1
00:00:02,753 --> 00:00:04,254
ADULT SHELDON:
On any given day,

2
00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:06,298
our school gymnasium

3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,510
presented
a cocktail of horrors.

4
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,552
(screams)

5
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:13,764
From daily humiliation...

6
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...to school-sanctioned
violence...

7
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,520
BOY:
Oh!

8
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:22,523
But one day a year,
the gymnasium was transformed

9
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,692
into a haven of learning

10
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,068
thanks to a remarkable
institution

11
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known as the science fair.

12
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,907
A chance for the student body
to come together

13
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:34,326
in the name of research
and progress.

14
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Uh, while some did
the bare minimum...

15
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(burps)

16
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...and others preferred
razzamatazz over raw data,

17
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:47,046
I set out to save humanity
from deadly asteroids.

18
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:49,550
And made it all neatly fit
on three poster boards.

19
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The science fair may be
a competition,

20
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:56,390
but when the goal is promoting
knowledge, we're all winners.

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PETERSEN:
And the winner

22
00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,769
of the Medford High School
Science Fair is...

23
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SueAnn Ludlow!

24
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You've got to be kidding me!

25
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Shelly.

26
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(applause)

27
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You people are crazy!

28
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Hey.
All right.

29
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SHELDON:
You're celebrating mediocrity!

30
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(mouths)

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Mediocrity!

32
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Mediocrity!

33
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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

34
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

35
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

36
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:28,047
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

37
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♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

38
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I'll be in my room.

39
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Oh, come on, Shelly.

40
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You still got
an honorable mention.

41
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,060
Stop reminding me.

42
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,269
(sighs)

43
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,438
I hate to see him
so upset.

44
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,899
Well, give him a little
time, he'll calm down.

45
00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:48,067
(door slams)

46
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SHELDON:
Fiddle-faddle!

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The F word.

48
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He's real mad.

49
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,782
You don't always win in life,
he needs to learn that.

50
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:56,951
I know, but these are
big feelings for a little boy.

51
00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:58,285
They're feelings everybody has.

52
00:01:58,326 --> 00:01:59,745
It's part of growing up.

53
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:00,871
I guess.

54
00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:02,623
SHELDON:
Poodle poop!

55
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MEEMAW:
Okay.

56
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Somebody's got to teach

57
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,962
this kid to swear,
it's embarrassing.

58
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,175
Sheldon, listen,

59
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,761
I know losing
ain't easy.

60
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,512
I deal with it on the
football field all the time.

61
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,640
(chuckles)

62
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,186
It's like that big game we had
last year against Nacogdoches.

63
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:28,899
We were down 28 points
at the half.

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00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,525
It was raining, it was muddy.

65
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,736
Everybody in the stands
had gone home.

66
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,030
But somehow,
we managed to claw our way back

67
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,865
to a tie with a minute left.

68
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,242
And then, they threw
a Hail Mary,

69
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,452
and the receiver stepped
out of bounds,

70
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,454
but the ref didn't see it.

71
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:46,917
After all that,
we lose on a bad call.

72
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:50,004
Believe me, I was furious.

73
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,297
But I sucked it up,

74
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:56,135
and I walked across that field
and I shook their hands.

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00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:59,554
I didn't hear a word you said.

76
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,933
Okay.

77
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,644
So while an animal cell
has a membrane,

78
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,772
a plant cell has a membrane
and a cell wall.

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SHELDON:
Who cares?

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Sheldon,
what are you doing?

81
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Being disrespectful, sir.

82
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Ah. How come?

83
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Because I'm disillusioned
with the school system.

84
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,326
Georgie, do you know
what's going on with him?

85
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,704
Actually, I'm trying
to ignore it.

86
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,956
Well, get your feet
off the desk.

87
00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,749
What if I don't?

88
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I was sent to see
Principal Petersen.

89
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What is it this time?

90
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Youthful rebellion.

91
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My voice hasn't changed yet,
but my attitude has.

92
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I'll let him know you're here.

93
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You do that.

94
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Ma'am.

95
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(door closes)

96
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,728
Sheldon Cooper's outside.

97
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,730
Who sent him now?

98
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:50,981
Givens.
Well, you know what?

99
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,525
Givens needs to man up.

100
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:54,735
Cooper's
a little boy.

101
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It's not hard to handle him.

102
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I'll send him in.

103
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,739
H-Hold on a minute, just...

104
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Does he know I'm in here?

105
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:03,410
SHELDON (over P.A.):
Attention, students and faculty.

106
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:04,703
Oh, no.

