[mellow dance music playing]
I just think 39 is gonna be an amazing year.
Like, I say I'mma do something, and I actually do it.
I'm a business owner. I'm a business owner!
-I own a business! -[chuckles]
God, this age is amazing.
Why was I so scared of it? I don't understand.
-[Marley] Mm-mm. -You still tryin' to have kids?
-What are you… -You trying to yuck my yum?
Why would you ask her somethin' like that on her birthday?
-What is wrong with you? -What?
Excuse me, Dr. Phil, what are you talkin' about?
I j… I mean, I just thought we was all just sharin' and talkin'. Thirty-nine!
One necklace from the Erykah Badu line,
and now you're all up in a woman's business?
Look, I thought this was a rose-and-thorn situation. My bad.
What the fuck are you, some kinda nigga poet laureate or some shit?
All right, all right, all right!
[cheering and applause]
Okay, okay.
Now, y'all know it would not be
a Mavis Beaumont birthday extravaganza
without some bad bitches shakin' ass and dick up in here.
[cheering]
[Peppermint] Now, welcome to the stage
Precinct 69.
[sultry music playing]
[Peppermint] Give it up for Judge Boot-ay.
Booty!
[Peppermint] Captain Ramrod is about to hose you down
and get you all wet.
Whoa!
[cheering and applause]
Oh! Best birthday ever!
Someone please call 911 'cause Officer Longstroke
is gonna patrol your home with his nightstick.
[cheering]
Everybody down on the fucking ground!
-Oh my God. -[cheering stops]
And put your ass where I can see it.
[cheering and applause]
Okay, I get it, I get it.
[sultry music continues]
Okay, yes!
♪ I like it like that, she… ♪
-What's up, Freckles? -[Mavis] What's up, Dimples? [chuckles]
-I was hopin' you were the birthday girl. -Oh, I am.
I've been over there checkin' you out all night.
-You have? -[man] Yeah.
-[Mavis] How old are you? -[man] Old enough.
[Mavis] Old enough to rent a car?
I need to frisk you.
Yo, I'd really like to take you out sometime.
That number calls my phone.
Oh, that makes sense.
-[man] Yeah. -Yeah.
Oh wow! Wow-wow-wow-wee-wow!
[funky beat playing]
♪ Okay One time for the big girls in the crowd ♪
♪ Hey! Hear me now ♪
♪ Go on, sis, yeah Show 'em how to work it out ♪
-[sexy music playing] -♪ For you, you know I break the rules ♪
♪ I don't need nobody's body ♪
♪ To make me feel this good ♪
♪ Yeah, you make me feel so good ♪
♪ Come get me hot like you promised ♪
♪ Hot like you promised ♪
♪ You know that I know you want it ♪
♪ I know you want it ♪
♪ You say I'm good under pressure ♪
♪ Good under pressure ♪
♪ You know that I… ♪
Wow.
Marley, that was…
[music fades out]
…amazing.
What the fuck?
[Daphne] Baby, are you crying?
Whoa! Are you okay, babe?
I'm good. I'm great. [chuckles]
I'm so good. You good? I'm great. Uh…
-[thud] -Agh!
Oh!
Why the fuck is this here?
You know you don't have to go, right?
I got business. The markets aren't gonna Dow and Jones all by themselves, okay?
[tense music playing]
[chuckles] Bye.
See, that's the thing about the old cuts of men's suits.
Like, they just don't fit a big chest or hips.
Yeah, it's my dad's. It doesn't quite fit me,
but I wanted to surprise him and wear it to his retirement party.
Aw, that's so special. I love that. You know what?
Day. Day'll get you suited up.
-Thank you. -Thanks.
-Mavis. -Hey.
Shut up. She's right behind me.
She doesn't know she wasn't invited to your birthday party.
She was invited to my party.
-I needed the night off. -What?
Hi. Oh, it's a hug.
I'm scared. That's nice. It feels really sincere.
Will you look at this place?
I can't believe you turned down working for me exclusively to, uh…
oh… open a… indoor campsite.
Okay, thank you? Uh, can I give you a tour?
Natasha, say you'd like to see the place.
You'd like to see the place.
[squealing] Yeah, okay!
