1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,000 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA www.PSArips.com 2 00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:14,610 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 3 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:18,260 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 4 00:00:18,350 --> 00:00:21,850 ♪ This show will wreck your evening Your whole life and your day ♪ 5 00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:25,510 ♪ Every single episode Is nothing but dismay ♪ 6 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:30,760 ♪ So look away Look away, look away ♪ 7 00:00:30,850 --> 00:00:33,970 ♪ The lumbermill is where the Baudelaires Are forced to work ♪ 8 00:00:34,060 --> 00:00:37,980 ♪ The eye doctor is sinister The owner is a jerk ♪ 9 00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:41,230 ♪ They end up in a fiendish plot With logs and hypnotism 10 00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:45,310 ♪ The very thought of watching Should be met with skepticism ♪ 11 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:49,800 ♪ Just look away, look away ♪ 12 00:00:49,890 --> 00:00:53,550 ♪ There's nothing but horror And inconvenience on the way ♪ 13 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,640 ♪ Ask any stable person "Should I watch?" And they will say ♪ 14 00:00:56,730 --> 00:01:01,940 ♪ Look away, look away, look away ♪ 15 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:05,310 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 16 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:08,850 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 17 00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:12,350 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 18 00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:20,980 [Mr. Poe coughing] 19 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:25,390 [crying gently] 20 00:01:28,890 --> 00:01:33,010 [sniveling] I've called every town, business and bus stop 21 00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:37,180 within 100 miles of Lake Lachrymose, and no one has seen the Baudelaires. 22 00:01:37,270 --> 00:01:38,900 [continues coughing] 23 00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:42,810 I'm finished, Eleanora! 24 00:01:42,890 --> 00:01:46,970 [gasping] If I hadn't lost those orphans, I'd be getting a promotion right now. 25 00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:51,140 [sobs] Mr. Tamerlane is gonna fire me at any time. 26 00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:52,400 -[phone ringing] -[screams] 27 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,770 That's him! Pick it up! No, don't pick it up! 28 00:01:54,850 --> 00:01:56,220 Answer it! Hang up! 29 00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:58,230 -No! Yes! No-- -[screams] 30 00:01:58,310 --> 00:02:00,020 Get a hold of yourself! 31 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:01,800 [phone continues ringing] 32 00:02:07,270 --> 00:02:08,980 [stammering] Poe speaking. 33 00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:10,980 [Tamerlane] Poe, this is Tamerlane. 34 00:02:11,060 --> 00:02:14,440 I've received orders that I can't let you go. 35 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,810 But if you don't find those orphans, I'll make sure you end up 36 00:02:16,890 --> 00:02:20,510 handing out cannoli to incontinent adults on the new accounts desk. 37 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,010 -Am I clear? -Yes, Mr. Tamerlane, yes. [snivels] 38 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,100 Take it off. 39 00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:29,980 -No. -Take it off. 40 00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:32,440 [crying] No! 41 00:02:34,930 --> 00:02:37,180 No, please. 42 00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:40,640 [sobbing] No, don't make... No. 43 00:02:40,730 --> 00:02:43,860 Call me when you've found those orphans. [clears throat] 44 00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:48,510 Leave it to me, Artie. 45 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,100 Before I was editor in chief of the Daily Punctilio, 46 00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:54,300 I cut my teeth as an investigative journalist. 47 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,970 [panting] Oh. 48 00:03:00,770 --> 00:03:02,770 It's time I got back to my roots. 49 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,310 [Lemony] "Seeing in black and white" 50 00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:10,600 is a way of saying that a person looks at the world 51 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,890 in a manner that is oversimplified and often incorrect. 52 00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:18,310 Like many newspapers, the Daily Punctilio is printed in black and white, 53 00:03:18,390 --> 00:03:22,640 and its look at the world is oversimplified and often incorrect. 54 00:03:24,350 --> 00:03:27,390 The death of noted scientist Dr. Montgomery Montgomery 55 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,150 was not due to snake allergies. 56 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,800 The destruction of Josephine Anwhistle's home 57 00:03:32,890 --> 00:03:35,510 was not the work of a cabal of real estate agents. 58 00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:40,480 Lemony Snicket is not dead. 59 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,260 I am sorry to say that there was not a terrible accident 60 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:48,180 at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill during the Baudelaires' time there. 