1 00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:02,586 -Previously on Young Sheldon... - Billy! 2 00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,463 Mr. Cooper is here. 3 00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:06,757 How you doing? 4 00:00:06,841 --> 00:00:09,426 Do not look under that rock. 5 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,096 But I appreciate you asking. 6 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,807 Hey, you got rejected. 7 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:16,684 But was it the end of the world? 8 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,226 No. 9 00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,270 And that is extremely valuable information. 10 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,814 And honestly... 11 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,899 you dodged a bullet with Missy. 12 00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:25,609 The girl is mean. 13 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,778 Thanks. 14 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,202 (indistinct chatter, clamoring) 15 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,578 WOMAN: Come on, Missy! 16 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,455 -Hey. -Hey! 17 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,791 Came to see your man be a leader of little people, huh? 18 00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:43,418 I came to see my granddaughter pitch. 19 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,004 Yeah, under my leadership. 20 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:46,964 All right, Cooper, let's see what you got. 21 00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:48,298 Come on, girl! 22 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,511 Come on, shake it off! 23 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,262 You got this. 24 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,477 What the hell was that? 25 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,312 Well, there's some leadership. 26 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,234 DALE: Time! 27 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:08,402 Cooper! 28 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,653 Time! 29 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,614 Cooper, what is the problem? 30 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,700 The ball isn't going where it's supposed to. 31 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:15,826 I saw that. 32 00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,036 What am I doing wrong? 33 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,079 Just a little case of the yips. 34 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:21,498 -It happens. -What's that? 35 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,375 The yips-- you know, it's when you're thinking 36 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:24,960 about stuff in your head 37 00:01:25,044 --> 00:01:27,004 and something you've done a million times, 38 00:01:27,086 --> 00:01:29,673 you can't do it anymore. Even the pros get it. 39 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:31,842 How do I get rid of it? 40 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:34,011 Uh, just don't think about it. 41 00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:35,888 Okay. 42 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:39,140 (sighs) 43 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,896 Don't think, just throw. 44 00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:48,442 (crowd clamoring) 45 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,819 I hate the little people. 46 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,573 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 47 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,367 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 48 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,620 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 49 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,539 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 50 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:06,877 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 51 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,510 (engine sputtering) 52 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,556 BRENDA: Damn it! 53 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,975 Brenda? 54 00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,517 What? 55 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:23,978 Everything okay over there? 56 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,813 Oh, yeah. 57 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,898 Okay. 58 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:28,983 (engine sputtering) 59 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,233 Damn it! 60 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,736 Okay, give her a go. 61 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:35,030 (engine starts) 62 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,658 You're a lifesaver. 63 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,243 It's a gift. 64 00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:42,830 Can I offer you a beer and some thank-you cobbler? 65 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,957 Weren't you on your way somewhere? 66 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,792 Weight Watchers. 67 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,043 (laughs) 68 00:02:48,127 --> 00:02:49,461 What do you say? 69 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,546 Eh, sure. 70 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,383 Do guys ever go to those Weight Watchers meetings? 71 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,594 Yeah, but they're all fat. 72 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,513 (laughs) 73 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,141 ADULT SHELDON: Of all the tests one takes in school, 74 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,893 my favorite was the midterm. 75 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:06,561 Finals weren't bad, 76 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,313 but they also meant summer was approaching. 77 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,899 I don't believe in religion, but sunshine, 78 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,734 picnics and pool parties 79 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,444 are proof hell exists. 80 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,237 (nearby thud) 81 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,576 (door thuds) 82 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:25,998 Aah! 83 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,332 Why are you trying to hit me? 84 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,501 I'm trying to hit the target. 85 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,627 It's over there. 86 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,921 I know, dingus. 87 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,717 I thought you were good at this. 88 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,885 I was. 89 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,303 Coach Dale says I have the yips. 90 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,097 It's not contagious, is it? 91 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:44,432 No, it happens in sports. 92 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,810 Suddenly you can't do a thing that used to be easy. 93 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,520 It doesn't sound real. 94 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,522 Then why can't I pitch anymore? 95 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,524 Ooh, perhaps it's the onset of puberty 96 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,693 and the hysterical mood swings that go with it. 97 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,361 Dingus, house. 98 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:58,363 You're only proving my point. 99 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,578 What, Billy won an award? 100 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,872 Participation. 101 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:07,998 Big whoop. 102 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,499 I guess it's something. 103 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,168 Well, he ain't the sharpest pencil in the box, 104 00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:13,253 but he's the sweetest kid I know. 105 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,505 Well, Sheldon is the sharpest pencil. 