1 00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:03,420 Here we go. ADULT SHELDON: For many kids, 2 00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:05,255 Christmas morning was the most exciting day of the year. 3 00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,967 That's only because most kids don't know the joy 4 00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:11,720 of getting their college midterms back. 5 00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:14,849 It also didn't hurt that Dr. Sturgis looked like an elf. 6 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:16,350 ("Deck the Halls" playing) 7 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,727 Nice work, Sheldon. 8 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,604 Now, 9 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:24,149 you'll notice that your grades are lower than expected. 10 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,695 That's because Sheldon did so well, 11 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,321 he broke the curve, 12 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:32,908 turning your A's and B's into B's and C's. 13 00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:38,497 They don't seem happy about it. 14 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:41,082 Maybe you can give them candy. 15 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,543 (bells jingling) 16 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,504 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 17 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,298 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 18 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,343 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 19 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,971 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 20 00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:57,725 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 21 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:03,981 DALE: Okay. This is where I spend all my time, 22 00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:07,108 yet somehow my ex-wife owns half of it. 23 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,904 Mm, not bitter at all. Good for you. 24 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:12,990 We got baseball over here and got football right there 25 00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:15,116 and then hunting and fishing in the back. 26 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,660 Oh, yeah. 27 00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:18,871 And this hockey puck has been here 28 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,873 since Jimmy Carter was president. 29 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,917 You'd think a sport with a bunch of white boys 30 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:26,587 beating each other up would be more popular in Texas. 31 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,756 (chuckles) So, you want to head out? 32 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,760 Oh, my grandson's been wanting some weights. 33 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,428 Sheldon? 34 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,514 Hell, can't he just lift a soup can or something? 35 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:40,141 The other grandson. The pretty one with the hair. 36 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,352 Ah. All right. Well, send him by. 37 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,271 We'll give him the family and friends discount. 38 00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,065 How big a discount? 39 00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:49,944 Well, uh, depends on, uh, how much fun we have tonight. 40 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:53,113 Are you putting a price on my affections? 41 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:54,949 Yeah, kinda. 42 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,408 You're gonna regret it. 43 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,035 I'm really fun. 44 00:01:58,077 --> 00:02:00,829 (chuckling) 45 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,331 CRUSHER: ...fever down, try to let the body heal itself. 46 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:06,001 PICARD: Keep me advised. Picard out. (phone rings) 47 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,670 Captain, the neutrino... 48 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,298 Cooper residence. 49 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,675 Hello, Sheldon. Dr. Sturgis. 50 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,677 I'd love to talk to you, but I'm right in the middle 51 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,721 of Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a good one. 52 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,307 Geordi goes missing, but Wesley Crusher has a plan 53 00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:21,976 to use neutrinos to locate him, 54 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,478 since they'd be visible to Geordi's visor. 55 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,814 I was actually calling to speak to your father. 56 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:30,275 But I'm glad you're having fun with your friends. 57 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,819 Hang on. I'll go get him. 58 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,655 Dad! Phone call! 59 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,907 ADULT SHELDON: Even though Dr. Sturgis was confused, 60 00:02:36,949 --> 00:02:40,327 one day, Wesley Crusher really would be my friend. 61 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,037 Neat, huh? 62 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:42,997 (grunts) 63 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,539 Hey, John. 64 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,834 George. John Sturgis here. 65 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,335 That's why I said "Hey, John." 66 00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:49,711 Great. 67 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,212 I was wondering if we could 68 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,757 go out for a beer and talk. 69 00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:55,843 Oh. Well, aren't we talking right now? 70 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,970 Yes, but we had so much fun last time, 71 00:02:58,012 --> 00:02:59,763 I thought we could do it again. 72 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,807 Gee, John, last time, you got drunk 73 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,892 and threw up in my glove compartment. 74 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,602 Did I? (laughs) 75 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:08,396 Well, while I don't remember any of that happening, 76 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,316 I promise to be on my best behavior. 77 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,152 And the drinks are on me. 78 00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:14,820 Na zdrowie! 79 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:18,448 That's, uh, "to our health" in Russian. 80 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:21,952 (quietly): This is not the place to talk Russian. 81 00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:24,329 So, what's up? 82 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:27,958 Well, Sheldon has been doing extraordinarily well 83 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,044 in his college physics class. 