61 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,520 There were two. 62 00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:52,260 It is my duty to report these events correctly, 63 00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:53,680 the way they actually happened. 64 00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:56,900 But if you prefer to look at the world in black and white, 65 00:03:56,980 --> 00:03:59,860 then you should avert your eyes or pick up a newspaper instead. 66 00:03:59,930 --> 00:04:02,390 Because I know the shocking truth behind the accidents 67 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,360 at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill, and I can assure you... 68 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,110 it's better if you can't see. 69 00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:14,860 -Thank you. I can see. -[Orwell] Well, of course you can. 70 00:04:14,930 --> 00:04:19,180 I'm an excellent optometrist, no matter what the medical board says. 71 00:04:19,270 --> 00:04:21,610 Well, hello, little girls. What are your names? 72 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,300 You know our names, and that wig and that lipstick don't fool us. 73 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,720 [gasps] I don't know what you're talking about. 74 00:04:26,810 --> 00:04:29,980 I'm Dr. Orwell's receptionist. My name is Shirley. 75 00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:34,690 -You mean Shirley Count Olaf? -Actually, my last name is St. Ives. 76 00:04:34,770 --> 00:04:37,480 It says so on my name tag, see? 77 00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:41,100 -What have you done to Klaus? -[Orwell] You were right. 78 00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,010 These children are horribly impolite. 79 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,890 They really should be more careful, Dr. Orwell. 80 00:04:45,980 --> 00:04:49,190 If they were to do something impolite to me, like, for example, 81 00:04:49,270 --> 00:04:50,860 call me by the wrong name, 82 00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:52,890 I would have to do something impolite to them, 83 00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:56,190 like, for example, tear their hair out with my bare hands. 84 00:04:56,270 --> 00:04:57,360 Cookie? 85 00:04:57,980 --> 00:04:59,190 [horn honks] 86 00:05:01,230 --> 00:05:02,400 What's all this? 87 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,650 I don't pay you in gum to stand around gabbing! 88 00:05:04,730 --> 00:05:07,230 [panting] Oh, hello, children. 89 00:05:07,310 --> 00:05:09,150 I hope you're having a nice visit with the optometrist. 90 00:05:09,230 --> 00:05:12,230 Charles, you have to listen. This woman is a notorious villain. 91 00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:13,770 -And she's not a woman. -[Sir] Nonsense! 92 00:05:13,850 --> 00:05:17,970 Dr. Orwell has provided free eye exams to Lucky Smells employees for years. 93 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:20,770 And there's nothing villainous about free healthcare. 94 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,550 Clearly she's a woman. Look at her pantsuit. 95 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,430 I'm surprised at you, Baudelaires. 96 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,940 Women can be doctors just as men can be receptionists. 97 00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:29,860 I'm talking about the receptionist. 98 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,800 Hi, I'm Cookie. Shirley? 99 00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:34,930 -[grunts] I'm Shirley. Cookie? -Don't mind if I do. 100 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,510 Did you consider our little proposal? 101 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,640 -What proposal? -[grunts] It doesn't concern you, Charles. 102 00:05:41,730 --> 00:05:44,060 Doesn't concern me? I'm your partner. 103 00:05:45,270 --> 00:05:47,650 I... I haven't seen you in my chair. 104 00:05:48,230 --> 00:05:50,400 -I have excellent vision. -Well, vision changes. 105 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,800 Just as I suspected. Cloudy, dull. 106 00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:58,010 -What color is this newspaper? -Hmm, black and white? 107 00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:01,180 And color-blind, too. You must come see me right away. 108 00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:04,440 Can't have a cloudy, dull-eyed partner. How would you make my omelets? 109 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,770 Now, ladies, would you like a ride? 110 00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:09,100 [chuckles] Handsome and a gentleman. 111 00:06:10,890 --> 00:06:11,970 [Sir] Pleasure. 112 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,720 -Let's go, Charles. -[horn honks] 113 00:06:14,810 --> 00:06:16,770 -[Orwell] Hur-rah! -[Charles grunts] 114 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,060 What a nice lady. 115 00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:23,100 [Flacutono] Lucky Smells visiting hours are over. 116 00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:25,180 -[horn blaring] -Get back to work! 117 00:06:25,270 --> 00:06:28,020 -Yes, sir. -[sighs] 118 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,720 [machinery whirring] 119 00:06:33,180 --> 00:06:34,720 [Flacutono] Lucky boy, 120 00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:36,520 would you like to turn on the stamping machine? 121 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:37,640 Yes, sir. 122 00:06:42,980 --> 00:06:43,980 Klaus? 