1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:04,588 (birds chirping) 2 00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:08,133 Garden's looking nice. 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:12,680 Well, not to commit the sin of pride, but I know. 4 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,139 How did you come out of me? 5 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,557 So, good news. 6 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,392 John's coming home on Friday. 7 00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,602 That's wonderful. 8 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,312 It is. 9 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,563 You must be thrilled. 10 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,565 Oh, I am. 11 00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,359 Mm. Little nervous? 12 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:26,902 No. No. 13 00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,153 No. 14 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,155 Be understandable if you were. 15 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:33,742 The man has been in a mental institution. 16 00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:36,203 All I know is he sounded like himself on the phone, 17 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:38,789 and the doctors say he's good to go. 18 00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:40,708 Well, that's great. 19 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:44,003 It is. I'm excited. 20 00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:45,963 Well, good. (chuckles) 21 00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:48,716 Very excited. 22 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,551 Okay. 23 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,177 I'm gonna get another beer. 24 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,929 'Cause you're so excited? 25 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,056 You know it! 26 00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:59,059 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 27 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,854 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 28 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:04,481 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 29 00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:06,734 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 30 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:11,279 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 31 00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:14,867 We need to have a talk. 32 00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:16,911 Georgie, get in here! 33 00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,286 Are we in trouble? 34 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,454 No one's in trouble. 35 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,665 What's going on? Have a seat. 36 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:22,917 You're also getting talked to. 37 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,501 Sit. 38 00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:25,794 Ha. 39 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,086 Okay, 40 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:30,007 Dr. Sturgis will be joining us for dinner. 41 00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,258 Hot darn. 42 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:32,509 That guy's back? 43 00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:33,886 I thought he was in the nut house. 44 00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:35,429 We do not call it that. 45 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,889 That's what Dad calls it. 46 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,515 And that's why I made him sit. 47 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:42,394 We need to make sure that Dr. Sturgis feels comfortable. 48 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,021 And how are we supposed to do that? 49 00:01:44,063 --> 00:01:47,274 For starters, do not bring up his time in the hospital. 50 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,609 What if he brings it up? 51 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:51,236 You let the grown-ups handle that. 52 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,405 In this scenario, am I one of the grown-ups? 53 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,615 No. 54 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:55,950 Great. You also 55 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:58,243 will not stare at him during dinner. 56 00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,870 Can I look at him at all? 57 00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:01,080 Yes. 58 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,289 How long can I look at him 59 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,665 before it's considered staring? 60 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,042 When I'm trying not to stare at girls, 61 00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:07,127 my rule is "two Mississippi." 62 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,336 I taught him that. 63 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:09,671 MARY: Just be 64 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,214 on your best behavior. 65 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,759 And if you're not sure if you should say something, 66 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,803 do not say it. 67 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,305 What? 68 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:19,681 Hey, it works. 69 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:22,183 When I hit three Mississippis, she noticed. 70 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,393 See? 71 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,520 Told you. (chuckles) 72 00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:29,524 Meemaw and Dr. Sturgis are out front. 73 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,693 They're walking up the path. 74 00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:33,528 They see me. 75 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,030 I'm waving. 76 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,282 They waved back. 77 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,701 They're close to the door. 78 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,536 Even closer. 79 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,204 Almost there. 80 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,665 Door... 81 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,249 (doorbell rings) ...bell! 82 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,293 Remember everything we talked about. 83 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,795 (door opens) Welcome! 84 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,672 Look who I brought! 85 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,048 (chuckles): Hello! 86 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,675 Come in, come in. 87 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,343 It's so good to see you. 88 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:58,345 I don't normally do this, but... 89 00:02:58,386 --> 00:02:59,721 put her there. 90 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:01,140 No mitten. 