84 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,337 I know. He made me put his test up on the fridge, 85 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:35,049 next to Missy's drawing of her hand as a turkey. 86 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:39,720 So, uh, the university has taken notice of Sheldon's talents, 87 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:43,015 and they would very much like him 88 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:45,726 to enroll full-time. 89 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,562 (chuckles) Yeah, we've been down this road, John. 90 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,438 Sheldon's only ten. 91 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,650 Mary and I both have jobs. We just can't make it work. 92 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,986 Well, that's why they asked me to speak to you. 93 00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,738 They're looking to sweeten the pot. 94 00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:00,032 That's a gambling metaphor. 95 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,951 A lesser-known version is "sweeten the kitty." 96 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,662 I assume the difference is regional, 97 00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,873 but I'm no etymologist. 98 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:10,375 This beer is yummy. Mmm! 99 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,836 So, what are they offering, John? 100 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,880 They thought it would be easier on the family 101 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,591 if you were employed at the university. 102 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,760 Really? Yes, that way, 103 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,302 you could drive Sheldon 104 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:24,014 and keep an eye on him while he's there. 105 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,306 But I'm a football coach. 106 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,767 Does the school even have a team? 107 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:27,768 Oh, yes, they do. 108 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,269 They-they don't win much, 109 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:32,731 but they lead the league in injuries. 110 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:36,026 Well, guess that's a thing. 111 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,652 Okay. 112 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:41,198 Anyway, I believe they're willing to, uh, 113 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:45,619 exceed your current salary by a substantial amount. 114 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,162 Is that so? 115 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,580 Yes. 116 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,707 They thought it would incentivize you. 117 00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,334 Well, John, they're not wrong. 118 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:56,046 Excellent! (chuckles) 119 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,257 (quietly): Na zdrowie. 120 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,384 What the hell. (quietly): Na zdrowie. 121 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,012 How was Dr. Sturgis? 122 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,140 He's fine. 123 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,390 What did you two talk about? 124 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,559 I don't know. S-Stuff. 125 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:10,936 Science stuff? 126 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,021 No. Just regular stuff. 127 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:16,441 Ooh, I bet he talked about me. What did he say about me? 128 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,152 Sheldon, everything isn't about you. 129 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,987 Okay? Go to your room. 130 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,696 Yes, sir. 131 00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,365 What'd y'all talk about? 132 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,617 Sheldon. 133 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,828 Oh. 134 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,746 (sighs) 135 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:32,291 The university wants to offer me a coaching job 136 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,210 if it'll help to get Sheldon to go there full-time. 137 00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:36,878 Oh. 138 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,421 We talked about this. 139 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,966 College might be too much for him. I know. 140 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,176 That's why I'd be there, you know, 141 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,510 to help him over the rough spots. 142 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,095 I don't know, George. 143 00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,639 Can't hurt to see what the offer is. 144 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,766 There are more important things than money. 145 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,560 That's cute. You should knit that on a pillow. 146 00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:56,940 Maybe I'll push that pillow over your face. 147 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,281 Scuse me. You Mr. Ballard? 148 00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:05,740 Yeah, that'd be me. 149 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,451 I'm Georgie, Connie Tucker's grandson. 150 00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:11,038 Oh, yeah. The hair. Very pretty. 151 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,665 Hang on a second. I got to deal with this guy, okay? 152 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,458 Take your time. So, 153 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,252 here you go. Here's the rod you were asking about. 154 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:18,670 Now, that's a good choice. 155 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,005 Very solid. Mm. Mm. 156 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,090 And then I just brought this one along 157 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,592 to show you, just in case, later, you know, 158 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,427 you get serious about fishing. 159 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,638 Well... I'm pretty serious. 160 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,475 Yeah. You know, I-I had that feeling. 161 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,894 Wh-What's your name? 162 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,270 Jim. Jim. 163 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:37,689 Well, Jim, this rod is a little pricey. 164 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,482 It's double the cost of that one, 165 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:40,734 but it's worth every penny. 166 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,736 And, uh, it's the rod I use. 167 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,863 Well, then that's the one I want. 168 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,240 Well, that's a good choice. 