1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,959 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA www.PSArips.com 2 00:00:10,820 --> 00:00:14,360 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 3 00:00:14,450 --> 00:00:18,240 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 4 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:21,820 ♪ This show will wreck your evening Your whole life and your day ♪ 5 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:25,480 ♪ Every single episode Is nothing but dismay ♪ 6 00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:30,690 ♪ So look away Look away, look away ♪ 7 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:33,830 ♪ The Baudelaires are living With a man who studies snakes ♪ 8 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:37,610 ♪ He's jolly and he's secretive And makes a few mistakes ♪ 9 00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:40,700 ♪ Spoiler alert A villain comes to steal and murder ♪ 10 00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:45,280 ♪ And so if I were you I wouldn't even watch one minute further ♪ 11 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:49,770 ♪ Just look away, look away ♪ 12 00:00:49,860 --> 00:00:53,440 ♪ There's nothing but horror And inconvenience on the way ♪ 13 00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:56,620 ♪ Ask any stable person "Should I watch?" And they will say ♪ 14 00:00:56,700 --> 00:01:01,410 ♪ Look away, look away, look away ♪ 15 00:01:01,490 --> 00:01:05,280 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 16 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,820 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 17 00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:13,020 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 18 00:01:22,570 --> 00:01:24,770 [Lemony] There's no word to describe the feeling of waking up 19 00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:27,900 and knowing instantly that something is terribly wrong. 20 00:01:27,990 --> 00:01:30,450 If there were, the Baudelaires would have used that word 21 00:01:30,530 --> 00:01:32,990 when they rose to find dawn had awoken them, 22 00:01:33,070 --> 00:01:34,940 and their Uncle Monty had not. 23 00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:36,700 [iguana purring] 24 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:52,110 -[Klaus] Uncle Monty? -[Violet] Monty? 25 00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:01,730 -Uncle Monty? -Are you in here? 26 00:02:12,820 --> 00:02:15,270 We all know that our time in this world is limited, 27 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,190 and that eventually all of us will go to sleep, never to wake up. 28 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:25,280 Monty... 29 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,900 But that didn't change how the Baudelaires felt that morning 30 00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:31,200 in the room their uncle had filled so carefully with specimens, 31 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:35,080 and in which he was now a sort of specimen himself. 32 00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:36,650 -How could this happen? -[scoffs] 33 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,780 We know exactly how this happened. 34 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:44,200 My, my, my, my, my. 35 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:49,160 What a terrible accident. Whoever discovers this will be very upset. 36 00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:53,020 "For in that sleep of death what dreams may come." 37 00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:54,320 You murdered him. 38 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,270 Why, Klaus, I'm surprised. 39 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:00,940 A smarty-pants boy like you ought to be able to figure out that 40 00:03:01,030 --> 00:03:05,580 jolly old Uncle Monty died from a snakebite, not murder. 41 00:03:05,650 --> 00:03:07,730 Look at the teeth marks on his cheek. 42 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:11,900 Look at his cold, waxy face. [chuckles softly] 43 00:03:11,990 --> 00:03:14,160 -Look at his unblinking eyes. -Stop it! 44 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,740 Stop talking like that. 45 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,690 You're right. There's no time for chitchat. 46 00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:19,990 We have a ship to catch 47 00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:23,230 and I'd like to board in time to have a bottle of wine before lunch. 48 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:27,740 Peru. We're going to Peru. 49 00:03:27,820 --> 00:03:29,940 We wouldn't go to the end of the driveway with you, 50 00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:32,030 much less international waters. 51 00:03:32,110 --> 00:03:35,770 Well, then I guess I'll have to take my own luggage. 52 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,280 [Sunny shouts] 53 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:41,730 Sunny! 54 00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:44,360 -[Violet] Let her out this instant. -[Klaus] She won't be able to breathe. 55 00:03:44,450 --> 00:03:46,370 I'm so tired of having to explain everything to you. 56 00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:47,910 You're supposed to be so smart, 57 00:03:47,990 --> 00:03:50,620 and yet you persistently seem to forget about this. 58 00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:55,480 I'll leave some breathing holes for her. 59 00:03:55,990 --> 00:03:57,120 -[Klaus] No! -Stop! 60 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,620 I'm kidding. That's not the suitcase she's in. I don't think. 61 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,120 Please don't hurt her. 62 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,620 Then get in the car. 63 00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:06,860 [Sunny coos] 64 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,370 [chuckles mockingly] 65 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,900 [engine starts] 66 00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:20,700 Really, there's no one to blame but yourselves. 67 00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:22,990 -[gears grinding] -If you hadn't stranded me at the movies, 68 00:04:23,070 --> 00:04:25,610 I wouldn't have had to kill Monty and we'd all be on our way to Peru, 69 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,700 where I would have had to kill Monty. 70 00:04:27,780 --> 00:04:29,870 God, I hate driving stick. 71 00:04:29,950 --> 00:04:31,330 You're just gonna leave him there? 72 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,320 Trust me, he doesn't mind. 73 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:37,020 Of course, after they discover he's dead, you'll be long gone, 74 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,770 and I'll be taking advantage of Peru's extremely lax guardianship laws. 75 00:04:40,860 --> 00:04:43,230 Why won't... [grunting] There we go. 76 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,820 You can't take us out of the country. 77 00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:49,530 Can he? 78 00:04:50,110 --> 00:04:52,320 And who's going to stop me? 79 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,730 -[Klaus] Look out! -[screams] 80 00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,620 [screams] 81 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:04,940 [sighs] 82 00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:08,450 It's extremely rare for an accident to be a fortunate event. 83 00:05:08,530 --> 00:05:10,080 Luckily for the Baudelaires... 84 00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:13,230 -Blasted furnaces of hell! -[Mr. Poe coughing] 85 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,980 -[Lemony] ...this was one of those times. -[coughing] 86 00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:17,190 What were you thinking, 87 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,280 careening down that driveway like a maniac? 