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Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
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You know that Mr. Rosenbloom
with the furniture store

3
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,005
over by the steak house?

4
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He's asked me to dinner.

5
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Is he your boyfriend?

6
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Well, he's one of them,
so let's not bring that up.

7
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,888
All right, so what can I do
for you?

8
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What's it like
to be Jewish?

9
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Oh, it's terrible.
I don't recommend it.

10
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(phone ringing)
Yeah?

11
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:22,481
Connie, I would like
to have dinner with you tonight.

12
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This is very promising.

13
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SHELDON:
Dr. Sturgis and Meemaw

14
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had their first
sleepover.

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It's a big step
in their relationship.

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I'm going to go
congratulate them.

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Hey, put on a jacket,
it's chilly out.

18
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♪ You're just too good
to be true... ♪

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I have only seen you eat
vanilla ice cream for dessert.

20
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Why is that?
Well, I've taken a page

21
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from the great physicist
Richard Feynman.

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In order to have

23
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one less decision
in his life,

24
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:55,472
he decided that dessert would
always be chocolate ice cream.

25
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,558
Sounds like it could
get kind of boring.

26
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Oh, it does.

27
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But over the
last 35 years,

28
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I believe I've saved
at least a day and a half.

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♪ Pardon the way
that I stare... ♪

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(laughing)

31
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Well, you have to let me
cook for you sometime.

32
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But I enjoy cooking for you.

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It's a means of
expressing my affection.

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It also allows me to control
the amount of garlic,

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which gives me the burps.

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Well, I do make
a mean barbecue,

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and I promise I can
make it garlic-free.

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Excellent!

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Next time, you can express
your affection for me.

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(chuckles)

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(phone ringing)
Excuse me.

42
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I bet it's Sheldon
checking on us.

43
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What?

44
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Connie? It's Ira.

45
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(chuckling nervously):
Hey... Hey...

46
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I'm, uh...

47
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:50,569
I-It's Sheldon.
He... sounds a little agitated.

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I'm gonna take it
in the other room.

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Just...

50
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,699
(partition clattering loudly)

51
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(quietly):
Hello again.

52
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,914
Listen, I'm wondering what
you're doing this weekend.

53
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I miss you.

54
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Cool, cool.

55
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,919
You want to go to a movie

56
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:08,754
or bowl a few frames?

57
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Uh, you know, listen,
it's not a great time right now.

58
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,384
Um, I have a little family over,

59
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,303
and can I call you later?

60
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Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry.
I-I don't want to interrupt.

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I just miss hearing your voice.

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Well... here it is,

63
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coming right up
out of my throat.

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Um, okay,

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so, uh, uh, bye.

66
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Bye-bye.

67
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How's Sheldon doing?

68
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,405
What?
Sheldon.

69
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,240
You were talking to Sheldon.

70
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Oh... right, yes.
(chuckles)

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Did you know he has a picture
of that fella Feynman

72
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in his bedroom?

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What? So do I.

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Peas in a pod.

75
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(phone ringing)
Oh, darn.

76
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Excuse me.

77
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Yes?

78
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How's it going?

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It's Sheldon again.

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What do you mean "again"?

81
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Speak.

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I recently read an article

83
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about a superconducting
supercollider

84
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that might be built in Texas.

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What about it?

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Well, I thought
if there was a lull

87
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in your dinner conversation,

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you might casually drop it
as an icebreaker.

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Our dinner conversation
is going just fine.

90
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Well, now you have it
in your back pocket.

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Carry on.

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(dial tone)
(chuckles)

93
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(hangs up phone)

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(clears throat)

95
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Question-- will we be engaging
in coitus tonight?

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Because I believe
I pulled a hamstring

97
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on the bike ride over.

98
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Why didn't you
say something?

99
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Well, I was trying
to display machismo,

100
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but it's becoming
more and more clear

101
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that there's something
askew in my groin.

102
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Oh, John...

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we don't have
to do anything.

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We can just be together.

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Thanks.

106
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But if it's all
the same to you,

107
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I'd like to give it
the old college try.

108
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(laughing)

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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

110
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

111
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

112
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

113
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♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

114
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Here you go.

115
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Thank you.

116
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So, you're really
gonna go out

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with this furniture
store fella

118
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while seeing Dr. Sturgis?

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It's called playing the field.