107
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,454
This is Sheldon Lee Cooper.

108
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,373
What the hell?

109
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:12,753
We're taught that hard work
pays off, but that's not true.

110
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,629
I came up with a solution
to save Earth

111
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:15,839
from killer asteroids,

112
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,175
and lost the science fair

113
00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:20,802
to SueAnn Ludlow,
and her frizzy hair machine.

114
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,972
But it wasn't just me who lost,
we all lost.

115
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:25,099
Wake up, people.

116
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The system's broken.

117
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,937
Real innovation isn't valued.

118
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:33,065
Nowadays, it's all about
flash and style.

119
00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:34,399
I blame MTV.

120
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,236
Luckily, my parents
can't afford cable.

121
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,863
We can afford it.

122
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,949
I urge you all to rise up.

123
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,158
(grunts)

124
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,325
They can't send everyone

125
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,410
to the principal's office.

126
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,536
Chew gum in class,

127
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,955
use a number one pencil,

128
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,414
go nuts.

129
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,125
This is Sheldon Lee Cooper
signing off.

130
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,543
Live long and prosper.

131
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,254
You better run, you little punk!

132
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:58,423
(grunting)

133
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MEEMAW: I can't believe you sent
him to bed without his dinner.

134
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:02,803
That's right.

135
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,304
On spaghetti and
hot dog night.

136
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,014
That's rough.
He's got to learn.

137
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,100
Let's talk about something else.

138
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,768
Georgie, how was your day?

139
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,520
My brother told the entire
school we can't afford cable.

140
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,773
Oh, right. Missy?

141
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,234
Good, until I learned
we can't afford cable.

142
00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:19,153
(sighs)

143
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,947
I've been thinking, and there's
something I'd like to say.

144
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,324
Unless it's an apology,
I don't want to hear it.

145
00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:26,952
I'm quitting science.

146
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,329
Not an apology.

147
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,372
Spank him, Dad.

148
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:38,922
I'm really getting
worried about Shelly.

149
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:41,133
Acting out,
and now quitting science?

150
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,302
Oh, I'm sure he'll get
right back to it.

151
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:46,138
I've quit smoking and gambling
plenty of times.

152
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,764
Hmm. Look in my purse.

153
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,891
Nothing but cigarettes
and scratchers. (laughs)

154
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,686
(sighs) Maybe he should
talk to somebody.

155
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:53,687
Not it.

156
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,772
I meant a professional, George.

157
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,816
But way to be a dad.

158
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,327
(door opens)

159
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:09,870
Hey.
(chuckles)

160
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,454
Welcome back.

161
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,915
Thank you for seeing us
on such short notice, Doctor.

162
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,292
Oh, not a problem.

163
00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:16,375
Sheldon,

164
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:17,460
I remember you.

165
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:18,503
Do you remember me?

166
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,339
I remember everything.

167
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:21,798
Okay.

168
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,424
Uh, you two, make
yourselves comfortable.

169
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,926
Me and my main man Sheldon
are gonna go

170
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,594
have a little chitchat
in my office.

171
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,306
I don't like chitchat,
and I'm not your main man.

172
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,183
Right on.

173
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,684
Have fun.

174
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,770
(door closes)

175
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,232
Now, Sheldon, I understand
you've changed your mind

176
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,816
about being a scientist.

177
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:42,152
And you're gonna
say I can't?

178
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:44,112
No. I think that's great.

179
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,989
You do?
Yeah.

180
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,575
I think it's important
to keep your options open.

181
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:49,993
Let me tell you a little story

182
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,246
about an extremely smart
young boy.

183
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,496
Me?

184
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:54,706
Me.

185
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:55,957
For the longest time,

186
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:56,958
I thought I was gonna be

187
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,626
a professional figure skater.

188
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:01,213
And then you became disenchanted
with the field like I did?

189
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,381
Exactly.

190
00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:04,216
Someone skated
right over my foot.

191
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:05,466
And that was that.

192
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,469
I'm not sure
that's the same thing.

193
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:12,266
I'd say you lost your passion
the way I lost my big toe.

194
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,184
Hmm.

195
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,898
Don't draw in that.

196
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,109
Hey. We're all done.

197
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,194
How'd it go?
Great.

198
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:25,904
I feel a lot better.

199
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,447
Well, that's
just wonderful.

200
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,324
So, you're going back
to science?

201
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:33,161
No. In fact, I'm going as far
away from science as possible.

202
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,038
I plan to pursue the arts.

203
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,915
What kind of arts?

204
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,959
I've decided to become an actor.