123 00:06:59,390 --> 00:07:00,890 I wish I knew. 124 00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:06,640 There's nothing to worry about. 125 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,510 Your brother is smiling. 126 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,720 He would never operate a machine without reading the manual first. 127 00:07:12,810 --> 00:07:14,690 He's operating it perfectly. 128 00:07:14,770 --> 00:07:16,360 You're doing great, Klaus! 129 00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:23,110 Move as fast as you can and then move faster! 130 00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:34,300 Count Olaf and Dr. Orwell did something to Klaus. 131 00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:35,970 He's not himself. 132 00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:39,860 One moment he's normal, and the next... he's like a zombie. 133 00:07:42,310 --> 00:07:44,150 I saw a scary movie like that once. 134 00:07:44,890 --> 00:07:46,260 Was it Zombies in the Snow? 135 00:07:46,350 --> 00:07:49,720 What? No. It was Hypnotists in the Forest. 136 00:07:49,810 --> 00:07:51,730 To be honest with you, I didn't really get it. 137 00:07:51,810 --> 00:07:53,770 But I loved the fact that it was in black and white. 138 00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:55,600 [Flacutono] Focus, lumber minions! 139 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:56,930 Did you just say "hypnotists"? 140 00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:00,270 Cheer up. I'm sure that if you look on the bright side... 141 00:08:00,350 --> 00:08:01,800 Look on your right side! 142 00:08:02,770 --> 00:08:04,610 -Get out of the way! -[men groan] 143 00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:08,360 Code red! Code red! 144 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:11,800 Get out of the way! 145 00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:14,110 Whoa! [grunts] 146 00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:15,970 -Ah! -[groans] 147 00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:19,300 -[screaming] -[screaming] 148 00:08:22,890 --> 00:08:25,050 -[grunts] -They won't stop coming, Dolores. 149 00:08:25,140 --> 00:08:27,220 [stammers] They're like zombies, only different. 150 00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:28,940 I'm afraid they've been... 151 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:34,970 hypnotized. 152 00:08:39,930 --> 00:08:42,760 Many people think hypnosis is only in scary movies. 153 00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:45,400 Dolores, avert your eyes! 154 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,110 -[grunts] -But, Dolores, no! 155 00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:49,640 Those people are wrong. 156 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,650 The Encyclopedia Hypnotica tells of a woman who, 157 00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:55,310 whenever she'd hear the word "omelet," would cluck like a chicken. 158 00:08:55,930 --> 00:08:57,890 [clucking] 159 00:08:57,980 --> 00:09:00,440 -What are you doing? -[clucks] 160 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,440 And a man who, upon hearing the word "Nero," 161 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,730 could suddenly play an instrument he'd never studied. 162 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,440 Dolores, put down that violin! 163 00:09:10,390 --> 00:09:13,470 The Encyclopedia Hypnotica does not mention the fatal accident 164 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:16,440 that happened during the Baudelaires' time at Lucky Smells Lumbermill. 165 00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:23,270 "Fatal" is a word here which means "caused the death of one person who... 166 00:09:23,350 --> 00:09:25,850 it is my solemn duty to inform you... 167 00:09:27,980 --> 00:09:29,110 was not Phil." 168 00:09:29,180 --> 00:09:30,760 [screaming] 169 00:09:30,850 --> 00:09:31,930 [screaming] 170 00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:33,400 -[man] We're here for you, Phil. -[Jimmy] Come on. 171 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,690 -You're gonna be all right. -Bear down now, Phil. 172 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,680 I'm okay! [whimpers] 173 00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:42,980 [Flacutono] Code red! Code red! Code red! 174 00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,610 -Code red! Code red! -[grunts] What's going on out there? 175 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,180 -Code red! -[all grunting] 176 00:09:50,350 --> 00:09:52,300 [Jimmy] It's too heavy! It won't budge! 177 00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:53,760 [grunts] 178 00:10:10,980 --> 00:10:13,110 [Phil groaning] 179 00:10:17,270 --> 00:10:18,900 I was saving that for later. 180 00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:27,470 -[electricity surging] -[machine powering up] 181 00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:39,270 [groaning] 182 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:44,680 -Oh! -Oh, boy! [laughing] 183 00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,430 Half-price pedicures for life! 184 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,440 If somebody can help me up to my foot, 185 00:10:50,140 --> 00:10:53,100 I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get back to work. [laughing] 186 00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:54,760 You need to go to a hospital. 187 00:10:54,850 --> 00:10:58,100 We earned those coupons last month. 50% off Ahab Memorial. 188 00:10:58,180 --> 00:10:59,510 Uh, two of us will chip in. 189 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,220 -We'll get your leg fixed up. -It can't be fixed. 