[Mary] Previously on Young Sheldon…
We are at capacity.
-It's time to expand. -Where?
The video store right behind that wall just lost its lease.
So there's nothing weird going on back there?
Oh, my God.
Is it legal?
-No. -Yes.
Too bad there's not a comic book database
I can search and find what I'm looking for.
Well, CERN has something similar.
You can search a database of scientific papers.
But there's no database for comic books.
You should make one. Somewhere else.
Could it be used to catalog other things?
Yes, the applications are endless.
Ooh. There could be ones for scientific grants.
Finding grants is such a time-consuming process.
If there was a centralized database,
it would change the research landscape entirely.
See what this could do for the scientific community?
We could charge an access fee to every university on the planet,
and I can retire on a yacht in the Bahamas.
-You're missing the point. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, good for science. I love it.
[adult Sheldon] People say French is the language of love.
But for me, nothing is sweeter than the exhilarating sounds of legalese.
Ooh la la.
The same could not be said for my parents.
Uh, which one are we?
The… The party of the first part or the party of the second part?
[chuckles] The first part.
But either way, it's a party.
Speaking of which, can I get you a beer?
You… You're a Lone Star man, right?
-Matter of fact, I am. -George.
She offered. I don't wanna be rude.
-It's 11:00 a.m. -Well, you just let me know.
I can get you anything you want.
-We're fine. Thank you. -[exhales]
So you really think this invention of Sheldon's could be worth something?
Oh, who knows? Most of the time, these things don't pan out.
Um, it could be something, probably nothing.
Uh, that's just a formality.
But you said my grant database would make the university "boatloads of money."
Well, that doesn't mean anything. Boats can be small.
[chuckles] Ever hear of a canoe?
Anyway, who needs a pen?
What's this about the university owning 90%
and Sheldon only owning 10?
Oh, that's just standard boilerplate.
Did you know boilerplate originally referred to the role of steel
used as a template to create steam boilers,
but then was adapted to the legal profession
to describe the way companies use fine print to get around the law.
Ah, that fact is just so fun.
You see, it is a party. And what's a party without Yoo-hoo?
[chuckles] Can I get you a cold one?
Yes, please.
No. We wanna make sure that Sheldon is being treated fairly.
Yeah, maybe we should get our own lawyer
to take a look at this before we sign anything.
Can we afford a lawyer?
Okay. We… We're gonna need some time and get back to you.
Of course. You take all the time you need.
You know, just because of all the nice things we've done
for your son and for your family…
no need to start trusting us now.
She took that better than I thought.
[theme song playing]
[slot machines beeping]
Dang it. Busy in here for a weekday.
Social Security checks landed.
Hmm. Getting paid just to be old. Must be nice.
I ain't complaining.
Listen, this cash box is full.
Take some of this up and stick it in the register in the video store.
You got it.
And don't be flirting with Mandy. I need help back here.
Okay, but she might flirt with me. This shirt really brings out my eyes.
How's it going? Figure everything out?
People give me money, I give the movies. I think I got it.
Smart, pregnant, you're the whole package.
I'd like to return this movie.
Okay. Thank you. Come again.
I can't believe you would rent this filth.
It's not filth. It's Basic Instinct.
Well, my husband was watching it,
and there was a woman in there who showed her hoo-ha.
Yeah, she does.
Come on. I mean, you don't see the whole thing.
At most, you see a hoo.
And if you see the hoo, the ha is right there.
Whatever it was, it's sinful.
Why don't you pick out something else? On the house.
I don't know why you carry something like this.
-People like it. -I've seen it three times.
Do you really wanna bring your baby into a world
where this is considered entertainment?
Lady, why don't you let me worry about my baby,
and you worry about what your husband's watching.
Easy, she's still a customer.
Not anymore.
And I'm gonna tell my prayer group not to come here either.
[scoffs] Okay, you do that.
We have family entertainment as well.
Sound of Music. No one shows nothing.
[door slams]
Three times. Really?
I'm 17.
Well, I don't know. You're the lawyer.
You know, if this invention is big, Mama wants a taste.
President Hagemeyer, a word.
