1 00:00:10,375 --> 00:00:13,166 Pizza's amazing. I can't believe you're gonna leave New York. 2 00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:16,541 I can't be in this big, expensive house since I lost my Sylvia. 3 00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:17,458 Aw… 4 00:00:17,541 --> 00:00:21,500 And technically, I'm not supposed to practice law in New York anymore. 5 00:00:21,583 --> 00:00:24,333 -What do you mean, "not supposed to"? -Eh, it's a gray area. 6 00:00:24,416 --> 00:00:27,166 Anyway, I can't take all this stuff to Vegas. 7 00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:30,791 I wanted to give you first dibs before your sisters swoop in. 8 00:00:31,291 --> 00:00:33,541 This stationery is still good. 9 00:00:33,625 --> 00:00:36,166 Just cross off her name and address and put yours. 10 00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:38,250 Avi, for your lecture notes. 11 00:00:38,333 --> 00:00:40,166 I'll probably just use a notebook. 12 00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:42,458 But this paper already belongs to us. 13 00:00:42,541 --> 00:00:44,208 You want I should ship it for you? 14 00:00:44,291 --> 00:00:45,833 Half would break in transit. 15 00:00:45,916 --> 00:00:47,791 What would I do with half the glasses missing? 16 00:00:47,875 --> 00:00:49,958 You could view the glass set as half full. 17 00:00:50,041 --> 00:00:50,958 I could never. 18 00:00:51,041 --> 00:00:52,291 What do you think, Avi? 19 00:00:52,375 --> 00:00:55,958 Oh yeah, my dorm room could really use an antique three-piece vanity. 20 00:00:56,041 --> 00:00:58,666 -Like it kill you to look in the mirror? -Just take the vanity! 21 00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:00,750 I don't want it! 22 00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:01,791 Hm. 23 00:01:03,333 --> 00:01:04,166 Oh… 24 00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:07,583 Hmm. 25 00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:17,041 Can I have this brooch? 26 00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:19,500 It was my mother's. 27 00:01:20,708 --> 00:01:22,958 Nah, I want to keep that. 28 00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:14,833 The clothes are designed to fall apart. Plus they're tacky. 29 00:02:14,916 --> 00:02:16,708 It's giving ungapatchka. 30 00:02:16,791 --> 00:02:17,791 Ungapatchka? 31 00:02:17,875 --> 00:02:18,916 It means garish. 32 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,166 No, I know ungapatchka. Why do you know ungapatchka? 33 00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:24,625 My "For You" page gives me Yiddish word of the day. 34 00:02:24,708 --> 00:02:26,166 It's fun. Yiddish is camp. 35 00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:28,208 -Yiddish is camp? -I didn't mean "camp." 36 00:02:28,291 --> 00:02:31,166 Who could forget the B-52's rendition of "Oyfn Pripetshik"? 37 00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:33,041 -I meant old but cool. -So camp! 38 00:02:33,125 --> 00:02:34,875 Okay, such a nudnik. 39 00:02:34,958 --> 00:02:37,166 -Jesus. -"Kitsch" is the word you're looking for. 40 00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:39,875 Jews don't do camp, unless it's sleepaway camp. 41 00:02:39,958 --> 00:02:41,250 -Or concentration-- -Bus! 42 00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:44,541 Okay, have a good day with the other kinderlach. 43 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,625 Oh, hello! Who died? 44 00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:50,250 That's not the only reason I call. 45 00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:53,291 That's the bit. It wouldn't be funny if someone actually died. 46 00:02:53,375 --> 00:02:55,375 The good news is we can retire that bit now… 47 00:02:55,458 --> 00:02:56,958 -Oh no! -…'cause Uncle Barry died. 48 00:02:57,041 --> 00:02:59,541 Was that "oh no" for Uncle Barry or your "who died" bit? 49 00:02:59,625 --> 00:03:00,541 What happened? 50 00:03:00,625 --> 00:03:02,958 What happened is Uncle Barry was a million years old 51 00:03:03,041 --> 00:03:04,583 and he ate steaks like Tic Tacs. 52 00:03:04,666 --> 00:03:06,458 Funeral's on Friday in Vegas. 53 00:03:06,541 --> 00:03:07,791 -You gonna go? -You kidding? 54 00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:10,166 Not a single one of the Kleins showed up when Mom died. 55 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,666 I'm amazed at your ability to keep score. 56 00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:14,666 That whole year was a blur for me. 57 00:03:14,750 --> 00:03:17,333 2020? I'll give you the highlights. You got divorced. 58 00:03:17,416 --> 00:03:19,500 -Mom got the novel coronavirus. -No, I got it. 59 00:03:19,583 --> 00:03:22,041 Everyone else got into sea shanties and sourdough. 60 00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:25,208 We had a Zoom shiva, and the Kleins couldn't even click the link. 61 00:03:25,291 --> 00:03:27,416 If you're not going, then I don't have to go. 62 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,250 -Mommy! My masterpieces! -Ah! 63 00:03:30,333 --> 00:03:32,500 I think we should go, but I should be careful 64 00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:36,458 because the last time I went to Vegas, I lost a lot of money. 65 00:03:36,541 --> 00:03:38,625 There's not gonna be gambling at the funeral. 