1 00:00:01,041 --> 00:00:02,416 [Missy] Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:02,583 --> 00:00:04,750 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 3 00:00:04,916 --> 00:00:06,083 You may kiss the bride. 4 00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,500 We'd like to pay for a honeymoon. 5 00:00:09,666 --> 00:00:12,833 What would you say to an all-expenses paid 6 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,375 weekend at Dollywood? 7 00:00:14,541 --> 00:00:16,791 -Shut up! -Oh, my God, thank you. 8 00:00:17,708 --> 00:00:18,916 That ain't good. 9 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:20,875 [siren chips] 10 00:00:20,958 --> 00:00:22,625 [officer] Connie Tucker, please stop running. 11 00:00:22,791 --> 00:00:23,750 Why are you handcuffed? 12 00:00:23,916 --> 00:00:26,375 I was just taking the baby for a walk 13 00:00:26,541 --> 00:00:28,583 and Cagney and Lacey here decided 14 00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:30,750 that I was evading arrest. 15 00:00:36,625 --> 00:00:39,125 -How's that feel? -Unnecessary. 16 00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:41,625 You ran from the police. You're a flight risk. 17 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,916 She can't run. She got a funky hip. 18 00:00:44,083 --> 00:00:45,958 -She can barely waddle. -Watch it. 19 00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:48,541 You got a 50-yard radius from the base. 20 00:00:48,708 --> 00:00:50,416 It'll beep when you get close to the edge. 21 00:00:50,875 --> 00:00:52,916 If you cross it, we get a call. 22 00:00:53,083 --> 00:00:55,416 If you tamper with it, we get a call. 23 00:00:55,958 --> 00:00:57,291 Will it give her a little zap? 24 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,916 -No. -Well, how is she gonna learn? 25 00:01:00,541 --> 00:01:01,791 Will it beep if I kill him? 26 00:01:01,958 --> 00:01:05,291 As long as it's within 50 yards, go for it. 27 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,125 I can't leave the house? 28 00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:10,291 What the hell am I supposed to do all day? 29 00:01:10,458 --> 00:01:11,625 I am way ahead of you. 30 00:01:11,791 --> 00:01:15,000 See, I stopped and I picked up puzzles. 31 00:01:15,166 --> 00:01:19,041 Got us the Grand Canyon and Dogs Playing Poker. 32 00:01:20,041 --> 00:01:23,750 If I were to run right now, would you shoot me? 33 00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:27,333 [theme song playing] 34 00:01:43,416 --> 00:01:45,208 Ooh! I found a corner. 35 00:01:45,375 --> 00:01:47,041 Congratulations. 36 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,041 Oh, come on. We can have a little fun. 37 00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:52,166 I have lost my business. I have lost my home. 38 00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:54,333 I have lost my freedom. 39 00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:55,791 And you want to have fun? 40 00:01:56,458 --> 00:01:57,375 A little fun. 41 00:01:57,916 --> 00:01:59,250 Do you not understand? 42 00:01:59,416 --> 00:02:01,125 I could be going to jail. 43 00:02:01,291 --> 00:02:03,250 Oh, come on, please. They're not gonna send 44 00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:05,708 a sweet old grandma to the pokey. 45 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,125 Well, I hope not. 46 00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:10,916 Tell me something, if you would. 47 00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:12,875 Is that sky or water? 48 00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:14,041 Let me see it. 49 00:02:17,541 --> 00:02:19,458 Well, it's a good thing that didn't go 50 yards. 50 00:02:19,625 --> 00:02:20,708 You can still get it. 51 00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:24,375 Hey, we're back! 52 00:02:24,541 --> 00:02:26,208 Hey. Hi. 53 00:02:26,708 --> 00:02:27,625 Where's my little girl? 54 00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:30,666 Um, she's with Mary. 55 00:02:30,958 --> 00:02:32,041 Why? 56 00:02:32,833 --> 00:02:34,666 Well, how do I put this? 57 00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:39,916 -[gasps] -What the heck is that? 58 00:02:40,083 --> 00:02:41,750 I'm under house arrest. 59 00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:43,125 Why? 60 00:02:43,291 --> 00:02:44,375 We got busted. 61 00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:46,458 -We? -Me. 62 00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:47,833 Do they know about Georgie? 63 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,041 No, of course not. 64 00:02:49,208 --> 00:02:51,083 Your grandma's not a snitch, 65 00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,041 which, by the way, will serve you well 66 00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:54,833 if you end up in the slammer. 67 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,166 The pokey, the slammer. What is it with you? 68 00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:59,333 I like cop shows. You learn things. 