1
00:00:16,041 --> 00:00:17,666
Oh God, okay.

2
00:00:19,375 --> 00:00:20,916
Um…

3
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,125
Hm.

4
00:00:25,041 --> 00:00:26,916
I'm sorry, I normally don't do this.

5
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,333
-No need to start now.
-But this is the express lane, so…

6
00:00:30,416 --> 00:00:31,291
Uh-huh.

7
00:00:31,375 --> 00:00:34,291
It's 12 items or less, so…

8
00:00:34,375 --> 00:00:36,083
I've got around… 12 items.

9
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:37,000
Sure.

10
00:00:38,875 --> 00:00:41,916
Just, it's not,
"Around 12 items or less," is it?

11
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,208
Are you kidding me?

12
00:00:43,291 --> 00:00:46,291
Did I miss the part that says,
"12 or less, or more? Up to you."

13
00:00:46,375 --> 00:00:49,500
Maybe you missed where it says,
"Mind your own business."

14
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,791
-I'm in a hurry.
-Oh, you're in a hurry.

15
00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:54,958
I am making
pomegranate chicken for 20 people.

16
00:00:55,041 --> 00:00:57,500
Some of us have actual
Rosh Hashanah meals to cook.

17
00:00:57,583 --> 00:01:00,458
I see you volunteered
for apples and honey duty.

18
00:01:00,541 --> 00:01:03,583
-Ooh. Don't throw your back out.
-I was delegated apples and honey.

19
00:01:03,666 --> 00:01:06,916
-My mom doesn't trust me in the kitchen.
-Don't take your mommy issues out on me.

20
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,541
For your information, my mom is right
to not trust me in the kitchen,

21
00:01:10,625 --> 00:01:13,250
so that's not even
what my mommy issues are about.

22
00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:16,250
Don't assume you know my deal 'cause
I'm buying the correct number of items.

23
00:01:16,333 --> 00:01:18,666
I'm not assuming anything.
You're announcing your whole deal.

24
00:01:18,750 --> 00:01:22,291
But congratulations on getting invited
to a Rosh Hashanah dinner.

25
00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:25,291
-Shana Tova, by the way.
-How do you know I'm not hosting?

26
00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:27,375
-Shana Tova to you.
-I think the line's moving.

27
00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:31,125
-We're in the middle of a conversation!
-Can you chill out for one second?

28
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:32,208
Are you Jewish?

29
00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:35,708
What? You keeping a list?
Hot Black Jews in the Oakland area?

30
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,666
Um… No.

31
00:01:37,750 --> 00:01:41,083
Maybe you should make a list
of hot white Jews.

32
00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:45,541
Huh. I don't know if you're Jew enough
for the hot Jews list.

33
00:01:45,625 --> 00:01:47,500
That honey bear doesn't have a hechsher.

34
00:01:48,583 --> 00:01:50,750
-I see why your mom doesn't trust you.
-Damn it!

35
00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:51,958
Save my place in line?

36
00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:53,916
No.

37
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,250
Yeah, that's fair.

38
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,333
Ugh. These frames are terrible.

39
00:02:48,416 --> 00:02:50,250
I look like Benjamin Franklin.

40
00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:52,041
You mean you look like 100 bucks?

41
00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:54,375
That's a bad amount of money to look like.

42
00:02:54,458 --> 00:02:57,166
Those are my talons!

43
00:02:57,250 --> 00:03:00,083
Vultures don't change clothes.

44
00:03:00,166 --> 00:03:03,166
Yes, they do. They shed their feathers
and grow new ones.

45
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,625
That's snakes.

46
00:03:04,708 --> 00:03:05,708
Walter.

47
00:03:05,791 --> 00:03:08,875
Okay, Ben. No crust and no yolks.

48
00:03:09,958 --> 00:03:13,083
Oh no! I lost Ben.

49
00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:17,208
I guess we can just give
this very specifically prepared sandwich

50
00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:20,333
to The Undeniable Isadora Duncan.

51
00:03:20,416 --> 00:03:22,250
Okay, let's go. Sweatshirts.

52
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:27,000
I'll wear a sweatshirt
if you let me watch one Papa Troll.

53
00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:31,458
Oh, Walter. You know
our internet doesn't get Papa Troll.

54
00:03:31,541 --> 00:03:33,416
-Ugh!
-Did music class get moved to Monday?

55
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,750
I can take them.
You have the franchise meeting.

56
00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:38,083
No! That's Friday.
Monday's the entertainment meeting,

57
00:03:38,166 --> 00:03:40,916
-and you know Noah won't do his damn job.
-I gotcha.