106 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,298 Sometimes I'd just like 107 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,009 to shove his head in that box. 108 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:21,386 (chuckles) Where's your trash? 109 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:22,763 Everywhere. 110 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,306 -But the basket's under the sink. -Mm. 111 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,852 (exhales) 112 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,771 You know your faucet's leaking? 113 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,940 Yep, this whole place is falling apart. 114 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,649 Well... 115 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,235 -I'll come over another time, and take care of it. -Oh. 116 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,237 You know, you don't have to do that. 117 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:39,780 One more? 118 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,866 I should get going. 119 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,826 Well, thanks again. 120 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:49,623 Want to buy a house? 121 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,291 (door opens) 122 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,085 Hey, where you been? 123 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,462 Ah, Brenda was having car trouble. 124 00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:56,964 -Just giving her hand. -That's nice. 125 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,299 I'm sure it's hard being by herself. 126 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,717 Yeah. 127 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,343 That whole house is in need of repair. 128 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,554 I hope you offered to help her out. 129 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,389 I did... she said no. 130 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,516 Well, that's just her being proud. 131 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,644 Of course she wants your help. 132 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,648 (stammers) I guess some time I'll pop over. 133 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,316 Good. 134 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,526 And when you go, hitch up your pants. 135 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,654 There's a lot going on when you squat. 136 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,281 LINKLETTER: All right. 137 00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:23,991 You have 45 minutes to complete 138 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,034 the test, eyes on your own paper and... 139 00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:28,912 Yes, Sheldon, if you finish early, you can take it again. 140 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,413 And... 141 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,665 begin! 142 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,000 ADULT SHELDON: And I was off. 143 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,626 I flew through wave functions. 144 00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,295 I dominated harmonic oscillators. 145 00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:38,839 The only challenging part of this exam 146 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,300 was trying to balance the desire to finish quickly 147 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:44,178 with the urge to stop and smell my freshly sharpened pencil. 148 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,096 Mmm. 149 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,931 I was in the zone. 150 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,599 Only one question left. 151 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,976 All I needed to do 152 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,602 was solve Schrodinger's equation 153 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,480 in a cylindrical well by employing the zeroes 154 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,440 of the Bessel function, which of course were... 155 00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:01,236 Wait, what are they? 156 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,946 Come on, you know this. 157 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,948 You've done it a million times. 158 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,409 Oh, dear. 159 00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:18,837 All right, Sheldon, time to turn in your test. 160 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,047 I'm not done yet. 161 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,049 (sighs) I know you like to add 162 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,259 your own "better questions" at the end, 163 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:26,053 but for the last time, I don't count them. 164 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,638 I just need a few more minutes on this problem. 165 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,224 That's an easy one. 166 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:31,766 Just apply the zeroes of the Bessel function. 167 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,310 I know what I have to do. 168 00:06:33,392 --> 00:06:34,936 Is this is a tantrum? 169 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,688 I've heard children your age like to throw them. 170 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,523 I can't remember what the zeroes 171 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:40,359 of the Bessel function are. 172 00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:41,568 You didn't memorize them? 173 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,820 Of course I did-- October 7, 1988. 174 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,404 I had just had a bowl of Teddy Grahams. 175 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,948 Then what's the problem? 176 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,327 I'm blanking, but I'll get it. 177 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:51,494 Sorry, son, class is over. 178 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:52,996 No, I can do this. 179 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,956 It's just one question. You'll still pass. 180 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,251 Sheldon Cooper doesn't "just pass." 181 00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,752 I have an idea. 182 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,003 Let me see the test. 183 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,089 Thank you. 184 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,757 Sheldon Cooper isn't always 185 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,675 -that gullible. -He was today. 186 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,057 All right, almost there. 187 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,808 Hand me a screwdriver. 188 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,476 Don't stick this in an outlet. 189 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,853 It really tingles. 190 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,814 -We had an incident. -Yeah. 191 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:22,276 You know what? 192 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,484 Why don't you fix it? 193 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,445 -BOTH: Really? -Yeah, you see 194 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,571 that little screw there? 195 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,156 Just go ahead and tighten her up. 196 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,325 Like this? Yep. 197 00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:32,077 BILLY: What now? 198 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,329 Uh, run outside and turn the water back on. 199 00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:36,790 Here, I'm not allowed to run with this. 200 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:39,667 We've had a lot of incidents. 