69 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:01,208 What about the laundromat? The video store? 70 00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:02,875 They shut everything down. 71 00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:05,166 So what are we gonna do for money? 72 00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:07,791 -Yeah. -That's an excellent question. 73 00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:12,375 How was Dollywood? 74 00:03:12,541 --> 00:03:14,250 Magical. What are we gonna do about money? 75 00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:18,416 -Hey. -Hello. 76 00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:20,000 Studyin' for a test? 77 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,708 Studying to take the bar exam. 78 00:03:21,875 --> 00:03:23,333 Meemaw's going to need a smart lawyer. 79 00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:25,541 By the time we find one, I could just learn how to do it. 80 00:03:25,708 --> 00:03:26,875 Seriously? 81 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,166 Common law was invented 82 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,666 by a bunch of English farmers in the Middle Ages. 83 00:03:29,833 --> 00:03:30,833 I think I can hack it. 84 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,291 All right. What do you got? 85 00:03:32,458 --> 00:03:35,000 Well, have you ever heard of Vincent "The Chin" Gigante? 86 00:03:35,458 --> 00:03:36,291 He a boxer? 87 00:03:36,958 --> 00:03:38,333 He was originally. Good for you. 88 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,666 But he's better known as a major crime boss 89 00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:41,833 who managed to stay out of prison 90 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,083 by employing the legal doctrine of mens rea. 91 00:03:44,708 --> 00:03:46,666 -Which is? -He pretended to be nuts. 92 00:03:46,833 --> 00:03:48,666 He wandered the streets of New York in a bathrobe, 93 00:03:48,833 --> 00:03:50,958 he had poor personal hygiene, he mumbled to himself. 94 00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:52,250 All the cuckoo classics. 95 00:03:52,416 --> 00:03:53,791 Yeah. If you need someone to testify 96 00:03:53,958 --> 00:03:55,583 that she's off her rocker, you give me a call. 97 00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:56,958 Thank you. 98 00:03:57,125 --> 00:03:58,458 Toilet's backed up. 99 00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:00,708 Well, don't look at me. I just got home. 100 00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:03,208 Yeah, but it's had years of you. 101 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:04,958 I'll check it out. 102 00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:07,375 Come on, little buddy. 103 00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:11,583 You can do it. Talk to me. 104 00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:14,416 There you go. Clear it out. 105 00:04:17,041 --> 00:04:17,875 [grunts] 106 00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:23,541 Years. 107 00:04:27,958 --> 00:04:29,041 Here's the estimate. 108 00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:30,791 I'm gonna need 50% down to get started. 109 00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:32,416 Are you kiddin' me? 110 00:04:32,583 --> 00:04:34,666 We're fixin' a toilet, not buyin' a car. 111 00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:36,333 Good thing I wasn't going to college. 112 00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:37,791 Nothing's wrong with your toilet. 113 00:04:37,958 --> 00:04:39,125 The septic tank is shot. 114 00:04:40,041 --> 00:04:41,333 What's a septic tank? 115 00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,125 It's basically a big container under the backyard 116 00:04:43,291 --> 00:04:45,625 that's filled up with all your bathroom business. 117 00:04:46,125 --> 00:04:48,625 -Ew! I played in that yard. -Missy, not now. 118 00:04:48,791 --> 00:04:49,625 Come on, Phil. 119 00:04:49,791 --> 00:04:51,750 Isn't there some kind of friends and family discount? 120 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,958 I mean, we went to high school together. 121 00:04:54,125 --> 00:04:56,708 Yeah. You were mean to me. 122 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:01,833 Oh, come on. I was mad at the world. Not just you. 123 00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:04,250 I ate that dirt. 124 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:08,208 -Did he fix it? -[George] Not quite. 125 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,375 And he's still a weasel. 126 00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:11,416 -What did he do? -Look. 127 00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:14,666 -[gasps] What a weasel. -What are we gonna do? 128 00:05:14,833 --> 00:05:16,583 I mean, we're six people. We need a toilet. 