58
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,333
Good. I have to cut
the animatronics budget in half.

59
00:03:43,416 --> 00:03:48,208
I can't imagine a BJ BananaFingers
without BJ's Barnacle Bandstand.

60
00:03:48,291 --> 00:03:49,916
That clam can really rap.

61
00:03:51,208 --> 00:03:52,375
Why isn't anyone yelling?

62
00:03:53,375 --> 00:03:55,291
-Oh!
-Have you lost your damn minds?

63
00:03:55,375 --> 00:03:58,250
Don't put sunscreen
on The Undeniable Isadora Duncan!

64
00:03:58,333 --> 00:04:00,875
-I don't want her to get cancer.
-I do!

65
00:04:00,958 --> 00:04:03,791
Should we skip this thing?
I like Lekh L'kha better anyway.

66
00:04:03,875 --> 00:04:04,916
Lekh, Lekh, Lekh…

67
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,625
That's like a cat with a hairball.

68
00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:09,333
I thought we wanted our kids
to get a Jewish education.

69
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,833
Yeah, but hairball school's
40 minutes away.

70
00:04:11,916 --> 00:04:16,083
Altman Academy is literally on the way
to CVS where they sell sunscreen,

71
00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:19,416
which we'll need because
Walter is now eating all of ours. Walter!

72
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,666
It's squirrel brains!

73
00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:31,708
-Ben, look!
-Walter, can we not today?

74
00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:35,666
Okay, garden. This place is fancy.

75
00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:37,833
For 30 grand a year,
we could buy our own farm.

76
00:04:37,916 --> 00:04:40,583
So Altman is too expensive,
but Lekh L'kha is too far?

77
00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:42,041
Hey. Are you a vulture?

78
00:04:42,125 --> 00:04:46,375
And half cheetah, and half sorcerer!
I'm really fast at spells.

79
00:04:46,458 --> 00:04:48,458
Oh! And look at this sunflower.

80
00:04:48,541 --> 00:04:50,291
-Hello, Mr. Sunflower.
-Hi.

81
00:04:50,375 --> 00:04:52,208
A talking sunflower.

82
00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:55,708
-It was me.
-No, it was Benjamin.

83
00:04:55,791 --> 00:04:59,208
Pablo Luna, Head of Child Wellness,
and don't blame me for the title.

84
00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:00,791
Shira Schwooper, Kendra Hooper,

85
00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:02,750
and Walter and Benjamin Hooper-Schwooper.

86
00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:05,833
Super-duper.
I know picking a school is a big decision,

87
00:05:05,916 --> 00:05:08,333
but I believe we've created
an environment that shepherds

88
00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:11,250
kind, creative, well-adjusted humans.

89
00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:13,750
And math, I promise. They also learn math.

90
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,375
-Would you like to see the school?
-Yeah.

91
00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:38,333
Hm-hm!

92
00:05:47,166 --> 00:05:48,458
Yes! Whoo!

93
00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:56,208
So that's pretty much the tour.

94
00:05:56,291 --> 00:05:57,708
Anything we didn't cover?

95
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,416
No, we covered quite a lot.

96
00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:01,833
Great. So the application
is on our website.

97
00:06:01,916 --> 00:06:03,333
Make sure you get it in early.

98
00:06:03,416 --> 00:06:07,416
We usually get about 80 applications,
and we have around 12 slots this year.

99
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,541
Around 12, or 12?

100
00:06:09,625 --> 00:06:12,125
Oh, excuse me.
I have other families to welcome,

101
00:06:12,208 --> 00:06:14,416
but see you at
the prospective parents potluck?

102
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:15,916
Pardon? A potluck?

103
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,875
It's just a chance for us
to get to know your family.

104
00:06:18,958 --> 00:06:21,041
It's all on the website, but no pressure.

105
00:06:21,125 --> 00:06:22,708
Wow, triplets!

106
00:06:22,791 --> 00:06:24,875
We have a problem.
I'm in love with this place.

107
00:06:24,958 --> 00:06:28,250
I wish I could go here.
Like, not as a kid. Starting now.

108
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:30,125
We have to show up to that potluck.

109
00:06:30,208 --> 00:06:32,166
Okay. Altman Academy.

110
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:33,541
Calendar. Potluck sign-up.

111
00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:35,958
Verify email. Accept, accept, accept.

112
00:06:36,041 --> 00:06:38,250
"Click only the pictures of bisexuals"?

113
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:40,708
How am I supposed to…
Oh, definitely this guy, right?