190 00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:06,480 Oh! I wouldn't say that. 191 00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:09,230 I mean, Phil's leg is going to need some... 192 00:11:09,730 --> 00:11:11,560 eh... help. 193 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,720 But, uh, we're fortunate that, uh, the damage wasn't worse. 194 00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:18,150 Wasn't worse? The debarker dispenser is destroyed. 195 00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:21,690 -Who's responsible? -Klaus Baudelaire caused the accident. 196 00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:24,430 He said he knew how to operate heavy machinery. 197 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,310 -That's not true. -Well, now I know that. 198 00:11:27,390 --> 00:11:28,760 I meant it was a mistake. 199 00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:32,470 Excuses, excuses. Just like your parents. 200 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:33,690 They burnt down the town, 201 00:11:33,770 --> 00:11:36,020 and now you've come back to finish the job. 202 00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:37,550 Sir, be reasonable. 203 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,390 Perhaps we should reevaluate our safety procedures. 204 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,980 Or perhaps we shouldn't let children near dangerous machines. 205 00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:45,400 I got a better solution. 206 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:49,020 One more mistake, Baudelaires, and I'm gonna send you away 207 00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:52,850 to a place where you'll learn the value of discipline and child labor. 208 00:11:52,930 --> 00:11:56,350 As it happens, I have just the place in mind. 209 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,180 Now get back to work! 210 00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:02,480 This mistake has cost me an inordinate amount of money. 211 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:14,360 It was an accident. Klaus didn't mean to hurt Phil. I know it. 212 00:12:14,430 --> 00:12:16,970 I'm sorry. When Sir gets like this, there's nothing I can do. 213 00:12:17,060 --> 00:12:18,440 So you're just gonna do nothing? 214 00:12:18,890 --> 00:12:21,350 If you can't speak up for us, at least speak up for yourself. 215 00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:22,550 [sighs] 216 00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:26,510 You're right, my dear. I've been a silent partner for too long. 217 00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:30,220 And this mill... it has too many secrets. 218 00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:33,050 It's time you learnt one about your parents. 219 00:12:33,140 --> 00:12:34,180 [Sir] Charles? 220 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,900 -Meet me after lunch in the library. -You can't tell us now? 221 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,360 Well, I would, but I've got an appointment. 222 00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:46,850 I don't understand. 223 00:12:46,930 --> 00:12:48,850 Everyone is staring at me like I'm a pariah. 224 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,690 "Pariah" means "outcast." 225 00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:53,190 Klaus, it's you. 226 00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:57,550 -What happened to Phil? -[Phil] I'm okay. 227 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:58,850 We need to talk. 228 00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:01,600 If the world ever feels confusing, 229 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:05,850 as if people are having secret meetings to plot against you behind your back, 230 00:13:05,930 --> 00:13:07,890 it's useful to know they are. 231 00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:10,190 And the odd behavior of Klaus Baudelaire 232 00:13:10,270 --> 00:13:12,730 could be traced to a secret meeting that happened not long after 233 00:13:12,810 --> 00:13:15,610 the Baudelaires arrived at Lucky Smells Lumbermill. 234 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,600 Like most things from the past, it's best seen... 235 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:20,220 in black and white. 236 00:13:20,310 --> 00:13:22,440 We have a good deal, you and I. 237 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:26,560 You provide a steady stream of employees for me to practice my craft, 238 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:30,640 and I send them back after I've fixed how they see. 239 00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:32,980 Frankly, I never thought weekly eye exams 240 00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:35,440 would have such an impact on employee morale. 241 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,860 Oops! I dropped a pen on the floor. Would you mind helping me look for it? 242 00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:42,770 Does he really not know how you make his workers so compliant? 243 00:13:42,850 --> 00:13:44,850 -Doesn't know, doesn't want to know. -[sighs] 244 00:13:44,930 --> 00:13:47,430 He gets free labor, we split the profits 50-50. 245 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,860 You're terrible, and I love it. 246 00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:51,900 Found it. 247 00:13:52,390 --> 00:13:54,220 You said you had some business to discuss. 248 00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:57,520 Actually, my receptionist has a story to share. 249 00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,600 It's okay, Shirley. 