1 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:02,419 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:03,587 A secret casino room? 3 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,422 The cops shut me down. 4 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:06,632 Let's get this going again. 5 00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:07,925 (slot machines whirring) 6 00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,259 How we doing? 7 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,552 There's a problem with the cashbox. 8 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:11,595 Oh, what's that? 9 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,597 Can't get it to close. 10 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:16,391 That is my kind of problem. 11 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,312 ADULT SHELDON: Let's talk about the glory of meetings. 12 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:23,273 What's not to love? Agendas, detailed minutes, 13 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,193 and if you're lucky, they begin and end 14 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,736 with the soothing sound of discipline and rules. 15 00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:29,571 Ah. 16 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,699 You can imagine my frustration 17 00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:34,159 when I found out East Texas Tech 18 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:37,287 had faculty meetings that I was not allowed to attend. 19 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,539 -Excuse me. - Not that I didn't try. 20 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,875 -Goodbye, Sheldon. -SHELDON: Darn it. 21 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,211 (quiet chatter) 22 00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:46,338 Sheldon, out. 23 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,089 Aw. 24 00:00:49,048 --> 00:00:50,425 (quiet chatter) 25 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,682 Sorry, I thought you were an irritating young man 26 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,225 that won't leave me alone. 27 00:00:58,308 --> 00:00:59,935 SHELDON: That's rude. 28 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:01,562 Out. 29 00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:03,022 So, how was it? 30 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,606 Did any subcommittees get formed? 31 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,984 No, Sheldon, it was just a budget meeting. 32 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,861 Ooh, budgets, do tell. 33 00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:11,321 Most of it was about reducing the gen-ed science requirement 34 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,990 from eight credits to four. 35 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,367 But that's less science classes. Who would want that? 36 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:18,954 Apparently the administration, the students and their parents. 37 00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:20,789 -Did anyone try to stop it? -No. 38 00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:23,333 -Did it spark a heated debate? -Not really, no. 39 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,002 Were you at least annoyed? 40 00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:26,754 -Do I sound annoyed? -Yes. 41 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,006 -Well, there you go. -Hmm. 42 00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:32,051 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 43 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,845 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 44 00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:37,431 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 45 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,683 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 46 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:44,354 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 47 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,860 I can't believe the faculty is okay with this. 48 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:52,279 It just means students who aren't science majors 49 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,698 need to take one class instead of two. 50 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,033 But that's 50% less. 51 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,492 Sheldon, this doesn't affect you. 52 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,160 Less science affects all of society. 53 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,621 And in case you haven't noticed, 54 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,039 I'm good at making things all about me. 55 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,665 Yes, I have picked up on that. 56 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:06,209 Sorry, there's nothing I can do about it. 57 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,879 I understand. You're just a cog in the machine. 58 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,547 In fact, why am I talking to you? 59 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,549 Feel free to stop. 60 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,263 I thought you'd be at work. 61 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,181 I work nights this week. 62 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,434 Oh, I didn't realize the Laundromat was open late. 63 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,227 I did that. 64 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,229 People work during the day, it seemed like an untapped market. 65 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,940 Smart. You know, 66 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,733 if you want to advertise your new hours, 67 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,069 you could take out an ad in the church bulletin. 68 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,821 That ain't a bad idea. 69 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:36,406 Maybe I'm where you get it from. 70 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,576 Oh! It could say something like, 71 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,662 "Jesus washes away your sins, 72 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,204 and we'll wash away your stains." 73 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,749 (chuckles): Wow! You are really good at this. 74 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,751 (laughs) 75 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,795 SHELDON: And do you 76 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,005 really want to be the president 77 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:52,631 of a university that is responsible 78 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,133 for the dumbing down 79 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,300 of scientific discourse on this campus? 80 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,260 I totally agree with you. 81 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,762 You do? 82 00:02:58,846 --> 00:02:59,972 Oh, it's an outrage. 83 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,556 I came here to make this school 84 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,433 the Harvard of East Texas. 85 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,060 Not the... 86 00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:06,812 Wh-What's your least favorite school? 87 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,229 MIT. 88 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,983 Not the MIT of East Texas. 