1 00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:27,458 Whoo, isn't this amazing, Kendra? 2 00:00:27,541 --> 00:00:30,666 The Princess Party Room is the most popular of all the party rooms 3 00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:31,916 at BJ BananaFingers. 4 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,958 Very exclusive. All of the dresses are from real dead princesses. 5 00:00:36,041 --> 00:00:37,166 I know, Dad. 6 00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,166 But your daddy got you the best of the best 7 00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:41,625 because your daddy loves you the best of the best. 8 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:42,541 What about me? 9 00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,291 I said what I said, son. 10 00:00:44,375 --> 00:00:47,125 We're not slumming it in some duchess room or countess room. 11 00:00:47,208 --> 00:00:51,208 You're my princess, so you get princess no matter the priciness. 12 00:00:51,291 --> 00:00:53,625 Thanks. It's the best room. 13 00:00:53,708 --> 00:00:55,500 Oh, gotta take this. 14 00:00:56,041 --> 00:00:56,875 What? 15 00:00:56,958 --> 00:00:59,666 You tell that bastard if he doesn't sign the deal right now, 16 00:00:59,750 --> 00:01:03,375 I'm gonna climb up his hair like Rapunzel and punch him in the face! 17 00:01:03,875 --> 00:01:05,333 Are you not having a good time? 18 00:01:05,416 --> 00:01:08,833 No. This party is whack. Wiggity, wiggity, wiggity whack. 19 00:01:08,916 --> 00:01:11,541 Three wiggities? On your birthday? 20 00:01:11,625 --> 00:01:13,125 I don't like the sound of that. 21 00:01:13,208 --> 00:01:15,750 You know what? We can make a break for it, okay? 22 00:01:15,833 --> 00:01:16,875 And go where? 23 00:01:16,958 --> 00:01:19,083 Somewhere magical. Trust me. 24 00:01:19,583 --> 00:01:20,416 Okay. 25 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,416 Now. 26 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,625 I'm gonna lose a glass slipper up his ass. 27 00:01:28,916 --> 00:01:29,958 This way. Come on! 28 00:01:31,375 --> 00:01:32,666 Over here. Run! 29 00:01:37,458 --> 00:01:39,291 Well, don't waste time being in awe. 30 00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:40,708 Get out there. 31 00:01:40,791 --> 00:01:43,750 Wiggity, wiggity, wiggity wonderful! 32 00:02:49,041 --> 00:02:51,041 Good morning, Fun Floor family! 33 00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:53,208 Good morning, Kendra. 34 00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:57,083 What do all 365 days have in common? Kyle? 35 00:02:57,791 --> 00:02:59,791 Um, they all end in Y? 36 00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:03,458 -Monica? -Every day is someone's birthday. 37 00:03:03,541 --> 00:03:07,125 That's right. And today is Hunter's birthday. 38 00:03:07,208 --> 00:03:09,916 So today is all about Hunter. 39 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,458 If Hunter's parents wanted a cookie-cutter, ready-made, 40 00:03:12,541 --> 00:03:14,250 one-size-fits-all, assembly-line birthday, 41 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:17,625 they could visit our friends at Charles Entertainment Cheese. 42 00:03:17,708 --> 00:03:23,041 But they come to BJ BananaFingers for a bespoke, once-in-a-lifetime, 43 00:03:23,125 --> 00:03:26,000 magical birthday experience. 44 00:03:26,083 --> 00:03:28,625 Here's the dossier on today's special boy. 45 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,583 You have 30 seconds to read, memorize, and internalize. 46 00:03:31,666 --> 00:03:34,333 Tito Tuna, what the hell happened to your head? Bonk! 47 00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:37,416 You never take any part of your costume off 48 00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:39,708 while you're on the floor. You understand? 49 00:03:39,791 --> 00:03:40,625 Mm-hmm. 50 00:03:40,708 --> 00:03:44,708 All right, folks. Let's go BananaFinger some kids. 51 00:03:50,416 --> 00:03:53,750 Girl chewing gum, three o'clock. That better not end up on someone's shoe. 52 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:56,333 Why is there a wobbly table on my floor? 53 00:03:56,416 --> 00:03:58,125 -Um, which table? -You tell me. 54 00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:00,625 -Uh, table eight. -Good girl. Fix it. 55 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,916 Oh God. 56 00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:13,291 Hunter! 57 00:04:20,791 --> 00:04:22,041 Did you read the one-sheet? 58 00:04:22,125 --> 00:04:25,166 It clearly says grapes must be cut in quarters. 