1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:03,587 ("Home Computer" by Kraftwerk playing) 2 00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:06,882 ♪ I program my home computer ♪ 3 00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,844 ♪ Beam myself into the future. ♪ 4 00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:12,888 ADULT SHELDON: Power has always been a deadly narcotic, 5 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,932 and in 1989, 6 00:00:14,974 --> 00:00:17,977 RadioShack's Tandy 1000 SL 7 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,729 was my drug of choice. 8 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:23,022 With an Intel 8086 9 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:24,608 running at eight megahertz 10 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,735 and a five-and-a-quarter-inch floppy drive, 11 00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:28,362 there was nothing 12 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:29,488 I couldn't do. 13 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,239 From adding snazzy graphics 14 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,367 to my homework... 15 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,076 So snazzy. 16 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,620 ...to easily alphabetizing 17 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:39,748 my list of enemies and their crimes. 18 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,794 So easy. (door sensor chimes) 19 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:46,254 Sheldon, time to go. 20 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,173 We really need to get one of these. 21 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,258 What on earth do we need a computer for? 22 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,219 Yeah, we got you and your big head. 23 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,303 But we can get 24 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:54,513 so much accomplished. 25 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,973 I could use a spreadsheet program 26 00:00:56,015 --> 00:00:57,599 to keep track of your expenses. 27 00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,560 I do that in the back of my checkbook. 28 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:02,229 Yes, but does your checkbook go "beep" when you open it? 29 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,689 I don't think so. 30 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,190 Plus, the computer 31 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,734 can organize your recipes. 32 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,694 But my recipes are organized. 33 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:09,987 On index cards. 34 00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:11,446 Like a cave person. 35 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,574 Cave Mom. I'm gonna call you that. 36 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,325 (sighs) It doesn't matter, Sheldon. 37 00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:16,869 We can't afford a computer. 38 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:19,413 Sure we can. It's only $998, 39 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,832 and Dave says we can buy it on easy monthly payments. 40 00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:23,083 That's true. 41 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,125 Stay out of this, Dave. 42 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,335 Come on. 43 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:26,420 We got to get home. 44 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:27,546 But... 45 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,839 Sheldon, I said no. 46 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:29,840 I can make you a good deal 47 00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:30,841 on the floor model, 48 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,342 Mrs. Cooper. 49 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,803 Seriously, Dave, you're getting on my nerves. 50 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:35,846 It's not fair. 51 00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,514 You bought Missy a Ring Pop. 52 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,891 For ten cents. 53 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,935 And I'm worth every penny. Let's go. 54 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,227 Sorry, Dave. 55 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,229 We're living paycheck to paycheck. 56 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,522 Move! 57 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,317 (door sensor chimes) 58 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:52,320 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 59 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:55,115 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 60 00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,701 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 61 00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,870 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 62 00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:04,374 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 63 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,839 Ah, RadioShack. Ah, RadioShack. 64 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:13,008 Here it is, the Tandy 1000 SL computer system. 65 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:16,219 Sheldon was going on and on about that thing today. 66 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,179 I've never seen one so easy to use. 67 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,515 FEMALE VOICE: Greetings. Need directions back to your planet? 68 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,350 This technology is more advanced than we thought. 69 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:23,727 GEORGE JR.: You know that movie E.T.? 70 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,938 The kid who finds him, his name is Elliott, 71 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:28,148 which starts with an "E" and ends with a "T." 72 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,733 Coincidence? 73 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,318 I don't think so. 74 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:33,654 You're gonna live with us forever, aren't you? 75 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,197 So, Sheldon wants a computer? 76 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,532 Ever since he could talk. 77 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,826 But now more than ever. 78 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,661 Well, he should get a job after school. 79 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:41,703 Save up and buy one. 80 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,538 Get a job? He's nine. 81 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,957 I mowed lawns when I was his age. 82 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,083 Made pretty good money. 83 00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:47,918 You want Sheldon to mow lawns? 84 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,004 He's so pale, five minutes in the sun, 85 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,338 he'd burst into flames. 86 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,214 I would pay to see that. 87 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,257 Shut up, Georgie. 88 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,258 I hope you told him 89 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,510 we can't afford it. 90 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,219 Of course. 91 00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,888 I could buy it for him, 92 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,390 and then y'all could pay me back when you can. 93 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,476 Okay, Connie, now you're just insulting me. 94 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,269 Well, that was not my intention, 95 00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:07,980 but I'm glad to hear it. 96 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,106 I can pay my own bills 97 00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:10,732 and take care of my family. 