129 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,541 Don't worry. Georgie, come with me. 130 00:05:18,708 --> 00:05:20,333 -Where we goin'? -I got a plan. 131 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:22,083 -Is this a good plan? -Eh. 132 00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:26,333 All right. So I believe that completes the sky. 133 00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:28,791 Satisfying, huh? 134 00:05:30,041 --> 00:05:31,583 So, what do you think? 135 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,500 You wanna get some exercise, 136 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,875 go for a walk until you start beepin'? 137 00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:37,875 [laughs sarcastically] It's not funny. 138 00:05:38,041 --> 00:05:41,291 My life is in shambles and I'm too old to start over. 139 00:05:41,458 --> 00:05:43,708 Oh, come on. You are not too old. 140 00:05:43,875 --> 00:05:47,833 Now, listen. You are a smart, vibrant, perky woman. 141 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,458 -Perky? -Well, yeah, compared to me. 142 00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:52,291 And I'll tell you another thing. 143 00:05:52,458 --> 00:05:53,708 Your life's not over. 144 00:05:54,458 --> 00:05:58,791 You are writing a new chapter in the book of you. 145 00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:05,000 A book where a perky heroine rises up and... 146 00:06:06,458 --> 00:06:07,291 And what? 147 00:06:07,458 --> 00:06:09,333 I don't know. You want to get drunk? 148 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,833 -Yes. -Great. 149 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,750 Gonna run to the liquor store. You want to come with me? 150 00:06:12,916 --> 00:06:13,833 Dale! 151 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,291 Right. Okay, be back in a jiffy. 152 00:06:21,125 --> 00:06:22,750 God help me, I love him. 153 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,833 [George] All right. Just a little bit more. 154 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,708 Easy, easy. There you go. 155 00:06:29,125 --> 00:06:30,000 There. 156 00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,666 -Not bad, huh? -I don't know. 157 00:06:32,833 --> 00:06:34,416 It might look better by the fence. 158 00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:37,750 Look better? It's a big plastic crap house. 159 00:06:37,916 --> 00:06:39,208 Oh, dear Lord. 160 00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:42,500 You wanted a toilet? Voilà. 161 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:45,166 -Where did you get it? -From the high school. 162 00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:46,958 We got like ten of them for visitin' teams. 163 00:06:47,125 --> 00:06:48,125 Give it a whirl. 164 00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:49,916 I'd rather die. 165 00:06:51,291 --> 00:06:52,250 Is there a light inside? 166 00:06:52,416 --> 00:06:54,583 -Nope. -Trust me. That's a good thing. 167 00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:56,333 We'll just tie a flashlight to the handle. 168 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,000 Huh. I always wondered what rock bottom would look like. 169 00:06:59,166 --> 00:07:00,916 Come on. At least check it out. 170 00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:07,250 I checked. I'm out. 171 00:07:10,208 --> 00:07:12,333 -I can't thank y'all enough. -No, don't be silly. 172 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,541 Stay as long as you need. 173 00:07:13,708 --> 00:07:14,750 It's only temporary. 174 00:07:14,875 --> 00:07:17,791 Whatever. We're just thrilled to have you and the baby here. 175 00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:19,250 And me too, right? 176 00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:21,125 Yes, you'll be here, too. 177 00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:25,625 -Well, let me give you a hand. -Thanks. 178 00:07:25,791 --> 00:07:27,458 Now, Georgie, if the police come for you, 179 00:07:27,625 --> 00:07:28,583 what should we tell them? 180 00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:29,791 Mom. 181 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:32,916 I'm sorry. I've never harbored a fugitive before. 182 00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:33,958 Mom! 183 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:40,833 Who's that guy? 184 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,333 It's Donny Osmond. 185 00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:43,708 Never heard of him. 186 00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:45,458 You know, Donny & Marie? 187 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,625 Sometimes I forget how old you are. 188 00:07:47,791 --> 00:07:49,041 Thank you. 189 00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,333 -I'm sorry about my mom. -You kiddin'? 190 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,375 We got a double bed and an indoor bathroom. 191 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,583 She could spit in my cornflakes, and I'm a happy camper. 