169 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,949 There you go. 170 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,826 Now, with a rod like this, you want to use live bait, 171 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,410 and we don't carry that here. 172 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:55,374 But down the street is Ed's Bait and Tackle Shop. 173 00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:58,126 And if you tell him Dale sent you, he'll take care of you. 174 00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,294 I appreciate that. 175 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,588 So, take her over there to Bernice, 176 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:04,507 and she'll ring you up. Thanks. 177 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,176 DALE: Hey. 178 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,677 And-and bring me back some catfish. 179 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,470 JIM: You bet. 180 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,223 Yeah. You're a really good salesman. 181 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:13,141 Well, yeah. Not only that, 182 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,852 I get a kickback on everybody I send down to Ed's. 183 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,229 You're awesome. 184 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,189 I know. 185 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,151 Ooh. 35 cents off Goober. 186 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,403 What's Goober? 187 00:07:24,443 --> 00:07:26,071 Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. 188 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,282 Think about how much time we'd save. 189 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,408 GEORGE JR.: Hey. 190 00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:30,491 Dale give you a good price 191 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,993 on those weights? 192 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,661 Better. He gave me a job. 193 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,415 Damn. He did have fun last night. (chuckles) 194 00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:38,166 What kind of job? Salesman. 195 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,668 (gasps) Well, congratulations. 196 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,963 I'm gonna learn a lot from him. He's real good at getting people 197 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,798 to spend money on stuff they don't need. 198 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:48,135 Well, I don't know if I like the sound of that. 199 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:50,929 You know what I like the sound of? Ka-ching. 200 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,019 (chuckles) Well, thank you. 201 00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,688 That's a very generous offer. 202 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,690 Let me discuss it with my family, 203 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,734 and I'll get back to you. 204 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:07,279 Bye. 205 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,239 What was that about? 206 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,032 Are you my family? 207 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,617 I don't know. 208 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,245 I like to think of myself as your work wife. 209 00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:21,084 So, that's why I wanted to give you a heads-up. 210 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,295 I got to tell you, George, this is a real blow. 211 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:26,298 Appreciate it. But, uh, yeah, you'll find someone. 212 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,883 There's a lot of good coaches out there. 213 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,011 Not you. Sheldon. 214 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,929 Sheldon? 215 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,807 I thought everyone would be thrilled for him to leave. 216 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,184 (chuckles) Don't get me wrong, 217 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,894 your kid is a royal pain in the ass. 218 00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,605 I have a problem with this permission slip. 219 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,065 You didn't cut them in half evenly. 220 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:46,443 Mine has two holes, and Derek here just has one. 221 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:47,610 Then trade. 222 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:48,695 Then Derek will have two holes, 223 00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,197 and mine will have one. 224 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,699 You're not going to the water park anyway! 225 00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:56,077 However, his state test scores are so extraordinary, 226 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,663 the school actually gets more funding because of it. 227 00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,998 You serious? 228 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,208 Serious as the fire alarms, 229 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,459 which are now functional. 230 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,629 And always were, if anyone asks. 231 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,509 (sighs) I don't know what to tell you, Tom. 232 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,512 (stammers) They're offering me a pretty nice raise. 233 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,014 Well, I can't afford to lose Sheldon, 234 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,434 so what's it gonna take to keep y'all here, George? 235 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,686 (clears throat) 236 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,646 Thank you. 237 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:26,649 I will discuss it with my family and get back to you. 238 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:27,859 Good. 239 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,452 Bit of a kerfuffle at the church today. 240 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,913 Pastor Jeff promised Patricia Richards 241 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,956 she could sing "How Great Thou Art" on Sunday, 242 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,125 but I had already printed in the bulletin 243 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,627 that Karen Baker was gonna sing it. 244 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,963 They agreed to a duet, but it was 245 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,965 touch and go. 246 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,633 Mm. What's a kerfuffle? 247 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,010 Not that. 248 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,387 Hey. 249 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,389 Hey. How was your first day at work? 250 00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:58,390 Amazing. 251 00:09:58,432 --> 00:09:59,349 I made $38 252 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:00,767 on commissions alone. 253 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:02,477 Well, good for you. 254 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,895 What's for dinner? 255 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,313 Meat loaf. 256 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,815 Oh. I think I'm gonna go out to eat. 257 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,025 No, you are not. 258 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,735 We're having dinner as a family. 