1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,003
JEFF:
The Bible says a lot about love.

2
00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:05,213
"Love thy neighbor."

3
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:07,633
"For God so loved the world."

4
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:11,595
In First Corinthians, it says,
"Love is patient, love is kind."

5
00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:15,975
But what does it mean
to truly love someone?

6
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,559
You see, Jesus showed us...

7
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,520
(quietly):
You see that?

8
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:21,480
(quietly):
No. But keep talking.

9
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,815
Why?

10
00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,483
'Cause I'm trying
to unwrap a candy,

11
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,401
and I don't want
anybody to hear.

12
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,988
How come she gets candy?
I want candy.

13
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,489
How come you're
not shushing them?

14
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,783
Shh! Shh.

15
00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:35,285
JEFF:
Sometimes love is about

16
00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:37,371
the little things. A smile.

17
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,206
Asking about their day.

18
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,791
Writing an encouraging note.

19
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,711
(chuckles softly)

20
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:47,088
See? He's talking about Robin.

21
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,674
Who is Robin?

22
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,843
Pastor Jeff's girlfriend.

23
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:53,512
Mom set them up,
and now she thinks she's cool.

24
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,139
Shh. But I did set them up.

25
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,766
Cool.
JEFF:
So, let's see

26
00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:59,518
what Jesus has
to say about that.

27
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,688
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

28
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,482
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

29
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:07,985
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

30
00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,779
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

31
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:14,909
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

32
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,497
Thanks for coming.
Pastor Jeff,

33
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,624
do chickens go to heaven?

34
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:26,420
Well, the Bible doesn't say much
about the souls of animals,

35
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:30,215
but I like to believe that God
loves all his creatures. Why?

36
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,342
My dad wants to eat Matilda.

37
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,845
It's not as bad as it sounds.

38
00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,430
She stopped laying eggs,

39
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,348
so it's off with her head
and into the fryer.

40
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:42,352
Well, I will pray
for her little chicken soul.

41
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:45,230
(chuckles)
Just pray she's juicy.

42
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,315
Hello, Coopers. Nice to see you,

43
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:50,235
as always.
Lovely sermon today.

44
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,779
I wouldn't know. I couldn't hear

45
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,488
over all the candy wrappers
and gossip.

46
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,449
That's enough. Move along.
Actually,

47
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,784
Mary, can I speak to you
for a sec?

48
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,953
Sure. Um, I'll be right there.

49
00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:01,413
Yeah, make it quick. I
don't want to miss kickoff.

50
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,415
(groans)
Church and football?

51
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,125
At least 60 Minutes
is on tonight.

52
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,377
Everything okay?

53
00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:08,796
Everything's wonderful.

54
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,423
We're trying to keep
this quiet, but...

55
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,258
We have decided to get married.

56
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,052
Oh, my gosh!
(laughs)

57
00:02:15,094 --> 00:02:16,887
(whispers):
Oh, my gosh.

58
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:18,889
And we were hoping that you
could help us plan the wedding.

59
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,891
Oh, my gosh!
(laughs)

60
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,684
I did it again. I'm sorry.

61
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,228
Um, I would be honored.

62
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:28,065
Oh.
Just something
small and simple.

63
00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:30,651
So, when were you thinking?
Uh, spring, summer?

64
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:31,610
Next Sunday.

65
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:32,778
Uh, oh.

66
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,237
That is soon.

67
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,073
Uh, you're not...?

68
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,241
No.

69
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,409
Because we haven't, you know...

70
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,744
But we would like to.

71
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,203
But we can't 'cause
I'm a pastor.

72
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,914
But we can
once we're married.

73
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:44,832
So Sunday it is.

74
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:48,002
Okay.
Or maybe Saturday.

75
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:51,088
Ooh, Saturday. Even better.

76
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:53,214
I cannot wait.

77
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,009
Me, either.

78
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,302
Still here.

79
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,261
Hmm.