192 00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:58,833 Good. Because she might. 193 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,708 Don't worry. I'll win her over. 194 00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:02,875 -She thinks you ruined my life. -So? 195 00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:05,500 You thought I ruined your life and you married me. 196 00:08:05,666 --> 00:08:06,708 I called it. 197 00:08:06,875 --> 00:08:08,958 I said no good would come of this marriage. 198 00:08:09,125 --> 00:08:11,916 Yeah, yeah. You said it a lot. You said it at the wedding. 199 00:08:12,583 --> 00:08:14,916 But still, you know, I think you could be 200 00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:16,166 a little nicer to him. 201 00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:18,958 Sure, I can also go out in the backyard 202 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:21,041 and water the crab grass. 203 00:08:21,583 --> 00:08:22,958 We're gonna be okay, right? 204 00:08:23,791 --> 00:08:24,625 Of course. 205 00:08:24,833 --> 00:08:26,125 How can you be so sure? 206 00:08:26,291 --> 00:08:27,500 Hey, you didn't just marry 207 00:08:27,666 --> 00:08:28,708 a pretty boy like Danny over here. 208 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,208 -Donny. -Yeah, him. 209 00:08:30,958 --> 00:08:33,250 You know, I'm the hardest worker you'll ever meet. 210 00:08:33,416 --> 00:08:35,625 When I see somethin' I want, I don't stop till I get it. 211 00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:37,166 You are relentless. 212 00:08:37,833 --> 00:08:40,333 The good news is, with Amanda back in the house, 213 00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,375 I can help her come to her senses. 214 00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:43,791 Good plan. 215 00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:44,958 Hey, in the meantime, 216 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,166 I was thinkin' of puttin' Georgie to work at the store. 217 00:08:47,916 --> 00:08:50,208 There you go, waterin' the crab grass. 218 00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:52,458 It's not charity, all right? He'll work. 219 00:08:52,625 --> 00:08:53,875 He's a criminal, Jim. 220 00:08:54,041 --> 00:08:57,041 And what I want is to take care of you and CeeCee. 221 00:08:57,541 --> 00:08:59,750 And maybe someday a Georgie Jr. Jr. 222 00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:01,541 You mean George III? 223 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,083 No, that's too fancy. He'd get his ass kicked. 224 00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:05,458 Yeah. 225 00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:07,166 For your information, those little backroom 226 00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:08,875 slot machines are all over town. 227 00:09:09,375 --> 00:09:10,291 How do you know? 228 00:09:11,541 --> 00:09:12,916 People tell me stuff. 229 00:09:15,208 --> 00:09:16,708 I just-- I got one of them faces. 230 00:09:18,208 --> 00:09:21,083 [adult Sheldon] I had a plan to avoid using the porta potty. 231 00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:22,541 I just had to get through the night 232 00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:25,000 until I could get back to my dorm in the morning. 233 00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:27,125 I lowered my overall liquid intake, 234 00:09:27,291 --> 00:09:29,583 skipped my pre-bed chamomile tea, 235 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:32,291 and gave my bladder a stern talking to. 236 00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:35,583 My bladder did not listen. 237 00:09:37,833 --> 00:09:38,833 [exhales] 238 00:09:42,458 --> 00:09:43,458 I can do this. 239 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,500 [adult Sheldon] My body may have been weak, but my mind was strong. 240 00:09:46,666 --> 00:09:48,291 I just needed to think about this situation 241 00:09:48,458 --> 00:09:49,625 in a different way. 242 00:09:49,791 --> 00:09:52,333 Instead of a porta potty, it was a TARDIS. 243 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,583 Instead of Sheldon, I was Doctor Who, 244 00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:58,750 whose urine was ready to travel through space and time. 245 00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:01,375 For those who aren't familiar, 246 00:10:01,541 --> 00:10:03,500 the TARDIS is bigger on the inside. 247 00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:06,541 This one, however, was smellier on the inside. 248 00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:08,666 I can't do this. 249 00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,916 [adult Sheldon] I'm not proud of this, but that night I relieved myself 250 00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:15,875 inside Billy Sparks' chicken coop. 251 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:19,083 Until my wife, those hens were the only females 252 00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:20,916 I ever exposed myself to. 253 00:10:23,625 --> 00:10:25,333 I guess I could have left that part out. 254 00:10:26,291 --> 00:10:27,125 Oh well. 255 00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:29,208 [Georgie] More bacon? 