250 00:14:05,770 --> 00:14:07,560 My name is Shirley. 251 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:11,100 I'm a poor receptionist who lives all alone 252 00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:13,930 and wants very much to raise children of her own. 253 00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:18,430 Alas, the helter-skelter life of a working girl 254 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:20,560 has left me no time to find a partner, 255 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,100 and the cruel reality of adoption economics 256 00:14:23,180 --> 00:14:26,390 has left me unable to purchase even the runtiest of orphans. 257 00:14:29,270 --> 00:14:34,940 And so I wait and work... and grow old dreaming of children. 258 00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:36,520 Three of them to be precise. 259 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,010 A bucktoothed baby, a smarty-pants little boy 260 00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:41,800 and a girl with an enormous fortune. 261 00:14:41,890 --> 00:14:44,510 Uh, uh... bank account. Uh, uh... 262 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,640 heart. 263 00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:52,180 Thank you. 264 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,560 -[sobs softly] -[Sir] It's a moving story. 265 00:14:58,310 --> 00:15:01,860 And frankly, it's a coincident that defies belief. 266 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:06,400 But a trio of orphans with those exact qualities 267 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,310 arrived at the mill just yesterday. 268 00:15:08,390 --> 00:15:09,800 -I'll take them. -Excuse me? 269 00:15:09,890 --> 00:15:13,800 I mean, don't you want to see those children in a loving home? 270 00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:14,760 Absolutely not. 271 00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:17,930 [voice deepens] Beg your pardon? 272 00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:19,810 They're an economic bonanza. 273 00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:22,640 They do the work of an adult for half the gum. 274 00:15:22,730 --> 00:15:25,230 What kind of a businessman would I be to part with them? 275 00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:27,520 What would make you part with them? 276 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,760 I suppose if they became costly. 277 00:15:29,850 --> 00:15:31,510 What might make them costly? 278 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,510 They made a... [smacks lips] costly mistake. 279 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,550 -Like a fatal accident? -A bit drastic, but-- 280 00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:38,810 Deal! Oops! Dropped another pen. 281 00:15:40,430 --> 00:15:41,600 Did you hear that? 282 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,890 All we have to do is get one of those brats to murder someone. 283 00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:46,150 Oh, they'll never do that. They're total goody two-shoes. 284 00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:48,400 You so underestimate me. 285 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,560 Hmm, I smell an evil plan. 286 00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,650 Thank you so much for your time, Sir. 287 00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:00,480 [thunder rumbling] 288 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,150 I can't believe it. 289 00:16:02,230 --> 00:16:04,730 It does sound like something from a scary movie. 290 00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:05,900 I believe that part. 291 00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:08,650 I read the Encyclopedia Hypnotica last year. 292 00:16:08,730 --> 00:16:10,440 I can't believe I hurt Phil. 293 00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:12,680 And I almost hurt you, Sunny. 294 00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:14,350 I didn't mean to. 295 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:19,350 Charles will be back soon. He wants to help us. 296 00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:20,890 No. 297 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,510 If Dr. Orwell did something to my brain, I have to fix it. 298 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,970 You can't go back there. It's too dangerous. 299 00:16:27,060 --> 00:16:29,020 I don't care. I have to know. 300 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,600 What if you get hurt? 301 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,470 What if I cause another accident and hurt more people? 302 00:16:34,270 --> 00:16:35,690 You're the one that wanted to stay here. 303 00:16:36,270 --> 00:16:38,560 You wanted to find out what our parents were doing in this town. 304 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,390 And I'm sorry I put us in danger. 305 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:44,310 I don't know why they blame our parents for the fire, and I don't care anymore. 306 00:16:44,390 --> 00:16:47,010 I just want you to be safe. Count Olaf is here. 307 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,140 -We have to leave. -And we will. 308 00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:54,400 When I get back from Dr. Orwell's. 309 00:16:55,310 --> 00:16:56,610 [sighs] 310 00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:06,690 What's that thing Samuel Beckett said? 311 00:17:07,930 --> 00:17:11,260 "I can't go on. I'll go on." 312 00:17:11,350 --> 00:17:13,640 Let's go on. Together. 313 00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:18,230 Was it fatal? 