59 00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:27,083 He's 12. I thought that was a joke. 60 00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:30,500 Why would I put a joke on the one-sheet? Do I look like Bernie Mac to you? 61 00:04:30,583 --> 00:04:31,833 -Uhh… -Don't answer that! 62 00:04:32,666 --> 00:04:35,250 Six years of birthdays and we're still cutting the grapes? 63 00:04:35,333 --> 00:04:38,041 I know. I never taught him to chew, like the other dads. 64 00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:40,250 Don't blame yourself. You were always at work. 65 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,291 Ah-ah-ah. It's okay. Here's what we're gonna do. 66 00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:44,666 First, start cutting his grapes in thirds. 67 00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:47,416 Give it time. Then half, then whole but peeled. 68 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,916 Then finally, whole and unpeeled. 69 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,666 I'm gonna see you here next year and we're all gonna be eating grapes. 70 00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:56,083 Let's reserve your spot before you leave today. 71 00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:57,708 We love you, Kendra. 72 00:05:04,041 --> 00:05:05,083 Jax, you home? 73 00:05:05,166 --> 00:05:07,916 You would not believe the day I had. 74 00:05:10,708 --> 00:05:12,333 -Well, I-- -Let's just eat. 75 00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:17,000 Mm. It's good. 76 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,875 Thank you. Better than the stuff you make on your nights. 77 00:05:19,958 --> 00:05:22,625 -Nuh-uh. I make good food. -Tilapia with cheese and olives? 78 00:05:22,708 --> 00:05:25,541 Wait. You don't like my pizza fish? 79 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,416 You work at a restaurant. Bring home-- 80 00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,416 You know we're not allowed to take food off-site. 81 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,291 Oh my God. Kendra, I was joking. 82 00:05:31,375 --> 00:05:34,208 I don't joke about my job, Jaclyn. 83 00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:36,791 There's nothing funny about working at BJ BananaFingers' 84 00:05:36,875 --> 00:05:40,000 kooky-ooky, giggle-wiggle, wacky-snacky, birthday-berserky Fun Floor. 85 00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:41,916 You take work way too seriously. 86 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,541 I have a job, but I still make it home on time. 87 00:05:44,625 --> 00:05:45,541 That's your job. 88 00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,250 And what is my job? 89 00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:50,125 Girl, I don't have time for the games. 90 00:05:50,208 --> 00:05:53,000 -You don't know what I do. -Of course I do! 91 00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:57,125 You are a megaphone person. 92 00:05:57,208 --> 00:05:59,583 -I'm a hostage negotiator! -For real? 93 00:05:59,666 --> 00:06:02,250 I let a man get shot so I could have dinner with you. 94 00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:03,666 Oh my God! Is he okay? 95 00:06:03,750 --> 00:06:07,166 I don't know, because my workday ends at 6:00. 96 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:09,833 Listen! We can fix this! 97 00:06:09,916 --> 00:06:11,083 You're my world. 98 00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:12,583 You're my only priority. 99 00:06:12,666 --> 00:06:15,708 Hold on, I'm getting a call. I gotta take this. It's my boss. 100 00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:18,625 -Fine. Let's take work calls. Romantic. -Veronica! How are you? 101 00:06:18,708 --> 00:06:19,708 I'll do it too. 102 00:06:19,791 --> 00:06:22,000 Jerry, hey. I'd like to pull some overtime… 103 00:06:22,083 --> 00:06:24,625 -Really? -…because I'm a workaholic that doesn't… 104 00:06:24,708 --> 00:06:26,625 -What? -…care about my girlfriend. 105 00:06:26,708 --> 00:06:29,166 Yes, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow. 106 00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:31,291 Okay, I'm on my way. How do you like it? 107 00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:34,666 I was accepted into the BJ BananaFingers management training program. 108 00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:37,208 Management training? What happened to "I'm your world"? 109 00:06:37,291 --> 00:06:40,833 Yeah, I guess you're not! This isn't gonna work. Best of luck. 110 00:06:40,916 --> 00:06:42,958 What? No! We can make this work. 111 00:06:43,041 --> 00:06:45,500 I was being needy. But I can be less needy. 112 00:06:45,583 --> 00:06:46,666 Like a succulent. 