98 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,110 There are expenses we could cut back on 99 00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:14,736 so we could afford a computer. 100 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,363 You mean like the money you give to church? 101 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:18,657 No, I mean like the money you give 102 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,408 to the Lone Star Beer company. 103 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:21,702 (chuckles) Good one, Mom. 104 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:22,911 Shut up. Shut up, pumpkin. Shut up. 105 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,121 We're not getting a computer. 106 00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:26,165 We don't need your money. 107 00:03:26,205 --> 00:03:28,167 Where are you going? 108 00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:31,086 To get a... glass of milk. 109 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,671 He's lying. He's getting a beer. 110 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,048 Shut up, Georgie. 111 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,716 (refrigerator opens) 112 00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,890 Mom? 113 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,475 Why are you still up? 114 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:48,436 Madame Curie is on the roof, 115 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,648 and she's not wearing her hat. 116 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,025 You're just dreaming, baby. 117 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:56,528 But she'll be cold without her hat. 118 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,864 I'll give her mine. Now you go to sleep. 119 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,199 Mm, thanks, Mom. 120 00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:02,159 You're the best. 121 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,371 Oh, Lord. 122 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:18,466 (sighs) 123 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:23,471 I'm guessing we're not having our once-a-week. 124 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:27,308 Sorry, I only have relations with gentlemen I like. 125 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,270 Oh, come on. You know how I feel 126 00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:32,231 about your mother meddlin' in our finances. 127 00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:34,816 She wasn't meddlin', she was offering to help. 128 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,902 And that computer is not some silly toy. 129 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,946 Sheldon could use it for his schoolwork, 130 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,907 and I could use it to... organize my recipes. 131 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,034 You already got 'em organized on those little cards. 132 00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:45,410 Yeah, like a cave person. 133 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,121 Well, it doesn't matter. 134 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:49,539 We can't afford it, end of story. 135 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,750 Not exactly end of story. 136 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,543 What's that mean? 137 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,503 I've been setting money aside the last couple of years, 138 00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,256 and this might be a good use for it. 139 00:04:57,296 --> 00:04:59,591 Money from what? 140 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,301 You know, here and there. 141 00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:03,178 Bookkeeping for the church, 142 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,222 some seamstress work, 143 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:07,266 birthday money from my Aunt Zelda. 144 00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:09,268 And just how much of this "here and there" money 145 00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:10,518 you got saved up? 146 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,229 Well, seeing as it's my money, 147 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,022 I don't think that's any of your business. 148 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,649 (chuckles): None of my business? 149 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:16,858 You see every nickel 150 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,735 I make, and you got secret money? 151 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,612 It's not secret. I just told you. 152 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,489 Where you hiding it? 153 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:25,242 (sighs) Well, now you're headed into secret territory. 154 00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:27,161 Oh, okay. 155 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,663 Just so I'm clear, my money's our money, 156 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:30,956 but your money's your money. 157 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,082 That's right. 158 00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:35,002 Oh, good to know. 159 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,212 I'm glad we're not having our once-a-week 160 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,923 'cause I am not in the mood. 161 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,217 Really? 162 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,927 That's too bad. 163 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,846 Why? Are you? 164 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,222 No! 165 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:51,392 That was uncalled for. 166 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,276 ♪ Love can make you weep... ♪ 167 00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:01,695 I forgot to tell you, a girl called for you. 168 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:02,821 What girl? 169 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,614 I don't know. A girl. 170 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,158 Well, what'd she say? 171 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,243 It's hard to remember. This was months ago. 172 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,454 Hey. 173 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,873 Two cases? 174 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,333 You've got to be kidding me. 175 00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:16,084 Don't worry, I didn't use your money. 176 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,045 I used mine. 177 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:21,798 ♪ Something so strong... ♪ 178 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:22,841 Finish your dinner 179 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,092 and then pack a bag. 180 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,468 We are going to Meemaw's. 181 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,221 Why? 182 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,848 Because your mom and dad need a break from each other. 183 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,225 For how long? 184 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,227 I don't know. Just pack. 185 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,978 Will I need earmuffs? 186 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,521 Sure, if you want. 187 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,440 Although my almanac does predict mild temperatures. 188 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,650 Then don't bring it. 189 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,777 I'll just bring my almanac. 190 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,154 You know what, I'll bring both. 191 00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:45,864 (exhales) 192 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,199 Should I pack my toothbrush 193 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:49,576 or use the one I keep at Meemaw's? 194 00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:50,869 I got this one. 195 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,705 Nobody cares. 