314 00:17:19,270 --> 00:17:22,650 Just a leg? [groans] Call me when there's a real maiming. 315 00:17:22,730 --> 00:17:25,150 And don't take your eyes off those orphans! 316 00:17:25,230 --> 00:17:28,060 -[groans] -Well, this one's too easy. 317 00:17:28,140 --> 00:17:30,850 There's just no challenge when they love taking orders. 318 00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:33,640 Those are covered in eye junk. Order me a new box of gloves. 319 00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:35,360 Do I look like your receptionist? 320 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,300 Yes, now act like one. 321 00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:40,860 You wouldn't have the Baudelaires at all if it weren't for me. 322 00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:42,300 I don't have them. 323 00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:44,140 You were supposed to hypnotize the bookworm 324 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,770 into causing a fatal accident. 325 00:17:45,850 --> 00:17:48,640 Don't blame me for that. I'm running a business 326 00:17:48,730 --> 00:17:50,400 while you're running around wearing my clothes. 327 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,810 How quickly we fall into old routines. 328 00:17:52,890 --> 00:17:55,970 Perhaps some old flames are better snuffed out. 329 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,110 Oh, Georgina... 330 00:18:02,020 --> 00:18:03,560 you little minx. 331 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,140 [chuckles] You have lipstick on your teeth. 332 00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:08,520 Yes, it's part of my character. 333 00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:36,140 [Orwell] I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. 334 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:43,850 Partner trouble. But you'd know all about that, Charles. 335 00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:47,190 [robotically] Yes, sir. 336 00:18:47,270 --> 00:18:48,560 She has Charles. 337 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,850 Now, Charles, would you like to look at the screen 338 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,390 and tell me what you see? 339 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,060 -Orphans. -Dangerous orphans. 340 00:18:55,140 --> 00:18:57,180 Charles, don't you think your partner and you 341 00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,900 would be a lot happier without these orphans around? 342 00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:02,650 We could finally be happy without those orphans around. 343 00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:04,020 She's hypnotizing him. 344 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,810 You will awaken from your trance when I say the word-- 345 00:19:07,890 --> 00:19:09,100 [Shirley] Charles... 346 00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:11,640 would you like to do your impersonation of a chicken? 347 00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:14,980 -[clucking] -I told you to wait in the waiting room. 348 00:19:15,060 --> 00:19:17,560 -[Shirley] Did you? I must've forgot. -[Orwell] Mmm. 349 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,470 -[squawks] -Charles, would you like to stop? 350 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,310 -That's Shirley? -We should go before she sees us. 351 00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:23,390 Wait. 352 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,190 I really wanna practice saying the secret words. 353 00:19:26,270 --> 00:19:29,560 Why? So you could take over and you wouldn't need me anymore? 354 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:33,350 -[gasps] Someone has trust issues. -Of course I do. I dated you! 355 00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:35,100 -Secret words? -[Shirley and Orwell bicker] 356 00:19:35,180 --> 00:19:37,010 According to the Encyclopedia Hypnotica, 357 00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:39,930 a hypnotist chooses one word to induce hypnotic suggestion, 358 00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:43,520 like "Nero" or... or "omelet," 359 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,050 and another one to break it. 360 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:48,600 Charles, would you tell Dr. Orwell to please stop bringing up the past? 361 00:19:49,270 --> 00:19:50,810 Stop bringing up the past. 362 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:53,850 Charles, would you tell Count Olaf to stop talking in that voice? 363 00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:55,300 Stop talking in that voice. 364 00:19:55,390 --> 00:19:58,510 -[as Olaf] You drank all of my wine. -You poisoned my coffee. 365 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,850 -You tried to hypnotize me! -It was the only way to shut you up! 366 00:20:01,930 --> 00:20:03,890 -[floorboard creaks] -What was that? 367 00:20:04,810 --> 00:20:06,190 There's nothing up there. 368 00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:11,550 If there's nothing up there, then what was that noise? 369 00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:27,360 [footsteps approaching] 370 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,190 [footsteps receding] 371 00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:49,730 -[gasps] -[screaming] 372 00:20:50,390 --> 00:20:51,430 Sorry about that. 373 00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:55,190 We all have skeletons in our closet, metaphorically, 374 00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:58,230 meaning things from our past we'd prefer not leave lying around 375 00:20:58,310 --> 00:21:02,860 because they are painful or incriminating or would create unnecessary clutter. 