256 00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:30,375 Pile it on. 257 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:31,958 Good morning. 258 00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:34,166 Mornin'. Have a seat. 259 00:10:35,416 --> 00:10:37,375 Georgie made us breakfast. Isn't that nice? 260 00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,500 Look at that. Thank you. 261 00:10:39,666 --> 00:10:40,625 My pleasure. 262 00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:43,125 I guess I'll just have to run to the supermarket later 263 00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:44,958 and get some more eggs for that cake 264 00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:46,375 I was going to make. 265 00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:50,416 Oh, no problem. I can go to the grocery store. 266 00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:53,375 Apparently, we're not job hunting today. 267 00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:56,125 Oh, speakin' of jobs... 268 00:10:58,041 --> 00:10:59,208 Good luck to you, son. 269 00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:06,375 Meemaw. Meemaw. Meemaw. 270 00:11:09,208 --> 00:11:11,333 -What? -Oh, my, you look terrible. 271 00:11:11,958 --> 00:11:12,833 Are you sick? 272 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,041 Of life? Yes. 273 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,958 Oh, good. That's not contagious. 274 00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:19,000 Get in here. The light's killing me. 275 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,250 You smell like alcohol, yucky. 276 00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:25,500 Look who came to visit. 277 00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:27,916 Oh, great. 278 00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:29,083 You will think it's great 279 00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:30,791 when you hear the brilliant legal strategy I have 280 00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,250 to keep Meemaw out of prison. 281 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,250 I thought you were a science guy. 282 00:11:34,416 --> 00:11:36,875 I am. But sometimes I like to spread my wings. 283 00:11:37,291 --> 00:11:39,041 Oh, okay. Proceed. 284 00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:40,125 What do you got? 285 00:11:40,291 --> 00:11:42,541 It's simple. We argue under Article 46b 286 00:11:42,708 --> 00:11:43,583 of the Texas Penal Code 287 00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:46,583 that you're unfit to stand trial due to mental incompetence. 288 00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:48,916 You want to tell 'em I'm crazy? 289 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,458 Yes. And keep this look. It really bolsters our case. 290 00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:53,875 Has this worked before? 291 00:11:54,041 --> 00:11:55,000 It has. 292 00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:57,541 Oh. Well, that's good news. 293 00:11:57,708 --> 00:12:00,166 The bad news is you'll probably be institutionalized. 294 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,416 You want me to go to the nut house? 295 00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:05,250 I want you to stay out of prison. 296 00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:09,166 Oh, Moonpie, thank you. Thank you so much. 297 00:12:09,333 --> 00:12:12,208 I really do appreciate it, but I'm fine. 298 00:12:12,375 --> 00:12:15,000 You know, I have a buddy whose nephew is a lawyer. 299 00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:16,375 He's gonna help us out. 300 00:12:16,541 --> 00:12:18,208 Is this because I haven't passed the bar yet? 301 00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:20,250 Because that's just a formality. A monkey could do it. 302 00:12:20,416 --> 00:12:23,625 No, I think that I'd just feel more comfortable 303 00:12:23,791 --> 00:12:26,958 if I was gettin' advice from somebody who had 304 00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:29,375 a little more professional experience. 305 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,416 Okay. I've been doing this for a day and a half, 306 00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:33,708 but suit yourself. 307 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,333 Got your eggs, everything on the list. 308 00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:42,166 Thank you. 309 00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:43,291 I also filled out an application 310 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:44,916 to be a bag boy while I was there. 311 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,666 Oh, wonderful. 