91 00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:02,850 I'm honored. 92 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,441 It's just so wonderful to see you all again. 93 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,360 We've been looking forward to it. 94 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:14,569 We sure have. 95 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:15,904 (whispers): One Mississippi, 96 00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,405 two Mississippi. 97 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,452 Uh, why are you counting? 98 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,496 You know Shelly. He loves his numbers. 99 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:25,747 Let's say grace. 100 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,290 (clears throat) 101 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:30,460 Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive 102 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,587 and bless the hands that prepared it. Amen. 103 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:33,881 OTHERS: Amen. 104 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,340 Dig in. 105 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:38,093 Oh, I am so excited to have a home-cooked meal. 106 00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:42,472 The food in the hospital was bland-arino. 107 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,727 Uh, be sure to save room for dessert. 108 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,269 I made banana pudding. 109 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,605 George, tell him how good my banana pudding is. 110 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,566 Good pudding. 111 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:53,859 Lot of bananas. 112 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,110 STURGIS: Well, now, 113 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,196 pardon me if I'm wrong, but... 114 00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:01,158 I would totally understand if any of you felt uncomfortable 115 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,284 about me being here after my time 116 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,745 in the hospital. 117 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,830 Oh, no, we're very comfortable. 118 00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,289 Very comfortable. 119 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,375 Well, just in case, 120 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,251 I want you all to know 121 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:14,671 I'm perfectly happy to answer any questions 122 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,464 that you might have. 123 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,593 You sure you want to do that? 124 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:20,802 Of course. 125 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,304 The best way to destigmatize something 126 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,932 is to talk about it. 127 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,184 May I? 128 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:31,105 Um, go ahead. 129 00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:35,525 Why wasn't I allowed to visit you? 130 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,318 Some of the other patients there 131 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,279 were very unwell, 132 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:43,658 and I didn't want you to be disturbed by their behavior. 133 00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,286 I got one. 134 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:47,495 Here we go. 135 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,456 Did they lock you up in a room? 136 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,792 I wasn't able to leave the hospital 137 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,127 without being discharged, 138 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:56,171 but I was free to walk the grounds. 139 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,800 How did you know when you were all better? 140 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,426 Well, it's not like a cold, 141 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,637 where you have it and then you don't. 142 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:06,056 But I've learned skills that, uh, 143 00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:08,976 help me to manage my mental health. 144 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,436 Well, that went over my head. 145 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,813 I got another one. 146 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,689 In The Shining, Jack Nicholson goes nuts 147 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,942 and chases people around with an ax... 148 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,735 One question each. Dang it. 149 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,862 Should've started with that one. 150 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,615 MEEMAW: How 'bout a little nightcap? 151 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,533 Oh, I don't think so. 152 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,702 Got to ride the old bike home. 153 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,037 Oh? 154 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:31,039 I thought you were staying the night. 155 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,541 I wasn't planning on it. 156 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:35,585 Oh. 157 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,336 Okay. 158 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,881 Now that we're talking about this, um, 159 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,760 we've never really discussed the status of our relationship. 160 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:46,429 Don't you worry. 161 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,391 As far as I'm concerned, we just... 162 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:53,561 pick up right where we left off. 163 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,023 That means a lot. 164 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,774 But, um... 165 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,735 I think it's for the best if we don't. 166 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:03,404 What? I hope we can 167 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,739 still be friends. 168 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,908 But, um, I don't think 169 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:10,287 we should be in a romantic relationship anymore. 170 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:11,496 Are you crazy? 171 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,874 I mean, poor choice of words, but... 172 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,583 are you crazy?! 173 00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,923 Do you-- I-- Do you mean you-you really 174 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,550 don't want to see me anymore? 