1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:02,878 (George Michael's "Faith" playing) 2 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:04,755 (tape rewinding) 3 00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:07,215 ♪ Faith, faith, faith ♪ 4 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,550 ♪ Baby ♪ 5 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:11,261 ♪ I know you're asking me to stay ♪ 6 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:13,764 ♪ Say please, please, please don't go away ♪ 7 00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,933 ♪ You say I'm giving you the blues ♪ 8 00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,810 ♪ Maybe ♪ 9 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Huh! ♪ 10 00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:20,228 ♪ You mean ♪ 11 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:21,647 ♪ Every word you say ♪ (popping loudly) 12 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:22,815 ♪ Can't help but think ♪ 13 00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,023 ♪ Of yesterday ♪ 14 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,734 ♪ And another who tied me down ♪ 15 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,277 ♪ To lover boy rules... ♪ 16 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,530 ADULT SHELDON: My father took pride in saying 17 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,949 that he ran our house like a tight ship. 18 00:00:31,991 --> 00:00:34,242 The ship got a lot looser when 19 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,162 my meemaw came over to babysit. (firecracker pops) 20 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:40,666 I bet a nickel. 21 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,626 Hang on there a minute, moon pie. 22 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,586 I want to teach you somethin'. 23 00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:45,671 Look at your cards, 24 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,631 and then look in the mirror. 25 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:49,299 Hey, I'm smiling. 26 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,342 (firecracker pops) Uh-huh. 27 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,426 And what does that 28 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,554 tell me about your cards? 29 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:54,889 That I like them? 30 00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,598 Attaboy. Now... 31 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,308 look at my face. 32 00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,727 (firecracker pops) Tell me 33 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,269 what you see. 34 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,354 That you're old. 35 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,481 It's a good thing I love you. 36 00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:07,026 (firecracker pops) I'm gonna look at my cards again. 37 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,237 You're unhappy. 38 00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:11,780 Which means...? 39 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,281 You don't have good cards. 40 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,658 Mm-hmm. (firecracker pops) 41 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:16,702 So... 42 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,287 I'm gonna see your nickel... 43 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,916 and raise you a quarter. Quarter? 44 00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,375 You can fold. 45 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,628 No. I have good cards; you have bad cards. 46 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:27,880 I'm in. 47 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,591 Nines and fives. Mm. 48 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,801 That's too bad. 49 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,929 Three queens. You lose! 50 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,555 (laughing) What? 51 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,348 But you weren't happy. 52 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:40,475 I made you think I was unhappy. But that's lying. 53 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,937 You lied to your moon pie. 54 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:45,064 I bluffed my moon pie. 55 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,526 Do people know about this? Sheldon, 56 00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:50,861 what's on a person's face 57 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:53,655 is not always what's in their heart. 58 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,449 Well, this changes everything. 59 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,409 How do you know who to trust? 60 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,953 You don't. 61 00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:01,622 That's what makes life interesting. 62 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:05,084 ADULT SHELDON: Meemaw liked to teach me things that kept me awake at night. 63 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,418 MARY: Mom, we're home! 64 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,211 In here! 65 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,797 What's he doing up? 66 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,090 Losin'. 67 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,424 (firecracker pops) 68 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,801 Hell is that? 69 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,469 I sent Georgie on a beer run, 70 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,429 and tipped him with firecrackers. 71 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,764 Oh, Mom. 72 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,432 (door opens) Was I supposed to stiff him? 73 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,516 (door closes) 74 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:25,020 I ate so much candy! 75 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,690 Okay. 76 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,484 They're all yours. 77 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,152 (chuckles) 78 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,654 (firecracker pops) 79 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,323 ♪ Faith, faith, faith. ♪ (groans) 80 00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:39,451 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 81 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,245 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 82 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,665 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 83 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,042 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 84 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:50,796 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 85 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,761 Sometimes people say to me, "Pastor Jeff, 86 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,554 how do you know there's a God?" 87 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,765 And I say, "It's simple math. 88 00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:04,183 God either exists or he doesn't." 89 00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:05,853 (chuckles): So let's be cynical. 90 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,939 Worst-case scenario, there's a 50-50 chance. 91 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,066 And I like those odds. 92 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,526 That's wrong. 93 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,653 Shelly, put your hand down. 94 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,030 Sorry. Please continue. 95 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,405 (chuckles) It's okay, Mary. 96 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,574 I-It's Sheldon, right? 