66 00:03:38,708 --> 00:03:40,291 Just stay out of the casinos. 67 00:03:40,375 --> 00:03:42,916 Look, Vegas turns me into a crazy person. 68 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,875 So you don't want to go? Why did you just say we should go? 69 00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:47,541 Well, I meant "we" like you. 70 00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:49,750 Well, if you're all going, I want to go. 71 00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:51,541 I don't think any of us are going. 72 00:03:51,625 --> 00:03:53,708 When's the last time we were in the same place? 73 00:03:53,791 --> 00:03:56,125 Mom's funeral? No, you know what? The unveiling. 74 00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:57,208 Yeah, that was it. 75 00:03:57,291 --> 00:03:59,875 It'd be nice to get together under less sad circumstances. 76 00:03:59,958 --> 00:04:03,958 Not that I'm not sad about Uncle Barry, but, you know, certainly less sad. 77 00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:05,333 Ha! You call that a pitch? 78 00:04:05,416 --> 00:04:07,333 I wasn't pitching, just thinking out loud. 79 00:04:07,416 --> 00:04:08,583 Come on! Let's go! 80 00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:10,541 All right, you talked me into it. 81 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,041 What are the odds I lose money in Vegas twice in a row? 82 00:04:13,125 --> 00:04:14,208 Bet you 50 bucks I won't. 83 00:04:14,291 --> 00:04:16,625 -If you want to go, we can go. -No, I don't want to. 84 00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:18,708 Okay, you just keep bringing it up. 85 00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:20,625 How come Uncle Barry gets a real funeral 86 00:04:20,708 --> 00:04:24,583 -while we had to cry into our laptops? -I can't eat beans, they're still alive. 87 00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:26,458 Zap, okay, I killed them. 88 00:04:26,541 --> 00:04:29,416 It's not the Kleins' fault. It's not like none of them showed. 89 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:30,541 None of them, Kendra. 90 00:04:30,625 --> 00:04:33,916 What about Joni Klein? You complained all week because she was eating-- 91 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,000 Corn on the cob during the eulogies. How could I forget? 92 00:04:37,083 --> 00:04:39,208 Joni Klein and her corn, 93 00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:42,250 doing the typewriter like some kind of Looney Tune. 94 00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:44,916 I can't eat corn because I'm allergic to yellow. 95 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:45,833 Yeah, me neither! 96 00:04:45,916 --> 00:04:48,500 Hold on. Are you suggesting we go to Uncle Barry's funeral 97 00:04:48,583 --> 00:04:51,666 and I bring a corn on the cob just to teach Joni Klein a lesson? 98 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,833 -No. -Oh yeah! No, of course… 99 00:04:53,916 --> 00:04:55,041 I would never. 100 00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:57,916 But could you imagine? I mean, she would feel so bad. 101 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,208 It's her grandfather's funeral, babe. 102 00:05:00,291 --> 00:05:01,833 She'll already be feeling bad. 103 00:05:01,916 --> 00:05:04,333 But I want her to feel bad for the right reasons. 104 00:05:04,416 --> 00:05:05,625 Otherwise, why even go? 105 00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:07,583 Oh, Avi, I'm so sorry. 106 00:05:07,666 --> 00:05:09,500 I know how much your Uncle Barry… 107 00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:11,000 was. 108 00:05:11,083 --> 00:05:13,000 I'm probably not gonna go to the funeral, 109 00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:15,708 but if I do, you think we could switch days this week? 110 00:05:15,791 --> 00:05:18,416 Oh no. Avi, I'm actually in Big Sur. 111 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,541 -What? Why are you in Big Sur? -I can't. 112 00:05:20,625 --> 00:05:22,333 I don't know. Because it's beautiful. 113 00:05:22,416 --> 00:05:24,791 Why are you, I assume, in your house you never leave? 114 00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:29,458 Okay, fair. It just seems like a weird place to be going by yourself. 115 00:05:29,541 --> 00:05:31,666 You're not by yourself. 116 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:34,125 I was going to tell you. 117 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:35,625 No, no, no. It's none of my… 118 00:05:35,708 --> 00:05:36,833 It's fine. 119 00:05:36,916 --> 00:05:39,583 I know it's fine. I don't need you to give me permission. 120 00:05:39,666 --> 00:05:41,000 Of course. Does Hannah know? 121 00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:42,666 I'll tell her if it gets serious. 122 00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:43,791 -It's not serious? -Avi. 123 00:05:43,875 --> 00:05:45,791 -Okay! -I'm sorry I can't take Hannah. 124 00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:47,458 Why don't you take her with you? 125 00:05:47,541 --> 00:05:49,958 I mean, I'm probably not even going. 126 00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:51,208 I'd have to leave my house. 127 00:05:53,791 --> 00:05:55,958 How am I related to Barry again? 128 00:05:56,041 --> 00:05:59,750 He was the, um, widower of your grandmother's mother's sister. 