1 00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:02,837 ADULT SHELDON: I'd like to tell you a story 2 00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:04,254 about a time I was right. 3 00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:05,589 Now, I'm sure you're thinking, 4 00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:08,300 "But, Sheldon, you're never wrong." 5 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,261 And you'd be right. 6 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:13,305 But it's worth taking a closer look 7 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,183 at this particular incident. 8 00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:18,560 Because it began with a loaf of bread, 9 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,771 and ended with me and my family 10 00:00:20,813 --> 00:00:25,108 almost being kicked out of the United States of America. 11 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,364 Uh-oh. 12 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,115 What's the matter? 13 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,284 Something's wrong with my sandwich. 14 00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:35,870 Did it go bad? 15 00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:39,456 No. It just tastes... different. 16 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:42,083 If you don't want it, I'll trade you for my dumplings. 17 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,669 I'm already unhappy. 18 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,671 Do you really think dumplings will fix the problem? 19 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,924 It'll fix my problem. I'm sick of dumplings. 20 00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,176 (phone rings) 21 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,554 Mary Cooper, how may I bless you? 22 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:54,638 SHELDON: Hello, Mom? 23 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,348 Sheldon? Everything okay? 24 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,892 No. What's wrong? 25 00:00:57,933 --> 00:01:00,686 What happened? My sandwich tastes different. 26 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,022 (sighs) You know you're not supposed to call 27 00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,314 unless it's an emergency. 28 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:07,150 I'm well aware. So what did you change? 29 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,736 I didn't change anything. 30 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,613 Same bread, same peanut butter, same jelly. 31 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,700 Did you use one knife for the PB and the J? 32 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,244 No. Are you sure? 33 00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:19,538 That was one time two years ago, 34 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,122 and all the other knives were dirty. 35 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,166 It was 14 months and 11 days ago. 36 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,502 When we made the big switch from Wonder Bread. 37 00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:26,670 Oh, how could I forget? 38 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,048 Sheldon, I didn't change anything. 39 00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:30,799 Can I get back to work now? 40 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,176 I suppose so. 41 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:34,720 Thank you. Bye. 42 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,388 Don't I get an "I love you"? 43 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,139 I love you. 44 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:40,684 One more time, with a little more energy. 45 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:43,729 (phone hangs up, dial tone sounds) 46 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,690 Must've been disconnected. 47 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:49,735 Well, my mother didn't do anything differently. 48 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,403 Are you gonna eat it? 49 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,698 Better. I'm going to do science on it. 50 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:57,451 (sighs) I would eat it. 51 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,621 Are the goggles necessary? 52 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,331 No, but they really set the mood. 53 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:06,668 Okay, subject "A," jelly. 54 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:14,384 That's definitely strawberry and definitely Smuckers. 55 00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:17,054 Subject "B." 56 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,935 That's Jif all right. Creamy and delicious. 57 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:24,269 It must be the bread. 58 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:28,065 Hold on. This is a scientific experiment. 59 00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:29,441 We can't make assumptions. 60 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,694 Subject "C." 61 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,696 It's the bread. 62 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:38,199 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 63 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,869 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 64 00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:43,246 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 65 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:46,125 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 66 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:50,420 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 67 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,972 Welcome to the family, Hacksaw. 68 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:02,975 (sniffles) 69 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:07,896 Hey. 70 00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:10,691 Oh. Hey, Georgie. 71 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:11,650 You okay? 72 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,527 Mm-hmm. 73 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:14,569 You sure? 74 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,655 Not really. 75 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:20,034 Um... Dustin broke up with me. 76 00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:22,410 What? 77 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,788 He said I was immature. (sniffs) 78 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,040 Is he crazy? 79 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:29,001 Everything about you screams womanhood. 80 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:31,586 See? 81 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,131 Happy Hearth Home Bakeries, just like always. 82 00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:37,425 Well, something is rotten in the state of Denmark. What? 83 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,845 That's Shakespeare, Mom. Great. 84 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,305 Missy, did your sandwich taste different today? 85 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,725 Couldn't tell you. I traded it for a Ding Dong. 86 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,728 Your sandwich is exactly the same, Sheldon. 