-Yoshi is a delightful boy. -I knew it!
We need you to tell us our son's delightful?
We're not paying for compliments. What's wrong with him?
Well, I'm seeing ADD, dyslexia, Executive Functioning Disorder.
Executive what what?
Never gave him enough attention, now he has a deficit.
Well, hold on.
No, no, this is not because of anything you did.
This is the way Yoshi's brain is built. It's nobody's fault.
Things don't happen for no reason. It can't be nobody's fault.
Well, there is a rare disorder that comes from being exposed
-to certain germs as an infant… -Germs?
…and presents in adolescence as a cluster of symptoms.
Lack of spatial awareness, distractibility, poor inhibition.
Whoa.
Cool guy.
Oh no!
There's more testing we could do, but the treatment would be the same.
So the only reason would be if you wanted an excuse to blame yourselves.
-I don't think that's-- -What kind of germs?
They're calling it pacifier shirt syndrome.
A baby drops a pacifier on the floor,
and rather than sterilize it or get a new one,
the parent wipes it on their shirt and puts it back into the baby's mouth.
Ooh.
Well, if that's how you get this syndrome, there's no way our son has it.
Uh, well, should we maybe get the tests after all,
just to cover all our bases?
What? Why?
If you never wiped a pacifier on your shirt…
Once or twice, I may have
-dropped a pacifier… -You did what?
…and then wiped it on my shirt.
-If only once… -I don't know who I married.
What else you been hiding? Is there a gun in our home?
A second family under the floorboards?
If I had another family, I'd keep them in a different house.
We can't redo our kitchen, but your other family gets a house.
This is not a good time to redo the kitchen. It's a big project.
I wouldn't worry if it was just once or twice.
The exposure we're talking about,
you'd have had to have done it multiple times a day, every day,
for the first year of Yoshi's life.
Maybe we should get the additional testing.
Oh, ya think?
I'm five minutes out.
The situation's getting serious, Yoshi.
Make that two.
Ham. Ham, ham. Ham for you.
Ham for you. There's a ham!
You get a ham. You get a ham. You get a ham.
Ugh!
All right.
Me and you, man.
Argh!
Mom, it happened again.
I don't understand why you can't stay in your old room.
The one with closets and drawers.
Then it's like I moved back with my parents.
I don't want to be a burden. I'll stay on the couch.
We appreciate it.
Yoshi's 22. He needs to start taking things more seriously.
He's 22.
When I was his age, I was planning to backpack around the world.
You can't backpack around the world.
I didn't. That's my point.
My other point is why can't you backpack around the world?
I think you love him too much to see reality.
I love him the right amount, so I see his flaws.
Ugh, I can't sit here doing nothing. I'm calling Karen Getelman.
It's 10:00 at night!
Like anybody could sleep knowing my baby is in crisis.
Because of the oceans! That's why you can't backpack around the world.
Know what I had to do to get you this job?
I had to listen to Karen Getelman kvetch about her cat's mental health issues
for 45 minutes.
Don't squander this opportunity.
The opportunity to temp at a sewing machine parts factory.
-I thought so. -An opportunity
-to get you out of the house. -Uh-huh.
To meet new people. Build your confidence.
I already have confidence.
Why?
I know there's something I'm great at. I just need to find it.
While we all wait for that day to come, you're going to work.
On your way, pick up coffee and Danish for everybody so you can--
-You mean "Danishes"? -The plural of Danish is Danish.
Ugh!
Ow! Oh, no! Oh, no! No! No, no, no!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm still not used to how big my car is.
-I'll buy you a new coffee. -Thanks, mister. Wait.
Are you wearing flip-flops? With a suit?
-What kind of magic man are you? -My own boss, so I pick the dress code.
Wow. Ever wear your clothes backwards?
No.
What about where it's like the right side of you is a man
and the left side is a sexy lady, and you have a conversation like,
"Hello." "Hello." "Come here often?"
"I'm married." "I don't see a ring."
"Couldn't afford one. My husband works at the smelting plant."
"You must get lonely."
"I do."
"Oh no! He's back!"
"Bang, bang! You didn't see nothing!"
-I like you. -What's not to like? I'm delightful.
Hey, would you ever…
No. You wouldn't be interested.
-What? -It's not for you.