259 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,196 Yeah, but I got money now and I can do what I want. 260 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,740 And what I want is a chimichanga at Chi-Chi's. 261 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,367 I want a chimichanga from Chi-Chi's. 262 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,160 They do have a good margarita. 263 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,496 You are eating here. So are you. 264 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,915 I don't care what you do. 265 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:24,999 Later. 266 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,918 Georgie Cooper. 267 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,003 Do not walk out of that door. 268 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:29,963 Georgie! 269 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,090 That's a kerfuffle. 270 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,842 Missy, let this be a lesson to you. 271 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,719 The love of money is the root of all evil. 272 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:37,971 GEORGE SR.: Hey! 273 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,806 You would not believe the wheelin' 274 00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:41,475 and dealin' I did today. 275 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,059 I'm playing the high school 276 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:45,395 and the university against each other. (laughs) 277 00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,230 Hey, what do you say we go out to dinner? 278 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,398 Chi-Chi's is good. 279 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,942 Ooh, chimichangas. 280 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,575 I've asked you all here because we got a situation. 281 00:10:58,617 --> 00:11:02,870 George Cooper's considering a job at a college and... 282 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,414 taking Sheldon with him. 283 00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:06,583 Yes! Is it far away? 284 00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,793 I hope it's far away. Maybe it's overseas. 285 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,337 Ooh, like Fiji. PETERSEN: Hold your horses. 286 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,297 If Sheldon walks out that door, 287 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,508 our test scores drop hard. 288 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:16,926 That affects funding, which affects your salaries. 289 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:20,013 Ugh. Well, how can we help? 290 00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,723 Y'all need to make George and Sheldon so happy here 291 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,767 they want to stay. 292 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,144 Oh, come on. 293 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,728 Isn't there anything else we can do? 294 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,606 Yeah, Mr. Givens. 295 00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:31,732 You could do a better job at teaching the other students 296 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:35,778 so we don't rely on one boy to pull up everyone's grades. 297 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,741 Fine. We'll be nice to Sheldon. 298 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,035 (sighs) 299 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:45,079 ♪ I've been working for the big man ♪ 300 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,832 ♪ All the livelong day ♪ 301 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,377 ♪ I've been working for the big man ♪ 302 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,213 ♪ Just to wash my sins away. ♪ (knocking) 303 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,964 Hey, Mary. What's up? 304 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,300 Can I speak with you about a spiritual matter? 305 00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:58,801 My sweet spot. Sit. 306 00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:01,137 What's the buzz? 307 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:02,263 Tell me, what's a-happenin'? 308 00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:03,473 (chuckles) 309 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:05,684 Jesus Christ Superstar. 310 00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:06,851 It's a great show. 311 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,604 Well, um... 312 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:13,024 I'm concerned George and Georgie 313 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,276 might be succumbing to the sin of greed. 314 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,819 Ooh, that's a biggie. 315 00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,946 Ever since Georgie started making money, 316 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,907 he's been very disrespectful. 317 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:24,077 Meanwhile, my husband's so busy trying to land a better job, 318 00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,538 he doesn't even care how it might affect Sheldon. 319 00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:28,081 I'm sorry to hear that. 320 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,833 In Luke 12:15, Jesus says, "Watch out. 321 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,587 "Be on your guard against all kinds of greed. 322 00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:36,297 Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." 323 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,341 I know, but it seems like the whole world 324 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,468 is sending the opposite message. 325 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,303 Don't I know it. Just the other day, 326 00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,931 I was at the mall, and a toaster oven caught my eye. 327 00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:47,183 Next thing you know, I was in line to buy it, 328 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,310 and I realized I have a toaster 329 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:52,021 and I have an oven. What am I doing? 330 00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:54,190 Turns out Satan doesn't just hide out 331 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,774 in honky-tonks and casinos. 332 00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,944 Sometimes he's in the appliance section of Sears. 333 00:12:57,985 --> 00:13:02,073 Well, if it's everywhere, how can we fight it? 334 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,033 We may not be able to control the world, 335 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,620 but we can control our homes. 336 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:08,580 It's up to us to create an environment 337 00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,789 where the sin of greed can find no purchase. 338 00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:12,542 Is that what you've done in your home? 339 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,919 Well, I do make my toast vertically, 340 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,588 two slices at a time. 341 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:19,424 Take that, Satan. (chuckles) 342 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,426 ♪ ♪ 343 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:26,514 Then Geordi goes missing, but Wesley Crusher 344 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,975 has a plan to use neutrinos to locate him, 345 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:31,436 since they'd be visible to Geordi's visor. 