120
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And if you'd done
some of that,

121
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you wouldn't be saddled
with Bluto in there.

122
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That's not nice.

123
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And is that
really necessary?

124
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The Italians call it
"corretto."

125
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It means correcting
the drink.

126
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So, a drink without
alcohol in it is wrong?

127
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Yep.

128
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Italian people,
they know what's up.
(sighs)

129
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All right, one issue
at a time.

130
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So, you're really gonna date
two men simultaneously?

131
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Two that you know of.
Oh, Mom.

132
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Come on, don't be
such a prude.

133
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I'm not gonna have
any babies.

134
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I don't need these men
to take care of me.

135
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Why shouldn't I just
enjoy myself?

136
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Well, it isn't very
Christian of you.

137
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,557
I got no argument there.

138
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Salute!
(chuckles)

139
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(sighs)

140
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Yeah, that fixed it.

141
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Mmm.

142
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♪ ♪

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Oh, Meemaw, no.

144
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,127
Hey, who are you calling?

145
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:36,878
Dr. Sturgis.

146
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:37,921
Why?

147
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I saw Meemaw get in a car

148
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,675
with Mr. Rosenbloom.

149
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(distorted):
No...

150
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ADULT SHELDON: I don't know
if it really happened this way,

151
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,685
but to my nine-year-old mind,

152
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my mother was flying.

153
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,818
(country music playing)

154
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,696
So, how's the brisket?

155
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:03,989
It's good.

156
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It ain't my brisket,
but it's good.

157
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I should take you
to New York

158
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,829
so you could taste some
authentic Jewish brisket.

159
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How's it different?

160
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,623
Well, it's pretty much
the same except

161
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:16,084
it's-it's a lot juicier
and you can feel the fat

162
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,418
go directly to your heart.

163
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,586
(both laughing)

164
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Oh, boy...

165
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I miss that laugh.

166
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So, uh...

167
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what do you think
of that idea?

168
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What idea?
Going to New York.

169
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,475
Maybe we'll catch
a couple of Broadway shows,

170
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,393
uh, see some sights.

171
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:38,982
Oh, Ira, gee...

172
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I don't know.
(chuckles)

173
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,278
Seems like a big step.
Is it?

174
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I think at this time
of our lives,

175
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we should travel,
see the world.

176
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I guess.
I mean,

177
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we're not getting
any younger.

178
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What's that supposed to mean?

179
00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:53,914
(stammers)

180
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I mean, I mean, I'm not
getting any younger.

181
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,625
You, on the other hand,

182
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,254
you are a blossoming tulip.

183
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:01,629
Better.

184
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:04,341
SHELDON:
But I still don't understand.

185
00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:07,344
Your grandmother's
a single lady.

186
00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:09,346
She's not committed
to any one fella,

187
00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:11,306
and she wants to see
what her options are.

188
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:13,558
But Dr. Sturgis is
the best option.

189
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,476
Well, you might
feel that way,

190
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,853
but she's not so sure.

191
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,813
Then we need to tell her.
I'll make the call.

192
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,815
No. We need to
mind our business

193
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,818
and maybe pray for her
to make the right decision.

194
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,529
We're gonna leave this
up to God?

195
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,032
You think you could do
a better job than God?

196
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,076
Maybe not with
creating the universe,

197
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,493
but I bet
I could free the Hebrews

198
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:33,912
with one good plague.

199
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,914
IRA:
You can get lox, bagels,

200
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all the trimmings
at 3:30 in the morning.

201
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:41,336
(chuckles)
Why would I want that?

202
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:44,131
Well, you wouldn't.
I mean, it's too heavy.

203
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,382
But you could
if you wanted.

204
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:46,425
(chuckles)

205
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:47,634
So, what do you think?

206
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:50,762
Oh, Ira, I don't think so.

207
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,139
All right, what do you say

208
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,308
to a weekend
in New Orleans, huh?

209
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:55,934
We could do one of those
Carnival Cruise things.

210
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,561
You're killing me.
(laughs)

211
00:07:58,603 --> 00:07:59,687
I can't do this, I...

212
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,731
Can't do what?

213
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:05,026
Ira, you're just
a wonderful man.

214
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,821
Oh, boy, I don't like
where this is going.

215
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,281
But to tell you the truth,

216
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,199
I'm seeing somebody else.