Over here, we have our corner where you can get final touches
before you go out for the evening. It's called our zhuzhing station.
-Ugh, I love a gay verb. -Same, bitch. You know what it is.
And over here, we have this rack called "On the Plus Side," kind of like--
Oh, Mavis. How long is this tour?
Feels like I've been here for an hour.
I mean, obviously, I came here because I need something.
That took longer than I thought.
I am getting the Icon Award from Harper's Bazaar. Applause.
And I would like you to style me.
I don't know who else is getting the award. Probably Bella, Gigi Hadid.
What? Oh my God. Me?
Mavis Jolie Beaumont styling for Harper's Bazaar.
It's almost bizarre. Oh my God! I just can't!
Did I get a little moist? Maybe.
-Did she just get Botox? -Yeah.
But also, I don't care.
What's the vibe? What are you feeling? What do you wanna look like?
We're going for empowering but scary.
But only to other women.
Specificity I really like. That's one thing about you is…
I am just texting my assistant to re-up my Xanax
because I forgot what it's like working with you.
Oh, Bruce, just give her some of mine, please.
-[Mavis] Oh! -Catch.
Thanks. You got the good kind.
How many can I have?
I told you though. I told you. I told you.
You bougie. Dah! You are.
And I'm right. I know you are.
Got me at this little fancy spot, drinking champagne with my pinkie up.
So you do this with all your clients?
-I mean… only the special ones. -Oh, the special ones.
-The special ones. -Ooh, nice.
Cheers to your first big sale.
Yes, thank you for helping me get that 10K.
Mm-hmm. Now, you said you had some pieces to show me.
Oh, I do.
Check out… what I got for you.
-Yeah, okay. These are good. -Yeah?
Similar to the two we just sold.
-[Khalil] You don't like them? -Yes, I… I do.
-You-- -I do.
I can sell them.
I don't have anything that's, like… like new…
-Mm-hmm. -…new yet.
I'm at… Well, to be honest with you,
I'm in what's called a, uh… um… transitional phase.
Right? 'Cause… At least that's what my therapist said.
A Black male painter in therapy.
-Voluntarily? -Okay. See, why you gotta do that?
Yeah, look, I'm just… I'm, you know… I'm trying to… trying to evolve.
Right? And just, you know, see things through a more, you know, improved lens.
Get to know myself better. Yeah.
That's incredible, and I can't wait to see what you are gonna create.
I feel like I'm so lucky that I met you
when you're right on the cusp of creating new and exciting work.
Yep. That's… I mean… You see it.
That's where I'm at. I'm at… I'm on the cusp.
I mean… I mean, it's a… Wait till you see.
Ooh!
Iconic.
Exciting!
[laid-back music playing]
[Mavis gasps]
Are you robbing me? I didn't know things were that bad for you.
Excuse me. I'm looking for dildos, strap-ons.
Any funeral plans. I just got over my PTSD.
Mavis, I can personally vouch for Natasha. She promises to be on her best behavior.
And now, to present the Icon Award, legendary editor, Hannah Sommar.
Thank you. It's been such an honor…
Oh my God. We're breathing the same air. I'm gonna save some for later. [inhales]
-She would hate you. -Hurtful but truthful.
…paved their own way in fashion.
From Paulina Smirkova's iconic ads for Pan Am Airlines…
Brava. Look at you. Gorgeous.
…to Vivian Swallwell's culture-shocking moment,
riding topless on Michael Dukakis's tank.
Wow-wow-wow-wee-wow! [chuckles]
[whispers] Bruce, what is this?
[Sommar] Thank you.
And last but not least,
Natasha Karina's jaw-dropping cover
of our very own Harper's Bazaar 1993…
Where's Gigi?
[Sommar] …1991, and…
-No. -…1988.
[screams] No! No! Move, move!
-You're on your own. Natasha. -What do you mean I'm on my own?
Natasha, where are you, icon?
Say you're accepting the award on Natasha's behalf.
-What?! -[Sommar] Natasha?
Go! Go!
[Mavis] Hi.
How do I get… How do you get up?
Um… Oh, okay. Hi.
All right, everyone. [chuckles]
-[microphone feeds back] -Hi, Ms. Sommar.