113 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,666 I gotta go to Beirut. But let's talk when I get back. 114 00:06:50,750 --> 00:06:52,916 Or not talk! Whatever's good for you. 115 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,666 I'll wait for your call! I believe in us! 116 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,208 She's a terrible negotiator. 117 00:06:59,291 --> 00:07:00,916 No wonder that guy got shot. 118 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,125 Good morning, Kendra! 119 00:07:16,791 --> 00:07:18,375 BananaFingers. 120 00:07:21,958 --> 00:07:24,041 Oh! 121 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,833 Oh my God, desk chairs? What is this, fourth grade? 122 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:42,666 My parents are getting divorced, I wet my pants and everybody laughs at me? 123 00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:44,500 Hey, Noah Wapner. Wharton '06. 124 00:07:44,583 --> 00:07:47,000 Lily Cardigan. Booth '04. 125 00:07:47,083 --> 00:07:49,541 Devin Whiteley. Stern '05. 126 00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:50,541 Kendra Hooper. 127 00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:54,208 Okay, good luck. 128 00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:55,416 Hello, everyone! 129 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:58,791 You're all here because you have the potential to succeed. 130 00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:01,416 But I'll tell you right now, most of you will not. 131 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,250 If we haven't met, my name's Veronica. 132 00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:06,666 If you make it through my program, you'll be set for life at this company. 133 00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:08,125 But stay on my good side, 134 00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:11,000 because I can send you packing if you even look at me funny. 135 00:08:11,666 --> 00:08:15,458 Okay. My lawyer's indicating that I cannot send you packing for looking at me funny. 136 00:08:15,541 --> 00:08:17,125 But still, don't look at me funny. 137 00:08:17,208 --> 00:08:19,625 Just, like, as a favor to me, okay? Yeah? 138 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:23,708 Let's get into it. What do all 365 days have in common? 139 00:08:23,791 --> 00:08:25,666 Every day is someone's birthday! 140 00:08:26,958 --> 00:08:28,125 So cute! 141 00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:34,250 Every day is a new opportunity to monetize, maximize, and optimize. 142 00:08:34,333 --> 00:08:36,125 Monetize, maximize, optimize. 143 00:08:36,208 --> 00:08:38,166 Hey, Keyonna, I wouldn't worry about that. 144 00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:41,333 They always bring in one trainee from the floor for optics. 145 00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:43,166 It's like an affirmative action thing. 146 00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:46,750 This is as far as you'll get, but you should still be so proud. 147 00:08:46,833 --> 00:08:47,875 My name is Kendra. 148 00:08:47,958 --> 00:08:49,250 Okay, Kendra. 149 00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:51,333 You smell like pepperoni. 150 00:08:51,416 --> 00:08:52,291 Oh. 151 00:08:52,375 --> 00:08:53,791 Mm. Mm-hm. 152 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:04,666 And I really did have pizza in my pocket! 153 00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:06,083 Oh, that is inopportune. 154 00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:08,083 I don't know if I'm cut out for management. 155 00:09:08,166 --> 00:09:10,208 Maybe being on the floor is my ceiling? 156 00:09:10,291 --> 00:09:13,666 Kendra, I came home for the summer to be gay in San Francisco, 157 00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:16,250 not to build your pathetic ass back up. 158 00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:19,125 David! Please! 159 00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:22,333 Fine. Let's start with this. 160 00:09:22,416 --> 00:09:25,958 You tell them B-school D-bags that they got you twisted. 161 00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:29,125 We from Oakland, baby! We don't play! Ain't that right, Saul? 162 00:09:29,208 --> 00:09:31,458 Yes, yes. They've got her very twisted. 163 00:09:31,541 --> 00:09:33,708 You gotta toughen up. What did Dad always say? 164 00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:36,000 "You're my favorite, I love you more than David"? 