217
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,243
And we've gone there.

218
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:16,121
I thought I could do it, uh...
you know, date both of you,

219
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,706
but I-I can't, I can't,
I just...

220
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,541
I'm not cut out for it.

221
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,794
Okay, suggestion.

222
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,172
And maybe you've already
thought of this...

223
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,798
but what do you say
you break up with him

224
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,049
and only see me?

225
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,508
(chuckles)

226
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,511
(sobbing)

227
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:34,764
I'm sorry.

228
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:37,225
I thought I could
handle this.

229
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,019
It's okay.
You know,

230
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,063
you get older, and you think
your skin is thicker...

231
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,149
It's okay.
...and your heart
is tougher.

232
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,194
But it's not, it's
the other way around.

233
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:51,572
I hope this guy knows
what a gift he has in you.

234
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,367
Well, "gift" is a strong word,

235
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,618
but he's enthusiastic.

236
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,828
Good.

237
00:08:56,870 --> 00:09:00,248
May you both be
very happy together!

238
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,504
I don't want to
celebrate too soon,

239
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:09,757
but Meemaw and Mr. Rosenbloom
are back, and he was crying.

240
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,926
(indistinct chatter on TV)

241
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:15,138
There'll be more updates
as they happen.

242
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,481
I'm done.

243
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:25,606
Can I please be excused?

244
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,817
Good Lord, did you
even chew it?

245
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,361
Not the recommended amount, no.

246
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,820
What's your hurry?

247
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,780
I need to get back
to my viewing post.

248
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,200
Fine, go ahead.

249
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,454
What's he expect to see,
staring at Meemaw's house?

250
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,664
(sighs)
Did you just join
this family?

251
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,166
The kid's an oddball.

252
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,335
He's just excited
that Meemaw's dating

253
00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:46,836
a man he looks up to.

254
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:49,339
I wish she could date
Tony Danza-- that'd be cool.

255
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:51,591
What is it with you
and Tony Danza?

256
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:54,219
Well, the show doesn't
come out and say it,

257
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,637
but I'm pretty sure
he's the boss.

258
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,433
I think the blonde
lady's the boss.

259
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:00,517
Angela?

260
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,394
Who's the oddball now?

261
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,523
I'm warning you,

262
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,691
once you try my barbecue,

263
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,570
it will ruin you
to all the others.

264
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,697
That's what happened to me
with quilted toilet paper.

265
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,450
Once I tried the good stuff,

266
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:19,119
everything else felt
like a Brillo pad.

267
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,996
You paint quite the picture,
don't you?

268
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,582
(doorbell ringing)

269
00:10:23,622 --> 00:10:25,166
Oh, gosh.

270
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:26,960
Excuse me.

271
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:30,838
Sheldon,
this is not cute anymore.

272
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,634
Connie Tucker?
Yes?

273
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,344
I have a dinette set
from Rosenbloom's Furniture.

274
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:37,345
Oh.

275
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,805
I didn't buy any furniture.

276
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,974
I think it's a gift.

277
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,310
Oh, boy.

278
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,103
TONY:
I bent down to pick up a book,

279
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:48,482
and I'll be darned if she didn't
sneak a look at my derriere.

280
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,650
(laughter on TV)
Oh, man.

281
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:54,362
You won't believe what's
happening at Meemaw's house.

282
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:56,823
Is it more interesting
than Who's the Boss?

283
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:58,617
Doubt it.

284
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,660
(phone rings)

285
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:02,954
Rosenbloom's Fine Furniture.
Ira speaking.

286
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,956
Why are you sending me
furniture?

287
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:08,084
I've decided
I can't go away quietly.

288
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,086
I'm fighting for your love.

289
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,879
With a dinette set?

290
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,923
Oh, this isn't just any dinette
set. It's our biggest seller.

291
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:16,176
And it's not pressed wood--

292
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:17,636
it's oak!

293
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:20,180
Ira, I don't like this.

294
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,890
Would you prefer
a leather sectional?

295
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,726
Uh, what's going on?
(chuckles)

296
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,270
Uh,

297
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,938
can I call you back?

298
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,524
I look forward to it.

299
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,233
You shouldn't.

300
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,196
Okay.

301
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,156
I guess
you could say

302
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,866
one of my former boyfriends

303
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,452
is trying to win me back
with furniture.