376 00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:08,390 In my closet, I keep a 200-page book written by the woman I loved, 377 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,060 explaining at great length and in specific detail 378 00:21:11,140 --> 00:21:13,430 the reason she could not marry me, 379 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,310 which, if I were to leave out in the open, I would find myself reading over and over. 380 00:21:17,390 --> 00:21:19,680 It would be as if my darling Beatrice 381 00:21:19,770 --> 00:21:23,560 were bringing me bad news every day and every night of my life. 382 00:21:33,390 --> 00:21:36,010 Unless you are a murderer or a taxidermist, 383 00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:38,140 it is rare to have actual skeletons in your closet, 384 00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:39,770 as opposed to metaphorical ones. 385 00:21:39,850 --> 00:21:41,930 But as Klaus had just discovered... 386 00:21:46,230 --> 00:21:47,650 Dr. Orwell's closet... 387 00:21:48,770 --> 00:21:49,610 had both. 388 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,850 [gasping] Nothing to be frightened of. 389 00:21:51,930 --> 00:21:55,430 I'm sure many doctors have skeletons to study anatomy. 390 00:21:56,020 --> 00:21:58,730 I suppose they could keep them in closets. 391 00:21:58,810 --> 00:22:02,610 But Dr. Orwell's an eye doctor. Skeletons don't even have eyes. 392 00:22:09,890 --> 00:22:10,720 Look. 393 00:22:10,810 --> 00:22:13,110 -What are those? -Records. 394 00:22:15,310 --> 00:22:18,310 Not that type of record, Sunny. Medical records. 395 00:22:18,390 --> 00:22:20,180 For employee eye exams. 396 00:22:21,180 --> 00:22:24,720 I don't think Charles and I were the only victims of Dr. Orwell's hypnosis. 397 00:22:26,730 --> 00:22:28,400 I think it's the entire mill. 398 00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:31,230 That's why they never leave 399 00:22:31,310 --> 00:22:33,770 and why they're happy to work for coupons and gum. 400 00:22:33,850 --> 00:22:35,760 It's probably why they think our parents started that fire. 401 00:22:35,850 --> 00:22:38,010 We need to figure out the word that breaks the trance. 402 00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:40,600 -We can use the library. -We might not need the library. 403 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,220 Are you sure you're not still hypnotized? 404 00:22:42,310 --> 00:22:44,270 [sighs] After Phil's accident, 405 00:22:44,350 --> 00:22:46,600 do you remember the word that brought me back to normal? 406 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,100 [Violet] I can't remember. 407 00:22:50,430 --> 00:22:52,800 We don't have to go back. We can run away. 408 00:22:52,890 --> 00:22:55,470 -What if Count Olaf finds us again? -We'll protect each other. 409 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,190 How will we protect each other if one of us is under a hypnotic trance? 410 00:22:58,270 --> 00:23:01,440 And we'd be abandoning those workers. They're victims of Dr. Orwell, too. 411 00:23:02,060 --> 00:23:03,650 Our parents wanted us to be safe. 412 00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:06,270 We don't know what they wanted. Not anymore. 413 00:23:06,350 --> 00:23:07,800 We don't know why they were in Paltryville. 414 00:23:07,890 --> 00:23:09,680 We don't know why there were so many things they never told us. 415 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,550 But we do know how we remember them. 416 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,680 And the parents I remember would've wanted us to help. 417 00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:16,980 Then we go back. 418 00:23:20,230 --> 00:23:22,480 Trying to run away, are ya? 419 00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:25,020 [Sir] I'm not an idiot. 420 00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:27,100 I've been trying to figure out what to do with you 421 00:23:27,180 --> 00:23:31,300 since you caused that accident that crushed a man's debarker dispenser. 422 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,350 That glib attitude will get you nowhere. 423 00:23:35,850 --> 00:23:39,100 Now, you wanna hear the good news or the bad news first? 424 00:23:39,930 --> 00:23:41,390 The... the bad news. 425 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,770 There's a local receptionist who wants children of her own. 426 00:23:44,850 --> 00:23:46,010 You make one more mistake, 427 00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:48,510 and I'm gonna be forced to sack you and send you to live with her. 428 00:23:49,230 --> 00:23:52,060 I've interviewed her about her parenting methods, and... 429 00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:54,400 I can vouch for her fully. 430 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,860 You can't send us to live with Shirley. 431 00:23:55,930 --> 00:23:58,010 And Klaus isn't responsible for that accident. 432 00:23:58,100 --> 00:24:00,260 -He was hypno-- -[coughing] 433 00:24:00,350 --> 00:24:02,800 -He was hyp-- -[coughing continues] 434 00:24:02,890 --> 00:24:06,260 He was hypnotized, just like the rest of the workers here! 435 00:24:06,350 --> 00:24:09,100 [clears throat] I don't care what my employees do for a hobby. 436 00:24:09,180 --> 00:24:10,220 [coughs] 437 00:24:10,810 --> 00:24:12,480 Do you even know what's going at this mill? 438 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,810 Are you aware of anything outside that horrible cloud of smoke? 439 00:24:15,890 --> 00:24:18,260 "Don't ask, don't tell." That's my motto. 