165 00:09:36,083 --> 00:09:39,041 No! You gotta be twice as good to get half as much. 166 00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:42,166 Except, you gonna be twice as good and get twice as much. 167 00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:45,500 Yes! Oh, I smell like pizza, Noah? 168 00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:48,875 You look like pizza, old crater-faced bitch! Gotcha! 169 00:09:48,958 --> 00:09:51,416 -Okay, yes, but do not say that. -Oh, I know. 170 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,041 You gotta hold on to that anger. 171 00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,458 Put that anger in a pot. 172 00:09:54,541 --> 00:09:58,041 Cut up some carrots and celery and get a little angry stew going. 173 00:09:58,125 --> 00:09:59,541 Slow cook that anger now. 174 00:09:59,625 --> 00:10:01,875 Keep it on the back burner. Get it good and ready. 175 00:10:01,958 --> 00:10:03,458 You better keep the lid on tight! 176 00:10:03,541 --> 00:10:06,125 Can I lift the lid for a second? Get a taste? Get focused? 177 00:10:06,208 --> 00:10:08,958 -Girl, don't you touch that lid. -Damn! Can I get a sniff? 178 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,916 Don't you lift that lid off that anger while it cooks! Okay? 179 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,875 Ha! It's ready. 180 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,375 It's party time 181 00:10:19,458 --> 00:10:22,791 At BJ BananaFingers We party all the time 182 00:10:22,875 --> 00:10:26,208 Having fun that never ends We could be your very best friends 183 00:10:26,291 --> 00:10:27,833 Good morning, Kendra. 184 00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:30,708 The six tenets of business are… 185 00:10:30,791 --> 00:10:33,875 Everybody movin', and everybody groovin' That's the BJ BananaFingers way 186 00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:37,916 So make a wish and be yourself It's your birthday 187 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,125 The ten principles of management are… 188 00:10:44,416 --> 00:10:45,791 The 700 maxims of power are… 189 00:10:57,833 --> 00:10:59,166 I haven't even asked a question. 190 00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:00,916 But I have the answer! 191 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:04,416 There were ten in the class, now there's six. They can't get rid of me. 192 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,125 -I'm like Sanjaya. -Cool. 193 00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:09,958 -Anyway, I also had a great summer-- -Lorena thinks she knows what's up, 194 00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:13,750 but she doesn't understand basic P&L. That's bush league, Lorena! 195 00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:15,375 -Okay, meanwhile-- -Is there a bee? 196 00:11:15,458 --> 00:11:18,625 I'm going back to school, so maybe we can focus on my goodbye dinner. 197 00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:21,333 -No doubt, David. Tonight's all about you. -Thank you. 198 00:11:21,416 --> 00:11:22,541 I hear a buzzing bee. 199 00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,041 -Are you hearing that? -No. 200 00:11:24,125 --> 00:11:26,125 It's okay. No bee's gonna throw me off my game. 201 00:11:26,208 --> 00:11:29,500 Gotta think harder. Work smarter. Optimize. Jazzercise. Bette Davis eyes. 202 00:11:29,583 --> 00:11:31,500 Kendra, sweetheart, you work at an arcade. 203 00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:35,166 -A premium family fun experience center. -You're taking this too seriously. 204 00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:37,041 I know I'm not getting career advice 205 00:11:37,125 --> 00:11:40,083 from the guy who took a year off college to work at a Gap. 206 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:41,583 I took a "gap" year. 207 00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:44,625 I did not work at a Gap. I was volunteering in Honduras. 208 00:11:44,708 --> 00:11:46,916 So I misremembered. Banana Republic. 209 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,083 -You'll burn yourself out. -You don't hear buzzing? Like thunder. 210 00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:52,500 You better find some balance. You need a hobby, 211 00:11:52,583 --> 00:11:54,291 -or church or something. -Church? 212 00:11:54,375 --> 00:11:56,291 They're not all like Mom's church. 213 00:11:56,375 --> 00:11:57,833 I found a progressive one. 214 00:11:57,916 --> 00:12:01,083 Our Jesus is mixed race, queer, and died of old age. 215 00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:03,000 -What? -It's something to believe in. Okay? 216 00:12:03,083 --> 00:12:05,500 I believe in BJ BananaFingers. 217 00:12:06,416 --> 00:12:07,791 Huh! 218 00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:09,541 Bee. 219 00:12:13,083 --> 00:12:15,625 Pull it together, girl. Come on, Kendra. 