88 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,270 Me? I was driving well below the speed limit. 89 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,230 -Mr. Poe. -Violet Baudelaire? 90 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,400 -I'm so grateful you ran into us. -Well, I wouldn't say that. 91 00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:27,280 It was clearly the fault of the other driver. 92 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,110 -[Stephano stammering] I never... -[coos] 93 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,990 I thought there were three of you. Ah, there's the baby. 94 00:05:33,070 --> 00:05:34,480 You're not Dr. Montgomery. 95 00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:37,320 [groans] My spleen! 96 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:41,230 -I think you've ruptured him. -[Mr. Poe coughing] 97 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,980 Hello, my name is Stephano. 98 00:05:47,070 --> 00:05:50,440 I'm Dr. Montgomery Montgomery's new assistant. 99 00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:54,450 I mean, I was. I mean... I don't know how to say it. 100 00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:56,490 -Uncle Monty's dead. -That's how to say it. 101 00:05:56,570 --> 00:05:59,820 He's dead? But that... That's terrible. How did it happen? 102 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,520 He was bitten by a snake. 103 00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:04,070 I was on my way now to get the coroner. 104 00:06:04,150 --> 00:06:06,110 The children were too hysterical to be left here alone. 105 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,780 He wasn't taking us to a coroner. He was taking us to Peru. 106 00:06:08,860 --> 00:06:11,820 What? Wha...? See? Hysterical. 107 00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:16,190 No, the children must be confused. Dr. Montgomery was taking them to Peru. 108 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:19,120 Last night he called me to insist on me rearranging 109 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,160 my morning itinerary to bring them these passports. 110 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,620 He'd want me to have them. 111 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,240 Can't you see, Mr. Poe? That's Count Olaf. 112 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,570 He's in disguise and he's trying to take us away. 113 00:06:28,650 --> 00:06:31,070 Who am I? What am I doing? 114 00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:34,440 [chuckles] Don't you miss the vivid imagination of childhood? 115 00:06:34,530 --> 00:06:37,330 -I never had one. -An imagination or a childhood? 116 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,940 [coughs] 117 00:06:39,030 --> 00:06:41,620 Children, you must be very distraught about losing your uncle. 118 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:45,740 Count Olaf is a terrible man who tried to steal their fortune. 119 00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:47,020 -Really? -Yes. 120 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:49,110 And do I look anything like this Count Olaf? 121 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,700 No, you don't. 122 00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:53,660 Count Olaf has one long eyebrow and he has a very short beard. 123 00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:55,240 You have a very long beard, 124 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,940 and I hope you don't mind me saying so, no eyebrows at all. 125 00:06:58,030 --> 00:07:00,620 -He shaved his eyebrow. -And he let his beard grow. 126 00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,700 Can't you see? Anyone could see that. 127 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:06,830 -[hisses] -[Klaus] Sunny's right. 128 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:10,320 Count Olaf has a tattoo on his left ankle. It looks like an eye. 129 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,070 [sighs] 130 00:07:12,150 --> 00:07:13,730 I hate to trouble you, sir, 131 00:07:13,820 --> 00:07:15,650 but just to put the children's minds at ease, 132 00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:20,370 would you be so kind as to show us your ankle? [coughing] 133 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,230 I'd be happy to. 134 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,650 [softly gasping] 135 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,240 My apologies, Mr. Stephano. 136 00:08:01,990 --> 00:08:03,660 It's no problem. 137 00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:07,410 As long as the vehicle is operational, then we really must be going. 138 00:08:07,490 --> 00:08:08,580 -[both] No. -No. 139 00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:09,940 -No? -No. 140 00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:12,530 None of us are going anywhere until the police have been called. 141 00:08:12,610 --> 00:08:14,480 Oh, come on, man. It's just a fender bender. 142 00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:16,070 About Dr. Montgomery. 143 00:08:17,490 --> 00:08:19,490 What a sensible idea. 144 00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:21,070 It's quite urgent. 145 00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:24,360 First name, Montgomery. Last name, Montgomery. 146 00:08:24,450 --> 00:08:27,740 No, this isn't a prank call. Hello? Hello? 147 00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:30,480 I don't care if you have an audition for Equus. 148 00:08:30,570 --> 00:08:32,360 Get over here now! 149 00:08:32,450 --> 00:08:34,330 I don't understand how he got rid of his tattoo. 150 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,940 Good news, I managed to get through to the local sheriff's department. 151 00:08:40,030 --> 00:08:41,490 It seems there's an escaped cow 152 00:08:41,570 --> 00:08:43,400 from a local dairy farm giving them the runaround, 153 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,580 but they assured me they'll send someone as soon as they're able. 154 00:08:52,150 --> 00:08:54,070 [tires screech] 155 00:08:54,820 --> 00:08:56,650 [doorbell rings] 156 00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:58,700 They must have made quick work of that cow. 157 00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:08,570 May I help you, ma'am? 158 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:10,870 Sir. Uh. 159 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,200 [in falsetto] I'm Nurse Lucafont. 160 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,910 Nurse Lucafont. 161 00:09:13,990 --> 00:09:18,030 From the local sheriff's department's medical examiner's office? 162 00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:19,650 From the local... 163 00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:21,780 [mouthing indistinctly] 164 00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:26,190 I hear there's been a terrible accident involving a snake. 165 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,830 [Mr. Poe] That was fast. I only just now made the call. 166 00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:30,440 I believe, uh... 167 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,120 speed is of the essence in an emergency, sir. 168 00:09:37,990 --> 00:09:39,580 Could I get a cup of coffee? 169 00:09:40,990 --> 00:09:43,330 Don't you want to examine the body? 170 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,480 [Lucafont] Right, the body. Lead the way. 171 00:09:45,570 --> 00:09:48,570 It's right over here in the Reptile Room. 172 00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:55,910 [clears throat] Excuse me, but why are you wearing that mask over your face? 173 00:09:55,990 --> 00:09:59,910 I heard there were reptiles. They... they might be contagious. 174 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:03,870 Reptiles aren't contagious. Are you sure you're a qualified nurse? 175 00:10:03,950 --> 00:10:05,910 Maybe the children should wait outside. 176 00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:09,120 Being in a room with a dead body could be very traumatic. 