Here's a word, out.
I understand you're moving forward with Sheldon's grant database.
I was an intrinsic part of that.
Hmm, Sheldon didn't mention you.
Of course, he didn't. That pint-sized little credit hog.
Do I need to redo these contracts?
-You betcha. -All right, just hold on.
Uh, this is good for the university.
This isn't about everybody getting a piece of the pie.
Oh, really? In that contract, does she get a piece of the pie?
-Uh-- -Don't answer that.
Attorney-client whatever.
Uh, technically, my services are paid for by the--
Shut up, Ken.
Linda, be reasonable.
I am.
After all the Sheldon I put up with, I deserve this.
You deserve this? My office is basically his clubhouse.
Okay. I tell you what I'll do.
If Sheldon's okay with it, you're welcome to part of his cut.
That's not you doing anything.
Hi there, Connie.
Pastor Jeff, what can I do for you?
I was hoping we could chat about your video store.
What about it?
I'm just so glad it's in the hands of a good Christian woman.
Where you headed here, Padre?
[clears throat] Well, some of my flock have concerns about the movies y'all rent.
You know, the ones with the sexual content and whatnot.
If they don't wanna see whatnot, then they shouldn't rent whatnot.
I hear you. God gave us free will.
But you're renting temptation. And you know who tempts us?
The devil.
So that's who's making me wanna slam this door in your face.
I'm just here to give you a heads-up.
People are upset, and I'd hate to see your business suffer.
Are you threatening me?
No, uh, I'm sorry.
Uh, let me just take off my pastor hat,
put on my neighbor cap, and start again.
I'm gonna put on my hat too.
It's got a big foam finger on top of it.
Guess which one.
-The naughty one? -Bingo.
Mr. Vance, thank you for taking the time to see us.
Oh, no problem.
You know, I don't ordinarily handle intellectual property contracts.
I'm more of a slip and fall guy.
I have seen your face on those park bench ads.
[chuckles] You fall in the park, this is the first thing you see.
So, as I said on the phone,
our son invented something that his university's interested in,
but we feel they might be trying to keep the lion's share for themselves.
You really think it's gonna be worth something?
Yeah, university seems to think so. They want 90% of it.
Oh, is that so?
What's the invention?
We don't really understand it.
Oh, you know, it's a computer… thing.
Ah, adding machine and carbon paper got me this far.
[both chuckle]
What… What… What am I smelling?
Beef and broccoli.
Chinese place downstairs.
Ooh. Do they have good chop suey? I can never find good--
-George. -You were saying?
Sheldon, we need to talk.
You should keep your voice down. This is a library.
Do you remember when we came up with the idea for that grant database?
I remember when I came up with the idea.
-In my office. -In my brain.
Which was in my office.
And as you recall, I was the one who suggested you build a database.
No, you suggested I build a comic book database.
Which was the underlying idea.
Fire is the underlying idea for the nuclear power plant,
and no one credits the caveman.
Son, and I call you son because I think of you as family…
is this the way you would treat your own family?
Not my mom. Everyone else is on their own.
[Pastor Jeff] Thank you for saying no to sin.
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
What are you doing?
We're just asking people to sign our petition
if they agree that sin has no place in cinema.
-[scoffs] Clever. -Thanks.
And God doesn't want us seeing people's private parts.
Didn't he make people's private parts?
He did, and then he made clothes to cover them right up.
You are scaring away my customers.
You know what's scarier? Hell.
Look, you can't just sit here in front of my store.
Freedom of speech. We're allowed.
And we're allowed to rent whatever movies we want.
-People can choose for themselves. -They sure can.
If you love God and hate the devil, sign here.
Where is your halo? Because you are an angel.
Let's just see what the people think about this.
[whooshes]
Yeah.
What are you doing? We just finally got those killjoys out of here.
Yeah, it was amazing.
Have you two lost your minds?
We do not need this kind of attention.
Attention's good.
Like free advertising.
We're running an illegal gambling room in the back.
-Oh, that will be fine. -For you.
If we get arrested, y'all go to lady jail. I have to go to scary jail.
I'm too pretty for scary jail.