205
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,837
Of course you have.

206
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,425
Why's he want to study acting?

207
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:49,136
The doctor encouraged him
to try something different.

208
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,054
Maybe he'll learn
to act normal.

209
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,806
How about you learn
to act nice?

210
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:55,474
You people don't appreciate
my sense of humor.
(chuckles)

211
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,769
As long as he starts behaving
himself in school,

212
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,729
I don't care what he does.

213
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,190
You know, I actually did
a little community theater

214
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,358
back in my 20s.

215
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,484
Is that so?

216
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,653
I had a good part
in Oklahoma.

217
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:09,614
♪ I'm just a girl
who can't say no. ♪

218
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,740
Say no to what?

219
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:11,908
Well...

220
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,910
To, uh, eating
her vegetables.

221
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,787
It was fun.

222
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,538
But I'm pretty sure
doing plays

223
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:20,541
is just an excuse to change in
front of each other backstage.

224
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,169
Really?
Yeah.

225
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,963
Theater folk just love to
take their clothes off.

226
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,340
How many people
saw you naked?

227
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,548
A lot.

228
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:28,800
Mom.
Enough.

229
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,469
Y'all don't understand

230
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,720
my sense of humor, either.

231
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,185
(indistinct chatter)

232
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,982
Hello. Are you Mr. Lundy?

233
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,026
My father is Mr. Lundy.

234
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,902
Well, then what should
I call you?

235
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,281
I guess Mr. Lundy.

236
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,949
My father's dead. (laughs)

237
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:56,036
I was told you're the head
of the drama department.

238
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:58,746
Mm-hmm, and the girls'
volleyball coach,

239
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:02,042
which, between us,
is the real drama department.

240
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,293
Was that a joke?

241
00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:05,253
I thought so.

242
00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:08,382
Can I help you?

243
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:11,301
I'm interested
in becoming an actor.

244
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:13,303
Well, good for you.

245
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:14,971
You've come to the right place.

246
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,349
You know, I-I've been
a professional actor

247
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:18,641
for years and years.

248
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,435
Really? What have you been in?

249
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,854
Well, have you seen
the mattress madness commercials

250
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,231
on channel 68?

251
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,900
I'm soft and firm

252
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:30,070
in all the right places.

253
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,490
Wow. You're famous.

254
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:34,824
Well, I...

255
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,244
And I was Carbucketty

256
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:40,080
in the Dallas-Fort Worth
Players production of Cats.

257
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,164
(purrs)

258
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,041
(laughs) Did you see that?

259
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,959
No, I'm afraid of cats.

260
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,712
Well, you realize the cats
are just the actors.

261
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,089
I still wouldn't risk it.

262
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,925
You're an odd boy,
but you make it work.

263
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,134
(chuckles)

264
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,303
Anyway, uh,
auditions are next week.

265
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,180
You're welcome to come on by.
Excellent.

266
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,848
I checked out a book on acting

267
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,517
so I should have the hang of it
by then.

268
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,270
Well, I like that confidence.

269
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:06,106
Thank you. Most people
find it off-putting.

270
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,733
I can see that.

271
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:14,739
ADULT SHELDON: To master acting,
I immersed myself

272
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,909
in all forms of the genre,
from silent films

273
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:21,580
to modern classics...

274
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:31,214
...to logic-defying
experimental work.

275
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:33,383
♪ It's great
to stay up late... ♪

276
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:34,801
Why are they all singing?

277
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,886
(mouth full):
Because it's a musical.

278
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:38,972
But why can't
they just say it?

279
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:42,267
Well, that wouldn't be
very musical, would it?

280
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,519
♪ The stars were shining
bright... ♪

281
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,853
And where is the
music coming from?

282
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:49,399
You're thinking
about it too much.

283
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:50,691
♪ So, good morning ♪

284
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,735
♪ Good morning... ♪

285
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,529
And how do they all know
the same dance?

286
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:57,115
Come on.
Moonpie.

287
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,492
♪ To you and you
and you and you. ♪

288
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,201
ANNOUNCER:
And it is intercepted.

289
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:03,204
Walking in is Kevin Smith
for the touchdown.

290
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,084
What are you looking for?

291
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,044
A brooch.

292
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,588
What's a brooch?

293
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,381
It's a piece of jewelry.

294
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,716
In my acting book,
there's an exercise

295
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:18,052
where you look for a missing
brooch in a convincing way.

296
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,596
Why?

297
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:22,223
According to the story,
it was given to me by a friend

298
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:25,143
so I could afford to stay in
drama school, but now it's gone.

