[adult Sheldon] Previously on Young Sheldon…
Can we talk?
I'm pregnant.
You've got a lot going on right now.
Maybe take some time off, focus on things at home.
Hold on, are you firing her?
-[Meemaw] Hey, George. -What's up?
Georgie and I ran into a little problem at the border.
What border?
The Mexican one.
We got arrested.
-What? -Who is it?
Arrested? What do you mean arrested?
I don't know. Some problem with customs.
What were they doin' in Mexico?
-I don't know. -Why didn't they tell us they were goin'?
How many times I gotta go "I don't know"?
[sighs] All right, what do you know?
Well, they're probably gonna have to pay some fine
and they're gonna need cash.
My son is gonna be in jail overnight?
-What about your mother? -Oh, she's been there before.
Meemaw's in jail?
-Uh, no. -Forget about it.
Forget about it? Do I need to remind you I remember my birth.
[sighs] Go to your room.
[Sheldon] That was a rough day.
Rough day for me.
[theme music playing]
[officer] Wait here.
You see what I see?
-What? -An open window.
You wanna make a run for it?
You got a better plan?
Yes. You shutting up.
[door opens]
Son of a bitch. My new shirt.
If you give me some seltzer, I can get that right out.
-[shushes] -Sorry.
So, smuggling cigarettes.
Your Honor, there was no smuggling.
This is a misunderstanding.
Four hundred cartons of undeclared cigarettes?
Was that over the limit?
By 399.
I told you not to talk.
And he told you not to talk.
All right. Here's your options.
You plead not guilty, post a bond, come back here for a trial,
which you will lose, because you're guilty.
Or?
Plead guilty, pay a fine, and I never see your face again.
But we get the cigarettes back, right?
No.
How much is the fine?
Why don't we say $2,500?
Let's say $500.
This is not a negotiation.
I hear ya. $750.
We're done. Leon, get these clowns outta here!
Your Honor, please, I really need those cigarettes back.
My girlfriend's gonna have my baby
and I was gonna sell 'em to help pay for the medical expenses.
That's a touching story.
Leon!
Sorry, too much Mountain Dew.
Take 'em back to holding.
How about $1,000? And you can keep my grandson.
What is happening to our family?
I know, Georgie and Meemaw in jail…
Mom getting kicked out of the church…
Georgie havin' a baby out of wedlock.
-You know what this means, don't you? -What?
We really are white trash.
Speak for yourself. I'm in college on a full ride.
But I wish y'all luck.
I really appreciate this, Dale.
Smuggling cigarettes?
-What the hell was she thinking? -It was Georgie's idea.
Well, that makes more sense.
So, whose truck we taking?
You're comin'?
My ex-girlfriend in jail at the Mexican border? [laughs]
I got to take pictures.
All right, I'll drive.
But we got to stop and get film.
Who ya spying on?
Meemaw's house. There's a strange woman loitering on her porch.
Let me see.
-[Sheldon] Should we call the police? -Nah. She's too pretty to be a burglar.
I don't think that's how that works.
[knocking on window]
[Mandy] Connie? Are you okay?
[insects chirring]
All right. I'm coming in.
[Missy] Freeze, dirtbag!
Who are you?
No, no, we have the moral high ground here.
Yeah. Who are you?
I'm a friend of the lady that lives here, I'm worried about her.
That's no lady, that's our Meemaw.
Are you Georgie's brother and sister?
Yeah.
I'm Mandy. I'm Georgie's…
I'm Mandy.
Oh, really?
Yeah, really, and I am worried about your Meemaw.
Well, you don't have to be, she's fine.
She is?
Yes, Sheldon, she is.
So she's not in jail?
She's in jail?
Well, I thought so, but maybe not.
So why is Connie in jail?
That's family business.
Although Mandy is carrying Georgie's baby, and Georgie's also in jail, so…
Georgie's in jail?
Why are you still talking?
That is a valid question. It is past my bedtime.
Good. Go.
Nice meeting you.
So what happened?
All I know is they had a problem at the border.
Something about smuggling cigarettes.
[muttering] What an idiot.
Hey, he was just trying to make money 'cause you got pregnant!
Oh, so this is my fault?
He didn't make that baby on his own.
Oh, look, you're just a kid, okay? You don't understand what's going on here.
I know my mom lost her job and got kicked out of the church
because you won't marry my brother.
I didn't know that.
So did I win this argument?
It feels like I did.
Okay, God, we need to talk.
Are you testin' me? Is this a test? Am I Mrs. Job?