220 00:12:15,708 --> 00:12:17,125 Hoo-ah. Brrr. 221 00:12:17,208 --> 00:12:19,708 Hey, boss. Everything okay? 222 00:12:19,791 --> 00:12:21,458 I'm better than okay. I'm pumped. 223 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,333 I'm stoked. Today is Brad's birthday. 224 00:12:23,416 --> 00:12:25,333 What a beautiful day to be alive. 225 00:12:25,416 --> 00:12:27,166 It's Chad's birthday? 226 00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:30,833 You think I don't know that? "Brad" is my nickname for Chad. 227 00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:34,000 I just wanted to circle back about the cake? 228 00:12:34,083 --> 00:12:35,875 Oh my God, Monica! Every little… 229 00:12:35,958 --> 00:12:41,041 My brain is already five birthdays ahead, and you want to circle back about a cake? 230 00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:44,875 Why don't you buzz around somebody else for a change, you buzzy, buzzy bee? 231 00:12:51,416 --> 00:12:54,250 What the heck? This isn't a future cake. 232 00:12:55,666 --> 00:12:59,125 Actually, Chad, this cake is the most futuristic of all. 233 00:12:59,208 --> 00:13:04,458 It represents true unknown, because the future is what you make of it. 234 00:13:05,875 --> 00:13:07,541 What? 235 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,625 Kendra, what happened at Chad's birthday? 236 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,708 Monica dropped the ball, but I talked to her. 237 00:13:13,791 --> 00:13:15,916 -Won't happen again. -Hey. I'm rooting for you. 238 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,875 I came up from the floor just like you, and I love seeing us win, 239 00:13:19,958 --> 00:13:22,958 but I need someone who can do both jobs. I need you to be a killer. 240 00:13:23,041 --> 00:13:24,375 Of course! I'm a tiger shark, 241 00:13:24,458 --> 00:13:26,583 a land killer and a sea killer combined in one. 242 00:13:26,666 --> 00:13:29,208 Uh-huh. We're making our final selection soon. 243 00:13:29,291 --> 00:13:30,375 Stay on top of things. 244 00:13:30,458 --> 00:13:32,541 I'm on top! I'm on top like RoboCop! 245 00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:34,958 Never stop! Chop, chop, chop! Snap! Crackle! Pop! 246 00:13:35,041 --> 00:13:36,333 Your phone is ringing. 247 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:38,750 This better not be important! 248 00:13:38,833 --> 00:13:41,375 Dad had a heart attack. 249 00:13:42,541 --> 00:13:43,833 It's not important. 250 00:13:46,666 --> 00:13:48,375 Your father is stable for now. 251 00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:50,500 -We'll know more when he wakes up. -Ugh. 252 00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:53,583 -And when will that be? -I don't know. I'll ask. 253 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,500 Hey, do you know when you're gonna wake up? 254 00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:57,458 He doesn't know. 255 00:13:59,625 --> 00:14:01,875 Dad! You gotta wake up. I got a lot on my plate. 256 00:14:01,958 --> 00:14:04,916 I need to know your crappy heart works so I can get out of here. 257 00:14:06,875 --> 00:14:10,416 Just wake up! I know you're going to, so just do it now so I can go to work! 258 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,083 Wake up! Argh! 259 00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:13,875 -Clear! -No. 260 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,291 So, Asif's party isn't until 2:00 p.m. 261 00:14:17,375 --> 00:14:21,125 I'll be there, but just in case, here are my instructions. 262 00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:25,166 Where are all the doctors? Someone needs to wake him up. 263 00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:27,916 We're understaffed. Today's Rosh Hashanah. 264 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,125 -What the hell's a Rosha-sha-sha? -It's the Jewish New Year. 265 00:14:31,208 --> 00:14:32,916 New Year? It is September. 266 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,833 Do I look like Boo-Boo the Fool? Or one of your little friends? 267 00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:39,458 Or your little friend Boo-Boo the Fool? I'm about to sue this whole hospital. 268 00:14:39,541 --> 00:14:41,291 Good luck finding a lawyer today. 269 00:14:42,375 --> 00:14:45,291 So you conveniently leave town right before this heart attack? 270 00:14:45,375 --> 00:14:47,125 I'm starting to feel set up, David. 