89 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,359 Nice dig at MIT. 90 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,193 (chuckles): Well, they deserve it. 91 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,237 So, you're gonna keep the science requirements the same? 92 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,323 If it were up to me, yes. 93 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:19,867 But you're the president. 94 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:22,243 Everyone has a boss, Sheldon. 95 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:25,664 Now, unfortunately, I have to answer to the... 96 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,374 grand chancellor. 97 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,459 Oh. I've never heard of him. 98 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,087 Oh, well, he definitely exists. 99 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:33,547 Perhaps I should speak with him. 100 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,842 I appreciate that, but this is my fight-- 101 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,053 win or lose-- and I'll probably lose, 102 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:42,597 but I am gonna go down swinging, I promise you that. 103 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,641 Can I help? 104 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:45,893 Absolutely. 105 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,435 I need you to put together 106 00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:49,312 a report backing up our position. 107 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,190 Charts, graphs-- the whole shebang. 108 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:52,607 Hmm. 109 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,068 Charts and graphs of what? 110 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,402 (stammers) 111 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,154 Am I helping you or are you helping me? 112 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,238 Uh, of course. 113 00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,364 I'll figure it out. 114 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:00,490 I know you will. 115 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,700 Okay, now, 116 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,035 get out of here. 117 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,161 You have a lot of work to do. 118 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,787 Yes, ma'am. 119 00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,707 -(sighs) -(door opens) 120 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,375 (door closes) 121 00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,086 Kid makes me thirsty. 122 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,965 (coughing) 123 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:24,431 Maybe we take a little break and let this one dry out. 124 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,516 You don't have to ask me twice. 125 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,435 (coughing) 126 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,729 Do you ever think about quitting? 127 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:31,855 This job? Yeah. 128 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,065 Since when did we start 129 00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:35,943 advertising gambling rooms? 130 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,861 What? It's a Laundromat. 131 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:42,157 Yeah, and the massage parlor off the freeway is for stiff necks. 132 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:45,160 (scoffs) Well, that is a legitimate business. 133 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:47,704 My mother owns it, my son works there. 134 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,039 If you say so. 135 00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,749 I do say so. 136 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:51,750 Fine. 137 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,543 It's true. 138 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,920 I'd say, "Want to bet," 139 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,546 but I lost 40 bucks last night 140 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,424 at your mom's "legitimate business." 141 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,636 Are you running a gambling room in the back of the Laundromat? 142 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,638 What? No. 143 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,807 Peg says she was there last night. 144 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,184 Oh, "gambling room." 145 00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:10,518 Yeah. 146 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,397 What are you thinking? 147 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,316 You know gambling is illegal. 148 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:19,027 Why do you care how people spend their money? 149 00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:21,780 Gambling destroys lives. 150 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,406 That's what you say about booze. 151 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,533 I think it's an excellent pairing. 152 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:29,370 Wait, does Georgie know about all of this? 153 00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:32,666 -Um... -Oh, my Lord. 154 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,584 It's okay, I'm looking after for him. 155 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,295 What if the police show up? 156 00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:38,130 Don't you worry about them. 157 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,464 We got an understanding. 158 00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:40,507 What does that mean? 159 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,633 I'd explain it to you, 160 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:42,926 but you wouldn't understand. 161 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,845 You are unbelievable. 162 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,097 It is bad enough for you to do all this stuff, 163 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:50,058 but then to drag Georgie down into your den of sin. 164 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:53,103 Oh, please, it's not a den of sin. 165 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,022 Although that is a great name. 166 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,524 Den of Sin. 167 00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,484 That would get some butts in seats. 168 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:01,236 (exclaims) 169 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:05,032 The chancellor said no? Did he even look at my report? 170 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:09,077 He did, he was impressed, but it didn't change his mind. 171 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,038 After all our hard work. 172 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,123 I know. Bummer. 173 00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,000 But hey, we gave it our best shot, 174 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,793 so time to move on, right? 175 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,377 Absolutely not. 176 00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:21,340 Are you sure? 