114
00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:42,125
Where are your glasses?

115
00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:44,000
It says "Click the bicycles."

116
00:06:44,083 --> 00:06:45,000
Oh, I'm in. I'm in.

117
00:06:45,083 --> 00:06:48,750
There's a sign-up thing. Okay.
"Veggie side," "savory dip," "napkins."

118
00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:49,750
Can we do napkins?

119
00:06:49,833 --> 00:06:51,291
Can we do napkins?

120
00:06:51,375 --> 00:06:52,541
They only have 12 slots.

121
00:06:52,625 --> 00:06:54,750
-We want two!
-But "napkin" says we're busy.

122
00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:58,291
-We have full-time jobs. We don't need--
-We need to impress these people.

123
00:06:58,375 --> 00:07:02,041
Shira, we're a lesbian couple
with biracial Jewish sons.

124
00:07:02,125 --> 00:07:03,458
We're impressive enough.

125
00:07:03,541 --> 00:07:07,791
Are you kidding, Kendra? Look around.
It's like frickin' Bridgerton over here.

126
00:07:10,708 --> 00:07:12,250
-I'm signing up for entree.
-Shira.

127
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:15,541
They have to admit the entree people.
The entree people are go-getters.

128
00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:18,666
-I know you're busy. I'll handle it.
-You're going to cook?

129
00:07:19,666 --> 00:07:20,625
-Walter.
-Benjamin.

130
00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:27,250
So the whole bat mitzvah
was monster-themed.

131
00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:30,833
They gave out Dracula teeth,
and the fruit punch looked like blood.

132
00:07:30,916 --> 00:07:33,166
And there was a guy in a King Kong suit.

133
00:07:33,250 --> 00:07:34,791
A human-sized King Kong?

134
00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:36,333
I know. That's just a gorilla.

135
00:07:36,416 --> 00:07:37,541
Ugh. So cringe.

136
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,291
You saying "cringe" is cringe.

137
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:41,791
Is Sarah, like, into monster movies?

138
00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:44,250
No! She likes unboxing videos.

139
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:47,416
A better bat mitzvah theme
would have been "unboxing videos."

140
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,625
No, a better theme
would have been "bat mitzvah."

141
00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:53,000
That's already a theme. You don't need
to add another thing on top of it.

142
00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:55,083
It's like an ice cream-themed
baked potato.

143
00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:56,666
It's a lot of money to spend

144
00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:58,916
just to tell your daughter,
"We don't know you."

145
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,541
That was not a bat mitzvah party
with a monster theme.

146
00:08:01,625 --> 00:08:05,791
What you attended was a monster party
featuring a subtle mist of bat mitzvah.

147
00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:08,875
Oh, I wasn't there.
I just looked at the pictures online.

148
00:08:08,958 --> 00:08:10,208
Wait, you didn't go?

149
00:08:10,291 --> 00:08:12,208
Sarah and I aren't really friends anymore.

150
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:13,833
No? Since when?

151
00:08:13,916 --> 00:08:14,875
Bus.

152
00:08:23,750 --> 00:08:25,291
Hey, who died?

153
00:08:25,375 --> 00:08:27,750
Uh… Still Mom.

154
00:08:27,833 --> 00:08:30,625
I'm trying to remember
that sort of good casserole Mom made.

155
00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:32,875
I have to bring an entree to a potluck.

156
00:08:32,958 --> 00:08:34,791
Maybe it was a mushroom casserole?

157
00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:37,708
She made mushroom knishes.
I don't wanna deal with the dough.

158
00:08:37,791 --> 00:08:41,666
Right, the knishes. She always complained
about how hard they were to make.

159
00:08:41,750 --> 00:08:44,625
And we said, "Why make them
if they make you so miserable?"

160
00:08:44,708 --> 00:08:45,958
"They're good knishes, Shira."

161
00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:49,458
"What, I should make something easy?
Only the best for my children."

162
00:08:49,541 --> 00:08:50,500
"For you, I suffer."

163
00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:53,500
Yeah, so forgive me,
I don't want to make the hard knishes.

164
00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:55,333
It sucks that I can't just call her.

165
00:08:55,416 --> 00:08:57,791
When she died, I knew
there'd be no more big moments,

166
00:08:57,875 --> 00:09:01,125
but I wasn't ready for all the small stuff
I'd no longer have access to.

167
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,916
I can't just google,
"What was my mom's easiest recipe?"

168
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,958
If only there was something like wikiFeet,

169
00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:08,666
but not just for famous people,
and not just for feet.