129 00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:02,000 Your great-great-uncle through marriage. 130 00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:05,125 You always hear how special the great-great-uncle through marriage, 131 00:06:05,208 --> 00:06:07,500 great-great-niece through marriage relationship is, 132 00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:10,250 but you don't really appreciate it until it's gone. 133 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:12,333 -Sad, really. -Are you going to the funeral? 134 00:06:12,416 --> 00:06:13,416 I could stay with Mom. 135 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:14,791 No, she's in Big Sur. 136 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,041 Mom went to Big Sur? 137 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,000 Oh, uh… 138 00:06:17,083 --> 00:06:18,000 -Uh… -By herself? 139 00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:20,333 Why wouldn't she take me? I'm a pleasure to be around. 140 00:06:20,416 --> 00:06:22,500 No. She wanted to go with you. That was the plan. 141 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,791 She actually asked if I would switch days with her, and I said no. 142 00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:27,250 -Why? -Because I thought 143 00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:30,291 it was really important that we go to this funeral together. 144 00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:31,291 Really? 145 00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:32,958 Yeah, it'll be nice. 146 00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:41,791 This sucks, man. 147 00:06:41,875 --> 00:06:43,916 Barry Klein was a good lawyer, 148 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,875 but an even better friend. 149 00:06:45,958 --> 00:06:50,083 As a lawyer, he would always say, "Deny, deny, deny." 150 00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:54,208 But as a friend offering marital advice, he would say, 151 00:06:54,291 --> 00:06:56,041 "Deny, deny, deny." 152 00:06:58,958 --> 00:07:01,458 But there's one thing I cannot deny. 153 00:07:01,541 --> 00:07:03,500 Barry, you are dead now. 154 00:07:04,583 --> 00:07:06,958 I'm going to, uh… I'm going to go get a vanilla latte. 155 00:07:07,041 --> 00:07:09,750 -Anyone else want one? -You're not gonna gamble, are you? 156 00:07:09,833 --> 00:07:12,875 What are the chances that I'd do something that rude at a funeral? 157 00:07:12,958 --> 00:07:14,791 Three to one? Wanna take those odds? No? 158 00:07:14,875 --> 00:07:17,083 Your funeral. Excuse me. 159 00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:20,500 Hannah, if you're looking for ungapatchka, check out Uncle Barry's girlfriend. 160 00:07:20,583 --> 00:07:23,250 I don't know which is louder, the sobbing or the outfit. 161 00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:24,541 You boys doing okay? 162 00:07:24,625 --> 00:07:27,250 I want to be a white-collar defense attorney. 163 00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:29,458 I want to be a undertaker. 164 00:07:29,541 --> 00:07:32,666 Good news. Our sons will take care of us when we're old and/or dead. 165 00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:35,416 -Wait. When did you get that purse? -Oh, this old thing? 166 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,750 Hmm. Do you have a corn on the cob in there? 167 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,083 Why would you ask that? 168 00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:41,833 I want you to tell me you do not have corn in that purse right now. 169 00:07:41,916 --> 00:07:45,500 I don't think we need to get into specifics… 170 00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:49,250 Did you, between yesterday and today, purchase a large purse 171 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:51,541 specifically so you could fit a corn on the cob… 172 00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:54,041 There are a lot of accusations flying around. 173 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:57,041 This morning, when you told me you needed to "get some air," 174 00:07:57,125 --> 00:08:00,875 did you go to a restaurant and order a corn on the cob? 175 00:08:01,958 --> 00:08:04,083 I got the corn on the cob DoorDashed. 176 00:08:04,166 --> 00:08:08,125 You better not bust out that corn on the cob in the middle of this service. 177 00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:09,875 Obviously I'm not going to do that. 178 00:08:09,958 --> 00:08:11,291 Okay, thank you. 179 00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:13,083 But at the shiva… 180 00:08:13,666 --> 00:08:15,291 Thank you. Oh! 181 00:08:15,958 --> 00:08:17,666 Oops. Huh. Okay, excuse me. 182 00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:20,500 Sorry. Uh, sorry. Just trying to get my quarter. 183 00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:26,208 Ooh. 184 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,625 Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Okay! 185 00:08:33,375 --> 00:08:34,750 Is that a cat? 186 00:08:34,833 --> 00:08:36,583 Get out of here, you scamp. 187 00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:37,833 Where are you going? 