'Cause it feels like time to me. 177 00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:22,757 We have to keep fighting. 178 00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,301 If Antonie van Leeuwenhoek had given up, 179 00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:25,760 where would we be? 180 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,721 Where would we be? 181 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:29,139 In a world without microscopes. 182 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:31,266 Because that guy invented them? 183 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:33,601 Boy, did he. At least the first modern microscope. 184 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,312 He's known as the father of microbiology. 185 00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:36,771 I have a good book on him I could loan you. 186 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,148 Anyway, we can't give up. 187 00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:39,774 Hey, you are preaching to the choir, 188 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:42,110 but... (scoffs) I mean, what can we do? 189 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:43,904 I could write to some science luminaries, 190 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,155 try get them on our side. 191 00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,573 Stephen Hawking, Carl Sagan. 192 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,449 Not Antonie van Leeuwenhoek. He's dead. 193 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,285 All right, but just on the off chance 194 00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,996 that they're too busy to reply, 195 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,165 I think that you should get out there on campus, 196 00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,292 talk to students, change their minds. 197 00:06:57,376 --> 00:07:00,003 One-on-one? That could take months. 198 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,255 Great. 199 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,173 ALEX TREBEK: Animated films. 200 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,716 Frog anatomy. 201 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:07,928 -The Bible. -Why are you watching Jeopardy? 202 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:10,597 Sheldon's not the only one who likes to learn stuff. 203 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,391 You don't know where the remote is. 204 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:14,351 It's right here. 205 00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:15,643 It's just out of batteries. 206 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,312 Want me to get some? 207 00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:19,273 -And a beer, while you're up. -(door opens, closes) 208 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,025 Is Georgie here? 209 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,944 No, I think he's still at work. 210 00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,988 Do you know that that Laundromat is just a front for gambling? 211 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,073 MISSY: Cool. 212 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,616 Missy Cooper, 213 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,826 that was not for your ears. Go to your room. 214 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,288 So, what's this all about? 215 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,332 My mother is running a gambling room 216 00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:39,000 out of the back of the Laundromat, 217 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,002 and she has Georgie helping her. 218 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,879 They never invited me. 219 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,214 George. 220 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:45,632 We have to get him out of there. 221 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,592 Mary, we told him not to drop out of school, 222 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:49,136 he dropped out of school. 223 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,638 Told him he couldn't have girls in the garage, 224 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,390 he has girls in the garage. 225 00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,100 -He does? -MISSY: So many. 226 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,226 (scoffs) Missy! 227 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,727 I'm in my room. 228 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,020 Well, close the door. 229 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,731 (door creaks slowly) 230 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,066 All the way. 231 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,234 (door closes) 232 00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:05,360 The point is, 233 00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:06,527 he didn't listen to us then, 234 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,695 he's not gonna listen now. 235 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,030 So, we do nothing? 236 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,949 We let him make his own mistakes. 237 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,701 That just sounds like another way of saying we do nothing. 238 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,203 I'm gonna go down there. 239 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,580 And that's a mistake I'm gonna let you make. 240 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,916 (sighs) 241 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,960 (TV continues indistinctly) 242 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,837 Missy! Batteries! 243 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,423 ADULT SHELDON: President Hagemeyer was counting on me 244 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,217 to turn the tide of public opinion 245 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,885 and ignite the outrage of my fellow students. 246 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,347 Excuse me, would you like to sign my petition? 247 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,806 It's about the university reducing 248 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,057 our science requirements. 249 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,392 (chuckles): Less science? Sweet. 250 00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:38,810 No, it's to stop the reduction 251 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:41,520 and keep our science curriculum strong. 252 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,732 Are you hurrying off to tell your friends? 253 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,989 "Ben Dover." 254 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,366 Thanks, Ben. 255 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,409 -No. -Nuh-uh. 256 00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:56,244 Nope. 257 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,415 Excuse me, would you like to sign my petition about keeping 258 00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:02,459 -our science requirements strong? -Of course. 259 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,543 If you'll sign mine 260 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,045 to increase funding 261 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:06,587 for the school jazz band. 262 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,507 Let's pretend we never met. 263 00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:11,051 ADULT SHELDON: I needed a new plan. 264 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,011 One where I could reach the masses. 