312 00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:48,750 My son-in-law, the bag boy. 313 00:12:48,916 --> 00:12:50,291 It's only temporary. 314 00:12:50,458 --> 00:12:53,208 I'll make my way up to cashier, then night manager, 315 00:12:53,375 --> 00:12:56,416 then manager manager, then regional supervisor, 316 00:12:56,583 --> 00:12:58,958 then it's just a hop, skip, and a jump to HQ. 317 00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:00,166 That's short for headquarters. 318 00:13:00,958 --> 00:13:03,083 You can do all that without a high school diploma? 319 00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:05,333 If you're a member of the can-do club. 320 00:13:07,875 --> 00:13:08,916 God help me. 321 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:11,875 I'll just put these away. 322 00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:18,583 What's the can-do club 323 00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:20,125 and why is my mom so mad about it? 324 00:13:24,833 --> 00:13:26,041 What are you doing? 325 00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:27,791 Cleanin' out these rain gutters. 326 00:13:27,958 --> 00:13:29,375 Otherwise the water gets backed up 327 00:13:29,541 --> 00:13:30,875 and wrecks havoc on your roof. 328 00:13:31,291 --> 00:13:32,791 Wreaks havoc. 329 00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:36,250 No, I'm pretty sure it's wrecks because that's what it do. 330 00:13:39,958 --> 00:13:41,666 Oh. Look at that. 331 00:13:43,041 --> 00:13:44,916 Audrey, is this your Wham-O? 332 00:13:46,041 --> 00:13:46,916 Audrey? 333 00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:52,083 "And the Wolf said, 'I'm gonna huff and puff 334 00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:54,333 and blow your house down.'" 335 00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:57,208 Don't worry. Daddy will never let that happen to you. 336 00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:59,083 I'm gonna keep you safe. 337 00:14:00,166 --> 00:14:02,333 Uh-oh. Somebody needs a new diaper. 338 00:14:03,291 --> 00:14:04,916 Come on. Let's get you one. 339 00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:09,041 Oh, hey. She's got you and Mandy's good looks, 340 00:14:09,208 --> 00:14:11,000 but she poops like her dad. 341 00:14:11,958 --> 00:14:12,958 Lovely. 342 00:14:17,625 --> 00:14:19,333 Your grandma's comin' around on me. 343 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,291 Yeah, she is. 344 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,791 The good news is I've had some encouraging talks 345 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,625 with the district attorney, and I think that we can-- 346 00:14:27,791 --> 00:14:30,333 Hang on. How old are you? 347 00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:32,625 I know I look young, but I'm 24. 348 00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:35,291 You bring me a child attorney? 349 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:38,125 Well, you were about to take advice from a 14-year-old. 350 00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:39,791 Oh, who's that? I might know him. 351 00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:41,500 Just finish up what you were sayin'. 352 00:14:41,666 --> 00:14:44,000 Right. A deal can be made without going to trial. 353 00:14:44,166 --> 00:14:46,708 You plead guilty, pay a fine, lose your business license, 354 00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:49,208 maybe some community service probation, 355 00:14:49,375 --> 00:14:50,333 but no jail time. 356 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,416 So I'll lose the gambling room, 357 00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:55,625 but I can keep the laundromat and the video store? 358 00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:57,250 No, those are all considered 359 00:14:57,416 --> 00:14:58,541 a part of the criminal enterprise. 360 00:14:58,708 --> 00:14:59,625 They get confiscated. 361 00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:01,541 What if I fight it? 362 00:15:01,708 --> 00:15:02,625 On what grounds? 363 00:15:02,791 --> 00:15:04,958 I didn't have an illegal gambling room. 364 00:15:05,125 --> 00:15:09,125 I collected... antique slot machines. 365 00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:10,416 It was my hobby. 366 00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:11,625 And the evading arrest? 367 00:15:11,791 --> 00:15:13,666 I was just taking my great-granddaughter 368 00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:15,125 for a brisk stroll. 369 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,791 I'm confused. Did we start the insanity thing? 370 00:15:18,958 --> 00:15:20,416 [lawyer] I think you should take this deal. 371 00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:22,958 Put everything behind you, get on with your life. 372 00:15:23,125 --> 00:15:24,708 What life? I have no life. 373 00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:27,208 -You have me. -Yeah, yeah. 374 00:15:27,791 --> 00:15:29,916 What if I had somethin' to offer? 