So nice to meet you. You're amazing, and I'm Natasha's stylist.
And I'm also your biggest fan.
I mean, you are, um… just so iconic, and…
[Sommar] Oh, she's touched by an angel.
-Donate to whatever this is. -[Mavis] Oh. Uh…
-Security. -Oh! No, we don't need security.
-[Sommar] Security. -[Mavis] Wait.
-[man] All right, ma'am. Come on. -[Mavis] No, you got…
No. No, thank you. I…
[funky music playing]
-[Mavis] Hey, girl! -Oh, hey! Oh my goodness, you guys.
-Always feel like I'm coming to the MoMA. -Baby, you're at the Marley MoMA, okay?
-Hey. -[both] Mwah!
-What up? -[both] Mwah!
All right, I have some white wine. I have champagne.
Not the cheap shit you broke bitches drink.
-How is it? -This feels…
-[Khalil] This how you do it? -No. Okay. It's, uh…
-I love the floor. -[Marley] Sit your ass on the floor.
This is not comfortable.
Get your little pretty DeBarge ass up out of my chair.
-How much did you spend on this chair? -[Marley] Khalil! Damn it.
You don't know how to sit in it because this is for the queen's ass.
Oh. Yeah?
-Oh. -[thud]
Oh!
[Mavis] You okay?
Don't you fuckin' ask.
-We can circle back. -I was just pointing.
-Just pointing at it. -Not a big deal at all.
I'm assuming this is a Kara Walker original?
[Marley] Duh! [scoffs] What you think?
I mean, I guess it's cool. I mean, if, you know…
if you like silhouettes and shit.
I mean, she not better than me just because she actually finishes her art
or, you know, people like it.
You okay, Khalil? What's goin' on?
So Simone is excited about this, like, you know, new artistic phase that I'm in.
But she want new shit. I ain't got new shit.
What if the new shit don't compare to the old shit?
Then she gon' think I'm shit. Right?
I mean, how come nobody ever tells you
that it's hard when somebody believes in you?
Especially when they fine as fuck.
It feels like you don't wanna hear this right now,
but Simone is setting the bar exactly where it needs to be.
You know, like, you are so talented,
and you have so much to show the world, and are you gonna eat this cod cheek?
Because you do a lotta talking and not a lotta eating.
Mm! So good!
Khalil, babe, just… just stop acting like a little bitch, okay?
Just say bitch. You don't have to say "little" like that.
Okay? And… and… and what's up, okay?
'Cause you the one limpin' around here like Sandra Bullock in Gravity.
Ooh, the accuracy. That was a good movie.
-Mm-hmm. -[Marley] Okay, fine.
I'll tell you.
What happened was I
had a nice-ass time
with this beautiful-ass woman
that my heart feels warm for.
And I…
I got too comfy. I did. I got too comfy.
And I let out this
tiny, weak-ass
-tear… -Queef?
Tear.
In gratitude to the condition that I had found myself in, and, um…
Oh God. Now she knows.
-I'm a cuck. -[Mavis] Okay.
-[Khalil laughing] -A fuckin' bitch.
Don't laugh, Khalil.
Yo, I'm sorry, but I ain't never seen you like this.
And if either of you tell anyone, I will kill the both of you. Trust me.
I drop a pin before I come.
I believe, but I also think my art would skyrocket. The value, right?
That's nice. Look at you half full. Go off.
-Yeah, thank you. -Mm-hmm.
And you wanna know what this bitch had the audacity to do?
She rolled up to some event with some ho
that I found out was her ex-wife
and took a whole bunch of photos, all lovey-dovey,
and then posted the shit online.
Look at this.
You see this shit? Look!
-Oh, yeah. -[Marley] Look at it.
-I'm looking. You see it, Khalil? -No, I see it. Yeah, I see… I see it.
It looks… like people standing in a line
and breathing next to each other and…
Breathing is foreplay, okay, honey? I mean, whose side are you on?
Okay.
Okay, Mavis, don't get us killed. Uh, Marley, let me say this.
You are the most honest person I've ever met. I mean, painfully honest.
-Brutally honest. -Insanely honest.
[phone vibrates]
Talk to Daphne, or this shit ain't gonna work.