271 00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:49,875 Yes, I gave our father a high-cholesterol diet, 272 00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:53,291 decades of career stress, and the occasional post-scotch scotch 273 00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:54,791 so his heart would explode, 274 00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:57,958 and then I conveniently went back to college as a goof. 275 00:14:58,041 --> 00:15:00,208 Gay old Jesus Christ, David! 276 00:15:09,666 --> 00:15:11,916 It was just a panic attack. Is all this necessary? 277 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,625 If I get fired, I'll win the lottery and buy this hospital. 278 00:15:14,708 --> 00:15:15,791 Time to go night-night. 279 00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:19,291 -Then we'll see who's doing the firing. -There you go, honey. 280 00:15:19,375 --> 00:15:20,666 Pew, pew. 281 00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:27,166 What the hell is this? 282 00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:29,791 I'm supposed to have a private room! Nurse! Nurse! 283 00:15:29,875 --> 00:15:31,708 Dad? You're awake? 284 00:15:31,791 --> 00:15:33,583 Kendra, what are you doing here? 285 00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,333 I'm supposed to have a private room! 286 00:15:35,416 --> 00:15:38,375 I'm good, Dad. It was just a panic attack. How are you feeling? 287 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:40,541 Oh fine. This ain't my first heart attack. 288 00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:43,500 Dad, you've got to slow down. You're going to kill yourself. 289 00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:46,041 Six unsuccessful heart attacks say otherwise, baby. 290 00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:48,041 Six heart attacks is not good! 291 00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:50,416 No? Let me tell you what six heart attacks got you. 292 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,875 -I know, Dad. -They got you the best education. 293 00:15:52,958 --> 00:15:55,583 They got you vacations in Turks and Caicos. 294 00:15:55,666 --> 00:15:58,333 They got you a BJ BananaFingers birthday every year 295 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,125 while your friends smacked street piñatas with whiffle bats. 296 00:16:01,208 --> 00:16:03,375 My heart attacks are a source of pride. 297 00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:05,583 Not a person on this Earth is getting out alive, 298 00:16:05,666 --> 00:16:08,250 but how many can say they pushed themselves to the limit? 299 00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:10,916 Dad, just say, "Thank you, Kendra, for being here for me." 300 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,666 Why? You're not a doctor or a nurse. You can't help me. 301 00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:16,125 When I need a race car birthday, I'll let you know. 302 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,000 Ugh. 303 00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:26,791 Um… 304 00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,541 Oh, uh… 305 00:16:29,541 --> 00:16:30,500 Rosh Hashanah! 306 00:16:30,583 --> 00:16:32,125 -What? -Rosh Hashanah! 307 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:34,666 That's why I couldn't come to work yesterday. 308 00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:36,000 Jewish New Year. 309 00:16:36,083 --> 00:16:37,416 Wait, you're Jewish? 310 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,166 -How are you Jewish? -Delightfully? 311 00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:42,791 But… You're Jewish! Of course. 312 00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:45,166 Good. We love the Jews! 313 00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:48,625 Oh, um, we feel neutral about the Jews. 314 00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:51,333 Hope your holiday was reflective and meaningful 315 00:16:51,416 --> 00:16:55,291 and that you came up with a lot of ideas about how to save our company money. 316 00:16:55,375 --> 00:16:57,583 Not because you're Jewish. 317 00:16:57,666 --> 00:16:59,708 Secular money-saving ideas. 318 00:16:59,791 --> 00:17:00,708 You got it! 319 00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:04,791 -Jewish, huh? -Yep! 320 00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:06,541 Fantastic. What shul do you go to? 321 00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:09,833 Um, I'm between shuls right now. 322 00:17:09,916 --> 00:17:10,750 Okay. 323 00:17:11,625 --> 00:17:14,416 What kind of Jewish? Reform, Conservative, Reconstructionist? 324 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,875 I'm a bit of all those things. 325 00:17:15,958 --> 00:17:18,625 I'm like a KFC/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut of Jewish. 