265 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,929 The front page of the campus newspaper 266 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,681 was my best course of action. 267 00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:19,600 I deployed every weapon in my literary arsenal. 268 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,019 Humor. 269 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:21,936 So funny. 270 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,688 Gravitas. 271 00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:24,689 So moving. 272 00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,191 Fearmongering. 273 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,192 So scary. 274 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,985 And last but not least, 275 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,653 heartfelt emotion. 276 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,407 Eh, not where I shine. I'll end on fear. 277 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:36,826 (music playing faintly on radio) 278 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,204 (quiet chatter) 279 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,623 Excuse me, if I had an exposé 280 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,959 that's going to rip the lid off this university's leadership 281 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:47,128 and shine a light on its rotten core, 282 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:48,171 who would I turn that in to? 283 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,464 You can give it to me. 284 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,258 I'd feel more comfortable giving it 285 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,093 to someone who's less likely to roll it up and smoke it. 286 00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,720 Well, I'm the editor, so it's me or nothing. 287 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,180 Very well. 288 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,474 I'm handing you the scoop of a lifetime. 289 00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:01,017 Okay. 290 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,937 As your people say, I think you'll dig it. 291 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,191 Georgie. 292 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,026 Hey, what are you doing here? 293 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,238 I know about the room in the back. 294 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,533 Do you know whether or not I know? 295 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,534 Yes. 296 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,535 Okay, that's gonna 297 00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:19,536 save us a lot of time. 298 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,870 It is not okay. 299 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,372 You are quitting right now. 300 00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:23,790 Why would I do that? 301 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:27,127 Because I am your mother, and it is wrong. 302 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:30,046 Well, I'm working for your mother, and she says it's okay. 303 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,466 And I answer to a higher power, 304 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,426 and He says it's also wrong, so I win, let's go. 305 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,595 Mom, please don't make a big deal out of this. 306 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:39,013 Oh, so there is an illegal gambling room 307 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,807 in the back, and it's no big deal? 308 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,225 There's a gambling room back there? 309 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,977 And there is a church two blocks down, 310 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,645 so maybe try that. 311 00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:47,772 Just go around to the alley. The password is "dryer sheet." 312 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,691 This is not a joke. 313 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,152 I'm worried about your soul. 314 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:54,279 I'm not gambling. No one's getting hurt. 315 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:58,116 Georgie, I know you think that, but this does hurt people. 316 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,034 It's not my business what people do with their money. 317 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,287 And it ain't your business, either, so butt out. 318 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,459 ADULT SHELDON: The next day, 319 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:10,128 I got to campus early to get a copy of my article, 320 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,796 hot off the presses. 321 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,048 Normally, I don't like getting newspaper ink 322 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,635 on my hands, but this was worth it. 323 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,138 Plus, I had Wet-Naps. 324 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,099 Where's my exposé? 325 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,519 -I didn't run it. -What? Why? 326 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,604 You're blaming this whole thing on a grand chancellor. 327 00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:29,314 There's no such person. 328 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,608 Of course there is. He's President Hagemeyer's boss. 329 00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:33,652 She doesn't have a boss. She's the president. 330 00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,320 Yes, she does, and we've been trying to fight him, 331 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:36,904 but he won't budge. 332 00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,491 The grand chancellor? 333 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:41,868 Well, when you say it like that it sounds made-up. 334 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:43,953 How would you say it? 335 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,580 The grand chancellor. 336 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,291 I've been had. 337 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,130 Mm-hmm. Oh. 338 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,674 Not now, I'm on the phone. 339 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,634 Oh, are you talking to the grand chancellor? 340 00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,844 Who I know doesn't exist, just like your integrity. 341 00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:01,054 Uh, I'll-I'll call you back. 342 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,430 Don't believe her! 343 00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,391 You can't just barge into my office. 344 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,017 And you can't just lie to my face. 345 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,268 I can and I did. 346 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,395 Well, I'm going to start 347 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,104 calling you President Hage-liar, 348 00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,481 and I think it'll to catch on 349 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:13,233 because it's both true and clever. 