196 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:54,998 I don't want to go to Meemaw's house. 197 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,457 What if that girl calls back? 198 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,168 Fine, then stay here with your father. 199 00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,628 Sheldon and Missy, we are out of here in half an hour. 200 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:05,633 Not a lot of time to pick a toothbrush. 201 00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,266 (doorbell rings) 202 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,187 Come on in. 203 00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:19,064 Mom and Dad need a break. 204 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,607 We don't know how long. 205 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,944 What's he got in there? 206 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,946 Everything. 207 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:32,619 SPORTSCASTER: First and ten in the closing minutes of the fourth quarter... 208 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:35,289 I ain't never getting married. 209 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,291 That so? Yeah. 210 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,876 Women are nothing but trouble. (phone ringing) 211 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:41,460 I'll get it! 212 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:45,090 Hello, Georgie speaking. 213 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,634 Did you run to the phone? Do you feel stupid? 214 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,512 Who was it? 215 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,348 Nobody. 216 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,975 This little tiff 217 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,517 between your mom and me will blow over. 218 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:57,894 Don't make a big deal of it. 219 00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,271 I'm not. I'm just saying 220 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,106 I'm better suited to the single life. 221 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,857 And how do you picture that? 222 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,734 Okay, well, you know the buffet at Golden Corral, 223 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,153 where there's all kinds of choices 224 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,862 and you can have as much as you want? 225 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,364 Yeah. 226 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:12,367 It'll be like that, only with hot girls. 227 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,244 Georgie, I'll bet you a thousand dollars 228 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:16,204 you're married before you're 25. 229 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,373 You got a bet. 230 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,749 I feel like 231 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:22,294 I'm stealing your money. 232 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:26,298 ADULT SHELDON: Georgie married his first wife at 19. 233 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:29,592 He never paid my father. 234 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:32,971 Well, I got to tell you how happy I am 235 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,849 that y'all are spending the night with me. 236 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,809 Your house smells like cigarettes. 237 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,102 So happy. 238 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,271 Sheldon, we've talked about this. 239 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,064 You don't need to announce to people how things smell. 240 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,316 Hmm. 241 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,692 All right, you two, settle in. 242 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,069 Are you and Dad gonna get a divorce? 243 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,570 Of course not. 244 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,365 Are you sure? Packing up your kids 245 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:53,325 in the middle of the night and moving in with your mom 246 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,494 has all the earmarks of a divorce. 247 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,412 We're not getting a divorce. 248 00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,039 Okay, go to sleep. 249 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,707 Sweet dreams. 250 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,926 I can't believe Mom and Dad had a fight over beer. 251 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,346 I don't think the fight was about beer. 252 00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,056 I think there was more subtext. 253 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,183 You're probably right. 254 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:22,187 Then again, I don't know what subtext is. 255 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,483 I don't want to get in your business, 256 00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:27,984 but since you're getting in my bed, 257 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:30,569 I'm getting in your business. Go ahead. 258 00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,531 When you leaving? 259 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,241 Very funny. 260 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,909 That wasn't a joke. 261 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,827 I love you, and I love the kids, 262 00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:39,954 but I love you better living across the street. 263 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,957 Sorry the end of my marriage is inconveniencing you. 264 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,418 Oh, don't be so dramatic. 265 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:45,626 It's a little spat. 266 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,837 No, this was a long time coming. 267 00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:50,673 This goes to the very core of our relationship. 268 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,800 I see we're sticking with dramatic. 269 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,429 The minute he found out I had money set aside, 270 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,305 he felt threatened. And you know why? 271 00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,766 'Cause it meant that I can live independent of him. 272 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,642 Sleeping in your mommy's bed? 273 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,395 You know what I mean. 274 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,441 You gonna buy Sheldon that computer? 275 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,608 Well, now I have to. 276 00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:12,112 Got it. 277 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:23,540 You do know I still have an active love life. 278 00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:25,250 Just go to sleep. 279 00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:32,132 On this very bed. 280 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:34,426 Oh, Mom. 281 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,349 What's for breakfast? 282 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,059 I don't know. Grab a bowl of cereal. 283 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:45,061 Mom usually makes us eggs and toast 284 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,354 and the occasional meat. 285 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,939 Well, Mom isn't here, is she? 286 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:51,776 Whoa. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 287 00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:54,028 And you had a choice 'cause you had the whole bed. 288 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,155 Georgie. 