80
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,973
(all laughing)

81
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:05,184
(football playing on TV,
door closes)

82
00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:07,228
George,

83
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,857
you will not believe
what I get to do.

84
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,483
What's that?

85
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,861
Plan Pastor Jeff's wedding.

86
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,236
Oh, isn't that nice.

87
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,156
Oh, it's gonna be
a lot of work.

88
00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:19,116
They want this done
by next weekend.

89
00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:20,784
What, he knock her up?

90
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:22,327
(chuckles)
Been there.

91
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:25,413
No. He is a man of God.

92
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,457
He cannot have
a physical relationship

93
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:29,084
outside holy matrimony.

94
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,378
Oh, so that's the rush.
(chuckles)

95
00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:33,755
Well, yes,

96
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:36,758
but they also seem
very much in love.

97
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,886
Love is great.

98
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:40,220
(sighs)

99
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:42,472
Anyway, I am gonna
be extra busy,

100
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,558
so I'm gonna need you
to pick up the slack

101
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,267
around here.
You know?

102
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:48,103
The kids.

103
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,563
Making meals.

104
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,148
Sounds good.

105
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:52,440
Wait, what?

106
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,651
I need you to help out.

107
00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,863
(mutes TV)

108
00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,407
So, Pastor Jeff wants to get
lucky, and I pay the price?

109
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:03,202
I am asking you to take
care of your children.

110
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,204
And I'm asking you,
why can't your mother do it?

111
00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:07,081
George.

112
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,957
Fine.

113
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,834
ANNOUNCER: That has to be
the play of the game,

114
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,836
maybe even the season!

115
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,129
(groans)

116
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,965
And I can't believe
what I just saw.

117
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,341
(clucking)

118
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,427
Your dad can't
eat Matilda.

119
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,221
Sure, he can.
He eats everything.

120
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,181
Billy, you've raised her
from a chick.

121
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:25,557
She's like your child.

122
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,768
You wouldn't let somebody
eat your child.

123
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,897
Does my child
taste like chicken?

124
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,148
Billy!

125
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,150
Missy!

126
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,652
(sighs, chicken clucks)

127
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,196
ADULT SHELDON:
Many inventions

128
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:40,822
changed people's lives
for the better:

129
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,991
the light bulb,
the polio vaccine,

130
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,910
and one that doesn't get
enough credit,

131
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:48,496
the home video cassette
recorder.

132
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,999
It didn't help keep people
out of wheelchairs,

133
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,043
but it did keep me
from missing Star Trek.

134
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:56,922
PICARD:
Captain's log, stardate 44307.3.

135
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,632
I am preparing to leave
by shuttlecraft...

136
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,092
("I'm Always Here"
by Jimi Jamison playing)

137
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:02,052
♪ Some people stand ♪

138
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:05,847
♪ In the darkness,
afraid to step... ♪

139
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,350
♪ Don't you worry... ♪

140
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,936
No.

141
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:13,521
No.

142
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,899
♪ I'll be ready. ♪

143
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,111
Georgie!

144
00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,238
Georgie, why are there

145
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:24,241
bathing suit ladies
where Captain Picard should be?

146
00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:26,201
Georgie!

147
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,328
He's not home.
What's going on?

148
00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:31,123
Georgie taped over Star
Trek: The Next Generation.

149
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:34,209
So? Watch something else.
I don't want to watch
something else.

150
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:35,961
I want to watch Star Trek:
The Next Generation.

151
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,088
And I want to feel bad
for you, but I don't.

152
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,423
The television station's
in Houston.

153
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,676
Drive me there.
I'm sure they have a copy of it.

154
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,636
(chuckles):
I'm not driving to Houston.

155
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:48,431
Well, then, I should warn you,
I am very unhappy.

156
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,100
Okay.

157
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,060
In fact, I am peeved.

158
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,062
Okay.

159
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:58,233
I would slam this door
right now,

160
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:01,069
but it would startle me,
so just imagine I did.

161
00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:05,824
Okay.