I try to be a good person,
but lately, it feels like you are smacking me down every chance you get.
And I know that that might sound ungrateful right now
as I load my new dishwasher that I love!
But can't you pick on someone else for a while?
-[Sheldon] Who are you talking to? -[gasps]
God.
To yourself, got it.
And you think, like Job, God is testing your faith?
[scoffs]
Sure would explain all the bad things that have been happenin'.
So believing in a God who's going out of his way to ruin your life
is more comforting than believing there's no God at all?
Isn't it past your bedtime?
I know, good night.
[sputters] Wait! Where's your sister?
At Meemaw's talking to Mandy.
What? Why?
Can we table this for tomorrow? I'm running on fumes.
[Dale] So instead of traveling around the country with me,
she'd rather smuggle cigarettes and rot in jail.
How's that supposed to make me feel?
I don't know, bad?
Damn right, bad. I treated that woman like a queen.
Didn't you break up with her?
[huffs] That was a bluff! I never thought she'd call it.
Well, you are comin' to her rescue, maybe this'll turn things around.
Who says I want her back?
Great, you don't want her back. Let's drop it.
I will say one thing.
I miss the sex.
Oh, God.
She is vivacious.
And not just for a woman her age.
Oh, look a hitchhiker! Let's pick him up. Maybe he'll kill me.
Do you hate Georgie?
No. No, Georgie is a good guy.
If anything, I hate myself for making bad decisions.
Like having sex before marriage?
More like having tequila before sex.
Hey, what's goin' on here?
Mandy was just telling me how she got pregnant.
No, no.
-But you said… -No.
No.
Uh, are Georgie and Connie okay?
[sighs]
Uh, I hope so. My husband just went down there to get 'em out.
Okay, that's good.
Well, I guess I'll get going.
It was nice seein' you.
I'm sorry about your troubles with the church.
What did you tell her?
Just the highlights.
Oh! I forgot. I punched out a kid in Sunday school.
You don't have to tell her all that.
Maybe she'll feel guilty and marry Georgie.
No.
How you holding up?
Not so good.
My kid ain't even born yet and I'm already a terrible father.
You're not terrible.
A terrible father would've walked away.
Thank you.
Was my dad real pissed off?
No, he was positively giddy
about havin' to drive eight hours down to the border and bail your ass out.
Your ass too.
Yeah, but I like it when he's pissed at me.
[chuckles]
This'll be a cool story to tell my kid someday.
Sure.
Ooh, you know what would be awesome?
If it's a boy we name him Winston.
You know like the cigarette?
And if it's a girl, we could name her Virginia.
Virginia Slims.
Okay.
I think that's enough of you for now.
[sighs]
Evening, Mary.
Evenin'.
How come George ain't taking out the garbage?
He's, uh…
I am perfectly capable of takin' the trash cans out.
'Of course.
You are a woman, hear you roar.
[chuckles nervously]
Hmm.
I hope we're still gonna see y'all in our church tomorrow.
Thank you, um,
I'll think about it.
How's Georgie and his, uh, young lady friend?
Great, they're great.
Has anything changed vis-à-vis their nuptials?
Nope. Baby's gonna be a bastard. That's what you're implying, isn't it?
[splutters]
Not a word I like to use,
but most important, a happy, healthy…
Bastard.
What you said.
Good night, Pastor.
God bless.
[tapping]
-Yeah? -I can't sleep.
Me neither. This whole Mandy thing is a mess.
If you mean the nomenclature, I agree.
[Missy] Norman who?
Nomenclature, the system of devising or choosing names of things.
For example, if Mandy and Georgie were married,
she'd be our sister-in-law.
But they're not.
Exactly. So we need a term for the unmarried mother
of our future niece or nephew.
How 'bout Mandy?
Follow me, if we knew the sex of the baby and it was a boy,
I was thinking we'd call Mandy "nephewterus"
because she'd be having a nephew in her uterus.
However, "nieceuterus" just doesn't hit the ear right.
I still think Mandy works.
Now there is a gender-neutral term coined by linguist Samuel Martin
in the 1950s, which takes the "n" from niece or nephew
with "sibling" to get "nibling."
So she'd be our nibling?
No, the baby's the nibling.
Mandy would be either the "niblingess" the "niblinger"
or in a swerve from our traditional German suffixes, "niblingo."
-That one. -Oh, yeah. That one's the winner.
[adult Sheldon] Sadly, "niblingo" never quite caught on.
But that doesn't stop me from using it in Scrabble.
[Dale] This is gonna be my Christmas card.
What the hell?
