ADULT SHELDON: Some people have said I'm overly sensitive.
(screaming)
What now?
Missy gave me cinnamon gum!
Sure, sure.
ADULT SHELDON: And by some people, I mean everyone.
(panting)
While I may not be X-Men material...
(sniffing)
...I have always possessed unusually heightened senses.
Ew.
Georgie, put your shoes back on!
He can't smell this.
Yes, I can!
ADULT SHELDON: I also had extraordinary hearing.
During dinner, I could tune out the cacophony of chewing,
slurping,
chewing, cutlery scraping against plates,
chewing,
and my father's heavy breathing
as he wrestled with a ketchup bottle.
(George Sr. breathing heavily)
But tonight, there was one sound I couldn't tune out.
(high-pitched buzzing)
(slurping)
Why aren't you eating, Sheldon?
(buzzing continues) How can I with that horrible noise?
What noise?
That irritating, high-pitched buzz.
I don't hear nothin'.
Me, neither.
(buzzing continues) How can you not?
MISSY: Wait.
I think I hear it.
You do? Yeah.
It's coming out of your face.
(buzzing continues)
I guess I hear a little hum.
Refrigerators make noise, Sheldon.
This is new. It's never made this sound before.
We should call a repairman.
I'm not spending money on a fridge that's workin'.
Then think of it as spending money on my mental stability.
Ignore it, Sheldon.
ADULT SHELDON: Ignoring things that irritate me isn't my strong suit.
(buzzing continues)
Obsessively fixating on them--
now that's what gets me out of bed in the morning.
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
(refrigerator buzzing)
(Sheldon humming)
What are you doing?
The sound from the refrigerator.
It's right between D and D-sharp.
Ugh! It's making my skin crawl.
What if I hold a pillow over your face
for, like, a really long time?
No, that's dangerous.
Do you know if we have earplugs?
If we did, I'd be wearing them.
Go to sleep.
(sighs) I can't.
Put your fingers in your ears.
And risk driving wax back into my inner ear canal?
No, thank you.
(sighs)
(humming)
Oh.
(continues humming note)
Good morning. (yells)
(chuckles): Are you trying to kill me?
No, I think you're great.
Then why are you in my bed?
I couldn't sleep.
Our refrigerator is making a weird noise.
But so was one of your nostrils,
so don't expect me back tonight.
Go home before I call the police.
You wouldn't call the police on your Moonpie.
Then I'll call your mother.
That you would do.
And leave my extra key behind.
Aw.
(indistinct chatter)
Do you know anything about surviving psychological torture?
Because my family escaped communist Vietnam,
we have to know about torture?
That was my thought.
Well, you're in luck.
What do you want to know?
I'm being tormented by a sound coming from our refrigerator,
and I don't know how to deal with it.
When my uncle was in a reeducation camp,
he would imagine disemboweling his torturers
with a bamboo spike.
Maybe I'll just get a book on refrigerator repair instead.
Okay.
New subject.
Jessica Gieger wears a black bra.
I saw it through the sleeve of her shirt.
Not beige, not pink.
Black.
So mysterious.
What are you doing? I'm going
to take apart the refrigerator
and figure out what's making that noise.
That is a really good idea.
Usually you're not supportive of my efforts.
I'm more mature now.
(Missy giggles)
Hi, Mom.
What did you do?!
Good news. I found out what part was making that noise.
You have to put this back together!
Now we're getting to the bad news.
What made you think you could fix this?
I'm smart... and I had a book.
Do you still think you're smart?
Yes.
I told him not to do it. He wouldn't listen.
$200?!
It'll be okay. We'll find the money.
(scoffs) Wait.
The old fridge in the garage! (inhales sharply)
What's it...? What was...? What's that?
(inhales sharply)
Well, I kind of donated that fridge to the church.
You know, for the needy.
Are you kidding me?
I see tense moments like this more than you think. (laughs)
I'll just give you guys some space.
You know how much it's gonna cost to fix that fridge?
$200. I have really good hearing.
Do you have any idea how hard I work for the money we get?
I'm sorry.
I don't care how long it takes.
You're gonna pay me back every cent of this.
Yes, sir.
I am very disappointed in you.
(quivering breath)
You know if you cry, I can't enjoy your pain.
(crying)
(crying loudly)
♪ ♪
Mom,
since Sheldon cost you all that money,
who's your new favorite-- me or Georgie?
You know I don't have favorites.
Yeah, right.