177 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,080 We've already been in a room with a dead body thanks to you. 178 00:10:12,150 --> 00:10:14,860 Oh, yes, thank you, Stephano, for that excellent point. 179 00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:18,580 I must say, you show genuine compassion for these children. 180 00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:19,860 I appreciate it. 181 00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:22,740 Perhaps I will wait out here with the children 182 00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:25,400 while you and Nurse Lucafont go in and examine the body. 183 00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:26,660 The body? 184 00:10:27,610 --> 00:10:32,070 Ah, yes, perhaps we should both wait with the children. 185 00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:34,400 I wouldn't want Nurse Lucafont to be alone. 186 00:10:34,490 --> 00:10:38,120 Oh, I'm sure a nurse has seen plenty of dead bodies. [chuckling] 187 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,490 Maybe I can wait with the children, too. 188 00:10:40,570 --> 00:10:42,770 Well, that won't work. Who will perform the examination? 189 00:10:42,860 --> 00:10:45,230 Why don't Klaus, Sunny and I wait with Mr. Poe, 190 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:48,270 while Stephano goes with Nurse Lucafont to examine the body? 191 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,530 No, child, please. 192 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:57,320 If I were standing closer to you... I would slap you in the throat. 193 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,980 That does sound like the best plan. 194 00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:01,820 Fine. Right this way, nurse. 195 00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:08,870 But remember, I will be just on the other side of this door. 196 00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:10,080 [door shuts] 197 00:11:11,450 --> 00:11:13,160 Oh, I'm sorry, children. 198 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,780 Dr. Montgomery did seem like an appropriate guardian for you. 199 00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:22,110 He was more than that. He was much, much more than appropriate. 200 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:27,070 Please don't let him be our new guardian. 201 00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:29,320 Oh, don't be silly, children. 202 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,940 It is quite shocking that Dr. Montgomery has died, 203 00:11:32,030 --> 00:11:36,330 but I'm not going to simply just hand you and your fortune over to his assistant. 204 00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:41,370 Not without some very thorough paperwork. 205 00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:43,370 [Lucafont screams] 206 00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:46,980 [continues screaming] 207 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:50,740 [Mr. Poe] What's happened? What's wrong? 208 00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:53,230 Nurse Lucafont was startled by a lizard. 209 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,980 -It's a reptile room. -I didn't know that meant literally. 210 00:11:57,070 --> 00:12:02,020 Anyway, you've come just in time. The nurse has just finished her autopsy. 211 00:12:02,110 --> 00:12:04,650 -Did you determine the cause of death? -Snakebite. 212 00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:06,080 [Klaus] Are you sure? 213 00:12:06,150 --> 00:12:09,770 Uh, two bite marks on his cheek. Only a snake could've done that. 214 00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:13,070 -How terribly tragic. Case closed. -But Uncle Monty is... 215 00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:15,570 was one of the world's leading herpetologists. 216 00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:18,020 He would know better than to let a dangerous snake bite him. 217 00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:19,770 I tested his blood. 218 00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:25,570 In his veins, I found the venom of one of the most dangerous snakes in the world. 219 00:12:25,650 --> 00:12:27,400 Good heavens, which one? 220 00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:32,580 The incredibly deadly viper. 221 00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:35,330 That's impossible. 222 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,110 The incredibly deadly viper is one of the least dangerous 223 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,530 and most friendly creatures in the entire animal kingdom. 224 00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:44,020 Come now, Violet. It's called the incredibly deadly viper. 225 00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:45,360 It's a misnomer. 226 00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:48,740 Uncle Monty named it that to scare his colleagues at the Herpetological Society. 227 00:12:48,820 --> 00:12:52,480 He sounds highly unstable. Not good guardian material. 228 00:12:52,570 --> 00:12:55,070 He was a wonderful, caring person. 229 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,860 And the incredibly deadly viper wouldn't hurt anyone and we can prove it. 230 00:12:57,950 --> 00:13:01,280 How can you prove it when you don't even know where it is? 231 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,440 Of course we know where it is. It's... right... 232 00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:09,660 Hmm, fleeing the scene of a crime? Highly suspicious. 233 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,330 [Mr. Poe] It's all falling into place. 234 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,610 Dr. Montgomery must have forgotten to lock the cage properly, 235 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:19,740 allowing the viper to slip out and kill him. 236 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,940 I suppose we'll never know what Dr. Montgomery did 237 00:13:22,030 --> 00:13:24,530 to trigger the bloodlust in its reptile brain. 238 00:13:24,610 --> 00:13:26,610 I myself know nothing about snakes. 239 00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:29,990 I only got here just recently and scarcely have had time to learn. 240 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:33,400 But I hear the slimy creatures can hold a grudge. 241 00:13:33,490 --> 00:13:35,780 [normal voice] That's the trouble with exotic pets. 242 00:13:35,860 --> 00:13:37,650 Maybe nature isn't meant to be tamed. 243 00:13:39,030 --> 00:13:40,530 What did you say your name was again? 244 00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:43,270 -[in falsetto] I'm Doctor Lucafont. -Nurse. 245 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,440 -Nurse Lucafont. -Sorry, uh, what was that? 246 00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:46,910 I'm Nurse Lucafont. 247 00:13:46,990 --> 00:13:48,330 I can't understand you under your mask. 248 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,730 -[normal voice] I said I'm Nurse Lucafont. -[shushes] 249 00:13:51,490 --> 00:13:53,410 Mr. Poe, that's not a nurse at all. 250 00:13:53,490 --> 00:13:55,280 [Violet] It's one of Count Olaf's accomplices. 251 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,860 You mean the hook-handed man who worked as my temporary secretary 252 00:13:57,950 --> 00:13:59,370 and broke the typewriter? 253 00:13:59,450 --> 00:14:01,370 -No. -Well, I've never met any others. 254 00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:04,780 [chuckling] Besides, I'm sure Count Olaf is hundreds of miles away. 255 00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:06,730 Or inches. [chuckles] 256 00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:08,900 Exactly. What was that? 257 00:14:08,990 --> 00:14:15,370 I mean, the incredibly deadly viper may be inches away, ready to strike again. 258 00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:17,700 -[iguana clock screeching] -It's struck again. 259 00:14:20,950 --> 00:14:22,280 [Violet] It's the screeching iguana clock. 