87 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:49,813 What's going on? 88 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,272 This bread is different. 89 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,691 Let me see. 90 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,485 You know, he might be right. 91 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,696 Ow. 92 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,948 Shelly, it's probably just your taste buds 93 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,408 changing as you get older. 94 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:02,868 But I don't like change. 95 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,745 Then you're gonna hate puberty. 96 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:08,623 Got me with your ring. 97 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:11,459 She wasn't wrong. 98 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,961 Studies do support that your sense of taste 99 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,421 changes over time. 100 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,715 So the bread's the same and you're different? 101 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,466 Apparently so. 102 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:23,555 Nope, it's the bread. 103 00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,100 (school bell rings) 104 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:36,276 Hey. 105 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,445 Hi. 106 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:40,864 I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat 107 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,282 at the Waffle House? 108 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:44,952 Not like a date. 109 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,370 But as someone who recently had his heart broke, 110 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,872 I think I could help. 111 00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,791 Who broke your heart? 112 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,542 I love you. 113 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,461 (others gasping) Ooh! 114 00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:55,545 You did. 115 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,714 Oh. Yeah. 116 00:04:57,756 --> 00:05:00,300 I'm just saying, 117 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:02,136 I know what you're going through. 118 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,679 So if you need a friend with a pocket full of waffle money... 119 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,473 (chuckles) 120 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:09,810 (woman speaks indistinctly over P.A.) 121 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,478 TAM: Look at these prices. 122 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,188 No wonder supermarkets are running my parents 123 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,648 out of business. 124 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,608 Your parents own a convenience store. 125 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,777 They charge extra for the convenience. 126 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,487 How is this not convenient? 127 00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:21,696 Excuse me, sir. 128 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,115 Has anything changed with the bread 129 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,408 from the Happy Hearth Home Bakeries? 130 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,618 I have no idea. 131 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,829 How can you not know? You work here. 132 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,080 What do you want from me? 133 00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:32,540 I get $3.35 an hour to stock shelves. 134 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,750 Are you kidding? 135 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:36,003 My father pays me five dollars a week. 136 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,423 I bet they're violating child labor laws. 137 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,925 Look. This loaf says 138 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:44,970 "A subsidiary of the Domestic Food Corporation." 139 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,429 This older loaf doesn't. 140 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,890 I wonder if I can take my parents to court? 141 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:51,810 (sniffs) It smells like my bread. 142 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,437 Or I could start a labor union with my sisters. 143 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,481 This is it! This is my bread! 144 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,275 We could go on strike. 145 00:05:58,317 --> 00:06:00,527 Bring them to their knees. 146 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,029 SHELDON: Vindication! 147 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,909 (phone rings) 148 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,328 Happy Hearth Home Bakeries, 149 00:06:09,368 --> 00:06:11,205 this is Pete. How can I help you? 150 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,956 Hello, Pete. My name is Sheldon Cooper, 151 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,042 and I would like to know what changed 152 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,169 in your white sandwich loaf to make it taste different? 153 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:19,546 Sheldon, hang up the phone. It's dinner time. 154 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,674 Be right there, Mom. I'm doing battle with corporate America. 155 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,591 I'm sorry, Pete. 156 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,135 You were saying? 157 00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:27,762 Any chance your bread was past the expiration date? 158 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,057 No, it was brand-new. But I did a taste comparison 159 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,809 after it was bought out by the Domestic Food Corporation, 160 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,187 and they are definitely not the same. 161 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:38,690 Well, I can assure you that, "the recent acquisition 162 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,651 "by the Domestic Food Corporation has not affected 163 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,820 "the quality of our products in any way. 164 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:46,698 "Every single bread, baked good, and pastry 165 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,201 is made with love. From our hearth to your home." 166 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,995 Then why does it taste different, Pete? Why? 167 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:53,580 Well, because now we make everything 168 00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:56,083 really cheap and fast. Bye. 169 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,797 I thought Dustin was different. 170 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,300 I thought he wanted to live a Christian life like me. 171 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:08,929 But... all he wanted is what every guy wants. 