Okay, whoever takes the trash out first is my favorite.
She thinks we're stupid.
Dad, I'm pleased to tell you
I've got a job to pay back my debt.
Is that so?
I'm going to be a paperboy.
(chuckles): Well, that's great.
I'm proud of ya.
How do you plan on delivering these papers?
Bicycle. You don't know how to ride a bicycle.
There's nothing I can't learn.
A week ago, I didn't know how to take apart a refrigerator.
(quietly): He can't deliver newspapers.
Why not? It's too dangerous.
I think you're being a little overprotective.
You expect him to go riding around at 5:00 a.m.
with cars and dogs and who knows what else?
I did it when I was his age. So did Georgie.
You're gonna teach your brother how to do this.
What if I don't want to?
You're doing it anyway.
Hey, nobody asked your opinion.
I knew the answer. I got excited.
(sighs)
(insects chirping)
Georgie?
What?
I'm ready to scrub the moral stain off my character.
I hate everything about you.
SHELDON: When does the truck bring the papers?
When it does.
That's a tautology.
What? A tautology.
A statement that's true, but uninformative.
Hey, you're supposed to be the one teaching me.
That's funny.
(vehicle approaching)
Oh, there it is!
Over here! Over here!
This is exciting.
It's somethin'.
Thank you! Have a great day!
Now what?
Take 'em into the garage and fold 'em.
Oh, boy.
(grunting)
GEORGE JR.: Fold 'em like this, then rubber band.
But you didn't fold it into even thirds.
Nobody cares. I care.
Then do whatever you want.
Wake me up when you're done.
ADULT SHELDON: Over the next 17 minutes,
I used physics, geometry and old-fashioned hard work
to create the perfect newspaper-folding system.
I'm done.
Great. Let's load up the wagon.
No, I'm done with this one; I still have 39 more to go.
(sighs) He's gonna be fine.
You don't have to tell me that.
I know he's gonna be fine.
(groans) If you believe that,
why aren't you in bed right now?
Because this is the same boy who couldn't find his way out
of that sleeping bag.
(sighs) He made his way out.
Just took him five or ten minutes.
I know you're worried, but...
he needs to experience the world a little bit.
Why not let him do it when most of it's asleep?
I suppose you're right.
(grunts) You coming back to bed?
Are you crazy?
That's my little boy out there in the dark.
Mm, but your big boy's right here under the covers.
Ugh.
There is a nicer way to say that.
All right, you got your list of addresses?
Right here. 'Kay. All you got to do
is go up to each house and throw the newspaper
at their front door.
Got it.
All right, I'm going back to bed.
Thank you, Georgie.
You've been a wonderful teacher,
and I'm very appreciative that you took the ti--
Ah! My hands are black!
Why are my hands black? Relax.
It's just the ink from the papers.
Why wasn't I warned of this?!
(water running)
Out, damned spot.
That's from Shakespeare!
("Slow Ride" by Foghat playing)
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Slow ride ♪
♪ Take it easy ♪
♪ Slow ride ♪
♪ Take it easy ♪
♪ Slow ride ♪
♪ Take it easy ♪
Aw.
♪ ♪
Hey, Sheldon.
Hello, Billy.
Are you our new paperboy?
Yes, I'm joining the work-a-day world.
I work, too! I take care of our chickens.
Don't get the wrong idea.
When I grow up, I plan on being a theoretical physicist.
Cool.
I'm sticking with chickens.
All righty then. Have a nice day.
You, too.
Oh, cool, it's Monday.
♪ Hold me ♪
♪ Roll me ♪
♪ Slow ridin' woman ♪
♪ You're so fine ♪
How's he doing?
Been out here 20 minutes. This is his second house.
♪ ♪
(Meemaw chuckles)
He throws like you. (chuckles)
♪ Slow ride ♪
ADULT SHELDON: To say this first day
was challenging would be an understatement.
To say the rest of the week got better from there would be
the kind of lie that sets pants on fire.
♪ Slow ride ♪
♪ Take it easy ♪
♪ Slow down ♪
(barking)
(screams)
♪ Got to get your lovin' ♪
(caws) (screams)
♪ Hold me ♪ (caws)
(thunder rumbles, wind blowing) ♪ Roll me ♪
♪ Slow ridin' woman ♪
♪ You're so fine ♪ Ah!
Oh, no! Oh, my! Oh!
Oh, no! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear!
Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Ah! Ah!