260 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:23,820 [Klaus] It struck again. 261 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:28,480 Oh, will you look at the time? Well, the SS Prospero departs at 5:00 p.m. 262 00:14:28,570 --> 00:14:31,440 You better go upstairs, children, and pack for your Peruvian adventure. 263 00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:33,580 Mr. Poe, we can't go with Stephano. 264 00:14:33,650 --> 00:14:36,230 We don't have the proper paperwork you mentioned. 265 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,730 [Mr. Poe] She's right. You do seem like a good person, 266 00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:40,690 but the childrens' adventures abroad will have to wait. 267 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,080 Come on, we really need to be going. 268 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,770 [normal voice] You're not going anywhere. 269 00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:46,650 -And why not? -[coughs] 270 00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:48,620 [as Stephano] Because no one is leaving this house 271 00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:52,490 with a snake on the loose. Right, nurse? 272 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,820 [stammers] Yeah. Absolutely. 273 00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:57,110 -But that's absurd. -That's absurd? 274 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,120 I'm already late for the bank and I'm up for a very important promotion. 275 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,370 The bank will have to wait. 276 00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:03,240 When your back was turned just now, 277 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:08,230 Nurse Lucafont informed me that this entire place is under lockdown. 278 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:12,020 -You mean... -Yes! A quarantine! 279 00:15:13,030 --> 00:15:15,700 [sighs] Your turn. 280 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,320 -[coughs] -What? 281 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,400 -[radio static crackles] -A quarantine! 282 00:15:31,990 --> 00:15:33,200 [all gasp] 283 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,860 -[radio feedback] -How long is that going to take? 284 00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:41,450 Uh, the police. It's in their hands now. 285 00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:43,280 -[doorbell rings] -Oh, that must be them. 286 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:47,410 I must say, these are some impressive response times for a house in the country. 287 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,620 Mobile Crime Lab. 288 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,440 At your service. 289 00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:54,900 -[both] We always get our man. -Or snake. 290 00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:58,700 -These are Count Olaf's accomplices. -And they're all wearing costumes. 291 00:15:58,780 --> 00:16:00,080 No, children, these are adults. 292 00:16:00,150 --> 00:16:02,650 Adults don't wear costumes unless it's for a charity ball, 293 00:16:02,740 --> 00:16:04,330 or they happen to be employed as actors. 294 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,480 They are employed as actors. 295 00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:07,860 You two, create a perimeter. 296 00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:10,950 No one goes in or out of the house until the reptile is caught. 297 00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:14,700 You two, get that body in the van and back to the ME for some TLC before it's DOA. 298 00:16:15,570 --> 00:16:17,570 But you said no one could leave the house. 299 00:16:17,650 --> 00:16:19,440 [Olaf sighs] 300 00:16:19,530 --> 00:16:22,030 I meant, uh, no one except you. 301 00:16:22,110 --> 00:16:23,230 Oh! 302 00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:29,160 Don't you recognize him? That's the hook-handed man. 303 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,530 And those two women were in Count Olaf's play. 304 00:16:31,610 --> 00:16:34,270 Oh, children, it's rude to question police authority. 305 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,860 Besides, the women in that play had ghastly theatrical makeup on their faces, 306 00:16:37,950 --> 00:16:41,450 and this man is opening a can of peaches with hands, not hooks. 307 00:16:41,530 --> 00:16:43,950 That's Uncle Monty's food. Stop eating his food. 308 00:16:44,030 --> 00:16:45,950 I was only gonna have a few peaches. 309 00:16:46,030 --> 00:16:49,780 The children lost their uncle today. I'm sure you can understand. 310 00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:52,190 Violet, Klaus, Sunny, why don't you wait upstairs. 311 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:53,660 The adults will take care of it from here. 312 00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:55,030 But Mr. Poe-- 313 00:16:55,110 --> 00:16:58,110 The adults will take care of it from here. 314 00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,450 Come on, Klaus. 315 00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:02,450 The adults won't take care of anything. But we will. 316 00:17:02,530 --> 00:17:03,950 [shooing] 317 00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:07,830 [sighs] 318 00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:13,320 Now, please, work quickly. I need to get back to the bank. 319 00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:35,900 If you have ever been left out of an important conversation due to your age, 320 00:17:35,990 --> 00:17:38,410 then you know how the Baudelaires felt as they trudged up the stairs, 321 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:41,990 unable to participate in the conversation that would determine their fate. 322 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,900 So they decided to hold their own. 323 00:17:44,990 --> 00:17:47,990 We know the incredibly deadly viper didn't kill Uncle Monty. 324 00:17:48,070 --> 00:17:51,020 And we know that Count Olaf did. Mr. Poe would never believe us. 325 00:17:51,110 --> 00:17:52,610 Not without evidence and proof. 326 00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:53,950 Nurse Lucafont may be a fake nurse, 327 00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:56,780 but Uncle Monty had two bite marks like a snake would make. 328 00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:57,980 I saw them this morning. 329 00:17:58,070 --> 00:18:00,480 I saw the incredibly deadly viper this morning, too. 330 00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:01,570 It was in its cage. 331 00:18:01,650 --> 00:18:03,980 While we were at the parlor, Count Olaf must have set it loose. 332 00:18:04,070 --> 00:18:05,070 Or worse. 333 00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:09,690 I'm sure it's okay, Sunny. I know you two were close. 334 00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:11,120 If we could find the snake... 335 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,660 If we could find out how Monty really died... 336 00:18:12,740 --> 00:18:15,530 -We could prove that it's innocent. -And that Stephano is guilty. 337 00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:18,440 And Mr. Poe would have to have Count Olaf arrested. 338 00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,780 -We wouldn't have to go to Peru. -[sighs] 339 00:18:21,610 --> 00:18:24,320 If we'd found proof earlier, maybe we could have saved Uncle Monty. 340 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,690 [sighs] If we put Count Olaf behind bars, 341 00:18:26,780 --> 00:18:29,080 we can still stop him from harming anyone else. 342 00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:30,150 Including us. 343 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,830 Do you think you can get back inside the Reptile Room? 344 00:18:36,820 --> 00:18:38,320 I think I might have a way. 345 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,440 It is now necessary for me to use the hackneyed phrase, 346 00:18:43,530 --> 00:18:45,370 "meanwhile back at the ranch." 