97 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,576 Yes, sir. Well, Sheldon, 98 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,954 why don't you come on up here and tell me how I'm wrong. 99 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:25,706 No. Okay. 100 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:28,125 (chuckles) Let's give him a hand, everybody. 101 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:31,045 Mm. What's happening? 102 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,219 Shelly's gonna eat him alive. (chuckles) 103 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,721 PASTOR JEFF: So... 104 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,389 you were saying? 105 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,933 You've confused possibilities with probabilities. 106 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,852 According to your analogy, when I go home 107 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,813 I might find a million dollars on my bed or I might not. 108 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:52,232 In what universe is that 50-50? 109 00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:53,316 (congregation murmuring) 110 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,776 PASTOR JEFF: So what do you think 111 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,945 the odds are that God exists? 112 00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:58,655 I think they're zero. 113 00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,239 I believe in science. 114 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:01,658 (congregation ooh'ing, murmuring) 115 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,077 PASTOR JEFF: So you don't think 116 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,662 science and religion can go hand in hand? 117 00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:08,498 Science is facts, religion is faith. 118 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,500 I prefer facts. Mm. 119 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,086 I understand that. 120 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,754 Here's a cool fact for ya. 121 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,422 A lot of famous scientists 122 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:16,965 believed in God. 123 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,466 Isaac Newton. 124 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:19,843 Albert Einstein. 125 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,929 Even Charles Darwin. 126 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,805 (congregation ah'ing) 127 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:27,059 So Darwin's right about God and wrong about evolution? 128 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,643 Now you're gettin' it. 129 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,353 Let's give it up for Sheldon, everybody. 130 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,522 What a good sport. Oh. 131 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,315 (organ playing) 132 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,860 ADULT SHELDON: But I wasn't a good sport. 133 00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,737 At that moment, I vowed to come back 134 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:42,866 the following Sunday and destroy Pastor Jeff. 135 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,659 (knocking) 136 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,335 Uh, hello, Mr. Cooper. 137 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,629 Is Missy home? 138 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:59,340 Hello, Billy. No, she's at church. 139 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:02,010 I brought her eggs from my chickens. 140 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,720 I see that. 141 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:07,057 You can boil them or scramble them. 142 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,517 Okay. 143 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,771 I like fried. 144 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,315 Okay. 145 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:19,111 I don't like poached. 146 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,905 Okay. 147 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,492 Thank you for your time. 148 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,791 Okay. 149 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,836 MARY: You want me to cook those eggs for you, baby? 150 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,671 No. They're a gift. 151 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,589 Sorry. 152 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,133 He even wrote me a note. 153 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:45,137 "Eggs from your secret admirer. Billy." 154 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,014 GEORGE SR. (calls): Mary, can you come in here? 155 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,473 I'm cookin'. 156 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,725 I really need you to come in here. 157 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,727 What on earth? 158 00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,314 Uh-oh. 159 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,564 What? 160 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:57,941 Listen to this. 161 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,985 "French philosopher, 162 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,821 "mathematician and physicist, Blaise Pascal, 163 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:06,283 "argued a rational person should believe God exists 164 00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:09,161 "because you have everything to gain if you're right, 165 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,538 and nothing to lose if you're wrong." 166 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,748 Sounds right. 167 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,125 (footsteps approaching) 168 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,501 MARY: Meemaw is coming over 169 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,545 to watch you-- I gotta go. 170 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,755 Where? Daddy's not feeling good. 171 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,091 We're gonna go see a doctor. 172 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,052 Is he okay? He's gonna be fine. 173 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,678 You just sit right there. 174 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,263 Meemaw's on her way over to cook you dinner. 175 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,723 Can we come with you? 176 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,267 No. Just stay right there, don't move. 177 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,311 George, let's go. 178 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:47,074 How long are we supposed to sit here? 179 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,575 I don't know. 180 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:49,784 She said don't move. 181 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:53,496 She was very clear. 182 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,582 Hope I don't have to go to the bathroom. 183 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,209 (door opens) 184 00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,169 Don't worry! 185 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:00,879 Meemaw's here! 186 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,257 Everything's under control! 187 00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,883 Oh. (chuckles) 188 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,760 We haven't had dinner yet. 189 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:07,886 Really? 190 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,055 (groans) 191 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,557 I don't feel like cookin'. 192 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,772 I think my husband's having a heart attack! 