304
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:45,163
Huh. Impressive.

305
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,040
This is real oak.

306
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,459
Was that him
on the phone?

307
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,461
Yes. I'm sorry.

308
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,297
Interesting.

309
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,923
What?

310
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,426
Being challenged by another man

311
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:01,888
is making you more
attractive to me.

312
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:03,682
I don't follow.

313
00:12:03,722 --> 00:12:05,724
I'll have to do
some research,

314
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:09,728
but I'm guessing
this is a genetic instinct

315
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:13,732
that's raising my libido.

316
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,319
(chuckling):
I need a drink.

317
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,991
Can you believe he tried to win
me back with a dinette set?

318
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:24,118
I'd give you a dinette set
if you'd leave Texas.

319
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,329
So, would you return it?

320
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,997
Hell no, I'm keeping it.

321
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,583
But then you'll be
beholden to him.

322
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,167
(sighs)

323
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:32,960
Would you ever take Ira back?

324
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:33,961
I don't know.

325
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:37,215
He's sweet as he can be, but...

326
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,093
there's just something
about John.

327
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,721
He's like a cute
little teddy bear, you know?

328
00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:44,013
A brilliant,

329
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,432
bicycle-riding

330
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,183
teddy bear.

331
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,227
I don't even understand half
of what he says.

332
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,187
But...

333
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:55,066
when he's not around,
I just miss him.

334
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,861
Sounds like you're
falling in love.

335
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,948
Maybe I am.

336
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:04,158
Excellent.
I love him, too.

337
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,535
Get out of here!

338
00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:07,161
If you don't understand
what Dr. Sturgis says,

339
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,455
I'm happy
to explain it to you.

340
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,956
Get!

341
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:16,003
STURGIS:
Excuse me.

342
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,422
I'm looking for Ira.

343
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,215
At your service.
What can I do for you?

344
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:22,636
You, sir,
have overstepped your bounds.

345
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,387
(chuckles)
I'm sorry, what?

346
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,888
Miss Constance Tucker

347
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:29,434
made it clear your courtship
was no longer welcome,

348
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,312
and you responded
with six chairs,

349
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:35,565
a table, and an expansion leaf.

350
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,317
Who are you?

351
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,901
John Sturgis,

352
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,528
the man she chose

353
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,405
and your romantic rival.

354
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:45,074
I-I'm sorry, wait, what-what
is it you want from me?

355
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:48,202
I want you to give up
your pursuit of Connie.

356
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,913
All right, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave my store.

357
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,832
Very well.

358
00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:56,835
The line in the sand
has been drawn.

359
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,798
Cross it at your own peril.

360
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,887
(quietly):
Weirdo.

361
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,564
What was that?

362
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:17,816
You heard me.

363
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:21,402
Sir, I am a man with feelings.

364
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:25,156
And you have hurt them.

365
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,202
I know you've had
a number of...

366
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,204
gentleman callers,

367
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,832
but I've never heard you
speak like this before.

368
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:35,542
"Gentleman callers"?

369
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,959
And we wonder where
Sheldon gets it.

370
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,419
(laughs)

371
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:39,754
I'm sorry y'all find this funny,

372
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,172
but this is the first time

373
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,550
my mother's expressed
real interest in a man

374
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:44,925
since Dad died.

375
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,053
Forgive me for
wanting to know more.

376
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,889
You really want to know more?

377
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:54,477
Imagine you're getting on
in years,

378
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,437
you and your husband
about to retire,

379
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,523
get a little timeshare
in Sarasota,

380
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,526
and... suddenly...

381
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,653
he's gone,

382
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,988
and you're all alone.

383
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,449
You mourn, you cry,

384
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:12,078
but eventually you move on.

385
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,205
You start dating a little,

386
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,791
and it's all good fun.

387
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,043
But always in the back
of your mind,

388
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:22,547
there's that question...

389
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:26,885
"Will I be alone in the end?"

390
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,306
(sniffles)

391
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,517
Why y'all looking at me for?

392
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:37,019
(sniffling)

393
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,521
Haven't slept in days.

394
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:40,356
It's like I'm
a lovesick teenager,

395
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:43,693
except I remember the
Truman administration.
(chuckles)

396
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:46,279
Your feelings
are understandable.

397
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,197
Connie is
a remarkable woman.