347 00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:46,780 The word "hackneyed" here means 348 00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:49,940 "used by so many writers, it is a tiresome cliché," 349 00:18:50,030 --> 00:18:52,370 while "meanwhile back at the ranch" is a phrase used to link 350 00:18:52,450 --> 00:18:54,950 what is going on in one part of a story with another part, 351 00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:57,580 and has nothing to do with cows or creamy salad dressing. 352 00:18:57,650 --> 00:18:59,480 When I say, "Meanwhile back at the ranch," 353 00:18:59,570 --> 00:19:02,860 what I mean is, meanwhile, back in the Reptile Room, 354 00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:06,120 the adults were having an adult conversation. 355 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,370 If we place the peaches in a line leading up to the cage, 356 00:19:09,450 --> 00:19:12,530 perhaps the snake will follow the trail and then we can trap it inside. 357 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,400 -Do snakes eat peaches? -Yes. 358 00:19:14,490 --> 00:19:16,160 Maybe we can use the baby. 359 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,120 Keep the banker distracted. 360 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,240 Oh, you know, these are so good for your skin. 361 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:22,730 -Are they? -You wanna try? 362 00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:24,320 -No, thank you. No, really. -Ah... 363 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,940 -I don't... No. Oh, that's... -Mmm. Mmm! 364 00:19:43,990 --> 00:19:47,160 Oh, orphans, our ship awaits. 365 00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:51,200 Orphans? 366 00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:54,410 [door creaks open] 367 00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:06,700 [Lemony] "Labyrinth" is a word which means "maze full of secrets and danger," 368 00:20:06,780 --> 00:20:08,120 and if you're in ancient Greece, 369 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,410 "a monster that is half bull and extremely unpleasant." 370 00:20:11,490 --> 00:20:13,870 The hedge labyrinth behind Dr. Montgomery's house 371 00:20:13,950 --> 00:20:15,660 didn't contain a monster. 372 00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:17,160 But as Klaus looked down at it, 373 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,870 seeing the way the hedges snaked to form a familiar sinister eye, 374 00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:24,080 it seemed to contain both secrets and danger. 375 00:20:24,570 --> 00:20:27,730 Secrets their Uncle Monty had promised to share... 376 00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:30,650 and the danger of being so high off the ground. 377 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,730 -[Klaus gasps] -[thudding] 378 00:20:32,820 --> 00:20:34,440 The reptiles certainly seem-- 379 00:20:34,530 --> 00:20:35,700 -Agitated. -Annoyed. 380 00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:38,870 -Mmm. Maybe they're hungry. -Maybe they're upset about the murder. 381 00:20:38,950 --> 00:20:41,200 Well, they're animals. I hardly think they're aware of anything. 382 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,120 Did you say "murder"? 383 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,990 -I meant accident. -Ah, yes, well... 384 00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:48,900 I'm certainly upset about being late for the bank, 385 00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:51,620 so let's hurry this thing along. Has anyone seen Stephano? 386 00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:54,280 Uh, he just went to make some coffee. 387 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:55,980 [Mr. Poe] Coffee. Oh, how considerate. 388 00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:59,020 Dr. Montgomery insisted I drive out here first thing in the morning. 389 00:20:59,110 --> 00:21:03,270 That was when he was alive, of course, and I didn't have time for my morning cup. 390 00:21:04,110 --> 00:21:05,770 [Lucafont] I know how you feel. 391 00:21:05,860 --> 00:21:09,940 My boss made me come here right away. I had to miss an important audition. 392 00:21:10,030 --> 00:21:11,370 [Mr. Poe] Audition? 393 00:21:11,450 --> 00:21:14,580 [Lucafont] I mean autopsy. It's medical slang. 394 00:21:14,650 --> 00:21:17,860 -[Mr. Poe] That seems strange. -[Lucafont] Oh, it's totally normal. 395 00:21:17,950 --> 00:21:20,410 We have lots of slang in the ol' med biz. 396 00:21:20,490 --> 00:21:22,700 That's slang for medical business. 397 00:21:22,780 --> 00:21:27,240 We call doctors "doc," and dead bodies "corpses." 398 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,770 [Mr. Poe] Ah, I suppose... 399 00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:30,400 Even though Uncle Monty's body had been removed, 400 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:34,160 the Reptile Room was not as inviting to Klaus as it had been the day before. 401 00:21:35,070 --> 00:21:38,150 What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for it, 402 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,990 just as ink can stain a white sheet of paper. 403 00:21:41,070 --> 00:21:42,770 [Mr. Poe speaking indistinctly] 404 00:21:43,860 --> 00:21:46,820 You can never forget what transpired in that place... 405 00:21:47,780 --> 00:21:50,200 just as words in ink can never be unwritten. 406 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,450 [Mr. Poe] Oh, perhaps I should check on the children. 407 00:21:52,530 --> 00:21:54,410 Look over there! 408 00:21:54,490 --> 00:21:56,280 [Mr. Poe] Where? What am I looking at? 409 00:21:59,450 --> 00:22:01,870 [hook-handed man] It's the incredibly deadly viper. 410 00:22:01,950 --> 00:22:03,240 [Mr. Poe] In that cage? But it's locked. 411 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:04,610 [white-faced woman 1] Must've crawled inside. 412 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:05,910 [white-faced woman 2] Locked the cage behind it. 413 00:22:05,990 --> 00:22:08,450 [Mr. Poe] But a snake can't operate a lock by itself. 414 00:22:08,530 --> 00:22:12,160 -[Lucafont] Maybe a lizard helped it. -[Mr. Poe] That seems unlikely. 415 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,240 Besides, that cage is clearly marked "Virginian Wolfsnake." 416 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,320 I must say, I'm beginning to doubt your qualifications. 417 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,070 I'm totally a nurse. 418 00:22:20,150 --> 00:22:22,190 [Mr. Poe] Well, it does say so on your pin. 419 00:22:25,780 --> 00:22:26,780 [clatters] 420 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,400 -What was that? -That didn't sound like a snake. 421 00:22:30,490 --> 00:22:32,030 [hook-handed man] Exactly. 422 00:22:32,110 --> 00:22:33,650 [screeching] 423 00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:36,240 [Mr. Poe] That's just the screeching iguana clock. 424 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,320 It was not the screeching iguana clock. 425 00:22:41,030 --> 00:22:43,030 [screeching continues] 426 00:22:47,610 --> 00:22:48,820 [inaudible] 427 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:50,570 [Lemony] To fully understand the ghastly scene 428 00:22:50,650 --> 00:22:52,270 the adults discovered in the parlor, 429 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,860 it is useful to once again use the phrase "meanwhile back at the ranch," 430 00:22:54,950 --> 00:22:57,450 which in this case means "upstairs." 431 00:23:01,490 --> 00:23:03,080 And about six minutes earlier. 432 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:15,080 Oh, orphans, our ship awaits. 433 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:18,410 Orphans? 434 00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:30,410 [Lemony] Years later, Klaus Baudelaire would often lie in bed, 435 00:23:30,490 --> 00:23:32,370 filled with regret that he never yelled 436 00:23:32,450 --> 00:23:35,160 "That man is Count Olaf" to his uncle at the movies, 437 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,530 or over Chinese food, or from under his canoe. 