299
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,770
Well, good luck finding it.

300
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:28,980
Thanks.

301
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,524
Wait.

302
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:33,568
You really believed I was
looking for something.

303
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:35,778
I did it.

304
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,030
I'm an actor.

305
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,406
You're a freak.

306
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:42,743
Oh, where the heck
is that brooch?

307
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:46,289
GIRL:
If I can change,

308
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,166
and you can change,

309
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,877
everybody can change.

310
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:52,420
Thank you, Eva.

311
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:56,675
That was a-a lovely
reading from Rocky IV.

312
00:11:56,715 --> 00:11:58,134
All right, Mr. Cooper.

313
00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,303
The stage is yours.

314
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,514
Thank you.

315
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:06,643
I'd like to begin with
a monologue from King Lear.

316
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:10,771
What?

317
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,692
I believe you're supposed to say
"break a leg."

318
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,109
Sorry.

319
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,028
Break a leg.

320
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:23,702
Poor naked wretches,
whereso'er you are,

321
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:27,955
that bide the pelting
of this pitiless storm.

322
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:31,626
How shall your houseless heads
and unfed sides,

323
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:35,255
your looped and windowed
raggedness defend you

324
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,716
from seasons such as these?

325
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:43,304
Oh, I've ta'en too little
care of this.

326
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,890
Take physic, pomp.

327
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:49,394
Expose thyself to feel
what wretches feel,

328
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:52,063
that thou may shake
the superflux to them

329
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,858
and show the heavens more just.

330
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,320
Holy mackerel.

331
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:04,743
♪ Don't cry for me, Argentina ♪

332
00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:09,539
♪ The truth is
I never left you ♪

333
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,916
♪ All through my wild days ♪

334
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,461
♪ My mad existence ♪

335
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,755
♪ I kept my promise ♪

336
00:13:16,795 --> 00:13:18,047
♪ Don't keep ♪

337
00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:21,800
♪ Your distance... ♪

338
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,678
("I've Got Rhythm"
playing on piano)

339
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,598
♪ I've got daisies ♪

340
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,100
♪ In green pastures ♪

341
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,602
♪ I've got my girl ♪

342
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:33,229
♪ Who could ask
for anything more ♪

343
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:36,107
♪ Old man trouble ♪

344
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,817
♪ I don't mind him ♪

345
00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:41,237
♪ You won't find him ♪

346
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:44,073
♪ Hanging 'round my door ♪

347
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,200
♪ I've got starlight ♪

348
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,703
♪ I've got sweet dreams ♪

349
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,997
♪ I've got my star ♪

350
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:53,541
♪ Who could ask
for anything more? ♪

351
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,376
♪ Who could ask for ♪

352
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,672
♪ Anything more? ♪

353
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:00,590
Ah.
(whoops)

354
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:05,679
That looked dangerous.

355
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,264
No, that looks dangerous.

356
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:09,808
We're back.

357
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:12,143
Hey. How'd the audition go?

358
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,436
Great. I got the lead.

359
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,895
You're kidding.

360
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,189
What's the play?

361
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,440
Annie.

362
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,068
I need to go learn my lines.

363
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,324
Now, I was a little unsure
at first,

364
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,327
but Sandy Duncan does
play Peter Pan,

365
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,829
so when you think about it...

366
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:31,746
Connie, you're not helping.

367
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,373
Okay.

368
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,041
(sighs)

369
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,049
Hey.

370
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:45,426
Hello.

371
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:48,179
(sighs) I want to talk to you
about this play.

372
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,889
I'm excited about it, too.

373
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:52,975
You know, if you play
the part of a girl,

374
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,811
people might make fun of you.

375
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,479
Mr. Lundy's trying
to push the boundaries

376
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,439
of drama in East Texas.

377
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:01,693
One way to do that
is cross-gender casting.

378
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,319
Let me rephrase that:

379
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:04,654
if you play the part of a girl,

380
00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,656
people will make fun of you.

381
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:09,283
In Shakespeare's time, the men
played all the female parts.

382
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,702
No one made fun of it.

383
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,078
If Shakespeare went
to public high school,

384
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:13,663
it'd be a different story.

385
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,164
You know, Sandy Duncan plays
the part of Peter Pan...

386
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:17,916
Yeah, yeah, I heard.

387
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:20,461
(exhales)

388
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,632
I'm trying to protect you, son.

389
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:26,634
I appreciate that.

390
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:27,844
Good.

391
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:30,179
You're a football coach.