172 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,764 (scoffs) Guys. 173 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,683 Oh, please, you're all the same. 174 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,270 Hey. You rejected me, you punched me in the face, 175 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,231 and I'm still here. 176 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,607 Happy eating waffles with you. 177 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:24,652 Georgie, do you really think you're capable 178 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,029 of just being my friend? 179 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:28,865 That's a good question. 180 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,118 My brain says yes. 181 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:32,953 What about the rest of you? 182 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,455 Honestly, I wouldn't trust it. 183 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,664 (laughs) 184 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,961 Excuse me. Would you like to sign my petition 185 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,462 against Happy Hearth Home Bakeries? 186 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,881 Maybe on the way out. 187 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,259 Excuse me. Would you like to sign my petition 188 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,219 against Happy Hearth Home Bakeries? 189 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:51,430 Oh. Maybe on the way out. 190 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,680 I hate to say it. 191 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,141 But everybody's way out 192 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,850 is at the other set of doors. 193 00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:59,854 I have noticed. Why do you think that is? 194 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,565 Cowards. The whole bunch of 'em. 195 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:05,319 Mr. Givens! 196 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,780 (sighs) Hello, Sheldon. 197 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,491 Meemaw, this is my science teacher, Mr. Givens. 198 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:13,160 Nice to meet ya. Hi. 199 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,786 This is strange, I never think of you 200 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,579 as existing outside of school. 201 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,706 Well, it turns out I do. 202 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,875 And you're here buying food. 203 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,501 I am. 204 00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,379 Fascinating. 205 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,256 All right. 206 00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,882 Well, I'll see you on Monday. Wait. 207 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,634 Would you like to sign my petition 208 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,927 against Happy Hearth Home Bakeries? 209 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,304 Well, what have they done? 210 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,055 They're making their bread faster and cheaper 211 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,098 to save money. 212 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,808 That's terrible. 213 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,311 It is. Would you like to sign? 214 00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:41,355 I would. Excellent. 215 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:44,565 I'll get you on the way out. Thank you. 216 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,152 Well, that's one. 217 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,488 Yeah. 218 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:58,288 GEORGE JR.: I know it's tough, but you gotta be strong. 219 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,832 And remember, you're not alone. 220 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:01,875 Hello? 221 00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,460 Kinda busy. 222 00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:04,961 Well, there's only one bathroom in the house, Georgie, 223 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,921 and it's not for phone calls. 224 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:08,089 I got to call you back. 225 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,509 Sorry. 226 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,260 Who you talking to? 227 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,970 That Veronica girl? 228 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:14,929 Yeah. 229 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,181 What's going on with that? 230 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,932 Nothing. We're just friends. 231 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:21,602 Okay. You ever want to run any of this stuff by me, 232 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,729 I'm here for you. 233 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:24,898 Why would I want to run it by you? 234 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:27,484 Well, I was once a 15-year-old boy. 235 00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:30,445 I know what it's like to have strong feelings for a girl. 236 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:34,449 Gross. I'm not gonna talk to you about this. 237 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,493 I-I saw that kid on Who's the Boss 238 00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,745 talk to Tony Danza about his problems. 239 00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:41,873 They're not related. This is totally different. 240 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,424 Damn it, Georgie, you could flush once in a while. (toilet flushes) 241 00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,176 On behalf of sandwich-loving children 242 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,969 everywhere, I thank you. 243 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,847 How many is that? 13. 244 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,558 A baker's dozen. What do you say we 245 00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,309 pack up and head outta here? 246 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,395 No, we have to wait for Channel 7 news. 247 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:04,645 Channel 7? 248 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,314 Yes. I called them this morning 249 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,732 and told them there was a human interest story 250 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,067 at the supermarket. 251 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,068 What story? 252 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,570 Classic Americana. 253 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,280 Little guy versus corporate greed. 254 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,032 Honey, Channel 7 is not coming. 255 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,742 (horn honks) 256 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:19,660 You Sheldon Cooper? 