201 00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,004 -Who knew you were so handy? -Yeah. 202 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:45,215 There's just things guys need to be good at. 203 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,134 What else you good at? 204 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,844 (water sputters) 205 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,596 I should go. 206 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,559 (door closes) 207 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,312 Hey, pretty lady. 208 00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,814 -Are you drinking already? -(laughs) No! 209 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,524 Can't a guy give his wife a compliment? 210 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,110 Do I have to smell your breath? 211 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,945 How about a kiss instead? 212 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,447 What is with you? 213 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,823 Well, I don't know. 214 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,950 Kids aren't home. 215 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,619 Now? I'm doing laundry. 216 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,121 Laundry can wait. 217 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,538 So can your thing. 218 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,458 I like to think of it as our thing, 219 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,252 but if you only have time for my thing, that's fine, too. 220 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,129 You're being weird. 221 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,880 Weird sexy? 222 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,048 No. 223 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,092 -Headed to the bedroom? -No! 224 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,386 Just checking. 225 00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:33,596 (sighs) 226 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,723 SHELDON: Missy! 227 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,516 You gave me your yips. 228 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,144 What? 229 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,728 I froze on a test. That's never happened before. 230 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,063 It's all your fault. 231 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,731 I told you it's not contagious. 232 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,108 You put the thought in my head. 233 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,609 The power of suggestion is very real. 234 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,653 Case in point: tulip mania. 235 00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,571 -Here we go. -Tulip mania 236 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,449 was an insane desire to buy and trade 237 00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:53,950 tulip bulbs in the 1600s. 238 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,785 It nearly ruined the Dutch economy. 239 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,745 You would not believe the gilders they were spending. 240 00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,498 How can you remember this stupid information, 241 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,082 but not the stuff on your test? 242 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,501 You tell me, they're your yips. 243 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,461 Sheldon, if I knew how to make it stop, 244 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,586 I would tell you. 245 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,464 You better. 246 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,217 Maybe it's puberty making you all emotional. 247 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,386 I checked my armpits-- smooth as balloons. 248 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,221 (groans) 249 00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:17,682 Hey. (groans) 250 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:19,934 What's your problem? 251 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,186 I don't want to talk about it. 252 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,522 -Great. -I had a mental block 253 00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:24,898 on a test and it was something that 254 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,649 I absolutely know how to do. 255 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,860 Oh, you know, that sort of thing happens in sports, too. 256 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,028 I know. It's called the yips, 257 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,196 and it's a very silly name 258 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,613 for a very serious problem. 259 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,533 Well, you know, the best thing to do 260 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:36,243 is get out of your head. 261 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,161 How do I do that? 262 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,871 Just turn your brain off. 263 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,082 It's like I'm not even your son. 264 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,791 (sighs) Look. 265 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,710 I know you don't respect what I do as a coach. 266 00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:47,212 Maybe you do know me. 267 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,881 But this is a thing I actually know about. 268 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,966 I've seen it happen to my players. 269 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,676 I've seen it happen to pros in golf. 270 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,262 In baseball. 271 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,930 The answer is always the same. 272 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,516 Stop thinking and get out of your own way. 273 00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,935 I don't know how to do that. 274 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,105 Have you ever heard the Nike slogan "Just do it"? 275 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,607 I'm familiar with the phrase "let's do it," 276 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,317 uttered by Gary Gilmore, the last person 277 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,986 to be executed by firing squad in America. 278 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,157 Okay, well, it's a shoe slogan. 279 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,577 And it's good advice. 280 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,495 The answer is already in your head. 281 00:10:20,579 --> 00:10:21,913 Don't think so hard. 282 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,664 Just do it. 283 00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,293 I'll try. 284 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,835 Good man. 285 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,922 Another fun footwear slogan is "I'm Buster Brown. 286 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,174 "I live in a shoe. That's my dog Tige. 287 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,593 Look for him there, too." 288 00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,761 Mm, I think mine is more helpful. 289 00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:38,472 Well, mine rhymes, so... 290 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,477 ADULT SHELDON: I decided to heed my father's advice. 291 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,229 I wasn't sure how to turn off my brain. 292 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,689 Thankfully, I lived with an expert. 293 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,942 What's up? 294 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,320 I've never really thought about not thinking before. 295 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,155 Well, I'm asking you to think about it. 296 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,616 But I thought you were interested in not thinking. 297 00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,367 I am. I want you to think about not thinking, 298 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,577 and then teach me how to do it. 299 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,702 Do what? 300 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:02,870 Not think. 