326 00:17:19,208 --> 00:17:21,916 But who are your people? Ashkenazi? Sephardic? 327 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,000 Obviously Ashkenazi! 328 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,166 -Litvak or Galitzianer? -Clearly Litvak. 329 00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:27,875 Like Litvak from Vilna or Litvak from Vitebsk? 330 00:17:27,958 --> 00:17:30,458 -What do you think? -I'm getting Vitebsk vibes. 331 00:17:30,541 --> 00:17:32,083 Mel Brooks or Albert Brooks? 332 00:17:32,166 --> 00:17:33,000 Why choose? 333 00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:34,125 That settles it! 334 00:17:34,208 --> 00:17:37,916 You're coming to my shul for Yom Kippur. I have an extra $400 ticket. 335 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,291 Oh, I couldn't. 336 00:17:39,375 --> 00:17:41,625 You couldn't come to shul on Yom Kippur? 337 00:17:41,708 --> 00:17:43,625 -I mean… -You are Jewish, right? 338 00:17:43,708 --> 00:17:46,875 You didn't just say that to keep your job and stay in the program? 339 00:17:46,958 --> 00:17:48,625 Because if you did… 340 00:17:48,708 --> 00:17:49,750 I'll see you there! 341 00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:52,750 There's an ATM across the street, so pay me back whenever. 342 00:17:54,791 --> 00:17:57,916 "Along with his sons Ruben, Levi, Judah, Zebulun…" 343 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,750 Zebulun? What kind of Jedi-ass name is… 344 00:18:01,833 --> 00:18:05,416 Ooh. Pensions and severance! "Vested BJ Banana Buddies are entitled--" 345 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:06,541 Ah! 346 00:18:08,875 --> 00:18:10,000 Go! Talk! Now! 347 00:18:10,083 --> 00:18:11,083 Honey, are you okay? 348 00:18:11,166 --> 00:18:14,208 I'm doing great! I just gotta really know my stuff. 349 00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:17,458 I think this one guy is on to me. He's real sneaky like that. 350 00:18:17,541 --> 00:18:19,416 I'm not saying that because he's Jewish! 351 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,000 -I didn't know he was. -There's a lot you don't know. 352 00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:24,750 -What're they teaching you at school? -Not who's Jewish. 353 00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:27,208 Now that we're talking about you, I'd love to chat, 354 00:18:27,291 --> 00:18:29,791 but I got a hot date and I need to get ready. Bye! 355 00:18:31,416 --> 00:18:34,416 I gotta tell you, your picture does not do you justice. 356 00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:35,916 And it is a good picture! 357 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,500 Yeah. Hey, explain to me… 358 00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:43,166 I don't understand the fence around the Torah. Is it physical or… 359 00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:45,375 Whoa, okay. I'm a rabbi as a job, 360 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,000 but I don't need to be a rabbi all the time. 361 00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:52,125 I also like movies. I like basketball. I love the Warriors, for instance. 362 00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:54,333 -The movie or the basketball team? -Ah-ha! 363 00:18:54,416 --> 00:18:57,291 I don't have time for this. If you don't wanna talk Jew with me, 364 00:18:57,375 --> 00:18:59,291 why are you trying to meet people on JDate? 365 00:18:59,375 --> 00:19:01,958 The fence around the Torah is a metaphor. 366 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,375 Follow a stricter observance than the Torah commands 367 00:19:04,458 --> 00:19:06,000 so you don't break a rule by mistake. 368 00:19:06,083 --> 00:19:10,583 Okay, but why can't folks just actually read the rules and then follow them? 369 00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:14,291 This seems like too many people can't handle simple instructions. Am I wrong? 370 00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:17,708 I love your interrogative approach. Where did you go to day school? 371 00:19:17,791 --> 00:19:19,833 Oh, I'm not really Jewish. 372 00:19:19,916 --> 00:19:22,375 I just wanted to get you here so I could ask questions. 373 00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:25,583 What is an afikoman, and how do I find it? 374 00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:28,541 Well, you may be surprised, but you not being Jewish 375 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,916 is not necessarily a deal-breaker for me. 376 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,750 Oh, I'm also a full-bore gay. 377 00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:35,208 Also not a deal-breaker. 