-Don't wanna waste your time. -My time's worthless!
Okay. But first, I need you to get in my car, put on this blindfold,
and not ask any questions.
I can't even think of any questions!
This is where we make the TAMIT tubes.
The what tubes?
T-A-M-I-T.
There's a mattress in there.
In where? In there? A mattress?
A mattress.
There's a mattress in there?
In there!
TWAMIT! There was a mattress in there!
How would you like to… No, I shouldn't.
You're a nine-to-five, closed-shoe kind of guy.
No, no, no. You don't know me at all! My mom made me wear these.
You are about to be so in the right place at the right time,
because today… I really shouldn't do this.
Come on! Just do it!
I'm offering you an opportunity
to get in on the "There's a Mattress in There" soft launch.
Pun very much intended.
Is the pun soft, or is the pun launch?
The pun
is both.
Where are your shoes?
Gone forever!
What happened to our bed?
Ladies and gentlemen, what would you say if I told you
there was a mattress in there?
Well, there is.
There is what?
A mattress. In there. No pun intended.
None taken.
Go, mattress!
Okay.
And if someone already has a mattress, for example, us, what would the point be?
This would be for instead.
If you didn't.
Eh. It is interesting.
Well, I'm about to show you something 300 times as interesting.
To the garage!
You got 300?
How did you even get all these here?
Danny Wegbreit.
Schwoopers!
-I rented a van! -Wonderful.
All my friends got rid of their fake IDs when they turned 21,
and I thought, what if I need to rent a van someday?
You also need a credit card, and I have eight.
What if I need to get my car out?
-Where would you need to go? -To work, at the university.
It's called a career. Something adults have.
This is so much better. I'm going to sell these tubes.
Don't you see? The future is tubes.
-Aah! -Oh. Um… Huh.
You got a ladder in one of those tubes?
If I could explain it the way it was explained to me…
-There was a man in flip-flops-- -Enough.
Everything's going back in the van.
You're going to get your money back. Elliott, you drive.
I don't trust that kid to operate heavy machinery.
He-he-hey.
Uh. Oh, it keeps going.
I guess Mom's probably right.
I know it's stupid, just like everything I think is cool.
Why is it the only things that make sense to me
are the things that don't make any sense?
Oh!
Listen, I think you should go for it.
Really?
When I was your age, I wanted to backpack around the world,
but it wasn't practical.
I don't want you to wonder for the rest of your life
about what could've happened.
Exactly. This is something I have to do for myself.
Should we check with Mom first?
Don't worry. I will handle your mother.
Would you look at that?
It's the postcard from our trip to Paris.
French food. Not for me.
You remember how we had to change hotels?
Mm, because of the goose that landed in front of the hotel's door.
It was a sign from my Aunt Sylvia.
She was telling us not to stay there, and she was right.
Place burned down four years later.
Right. You won't believe this,
but while Yoshi and I were about to return the TAMIT tubes,
it happened again!
I don't believe it.
A goose landed on the hood of the van.
My Aunt Sylvia doesn't want Yoshi to give up on his business idea.
Hello, what else could it possibly mean?
Maybe that my husband thinks he's married an idiot.
Huh? No.
You're a worse liar than you are a charades partner.
That's saying something after the fiasco with the Rosenzweigs.
I wasn't playing charades. I had a bee in my shirt.
But, listen, I really believe Yoshi can make something with this business.
No, you don't.
I don't. But I believe he believes it, and I think that is worth nurturing.
So nurture. Nurture your brains out. I'll be over here in the real world.
A goose. Everyone knows my Aunt Sylvia only comes to me as geese.
You look tired.
Hey, you don't want this!
You wouldn't be interested. Where are you going?
Hey! Get a load of this.
No!
Whoa!
Ah!
I haven't sold one tube. If I could just sell one.
Then you'd sell 299 more?
Yes!
Explain again, what is so special about these things?
It's innovation meets disruption, Dad. It's mattress meets tube.
Okay, but tell me why you, Yoshi, think this is a good product.
Because I would have wanted one.
When I was bouncing around from town to town,
all I wanted was something permanent.
Some place to lay my head I could call my own.
Besides, who wants to carry a full mattress up a flight of stairs?
I sure don't. That's the main reason I haven't left my boyfriend.
That's what I'm talking about.