175 00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,760 (stammers) Don't I get a say in that? 176 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:26,970 Um... 177 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,180 No. 178 00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:31,432 Really? I-I kind of think I do. 179 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,143 Connie, if I'm single and have another episode, 180 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,353 it only hurts me. 181 00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:36,646 If we're together, that hurts you, 182 00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:38,565 and I can't do that again. 183 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:42,610 I have been waiting for you this whole time. 184 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,946 Just more proof that you're a wonderful woman 185 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,157 and you deserve someone you can count on. 186 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,533 (groans loudly) 187 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,286 How about Ira from the furniture store? 188 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:52,620 He's a catch. 189 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,165 Now you're gonna play matchmaker for me? 190 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,958 I suppose I am. 191 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,461 You realize I could call him right now. 192 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,796 I think you should. 193 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,798 You better mean it, 'cause I'll do it. 194 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,717 No time like the present. 195 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,471 I'm doing it. 196 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,226 I'm dialing. 197 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,685 Great. 198 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,107 (line ringing) 199 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:21,358 It's ringing. 200 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,026 Tell him I said hi. 201 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:25,820 (phone rings) 202 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,239 Rosenbloom's Fine Furniture. Ira speaking. 203 00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,908 Hello, Ira. 204 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,327 It's Connie Tucker. 205 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,788 Connie. Oh, my gosh. 206 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,081 How are you? 207 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,166 He wants to know how I am. 208 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,834 Tell him. 209 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,170 I'll call you back. 210 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,755 (click, dial tone) 211 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,548 Can you believe it? It sounds like 212 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,675 he has your best interests at heart. 213 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,261 Men don't break up with me. 214 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,179 I do the breaking up. 215 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,974 Well, I think it's nice that you can still experience new things 216 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,474 at your age. 217 00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,602 Keep it up, and you won't get to my age. 218 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,896 So, are you gonna go out with Ira? 219 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,731 Well, I don't know why not. 220 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,442 Is that really what you want? 221 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,735 Well, I'm sure as hell not gonna sit home by myself 222 00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:07,446 while I try and figure it out. 223 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:10,324 Doesn't sound like you're being nice to Ira. 224 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,909 She's not nice. Been saying it for years. 225 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,873 SHELDON: Mom, 226 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,209 will Dr. Sturgis be coming over again? 227 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,170 Oh. Um... 228 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,879 I don't know. He should. 229 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,215 We had so much fun talking about the mental hospital, 230 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,176 we barely got to talk about science. 231 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,552 Well, I don't know what his plans are. 232 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,263 Is Meemaw coming for dinner tonight? 233 00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:35,265 No. She is busy. 234 00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:37,392 With Dr. Sturgis? Maybe I can join them. 235 00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,436 All my fun facts make me a welcome addition 236 00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:40,937 to any dinner date. 237 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,732 She's not gonna be with Dr. Sturgis, sweetie. 238 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,610 Then I don't understand why I can't invite him over. 239 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:50,489 (sighs) 240 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:55,035 Your meemaw and Dr. Sturgis are... 241 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,996 figuring out how their relationship is gonna work 242 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,580 now that he's back. 243 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:03,043 Why does their relationship need to be any different? 244 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,753 It's complicated. 245 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,090 So, we can't have him over? 246 00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:12,177 Sorry. It's just not a good idea right now. 247 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:14,471 This isn't fair. 248 00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:17,765 I find the one person in Texas who understands me 249 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,101 and now I'm not allowed to see him? 250 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:22,354 Hello! 251 00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:23,938 Come in. 252 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,815 So, uh, Connie is, uh, 253 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,068 okay with my being here? 254 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:31,112 Don't worry about it or, you know, mention it. 255 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,531 Well, here's a pineapple. 256 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,449 It's a symbol of hospitality 257 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,369 dating back to the 1700s. 258 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,246 Thank you. How... 259 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,081 tropical. 260 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,250 Dr. Sturgis, hello! 261 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,959 Hi! 262 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,922 Ooh. Did you know the pineapple is a symbol of hospitality? 