346 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,437 Is that so? 347 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,688 It is. 348 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:34,731 I recorded the episode. 349 00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,190 I'll show it to you tonight. 350 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,442 That's okay. 351 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,026 You did such a good job explaining it, 352 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,236 I feel like I saw it. 353 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,571 You're still seeing it. 354 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,574 What's this? 355 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,286 "Reserved for Coach Cooper." 356 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,121 (chuckles) 357 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,414 Would you look at that. They gave me 358 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,957 a parking spot right by the door. 359 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,375 Why? 360 00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,043 I guess they're starting to appreciate 361 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,836 my talents around here. 362 00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,547 Why? 363 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,257 ("Money (That's What I Want)" by Barrett Strong playing) 364 00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:02,634 Oh! There's my man. 365 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,469 Where? 366 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:05,720 You, silly. 367 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,388 I'm neither a man nor silly, 368 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,723 but all right. 369 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:11,267 (laughs) You're so funny, Sheldon. 370 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,811 Oh, well, that I am. 371 00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:16,815 These are the flyers for the canned food drive. 372 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,025 And, Sheldon, you'll be happy to know, 373 00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:20,819 I made sure they were cut perfectly, 374 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,280 so that each one has exactly one and a half holes. 375 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:26,407 But mine has half a hole on the top, 376 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:29,452 and Derek's here has half a hole on the bottom. 377 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,998 ♪ The best things in life are free ♪ 378 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,292 Ooh. (chuckles) What do we have here? 379 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,586 ♪ But you can give them to the birds and bees ♪ 380 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,087 Ooh. ♪ I need money ♪ 381 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,382 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 382 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:43,633 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 383 00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,510 ♪ That's what I want... ♪ 384 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,469 (sighs) 385 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,638 (chuckling) 386 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,724 Hey, how come you get to park by the door? 387 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:54,602 Don't bother me, Wayne. I'm sitting. 388 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,354 And you got a new chair, too? 389 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,189 (laughing) 390 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,316 ♪ But your love don't pay my bills... ♪ 391 00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,819 Are we going to watch an educational film? 392 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,904 We're gonna watch Star Trek. 393 00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:08,199 Star Trek in school? Wowie Zowie. 394 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:11,536 ♪ That's what I want ♪ ♪ That's what I want... ♪ 395 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,579 What's here? 396 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,330 ♪ That's what I want... ♪ 397 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:17,124 Ooh, a golden whistle. 398 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,419 What the hell is going on? 399 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,170 (whistle blows) 400 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,256 You wanted to see me? 401 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,966 When don't I want to see you, Sheldon? Come in. 402 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:29,387 I have something I'd like to give you. 403 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,516 This is a key to the faculty restroom. 404 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,268 No students allowed. 405 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,853 One person at a time. 406 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,563 And unlike the other restrooms, 407 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,649 this one gets cleaned every night. 408 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,693 ♪ But what it don't get, I can't use... ♪ 409 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:44,819 Thank you. 410 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,487 (chuckles) No, Sheldon. 411 00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:47,739 Thank you. 412 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,323 You're welcome. 413 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,325 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 414 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:54,287 ♪ That's what I want ♪ ♪ That's what I want... ♪ 415 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,954 It's all yours. 416 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:59,709 ♪ That's what I want ♪ ♪ Gimme money... ♪ 417 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,088 (TV playing quietly) 418 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:08,134 I think this show is teaching you bad lessons. 419 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:10,177 Don't worry. I'm a slow learner. 420 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,012 FEMALE VOICE (over TV): Fascinating. 421 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,518 Is that Goober? Where did you get that? 422 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,896 Georgie got it for me. He's rich now. 423 00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:21,481 That is it! 424 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,358 I am taking this house back from the devil. 