[Meemaw] Previously on Young Sheldon…
Sounds like I'm done here.
Probably that coach from Carthage.
Actually, I got offered the job.
-Wayne. -Good morning, George.
-I quit. -Come on.
Is there a chance I keep my job?
No.
Then at least let me leave on my own terms.
All right.
Ah! Almost there.
I don't know.
The last surprise you got me is pressing on my bladder.
Surprise!
You got me an ugly car?
No, I bought me a family car.
What about your Mustang?
I traded it in.
-For this? -That's what the guy at the lot said.
But you love that Mustang.
Yeah, but there was no way I'd get a baby seat in it.
Well, that's very thoughtful.
And these things are real safe, too. My mom has one.
When I was little, she hit a truck.
I didn't even wake up.
Is this a bad time to tell you I only liked you for your cool car?
You say that now,
but wait till you see how many groceries we can get in the back.
I can't believe you did this.
It was a no-brainer.
I wanna keep our kid safe.
Thank you.
-Hmm. That was interesting. -Oh, grow up.
Grow up? I just bought a car that seats 25.
[theme song playing]
It's so nice that you're joining us for dinner.
Please don't make a big deal out of it.
I just said it was nice.
You said "so nice." I'm sorry.
It's fine.
Niblingo, I have a question.
-Niblingo? -He made it up.
I coined it. There was no word
to denote the mother of our niece or nephew.
Sheldon, that sounds rude.
Do you have a better word for the unmarried mother?
I'm not sure we need one.
I think it's sweet.
Kind of. Uh, what's your question?
Thanks, Niblingo.
I've heard pregnant women eat for two.
Does that mean you need two full-size portions?
-I guess dad's pregnant, then. -One portion should be fine,
since the baby's the size of a golf ball.
According to my calculations, the baby's the size of a bell pepper.
I could be off. When was your last menstruation?
You don't need to answer.
-I was not going to. -I'm real sorry about them.
What? I didn't say anything wrong?
Neither did I.
You were being overly nice.
It made everybody uncomfortable.
[telephone ringing]
Who's calling during dinner?
You know, twins run in our family.
It's not twins.
That's too bad. It'd double your chances of having a remarkable child.
-Like me. -Or a child people like.
Just eat your dinner.
Are you going to find out the sex?
-Yes. -No.
No?
I want to be surprised.
I don't like surprises.
What about the baby shower?
People will wanna know.
Oh, yeah. We've got to have a baby shower.
Remind me what a baby shower is.
I gotta go.
Everything okay?
That was Petersen. Something's up with Wayne.
-What's happening? -I don't know.
It doesn't sound good.
Did you know the baby shower has history going back
to ancient Egyptian and Greek civilizations?
Remarkable.
-What's going on? -I don't know.
He didn't go to work. I heard he's here.
What's that about?
[knocking on door]
[Coach Wilkins] Go away.
Wayne, it's George. Open up.
[Coach Wilkins] I said go away.
You don't let us in,
Tom says he's gonna knock the door down.
Why you gotta--
Want a drink?
I got vodka and root beer.
Ugh.
Wayne, what's going on?
My life is a lie.
-Gay? -We're going to need more than that.
My marriage, my beautiful marriage.
It's over.
You and Darlene? No.
You two are the happiest couple I know.
I mean, whatever's going on, it'll blow over.
She's cheating on me.
Are you sure? Oh, man.
-I'm sorry, that's terrible. -With my best friend.
That's even more terrible.
She was my world.
There's no reason to throw in the towel.
You can still get her back.
She's having his baby.
Well… Say something.
What do you say to that?
You really never suspected anything?
That's what you say?
You had nothing.
Wayne, buddy, uh…
I know it seems bad now, which it is.
Which is why it seems that way.
-Oh, my God. -Just… Just leave me alone.
Y'all can't fix this.
-What do you wanna do? -Well, I don't know.
-We can't leave him. -Let's take him to your place.
-I can't do that. -Why not?
If I took in every teacher with problems,
my apartment would look like a firehouse.
Fine.
Wayne, grab your pants. You're coming with me.
I don't want to be around your happy family.
Happy? A couple days with us and you'll be glad that kid ain't yours.