170
00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:11,500
What about zucchini kugel?
It was easy and everyone loved it.

171
00:09:11,583 --> 00:09:12,958
Yoshi ate so much he threw up.

172
00:09:13,041 --> 00:09:15,125
Yeah, then he moved the rug
to cover it up.

173
00:09:15,208 --> 00:09:17,333
Took a month to figure out
what that smell was.

174
00:09:17,416 --> 00:09:18,791
But it was good kugel, right?

175
00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:22,166
-It was. Do you have a food processor?
-I think you have our food processor.

176
00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:24,500
Oh yeah, I think Jen has it.

177
00:09:24,583 --> 00:09:27,000
Avi! That thing costs us, like, 400 bucks.

178
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:30,791
I'm sorry, I must have been distracted
by the devastation of my failed marriage

179
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:32,791
when I was packing kitchen appliances.

180
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:34,083
Big oops on your part.

181
00:09:34,166 --> 00:09:36,041
Jen would have good ideas for you though.

182
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:38,500
She and Mom used to bond over cooking.

183
00:09:38,583 --> 00:09:40,416
Mom and Jen bonded?

184
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,416
Broccoli casserole!

185
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,541
Mom made it when we got invited
to dinner last minute. Ah?

186
00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:47,083
-Yes!
-There you go, Avi.

187
00:09:47,166 --> 00:09:49,541
"When you're invited
'cause someone better canceled,

188
00:09:49,625 --> 00:09:51,125
you make broccoli casserole."

189
00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:53,708
Think Mom would judge me
for making something so easy?

190
00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:57,541
Yes, but… look, she's not here, so…

191
00:09:57,625 --> 00:09:59,666
If she wanted to judge you,
she shouldn't have died.

192
00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:02,250
Yeah, okay. I gotta go.

193
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:03,166
Hey.

194
00:10:03,791 --> 00:10:04,666
You know?

195
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,833
Yeah, I know. You too.

196
00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:15,666
-Can you see my screen?
-Our brand…

197
00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:17,666
-Am I sharing my screen?
-Focus up, people.

198
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:21,291
If we can't square these budgets,
we're talking hundreds of layoffs.

199
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:25,333
Noah, do you have the numbers
on Alvin Orangutan's Fettuccine Explosion?

200
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,666
Noah, I'm not hearing numbers.

201
00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:28,916
Uh, one sec.

202
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,333
We're making knishes!

203
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,791
Uh… Ah!

204
00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:35,750
We?

205
00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:38,208
I'm making my mom's knishes.

206
00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:40,666
They're a big hit. Very impressive.

207
00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:43,916
Knishes say,
"You k'need us in your k'nindergarten."

208
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,208
K'nan't we just get a pizza from Costco?

209
00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:49,750
Costco pizza? This is our boys' education
we're talking about.

210
00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:52,875
I don't think people pay attention
to who brings what to a potluck.

211
00:10:52,958 --> 00:10:56,166
I remember what everybody brings
and judge them about it for years.

212
00:10:56,250 --> 00:11:00,875
I'm still mad about the time Matt and
Cheng showed up with sangria and no cups?

213
00:11:00,958 --> 00:11:03,041
How are we supposed to drink,
Matt and Cheng?

214
00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:04,625
Straight from the bowl? Like dogs?

215
00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:07,583
Okay, but a homemade
savory pastry sounds ambitious

216
00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:09,416
for someone who can't scramble an egg.

217
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,250
I can scramble an egg.

218
00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:13,458
Our smoke detectors
are just too sensitive.

219
00:11:13,541 --> 00:11:15,541
You sure you're up to this?

220
00:11:15,625 --> 00:11:18,250
I've got this.
Mom made knishes all the time.

221
00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:20,000
It couldn't have been that hard.

222
00:11:20,083 --> 00:11:23,541
-Mommy, Ben's hogging the knife!
-Share with your brother, Benjamin.

223
00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:27,625
Okay, let's go do magnet blocks.
Uh, where did you get chocolate?

224
00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:28,875
Mmm… Nature?

225
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:34,541
Okay, I know, The Undeniable
Isadora Duncan, we'll go out in a sec.

226
00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:36,750
Just everybody, just… What?

227
00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:38,166
I did all the same stuff.

228
00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:40,000
Why is mine different? Ah!

229
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,166
Okay, no, no, no!

230
00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:44,000
Look, Noah, the claw machines
are not the problem.

231
00:11:44,083 --> 00:11:47,666
Seems like your whack-a-mole issues
keep popping up.