188 00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:43,500 Ha! 189 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:47,083 That's odd. There's a cat. Anybody else see that cat? 190 00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:48,958 Wow. 191 00:08:49,541 --> 00:08:51,000 Get… Get… Get back over here. 192 00:08:51,083 --> 00:08:52,625 I'm going to get you. 193 00:08:53,125 --> 00:08:55,625 Cat! Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. 194 00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:57,791 Where are you going, you scamp? 195 00:08:57,875 --> 00:08:59,625 Wow! 196 00:09:00,208 --> 00:09:01,458 I missed the whole funeral? 197 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,458 And the burial. 198 00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:04,291 I guess I just got distracted, and-- 199 00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:06,625 -Was the latte good at least? -Aw, man! 200 00:09:06,708 --> 00:09:07,916 Want a ride to the shiva? 201 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,541 I think I'm gonna go back to LA. 202 00:09:09,625 --> 00:09:10,875 -Are you serious? -What?! 203 00:09:10,958 --> 00:09:12,750 I think I was avoiding the funeral 204 00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:14,791 because I'm not ready for a new person to be dead. 205 00:09:14,875 --> 00:09:17,166 I'm sorry. I know that's selfish, but, like, 206 00:09:17,666 --> 00:09:19,208 I didn't have enough time. 207 00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:22,208 I thought I did, but I'm not ready. 208 00:09:22,291 --> 00:09:23,375 It's okay, Yoshi. 209 00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:25,500 Besides, it's Friday, and I kind of wanna be 210 00:09:25,583 --> 00:09:27,416 back home with my own people for Shabbat. 211 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,833 I should go now if I'm gonna make it before sundown. 212 00:09:29,916 --> 00:09:32,166 -All right. -Call me when you get home. 213 00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:34,750 Oh. 214 00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:43,791 Nobody has ever felt the pain that I am feeling right now! 215 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:44,791 I know, Vivian. 216 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:48,333 The rabbi gave me a little ribbon to tear so I wouldn't tear my clothes. 217 00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:50,416 Feh. I don't need a ribbon. 218 00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:53,625 I'll tear my clothes. That's how sad I am. 219 00:09:53,708 --> 00:09:56,916 -You tore this dress? -Darling, this is a Donna Karan. 220 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,375 I'll go upstairs later. I'll find something to tear. 221 00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:02,708 But I want to show you this. 222 00:10:02,791 --> 00:10:05,291 -This was a gift from my Barry. -What? 223 00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:10,500 I'm gonna keep it close to my left breast. That was one of Barry's favorites. 224 00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:16,250 Oh my God! It's Bubbe's butterfly brooch! Barry gave it to Vivian. You believe it? 225 00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:19,250 -Believe it? I can barely follow it. -The brooch! It was Bubbe's! 226 00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:21,958 After she died, Mom wanted it and never got it. 227 00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:23,666 It's our family's brooch! 228 00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:25,500 So you want to ask Vivian for it? 229 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,791 She's grieving. This isn't the time to ask for anything. 230 00:10:27,875 --> 00:10:29,625 -We should take it without her knowing. -Avi. 231 00:10:29,708 --> 00:10:32,500 It's on her dress! If we could get her to take the dress off-- 232 00:10:32,583 --> 00:10:35,375 Are you suggesting one of us seduces Uncle Barry's girlfriend? 233 00:10:35,458 --> 00:10:37,041 I could spill some wine on her. 234 00:10:37,125 --> 00:10:38,750 And I could wait in the closet 235 00:10:38,833 --> 00:10:41,458 and grab the brooch off the dress after she changes. 236 00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,375 Yes! Wait. Is you hiding in an old lady's closet 237 00:10:44,458 --> 00:10:46,041 -sort of problematic? -Right. 238 00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:48,791 Not to mention a 12-year-old walking around with wine. 239 00:10:48,875 --> 00:10:52,416 -You do the closet, I'll spill the drink! -Switch the hiding and spilling. 240 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,541 -Let's do this. -Perfect! I don't approve, 241 00:10:54,625 --> 00:10:55,833 but I like to be included. 242 00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:57,166 Go Schwoopers! 243 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:03,250 Shira, it means so much that you came out for this. 244 00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:05,083 Joni, we're family. 245 00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:08,416 In fact, I brought something. It's a little corny. 246 00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,541 I know he had a full, long life, 247 00:11:10,625 --> 00:11:13,916 but it still feels like things were cut short, you know? 248 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:19,250 I know. It never feels like enough. 