301 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,165 All right. 302 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:09,294 This is tough. 303 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,505 I'm good at not thinking, but I don't think 304 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,507 I can teach you how to not think without thinking. 305 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,800 Hmm, well, thank you for trying. 306 00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:17,385 Hold on! What if you're thinking 307 00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:18,845 about something else instead? 308 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,847 Would that count as thinking or not thinking? 309 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,099 I suppose it's similar to the mantras 310 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,934 extolled by the sages of the east. 311 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,811 It's a practice that Swami Vivekananda 312 00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,896 called Japa Yoga and it's intended to bring out 313 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:31,690 a single-pointedness of concentration. 314 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,861 Sorry, I zoned out. 315 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,988 -Ooh, tell me how. -Let's see. 316 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,156 You were blabbering. 317 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,991 It all started to blur together. 318 00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,409 And I was gone. 319 00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:42,827 At what point did it start to happen? 320 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,621 I don't know. Say it again. 321 00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:45,704 I said I suppose 322 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,081 it's similar to the mantras 323 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,916 extolled by the sages of the east. 324 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,836 It's a practice that Swami Vivekananda called Japa Yoga... 325 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:54,548 ♪ ♪ 326 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,223 That is wild. 327 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,271 ADULT SHELDON: The next day, armed with the sage advice 328 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,315 of my father, my brother, 329 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,984 and an executed murderer, I was allowed to retake the test. 330 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:18,071 You have 45 minutes starting now. 331 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,448 SHELDON: Okay, just do it. 332 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:21,908 Just do it. 333 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,660 Just turn your brain off and do it. 334 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,329 Is it off? Am I doing it? 335 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,582 Wait, if I'm thinking it's off, then it must still be on. 336 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,292 I'm trying too hard. Don't overthink, just do it. 337 00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:34,087 Just do it, just-- 338 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,214 Time's up. 339 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:38,466 But I didn't do it. 340 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:39,593 Waste my morning? 341 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:40,927 You did it. 342 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,096 That toilet won't stop running. 343 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,889 Have you tried jiggling the handle? 344 00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,433 I jiggled it, wiggled it. 345 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,017 Damn near had a baby with it. 346 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,936 (chuckles) Yeah, let me take a look. 347 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,522 I was fixing to put some dinner on, if you care to join me. 348 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,857 I don't want to put you out. 349 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,526 It's just frozen lasagna. 350 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,529 But I'm going oven instead of microwave, 351 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,281 'cause you're company. (chuckles) 352 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,324 What are you doing? 353 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,451 What do you mean? 354 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,911 (scoffs) You know what I mean. 355 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,707 I was just trying to thank you. 356 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,500 And you're the one who offered 357 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,085 to come over here and fix things. 358 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,378 I was being nice. 359 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,504 So was I. 360 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,089 Yeah, maybe a little too nice. 361 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,049 There is no pleasing you. 362 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,259 Well, I don't need this here. 363 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:22,427 I can get fighting at my house. 364 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:23,428 Then maybe you should go back 365 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:24,971 to your house. 366 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,307 BILLY: Mom, can you help with my homework? 367 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,643 There in a sec. 368 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,102 You leaving? 369 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:32,562 You gonna fix the toilet? 370 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,147 -No. -Then I guess I'm not leaving. 371 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,607 Thank you. Lasagna? 372 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,066 Small piece. Mary's making tacos. 373 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,068 Okay. 374 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,028 ADULT SHELDON: Trying to outsmart my own thought patterns 375 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,572 proved to be challenging. 376 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:45,408 It's understandable, as smart as I was, 377 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,410 I was also that smart. 378 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:50,997 I wondered if I could invent a mind control device, 379 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,000 but that sounded a little too "mwah-ha-ha" 380 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,669 even for me. It turned out 381 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,462 the device I was looking for 382 00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:00,173 had been in my presence the entire time. 383 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,216 Television. It had been tranquilizing 384 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,552 the minds of America's youth for generations, 385 00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,554 and it was just what I needed. 386 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:08,222 MAN: Lift off. 387 00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,099 Too interesting. 388 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,393 Too violent. 389 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,852 (indistinct TV chatter) 390 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,272 (chuckles) I don't think so. 391 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:19,359 Now, then, let's build us a little cloud. 392 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:21,611 Clouds are very free. 393 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,571 Very, very free. 394 00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:24,989 Tell you what. If you... 395 00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,533 That was so much fun, let's get crazy... 396 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:29,410 Who's this bohemian? 