232
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,875
-Give it back!
-I need it!

233
00:11:49,958 --> 00:11:52,750
This onion is insane.
It's like attacking me.

234
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:54,458
I'm going to dead you!

235
00:11:54,541 --> 00:11:58,166
Walter, we don't dead people.
Can you play something together?

236
00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:00,291
We could play
watching Papa Troll together.

237
00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:01,666
I'll ask Internet.

238
00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:02,791
Still no.

239
00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:04,541
We need a new Internet!

240
00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:06,333
Life is bad!

241
00:12:06,416 --> 00:12:08,208
-Just passing through.
-What?

242
00:12:08,291 --> 00:12:10,916
I have to pop by Jen's real quick
to get my Mix-a-Lot.

243
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,250
I'm mashing when I should be blending.

244
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,250
I mean, can you believe it? Classic Shira.

245
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:17,250
She's a lot, but we love her, that Shira!

246
00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:19,375
You are not driving
all the way to Santa Rosa.

247
00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:21,625
Why not borrow a blender
from the neighbor?

248
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,750
Chris? No. He's so chatty.

249
00:12:23,833 --> 00:12:26,750
If I act neighborly,
he'll be popping by for sugar,

250
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,958
inviting us to crack a Cabernet
like a pervert.

251
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:34,833
Hey, Shira, you are not leaving me
with these kids at bath time.

252
00:12:34,916 --> 00:12:36,541
I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that.

253
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:37,875
I said, "Hey, Shira!"

254
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,791
Fine, yeah, screw the potluck.

255
00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:42,541
We'll find a school easier to get into
and it'll be easy for them.

256
00:12:42,625 --> 00:12:43,708
Would that be so awful?

257
00:12:43,791 --> 00:12:44,958
That would be so awful.

258
00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:48,250
Now I need to go and come back
before the dough goes sour.

259
00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:49,541
Dough doesn't sour.

260
00:12:49,625 --> 00:12:51,500
What about sourdough, Kendra?

261
00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:53,750
Yeah, that's right. Checkmate.

262
00:12:53,833 --> 00:12:55,250
Go get your blender.

263
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:56,500
But while you're at Jen's,

264
00:12:56,583 --> 00:12:59,208
you might want to also get
her divorce lawyer.

265
00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:03,250
It's back here somewhere.

266
00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:05,458
How's the wine biz?

267
00:13:05,541 --> 00:13:09,166
Oh, booming.
2020 was a huge year for drinking alone.

268
00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:11,291
-Ah, found it!
-Thanks.

269
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,958
Hey, did… did you and my mom
used to bond over cooking?

270
00:13:15,041 --> 00:13:17,791
Oh, I don't know if I'd say "bond."

271
00:13:17,875 --> 00:13:19,500
I'd compliment her cooking,

272
00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:21,625
but then she thought
I was really interested,

273
00:13:21,708 --> 00:13:24,625
because her own children
didn't compliment her, which…

274
00:13:24,708 --> 00:13:27,166
is something she mentioned to me
quite a lot.

275
00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:30,708
Can't believe Mom's being passive-
aggressive to me from beyond the grave.

276
00:13:30,791 --> 00:13:32,000
That's real dedication.

277
00:13:32,083 --> 00:13:34,625
Hey, now. There's a compliment.

278
00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:40,250
Stop. Who is this beautiful, amazing,
brilliant, fascinating, fabulous dynamo?

279
00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:41,500
Could it be Hannah?

280
00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:44,208
Aunt Shira.
I didn't know you were coming over.

281
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:47,458
How's my little talented, gorgeous genius?
Are you still in Model UN?

282
00:13:47,541 --> 00:13:49,416
Yeah, but I got Montenegro.

283
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:52,250
Oh, little Montenegro.
They're lucky to have you.

284
00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:55,208
Oh, um, Hannah,
uh, did you pass that resolution?

285
00:13:56,041 --> 00:13:57,750
Mom, I have to study.

286
00:13:59,916 --> 00:14:01,041
Daughters are hard.

287
00:14:07,583 --> 00:14:10,875
We still haven't cut enough losses
to keep the Miami franchise open.

288
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:14,791
Boys. Boys. Boys!

289
00:14:14,875 --> 00:14:16,208
I need 30 minutes.

290
00:14:16,291 --> 00:14:18,000
Just 30 minutes.

291
00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:21,916
I'm putting on Papa Troll.

292
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,125
Our internet doesn't get Papa Troll.

293
00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:26,833
I'm going to do some hacking
so you can watch it just once.