263 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,673 As a matter of fact, I did. 264 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,884 You're welcome! 265 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,095 I got to tell you, 266 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,972 this is an unexpected surprise. 267 00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,141 Here's to surprises. 268 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,353 'Cause last I heard, 269 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,896 you and John were still going out. 270 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,523 Well, now I'm not, and I'm here with you, 271 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,400 so let's not talk about him. 272 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:11,278 Ooh. Sounds like this breakup is a little fresh. 273 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,571 Yeah, it was pretty recent. 274 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,821 What, like, a week? Month? 275 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,032 Literally as I was calling you. 276 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:19,744 Well, I'm glad that I was the first person that came to mind. 277 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,247 (chuckles) Actually, you were his idea. 278 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,124 Still glad. 279 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,920 Really? This again? 280 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,838 Just sit. 281 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,173 Where's Meemaw? 282 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,592 Not here tonight. 283 00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:35,594 Why? As I understand it, 284 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,887 now that Dr. Sturgis is back from the hospital, 285 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,264 he and Meemaw are figuring out 286 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,349 how their relationship is going to work. 287 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,767 What does that mean? 288 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,478 Sounds like she dumped him. 289 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,896 (chuckles) Actually, he's the one... Sheldon, didn't you want 290 00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:48,856 to talk about science stuff? Yes. 291 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,484 Good. Do that right now. STURGIS: Well, 292 00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:53,570 I realize being here after ending 293 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,990 my romantic relationship with Connie is unusual. 294 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,658 So, as before, 295 00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,201 I'm perfectly happy 296 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:03,663 to answer any questions that you might have. 297 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:04,872 I have a question. 298 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:07,125 Can I eat in front of the TV? 299 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,127 Sure. 300 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,837 Let's get back to The Shining. 301 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:14,966 When them elevator doors open, oh, man. 302 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:20,805 All right, let me get this straight. Your boyfriend 303 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,098 comes home from the mental hospital, 304 00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,433 he dumps you, 305 00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,059 and he suggests that you go out with me? 306 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:28,062 Yeah. Sounds like a spite date. 307 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,731 Well, gosh, when you say it like that, doesn't sound great. 308 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,192 No. No, no, I'm fine with it. I just... 309 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,818 I want to make sure I got everything right. 310 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,196 Hospital, dumped, spite. 311 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,696 You got it. 312 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,659 All right. I hear the creamed spinach is terrific. 313 00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:43,036 GEORGE JR.: How do relationships work for old people? 314 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,539 When you were young, you didn't think old women looked hot. 315 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,874 But now that you're old, do you? 316 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,251 Well, that's a very interesting question. 317 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,337 Can I speak to you in the kitchen? 318 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,422 I want to hear the answer. STURGIS: I've always found 319 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:57,509 your grandmother to be very hot stuff. 320 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:58,968 All right, let's go. 321 00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:00,845 GEORGE JR.: But you can see her wrinkles, right? 322 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,390 Why don't you take John to a bar or something? 323 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,683 Why? 324 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,184 'Cause the children don't need to hear 325 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,269 about how attractive he finds their grandmother. 326 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,854 Why don't you take him out? 327 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,940 Fine. You make sure the kids take baths and get to bed. 328 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:16,027 Oh, and Sheldon needs his fingernails trimmed. 329 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,655 Hey, John, what do you say you and I go grab a beer? 330 00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:20,823 But we haven't cut open the pineapple yet. 331 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,116 You boys go ahead. 332 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,826 We'll eat the pineapple another time. 333 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,329 But we haven't had a chance to talk about science. 334 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,581 Ooh, can Sheldon come? 335 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,249 Can I? No. 336 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,875 Aw. Aw. 337 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,377 So, enough about me. 338 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,462 What's been going on in your life? Oh, boy. Well, 339 00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,838 after you and I broke up, 340 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,756 I took the opportunity to work on myself. 341 00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,842 Started playing tennis again. 342 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,636 Uh, I-I bought a telescope, which is pretty cool 343 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,013 because you-you got to see the Moon all big and things. 