289 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,198 Walking on thin ice. 290 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,535 Maybe you should go across the street and apologize. 291 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,162 I can't do that. 292 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,538 Why not? 293 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,748 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent. 294 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,626 What's Nixon got to do with it? 295 00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:09,002 What? 296 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,670 You said "bad president," like Nixon. 297 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:13,798 You know, this guy. 298 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,095 You going to apologize? 299 00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:21,889 Dad! 300 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,433 Dad! 301 00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,560 If you are, bring back meat! 302 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,068 GEORGE JR.: Hey. 303 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,070 I hope you're happy. 304 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,823 Thank you, Georgie. That's very kind. 305 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,492 Mom and Dad are fighting because you want 306 00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:41,951 to get a stupid computer. 307 00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,995 What are you talking about? 308 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,288 Mom wanted to buy it for you, 309 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,414 Dad said they couldn't afford it, 310 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:47,832 Meemaw offered to pay for it, 311 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,543 and now I'm eating pineapple spears for lunch. 312 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,628 I hate making my own lunch. 313 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,672 I'm sorry, Georgie, I didn't know. 314 00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,215 Yeah, well, now you do. 315 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,675 What did you get? 316 00:11:56,715 --> 00:11:58,801 A turkey sandwich Mom cut in the shape of a heart, 317 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,637 a fruit cup, a brownie, 318 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,764 and a note from Meemaw saying how much she loves me. 319 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:06,393 I haven't read it yet, but I bet it's a lot. 320 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,811 I don't even have a can opener. 321 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:14,108 Oh, Sugar Apple, I love you so much. 322 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,278 Your affection for inanimate objects frightens me. 323 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,280 I'm glad you're happy, Missy. 324 00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:22,242 I'm even happier that I got a toy, and Sheldon got nothin'. 325 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,077 MARY: Well, now, we're not exactly 326 00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:25,453 done shopping. 327 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,581 Sheldon, you still want that computer? 328 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,583 I thought we couldn't afford it. 329 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,334 Don't you worry about that. 330 00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,002 Do you want it or not? 331 00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,921 More than anything. 332 00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:37,215 All right, then, let's go get it. 333 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:41,010 Wait. He gets a computer and I get a lousy toy? 334 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,679 I thought you liked it. 335 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,972 Not anymore. 336 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,100 (sighs) 337 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,853 Where's the water come out of? 338 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,814 Well, seeing as that's the dryer, nowhere. 339 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,108 Hmm. 340 00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:57,818 So this one's the washer? 341 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,028 No foolin' you. 342 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,614 What are you doing? 343 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,823 Separating the whites from the colors. 344 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,451 Whoa, that's racist. 345 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,370 How did I get a rocket scientist for one son 346 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,706 and a rodeo clown for the other? Oh, man. 347 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:12,375 I'd give anything to be a rodeo clown. 348 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,043 They make people happy, 349 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:16,212 and they see the rodeo for free. 350 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,591 (sniffs) Mmm. 351 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,554 ("Home Computer" by Kraftwerk playing) 352 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:27,724 ADULT SHELDON: The home computer I had long coveted 353 00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,769 was finally in my possession, 354 00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:34,147 but it was also destroying my home. 355 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,316 Thankfully, it came pre-loaded 356 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,943 with a program to help solve personal problems. 357 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,904 FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE: Hello, I am Eliza. 358 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:45,241 My... parents... 359 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:48,953 are... fighting... 360 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,539 a lot. 361 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,417 I see. Can you elaborate on that? 362 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,711 My mother... 363 00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:00,881 bought... me... 364 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,092 this... 365 00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:05,886 computer... 366 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,306 but... 367 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:12,435 my dad... says... we can't... 368 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,313 afford it. 369 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,608 Do you have issues with your mother? 370 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,277 Mmm... (typing) No. 371 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:24,614 She... makes me... 372 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,784 spaghetti... 373 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,828 with hot dogs... 374 00:14:29,868 --> 00:14:31,954 cut up in it. 375 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:34,749 Can you elaborate on that? 376 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,209 (sighs) 377 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,252 Are you... 378 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,839 going to help me or not? 379 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:46,427 Hello, I am Eliza. 380 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:49,472 The future might be overrated. 381 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,100 Okay, water's definitely on. 382 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,227 Try it now. 383 00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,854 We want delicate or regular? 384 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,398 (grunts) It doesn't matter, just turn it on. 385 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:01,025 Let's go with delicate to be safe. 386 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,068 (dial spinning) 387 00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,404 (sighs) Nothin'. 