[pleasant music playing]
[adult Sheldon] I didn't care for Life.
[all cheering]
Marriage, children, careers, houses.
What kind of life is that?
In my game, the milestones are papers published,
degrees earned, Nobel Prizes won.
And in my version, I am dominating.
But you knew that.
Oh, and instead of cars, you'd ride around in a train.
-[train horn blows] -Why aren't they making this?
-Yes! -Hello, Sam.
You seem agitated.
I just got accepted into my summer program.
Oh, summer school.
I didn't realize you were struggling, but way to not give up.
No, it's at Columbia.
This'll look good on my grad school application.
Grad school? Those are a year away.
You have to start early. It's so competitive these days.
I think I'll be fine.
Where are you hoping to go?
Caltech.
Sheldon, that's one of the toughest programs to get into.
I know. They deserve the best.
If I were you, I would start building up my resume.
My resume is pretty good.
4.0, child prodigy, beloved wherever I go.
Are you on any published papers?
-No. -Have you presented at any conferences?
No.
Have you been involved in any outside projects?
I developed a grant research database.
That's something.
It failed spectacularly.
Well, hey, at least you're beloved.
[train whistle blowing]
[theme song playing]
[on TV] Hope y'all enjoyed the sunny skies
because we have some weather headed our way.
You want some?
No, I'm good.
-Sure? -[Mandy] Yeah,
I slept almost four hours. I feel like a tiger.
Good for you.
Brushed my hair, I brushed my teeth. I may even go outside today.
…with an 80% chance of rain.
-Never mind. -Probably from all
these clouds over here…
[Meemaw] Who is this guy?
Where's perky Heather with today's weather?
I don't know. I think the sports guy's filling in.
This storm is just gonna make a full-court press.
And just run right on past Houston,
right on past Lufkin, all the way over to Medford over here.
He ain't even pointing at Medford.
That's a drive that Jack Nicklaus would be proud of right there.
I used to do that job. You know, it's not as easy as you think.
You gotta look forward, but point backward, while reading the script.
All with sunshine in your voice.
I could actually hear the sunshine in your voice.
Thanks.
[CeeCee crying]
Now back to CeeCee in the nursery with screaming.
-Ugh. -[on TV] And that's the weather.
-You're late. -Sorry. I ran into Sam.
Bright Girl. She's going places.
Specifically to the physics department at Columbia.
Oh, she got in. Fantastic.
I know she was hoping to spice up her applications.
I like to think that I'm all the spice my applications will need.
You're not.
-What are you saying? -Actually, uh…
Should I be trying to beef up my grad school applications?
The competition is fierce. It takes a lot to stand out.
You're my advisers. Why didn't you advise me of this?
Sheldon, if I could offer you some advice--
No, thank you.
Sheldon, I have a recommendation for you.
I have one for you. Trim your nose hair.
Do you remember that?
I do. It looked like a spider was living up there.
Hey.
Hey. What are you doing here?
I'm just looking for some of my old videotapes.
Oh, cool.
You didn't find one of my tapes, did you?
-What are your tapes? -Nothing.
Well, mine are from when I was a weather girl.
What do you need 'em for?
Local station's looking. I'm gonna apply.
But you're a mom now.
Yeah, so?
Don't you kind of have your hands full with CeeCee?
There's a lot of family around to help.
I know but--
I was always gonna go back to work.
If it's about money, we're good.
You live in a garage.
It ain't a garage if there's no car.
Yeah, it is.
And it's not about money, it's about my life. I want a career.
Well, I happen to think motherhood is a career.
Hmm.
What about fatherhood?
You have a job.
-That's different. -Why?
Because… There's lots of reasons.
So, you just get to have a job and a life,
and I have to stay with the baby?
Or I have to have a job,
and you get to stay home with the baby.
It's all about perspective.
Yes. Is this the Columbia summer science honors program?
Excellent. My name is Sheldon Cooper.
Perhaps you've heard of me.
Well, now you have.
Anyways, it's recently come to my attention
that you could be important in my career advancement.
So, good news. I'm available.
I understand I've missed the deadline,
but I'm sure you can make an exception.
But I'm Sheldon Cooper.
Doctors Linkletter and Sturgis were aware
that I should have been focusing on my applications.
And they didn't say anything to you?
They did. But I don't come off well in that story.
Shelly, how bad could it be?
You started college when you were 11.
It was impressive when I was little and cute,
but now that I'm old and cute, it's not the same thing.
Well, just 'cause you look older, doesn't mean you're any less special.
Of course. It's your fault.
What?
You've been saying I'm special all my life,
so I expect the world to cater to me,
instead of taking initiative.
But you are special, sweetie.
You just can't turn it off.
She's changed and napping.
You washed your hands?
Shelly, you want some mashed potatoes?
There you go. Bringing the mashed potatoes to me,
when I should be going to that.
Fine.
What's going on?
Years of coddling have made me complacent,
and now it may cost me to get into grad school at Caltech.
Been saying that since you were born.
And yet you didn't stop her?
-I always thought you sucked. -[Mary] Missy!