You guys, I gotta go.
-Right now? -Yeah, I got some work shit. Natasha!
♪ Is this a lasting treasure ♪
♪ Or just a moment's ♪
♪ Pleasure? ♪
-♪ Shall I believe ♪ -♪ Ah ♪
-♪ The magic of your sigh? ♪ -♪ Ah ♪
♪ Will you still love me ♪
♪ Tomorrow? ♪
[Natasha sobs]
-♪ Ton… ♪ -[karaoke track continues]
Wait, what?
[man] ♪ Sha, la, la, la ♪
-[Mavis] O… kay. -Come on.
♪ Sha, la, la, la, la ♪
Natasha.
What's goin' on? You leave without saying anything.
You embarrass me in front of Hannah Sommar.
I had to send her a bouquet I can't even afford,
and I hope that I don't look stalkerish.
And then you come to Brooklyn,
and you're keepin' the queens and the small audience
as, like, what, an emotional hostage for this sad-ass talent show?
I came to Brooklyn
because I didn't want people that I care about to see me like this.
I'm not long for this world, Mavis.
[Natasha] Oh!
What?
It came for me, like it comes for all of us at one point.
-And… -Oh.
…it's in the late stages, and there's no cure.
Oh my God. I am so sorry. I had no idea you were sick.
Mavis, it's menopause.
It's menopause?
Okay, why did you use the M word?
Bruce, it's violent.
Also, a couple of the other icons at the luncheon
were a little bit older than she expected, so…
My body is betraying me.
All the moisture is evaporating,
but I still wake up in the middle of the night,
sweating through my sheets.
Like, I don't even know this person, Mavis.
All I know is that it's her time…
is up for being sexy and relevant.
Natasha, you got a Icon award.
That literally means you will be sexy and relevant forever.
Icon? More like "Icannot"!
They were trying to put us out to pasture.
It's like the late, great Samantha Jones once said.
No one wants to fuck Grandma's pussy.
Wow!
Natasha, I've put so much unrealistic pressure on myself about aging.
I mean, I just turned 39, right?
Mm. Mm-mm, girl. That's not cute. Don't do that.
Excuse me? You came to my birthday party. See, that's what I'm talking about.
Why are we making getting old seem like a bad thing?
It's not. It's a beautiful thing.
We know more. We're layered.
I mean, there was even a stripper at my birthday party. You seen him.
He was young, and he was trying to get on this high yellow booty for a ride
like it was an Ikea shelf.
Reaching for the top-shelf liquor.
Top shelf is my booty.
We just need to get you to remember that you're sexy. It's in there.
-And I know that's right. -[Mavis] Okay.
Am I talking too loud, or are you just nosy?
Both, bitch.
Listen, you just gave me an idea for my next pop-up event.
I think you should come. It'll be really good for you.
Pop into my pop-up. We'll pop off.
Well… I am not coming to anything without getting an appearance fee.
Are you coming?
[Bruce sighs]
That's a yes, right?
Do you know how many times I've heard the phrase "Grandma's pussy" this week?
-I know how many times I heard it today. -Grandma's pussy, grandma's pussy.
Grandma's pussy grandma's pussy, grandma's pussy,
grandma's pussy, grandma's pussy.
A lot more than that, actually.
[determined music playing]
[knocking continues]
Explain this, bitch.
That's an interesting greeting.
Daphne, you got me out here lookin' like a damn fool.
I'm tellin' anyone who will listen how much I like you,
just to see you posting pictures of you and your ex
on your goddamn Instagram.
My ex-wife and I have a nonprofit together that we started seven years ago.
Okay, so?
So, unlike the usual bisexual scorched-earth campaign,
when lesbians break up, we move out, and then we move next door.
Sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively.
My ex and I have a nonprofit-business baby together,
and I plan on having her in my life for a long time.
I'm sorry if that picture caught you off guard,
but I'm even more sorry
that I didn't create an environment where you felt safe enough,
where you can come to me with your softness and vulnerability
instead of feeling the need to attack and avoid.
[gentle music playing]
["UMI Says" by Mos Def playing]
♪ I don't wanna write this down I wanna tell you… ♪
You better than bein' on the cusp.