249 00:11:20,291 --> 00:11:22,041 But specifically with my grandpa. 250 00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:24,958 Your grandparents died young. You probably don't remember them. 251 00:11:25,041 --> 00:11:27,916 It almost hurts more because he lived so long. 252 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:28,875 Mm-hm. 253 00:11:28,958 --> 00:11:30,500 Hey, I wanted to give you this. 254 00:11:30,583 --> 00:11:33,041 -You can put that on the table. -Well, it's for you, 255 00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:35,291 'cause you love corn on the cob so much. 256 00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:38,000 -I know how it comforts you. -What are you talking about? 257 00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:40,750 -I don't love corn on the cob. -That's weird. Really? 258 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:43,833 Because you were chowing down on it at my mom's funeral. 259 00:11:43,916 --> 00:11:45,250 What? No, I wasn't. 260 00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,750 You ate the corn, Joni. Everyone saw. 261 00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:50,750 -You'd make an accusation-- -Whipped it out like Jeffrey Toobin. 262 00:11:50,833 --> 00:11:52,875 Today of all days? I have to go. 263 00:11:52,958 --> 00:11:54,375 -Go eat some corn. -No! 264 00:11:55,375 --> 00:11:57,333 So, did that go about how you imagined it? 265 00:11:57,416 --> 00:11:59,458 I'm still 80% sure she ate the corn. 266 00:11:59,541 --> 00:12:02,833 Why would you do any of that if you weren't 100% sure? 267 00:12:02,916 --> 00:12:04,833 -Oh God! -Oh! I'm so sorry. 268 00:12:04,916 --> 00:12:07,041 It's okay. I'll change. 269 00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:08,458 Yes, great idea. 270 00:12:08,541 --> 00:12:10,625 It's just a Donna Karan original. 271 00:12:10,708 --> 00:12:12,875 Okay. 272 00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:19,458 Oh gosh. 273 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,041 Come on, come on, come on. 274 00:12:24,541 --> 00:12:26,041 Ow! What the-- 275 00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:28,125 Ah! 276 00:12:41,416 --> 00:12:42,416 Shoes! 277 00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:46,250 What are you doing here? 278 00:12:48,416 --> 00:12:51,333 I miss him! 279 00:12:51,416 --> 00:12:53,666 Oh, sweetheart. 280 00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:58,416 You're in Yermo? Where is that? 281 00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:01,125 -Halfway to LA? I busted a tire. -Oy. 282 00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:03,458 There's no way I'll make it home before sundown, 283 00:13:03,541 --> 00:13:06,000 so I'm just gonna camp out here until after Shabbat. 284 00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:07,583 Oh no. Yoshi. 285 00:13:07,666 --> 00:13:09,875 No, it's fine. Look, I checked into the Yermotel. 286 00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:12,958 I've got plenty of food, a book to read. I've got a new cat, and… 287 00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:15,958 Oh, uh-oh. The cat just ate my food and threw up in my book, 288 00:13:16,041 --> 00:13:17,500 so, okay, I gotta go. 289 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:22,875 I don't feel good about him being out there by himself. 290 00:13:22,958 --> 00:13:25,000 What can he do? He won't drive on Shabbat. 291 00:13:25,083 --> 00:13:28,041 We could drive to him. Do a family Shabbat together in the desert. 292 00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:29,625 -Yeah… -What happened? You get it? 293 00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:32,916 It's still upstairs, but Vivian and I, like, kind of bonded. 294 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,875 No one talks about that relationship with 295 00:13:34,958 --> 00:13:37,750 your great-great-uncle- through-marriage's-widowed-girlfriend. 296 00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:39,583 We should get going if we're gonna go. 297 00:13:39,666 --> 00:13:41,333 But we're so close to getting that brooch! 298 00:13:41,416 --> 00:13:43,500 Mom would want us to get that brooch. 299 00:13:43,583 --> 00:13:47,208 Yeah, and she would want me to go through all the family photos in this house 300 00:13:47,291 --> 00:13:49,541 to find evidence of Joni Klein eating corn, 301 00:13:49,625 --> 00:13:52,583 which I will find, so that I could throw it in her smug face. 302 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,916 So you're trying to steal jewels from an old lady, 303 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,500 and something about corn that I don't quite follow, 304 00:13:57,583 --> 00:14:00,208 while your brother is wandering the desert alone. 305 00:14:01,416 --> 00:14:05,041 Yeah. What are we doing? Let's go do Shabbat with Yoshi. 306 00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:07,625 No, we're all here. He left. 307 00:14:07,708 --> 00:14:09,208 Okay? I don't want to do Shabbat! 308 00:14:09,291 --> 00:14:11,291 We did it every week. I never got the appeal. 309 00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:12,458 We know, Avi. 310 00:14:12,541 --> 00:14:15,583 None of it works. I did the mourner's kaddish when Mom died. 311 00:14:15,666 --> 00:14:18,416 I covered the mirrors. I ripped the little ribbon. 