If she had a mattress in a tube, she could go anywhere.
Are you telling me there's a mattress in there?
Yeah, but I'm in the middle of a conversation with my dad right now.
-Oh, I'm so sorry. -Psst. Hey. Hey.
What were we talking about? Sports?
Mm!
Oh, wait. Come back! Come back!
Whoa. What was that?
I think that was you making a sale.
When they told me that I couldn't do it I just went and did it
Look at all these beautiful things. Reminders of our past. Our heritage.
Can you imagine how many more memories we'd have today
if our relatives were able to carry their beds in tubes?
I think there would've been way less complaining on boats
coming from the old country.
Not no complaining, I know our relatives,
but certainly less.
Ah!
-Thank you very much, young man. -Have fun at Burning Man!
When they told me that I couldn't do it I just went and did it
I did it. There are no longer any mattresses in there.
-Amazing! -I always knew you could.
So what happens now?
Think there's still a spot at the sewing machine factory?
They'd be lucky to have you.
Wait. You don't want to keep doing this? You're so good at it.
I guess I could order more. You really believe in me, huh?
What's to believe?
You don't have to believe Fermat's Last Theorem
if you've seen proof.
Ha! Suck it, Fermat.
Hey, hey, hey, Yoshi. Of course, we are very proud of you,
But as they say in the mattress biz,
sometimes you gotta know when to call it a night.
We do say that in the biz.
Well, you got yourself this far.
What do you think you should do next?
Huh.
When I'm looking for clarity,
I ask myself, what would Mark Zuckerberg do?
Ehh.
Ideas take root on college campuses. That's where the young people are.
Lucky for me, I know a guy who works at a university.
You wanna sell these things at Mid-Bay?
I want to sell to Mid-Bay.
A tube in every dorm room.
Are you crazy? You can't ask your father for that.
You don't mix business and family.
Need I remind you of the Passover candy debacle of 2002?
No. Yoshi, I can get you a meeting with the dean,
but you'd better have one hell of a pitch.
Thank you so much, Dad. I won't let you down.
Wait, what?
Hey, if you don't make this sale, it's okay.
-It is not okay. -Of course it is.
No. If I don't make this sale, I'm in real trouble, Dad,
because I already put an order in for 10,000 tubes.
Ten thousand? What? Why?
I had to! If any part of me thought that I could fail, I would fail.
This way, I can't leave that room without a sale.
This isn't Cheap Trick karaoke.
"Surrender" is not an option!
What?
We're not interested.
Oh.
-Would you like me to tell you about them… -I understand.
There's a mattress in there. The dorms at MBU already have mattresses.
Don't want to let him do his presentation?
No need. Maybe I'm not interested.
-MBU. Middling, Boring, Ugh. -Did you come to insult me?
I don't go to the monkey house to insult the monkeys.
I came here as a courtesy to my father, but this concept begs for Stanford.
I'm seeing them tomorrow.
Send them my regards.
Although, there is something cool about not being cool.
That's the Mid-Bay way.
Let Stanford have their tech geniuses and their fancy prison experiments.
This isn't a disruption. It's a mattress.
A mattress you can take wherever you go, no matter how far from home.
Huh.
Home.
That's what this place is for thousands of students.
But what if they could take a little bit of home with them when they left?
You're saying they take the mattresses with them?
You give each freshman a mattress.
They carry it with them all four years,
and then leave with a tether that always ties them back to their time here.
It's an intimate reminder.
Eh, it's not fancy.
It's just something that says, "MBU. You're here to learn."
"We'll handle
the rest."
You should have seen this kid.
He was like Michael Jordan in there.
You mean he had the raw sexual appeal of 15 normal men?
-No, I just mean he did a really good job. -I can't explain it.
Suddenly everything made sense to me. I could just read this lady.
And to think,
none of this would have happened if I hadn't told you to go to that bakery.
We sign contracts tomorrow, so dinner's on me.
Sparkling water for the table.
Oh my gosh.
Who's ready for the best Burning Man ever!?
Uh.
What is this?
Oh-oh.
Ooh.
Uh.
Ah!
So it's not a great time to be in the TAMIT tube business.
I'd hate to be MBU after they sign that contract, right?
What?
I don't think they're gonna sign the contract.
Oh, uh, you think they heard about all the bad stuff?