♪ I don't wanna take no time… ♪
That's right. Who are you?
You do art.
That's why you a artist. Let's get that shit.
♪ For you or me ♪
♪ Life is not promised ♪
♪ Tomorrow may never show up ♪
♪ For you and me This life is not promised ♪
♪ I ain't no perfect man… ♪
-The fuck? ♪ I'm tryna do the best that I can…♪
The fuck is that?
♪ I ain't no perfect man ♪
♪ I'm tryna do the best that I can ♪
♪ With what it is I have ♪
♪ Put my heart and soul into this song Yes, yes ♪
[energetic music playing]
[Mavis] Ooh, yes!
Oh, Paulina, this is it, honey.
There you go. Ooh!
Serving body and grace in leather and lace.
Let me know if you need help with the little corset.
You should have enough slack in there.
Oh, what are you old bitches doing here, Auntie Con?
What is this, a Talbots sample sale?
-Oh! -[both cackle]
Welcome to your "aging like a fine wine" party
slash my second pop-up.
Ooh, did someone say it gets greater later?
[Mavis] Yes, we did!
-Oh, thank you so much, baby. -Of course.
I love this pop-up, and I love the collabo we're doing.
-Ayo. -Oh, and look at Natasha.
Oh!
I have not seen you since Gayle King's Sadie Hawkins party.
Oh! [chuckles politely] Bevy. Mwah, mwah.
Well, you look the fuck good.
Mm, that's right, and it's such a privilege to be here with you ladies,
celebratin' this fabulous moment
and to know that sexiness has no expiration date.
And honestly, you should be tellin' the world how you feel about your age.
Don't be doin' it the other way around.
I've known you for what, a year, two years?
I haven't done my taxes, but the point is
whatever transitional phase you are going through,
you need to know that, no matter what, you are a sexy-ass bitch.
Yes, forever and always, always and forever, darling.
Okay. Nala!
[Nala] Mm-hmm!
Natasha Karina, you are the icon.
That's right. I pulled this rack just for you.
["Like Sugar" by Chaka Khan playing]
[Natasha] Mm!
-♪ It's like sugar… ♪ -[cheering]
♪ So sweet… ♪
[all cheering] That's it, that's the one. That's the one, bitch. Yes, Natasha!
-[cheering continues] -♪ When I feel the funk, I give in ♪
♪ Get up on a-yo' feet ♪
♪ Whoa, what a state that I'm in ♪
♪ Everybody here is dancin' ♪
♪ All I wanna do Is get your body next to mine, yeah ♪
♪ Baby won't you step it to me? ♪
♪ Come on out and make your move ♪
♪ Let me teach you somethin' 'Bout this funky, funky groove ♪
♪ It's like sugar, so sweet… ♪
[Mavis] Why are you here?
Did Hannah send you to thank me for the flowers that I sent her?
Yeah, and after she got the flowers that you sent,
she did ask me to look you up so that security would put you on the list
to not let you in to any of our future events.
That's not nice.
But then, we had a talk, and I told her about this event,
and she was impressed.
Hannah thinks this space would be perfect for a feature in Harper's.
Is it okay if our photographer takes some shots?
Ooh! You guys, we're gonna be in Harper's Bazaar!
-[phone ringing] -♪ Good enough… ♪
[song fades out]
[Mavis] Officer Longstroke? This is Mavis from CC Bloom.
Yes, Freckles.
Yeah, it was really good.
Yeah, it was a time. Um…
So you were at my birthday party, so you know how old I am,
but, uh, I don't know how old you are.
Oh.
Okay, I'd love that for us.
Yeah.
It did feel like you were flirting with me because, um…
this number did call your phone, so…
Yeah, I can't wait too. That sounds good to me.
[hip-hop beat playing]
♪ Betta know about me, babe ♪
♪ Mm ♪
♪ Betta know about me, babe ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I'm way too lit, I'm way to thick ♪
♪ Talk a lotta trash, but I could bag it ♪
♪ Betta know about me ♪
♪ Mm-mm, yeah ♪
♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Mm-mm, yeah ♪
♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Mm-mm, yeah ♪
♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Betta know about me, babe ♪ d bag it ♪