350 00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,402 Look, I know you're upset, but you left me no choice. 351 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,904 I knew you'd be a pain in the ass about these cuts. 352 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,280 Language, and also, these cuts 353 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,990 are detrimental on so many levels. 354 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,283 Not to the university. 355 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,951 Look... (sighs) 356 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:26,413 My job means sometimes making very hard decisions. 357 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:27,914 Now, I'm sorry that I lied to you, 358 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,667 and-and if it helps, I didn't enjoy it. 359 00:12:30,749 --> 00:12:32,669 -Yes, you did. -(chuckles): Yes, I did. 360 00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:34,753 I mean, grand chancellor? (snorts) 361 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:35,922 I really pulled that one out of my... 362 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,258 -Ah-ah. -...bottom. 363 00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:40,719 Well, I can lie about things, too. 364 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,680 Did I knock your papers on the floor? 365 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:46,807 No, I didn't. 366 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,685 Did I move your stapler? 367 00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:49,894 No, I didn't. 368 00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:53,022 Ooh, did I break your pencil? 369 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:55,734 (grunts) 370 00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,485 Yes, I did. 371 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:00,530 Hey, Mary. 372 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,948 Quick question. 373 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,658 Why can I see you through my newsletter? 374 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:06,953 Oh, sorry, I had to remove one of the ads. 375 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,538 Was there anything important on the other side? 376 00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:11,625 Just Peg's recipe for her grape salad. 377 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,335 With the mayonnaise and the pretzels. Barf. 378 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,171 Everything okay? 379 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:22,719 I feel like I'm a failure as a mother. 380 00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:24,387 What? 381 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,140 Why? 382 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,436 Georgie dropped out of school, 383 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:33,980 and now he's working in a gambling room. 384 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,567 I tried so hard to keep him on the right path, 385 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,445 and now I feel like I'm just pushing him away. 386 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,656 Hey, teenagers rebel. 387 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,073 When I was a kid 388 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,326 in El Paso, we used to cross the border 389 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,119 to drink beer and dance the night away. 390 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,330 I thought your father was a pastor. 391 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,791 He was. It didn't stop me. 392 00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,875 It's hard to imagine. 393 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,544 I'm sure my father felt the same way 394 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,672 when he found his little jefe doing the hustle 395 00:13:58,755 --> 00:13:59,922 en la discoteca. 396 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,591 (both chuckle) 397 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:05,136 Just picture this, but with a big ol' '70s perm. 398 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:06,387 I looked like a Chia Pet. 399 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:07,888 ♪ Do the hustle. ♪ 400 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:10,849 (music playing faintly on radio) 401 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,602 I still can't believe she lied to me. 402 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:16,105 Look, here's something you should know about life: 403 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,482 People lie. 404 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:18,650 Everybody? 405 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:19,776 Pretty much. 406 00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:21,194 Well, I don't like it. 407 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,697 Mm. It's not always a bad thing. 408 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,699 When is lying good? 409 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:29,619 Like when you're trying to spare someone's feelings. 410 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:32,121 Oh, I'd rather everybody just be honest. 411 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,414 Hmm. 412 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,124 Fine. 413 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,210 The last thing I wanted to do today was pick you up. 414 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:38,961 You said you were happy to do it. 415 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,463 See? Lies. 416 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,590 Not the worst. 417 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,135 I think I need to stop blindly trusting everything. 418 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,513 Hmm. Probably not a bad idea. 419 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,639 Thanks. 420 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,599 I wish I could believe you. 421 00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,103 ADULT SHELDON: Once I was on the lookout for liars, 422 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:58,523 - I saw them everywhere. -...absolutely necessary. 423 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,192 You're not a captain. You're just an actor. 424 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,861 Which is another word for liar. 425 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:05,196 And nothing... 426 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,574 is more important than my ship. 427 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,744 He's so darn good at it, though. 428 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,997 (cereal crackling) 429 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,542 I hear no snap, 430 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,961 I hear no pop, only crackle. 431 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,343 A bowl of lies. 432 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,969 (indistinct chatter) 433 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,139 Why are you watching wrestling? 434 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,933 They beat the crap out of each other. 435 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:34,934 It's great. 436 00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:36,352 I bet it's all fake. 437 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,312 Does that look fake to you? 438 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:43,192 Okay, it's nice to know something's real. 439 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,319 Ooh, he's bleeding. 