162
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:09,077
I'm sorry Robin
couldn't be here.

163
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,996
She's working extra shifts
so she can take some time off

164
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:11,955
after the wedding.

165
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,581
For a honeymoon? How nice.

166
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,125
Where y'all going?

167
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,585
Oh, we don't really plan
on leaving the bedroom.

168
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:22,423
Well, um, we have
a lot to discuss.

169
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,801
Reception, flowers, cake...

170
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:27,888
Like I said, we're just looking
for something simple.

171
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,806
Got it. Nothing fancy.

172
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,683
Just... elegant.

173
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:35,896
Right, but a plain,
bare-bones elegance.

174
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,106
How many guests
were you thinking?

175
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,441
It doesn't have to be big.
I've been married before.

176
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:43,362
But Robin hasn't.
And you're our pastor.

177
00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:46,447
Your congregation is gonna want
to share in your special day.

178
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,742
Those bones
are sounding less bare.

179
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,369
Sorry.

180
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,162
Your small, elegant,

181
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:55,290
bare-bones, unforgettable,
simple, special day.

182
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,043
Now, let's talk centerpieces.

183
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,502
ADULT SHELDON:
None of my friends

184
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,004
had recorded the episode.

185
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:04,423
I called Tam.
I called Dr. Sturgis.

186
00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:07,177
Those were all my friends.

187
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,638
PICARD: Engage.
(Star Trek theme playing)

188
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,933
Fortunately,
having a modem granted me

189
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,851
access to an even better
kind of friend:

190
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,562
the kind you don't have to see
or talk to.

191
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,398
(chicken clucks)

192
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:27,864
(chicken clucks)

193
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,626
(clucking)

194
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,920
(screams)

195
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,462
(yelps)

196
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,137
(clucking)

197
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,973
Why would you bring that pecking
poop machine into our home?

198
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,267
To save her life.
What about my life?

199
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:57,560
She's not trying to kill you.
Oh, yeah?

200
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,354
Then why was there
hate in her eyes?

201
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,148
That's how everybody
looks at you.

202
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,732
(door closes)
GEORGE SR.:
I got lunch!

203
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:05,026
Dad, Missy put a
chicken in my room!

204
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,154
The Sparks were gonna
kill her and eat her!

205
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,156
The hell's going on?

206
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,616
How could you?

207
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,076
What?

208
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,833
(sighs)

209
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,835
I miss your mother.

210
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,632
Would you look
at these sugar flowers?

211
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,135
I'm too busy looking
at the price tag.

212
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,470
Judas Priest.

213
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:33,680
Oh, you can't skimp
on the cake.

214
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:35,890
It's the focal point
of the entire wedding.

215
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,851
How about this? We get
a bunch of Ding Dongs,

216
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:39,478
stack them in the
shape of a heart.

217
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,895
Everybody's happy.

218
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,981
You do not want your wife
to look back

219
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,525
at her wedding pictures
and see a pile of Ding Dongs.

220
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,235
I'm not sure she's gonna care.

221
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,029
She gonna care!

222
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,448
(exhales)

223
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:54,034
But there are more affordable
cakes here that we can look at.

224
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,953
Thank you.
Maybe they have
some stale ones in the back

225
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,164
that you can disappoint
your bride with.

226
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,833
(whimpers)

227
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,378
(exhales)

228
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:06,421
All right, here I am.

229
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:08,298
What's the emergency?

230
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,633
Sheldon's mad at Georgie 'cause
he taped over his space show,

231
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,177
but now he's hiding
in the garage

232
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,553
'cause Missy brought
home Billy's chicken.

233
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:14,971
And Missy's hiding
in the bathroom

234
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,681
'cause I brought
home fried chicken.

235
00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:18,517
Good luck.

236
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,352
Oh, come on, help me out!

237
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,062
What are you doing to help?

238
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,314
I called your ass over here.
Where's Mary?

239
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:26,400
At church planning
Pastor Jeff's wedding.