378 00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:39,458 I don't know how else to say it. Who's got ideas? 379 00:19:39,541 --> 00:19:44,208 Um, if we're willing to scale back on the BJ BananaFingers experience… 380 00:19:44,291 --> 00:19:47,333 Hate it! Hate you! Get out of my life forever. 381 00:19:47,416 --> 00:19:48,875 I regret knowing you. 382 00:19:48,958 --> 00:19:52,041 Yeah, cry about it. You're lucky you're cute. 383 00:19:52,541 --> 00:19:54,750 What? Oh, I can't say anything? 384 00:19:54,833 --> 00:19:58,541 Um, I do have an idea that could save us some money. 385 00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:01,375 Our Jermaine Jellyfish has been an employee of this franchise 386 00:20:01,458 --> 00:20:02,875 for 30 years as of next week. 387 00:20:02,958 --> 00:20:06,458 If she were to retire, she'd be entitled to a pretty massive pension. 388 00:20:06,541 --> 00:20:07,958 Unless… 389 00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,041 we fired her before next week. 390 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,041 That's pretty cutthroat, Kendra. 391 00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:14,625 It's not personal. Sometimes you gotta be a killer. 392 00:20:14,708 --> 00:20:15,708 I like it. 393 00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:19,208 But we can't fire anyone without cause. 394 00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:32,750 Hey! Jermaine Jellyfish, just wanted to tell you what a great job you're doing. 395 00:20:33,875 --> 00:20:35,583 No, wait. 396 00:20:35,666 --> 00:20:38,458 I could just use one of those hugs too, you know? 397 00:20:46,125 --> 00:20:48,791 Ow! Ow! Ow! 398 00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:50,875 Ah! Ah! Wah! 399 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,375 Oh my God, Jermaine Jellyfish, what happened? 400 00:21:03,333 --> 00:21:05,541 This way! Come on. 401 00:21:09,541 --> 00:21:12,541 It's you. The princess who saved my birthday. 402 00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:16,166 I didn't know you still worked here all this time. 403 00:21:16,250 --> 00:21:18,333 You have no idea what that meant to me. 404 00:21:18,416 --> 00:21:22,000 For the first time in my life, somebody saw me. 405 00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:23,958 Oh. 406 00:21:24,041 --> 00:21:26,000 -That's nice. -Yeah. 407 00:21:28,666 --> 00:21:33,416 But, unfortunately, it's company policy that costumed characters 408 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:36,125 cannot remove any part of their costume while on the floor. 409 00:21:36,208 --> 00:21:37,500 What? But I-- 410 00:21:37,583 --> 00:21:39,750 So you're fired. Effective immediately. 411 00:21:39,833 --> 00:21:42,416 -No! -I'm so sorry. I don't make the rules. 412 00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:45,166 -You don't have to do this. -It's gonna be okay. 413 00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:47,375 -You'll be okay. -I won't be okay. 414 00:21:47,458 --> 00:21:51,041 You don't have to do this! I don't have anything except this job 415 00:21:51,125 --> 00:21:53,958 and a few hundred shares of stock in something called Lululemon. 416 00:21:54,041 --> 00:21:56,208 You're making a scene, and not a fun scene. 417 00:21:56,291 --> 00:21:58,750 Gather your things. Security will see you out. 418 00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:04,708 Back to work, everyone! 419 00:22:07,625 --> 00:22:09,333 They all hate me. 420 00:22:09,416 --> 00:22:11,875 You won't be on the floor with them much longer anyway. 421 00:22:11,958 --> 00:22:16,000 How about you and I get lunch tomorrow to discuss your future at the company? 422 00:22:16,083 --> 00:22:18,416 I can't tomorrow. It's Yom Kippur. 423 00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:21,000 Oh, right. When you get back then. 424 00:22:21,083 --> 00:22:23,458 Uh, Yom Kippur Tupac Shakur to you. 425 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,791 Do you know if a guy named Noah is here? 426 00:22:32,875 --> 00:22:35,166 There's probably, like, 50 Noahs in here. 427 00:22:59,875 --> 00:23:03,916 These are the prayers of confession. We're saying how we've sinned. 428 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,166 We have trespassed. We have betrayed. 429 00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:10,375 I have trespassed. I have betrayed. 430 00:23:10,458 --> 00:23:12,833 We have deceived. We have mocked. 431 00:23:13,708 --> 00:23:16,291 I have deceived. I have mocked. 432 00:23:17,208 --> 00:23:18,375 No, sweetie. 433 00:23:18,458 --> 00:23:20,541 We. We have. 434 00:23:22,375 --> 00:23:23,208 We. We have.