have amazed,
entertained,
and forced mankind to think outside of the box.
Do I have any volunteers?
Charlotte, come!
My lovely assistant, Charlotte.
Charlotte, uh, she's been having a little bit of a stomach problem lately,
isn't that true, Charlotte?
But don't worry, Vince. I'm going to fix it.
Charlotte, please, do me a favor.
Will you lay down, put your head over there, and your feet over there?
Vince, I'm sorry to say this,
but it looks like we're going to have to operate
with an electric saw...
...designed to cut wood.
I'm going to simply take this little stockade
through which the blade will pass,
place it over Charlotte.
All right, here we go.
At the count of three, we shall begin.
One, two, three!
Here we go, Charlotte!
Charlotte, hallelujah!
You are healed!
No, please, I need this! Please!
Many people have died doing the next trick that I'm about to perform.
Oh, yes, it is banned in many countries,
but here, tonight, in this park,
it will be done.
It is simply called...
the Catch.
I like when they have, like, them pineapple bowls,
and they put the rice-- The pineapple bowls, that's different.
I'm so-- - Hi, hello. I need to speak to a manager.
Welcome to Surf City. Dive into fun.
Ooh, she mad.
- Mm-hmm, real mad. Can we help you?
Yes. I was racially profiled by a nigga in the gift shop.
Fighting is prohibited on park grounds.
Girl, that's impossible.
Excuse me? Black people can't be racist.
That part. Racism is a social construct backed by systematic oppression,
and we simply do not have the power.
No, we don't.
Plus, he said you was looking at him with white gaze.
Mmm. She do look a little ambiguous.
Trying to shoplift.
Girl, like Wynona Ryder.
I need to speak to a manager right motherfucking now.
We on break.
So, what brings you here?
Nothin' special, just a birthday.
Do you love her?
Yeah, well, it's not her birthday. It's, uh...
Her little brother's. Dee Dee.
So cute.
You know, I've been here for a very long time.
I've seen a lot of people.
A lot of lust. Lot of hate.
But not much true love.
Love is the beginning and ending of everything.
And if you look hard enough, you'll find what you're searching for.
Or what's searching for you.
Come on, Deshaun! Yeah, come on!
No!
- That was fun. - Go, it'll be fun!
I'm afraid.
Will you ride it with me?
Mmm...
I'm not messing with the Drowning Dragon, little bro.
Vince gonna ride with me?
He probably would, but we can't reach Vince right now.
Is Vince okay?
Don't worry about him, 'cause he fasho ain't worried about us.
Hi!
Hands up and scream!
Deja!
No more locked doors!
Down! Down! Down!
Ooh, shit! Wait, wait, wait--
Hello?
Could I get hot sauce?
Then give me all of it, nigga!
Assalamu alaikum!
Merry Ramadan to all those who worship.
Be sure to grab a sundown snack at the halal cart.
Where the fuck you been?
Bitch, you done left me for dead!
Who is you raising your voice at?!
Got me running around a theme park for some motherfucking chicken!
- I don't... - You got all this money...
I got choked out, stomped out, packed out, choked out again...
I lost 100 dollars!
My favorite shoes! ...like I'm broke!
You know you steal!
I'll burn this whole shit down!