440 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,071 Please watch over Missy and Sheldon 441 00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:49,282 and especially Georgie. 442 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,701 And please don't let my failings as a mother 443 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:54,328 get in the way of Your plans for their lives. 444 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:55,705 Amen. 445 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,165 (gasps) 446 00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,919 Hey, baby. What's wrong? 447 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,503 Is it that obvious? 448 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:06,424 Well, you are outside, where birds live. 449 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,426 True. I'll make it quick. 450 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:11,638 I'm experiencing what the Germans call weltschmerz. 451 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:12,806 Uh-huh. 452 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,141 And what do Americans call it? 453 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,434 The pain of the world. 454 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,394 Sounds more fun in German. 455 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,938 Most things do. 456 00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:22,565 Hmm. Sit. 457 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,902 Tell me why you have... What is it? 458 00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:27,111 Weltschmerz. 459 00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:28,905 Weltschmerz. 460 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,158 It's recently come to my attention 461 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:33,952 that everybody lies and you can't believe 462 00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,829 a thing that comes out of anyone's mouth. 463 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:39,582 I don't think everybody lies. You don't lie. 464 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,668 No, but perhaps to get by in the world 465 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,544 it's a skill I should cultivate. 466 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,003 I hope you don't. 467 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,506 I love your honesty. 468 00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,967 I want to believe you. 469 00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,551 (scoffs) You should, 470 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,012 because I'm your mother and I would never lie to you. 471 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,681 I would never lie to you, either. 472 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:57,183 So, I guess not everybody lies. 473 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,270 I heard what you said in your prayer, 474 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,356 and I don't think you're failing as a mother. 475 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,149 Thank you. 476 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:08,027 I think you're a pretty great son yourself. 477 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:10,237 I know I'm difficult. 478 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,367 There is not a single thing about you I would change. 479 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:18,245 ADULT SHELDON: My mom promised she would never lie to me. 480 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:19,622 And she never did. 481 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,207 (whispers): I'm sorry. 482 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,921 (slot machines whirring) 483 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,215 Hey. 484 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,884 Mom send you? 485 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,301 No. 486 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,553 She also doesn't know I'm here, 487 00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:34,804 so let's keep that between us. 488 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,305 All right. 489 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,974 Where's your meemaw? 490 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,517 Not here. She leaves me in charge 491 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,268 -when she's gone. -Is that right? 492 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,563 I also handle stuff in the Laundromat. 493 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:44,939 Well, good for you. 494 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:48,609 So... you're okay with me working here? 495 00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:51,153 Well, since I never been here 496 00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,113 and we never had this conversation... 497 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:55,115 ...sure. 498 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,117 Cool. Want to give it a spin? 499 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,287 These things really pay out? 500 00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,789 All the time. 501 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,876 Not that one. We call it the homewrecker. 502 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,544 Which one, then? 503 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,254 That one's your buddy. 504 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,464 Yeah? 505 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,802 Look at me! I-I won two dollars! 506 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,016 (phone rings) 507 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,392 President Hagemeyer. 508 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:22,727 (speaking device): Miss Hagemeyer, 509 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,645 Stephen Hawking here. 510 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,107 Oh, hello. I... 511 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,777 I... Is this really Stephen Hawking? 512 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:33,279 Does it not sound like me? 513 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:36,198 Sorry, I have a cold. 514 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,575 Oh, uh... 515 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:40,078 That was a joke. Ha, ha, ha. 516 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,329 (chuckles) Uh... 517 00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:43,998 how can I help you, sir? 518 00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,584 I received a letter from one of your students 519 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:50,797 about the decision to reduce science requirements. 520 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,091 Very disappointing. 521 00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:55,259 Well, I would never want to disappoint you, 522 00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,720 but that-that wasn't my decision. 523 00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,514 Whose decision was it? 524 00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:03,517 The grand chancellor. 525 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,937 -That is a lie. -Yeah, yeah, that's a lie. 526 00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:12,902 Has anyone ever called you President Hage-liar? s.