240
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,775
And she left you in charge?

241
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,569
Yeah.
Well, that was dumb.

242
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,446
Thank you.
Okay.

243
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,864
Let's split up.

244
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,991
You want live chicken
or dead chicken?

245
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,077
Hey.

246
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,328
Right in there.
Hi.

247
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,247
Hello.
Hi.

248
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,873
See ya.

249
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,963
I'll take the chicken problems.

250
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,048
Girl in bedroom?

251
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,675
(singsongy):
All yours.

252
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,679
(music playing quietly
over speakers)

253
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:01,601
Oh.

254
00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,395
(smacks lips)

255
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,401
Would you like to try it on?
Oh, no.

256
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,111
I'm not here for me.

257
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,362
Just helping a friend.

258
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,863
Oh, too bad.

259
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,782
That dress would be
stunning on you.

260
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:18,326
Oh, I would look
like a princess.

261
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,121
What do you think?

262
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,663
How handsome!

263
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,916
I feel like I'm in the presence
of James Bond.

264
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,085
Well, I don't have
a license to kill,

265
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,546
but I do have a license
to officiate funerals.

266
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:32,299
Should we pull
some dresses for Robin?

267
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,842
I suppose. How about that?

268
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,345
Oh, she'd hate that.
Keep looking.

269
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,475
Oh.

270
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:44,311
Come on, and bring that bucket
of chicken out of there.

271
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,853
MISSY:
No, we're not
eating it.

272
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,439
What if it was
Matilda's friend?

273
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,399
Honey, that one's from Kentucky.

274
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,859
They didn't know each other.

275
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,778
MEEMAW:
George.

276
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,363
Why are you not
in that bedroom?

277
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,533
Well, I'm just thinking
of what to say.

278
00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,909
They're teenagers.

279
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:02,203
If you wait any longer,
they'll be done.

280
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,205
I'm just gonna grab a beer.

281
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,458
George!

282
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,293
Georgie?

283
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:11,087
♪ Out on the streets,
that's where we'll meet... ♪

284
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,213
What?

285
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,590
Door stays open.

286
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:15,800
Why? We're just
listening to music.

287
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,718
My house, my rules.

288
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,513
And don't sit on the bed.

289
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,264
Where are we supposed to sit?

290
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,642
Just... not on the bed.

291
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,519
Whatever.

292
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,814
♪ That you would
end up winning... ♪

293
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,609
He's just mad 'cause
we're young and he's not.

294
00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:35,153
Done. I made 'em
sit on the floor.

295
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,323
Smart. Nobody ever
got pregnant on the floor.

296
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,910
Have you had the talk
with that boy?
Of course.

297
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,287
Really? What'd you say?

298
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:47,582
You know, the stuff...

299
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,877
you know, a father says when
he has a talk with his son.

300
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,754
Good Lord. Did you tell him
about protection?

301
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,756
Oh, come on, Connie.
Well, it's important.

302
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,259
What if he knocks that
poor girl up and ruins her life?

303
00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:00,512
Is that a swipe at me?
Well, it depends.

304
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:03,764
Did you knock up my daughter
and ruin her life?

305
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,642
Wait. I know the answer.

306
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:10,021
Hey, for your information,
Mary is very happy.

307
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,814
(crying)

308
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,861
Robin's gonna look
so beautiful in this.

309
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:20,365
Your wedding's gonna be perfect.

310
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,908
(crying)
Great.

311
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:24,202
Thank you.
She won't have to go

312
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:27,414
down to city hall wearing
the only thing that still fits

313
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,874
'cause she's trying to hide
the fact that she's pregnant.

314
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,335
Uh-huh.
(Mary inhales loudly)

315
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,796
She's gonna get the wedding
of her dreams.

316
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:36,715
(sobbing)

317
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:38,174
If she cries on the dress,

318
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,467
do I have to buy it?

319
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:42,470
(sobbing loudly)

320
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,847
You know it takes two people
to get pregnant, right?