344 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,724 And, uh, I-I tried 345 00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,601 Vietnamese food for the first time, which did not go well. 346 00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:48,851 Oh, very spicy. 347 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,311 You wouldn't believe the heartburn. 348 00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,397 Not enough Tums in the world. 349 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,734 (woman laughs) 350 00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:59,237 This is wonderful. 351 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:03,074 Did you know the term "dive bar" originated 352 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:07,161 because many establishments were below street level, 353 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:11,291 and patrons had to essentially dive down to enter them. 354 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,959 Didn't know that. 355 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,793 Well, now you do. 356 00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,045 BARTENDER: Hey, George. 357 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:17,380 Who's your friend? Hey, Nate. 358 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,591 This is John Sturgis. 359 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,718 He's a scientist. 360 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,010 Pleased to make 361 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,220 your acquaintance, Nate. 362 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,555 What can I get you? 363 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,308 Um, do you have sarsaparilla? 364 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,560 Two beers. We'll take two beers. 365 00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,772 I must admit, after the breakup, 366 00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:36,357 I was worried, but now that Dr. Sturgis and Dad are friends, 367 00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:37,942 we'll be seeing even more of him. 368 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,653 How do we see less of him? 369 00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:41,237 That is not nice. 370 00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:42,989 Sorry, but I'm on Meemaw's side. 371 00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:45,241 She got me a two-piece bathing suit. 372 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:46,534 SHELDON: I didn't realize 373 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,119 we were expected to take sides. 374 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,704 No one needs to take sides. 375 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,331 When Heather M.'s parents got divorced, 376 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,957 she said it was like picking sides, 377 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,501 but you get twice the presents. 378 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:55,752 This isn't a divorce. 379 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,044 And I'm sure Meemaw 380 00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,505 and Dr. Sturgis will still be friends. 381 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,340 Heather M.'s parents aren't friends. 382 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,175 But now she's got Barbie's DreamHouse 383 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:04,469 and the pink Corvette. 384 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,639 You heard me. 385 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,558 Mmm. Oh, thank you. 386 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,477 That looks amazing. I love ice cream. 387 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,061 Did you know 388 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,897 that they used to use the anal glands of beavers 389 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:18,692 to make it taste like vanilla? 390 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,860 No. Where'd you hear that? 391 00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,237 I understand it's difficult 392 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,157 to, uh, milk the little sacs. 393 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:30,370 It's just something I picked up along the way. 394 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:31,830 You okay? 395 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,289 Yeah. 396 00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,792 Let's eat pie. 397 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,084 And maybe not the ice cream. 398 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,003 (chuckles) 399 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,255 Can you believe 400 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,466 Connie was my first girlfriend? 401 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,259 Really? 402 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,928 And probably my last. 403 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,014 Come on, don't talk like that. 404 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,641 No, it's true. 405 00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,184 She may not realize it, 406 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,770 but this is all for the best. 407 00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,398 I'm damaged goods. 408 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,233 No, you're not. 409 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:03,695 It had just been so long since I'd had an episode. 410 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,572 I thought I was okay. 411 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:08,324 (laughs): But, clearly, I'm not, 412 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:11,536 and, uh, who knows if it'll happen again. 413 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:15,206 And, uh, I just can't take the risk 414 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,083 of putting Connie through that. 415 00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:19,210 Hey, she's got problems, too. 416 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,422 I've seen her take a wine cooler out of the trash and finish it. 417 00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:23,590 (laughs) 418 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,884 I'm not joking. Well, 419 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,761 thank you for listening. 420 00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,763 My pleasure. 421 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:32,973 And if you want to talk about your relationship with Mary, 422 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,476 I'm all ears. 423 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:39,313 Intimacy issues, communication difficulties, 424 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,023 problems in the bedroom... 425 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,400 Hey! Pool table's open. 426 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,736 Ah! Wonderful! 427 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,281 But if you did get a divorce, 428 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,241 how many American Girl dolls could I get? 429 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,159 Your father and I aren't getting a divorce. 