(thunder rumbling)
♪ Slow ride ♪
Oh, dear. ♪ Easy ♪
Oh, dear.
(shouting)
Oh, dear!
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
Oh, dear, oh, dear. Oh, dear, oh, dear.
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
♪ Slow ride ♪ Fun fact,
the larger Sunday paper required a second bundle.
(grunts)
Oh, dear. ♪ Slow ride. ♪
ADULT SHELDON: After a week of tangling with animals,
Mother Nature, and a delivery man
with a good arm and a bad attitude,
it was time to reap the benefits of my hard work.
(knocking)
Collecting!
Hey, Sheldon. Hello, Mrs. Sparks.
I'm here to collect for this week's paper delivery.
Right. Hang on.
Also, I'm given to understand that tipping is customary,
so feel free to express your appreciation.
Here you go.
You tipped me a dime?
Is there a problem?
No, it just doesn't seem like very much.
You were late every day.
Well, I had to brave the elements.
I saw you.
"Brave" isn't the word that I would use.
(cackles)
(chuckles)
Hey, Sheldon.
You look sad.
I am.
Want an egg?
(alarm beeping)
(groans)
Sheldon?
What?
You suck.
I'm sorry, but I have a job to do.
How much longer till you pay Dad back?
At this rate, six months.
You suck.
MacELROY: Make sure your parents
sign these. I'll need 'em back by Friday.
Mr. Cooper, you're late.
I know I'm late.
My training wheels broke.
Training wheels?
Yes, Derek!
I have training wheels like a child!
I also have a job like an adult.
I'm a very complicated person!
Sure. Let's go with complicated.
Okay. Permission slips.
What's in the mug?
It's a coffee mug, Tam.
What do you think is in it?
Could be soup.
(whispers): It's coffee.
Where'd you get it?
The teachers' lounge. And before you ask,
no, I'm not the world's greatest grandpa.
Since when do you drink coffee?
I don't, but this job is killing me.
You wouldn't understand.
(sips, coughs)
You realize I have a job.
At your parents' convenience store?
That doesn't count.
Why not?
You get to sit at a cash register
and have the fun of doing math.
Actually, the cash register tells you
how much change to give.
Oh. That's too bad.
(sips)
(coughs)
Oh, I hear they're opening an Olive Garden
where the old Sizzler used to be. On Hampton Road?
Yeah. GEORGE SR.: I don't think that was a Sizzler.
That was a Chi-Chi's.
No, the Chi-Chi's is on Bedford,
across from the Payless Shoes.
She's right. Because, one time, we got shoes
and then we got Chi-Chi's.
That was a good day.
GEORGE SR.: Huh. I guess that was a Sizzler.
I'm sorry they closed that.
Oh, there's still the other one on Route 40.
Who cares?!
You have a problem?
Yes, I do. I've had a long day.
Is it too much to ask for a dinner
with a little peace and quiet?
Sheldon, you do not talk
to your father like that.
Fine. I'd rather not speak to any of you.
(grunts)
Maybe I better go talk to him.
No, I got this. George,
maybe you should calm down first.
I got this.
You want to explain yourself?
I'd rather just go to bed,
since I have to be up in a few hours anyway.
Look, I understand you're tired, but that is no reason for you...
I'm not just tired. I'm exhausted.
Everything hurts.
I get up in the morning
to do this job I don't even like.
And I'm doing it just for the money,
and it's not even a lot of money.
I keep trying harder and harder,
and it doesn't even make a difference.
So if you're going to yell at me or punish me,
let's just get it over with.
(sighs)
I'm not gonna punish you.
Why not? I deserve it.
Let me tell you about my day.
I got yelled at by the principal
for benching a linebacker who's flunking English.
Then I got yelled at even more by the kid's parents.
Then I had to break up a fight in the locker room.
Got elbowed in the neck.
That's a rough day.
That was all before 10:00 a.m.
So I get what you're going through.
But you'll notice, I didn't come home and take it out on you.
No, you didn't.
I want you to get back in there,
apologize to everyone, and finish your dinner.
Yes, sir.
ADULT SHELDON: My father's wisdom touched me deeply.
Which is why, to this day,
no matter what I'm going through,
I am never irritating or abusive
to any of my friends or loved ones.
Ask them. They'll tell you.
ADULT SHELDON: For the next several months,
I continued working my paper route
until I paid my father back.
(thunder rumbling)
And by "working," I mean "delegating."
I have no idea where I am. elegating."