257 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:20,745 Yes, ma'am. 258 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,205 You got to be kidding me. 259 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,498 How's my hair look? 260 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,048 Hey, how'd it go? 261 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,758 Great. Turn to Channel 7. 262 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,009 But I'm watching the game. 263 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,095 But I'm going to be on Channel 7. 264 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,179 What's he talking about? 265 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:41,099 He's gonna be on Channel 7. 266 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,394 SHELDON (on TV): I was shocked to learn 267 00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,271 that the Happy Hearth Home Bakeries had been bought out 268 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,022 by the Domestic Food Corporation, 269 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,484 and they started making their bread faster and cheaper. 270 00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:52,944 And you don't like that, do you? No. 271 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,571 REPORTER: And you're collecting signatures 272 00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:56,448 to make them stop. I am. 273 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,825 Corporations shouldn't be allowed to make 274 00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,201 these decisions on their own. 275 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:01,620 REPORTER: Well, who should? 276 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,288 The people who eat the bread. 277 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,748 This wouldn't happen if there were centralized control 278 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,167 over all these big corporations. 279 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,709 REPORTER: Are you suggesting 280 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:11,838 a communist form of government in Texas? 281 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:12,922 I suppose I am. 282 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,299 MEEMAW: Hang on a sec... 283 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,177 There you have it. Local boy Sheldon Cooper 284 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:20,555 says communism is what Texas needs. 285 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,681 Oh, dear God. 286 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,521 I just... You... 287 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,772 Why... I-I-I-I-I... 288 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:30,898 Why would you... 289 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,276 What were you th... 290 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:34,944 Oh, God. MARY: Calm down. 291 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,155 It was just the 4:00 news. I'm sure no one saw it. 292 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,490 I hope a lot of people saw it 293 00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:39,782 and Happy Hearth is forced 294 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,451 to give our country good bread again. 295 00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:42,743 No! No more bread. 296 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,871 No more country. No more talking. 297 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,290 Excuse me. 298 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,000 Where are you going? 299 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,044 I'm gonna go put up an American flag in front of my house. 300 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,587 That's a great idea. Mare, where's our flag? 301 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,548 Uh, uh, it's in the garage. 302 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,759 Is something wrong? 303 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,555 Yes, Sheldon, something is wrong. 304 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:03,806 (doorbell rings) Oh, now what? 305 00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:08,061 Is anybody going to fill me in? 306 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,022 Not a good time, Brenda. 307 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,483 I don't want your boy playing with my boy anymore. 308 00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:15,943 Excuse me? (phone ringing) 309 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,153 Someone get that! 310 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,155 I just saw Sheldon on the news. 311 00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,365 He doesn't need to be filling 312 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,201 Billy's head with crazy commie ideas. 313 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,744 Crazier than sitting on an egg and trying to hatch it? 314 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:28,623 'Cause I saw your precious son do that the other day. 315 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,125 Oh, so you're spying on us. 316 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,545 Good to know. 317 00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,838 (grunts) 318 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,757 Yes, I do understand we're in the middle of a cold war. 319 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,260 But have you seen 320 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,221 how many people wait in line for bread in Moscow? 321 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,640 It stands to reason their bread must be great. 322 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:46,849 Who you talking to? 323 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,561 A reporter from Time magazine. No! 324 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,312 He didn't mean it. 325 00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:52,897 God bless America. 326 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,233 (exhales) 327 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,910 Traitors. Yeah, go back to Russia. 328 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,828 Go back? 329 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,956 I've never been there in the first place. 330 00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,708 Well, have a great day, Georgie. 331 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,544 A great day? Are you out of your mind? 332 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,170 Our lives are over. 333 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,798 Well, you'll never have a great day with that attitude. 334 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,009 ♪ You're a grand old flag ♪ 335 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,886 ♪ You're a high-flying flag ♪ 336 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:27,348 ♪ And forever in peace may you wave ♪ 337 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:31,686 ♪ You're the emblem of the land I love ♪ 338 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:34,564 ♪ The home of the free and the... ♪ 339 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:42,614 Look, you made my mom's note. 340 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:46,159 "Don't talk to Sheldon. Mom." 341 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,454 That's fine. I usually do most of the talking. 