375 00:15:30,666 --> 00:15:33,583 Then maybe I could keep my businesses and skip the fine? 376 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:34,875 What are you thinking? 377 00:15:35,041 --> 00:15:37,500 That greedy rat of a cop I was payin' off. 378 00:15:37,666 --> 00:15:39,708 Rutledge? He's the one who flipped on you. 379 00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:41,375 Son of a bitch. 380 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,000 You can't even trust a dirty cop these days. 381 00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:45,416 Come on, Connie. 382 00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:48,000 Yeah. No one wants to see a grandma behind bars. 383 00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:50,166 -Great-grandma. Yeah. -Oh, wow. 384 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:52,416 -How old are you? -None of your business. 385 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,083 So, do I tell them we have a deal? 386 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000 Okay, fine. 387 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,958 Thank God. I'm too old to find somebody new. 388 00:16:12,875 --> 00:16:14,083 What are you doin'? 389 00:16:14,291 --> 00:16:15,666 Makin' a withdrawal. 390 00:16:16,083 --> 00:16:19,708 You put a hole in my wall and hid money in it? 391 00:16:19,875 --> 00:16:20,708 It seemed safe. 392 00:16:20,875 --> 00:16:22,666 I mean, who'd look for money in this dump? 393 00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:24,916 Why do you need it? 394 00:16:25,083 --> 00:16:27,875 Legal fees. Maybe a new gambling room. 395 00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:28,875 Mom! 396 00:16:29,041 --> 00:16:31,500 By the way, what is that porta potty doin' 397 00:16:31,666 --> 00:16:32,666 out there in your yard? 398 00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:36,166 We're havin' plumbin' issues. We need a new septic tank. 399 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,875 -Ouch. -Tell me about it. 400 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:41,833 How much you got in there? 401 00:16:42,458 --> 00:16:43,583 None your business. 402 00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:45,125 It's in my wall. 403 00:16:45,291 --> 00:16:47,583 It's the devil's money, Mary. You don't want it. 404 00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:48,916 I don't care. 405 00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:51,625 Last night, I went to pee and there was a snake in there. 406 00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,416 Here you go. 407 00:16:54,958 --> 00:16:56,458 Get yourself some indoor plumbing. 408 00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:59,083 Oh, Mommy, thank you. 409 00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:00,125 [Missy screams] 410 00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:03,708 Snake's back! Snake's back! 411 00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:09,958 Nice house. 412 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,791 Got the job. Part-time bag boy. 413 00:17:15,708 --> 00:17:17,208 They let you take the apron home. 414 00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:19,250 Oh, shoot. 415 00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:22,041 [chuckles] That's great, Georgie. I'm really proud of you. 416 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,625 It's only temporary until I find somethin' better. 417 00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:25,541 Hmm? 418 00:17:29,958 --> 00:17:32,291 Listen, Georgie, Audrey and I were thinkin'... 419 00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:34,375 -[clears throat] -I was thinkin'... 420 00:17:34,541 --> 00:17:36,708 I could really use some help down at the tire store. 421 00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:38,583 Really? Sellin' tires? 422 00:17:39,541 --> 00:17:42,291 You are not gonna regret this. I'll work my butt off for you. 423 00:17:42,458 --> 00:17:44,750 Nights, weekends, holidays. You name it. I am there. 424 00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:47,791 Pretty impressive kid, huh? 425 00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:49,833 We'll see. 426 00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:53,416 We'll see? Good job. 427 00:17:53,541 --> 00:17:55,458 -Told you. -[both chuckle] 428 00:17:58,583 --> 00:18:00,750 I go out walkin' 429 00:18:01,583 --> 00:18:03,708 After midnight 430 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,833 Out in the moonlight 431 00:18:06,916 --> 00:18:08,250 Just like we used to do 432 00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:10,708 [sighs] 433 00:18:10,791 --> 00:18:11,958 What the hell is-- 434 00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:16,208 Snake! Snake! Oh, snake! Snake! 435 00:18:17,916 --> 00:18:19,000 Mary? 436 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,666 Bring a towel. 437 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,166 [theme music playing] e! Snake!