321
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,307
I know that.
Does Georgie?

322
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,351
Probably. We
got cable now.

323
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,520
Dad?

324
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:51,770
What?

325
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:53,772
Is Matilda still
in my closet?

326
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,024
What?

327
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,109
That's a "yes."
(toilet flushes)

328
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,444
MISSY:
Aah!

329
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,654
The bathroom's flooding!

330
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,407
What happened?
I flushed a chicken leg,

331
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,951
and water started
going everywhere.

332
00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:07,036
Chickens were your job!

333
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:16,379
Maybe I'm being punished.
Maybe I'm a bad person.

334
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,425
That went in my mouth.

335
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:22,719
Stay back!

336
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:25,305
Calm down. We're
taking her home.

337
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,640
To be murdered.

338
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,683
Okay, have fun.

339
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,645
Can y'all keep it down?

340
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,563
I have a bone
to pick with you, sir.

341
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:36,857
What'd I do?
You taped over
my Star Trek episode.

342
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,025
So?

343
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,695
So, now I may never
get to see it.

344
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,196
What if it was a two-parter?

345
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,949
I can't start a two-parter
on part two. That's madness.

346
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,076
I think I'm gonna go.

347
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,453
Okay.

348
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,704
Hola, señorita.

349
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,665
She's in my Spanish class.

350
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,124
I'll call you later.

351
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,085
Te veo mañana
en la clase de español.

352
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,629
What?

353
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,506
That means, "See you tomorrow
in Spanish class."

354
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,675
I was going to ask
how you thought you did

355
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:04,594
on Friday's quiz, but I'm
guessing the answer is no bueno.

356
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,181
Adios.

357
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,890
(door opens)
What?

358
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,560
(nose blowing)

359
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,145
I'm sorry.

360
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,856
This is your wedding,
and I'm making it all about me.

361
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:20,485
No. I mean, you are,
but it's fine.

362
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:24,030
It's just, every bride dreams
of walking down the aisle,

363
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,157
and I never got to have that.

364
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,368
Still on you. Okay.

365
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,203
I'm sorry. I'll stop.

366
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:33,872
Hey, even though I'm looking
fly, I'm still your pastor.

367
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:36,042
Well...

368
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:38,503
it's more than the wedding.

369
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:42,215
Overnight, I became
a wife and a mother.

370
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:44,551
I feel like
I missed out on a lot.

371
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:47,094
Well, sometimes the Lord
has his own plans for us.

372
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,639
And if it helps, Robin
and I always talk about

373
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,725
how much we admire
you and your family.

374
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,518
Really?

375
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,895
Your marriage may have
gotten off to a rough start,

376
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:58,356
but if that's what it took
to get where you are,

377
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,149
maybe God knew
what he was doing.

378
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,235
(sighs)

379
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,653
You know what?

380
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,530
Let's get back
to planning your wedding.

381
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,990
Oh, no. You're done.
You may be a great wife

382
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:09,784
and mother, but
you stink at this.

383
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,369
That's fair.

384
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,873
Do I have to?

385
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,458
You want to add grandkids
to this mess?

386
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,710
God, no.

387
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,420
Georgie, we need to talk.

388
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,005
What now?

389
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,925
(clicks tongue)

390
00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:29,220
You're of an age
where your body has...

391
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,513
urges.

392
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,181
Oh, my God!

393
00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,808
Georgie, you need
to hear this.

394
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,268
From both of you?

395
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:38,104
W-Well, who do you want
to hear it from?

396
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:41,399
No one. But if I got
to pick, I guess you.

397
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,983
Good choice.

398
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:45,403
Don't forget to tell him
about venereal disease.

399
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,154
(chuckles)

400
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,281
(door closes)

401
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,324
MAN:
This next part's so great.

402
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,577
WESLEY CRUSHER (over TV):
Yes, sir. I'm aware of that.

403
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,788
(gentle orchestral music
playing over TV)

404
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,208
The Academy?