294
00:14:26,916 --> 00:14:32,125
-Ben! Write it down.
-Eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-nine.

295
00:14:32,208 --> 00:14:35,166
Eight, six, seven,
a hundred, a million-hundred.

296
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,708
God forgive me.

297
00:14:37,291 --> 00:14:40,625
Papa Troll, Papa Troll
He rides around on water

298
00:14:40,708 --> 00:14:44,291
Papa Troll, Papa Troll
Has a wife, and son, and daughter

299
00:14:44,375 --> 00:14:48,250
And another daughter and two more sons
And a brother-in-law

300
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:51,833
We're a family
And we assist each other in law

301
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:54,708
Kendra?

302
00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:57,958
What is that noise?

303
00:14:58,041 --> 00:15:01,791
That is the noise of
you said, "I can handle it!"

304
00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:06,416
But I don't know what you think
"I" and "can" and "handle it" mean,

305
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:11,416
because I have spent every moment
of this week doing my full-time job

306
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:14,916
while trying to stop our screaming
children from catching on literal fire,

307
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,333
chopping off their fingers so you could
do your little Top Chef cosplay,

308
00:15:18,416 --> 00:15:21,833
when you knew from the beginning
I didn't have the time,

309
00:15:21,916 --> 00:15:25,666
and now, on top of all that,
I had to put on Papa Troll!

310
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:29,083
Don't you gasp at me!

311
00:15:29,166 --> 00:15:31,166
I should be gasping at you!

312
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:34,958
But I don't have a spare moment!
I have no spare moments for gasping!

313
00:15:35,041 --> 00:15:37,583
Okay, first of all, I am very sorry.

314
00:15:37,666 --> 00:15:39,541
I'm bad and you're great.

315
00:15:39,625 --> 00:15:41,416
Also, I love you.

316
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:44,625
And also-also, I did it. It's over.

317
00:15:48,458 --> 00:15:49,333
Hm.

318
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:52,416
Hey, Shira? This is really good.

319
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,125
I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that.

320
00:15:54,208 --> 00:15:55,291
I said it's good!

321
00:15:55,375 --> 00:15:57,750
-Really?
-Yeah, really. Try it.

322
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,875
Hm.

323
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:03,125
Hm.

324
00:16:03,625 --> 00:16:04,583
Hmm.

325
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:08,916
What are you doing?

326
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:09,833
It's off.

327
00:16:09,916 --> 00:16:10,833
What?

328
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,625
Stop that. Stop, stop, stop.
No, no, no. What are you doing?

329
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:15,875
Don't waste them!

330
00:16:15,958 --> 00:16:19,250
Drop the knish! Shira, put it down!
Down, Shira! Bad Shira!

331
00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:22,958
Shira! Why? What's…
What is wrong with them?

332
00:16:23,666 --> 00:16:25,666
Hm.

333
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,083
They're not my mom's.

334
00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:31,000
Papa Troll!

335
00:16:31,083 --> 00:16:33,250
I'm solving water crimes!

336
00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:36,125
I need Mom's recipe.
I wish I could just call her.

337
00:16:36,208 --> 00:16:37,666
Of course, she wouldn't pick up.

338
00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:40,708
Then she'd send me a passive-aggressive
"Saw you called" text.

339
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,166
Then I'd text, "Can you talk?"

340
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,916
She'd text back,
"I'm very busy, but for you, always,"

341
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,833
and then still not answer when I called.

342
00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:48,958
Then she'd call me
and leave a long voicemail

343
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:51,458
about an article in Hadassah Magazine.
In short--

344
00:16:51,541 --> 00:16:55,208
Oh, don't do that. You can't say
"In short" after already going long.

345
00:16:55,291 --> 00:16:58,875
We need to get into this school.
I have to get them right.

346
00:17:00,291 --> 00:17:02,958
Okay. Where is your mother's recipe?

347
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,583
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Nope.

348
00:17:08,666 --> 00:17:09,708
Hmm.

349
00:17:09,791 --> 00:17:13,250
Do I want big savings
on my next yogurt purchase?

350
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,625
Well, I don't not want big savings
on my next yogurt purchase.

351
00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:20,291
Shira, is everything okay?

352
00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:23,208
Yeah, fine. Do you know
where Mom's recipe book is?

353
00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:24,375
Grandpa!

354
00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:27,666
Hey! Come here, you. Oh no. Wow, so big.

355
00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:30,625
-You could've texted me the recipe.
-I'm no good with phones.

356
00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:34,041
I tried to take a picture, and it made me
drive from Mountain View

357
00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:35,833
to spend a day with my grandchildren!