392
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:31,639
Isn't it your responsibility

393
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,767
to put in the best player
for the job?

394
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,185
I guess.

395
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,855
Well, I want to do this,

396
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:43,025
and Mr. Lundy said
I was the best.

397
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,363
Okay.

398
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,699
Can you at least wear pants
instead of a dress?

399
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,159
I'll give you a definite maybe.

400
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,959
Okay, who's excited?

401
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,713
I don't want to see Sheldon's
stupid play, it's humiliating.

402
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,924
That's why I want to see it.

403
00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:07,174
We're going to support
your brother.

404
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,552
Not another word about it.

405
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:12,639
Can we at least sit
in the back?

406
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,973
Not a word.

407
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,311
Well, I'm excited.

408
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:26,068
Okay, everybody,
ten minutes to curtain.

409
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,822
No smiling, girls,
it's a hard knock life.

410
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:30,698
How you doing,
Mr. Cooper?

411
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,659
You in touch with
your inner Annie?

412
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,201
I believe so.

413
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,745
Good. It's a packed house.

414
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:36,913
(laughs)

415
00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:38,205
Wha-- oh, what the heck?

416
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,500
Katie? Katie.
You're an orphan,

417
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,042
sweetheart, not a coal miner.

418
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,337
Let's tone that down, hmm?

419
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,006
(indistinct chatter)

420
00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:51,051
(heart beating rapidly)

421
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,225
♪ ♪

422
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,269
Oh, dear.

423
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:01,896
I can't do this.

424
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:02,981
What are you talking about?

425
00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:05,023
The play,
I can't do it.

426
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:06,651
There are
too many people out there.

427
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,902
Oh, that is just stage fright.

428
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,821
That's completely normal.

429
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:12,365
No, this is a full-blown
panic attack.

430
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:13,491
All right, listen to me.

431
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,868
You're feeling scared.

432
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:18,162
I get that,
but what you have to understand

433
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,707
is you're not going out
on that stage alone.

434
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,750
Everybody, gather around, hmm?

435
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,544
Uh, Sheldon,

436
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,921
have you ever been
to the circus?

437
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:27,755
Yes.

438
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:28,923
Okay, good.

439
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,383
I had a panic attack there, too.

440
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,802
My point is,

441
00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:36,848
the trapeze artist
always performs with a net

442
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,266
to catch him,
to protect him.

443
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:43,938
And you are protected
by everyone standing here.

444
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:48,067
Nothing can happen to
you out on that stage,

445
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,777
because we're a team.

446
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:53,280
We are your net.

447
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,408
I don't know.

448
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,617
(sighs)

449
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,578
Sheldon, come here.

450
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:00,788
You...

451
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,999
are a star,

452
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:05,668
and that audience

453
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:10,464
deserves to see you shine.

454
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,469
(audience applauds)

455
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:18,222
ADULT SHELDON: Mr. Lundy gave
a compelling speech.

456
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:21,768
The audience did deserve
to see what they came for,

457
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,478
an eager boy bravely taking on

458
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,398
the role
of Little Orphan Annie.

459
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,191
You're looking for
a knuckle sandwich.

460
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:33,404
And in that respect,
they were not disappointed.

461
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,531
Pipe down, all of you.

462
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,199
Go back to sleep.

463
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,035
It's all right, Molly.

464
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:41,037
Annie's here.

465
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,663
(laughter)

466
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,164
Oh, thank God.

467
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,208
I'd tell you how
an East Texas audience

468
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:49,336
in 1989 responded

469
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,338
to a grown man playing Annie,

470
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,717
but I think you know.

471
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,552
Mm-hmm.

472
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:58,554
(whispers):
What's my line?

473
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,268
♪ The sun come out tomorrow ♪

474
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:07,229
♪ Bet your bottom dollar
that tomorrow ♪

475
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,690
♪ There'll be sun ♪

476
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:12,359
♪ When I'm stuck with
a day that's gray ♪

477
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,403
♪ And lonely ♪

478
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:17,991
♪ I just stick out
my chin and grin ♪

479
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:20,576
♪ And say ♪

480
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,536
♪ Oh... ♪

481
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,413
I think I see his underpants.

482
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,915
I told you.

483
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:29,127
Theatre folk just love to
show off their business.

484
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,879
♪ Always a day away ♪

485
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:35,466
♪ Tomorrow, tomorrow ♪

486
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,885
♪ I love you, tomorrow ♪

487
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:41,681
♪ You're always a day ♪

488
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:47,061
♪ Away. ♪

489
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,986
(microphone feedback)
y ♪