-Uh-huh. -And that could be a deal-breaker,
that the tubes sometimes go off on their own?
I think it might be. Yeah.
Oh. That's okay. So I've got a few more tubes to offload.
I've sold them before. I can do it again, right?
Mm-hm.
Oh boy.
Oof.
The tubes have taken over our home.
We need to have a talk with him.
You always mean me when you say "we."
You think I should talk with him.
So you get to be the nice, supportive parent,
and I have to be the mean one who tells my boy his dream is stupid,
even though I knew all along it was stupid. I knew it.
And I derive no pleasure from being right, but I knew it, and I kept my mouth shut.
You kept your mouth shut?
Elliott.
Ah. Think. Think.
Ugh. Are you kidding?
Gah!
Huh.
Dad? I got it.
Yoshi? Is that you?
Over here. I cracked the…
Dad? Hey, are you in here?
I'm on the sofa.
Ah! Ah-ha!
Mattresses in aluminum cans!
We'll call it, "Can-A-Mattress-Fit-In-There?"
I just need cash to get started.
I don't think you should spend any more money on this project.
I just need $100,000 or so.
You tried something, and it didn't work. Okay, so now it's time to move on.
Move on? I can't!
I think you… can.
You're asking me to give up on my dreams? Okay, sure, yeah.
No, that makes sense, because that's what you do, right?
Like your dream of backpacking around the world?
Yosh, that's enough.
But I'm not like you, Dad. I can't just make myself small.
Small? I have bent over backwards to indulge you,
and this is the respect I get?
All I have ever done is support you.
I stuck with you through all this farkakte, farshtunkene mattress mishegoss.
But no more!
Look, I could probably just make it work with $40,000, or 45…
Get these ticking time bombs out of here!
They're not time bomb… Oh no!
Oh, oh, oh! Ah!
I'm taking your mother to dinner tonight,
and all this had better be out of the house by the time we get back,
or you're out of the house.
Schwooper!
Danny, I knew you'd come through.
I got a great deal on this rental, man.
They tried to upsell me on insurance, and I said, "Dude,
why would I need your insurance? I don't even have my own."
I need to move these to a storage unit until I figure out a permanent solution.
Bro, I got you.
Listen, I know a guy who knows a guy
who has a side hustle in facilitating dark web arms deals.
Arms deals?
There are freedom fighters overseas who want to buy TAMIT tubes
to convert them into pressurized missile launchers.
My tubes used for war? How could I sleep at night?
Well, you could keep a couple mattresses for yourself.
Okay, easy.
Easy.
Goodbye, old friends.
Is that all of them?
Wha!
Huh.
No, no! No! No! Oh!
Oh no! No!
Whoa!
Ah!
No! Oh, no!
No, no!
Ah!
-Ohh. -No, no!
That's not good.
Uhh…
Oh. Oh, man.
-Oh. -Hey!
The back wall of the garage. There's a sight for sore eyes.
What?
What?!
I'm going to bed.
My bed.
I'm.
I'm sorry.
-I know. -I destroyed everything.
And the way I talked to you…
I don't know what's wrong with me, Dad.
I think I'm broken.
You're not broken.
All our china is broken.
When I heard Bob Dylan had gone electric at the Newport Folk Festival,
I was so upset.
It was not the Dylan I knew.
I didn't understand it.
But part of what I love about Dylan is that
I'm not gonna always understand him.
So if him letting me down sometimes is going to be part of it,
then… then, well, then that's… that's part of it.
Hm?
You get what I'm trying to say?
Not really.
Yeah, well, I'm not entirely sure either.
But my point is, I'm never going to stop loving Bob Dylan.
So what you're saying is, don't think twice, it's all right?
That is absolutely not what I'm saying.
But, y'know, your mother has always wanted to re-do the kitchen, so maybe
this is an opportunity.
Welcome to the family business
You be the witness This is not ordinary
Go and make yourself at home
-Go and make your -Make your!
Go and make yourself at home
-Go and make your -Make your!
Go and make yourself at
Make yourself at Make yourself at home!
Welcome to the family business
You be the witness This is not ordinary
One day we're all gonna miss this And we'll reminisce this
'Cause everything's temporary
And that's okay 'Cause everybody's here tonight
So let's all say We'll never break the family ties e this