Let's go. Pants.
Thanks again. That was fun.
Really? Dinner with my family?
My family won't talk to me at all,
so I'll take "Niblingo" and a home-cooked meal any day.
Well, you're always welcome.
I think there's ice cream in the freezer if you want to come in.
I mean, I'm going to eat it, but you can watch.
Thanks, but I got to get to work.
It's a laundromat. Doesn't it run on its own?
[machines beeping and chiming]
You'd think that, but there's a lot of technical issues. Lint and such.
-Okay. Good night. -Good night.
Look at me.
Just chipping away at the ice.
[snoring]
Well, this is a wrinkle.
-Missy. Missy. -[Missy, sleepily] What?
An issue of social protocol has arisen. I need your input.
[whispering] What's he doing here?
I don't know.
But would it be rude if I watch television?
[Missy] Mom.
-Mom. -What?
Why is Coach Wilkins asleep on the couch?
No, the question is, can I watch TV with Coach Wilkins asleep on the couch?
-It's an important difference. -[George] Get out.
Hey, Tom.
How's he doing?
Still sleeping it off.
Mmm-hmm.
-Morning, Tom. -Mary.
I just can't believe Darlene would do that to him.
Yeah, just…
right before the big game Friday night.
You think he can pull himself together?
How would I know?
Really? A man's life is coming apart and you're worried about a game?
Well, yeah.
Can we take this outside?
Do you mind?
I don't mind. Do you mind?
I don't mind.
We don't mind.
[sighs] Listen, George, I really need your help here.
What do you expect me to do?
I don't know. Get him coaching again.
You gave him my job.
This is your problem.
-You quit. -You were gonna fire me.
But you quit first.
Can we please just focus on Wayne?
I'm begging you, George.
You know what a big deal this game is.
Don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do, but okay.
-Thank you. I owe you one. -I'm not doing this for you.
I'm doing it for the kids.
-What about Wayne? -What about him?
And Wayne.
I had Georgie go get your car from the motel.
Thanks.
Trust me, going back to work is just what you need.
The one thing you gotta remember…
This story ain't over.
We don't know how it's gonna end.
The only person that can decide that is you.
You are the hero of your story.
You take the action, you call the shots, you decide your destiny.
That's the same speech you gave at halftime
when we were getting our nuts crushed by Nacogdoches.
You remember what happened? We came back and won.
After their quarterback dislocated his shoulder.
You're not even trying, Wayne.
I am. You're not.
Miss McCallister.
We don't have insurance information on file for you.
That's all right. We're paying in cash.
-Cash? -In God we trust.
You always carry that much cash around?
Do you think there's just boobs in this bra? [chuckles]
No. I mean, why?
[machines beeping and chiming]
Well, the laundromat's a cash business.
That's mostly quarters, though, isn't it?
Uh, yeah. But, well, now we've got the video store and I'm not real big on banks.
Because you lived through the Depression.
Yeah. [laughs]
All right, everyone, pencils out, books away.
Let's get ready to take this test.
Ms. Wilkins, are you sure you want us to take this test today?
Why wouldn't I?
Well, you know…
with what you're going through.
Okay, we got your playbook.
Got your practice plan.
You are ready to coach some kickass football.
Thanks, George.
I really appreciate everything you've done for me.
Coming back to work was just what I needed.
-[telephone ringing] -Happy to help.
Coach Wilkins.
[Darlene] What the hell did you tell Missy Cooper?
I'll give you some privacy.
Over in this aisle, we've got your new releases.
Here are your action adventures, your Stallones, your Schwarzeneggers,
your Van Dammes, and of course, we have a whole row of chick flicks.
Known in the movie biz as rom-coms.
-"Do not enter." What's back there? -Oh, that? That's just some storage
and a bunch of machines that rewind the tapes
when people are not kind and don't rewind.
Very cool.
Hey, if you ever need help
behind the cash register, I'd rather work here
than be on my feet at the diner.
No, no.
You don't want to do that.
You're a good waitress.
It'd be a waste of your talent.
-Hey, Georgie. -Oh, Officer Rutledge.
Congratulations on your expanding business empire.
Thank you. Very kind.
-Hey there, Jake. -Hey, Connie.