425 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,612 Hey. 426 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,196 ("It's a Sin" by Pet Shop Boys playing) 427 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,615 ADULT SHELDON: I've been accused 428 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,992 of overreacting from time to time. 429 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:36,788 But perhaps it's hereditary, because look at my mommy go. 430 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,501 ♪ It's a sin ♪ 431 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:45,045 ♪ It's a sin ♪ 432 00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,550 ♪ Everything I've ever done ♪ 433 00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,260 ♪ Everything I ever do ♪ 434 00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:53,513 ♪ Every place I've ever been ♪ 435 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:56,056 ♪ Everywhere I'm going to ♪ 436 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:57,892 ♪ It's a sin ♪ 437 00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,438 ♪ It's a sin ♪ 438 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,233 ♪ It's a, it's a ♪ 439 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,902 Aw. ♪ It's a sin. ♪ 440 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,320 GEORGE SR.: What happened to all our stuff? 441 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,990 Mom went nuts and took everything away. 442 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,826 How am I supposed to watch Professor Proton? 443 00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:17,036 All my music and magazines are gone. 444 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:19,079 Where is your mother? 445 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,500 You want to explain yourself? 446 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,711 (sighs) 447 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,630 I am taking our house back from the forces of evil. 448 00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,173 What's evil about Black Sabbath? 449 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,591 You're not helping. 450 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,844 Greed has entered into your hearts, 451 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,178 especially you two. 452 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,722 It has not. 453 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,097 Is that a gold whistle? 454 00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,474 Huh? No. 455 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:41,019 It's... it's a gift. 456 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,102 Now, where's our stuff? 457 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,229 We want it back. 458 00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,355 I'm not telling. 459 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,357 Mary, don't make me ask again. 460 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,984 Or what? 461 00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,528 What? 462 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,113 Your daughter lost her mind and we want to watch TV. 463 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,366 But... Uh, Dale's coming over. 464 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,118 Great. Love that guy. 465 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:03,332 Okay, we got a problem. 466 00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,043 I don't know what kind of 467 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,794 religious gobbledygook you're going through, 468 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,756 but it is starting to affect me. 469 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,675 Your hands aren't clean in this. I beg your pardon. 470 00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:15,386 Your new friend Dale is encouraging Georgie 471 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,930 to be obsessed with money. 472 00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:18,305 Your husband's no good at it. 473 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,849 You ought to be happy your son is. 474 00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,935 George is no prize either. 475 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,811 Not worrying about what's right for Sheldon. 476 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,773 Well, what do you think is right for him? 477 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,357 Honestly? 478 00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,443 (sighs) I don't know. 479 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:33,029 I know that he's bored in high school, 480 00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:35,531 but he's just so young for college. 481 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,241 Well, it sounds like they're trying 482 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,118 to set George up there for him. 483 00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:41,120 I know. 484 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,539 (sighs) 485 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:45,458 Maybe it's me. 486 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:49,295 Maybe I'm not ready for my baby to grow up. 487 00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:52,172 No mother ever is. 488 00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,010 (sighs) 489 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,344 (sighs) 490 00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,680 I just want to keep my family safe. 491 00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:01,515 I know. 492 00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,768 But at some point, you got to let them go. 493 00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,312 And then one day, if you're lucky, 494 00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:08,064 they'll move across the street from you 495 00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,108 and absolutely ruin your life. 496 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:16,155 Seriously, get those people out of my house. Okay. 497 00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,032 ADULT SHELDON: Eventually, my mother relented 498 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:21,119 and returned our things with a few minor adjustments. 499 00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:22,120 (music playing over TV) 500 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,746 What's The Moosewood Gang? 501 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:27,875 They solve mysteries while they learn about God. 502 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,460 Great. 503 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,088 ADULT SHELDON: Georgie got his music back. 504 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,173 ♪ Jesus Christ ♪ 505 00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:36,634 ♪ Superstar... ♪ 506 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,595 What the hell is this? 507 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:40,972 ADULT SHELDON: And as for college, 508 00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,473 my mother and father discussed it 509 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,934 and decided that ten was too young. 510 00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:48,729 So I didn't start till the ripe old age of 11. 511 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:51,315 In the meantime... (toilet flushes) 512 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:56,278 ...I had the key to one sweet bathroom. 513 00:19:56,320 --> 00:20:00,449 ♪ Superstar. ♪ 514 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,210 And don't forget about our layaway options. 515 00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:13,880 ♪ ♪ 516 00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:16,883 Lord, give me strength. 517 00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,106 I'm sorry, God. I'm weak. layaway options.