438 00:23:37,610 --> 00:23:40,730 And while I cannot say that Violet slept any easier, 439 00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:43,520 she was luckier than her brother in one respect. 440 00:23:43,610 --> 00:23:48,270 She knew that the time to act was now. And she would not regret it. 441 00:23:51,990 --> 00:23:54,530 You'll be comfortable here. Do you think you can watch the door? 442 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,410 Do you think you can help me out? 443 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,120 [soft jackhammer noise] 444 00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:32,910 Thanks, Sunny. 445 00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:54,660 [snake hissing] 446 00:24:58,530 --> 00:25:00,410 [snake hissing] 447 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:07,490 Sunny? 448 00:25:08,070 --> 00:25:09,980 I'd say partly cloudy. 449 00:25:10,860 --> 00:25:13,320 I thought you were supposed to be a nice girl. 450 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,730 Nice girls aren't supposed to dig through people's personal, private property. 451 00:25:16,820 --> 00:25:18,730 Especially when it's... Wasn't it locked? 452 00:25:18,820 --> 00:25:20,520 -It was. -Oh, how clever. 453 00:25:20,610 --> 00:25:22,320 But I bet you're not clever enough for this. 454 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,770 I have four tickets with me to Peru right now. 455 00:25:24,860 --> 00:25:26,480 I was going to take you and your siblings, 456 00:25:26,570 --> 00:25:28,770 because that's just the kind of guardian I am. 457 00:25:30,150 --> 00:25:32,940 But I'll settle for one of you. 458 00:25:33,030 --> 00:25:36,160 -[screeching] -That's the screeching iguana clock. 459 00:25:36,780 --> 00:25:38,280 -[screeching] -What is... 460 00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:39,270 [groans] 461 00:25:46,450 --> 00:25:48,370 Which brings us back to... 462 00:25:49,820 --> 00:25:51,110 Goodness, golly, good God, 463 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,410 Mary and Joseph, Zeus and Hera, Nathaniel Hawthorne! 464 00:25:54,490 --> 00:25:56,200 -[snake hissing] -[Sunny cooing] 465 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,490 -[bald man] Which snake is it? -It's the incredibly deadly viper. 466 00:25:58,570 --> 00:26:00,980 Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! 467 00:26:01,070 --> 00:26:02,730 Kill the snake! Leave it alone! 468 00:26:02,820 --> 00:26:04,900 Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! 469 00:26:04,990 --> 00:26:09,120 [shrieks] It bit her! It's bitten her! It bited her! 470 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,700 Calm down! Get moving! Call an ambulance! 471 00:26:11,780 --> 00:26:14,450 Call a scientist! Call my wife! 472 00:26:14,530 --> 00:26:15,990 This is ghastly! 473 00:26:16,070 --> 00:26:19,360 This is phantasmagorical! [inhales deeply] 474 00:26:19,450 --> 00:26:22,490 You are police officers! Do something! 475 00:26:22,570 --> 00:26:25,070 -It... it looks like the baby's playing. -Mmm-hmm. 476 00:26:25,150 --> 00:26:26,650 [giggling] 477 00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:29,440 With the incredibly deadly viper? 478 00:26:29,530 --> 00:26:33,200 From the expedition journal of Dr. Montgomery Montgomery, April 24th. 479 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,660 "The incredibly deadly viper wouldn't hurt a fly. 480 00:26:35,740 --> 00:26:38,240 I know this because I tried to feed it flies this morning. 481 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,400 It is friendly and kind, playful and smart, 482 00:26:40,490 --> 00:26:42,370 and if you can get past your first impression, 483 00:26:42,450 --> 00:26:44,280 it can make a wonderful addition to the family." 484 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,820 And therefore, it cannot have killed Uncle Monty. 485 00:26:46,900 --> 00:26:49,980 Well, I guess it does look rather harmless. 486 00:26:50,070 --> 00:26:51,820 That doesn't change anything. 487 00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:54,820 There are still plenty of deadly types of snakes in that room 488 00:26:54,900 --> 00:26:55,770 that could have done it. 489 00:26:55,860 --> 00:26:58,070 The mamba du mal bites as it strangles. 490 00:26:58,150 --> 00:27:01,190 The irascible python is homicidally grumpy. 491 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:05,030 The Virginian wolfsnake can bludgeon you to death with a typewriter. 492 00:27:05,110 --> 00:27:06,690 How do you know? 493 00:27:06,780 --> 00:27:08,990 Because I read up on all types of snakes 494 00:27:09,070 --> 00:27:12,900 in the library section of the Reptile Room. 495 00:27:12,990 --> 00:27:16,030 -[whispers] Psst, boss. -Don't interrupt me while I'm talking. 496 00:27:16,110 --> 00:27:21,650 If I may say so myself, I am quite the expert on the snakes. 497 00:27:22,820 --> 00:27:25,610 [shudders] What does it say? 498 00:27:25,700 --> 00:27:28,160 She said, "Ah-ha!" because she's figured something out. 499 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:29,950 I myself know nothing about snakes. 500 00:27:30,030 --> 00:27:32,120 [Klaus] You said you didn't know anything about snakes. 501 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,450 I... That is-- 502 00:27:34,530 --> 00:27:37,700 That's right. Stephano, explain... [coughing] 503 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:46,020 -We need a plan. -Should we kill him? 504 00:27:46,110 --> 00:27:48,230 He is coughing a lot. Let's see if he dies of natural causes. 505 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,150 -Mmm. -[coughing] 506 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,780 [groans] 507 00:27:52,860 --> 00:27:54,270 Explain yourself. 508 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:58,400 The reason that I said I did not know anything about the snakes, 509 00:27:58,490 --> 00:28:00,870 is because I was being modest. 510 00:28:00,950 --> 00:28:02,030 You weren't being modest. 511 00:28:02,110 --> 00:28:04,150 You haven't been modest a day in your life. You were lying. 512 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:05,740 Klaus, you can't speak to an adult that way. 513 00:28:05,820 --> 00:28:07,150 And he's lying now. 514 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,620 He's a liar and a murderer and he killed Uncle Monty. 515 00:28:09,700 --> 00:28:12,450 [gasps] You have no proof. 516 00:28:13,740 --> 00:28:14,740 Yes, we do. 517 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,280 What is all this? 518 00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:20,770 Evidence, which I found in Stephano's suitcase. 519 00:28:20,860 --> 00:28:22,110 She picked the lock. 520 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,200 -Violet, is that true? -It was an emergency. 521 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,200 Nice girls shouldn't know how to do that sort of thing. 522 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:27,280 That's what I said. 523 00:28:27,360 --> 00:28:30,650 My sister is a nice girl... and she knows how to do all sorts of things. 524 00:28:30,740 --> 00:28:32,580 We'll discuss this later. Please continue. 525 00:28:32,650 --> 00:28:35,770 When Uncle Monty died, we were immediately suspicious. 526 00:28:35,860 --> 00:28:39,190 [Klaus] We were positive that Stephano killed Uncle Monty. 527 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,620 But there were bite marks on his cheek clearly from a snake. 528 00:28:41,700 --> 00:28:42,990 [Violet] That stumped me, too. 529 00:28:43,070 --> 00:28:45,070 That's why I decided to search Stephano's suitcase. 530 00:28:45,150 --> 00:28:47,610 I knew he wouldn't want to leave any evidence behind. 531 00:28:47,700 --> 00:28:49,530 And that's when I found these. 532 00:28:49,610 --> 00:28:53,190 [Stephano] But that's nothing. It's my random junk collection, 533 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,080 which is private property, illegally obtained, 534 00:28:56,150 --> 00:28:57,820 and therefore not admissible in court. 