193 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,067 NURSE: I need an RRT and a crash cart. 194 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,443 Over here. 195 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,988 Sir, are you having chest pains right now? 196 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,240 Yeah, a little bit. 197 00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:30,575 Any numbness or pain in your arms? 198 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,993 Maybe this one. 199 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,287 Shortness of breath? 200 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,704 Enough questions. 201 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,123 He's a fat, middle-aged man with chest pains. 202 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,540 Do something! 203 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,667 All right. Sorry about the fat, honey. 204 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,753 You said you liked me this way. 205 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,630 (grunts) 206 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:45,465 Is Daddy gonna be okay? 207 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,508 Oh, yeah. Your Pop-Pop used to have 208 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,677 little chest pains all the time. 209 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,721 Didn't he die of a heart attack? 210 00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:54,515 Well, for insurance purposes, yes. 211 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:56,977 (door opens) 212 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:59,104 Hey. What's goin' on? 213 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,981 Dad's in the hospital. 214 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,108 What? Why's Dad in the hospital? 215 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,651 He's gonna be fine. He had chest pains. 216 00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:06,569 He's gonna be fine. 217 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,405 What are we doin'? Why aren't we going to the hospital? 218 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:09,948 Nobody's goin' nowhere. 219 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,532 We're just gonna stay calm, 220 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:14,035 have a nice dinner, and wait for your mama to call 221 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,495 and tell us what's what. 222 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,914 I'm not hungry. 223 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,044 What did you mean by "insurance purposes"? 224 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,130 Just eat. 225 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,300 (laughter on TV) 226 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:35,515 What kind of Texan drinks pink wine? 227 00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,642 (phone rings) 228 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,314 Hello. 229 00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:43,731 Hi, Mom. Kids okay? 230 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,733 Yeah, they're fine. How's George? 231 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,445 I don't know. They're running tests. 232 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:51,906 Well, don't you worry about us. (chuckles) 233 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:54,868 Everything's under control here. 234 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,411 Okay. 235 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,788 I'll call you when I know more. 236 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,748 How you holdin' up? 237 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,792 I guess I'm okay. 238 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,212 Well, George is gonna pull through this, honey. 239 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,422 I guarantee it. 240 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,257 Thanks, Mom. 241 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,092 Thanks for bein' there. 242 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,719 You bet. 243 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,388 I'll call you later. 244 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,722 Okay. 245 00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,098 Bye. 246 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,435 What'd she say? 247 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:23,438 The doctors are doin' some tests, but, dollars to donuts, 248 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,566 your daddy's just got a bad case of gas. 249 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:28,902 Y'all two go get ready for bed. 250 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,487 I don't want to stay around here. 251 00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:32,906 I want to go to the hospital and see Dad. 252 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,991 Well, I want to go to Las Vegas and see Willie Nelson, 253 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,035 but that ain't gonna happen either. 254 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,953 This is stupid. 255 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,621 You know what's stupid? 256 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,249 I got to drink pink wine! 257 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:43,208 (door slams) 258 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,751 Meemaw? 259 00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:45,877 What? 260 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,712 Is Dad really okay? 261 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,131 Yes. 262 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:53,009 I hope you're not bluffing. 263 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,770 You asleep? 264 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,939 No. 265 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,857 Me neither. 266 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:11,236 Every time the phone rings, I get scared. 267 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,781 Me, too. 268 00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:16,950 (knocking) 269 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,411 I'm goin' to see Dad. You guys want to come? 270 00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,414 How? Meemaw said we have to stay here. 271 00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:24,541 You want to go or not? 272 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,711 ♪ ♪ 273 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,758 Shh. 274 00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,595 Shh. 275 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,305 Who do I shush? 276 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,348 Shh! Shh! 277 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,812 (snores softly) 278 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,284 (keys jangle) 279 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,413 (quietly): What are you doing? 280 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:05,248 I'm driving to the hospital. 281 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,666 You can come with me or stay here-- up to you. 282 00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,877 I'm comin'. 283 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,296 Sheldon? 284 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,506 You're 14. 285 00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:13,965 You don't know how to drive. 286 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,674 I drove a tractor at 4-H camp. 287 00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,177 It's the same thing. 288 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,513 But you sat on the farmer's lap. 289 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,763 Then stay here. 290 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,974 Come on, Missy. 