I talked to Meemaw.
She said you can work at the video store
and bring the baby.
I thought you wanted a job.
No, I said I wanted a career.
Oh, are you thinking about going back to work already?
Yeah.
I mean, it's a little earlier than I thought,
but an opportunity came up and I'm going for it.
Initiative. Her parents kicked her out and look at that gumption.
So, what job you going for?
Channel 7's looking for a weather girl.
Oh, yeah. She said she quit because she was getting married.
Rumor is she got knocked up.
Which is exciting.
The interview's on Thursday.
What? You already applied? I thought we were gonna talk about it.
We did talk about it.
I said I was going to send in a tape, and I did.
Who's gonna watch CeeCee?
Well, I was hoping her family would help out.
Of course. I mean, I do work.
I work, too, George.
We work.
They got a point.
Uh, is the point that your mom's a working mother?
Well, I didn't work when my kids were babies.
That's true. She was a stay-at-home coddler.
Okay, now you're being obnoxious.
No one wants to hear you talk, ass-face.
I appreciate the help, but let's keep it clean.
-Butt-wad? -Better.
Well, that's a look.
That's also a look.
I can't find anything to wear for my interview.
[Meemaw] Let's see.
Hmm.
That's pretty cute.
"Can't find" was code for "Can't fit into."
Don't be so hard on yourself.
You just had a baby.
I'll tell them that.
Everybody loves a working mother.
Is that code for something?
-Yeah. Your family sucks. -Ooh.
Sounds like I missed a good dinner.
Am I a bad mom because I want a career?
Hell, no. And you're teaching your daughter that she can grow up
to do something more than raise kids.
Yeah.
You're gonna go and you're gonna get this job.
-Yeah! -But not in that.
Yeah.
-I'm waiting. -For what?
The "I told you so."
Because I've coddled Sheldon, and apparently, ruined his life.
Oh, I'm not gonna say that.
I mean, you did coddle him, and I did tell you. Okay. I told you so.
Thanks for not saying it.
He's just a dumb teenager.
[sighs] I guess it is normal for teenagers to blame their parents for stuff.
Sheldon's normal. That's a shocker.
Great. The one normal thing he does is blame me.
Someday, his kids are gonna tell him he's ruining their lives.
-You think? -If he has them, they're gonna say it.
So, probably not.
[George sighs]
[adult Sheldon] Joke's on him. I did have kids.
And joke's on me. They say it all the time.
Good morning.
Oh, you're out and about early.
Yeah. Got a lot going on today.
Connie's taking me shopping,
then to the salon to get ready for my interview.
Nice. A little mommy-daughter day.
Daddy-daughter day. Here you go.
I have work.
I like to think fatherhood is a full time job.
How am I gonna feed her? I don't have the… You know.
Formula's in the bag. Tag, you're it.
Bye, CeeCee.
[door closes]
Well, it looks like it's just me and you.
Let me give you the tour.
That's Axl Rose.
He's awesome.
That's the weight bench. That's where Daddy gets ripped. Yeah.
And that's the sink your mom totally peed in once. It's true.
[chuckles] I know. It's true.
Ooh, Volvo! Safe and flashy.
Like me.
Sheldon, I haven't had my coffee yet.
I thought you might say that.
Thank you.
I don't drink coffee. You like seven sugars?
[coughs]
What's so important it got you outside?
I had an idea that might be beneficial to both the university and me.
An exclusive summer program
led by a scientist of my choosing.
I've got an idea.
Apply to a school that already has it, get in and go there.
Honestly, with my current resume, I may not get in anywhere.
Which is why we need a program like this.
We don't have the time or the resources
to create a brand-new summer program.
That's sleepy talk. Take a few more sips. Let that sugar kick in.
The answer is no.
I knew I should've put whiskey in that coffee.
[game sounds beeping]
Whose baby?
Mine.
And you brought her to a gambling room?
Why not? There's flashing lights and fun noises.
It's basically Chuck E. Cheese.
Can I touch her head for luck?
-No. -Come on. I just washed my hands.
Make it quick.
Come on, baby. Uncle Wade needs a win.
All right. That's enough.
[machine beeping]
That's what I'm talking about!
I told you babies was good luck.
Can I touch her head, too?
No one else is touching my baby's head.
For free.
How much?
Five bucks.
-Worth it. -Sold.
-[door closes] -[Meemaw] Hey, dummy.
We need to talk.
If it's about CeeCee being here, I can explain.
-Where is she? -Right here.
Really?
It's fine. He's got, like, 15 grandkids.
We'll get back to that.
I have spent my day listening to Mandy bitch about you.
I don't suppose you stuck up for me?
No! If you really want to be with that girl,
you will not be the one to stand in her way.
I'm not trying to.
I just want to do what's best for CeeCee.
Obviously.
She deserves a mom who's home with her.
I think she deserves a mom who is happy and supported by her dad.
Huh.
Why is that woman touching her head?
I'll handle it. Hey, you gotta pay for that.
[sighs] Come on, Cooper.
See? He's been here since this morning.
He won't leave.
-What do you want me to do? -Get him to leave!