535 00:28:57,900 --> 00:29:01,110 It does look like junk. But that's when I noticed this. 536 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:04,950 Uncle Monty told us that he keeps venom samples in his cabinet 537 00:29:05,030 --> 00:29:07,580 from every venomous snake known to man. 538 00:29:07,650 --> 00:29:09,940 -And woman. -And woman. 539 00:29:10,030 --> 00:29:12,870 Mr. Poe, I believe if you open that cabinet right there, 540 00:29:12,950 --> 00:29:15,410 you'll find a sample is missing. 541 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:17,980 There's an empty spot on the shelf. 542 00:29:18,070 --> 00:29:20,770 The label says "Mamba du Mal." 543 00:29:20,860 --> 00:29:24,190 "The mamba du mal is one of the deadliest snakes in the hemisphere, 544 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:25,870 known for its powerful venom." 545 00:29:27,530 --> 00:29:28,660 Then it's obvious. 546 00:29:28,740 --> 00:29:32,990 The mamba du mal got out of its cage, stole a vial of its own venom, 547 00:29:33,070 --> 00:29:35,360 and murdered Dr. Montgomery in cold blood. 548 00:29:35,450 --> 00:29:36,370 Ah-ha! 549 00:29:37,150 --> 00:29:38,480 Wait, that's ridiculous. 550 00:29:38,570 --> 00:29:41,650 -But the bite marks-- -[Violet] Aren't bite marks at all. 551 00:29:41,740 --> 00:29:44,410 When I first saw these items, I wasn't sure how they fit together. 552 00:29:44,490 --> 00:29:47,580 So, I concentrated on each item as if they were parts of a machine. 553 00:29:47,650 --> 00:29:50,190 And that's when I realized they fit together. 554 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:54,080 Ladies and gentlemen, the murder weapon. 555 00:29:54,150 --> 00:29:55,150 [all gasp] 556 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:56,280 -Incredible! -Astounding! 557 00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:00,270 Stephano used this double-barrel syringe to inject the venom into Uncle Monty, 558 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:04,190 to simulate the double puncture marks of a snake. 559 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,990 Then he disassembled it to hide the evidence. 560 00:30:07,070 --> 00:30:08,570 But I loved Dr. Montgomery. 561 00:30:08,650 --> 00:30:10,570 What motive would I possibly have to murder him? 562 00:30:10,650 --> 00:30:12,650 He's after the Baudelaire fortune. 563 00:30:12,740 --> 00:30:14,830 How would Stephano even know about the Baudelaire fortune? 564 00:30:14,900 --> 00:30:17,150 I thought they were penniless orphans. 565 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,370 They certainly dress like penniless orphans. 566 00:30:19,450 --> 00:30:22,370 That's because everything we owned burned up in a fire. 567 00:30:22,950 --> 00:30:25,030 But you already know about that... 568 00:30:25,110 --> 00:30:28,190 because you're not Stephano, you're Count Olaf. 569 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:29,530 [all gasp] 570 00:30:29,610 --> 00:30:33,360 The kid detective thing is cute, but we have already dismissed that theory. 571 00:30:33,450 --> 00:30:34,950 We'll see about that. 572 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,580 Your left ankle, sir. 573 00:30:38,650 --> 00:30:40,320 Don't come near me with that thing. 574 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,570 You've been coughing germs into it all day. 575 00:30:42,650 --> 00:30:44,440 Oh, if you're really who the children say you are, 576 00:30:44,530 --> 00:30:46,240 then germs are the least of your problem. 577 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,860 Your left ankle... please. 578 00:30:52,950 --> 00:30:54,620 If you insist. 579 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,700 For the first time in my life, I'm happy to see that awful tattoo. 580 00:31:33,490 --> 00:31:34,740 Bravo, children. 581 00:31:35,820 --> 00:31:39,110 Yes, I admit it. I killed Monty. 582 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:43,700 I also killed his assistant, Gustav. I drowned him in the reflecting pond. 583 00:31:43,780 --> 00:31:47,870 The question is... what are you going to do about it? 584 00:31:47,950 --> 00:31:52,160 I'm going to send you to jail for a very long time. 585 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,200 Officers, arrest this man! 586 00:31:56,950 --> 00:31:59,200 No, office... Officers. 587 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:00,700 Oh, you're all in on it, aren't you? 588 00:32:01,450 --> 00:32:03,240 Oh. Oh, dear. 589 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:05,730 If this were a piece of filmed entertainment for small children 590 00:32:05,820 --> 00:32:08,110 you would know what happens next. 591 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,530 With the villain's identity and evil plan exposed, 592 00:32:10,610 --> 00:32:11,900 the police would arrive on the scene 593 00:32:11,990 --> 00:32:13,530 and place him in jail for the rest of his life. 594 00:32:13,610 --> 00:32:15,610 The plucky youngsters would go out for pizza. 595 00:32:15,700 --> 00:32:19,700 But I can tell you that's as likely as Dr. Montgomery returning to life. 596 00:32:19,780 --> 00:32:22,490 Still, while Dr. Montgomery may be dead... 597 00:32:22,570 --> 00:32:26,270 If you don't mind, I'll be taking the children with me. 598 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,520 [Lemony] ...the reptiles in his collection... 599 00:32:28,610 --> 00:32:29,820 [growling] 600 00:32:29,900 --> 00:32:31,270 -were very much alive. -[hissing] 601 00:32:32,570 --> 00:32:33,730 Oh. 602 00:32:33,820 --> 00:32:36,150 -Boss. -[screeching] 603 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,910 That's just the screeching iguana clock. 604 00:32:39,990 --> 00:32:42,450 It's not the screeching iguana clock. 605 00:32:42,530 --> 00:32:44,120 It's the screeching iguana! 606 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:45,580 [hissing loudly] 607 00:32:50,110 --> 00:32:52,320 -[screeching] -[whimpers] 608 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,320 -[panicked chattering] -[screaming] 609 00:32:57,700 --> 00:32:59,490 Take the van. Make sure they follow you. 610 00:32:59,570 --> 00:33:02,360 -But where are you going, boss? -International waters. 611 00:33:03,740 --> 00:33:04,870 [engine starts] 612 00:33:10,700 --> 00:33:12,620 Count Olaf is driving away. 613 00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:15,120 No, he's not. He's heading into the labyrinth. 614 00:33:17,740 --> 00:33:19,660 I suppose there wasn't room in the van. 615 00:33:19,740 --> 00:33:21,120 What are you waiting for? Go after him! 616 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,870 [stammering] This is a job for the police. 617 00:33:23,950 --> 00:33:25,740 I'll go call them. I'm sure they'll... 618 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,110 set up a roadblock, or something. 619 00:33:28,990 --> 00:33:30,530 [Klaus] He's not getting away. 620 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,700 [panting] 621 00:33:34,780 --> 00:33:35,870 Go right. 622 00:33:46,450 --> 00:33:47,950 [panting] 623 00:34:02,740 --> 00:34:04,490 You go that way. We can cut him off. 624 00:34:23,490 --> 00:34:24,490 [Klaus] It's a dead end. 625 00:34:24,570 --> 00:34:27,730 That's impossible. We can retrace our steps. 626 00:34:27,820 --> 00:34:30,940 What's the point? It's all wrong. 627 00:34:31,030 --> 00:34:32,910 Count Olaf escaped. Uncle Monty is dead. 628 00:34:32,990 --> 00:34:35,580 We never got to go to Peru or say goodbye. 629 00:34:35,650 --> 00:34:37,650 Or ask him about this. 630 00:34:37,740 --> 00:34:39,370 Klaus, what is that? 631 00:34:39,450 --> 00:34:41,120 [Klaus] It's Uncle Monty's handwriting. 632 00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,120 He must have copied it down during the movie. 633 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:44,410 We were right next to him. 634 00:34:44,490 --> 00:34:46,120 If he got a message, we would've seen it. 635 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:47,910 Not if he had some secret way to receive it. 636 00:34:47,990 --> 00:34:51,830 Do you remember that strange object I found in the fire? I think it's... 637 00:34:51,900 --> 00:34:53,150 It's gone. 638 00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:55,660 I'll be taking the children with me. 639 00:34:57,490 --> 00:34:58,620 Count Olaf. 640 00:34:58,700 --> 00:34:59,870 [mechanical whirring] 641 00:35:13,240 --> 00:35:15,330 A good labyrinth is full of secrets. 