291 00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:25,810 (snores loudly) 292 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:28,980 (engine starts) 293 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,485 (click) ♪ And I whine, I'm after you ♪ 294 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,236 What are you doin'? 295 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,030 Travelin' music. 296 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,323 SHELDON: Ugh. 297 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,033 I'm coming with you. 298 00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,868 Why are you wearin' my helmet? 299 00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:44,787 I don't expect this to end well. 300 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,122 And the pillows? 301 00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,458 Same answer. 302 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,377 Turn it off. I've got to concentrate. 303 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,003 Aw. 304 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,880 (music stops) Okay, 305 00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,507 seat belts, everybody. 306 00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,676 Please drive slowly. 307 00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,678 Relax. I know what I'm doin'. 308 00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:01,513 Whoa! Whoa! 309 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,097 ADULT SHELDON: I've often been asked 310 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,392 why I never learned to drive a car. 311 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:08,061 This night... 312 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,230 is your answer. 313 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,648 Please slow down. 314 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,400 I'm goin' eight miles an hour. 315 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,151 A cow just passed us. 316 00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,778 Do you know how to get to the hospital? Yeah. 317 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,864 It's right across the street from the Dairy Queen. 318 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,408 Which Dairy Queen? 319 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,617 What are you talkin' about? 320 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,826 There's two. 321 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,078 Really? 322 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,204 You're gonna hit it! 323 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,288 Which is the one Mom takes us to? 324 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,498 You're gonna hit it! 325 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,752 Ooh, you're in trouble now! 326 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,880 (phone ringing) 327 00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,777 Yeah? 328 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:01,072 What took you so long to answer? 329 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,199 Powdering my nose. What's it to ya? 330 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:06,578 Sorry I asked. Just wanted to give you an update. 331 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,955 Y... What's goin' on? 332 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,540 They want to run some more tests. 333 00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:12,667 They're gonna hold him overnight. 334 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,545 Oh. Oh, well, that's, that's nothin' to worry about. 335 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,338 That's just precautionary. 336 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:19,006 How are the kids? 337 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,175 Oh. (chuckles) They were a little worried, 338 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,470 but I handled it. 339 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:24,638 They sleepin'? 340 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,140 Um... 341 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:28,642 Yeah, yeah. 342 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,310 You bet. 343 00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,228 Thanks again for helpin'. 344 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,605 Oh, hey, 345 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:34,981 these are my grandchildren. 346 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,941 They are my blood. 347 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,652 Okay. I better go. 348 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,613 Okay. We'll talk later. 349 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,950 (exhales) 350 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,876 Son of a bitch. 351 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,256 I hate those kids. 352 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:03,551 ♪ ♪ 353 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,804 MISSY: Just admit it, we're lost. 354 00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,388 We're not lost. 355 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,432 Well, I sure don't see a hospital anywhere. 356 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:12,018 Why don't we ask somebody for directions? 357 00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,479 Because we're children in a car, genius. 358 00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:17,023 Dang it! 359 00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:18,733 Are you aiming for them? 360 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,860 Everybody just shut up. I got this. 361 00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,613 (siren wailing) 362 00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:27,116 Oh, no. We're going to jail. 363 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,535 Georgie's going to jail. 364 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,036 I'm saying I was kidnapped. 365 00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:31,538 SHELDON: That's a good plan. 366 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,289 You and I were kidnapped. 367 00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,792 If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail. 368 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:38,127 Oh, you better pull over. 369 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,843 GEORGE JR.: Oh, thank God. 370 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,512 Well, don't just sit there-- follow it. Why? 371 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,056 It's an ambulance-- it's going to the hospital. 372 00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,350 Hang on. 373 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,647 MISSY: How about I put the radio on real low? 374 00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,440 GEORGE JR.: Shut up. 375 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:01,735 Mary. 376 00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,027 Mom! 377 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,696 Where are they? Where's who? 378 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,198 More importantly... 379 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,703 ...how is George? SHELDON: Mom! 380 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:14,205 Ah. There they are! Hey. Oh. 381 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,874 MEEMAW: Ha! I lost the little rascals 382 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,625 in the... hall. 383 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,168 I want to see Dad. 384 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,461 Me, too. Me, too. 385 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:21,920 The doctors are with him now. 386 00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:23,172 I'll take you in a bit. 387 00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:24,424 Why are they here? 388 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,426 I think it's obvious. 