397 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,120 PETERSON: If you could have 398 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,665 any job in the high school, what would it be? 399 00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:36,125 (laughs) I don't know, why? 400 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,336 Sometimes I look at the janitor 401 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,254 pushing around that buffing machine. 402 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:42,340 That thing looks like a blast. 403 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,634 He doesn't wear a tie. 404 00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,720 No fights with the school board. 405 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:51,182 Vomit and feces aside, he's, he's living the dream. 406 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,935 Hello? Am I boring you? 407 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,020 Sorry. 408 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:57,605 I'm a little distracted. 409 00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,524 Trouble at home? 410 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,235 Something like that. Mm. 411 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,695 You want to talk about it? 412 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,573 No. 413 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,742 Tell me about your fun bachelor life. 414 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,910 Well, as of last week, I officially 415 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,246 tasted every Campbell's soup. 416 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,039 (laughing): Come on, Tom. 417 00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:16,957 I'm trying to live vicariously here. 418 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,752 There's got to be something good. 419 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:21,421 Let's see, I go hunting and fishing whenever I feel like it. 420 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:22,963 Now we're getting somewhere. 421 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:26,342 -Spend my money on whatever I want. -Mm. 422 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,177 What was the last thing you got? 423 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,055 Foreman fight on pay-per-view. 424 00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:34,267 I ate a bucket of chicken and watched it in my underwear. 425 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,852 You lucky bastard. 426 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,228 Uh-huh. (chuckles) 427 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,021 What about women? 428 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,357 (sighs) Honestly... 429 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,110 it's tough to meet people at this age. 430 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,529 No, come on, charming fella like you? 431 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,614 (scoffs) 432 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:48,948 Sadly, this is the best night out 433 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,658 I've had in a long time. 434 00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,952 Yeah. Me, too. 435 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,955 But if you know anybody, send them my way. 436 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,250 (country song playing softly) 437 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,420 Yeah, I'll think about. 438 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:06,340 You ever eat chicken in your underwear? 439 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:07,425 What do you think? 440 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,552 -Yes. -Yes. 441 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,095 BOB ROSS: Making a gorgeous little mountain. 442 00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:12,722 Ooh. 443 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,808 Little stand of evergreens that lives right in here. 444 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,184 I didn't know Richard Simmons can paint. 445 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:18,937 His name's Bob Ross. 446 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,521 And he's oddly hypnotic. 447 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,022 You're gonna paint? 448 00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,483 No, I just like watching him. 449 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,318 I can't explain it, but his voice 450 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:28,028 and demeanor are comforting, like a hot beverage. 451 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:30,072 Let's get crazy and, once again, 452 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,492 just pull it out, just like we did the other one. 453 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:33,992 Yawn. 454 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:37,079 Barely touch, whisper. 455 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,039 Just whisper light. 456 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,667 Let it go. 457 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,752 Let it go, no pressure. 458 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:45,338 ADULT SHELDON: The yips are a cruel mistress. 459 00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:48,758 But thanks to a magical man with a halo of curls, 460 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:52,595 I was finally able to relax and get out of my own head. 461 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:56,683 Instead of freezing up, I thought about happy integers. 462 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:59,226 Fluffy little formulas 463 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,395 and a sweet Bessel function that just wants me 464 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:02,522 to do my very best. 465 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:03,982 Done. 466 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:05,274 Great, I can still make my doubles match. 467 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,860 Get out. 468 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,283 -(crowd groaning) -(sighs) Damn it. 469 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,536 -Hold it. Time, time, time. -UMPIRE: Time! 470 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,663 I don't know what I'm doing wrong. 471 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,498 Ah, don't worry about it. It's not your fault. 472 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,040 -It isn't? -No, I'm the one 473 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,627 that let a girl pitch. It's my mistake. 474 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:27,129 What? I've won so many games. 475 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,339 Oh, that was then. 476 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,049 Why are you being so mean? 477 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,719 Well, why are you getting so emotional, like women do? 478 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,971 Maybe you ought to be a cheerleader. 479 00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:36,723 You trying to make me mad? 480 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,474 Is it working? Yeah. 481 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:39,726 Well, I tell you what, 482 00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:41,895 picture my face in the catcher's mitt. 483 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,145 What? 484 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,522 Do I have to dumb it down for you? 485 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,649 Just do what I tell you. 486 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,317 (sighs) 487 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,905 (spectators calling out) 488 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,991 (grunts) 489 00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:57,076 -Strike! -Yes! 490 00:17:57,159 --> 00:18:00,246 Aw, don't get all hysterical, little girl! 491 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,873 You suck! 492 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:02,832 You suck! 493 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,959 No! You suck! 494 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,669 Strike! 495 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:14,928 I am the leader of the little people. irl!