312 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,208 I did all the stuff! 313 00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:23,416 And it just felt like I was doing a bunch of stuff. 314 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:24,791 What's the point? 315 00:14:24,875 --> 00:14:29,541 So now I'm trying to get her brooch, which I know she would have wanted. 316 00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:32,875 Avi, what Mom would want is for us to be together. 317 00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:42,583 Okay, easy there, buddy. 318 00:14:42,666 --> 00:14:45,791 You can't drive, you maniac. 319 00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:48,458 Sorry that I called you a maniac. I was being too jocular. 320 00:14:48,541 --> 00:14:49,583 Huh? 321 00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:51,375 Surprise! 322 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,541 No one told me we were yelling surprise. I didn't know. 323 00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,166 Oh, my God. Come in. Come in. 324 00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:56,250 And who is this? 325 00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:57,416 This is my wife. 326 00:14:57,500 --> 00:15:00,750 We're not allowed to have pets in the motel room. 327 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,083 Uncle Yoshi! We're going to make Shabbat! 328 00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:04,208 Show him! Show him! 329 00:15:04,291 --> 00:15:09,208 Okay, so we stopped at 7-Eleven. For the kiddush, we found grape soda. 330 00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:11,750 They were out of challah, but we got Hawaiian rolls, 331 00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:14,958 because what is aloha if not a tropical shalom? 332 00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:15,875 -Ta-da! -Very nice. 333 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,375 They didn't have any kippahs, so instead I got hats. 334 00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:21,791 I picked out the candles. Locally sourced beeswax, baby. 335 00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:25,000 And we got these candlesticks from the Judaica store in Barstow, 336 00:15:25,083 --> 00:15:26,875 which we probably should have gone to first. 337 00:15:26,958 --> 00:15:30,875 Oh wow. But we can't light candles. It's already dark out. 338 00:15:30,958 --> 00:15:32,291 It's dark-ish. 339 00:15:32,375 --> 00:15:35,833 We came all this way for you. We can't light the candles? It's Shabbat. 340 00:15:35,916 --> 00:15:39,833 You light the candles before Shabbat. That's why you do it right at sundown. 341 00:15:39,916 --> 00:15:41,208 Fine, we won't have candles. 342 00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:44,916 -We'll just go right to the kiddush. -It's not Shabbat unless we do candles! 343 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,500 -How 'bout pretend candles? -What are you talking about? 344 00:15:47,583 --> 00:15:50,833 -It has to be real for Shabbat! -Okay! Hey, everyone's a stickler. 345 00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:53,166 What if I light the candles? Would that be okay? 346 00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:54,541 Yeah, like a Shabbos goy. 347 00:15:54,625 --> 00:15:58,583 Yeah, but she's not a goy. I can't let her break Shabbat to make Shabbat for me. 348 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,166 -It's not for you. -Why are you here if not for me? 349 00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:04,458 -You can't fool Hashem. -You think Hashem's paying attention? 350 00:16:04,541 --> 00:16:07,375 It's his day off. He's probably getting drunk at a Margaritaville. 351 00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:10,041 Why follow the rules if you're not gonna follow the rules? 352 00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:14,000 -I'm a goy. I can light the candles. -Hannah, you don't have to. 353 00:16:14,083 --> 00:16:16,333 I'm the only person here who's not Jewish. 354 00:16:16,416 --> 00:16:18,166 That's a loophole, right? 355 00:16:18,875 --> 00:16:23,166 Okay. Okay, yes. It's okay if Hannah lights the candles. 356 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,333 But it can't be for me. It has to be for her. 357 00:16:25,416 --> 00:16:26,875 -We get it. -I am doing it for me. 358 00:16:26,958 --> 00:16:28,458 I'm minding my own beeswax. 359 00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:30,625 Um… 360 00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:33,958 Isn't there a blessing I'm supposed to utilize? 361 00:16:34,041 --> 00:16:35,541 You do the blessing after. 362 00:16:41,791 --> 00:16:43,375 Okay, and you go like this. 363 00:16:44,791 --> 00:16:46,375 Why? What does that mean? 364 00:16:46,458 --> 00:16:49,916 Well, I don't know. But you go like this. 365 00:16:59,833 --> 00:17:01,666 Baruch attah adonai… 366 00:17:04,083 --> 00:17:05,791 Eloheinu melech ha-olam… 367 00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:11,583 Asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav vitzivanu… 368 00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:18,000 L’hadlik ner shel Shabbat. 