389 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,052 They love their daddy. 390 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:31,305 No, I get that. Why aren't they home in bed? 391 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,104 Well, nobody could sleep. 392 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:40,939 I thought it was the right thing. 393 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,568 Good bluff. 394 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,612 Shh. 395 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:46,821 Okay, thank you. 396 00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,656 You all need anything? You hungry? 397 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:49,949 No. No, thank you. 398 00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:51,826 Okay, everybody sit tight. 399 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,078 I'm gonna go check on your dad. 400 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,206 Georgie. 401 00:15:58,165 --> 00:15:59,959 Give me my damn keys. 402 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,420 Oh, yeah. Here. 403 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,589 Thank you. 404 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,592 How did I beat you here? 405 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,761 We kept hitting garbage cans. 406 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:10,929 Oh, God. 407 00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:13,055 I need to wash my hands. 408 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,974 There are germs here that can kill you. Hold up. 409 00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:18,812 Now, y'all like it when your meemaw babysits. 410 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,564 Poker, candy, firecrackers. 411 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,190 Yes. Yeah. Yeah. 412 00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:25,359 Well, if your mother ever finds out 413 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,111 what you did tonight, 414 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,238 that is never gonna happen again. 415 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,198 I can't lie to my mother. 416 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,243 Sure you can. Believe in yourself! 417 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,544 (monitor beeping steadily) 418 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,173 (labored breathing) 419 00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:49,216 (amplified heartbeat) 420 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,429 (rapid beeping) 421 00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:58,893 (weak exhale) 422 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,897 (amplified, rapid heartbeat) 423 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,320 (pants quietly) 424 00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:32,010 ♪ ♪ 425 00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,731 ADULT SHELDON: Despite what it looks like, 426 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:47,025 I didn't pray to God that night. 427 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,193 I prayed to Blaise Pascal. 428 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,820 My thinking was, 429 00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:53,573 if he was right about the existence of God, 430 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,783 then he could pass along my request 431 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,118 for my dad to get better. 432 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,120 If he was wrong... 433 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,831 well... 434 00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:05,209 in this moment, I needed him to be right. 435 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,216 What's taking so long? 436 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,342 Shh. 437 00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:15,553 Keep your voice down, car thief. 438 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,972 I didn't steal your car, I just borrowed it. 439 00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:21,100 You're gonna need to make bail someday. 440 00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:24,478 Do not come to me. 441 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,688 MARY: Good news! 442 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,189 Your daddy's gonna be fine. 443 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,442 Should be home in a day or two. Oh! 444 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,985 And was it a heart attack? 445 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,403 Minor. No permanent damage. 446 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,822 Oh! That's wonderful! 447 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,741 Our prayers have been answered. 448 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:38,701 Come on, everybody, 449 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:40,703 let's say hello to your old dad. 450 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,747 ♪ ♪ 451 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,164 Come on. 452 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,084 ADULT SHELDON: For a brief moment, 453 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,503 I was filled with the healing power of faith. 454 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:52,130 Then the next day, we all got violently ill 455 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:55,843 from Billy Sparks' eggs, and I was over it. 456 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:04,477 Now, everybody knows how, on the first day of creation, 457 00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,604 God said, "Let there be light." 458 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,564 And there was light. 459 00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:11,859 And when God saw that light, he knew it was good. 460 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:12,902 (congregation murmuring) 461 00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:14,654 Oh, here we go. 462 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,238 Yes, Sheldon. 463 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,950 You said he didn't create the sun until day four. 464 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,743 Yeah. 465 00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:23,121 So how could there be light the first three days? 466 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,664 God is light. 467 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:26,707 So God's a photon? 468 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,087 God's what made photons possible. 469 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,964 And what day did he do that? 470 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,882 I would think day one. 471 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:37,551 If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here. 472 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,345 That's a terrible thing to say. 473 00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,472 ...because the first day had just begun. 474 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,099 So, before the Big Bang? 475 00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:44,558 There was no Big Bang. 476 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,019 There was only the Word. 477 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,937 Was the word "kaboom"? 478 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,187 Okay, do it. 479 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:50,314 (grunts) 480 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:51,524 We gotta go. 481 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:52,817 (grunting) 482 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:53,901 MISSY: What's happening? 483 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,529 Is it over? Y-Yes. ning?