No more prison movies for you.
So you're saying we should just give in
after what that holy rolling Muppet has done to your whole family?
He does look like a Muppet.
All I'm saying is we need to remember where the real money's coming from.
If we want it to keep coming, you gotta back off.
Okay, fine. I'll behave.
When did you start to be the responsible one?
Hey, I don't like it either.
Mmm.
Ah, just the young genius I was hoping to see.
Uh, look, I've heard from your parents' lawyer,
and I'm a little concerned
that this whole thing is getting out of hand.
How so?
Well, you know, lawyers get involved, and everything slows down, and…
Well, I'm just worried that someone else might come up
with the same idea in the meantime.
I didn't think of that. We should get started.
I agree, but, well, you can't get started until the paperwork is signed.
Ugh. Those darn lawyers.
How can we fix this?
Hmm.
Well, I guess if you could, well, convince your parents
to sign, then we could get rolling.
And to make it worth your while…
how about we put your name on one of these buildings?
How would you feel about Sheldon Cooper Science Center?
I'm sorry, did you say Sheldon Cooper Science Center
or Sheldon Cooper's Science Center?
Well, which do you like?
I prefer the possessive. It makes it much more mine.
Then Sheldon Cooper's Science Center it is.
[chuckles] So do we have a deal?
-Okay. -Excellent.
Now get out of here before I pinch those cheeks.
[sighs]
[knock on door]
I will remind you my wife is a police officer.
I've just come with a little peace offering.
My last copy of Basic Instinct.
So there you go.
No more naked ladies,
no more Michael Douglas's bare butt giving me impure thoughts.
The town is safe again.
Well, thank you for seeing reason.
Well, what kind of good Christian woman would I be if I didn't?
So we square?
It's not about you and me being square, Connie.
It's about you and El Jefe Grande.
Mmm-hmm.
Well, goodbye.
I'd be happy to come down and let you know what other movies are objectionable
so we don't have another situation on our hands.
You want to take more movies out of my store?
Again, not me.
But there's a guy with a thumb a lot bigger than Siskel or Ebert's.
Sheldon, thank you for coming in.
I wanna apologize for our little tiff earlier.
You're forgiven.
Oh, great.
I found something that might be of interest to you.
An authentic signature from Richard Feynman.
Where did you get this?
Details aren't important.
-Is this a restraining order? -Not important.
That's a really good way to get autographs. I'll keep that in mind.
Well, it's yours, from one scientist to another.
And that's my point, really.
-You and I, we need to stick together. -Why?
Because this university is filled with people who want to exploit our ideas.
That's not my experience.
President Hagemeyer just offered me my own building.
You're being manipulated. You don't even know it.
Sheldon, I've seen this a thousand times.
A brilliant young mind like yours taken advantage of.
-But isn't that what you're trying to do? -Absolutely not.
President Hagemeyer's was a bribe.
That is a gift from one peer to another.
[chuckles] So what do you say?
Are you a scientist or are you a pawn of the administration?
-A scientist. -Yes, you are. [chuckles]
So we have a deal?
-Okay. -[chuckles]
I'd like to order five more copies of Basic Instinct
and a couple more of Fatal Attraction.
-Is there anything else? -Ooh.
Get a Last Temptation of Christ. That will really piss people off.
And a copy of The Last Temptation of Christ
to really piss people off.
Thank you.
What are y'all doing?
Well, I tried to be nice, but he kept pushing.
Yeah. So now we're pushing back.
Why do you care?
Because I don't like anybody telling me how to run my business, especially him.
This is not your business.
That room back there with the shady piles of money,
that's your business, your secret illegal business.
So, what, are we just supposed to become a Christian video store now?
-You know what? In this town-- -No. I am not gonna let that man win.
Hi, I'm with Channel 7 news.
Can I help you?
A local pastor has put together a petition of citizens
concerned about the vulgar content of your video store.
Would you care to comment?
Damn straight I would. I want him to know--
-Give that. -No, give me that. I want…
I can assure you there's nothing immoral or indecent going on here.
-So we were talking to the lawyer. -Here comes the divorce.