388 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,613 Damn it. 389 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,490 Wait, I know what to do. 390 00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:08,825 What? 391 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,744 Go across the street and apologize to Mom. 392 00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:13,246 I got nothin' to apologize for. 393 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,415 You don't have to mean it. I never do. 394 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:16,708 Georgie, just mind your business. 395 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:17,916 Okay, sorry. 396 00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,419 In case you were wondering, 397 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,254 I didn't mean that. 398 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,297 See how easy it is? 399 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,924 (dial spinning) 400 00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:27,635 These home computers are amazing. 401 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,387 I could start a real bookkeeping business 402 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,722 with that thing. 403 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,640 And that would go a long way to giving you 404 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,601 the financial independence you're looking for. 405 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,811 Darn tootin'. 406 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,773 Just for your information, 407 00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:42,149 Sheldon is using the computer right now 408 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,026 to try and fix your marriage. 409 00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,653 Really? 410 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,071 What did it say? 411 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,989 It said... 412 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,451 (mechanically): "Get out of your mother's house." 413 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,869 Mom. I'm serious. 414 00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:54,161 I want a cigarette, and I'm tired 415 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,622 of hiding behind the garage. 416 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,457 You think I should apologize to George? 417 00:15:57,498 --> 00:16:00,126 Well, of course not. That would set a terrible precedent. 418 00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,628 I think you should go back over there 419 00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,129 to pick up some clothes for the kids 420 00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:04,631 and be all cold and distant, 421 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,340 so he has to apologize to you. 422 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,593 Oh, that's not bad. 423 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,844 Do it. 424 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,721 I will. 425 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,055 Why you drinking tea? 426 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,642 (mechanically): Get out. 427 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,361 ♪ ♪ 428 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,988 (exhales) 429 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,328 (sighs) 430 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,666 Oh, hello. 431 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,460 Hey. 432 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,670 Were you coming back, or... ? 433 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,172 Just to get some clothes for the kids. 434 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,759 Oh. 435 00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:53,262 Were you coming to talk to me? 436 00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:57,057 Well... yeah. 437 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,935 I, um... 438 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:04,440 ...wanted to apologize. 439 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,402 Really? 440 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:09,988 ♪ ♪ 441 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,950 Want to go for a walk? 442 00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:15,242 Talk a little? 443 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,037 Sure. 444 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,296 Hey, kids, come here. 445 00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:29,382 Look at that. 446 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:33,636 It looks like your mom and dad are gonna be all right. 447 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,972 Does this mean we're going home? 448 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,932 It appears so. 449 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:41,394 I didn't even get to wear my earmuffs yet. 450 00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:47,483 And this program will allow us to track our family finances, 451 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,986 create a budget, and prepare tax documents. 452 00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:51,654 That's impressive. Mmm. 453 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,364 Would you like to know how much money 454 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,699 you spend on beer annually? 455 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,410 No. I would. (typing) 456 00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:01,039 $936. 457 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,373 George. 458 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,167 If you switched to Hawaiian Punch, 459 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,211 we could live in a bigger house. 460 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:10,172 ELIZA: Hello, I am Eliza. 461 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,549 ♪ I study nuclear science ♪ 462 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,467 Eliza... (typing) 463 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,886 ♪ I got a crazy teacher ♪ 464 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:19,015 Are... you... 465 00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:22,268 hot? 466 00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:24,353 In your fantasies, am I hot? 467 00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:28,107 Oh... yes. 468 00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:29,901 You realize you're not talking to a real person. 469 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,278 Hey, get out of here. I'm about to score. 470 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,950 MARY: Missy! Turn off the computer. 471 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:38,200 Time to go to bed. 472 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:41,495 I got to finish my homework! 473 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,664 Big money, big money. 474 00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,249 ♪ Things are going great ♪ 475 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,501 Yes! (whoops) 476 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,253 ♪ ♪ 477 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,213 ♪ I'm doing all right ♪ 478 00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,882 ♪ Getting good grades ♪ 479 00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:55,051 ♪ The future's so bright ♪ 480 00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,302 ♪ I gotta wear shades ♪ 481 00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,220 Hello? 482 00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,931 ♪ I gotta wear shades ♪ 483 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,223 Hello? 484 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,851 ♪ I gotta wear shades. ♪ 485 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,739 Oh. 486 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,491 What? 487 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,242 What? Nothin'. 488 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,417 Button you pull, that's stupid. er.