358
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:37,375
Tell us a math joke.

359
00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:38,291
Here's one.

360
00:17:38,375 --> 00:17:42,166
When I see you boys,
I'm like the mathematical constant, pi.

361
00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:44,250
I love you so much, it's irrational.

362
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,833
You're a pie?

363
00:17:47,916 --> 00:17:50,583
My mom had to
improve every recipe.

364
00:17:50,666 --> 00:17:54,291
"Substitute schmaltz for lard,
bake in big Pyrex."

365
00:17:54,375 --> 00:17:57,625
Her macaroni salad
was from Martha Stewart Living?

366
00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:58,666
That's goyim food.

367
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:01,041
Macaroni's Italian.
The Chinese invented pasta.

368
00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:03,333
-Make the knish.
-All this for a potluck?

369
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,666
You know Costco sells those big pizzas.

370
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:07,666
Ben says he won't wear shin guards!

371
00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:10,083
Thanks for taking them, Elliott.
You're a lifesaver.

372
00:18:10,166 --> 00:18:11,833
Happy to. What do I need to know?

373
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:13,375
I'll show you how to use booster seats.

374
00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:15,375
The game's in
the northwest corner of Magnolia Park.

375
00:18:15,458 --> 00:18:17,666
Park on Piedmont,
where they do the rapid tests.

376
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:19,458
Gotcha. This is all at Piedmont Park.

377
00:18:19,541 --> 00:18:20,750
Oh no, Magnolia Park.

378
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,750
The northwest corner.
That's where the lilac team's playing.

379
00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:26,958
-I'll look for the kids in purple.
-No, the purple team is older kids.

380
00:18:27,041 --> 00:18:29,458
-Look for kids in lilac.
-I'll look for kids in lilac.

381
00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:32,166
And you'll need to download
the league app to check in.

382
00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:33,666
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

383
00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:35,500
Dad, you sure you're up for this?

384
00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:37,750
Piece of cake. You said Northwest Park?

385
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:39,833
I'll… I'll go with you.

386
00:18:39,916 --> 00:18:42,041
Hundreds of jobs are on the line,

387
00:18:42,125 --> 00:18:44,208
but I could do my meeting
from a public park

388
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,666
full of maniacal, screeching children.

389
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,708
Power move?

390
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:55,583
Considering the long-term revenue
that carousels render--

391
00:18:55,666 --> 00:18:57,500
What was that about the marinara vendor?

392
00:18:57,583 --> 00:18:59,416
No. We're not changing the marinara.

393
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,458
Change the marinara?

394
00:19:00,541 --> 00:19:03,791
-No, no, no. We won't change.
-Hello? You're cutting out--

395
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:06,875
Mama! Mama! I found a dead crow!

396
00:19:06,958 --> 00:19:10,708
Oh God. Hello? Are you there?
Am I there? Can you see me?

397
00:19:10,791 --> 00:19:12,958
These orange slices
are probably for everyone, right?

398
00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:13,875
Ugh!
0Uh-oh.

399
00:19:15,625 --> 00:19:17,000
-Oh, boy.
-Ben!

400
00:19:18,708 --> 00:19:20,250
Benny, are you okay, baby?

401
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:21,708
They'll have to amputate.

402
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,333
What's amputate?

403
00:19:23,416 --> 00:19:26,500
It's when the Kaiser chops off your leg
if you're a France guy.

404
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:27,958
Walter, stop that.

405
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:30,333
It'll bruise, but you'll be okay. Promise.

406
00:19:30,416 --> 00:19:31,541
Want to finish the game?

407
00:19:32,708 --> 00:19:36,333
There's a dead crow near the goal.
Want to step on it?

408
00:19:37,625 --> 00:19:38,708
Yes.

409
00:19:39,375 --> 00:19:42,291
Sorry I wasn't more of a help.
My boys never did sports.

410
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:44,708
Avi and Yoshi were more indoor cats.

411
00:19:44,791 --> 00:19:46,250
Soccer's tough.

412
00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:47,958
This is usually Shira's thing, but…

413
00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:50,333
she is occupied.

414
00:19:50,416 --> 00:19:51,916
I remember those knishes.

415
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,166
Naomi had a hard time with them too.

416
00:19:54,791 --> 00:19:56,500
All right, here we go.

417
00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:57,541
Knish.

418
00:19:57,625 --> 00:19:58,750
Shira loved them though.

419
00:19:58,833 --> 00:20:01,833
And she was not always
such an easy customer, believe it or not.