Good. You're both here. This will go faster with three of us.
Now. Do it. Give him the boot.
[chuckles nervously] Trying to solve unified field theory?
Yes. Who needs a summer program
if you can solve what Albert Einstein couldn't?
Let's see Caltech say no to this.
Sheldon, you're not gonna solve this in an afternoon.
-Or ever. -I need to do something to stand out.
I think you're putting too much pressure on this summer program.
You can apply next year.
I can't wait a year. I'll fall even further behind.
When I'm applying to Columbia,
Sam will use her letter of recommendation to get into Caltech.
And when I apply to Caltech,
they'll say, "You're from East Texas Tech.
"You must know Sam."
She's here longer than you and you'll never catch up."
-I think you need to calm down. -I can't calm down.
I have to keep pushing myself or I'll fall behind
until I'm an aging professor in a small university
with nothing to show for my work.
Ouch. I think he's talking about you.
-I think he's talking about us. -No.
I'm wasting time sleeping at night.
Where's the coffee machine?
It is time I start chasing the caffeine dragon.
Sheldon, listen to us.
Why should I? You let this happen to me.
You failed as my mentors.
What are you doing?
You're still the student. This is still my office,
and it's time for you to leave.
I'm afraid he's right.
[Mandy] Aww.
There she is.
Hi.
[sniffs] Um, why does she smell like smoke?
She hung out with me in the gambling room.
-What? -She was a hit.
Everybody says she was good luck.
Okay. So, I guess it went well?
It did. So, if you get that job, I'm all for it.
[CeeCee cooing]
Okay, good.
What's wrong?
Today was the longest I've been away from her, and it was awful.
So, you don't want the job?
I don't know.
I think you should give it a shot.
-Really? -Well, you were all excited about it.
And if you get the job, you can still say no.
Yeah, that's a good point.
I'd love to see you on TV.
Aww.
Then I can say, "I slept with that girl on TV."
Okay.
♪ Raindrops are falling on my head ♪
♪ And just like the guy Whose feet are too big for his bed ♪
[door opens]
[door closes]
Why are you listening to this?
I was upset, and this is the most angst-filled song
I could find in Mom's record collection.
What's wrong?
These are grown-up problems. You won't get it.
-Okay, bye. -I was the youngest student
at the university, and now--
I thought I wouldn't understand your problems.
Well, you're all I've got.
I assumed that I'd be the youngest student in grad school
and youngest person to win the Nobel Prize,
and now it's all slipping away.
No one cares how old you are.
Really? I'm not treated special because of my age and intellect?
I guess you do get everything you want all the time.
-See? -Whenever you're obnoxious,
it's always, "Poor Sheldon. He doesn't know any better."
Exactly. Poor Sheldon.
At grad school everybody's gonna be smart.
If I'm not the youngest, I won't stand out.
Sheldon, you're a kid talking about going to grad school.
You have no problems.
I knew you wouldn't understand.
I do. Instead of being a kid genius,
you're worried you're gonna be a regular genius.
Which is a stupid thing for a genius to worry about.
Stupid or not, I may not get to go to Caltech until I'm 15.
This is about when you move out?
-Yes. -I take it back. This is a big deal.
♪ Because I'm free ♪
♪ Nothing's worrying me… ♪
All right. So, we're just gonna put you on tape and see how it goes.
Okay. Uh, I'm ready.
-Okay. In three… -[sighs]
[mouthing] …two, one.
All right, let's take a look at our forecast for tonight.
Winds from the west are headed our way,
taking temperatures down to a cool 43 degrees.
You know what they say in Texas.
"If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes."
Actually, I've never said that. But my Aunt Bonnie does.
She's not wrong, though,
because those chilly days are gonna pass us by,
and by the weekend, we're looking at sunny and 72.
[adult Sheldon] Mandy was proving
that new mothers could do anything anyone else could do.
In fact, they could do more,
like make their own milk…
right there on camera.
Everything okay?
Not if you live on the coast.
Because there is a storm front building.
So, we need to keep an eye on these clouds right here.
Uh, but there's a low pressure system building, um, over here.
And, uh…
Well, then that could bring rain to, uh, to this whole area here.
So, for Channel 7 weather,
I'm Mandy McCallister. Good night.
And I just want to say I'm sorry for my behavior.
I'm going to age out of being a child prodigy regardless of your help.
I appreciate that.
Takes maturity to admit when you're wrong.
I know. Even this apology is grown up. This is all a disaster.
Son, it's not. Believe me, no one is more excited
for you to go to grad school than I am.
I don't know. You should talk to my sister.
Anyway, thank you for hearing me out.
Actually, Sheldon, I do have some news.
I reached out to a colleague who's doing a summer research program
at the University of Heidelberg.
And I think I can get you in.
Heidelberg, Germany?
A summer program 5,000 miles away.
Only a fool would say no to that.
That would certainly help my grad school applications.
Yes, and they're doing exciting work on superstrings.
Fantastisch. That's German for fantastic.
[speaking German]
That's German for "I'll help you pack."
[theme music playing] l help you pack."