369 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,333 Amen. 370 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,375 Hm. 371 00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:24,458 Amen. 372 00:17:28,291 --> 00:17:31,875 Wait, stop, stop, stop. Okay. You have to tell this story. 373 00:17:31,958 --> 00:17:33,500 So your mother was eating lunch. 374 00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:35,291 And he fell through the ceiling? 375 00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:38,458 Yeah, he was in the attic, and his legs fell through! 376 00:17:40,166 --> 00:17:43,625 So they're dangling over the dining room like a chandelier. 377 00:17:43,708 --> 00:17:44,541 Son of a… 378 00:17:44,625 --> 00:17:46,208 So your mother, your grandmother-- 379 00:17:46,291 --> 00:17:48,666 Wait, why was Mom alone at Uncle Barry's house? 380 00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:52,750 -That's the story. I never asked. -Where was Aunt Sylvia? Or Bubbe? 381 00:17:52,833 --> 00:17:56,166 It was her and Uncle Barry. Uncle Barry's legs fell through the ceiling. 382 00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:57,625 No, it just seems kind of weird. 383 00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,583 Everyone else went to the store. 384 00:17:59,666 --> 00:18:01,166 -Who cares? -But the nail polish… 385 00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:04,833 Right, thank you. So instead of helping Uncle Barry get unstuck, 386 00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:06,333 she painted his toenails. 387 00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:09,375 -What are you doing? Stop! -Stop squirming. I'm making you pretty. 388 00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:13,833 Okay, okay, okay. I have an Uncle Barry question. 389 00:18:13,916 --> 00:18:16,833 Isn't he where the "schnook is entitled" thing comes from? 390 00:18:16,916 --> 00:18:18,958 -That's from something? -My God, that's right! 391 00:18:19,041 --> 00:18:21,333 You don't remember? It was Bubbe's funeral. 392 00:18:22,375 --> 00:18:23,375 It was the shiva. 393 00:18:23,458 --> 00:18:27,083 Yes, and someone asked Uncle Barry about one of his shady clients. 394 00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:29,791 -What client? -He had so many shady clients. 395 00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:32,458 The bank guy, the insurance guy, there was a mob guy. 396 00:18:32,541 --> 00:18:34,250 It was Aunt Carol's boyfriend, Toby. 397 00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:35,333 -The client? -Yes! 398 00:18:35,416 --> 00:18:37,375 No, the guy who asked Uncle Barry about it. 399 00:18:37,458 --> 00:18:40,250 Yes, they're mourning amidst the kugel, and Toby goes-- 400 00:18:40,333 --> 00:18:42,875 Barry, how can you represent that guy? 401 00:18:42,958 --> 00:18:46,458 Oh, it's very easy. He pays me money, and I work for him. 402 00:18:46,541 --> 00:18:49,625 -Toby can't keep well enough alone. -So classic Toby. 403 00:18:49,708 --> 00:18:51,541 But I see him on the news. 404 00:18:51,625 --> 00:18:54,583 Every time he opens his mouth, you can tell he's a schnook. 405 00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:58,083 He may be a schnook, but that doesn't mean that he's a crook. 406 00:18:58,166 --> 00:18:59,041 Wait, but he also-- 407 00:18:59,125 --> 00:19:02,750 And then he gets very self-righteous, you know, up on his soapbox. 408 00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:07,041 After all, is not a schnook entitled to a presumption of innocence? 409 00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:09,583 So, of course, the bits start immediately. 410 00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:14,208 Hold on. Just to set the scene, it was a very emotional day. 411 00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:15,750 I think everyone needed a break. 412 00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:20,208 Excuse me, is not a schnook entitled to a little schmear for his bagel? 413 00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:24,666 Can I sit in this chair? Or is a schnook not entitled? 414 00:19:26,083 --> 00:19:29,666 Excuse me, you laugh, but a schnook is entitled. 415 00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:32,375 Which, of course, made everyone laugh even more. 416 00:19:32,458 --> 00:19:34,375 Wait a minute, is that when Mom threw the plate? 417 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:36,708 Grandma threw a plate? 418 00:19:36,791 --> 00:19:38,083 No, that was Passover. 419 00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:41,666 No, it was the shiva because of Uncle Barry. 420 00:19:41,750 --> 00:19:44,166 No, you're both right. She did throw a plate at the shiva, 421 00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,416 and she also threw a plate at Passover one year. 422 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:47,833 Why did she throw a plate? 423 00:19:50,125 --> 00:19:51,791 Why are you laughing? 424 00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:54,916 Why are you all laughing? 425 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,583 My mother is dead! 426 00:19:58,208 --> 00:19:59,833 Nobody should be laughing. 427 00:19:59,916 --> 00:20:04,250 Naomi, I think Annie would want us to be happy. 