398
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,908
Yes, she is.

399
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,326
But, again, I'm sorry. I should
never have called you weird.

400
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,621
I mean, eh, it was rude.

401
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,873
I've been called
much worse.

402
00:15:56,915 --> 00:16:01,210
A professor once called me
ostrobogulous.

403
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,837
I had to look that one up.

404
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:04,171
What's it mean?

405
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,423
That I'm a weirdo.

406
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,591
(laughs)

407
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,218
John, you're a great guy.

408
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,428
Well, you, too!

409
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,513
But I hope you
understand, I just...

410
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:13,932
I can't give up on Connie.

411
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,476
That's all right.
To tell you the truth,

412
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:20,647
I'm finding the competition
quite exhilarating.

413
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:21,731
You are?

414
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,274
Oh, yes.

415
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,526
The night
the dinette set arrived,

416
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:29,113
I did my first push-up
in 40 years.

417
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,115
(laughs, snorts)

418
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,242
I'm sorry, but I find
that to be, uh--

419
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:35,578
what's the word--
astro-boobulous?

420
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,080
Ostrobogulous.

421
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,165
Ostrobogulous.

422
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:40,959
Exactly.

423
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,878
Now, give me your best price

424
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,421
on one of these

425
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:48,048
with a cup holder.

426
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,849
John! What
a pleasant surprise.

427
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,016
I have some news for you.
Oh?

428
00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:00,102
Mwah. What is that?
Mwah.

429
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:03,189
I went to the furniture
store and spoke to Ira.

430
00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:06,192
Why would you do that?
To demand

431
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:09,278
that he respect your
wish to be left alone.

432
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:13,825
John, it was not
your place to do that.

433
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:16,160
Well, if it helps,

434
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,746
he doesn't plan on
leaving you alone.

435
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:28,255
What the hell
were you thinking?!

436
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,924
That I was being chivalrous.

437
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,968
By going behind my back?

438
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,303
You seem upset.

439
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:36,055
I am upset!

440
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,766
And how I handle Ira
is my business!

441
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:41,185
Well, I hope you do it gently.

442
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,729
He's very vulnerable these days.

443
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,564
You're friends now?

444
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,273
Well, I wouldn't say friends,

445
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,234
but I could see, over time,

446
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,443
you know,
we might...

447
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:50,820
Are you two fighting?

448
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,406
No.

449
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,866
Oh, good.
(chuckles)

450
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:57,201
I was almost certain
that we were.

451
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,118
We are.

452
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,787
I'm confused.
Me, too.

453
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,956
Is this because you went
to the furniture store?

454
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,081
He knows about this?

455
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,792
Yes.
Yes.
All right, now, listen,

456
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,086
if this relationship's
gonna have any chance at all,

457
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,796
we have to lay down
some ground rules.

458
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:10,172
Great. I love rules.

459
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,632
I do, too.

460
00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:13,760
I don't want you talking to him
about anything

461
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,094
having to do
with anything about us.

462
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:16,095
Same with you.

463
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:17,346
And I want you
to stop

464
00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,348
spying on me
with those binoculars

465
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,559
like you're on some kind
of African safari.

466
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,143
And you cannot talk

467
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:26,814
to Ira or any of my
ex-boyfriends, for that matter.

468
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,733
This list is getting long.

469
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,484
Maybe we should write it down.

470
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,028
Hey.

471
00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:34,363
ADULT SHELDON:
In that moment,

472
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,240
I had an epiphany.

473
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:40,954
I could draw up a contract
for any social relationship.

474
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,496
(whirring)

475
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:45,165
It was a helpful way
to remove ambiguity

476
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,501
in a world that was often hard
to understand.

477
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,462
Article three--

478
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:51,672
Sheldon will not spy

479
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:55,051
on Meemaw's house
with binoculars.

480
00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,636
Type that one in bold.

481
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,930
(clicking)

482
00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:03,517
(whirring)

483
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,982
Please sign and date.

484
00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:11,567
You know, Sheldon,
I'm a notary, if that helps.

485
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:13,736
Just when I thought
you couldn't get cooler.

486
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,989
ADULT SHELDON:
I would go on

487
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:18,908
to draw up such contracts
throughout my life--

488
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,534
with roommates,

489
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,912
with my wife.

490
00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:26,749
Even with my own children.
hroughout my life--