-We are not getting divorced. -Then why do we have a lawyer?
Sheldon invented something that the university's interested in,
and it could be worth some money.
You always were my favorite brother.
You licked your finger and put in my ear.
That means I like you.
Anyway, the lawyer wants to sit down with you
before he gets into it with the university.
I don't know. I hear lawyers slow things down.
What?
Shelly, this is for your future.
We're just trying to make sure that you're taken care of.
I don't care about money.
Well, someday you might when you have your own wife and kids.
I don't see that happening.
No one sees that happening, and I say that with love.
Sheldon, this is important to all of us.
You gotta think about your family.
Shelly, he's right.
Did you put extra hot dogs in the spaghetti?
I did.
Okay, I'll talk with the lawyer.
[whispers] You're good.
Oh, I… I'm so glad that we could all sit down together.
And I have a feeling we are gonna come to a quick agreement.
I have a feeling we are.
-So I've redrawn the contract-- -Sorry, we're late.
What are you doing here? And who is he?
-I'm his cousin. -And lawyer.
[sighs] Really, Grant?
-Yeah, really. -Let me talk for you.
-Yeah, really. -Okay, fine, fine. Stay.
It really doesn't make any difference because Sheldon agrees
that this is in the best interests of everyone.
-You said that? -Yes.
-Hold on, Sheldon told me-- -Grant.
[whispers]
Sheldon informed my client that their interests were aligned.
You told him that?
Yes.
You told me he was on our side.
-Didn't you tell them that? -Yes.
Which is it, Sheldon?
Yes, Sheldon. Whose side are you on?
Shelly?
I don't know, and I don't care. I just wanna build the database.
Why can't this just be about the science?
Why are you making it all about the money?
This was supposed to be exciting, and you're ruining it.
I'm telling you, I can do it on my own.
Shelly.
-I don't wanna be in the middle anymore. -I know. I…
[sighs] I came out to apologize.
We've made that all about us, and it should be about what you want.
Thanks.
So…
why don't you take a little time
and figure out what's gonna make you happy?
I will.
-Okay, I did. -Oh.
All right. Well, what did you decide?
I'm cutting everybody out and doing this myself.
-What? -I don't need the university.
And I don't need Dr Linkletter.
How are you gonna pay for all this?
I'll find private investors.
They can pay for it on the condition I'm left alone.
Are you sure you don't wanna think about this a little more?
Perhaps you're right.
Done. I'm good.
Where are you going?
My dorm. I have some calls to make. Love you.
Love you too.
Don't you have Die Hard?
-Not anymore. -Why?
It had that bad word in it.
What?
Yippee-ki-ya, et cetera.
This store sucks.
We know.
-Maybe you'd like The Singing Nun. -Nope.
Has anybody ever rented The Singing Nun?
-Just Pastor Jeff. -That figures.
Wait a minute.
You can see all the movies that Pastor Jeff ever rented.
You can see any movie everyone's rented.
Well, let's just see if he's as pious as he pretends to be.
Let's find out. [grunts]
Jesus Christ Superstar.
Jesus of Nazareth.
The Blood of Jesus.
Good Lord. How many Jesus movies are there?
Oh. What about his wife?
-Oh. Mmm. Show me. Show me. -Mmm.
Hello, Pastor Jeff.
Hey there, Connie. What brings you by?
I just wanted to drop off a little gift.
Dirty Dancing?
I think you know how I feel about this movie.
I do.
I also know how your wife feels about it.
-What? -She's rented it five times.
That's a lot of shirtless Patrick Swayze.
Must be some mistake.
There isn't. Shall we talk about Fatal Attraction?
-Do we have to? -Six times.
Are you blackmailing me?
-Yeah. -Well, it's not going to work.
I'm a man of principles, and I stand by them.
And I respect that.
So let's talk about what your church elders are renting.
Oh, come on.
-Wanna know? -Is it bad?
It's Porky's bad.
Oh.
How are your principles feeling now?
[adult Sheldon] I'm going to end this story
so you don't have to see a grown man beg for mercy.
Connie, please.
[theme music playing] ee a grown man beg for mercy.