What're you doin' here?
I'm saving you.
You thought I got that kinda cash lyin' around?
He doesn't, that's why I'm saving you.
Well, damn.
Georgie, come on.
Five more minutes.
Now!
Okay, okay.
Fine's paid, let's go.
I'm really sorry about this, Dad.
We'll talk about it in the car.
Hey, it's just you and me.
Great.
Yeah, it is, 'cause I'm saving you.
I know I messed up.
Mmm-hmm.
-And I'm gonna pay you back, every penny. -Mmm-hmm.
You get that I was doin' this for the baby, right?
I do.
Which when you think about it, could be a reason to be proud of me.
Take some time, think about it.
When I get the pictures developed, you want copies?
No.
Jail's made you cranky.
Still haven't heard a thank you.
Thank you.
Those are the words,
but just not feeling it.
I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm embarrassed.
Could we just please not?
Sorry.
Did you have to join any gangs when you were in there?
[snickers]
Can I ask ya somethin'?
What?
Were you scared when Mom got pregnant with me?
I was terrified.
Huh.
Why? You scared?
-Yeah. -Good, you'd be a fool if you weren't.
I don't know what I'm doin'. I don't know what's expected of me.
At least you and Mom got married and were a team.
Yeah, you got it rougher than me.
Does it ever stop bein' scary?
I got a call from the border that my son was in jail,
what do you think?
Fair point. Sorry.
It's not all scary, there's fun parts.
Like what?
We went to the beach once. That wasn't bad.
Well regardless, it's happenin'. I'm gonna be a dad.
Yes, you are.
I hope I'm as good a dad as you are.
Don't try to butter me up.
-You saw that, huh? -Yeah, I saw it.
Boy, you are smart.
Just to be clear, I'm gonna pay you back every cent.
Ah! Don't worry about it.
I am worryin' about it.
Well, think of the money as a gift…
that I'm gonna be holding over your head.
Well, that doesn't work for me.
How 'bout…
when we get home,
I make it up to you?
Now hold on. You wanna… You wanna wipe out a $2,500 debt
with one roll in the hay?
Are you sayin' I'm not worth it?
-I'm sayin' it's a lot of money. -Never mind, offer's off the table.
No, no, no. Wait a minute. Hang on.
Too late. Too late.
Hey, I was thinking a fair price would be $500 a roll.
Well, isn't that what a girl wants to hear.
Seemed fair to me.
Do you think Georgie got a tattoo in jail?
-No. -Do you think Meemaw did?
Probably.
Are we goin' to church?
I'm goin'.
After everything that happened? Isn't that weird?
It doesn't matter. I need to.
I'll go with you.
You don't have to.
I want to.
What?
[indistinct chattering]
This isn't where we sit.
It's all right.
All right. This is nowhere near the acoustic sweet spot.
Just shush.
And I'm sitting behind what may be the largest man in Texas.
[both shushing]
Dear friends, let us love one another.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
It means that we are responsible
for sharing that love with all those around us.
Now let's join hands and pray.
Dear heavenly Father, thank you for gathering us here today
to join together in worship.
I've had enough. Let's go.
-You sure? -Yes.
[Pastor Jeff] Please give us the strength to reflect your abundant love
out into the world.
Thank you for bringing us here today, to join together in worship.
Excuse me.
Am I the only one struck by the incredible hypocrisy of this sermon?
You go on and on about loving one another and how God is love.
But not when it comes to my mother and our family. And why?
Because my brother impregnated a woman 11 years older than him.
Which one could argue was an act of love.
-Sheldon! -At least on his part.
She doesn't seem to care for him.
Also, earlier you said "Nebah-kuh nezzar."
In Hebrew it'd be pronounced "Neboo-chahd-netzer."
In the back of the throat. [throatily] Cha, cha.
-Sheldon! -Bye!
Or in Hebrew, shalom. Which also means hello. And peace.
-[pronouncing] Cha! Cha. -[sighs]
[door opens]
How's Mom?
Pretty upset.
Even after that excellent speech I made?
For once I don't think you're the problem.
-Good for me. -[doorbell rings]
I'm reading.
[sighs]
Hi, there, Missy.
[sighs] May I help you?
[clears throat] I was hoping to talk to your mom. She around?
I'm not sure. Let me see if she's available.
What's goin' on?
She's available.
Hello.
Mary, I am so sorry about today.
I understand why you're upset, but the church is still your family.
I'd just hate to see you walk away from the Lord.
[sighs] Feels like He's walkin' away from me.
[theme music playing] s walkin' away from me.