642 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,940 -Who are you? -Why are you dressed as a statue? 643 00:35:18,030 --> 00:35:20,200 Both excellent questions, Baudelaires. 644 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:21,990 You're that actress from the weird zombie movie. 645 00:35:22,070 --> 00:35:23,360 You work for Mr. Poe. 646 00:35:23,450 --> 00:35:24,910 It's more of a volunteer position. 647 00:35:24,990 --> 00:35:27,330 I'm sorry I arrived too late to help your uncle. 648 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,400 But I can still bring Count Olaf to justice. 649 00:35:29,490 --> 00:35:31,330 [Klaus] Uncle Monty had a spyglass like that. 650 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,820 What was he trying to tell us? What's in Peru? 651 00:35:33,900 --> 00:35:35,360 Forget Peru. It's been compromised. 652 00:35:35,450 --> 00:35:38,950 Who sent him the message? Who were we supposed to meet there? 653 00:35:39,030 --> 00:35:40,700 I know you children have a great many questions, 654 00:35:40,780 --> 00:35:43,030 and I promise there are a great many answers. 655 00:35:43,110 --> 00:35:46,440 Find your Aunt Josephine. She's a fierce and formidable woman. 656 00:35:46,530 --> 00:35:49,240 She can keep you safe and tell you everything you need to know. 657 00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:50,770 Let me handle Count Olaf. 658 00:35:51,450 --> 00:35:55,490 Count Olaf stole something from me. I think it's part of a spyglass. 659 00:35:55,570 --> 00:35:56,940 It certainly is. 660 00:35:57,030 --> 00:36:00,530 I will get it back to you, Klaus Baudelaire. I promise. 661 00:36:21,150 --> 00:36:22,190 [Klaus] Who are you? 662 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,410 [Violet] What are they doing with Uncle Monty's reptiles? 663 00:36:24,490 --> 00:36:27,160 After I called the police, I rang up the Herpetological Society. 664 00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:30,120 They kindly offered to retrieve Dr. Montgomery's reptiles. 665 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:31,490 "Retrieve" means "take away." 666 00:36:31,570 --> 00:36:33,730 We know what retrieve means. Where are they taking them? 667 00:36:33,820 --> 00:36:36,360 Well, they're orphans now. So they'll be moving on to other homes 668 00:36:36,450 --> 00:36:39,120 where their guardians hopefully won't die on them like Dr. Montgomery. 669 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:40,620 Can we at least say goodbye? 670 00:36:40,700 --> 00:36:41,870 After what you've been through, 671 00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:44,740 I'd think you'd never want to see a reptile again. 672 00:36:44,820 --> 00:36:46,900 Besides, I have to take you to your next guardian. 673 00:36:46,990 --> 00:36:49,240 -No! -No! We know where we're going. 674 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:53,520 I know where you're going, too. And I'm the adult so I get to decide. 675 00:36:53,610 --> 00:36:55,820 -We're going to our Aunt Josephine. -To your Aunt Josephine. 676 00:36:56,740 --> 00:36:58,080 She's next on the list. 677 00:37:08,780 --> 00:37:10,660 [hissing] 678 00:37:15,490 --> 00:37:18,700 Mr. Poe, what can you tell us about your secretary? 679 00:37:18,780 --> 00:37:19,910 Oh, terrible disappointment. 680 00:37:19,990 --> 00:37:22,200 He turned out to be working for Count Olaf. Surely you remember. 681 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:26,080 -[Violet] No, your other secretary. -Who? Oh, Jacquelyn. 682 00:37:26,150 --> 00:37:29,980 Excellent typist. Unfortunate habit of disappearing for days at a time. 683 00:37:30,070 --> 00:37:32,190 I don't make it a habit of socializing with employees, 684 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:33,910 so that's really all I know. 685 00:37:34,610 --> 00:37:37,610 Other than the fact that she came highly recommended by your parents. 686 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,410 -[grunts] -[ship horn blows] 687 00:38:20,820 --> 00:38:22,320 [knocking on door] 688 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,230 [Jacquelyn] Telegram for a Mr. Count Olaf? 689 00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,820 It's just Count Olaf. 690 00:38:26,900 --> 00:38:29,190 Count is my honorific. 691 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:33,410 Calling me "Mr." is not only redundant, it's an insult to my station. 692 00:38:33,490 --> 00:38:34,620 Who... 693 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:39,230 Well, we meet again. You might want to ease up on the bronzer. 694 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,770 I hope you don't think you're going to Peru. 695 00:38:41,860 --> 00:38:43,020 [chuckles] 696 00:38:43,110 --> 00:38:44,570 Yessica Haircut. 697 00:38:44,650 --> 00:38:46,980 I find it helpful to leave the country now and then. 698 00:38:47,070 --> 00:38:50,860 See some ruins, wait for the manhunt to die down, eat some cuy. 699 00:38:50,950 --> 00:38:54,740 You won't be eating any cuy, unless it's served in a prison cafeteria. 700 00:38:54,820 --> 00:38:56,690 Why would I be eating in a prison cafeteria? 701 00:38:56,780 --> 00:38:58,120 Because I'm taking you to prison. 702 00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,080 Well, good luck with that. I'm armed. 703 00:39:00,150 --> 00:39:01,860 Hmm. So am I. 704 00:39:01,950 --> 00:39:05,620 -Hmm. Child's play. -Adorable. 705 00:39:06,950 --> 00:39:09,120 Is that a harpoon gun? 706 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:10,620 You'd never use it. 707 00:39:10,700 --> 00:39:13,330 One of your great gifts is your eminent compassion. 708 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,190 You wouldn't squash a spider. 709 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,490 I like spiders. 710 00:39:17,570 --> 00:39:19,820 Well, that's good, because there's one on your shoulder right now. 711 00:39:19,900 --> 00:39:21,020 I'm not falling for that. 712 00:39:21,110 --> 00:39:22,690 No, no, I'm serious. It's on your left shoulder. 713 00:39:22,780 --> 00:39:25,370 It's one of the bigger ones. I wanna say tarantula? Ugh. 714 00:39:27,990 --> 00:39:29,160 [grunting] 715 00:39:31,990 --> 00:39:35,370 -[groans] -You're not going anywhere, you snake. 716 00:39:35,450 --> 00:39:39,830 You're forgetting, my dear Jacquelyn, snakes shed their skin. 717 00:39:41,740 --> 00:39:43,410 [screaming] 718 00:39:44,570 --> 00:39:46,980 -[water splashing] -[seabirds squawking] 719 00:39:53,990 --> 00:39:56,830 [Lemony] There are times when the entire world seems wrong. 720 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,860 The way a reptile room without any reptiles... 721 00:40:02,450 --> 00:40:03,910 seems wrong. 722 00:40:08,700 --> 00:40:12,830 The way a bookshelf without any books seems wrong. 723 00:40:15,110 --> 00:40:16,820 Or a loved one's house... 724 00:40:17,820 --> 00:40:19,230 without the loved one. 725 00:40:20,030 --> 00:40:22,740 The Baudelaires weren't given much time with their Uncle Monty, 726 00:40:22,820 --> 00:40:24,400 which seemed wrong. 727 00:40:24,490 --> 00:40:26,160 Still, for the first time in a long time, 728 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:29,200 they'd found a place where the world seemed right, 729 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,240 if only for a short time. 730 00:40:33,070 --> 00:40:37,070 If they'd found that once, who's to say they couldn't find it again? 731 00:40:42,570 --> 00:40:45,190 -[phone ringing] -[lizard chirps] 732 00:40:48,110 --> 00:40:50,230 -[upbeat music playing] -[line continues ringing] 733 00:40:58,860 --> 00:41:01,150 -He's not answering. -Sure you've got the right number? 734 00:41:01,240 --> 00:41:03,280 Operator, can you check that number again, please? 735 00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:04,820 It's quite urgent. 736 00:41:04,900 --> 00:41:08,320 Yes. Thank you. First name, Montgomery. Last name, Montgomery. 737 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,690 -[music stops] -No, this isn't a crank call. 738 00:41:10,780 --> 00:41:12,160 [clears throat] 739 00:41:19,700 --> 00:41:21,700 Can I put you on hold for a moment? 740 00:41:28,650 --> 00:41:31,770 Which of you gentlemen knows where we might charter a plane? 741 00:41:35,990 --> 00:41:38,910 [instrumental theme music plays]