I was just telling your grandson here how much I love the new place.
Mandy, let me show you the kids' section.
Got all the Looney Tunes,
Flintstones, Fraggle Rock…
[Meemaw] It's a business opportunity.
What's going on?
Nothing, just figured we're having a kid,
we should be familiar with the genre.
Well, thanks for dropping by.
We need to renegotiate our arrangement.
We will talk about that soon.
Meanwhile, have some Red Vines. Show of good faith.
You wouldn't think it about Jake, but he just loves a foreign film.
Just stop it, okay?
I know what's going on.
-You do? -That creepy cop, that trip to Mexico,
all that cash in your bra.
Y'all are selling drugs.
We're not selling drugs.
So there's nothing weird going on back there?
Well, I didn't say that.
Let's take a walk.
Try and keep an open mind.
[machines beeping and chiming]
-Oh, my God. -See? Not drugs.
And that is the sound of a 22-percent house advantage.
Is it legal?
-No. -Yes.
-Kinda. -Yeah, kind of.
The police are in on it?
-A little bit, yeah. -Silent partner, as they said.
I know it's a lot.
-It's amazing. -It is?
My kid's going to private school.
You're going to private school.
[squeals]
All right, everybody.
Great practice.
Let's gather around, take a knee.
All right, Coach. They're all yours.
Thank you, George.
Look at you guys.
Young, strong, all your hopes and dreams in front of you.
None of you have any idea what's out there waiting for you.
-Wayne, where you going with this? -A team requires trust.
Sure, you can count on your teammates when the ball is snapped.
But can you when they're away
at a teachers' conference with the woman you would spend your life with?
Hmm?
Okay. "Team" on three.
I will not submit to the procedure, sir.
That's Commander Data.
He's an android but he aspires to be human,
which is a step in the wrong direction.
[Picard] I understand your objection.
I don't know how he can coach that game on Friday.
Poor man.
Can you believe his marriage falling apart?
I know. If it was gonna happen to anybody,
-you'd think it'd be us. -Ain't that the truth.
[Data] Sir…
Saw your wife today.
-I heard. -You're smart to stay here.
She seems pretty mad.
Wayne, we got the ball. What do you wanna do?
Kill myself?
Come on, buddy. Help me out here.
I can't, George.
I just can't.
Okay. All right.
Stevens, come on. All right, listen up.
We're going to run the ball the rest of the game, okay?
Two hands. Nothing fancy.
All right? Let them pass, let them turn it over.
-Okay. -All right? Go.
I brought pizza home.
-Come on. -Can't.
-Sheldon, there ain't no leaks. -There might be.
I can't risk it.
Want me to bring you a slice?
What about crumbs? Crumbs attract bugs.
Bugs bring disease.
[sighs] Give me the bucket. I'll watch for leaks.
-Really? -Yeah.
Okay.
But keep an eye on the computer.
That's the heart of my operation.
Got it.
-And the train set. -Go eat.
Sheldon, where's your brother?
He's in my room. Don't distract him.
-Hey. -Hey.
What are you doing?
-I'm on leak patrol. -What?
I'm babysitting. It's how I can get him to eat.
What's up?
[sighs] I just wanted to thank you for how wonderful you've been.
Good, you noticed.
-I noticed. -Status report?
-Dry as a bone. -So I can have another slice?
-Go nuts. -Copy.
If our kid's weird, I'm ready.
[whistle blows]
[announcer] Final score, Medford 6, Tyler zero.
George.
-Congratulations. -Thanks, Tom.
Feel like doing this again next week?
What are you saying?
I'm saying you got your job back.
-If you want it. -What about Wayne?
What about him?
He's got to be part of the deal.
Don't you have enough to worry about?
He's my friend.
If I want him out of my house, he needs a job.
Your call.
Thanks, Tom.
You bet.
Hey!
-What… -That's for firing me.
You quit!
[Meemaw] Good morning.
[Mandy] Oh!
-You're up early. -You were out late.
-Uh, yeah, I was just-- -I know where you were.
Okay, do we need to talk about this?
I'm happy to just enjoy the awkwardness.
Great. Well, I'm gonna go.
And I'm gonna watch you.
[theme music playing] u.