342 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,456 Yes, you do. 343 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,751 ♪ My country, 'tis of thee ♪ 344 00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:58,379 ♪ Sweet land of liberty ♪ 345 00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:01,716 ♪ Of thee I sing ♪ 346 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:05,844 ♪ Land where our fathers died, la... ♪ 347 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,096 Sing along. 348 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:09,766 ♪ Land of the pilgrims' pride... ♪ 349 00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,934 (indistinct chatter) 350 00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:24,280 Mind if I sit? 351 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:26,783 Y-You sure you want to be seen with me? 352 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,868 Oh, please. You're not a commie. 353 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:32,747 Everyone else seems to think I am. 354 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,166 Do you even know what a communist is? 355 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,419 Yeah. It's the big blond guy Rocky fights in Rocky IV. 356 00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,047 And he also fights them when he's Rambo. 357 00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:43,216 (chuckles) That's it? Well, 358 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:46,010 I know in every movie it looks like the commies are gonna win, 359 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,554 but they don't. 360 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,472 (laughs) 361 00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,140 You ever seen any Rocky movies? 362 00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,267 Um, I saw Rocky II. 363 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,311 That's the second one. 364 00:14:56,563 --> 00:15:02,819 ♪ Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner ♪ 365 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:06,656 ♪ Yet wave... ♪ 366 00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:08,949 Hey, you wanted to see me? 367 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,702 Have a seat. 368 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:15,289 (sighs) 369 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,086 Guess what I've been getting a lot of calls about today. 370 00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:22,422 I know it looks bad, but we're handling it. 371 00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,173 It-It'll all blow over. 372 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,633 I'm sorry, George, but I can't have 373 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:28,928 a suspected communist coaching our boys. 374 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:31,431 (chuckles): Whoa, Tom. I'm not... 375 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,099 I love my country. 376 00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:35,059 This is just Sheldon getting bent out of shape 377 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,603 over a loaf of bread. 378 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:39,606 Well, this bread better be worth you losing your job. 379 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:42,316 Now, hang on. G-Give me a chance to fix it. 380 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,694 Please. 381 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,446 (sighs) 382 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,030 All right, George. 383 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,949 But if I hear from one more angry parent... 384 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:53,828 Thank you. Thank you. 385 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,873 (phone rings) 386 00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,041 He's not here. 387 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,549 Mary, you understand these people are atheists. 388 00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,217 I get it. They're not my people. 389 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,803 You're my people. 390 00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:11,178 Then what's this all about? 391 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,097 My son just wanted a better sandwich. 392 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,141 Why is this so hard for y'all to understand?! 393 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,685 ♪ From the mountains ♪ 394 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,646 ♪ To the prairies ♪ 395 00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:24,108 ♪ To the oceans white with foam ♪ 396 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:28,070 ♪ God bless America ♪ 397 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:32,617 ♪ Our home sweet home... ♪ 398 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,410 Pinko! Screw you! 399 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:39,457 ♪ God bless America... ♪ 400 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,208 MAN: Three, two... 401 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,376 Thanks for having me on. 402 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,629 You're welcome. Now, I understand 403 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,130 you wanted to set the record straight 404 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,924 regarding your son's communism. 405 00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,342 Yes. N-No! 406 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,761 He's not a communist. He's ten years old. 407 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:53,847 Listen, I fought for this country. 408 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,348 I love this country. 409 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:56,850 My kids love this country. 410 00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:58,058 Isn't that right, Sheldon? 411 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,560 Yes. 412 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,395 Although, in all fairness, 413 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,648 the Social Security system is a form of... 414 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,984 You love this country! I love this country. 415 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:19,246 I have something important that I'd like to say. 416 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,668 These last few days, 417 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,419 I've been giving the new Happy Hearth bread 418 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,671 another chance, and I've decided 419 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,464 it's not so bad. 420 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,635 Also, it toasts well. 421 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:36,639 So, I'm going to say 422 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,517 that's a sign of personal growth on my part. 423 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,311 In fact, let's call it maturity. 424 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:49,652 Still not talking to me, huh? 425 00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:54,365 Well... I'll check back in tomorrow. y part.