405
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:02,128
PICARD:
I just received a message
from Admiral Nsomeka.

406
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:04,881
She expects you...
What's going on here?

407
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:07,884
Wesley Crusher was just accepted
into Starfleet Academy,

408
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,219
and for his final mission,
he's accompanying Picard

409
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:12,931
on a shuttle mission
to Pentarus Five.

410
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,809
No. I mean...
who's your friend?

411
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,936
Oh, he's not a friend.
He's a stranger.

412
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,062
I met him on a Star
Trek bulletin board.

413
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,606
He had a copy
of the episode

414
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,274
Georgie taped over
and brought it here.

415
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:27,027
Hello. I'm Nathan.

416
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:31,324
I'm gonna have to ask you
to leave... Nathan.

417
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,117
Okay.

418
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,119
But I'm taking
my tape with me.
That's fine.

419
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,622
No. I need to see the end.
No, you don't!

420
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,500
Does anyone read us?

421
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,335
(clears throat)
And I know your
mom would want me

422
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,962
to tell you to
wait till marriage,

423
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:47,381
but I also know...
you're probably not going to.

424
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,967
Did you?

425
00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:52,261
The important thing is
that when you're with a girl...

426
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:53,680
(scoffs)

427
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,976
You know how when
we're running practice drills

428
00:16:58,016 --> 00:17:01,980
and we wear protection
so both people are safe?

429
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,189
Yeah.

430
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,859
Well, there you go.

431
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:07,652
What?

432
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,947
Same thing,
but with your privates.

433
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:13,407
Please leave.
Thank you.

434
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,827
PICARD:
Wesley,

435
00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:19,079
you will be missed.
(door closes)

436
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,625
That was excellent.

437
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,377
Yeah, top notch.

438
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,004
Get out!

439
00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:27,839
Yeah, I think that
turned out pretty--

440
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,173
Who the hell is this?

441
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,676
This is Nathan. He's
been to four Comic-Cons.

442
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:32,927
And he's leaving.

443
00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,136
Are you sure?

444
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,681
Beam your ass out of here.

445
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,975
Yes, ma'am.

446
00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:42,228
One to beam up.

447
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:43,938
Energize.

448
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,524
(Star Trek: The Next Generation
theme playing)

449
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,401
ADULT SHELDON:
Okay, that last part
didn't happen,

450
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,069
but, boy,
would that have been neat.

451
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:52,530
That was so neat.

452
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,200
Forgot my tape.

453
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,411
(music stops, tape ejects)

454
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,666
Energize.

455
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,045
I miss him already.

456
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:12,008
Robin and Jeffrey,

457
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:14,343
by their solemn vows
freely made before God...

458
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:18,014
ADULT SHELDON:
Pastor Jeff and Officer Robin
finally had their ceremony,

459
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:21,434
which was nice for them,
but meant I had to go to church

460
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:24,186
on a Saturday
and watch old people kiss.

461
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,898
You may kiss the bride.

462
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,664
(applause fades,
people murmuring)

463
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:48,586
("A Little Less Conversation"
by Elvis Presley playing)

464
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:57,971
♪ A little less conversation,
a little more action ♪

465
00:18:58,012 --> 00:19:01,599
♪ All this aggravation
ain't satisfactioning me... ♪

466
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,769
No tongue. No tongue.
Oh, there it is.

467
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,771
♪ And open up your heart
and, baby, satisfy me ♪

468
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,398
♪ Satisfy me ♪
♪ Come on, come on... ♪

469
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,442
Where are they going
in such a hurry?

470
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,028
Probably to unwrap
their presents.

471
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,655
♪ Satisfy me, baby... ♪

472
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,406
Something's
getting unwrapped.

473
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:18,992
Told you.
♪ Satisfy me, baby ♪

474
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:21,077
♪ Satisfy me ♪
♪ Satisfy me, girl ♪

475
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,245
♪ Come on, come on... ♪
fy me, girl ♪