428 00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:05,750 No, she wouldn't. 429 00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:08,791 She would want us to be sad because she's dead. 430 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,250 She would want us to be sad about that. 431 00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:20,416 I think Mom would appreciate the irony 432 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,958 that we're all laughing at Uncle Barry's shiva. 433 00:20:23,041 --> 00:20:24,833 We're not even at his shiva. 434 00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:29,041 Well, she'd like that we're talking about her. 435 00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:32,250 Yeah, but she'd be sad that she's missing it. 436 00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:35,125 I'm sad we never got to do this for her. 437 00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:37,500 Everything was so hectic. 438 00:20:37,583 --> 00:20:39,458 She never got a real memorial. 439 00:20:39,541 --> 00:20:41,666 We could always still do a memorial. 440 00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:44,958 I think we are the memorial. 441 00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:47,083 Mm. 442 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:54,083 We need happy reasons to be together. 443 00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:57,625 It can't just be funerals and shivas and grave unveilings. 444 00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:16,625 I want to tell you something, but I don't want you to be mad. 445 00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:18,416 Yeah, loving this already. 446 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,291 I've been thinking about 447 00:21:20,375 --> 00:21:23,875 what it would be like if I had a bat mitzvah. 448 00:21:23,958 --> 00:21:27,041 And, uh, what do you think it would be like? 449 00:21:27,125 --> 00:21:30,666 The whole family could come, and I don't know… 450 00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:31,791 You don't want me to. 451 00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:35,916 Cannibal, I want you to do what you want to do. 452 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,041 But you think it's dumb. 453 00:21:38,125 --> 00:21:40,333 I think a lot of things are dumb. 454 00:21:40,416 --> 00:21:44,208 It's not about me. If you want a bat mitzvah for you-- 455 00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:47,833 But like, am I even allowed? 456 00:21:47,916 --> 00:21:49,083 What's allowed? 457 00:21:49,166 --> 00:21:51,958 You think the Jew police are going to burst into the synagogue 458 00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:53,916 like Dustin Hoffman at the end of The Graduate? 459 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:54,833 Ugh! 460 00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:56,916 Did you just tell me the end of The Graduate? 461 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,916 It came out 50 years ago. If you haven't seen it by now, that's on you. 462 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,000 Hm. 463 00:22:02,083 --> 00:22:05,416 But I'm not really Jewish, right? 464 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,750 I'm a loophole. 465 00:22:06,833 --> 00:22:09,833 Uh, in certain contexts, but… 466 00:22:09,916 --> 00:22:14,125 I don't think there's any one thing that makes you Jewish or not Jewish. 467 00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:16,166 You get stomach aches like a Jew. 468 00:22:16,250 --> 00:22:19,083 You say "ungapatchka." If you want a bat mitzvah… 469 00:22:19,166 --> 00:22:21,333 You don't think it's, like, cultural appropriation? 470 00:22:21,416 --> 00:22:23,000 Uh, cultural approp… 471 00:22:23,083 --> 00:22:26,708 Look, if Adolf Hitler saw you, I don't think he'd be doing the math 472 00:22:26,791 --> 00:22:30,083 on technically how halachically Jewish you are. 473 00:22:30,166 --> 00:22:32,875 He'd throw you in the oven with the rest of us. 474 00:22:32,958 --> 00:22:34,625 I mean, I guess? 475 00:22:34,708 --> 00:22:36,750 So why shouldn't you get the fun stuff too? 476 00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:39,041 I go by Hitler rules. 477 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:40,958 If you're Jewish enough for Hitler, 478 00:22:41,041 --> 00:22:42,958 -you're Jewish enough for me. -Huh. 479 00:22:44,166 --> 00:22:47,416 But was I Jewish enough for Grandma? 480 00:22:49,541 --> 00:22:54,000 Hannah, your grandmother thought you were perfect. 481 00:22:54,083 --> 00:22:58,166 There's nothing about you that wasn't enough for her. 482 00:23:00,750 --> 00:23:04,250 Okay. Well, I'll keep thinking about it. 483 00:23:05,541 --> 00:23:06,541 Bus. 484 00:23:07,708 --> 00:23:08,708 Hey. 485 00:23:10,125 --> 00:23:11,416 You know? 486 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,125 Yeah, I know. I love you too, Dad. 487 00:23:32,916 --> 00:23:38,916 When I close my eyes I’m going home 488 00:23:41,125 --> 00:23:47,583 Green mountains and cloudy days Are where I’m bound 489 00:23:47,666 --> 00:23:52,541 I got my rooftops and old haunts 490 00:23:52,625 --> 00:23:55,375 Townies out in the cold 491 00:23:55,458 --> 00:24:01,541 All those legends and lost souls Still hanging round 492 00:24:03,625 --> 00:24:10,541 Sitting under the falling leaves Wondering where I’ll go 493 00:24:10,625 --> 00:24:14,541 I’ll be where the rivers meet 494 00:24:14,625 --> 00:24:18,541 Looking for answers That I’ll never know here I’ll go