420
00:20:01,916 --> 00:20:03,250
Yeah, no, I believe that.

421
00:20:03,833 --> 00:20:06,750
Okay, okay, okay.
"Simmer potato. Drain." Yeah. Yeah.

422
00:20:06,833 --> 00:20:09,458
So when Naomi
found something Shira would eat,

423
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:10,833
that's what Naomi made.

424
00:20:10,916 --> 00:20:14,833
I did this. "Heat oil, divide dough."
This is exactly what I did.

425
00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:17,958
Did it ever get easier for Naomi?

426
00:20:18,041 --> 00:20:20,125
Are you kidding me? I already did this.

427
00:20:20,208 --> 00:20:22,500
No, she used to
complain about it every time.

428
00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:26,083
But, you know,
I think that was part of it too.

429
00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:28,125
You know, you do something hard

430
00:20:28,875 --> 00:20:31,541
so they know that you love them.

431
00:20:31,625 --> 00:20:33,250
Oh God…

432
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:34,166
No.

433
00:20:36,791 --> 00:20:37,791
Oh.

434
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:53,291
Mommy! Mommy!
Mama said we can watch Papa Troll!

435
00:20:53,375 --> 00:20:56,625
I did not say that.
Change out of your uniforms, please.

436
00:20:56,708 --> 00:20:58,916
Ben, we have the code.

437
00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:02,000
Should I ask?

438
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:07,000
Hm.

439
00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:08,291
And?

440
00:21:08,375 --> 00:21:09,208
It's garlicky.

441
00:21:10,125 --> 00:21:12,625
Like, so garlicky.

442
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:15,541
Hm.

443
00:21:17,041 --> 00:21:18,750
They're just like Mom's.

444
00:21:29,875 --> 00:21:31,375
You must be exhausted.

445
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:32,291
Yeah.

446
00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:36,416
Thank you for this week.

447
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:37,916
I don't know what happened.

448
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,375
It's not a straight line.

449
00:21:39,458 --> 00:21:40,291
Right.

450
00:21:40,791 --> 00:21:43,333
But we should clean the kitchen before we…

451
00:21:45,791 --> 00:21:46,833
…fall asleep.

452
00:21:58,541 --> 00:22:01,791
No. No, The Undeniable Isadora Duncan.

453
00:22:01,875 --> 00:22:04,500
Don't eat that. It has garlic. Ah!

454
00:22:04,583 --> 00:22:06,708
Down, The Undeniable Isadora Duncan. No!

455
00:22:06,791 --> 00:22:08,083
Ah! Come on.

456
00:22:08,166 --> 00:22:09,666
Ugh.

457
00:22:09,750 --> 00:22:11,125
Oh no.

458
00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:13,458
Oh.

459
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,458
Shira, you better…

460
00:22:20,375 --> 00:22:21,208
Okay.

461
00:22:21,833 --> 00:22:22,666
All right.

462
00:22:36,250 --> 00:22:39,250
-How come you're walking so slow, Mama?
-Did you sleep all right?

463
00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:40,916
Uh, yeah.

464
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,708
Wait, it's inside?

465
00:22:44,791 --> 00:22:48,333
Are they trying to give us all COVID?
No way. Forget it.

466
00:22:48,416 --> 00:22:50,250
We're not going to the picnic?

467
00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:53,125
-We're not going to this school.
-Are you serious?

468
00:22:53,208 --> 00:22:55,125
They can't prioritize safety at one event,

469
00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:58,291
and we're supposed to trust them
with our children every day?

470
00:22:58,375 --> 00:23:00,375
Nuh-uh.
We're going to the hairball school.

471
00:23:03,666 --> 00:23:04,500
Okay!

472
00:23:06,375 --> 00:23:09,166
That's the last time
you sabotage the regatta

473
00:23:09,250 --> 00:23:10,875
with a lot of ricotta.

474
00:23:10,958 --> 00:23:13,333
So every crime happens near water?

475
00:23:13,416 --> 00:23:15,583
How else are they going to get there?

476
00:23:16,916 --> 00:23:18,416
Can we get pizza?

477
00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:19,833
-Eat your knish.
-No.

478
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,375
Your mother made it with love.

479
00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:26,833
I want pizza!

480
00:23:28,916 --> 00:23:31,541
I don't believe in anything

481
00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:35,625
But I'll believe in you

482
00:23:36,333 --> 00:23:41,833
And I know it's all a game
And make-believe

483
00:23:41,916 --> 00:23:45,750
But this one feels more true
d make-believe