430 00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,078 But more than one, right? 431 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,373 Are there any questions that aren't about divorce? 432 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,584 Nope. Sheldon? 433 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:02,462 Is it difficult to see your mother 434 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,756 go out with men who aren't your father? 435 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,382 Wow. 436 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,760 That's a big one. 437 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,720 Um... 438 00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:13,973 I suppose it took some getting used to, 439 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:17,101 but she's a grown-up, 440 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,603 and even though Pop-Pop passed away, 441 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,772 she deserves to be happy. 442 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,649 Just so you know, 443 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,693 I'd be happy with one American Girl doll. 444 00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,278 And we're done. 445 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,738 Thank you so much, Ira. 446 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:31,115 (chuckles) I really needed this. 447 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,617 You're welcome. 448 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:33,868 We should do it again. 449 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:35,578 What's your Friday night look like? 450 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,163 Oh, no, Friday's no good 451 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:38,832 'cause we're doing inventory at the store. 452 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:41,334 Oh, okay. Well, how about the weekend? 453 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:44,295 No, no, no, that's not good for me, either. 454 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,465 Are you blowing me off? 455 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,467 Is it that obvious? 456 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,719 Well, I don't understand why. 457 00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,805 I mean, I-I thought we had a nice time. 458 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,055 Oh, we did. 459 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,724 But you're still hung up on John, 460 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,601 and I don't want to have my heart broken again, 461 00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:01,896 so I'm gonna respectfully pass. 462 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,483 Unbelievable. 463 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,653 I know. It turns out I do have a shred of dignity. 464 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,822 (chuckles) I'm as surprised as you are. 465 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,993 (chuckles): I'm not having a good week. 466 00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:16,577 Have you played much pool? 467 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:19,580 Oh, in my undergraduate days, all the time. 468 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:22,124 It's just physics and geometry. 469 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,584 Is that so? 470 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,003 I calculate the angles 471 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:26,379 in my head. 472 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:28,047 Sometimes in radians, 473 00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,757 sometimes in degrees, 474 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:32,552 depending on my level of whimsy. 475 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,429 I'm a radians man myself. 476 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:36,848 That's a joke? 477 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,057 Supposed to be. 478 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,350 (laughs) 479 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,477 Oh, life is funny. 480 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:44,814 A week ago, I was in a mental institution, 481 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:47,441 and now I'm laughing it up 482 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:48,651 in a dive bar. 483 00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:50,653 Not just any dive bar. 484 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,488 One where everyone knows me. 485 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:56,325 And they are lucky that they do. 486 00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,913 Excuse me! 487 00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,247 Everyone! 488 00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:04,709 Oh, boy. I would like to propose a toast 489 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,293 to George Cooper. 490 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:07,962 I don't mind telling you 491 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:11,298 I'm going through a bit of a rough patch, 492 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,342 and this man went 493 00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:16,054 out of his way to take me here 494 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,639 and listen to my woes. 495 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,601 And George and I don't even know each other that well. 496 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,477 You heard it. Y'all heard it. 497 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,606 But I just broke up with a woman. 498 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,734 A beautiful, passionate woman. 499 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,527 Adventurous. 500 00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,404 Sensual. 501 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,031 Apparently, 502 00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:38,701 you're never too old for heartache. 503 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:40,411 But tonight, 504 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,204 I found solace 505 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:45,666 in the bosom of male friendship. 506 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,922 To George Cooper. 507 00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,884 Drinks are on me! 508 00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:57,053 ALL: To George Cooper! 509 00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:58,930 (cheering and whooping) 510 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,484 (snoring) 511 00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:17,740 What happened? 512 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,366 Oh, I had a few beers. 513 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,535 He had one. 514 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,830 Seriously? 515 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,873 We can't get a dog, and this guy's still here? 516 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,500 (snoring continues) and this guy's still here?