440 00:24:18,350 --> 00:24:19,720 Now is there anything else? 441 00:24:21,140 --> 00:24:22,890 What's the good news? 442 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,610 It will build character. 443 00:24:26,180 --> 00:24:28,390 I was willing to forgive the accident. 444 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:32,270 You three are an economic bonanza, and I'm a softie at heart. 445 00:24:32,350 --> 00:24:36,010 But my partner convinced me that I need to be a little more inflexible. 446 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:37,510 Isn't that right, Charles? 447 00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:41,020 We'll finally be happy without those orphans around. 448 00:24:44,730 --> 00:24:46,230 "It'll build character." 449 00:24:46,310 --> 00:24:47,520 That's just something people say 450 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,930 when they're trying to make others accept a miserable situation. 451 00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:51,020 It is miserable. 452 00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:52,720 If we can't find the word to break your hypnosis, 453 00:24:52,810 --> 00:24:55,650 you could cause another accident and we'd be in the hands of Count Olaf. 454 00:24:55,730 --> 00:24:57,150 You mean Shirley. 455 00:24:57,230 --> 00:24:59,690 -He looks like Father... -When he went... 456 00:24:59,770 --> 00:25:01,310 [both] To the masquerade ball. 457 00:25:01,390 --> 00:25:02,720 [both chuckle] 458 00:25:04,230 --> 00:25:06,190 I don't want you to go away again. 459 00:25:08,730 --> 00:25:10,060 [Klaus sighs] 460 00:25:16,270 --> 00:25:18,860 It seems darker in here without Phil to find the bright side. 461 00:25:18,930 --> 00:25:21,350 It seems darker 'cause it is. 462 00:25:21,430 --> 00:25:23,510 Sir won't let us keep the lights on. 463 00:25:24,730 --> 00:25:28,650 He says we need to cut corners to pay for a new debarker dispenser. 464 00:25:28,730 --> 00:25:32,020 I'm surprised they can show their faces after what they did to Phil. 465 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:33,640 It's not your fault. 466 00:25:33,730 --> 00:25:35,650 You're right. It's Count Olaf's. 467 00:25:37,430 --> 00:25:40,180 They're a wretched pair of villains, and they deserve each other. 468 00:25:40,270 --> 00:25:42,860 They deserve to be locked away for a very long time. 469 00:25:42,930 --> 00:25:44,220 But for that to happen, 470 00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:46,190 we have to find the word that wakes everyone up. 471 00:25:46,270 --> 00:25:47,650 So what do we do? 472 00:25:47,730 --> 00:25:49,980 Say a bunch of words out loud and hope one of them works? 473 00:26:00,140 --> 00:26:01,600 Maybe this can help. 474 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,010 [Klaus clears throat] 475 00:26:10,930 --> 00:26:12,050 "Aardvark." 476 00:26:14,430 --> 00:26:15,470 "Abacus." 477 00:26:16,180 --> 00:26:17,180 [man] Shh! 478 00:26:20,060 --> 00:26:21,190 "Aberrant." 479 00:26:21,270 --> 00:26:23,310 You're waking everyone up. 480 00:26:27,060 --> 00:26:28,810 There has to be a better way. 481 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:33,770 [door opening] 482 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,890 [Flacutono breathing heavily] 483 00:26:48,890 --> 00:26:52,970 Lucky boy... would you like to get to work? 484 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:21,600 [Mrs. Quagmire] Things look bad. 485 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,890 Sometimes when things look bad, they turn out to be worse. 486 00:27:25,890 --> 00:27:28,800 There are fires all around us, literally and figuratively. 487 00:27:28,890 --> 00:27:31,350 Then it's time we mount a vigorous fire defense. 488 00:27:31,430 --> 00:27:32,850 [Isadora] Why do they keep talking about fire? 489 00:27:32,930 --> 00:27:34,800 -[Duncan] I know, right? -We can hear you back there. 490 00:27:34,890 --> 00:27:37,100 If you'd gone to my school, you would have flunked eavesdropping. 491 00:27:37,180 --> 00:27:39,220 What kind of school teaches eavesdropping? 492 00:27:39,310 --> 00:27:41,610 Come on, children. It's past your bedtime. 493 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,390 -We've got a big day tomorrow. -What's tomorrow? 494 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:44,650 It's a secret. 495 00:28:29,850 --> 00:28:33,010 You've been fortunate so far, you little twerp. 496 00:28:33,100 --> 00:28:34,390 But not anymore. 497 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,060 Yeah, you tell 'em, boss. 498 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,180 One more accident, and you're mine. 499 00:28:40,270 --> 00:28:44,230 And this will be the worst accident the lumbermill has ever seen. 500 00:28:45,850 --> 00:28:47,470 [Charles whistling] 501 00:28:50,020 --> 00:28:52,360 [Olaf] Now, you lucky brat, 502 00:28:52,430 --> 00:28:55,800 would you like to send that log into that saw? 503 00:28:55,890 --> 00:28:57,760 -Yes, sir. -Klaus, don't do it! 504 00:29:00,810 --> 00:29:05,770 Well, well, well. If it isn't... the other two. 505 00:29:05,850 --> 00:29:08,550 You're just in time to see the accident. 506 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,890 It's not an accident. You're doing this on purpose! 507 00:29:11,980 --> 00:29:15,020 Let's not split hairs. That's Klaus' job. 508 00:29:15,100 --> 00:29:19,640 And you can shout as much as you want. Your brother isn't here right now. 509 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,550 Poor little orphan. 510 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,140 Haven't you learned anything this year? 511 00:29:34,230 --> 00:29:36,860 Week? Season? 512 00:29:36,930 --> 00:29:40,140 Wherever you go, I will be waiting. 513 00:29:40,230 --> 00:29:43,900 Wherever you hide, I will hunt you down. 514 00:29:43,980 --> 00:29:46,940 I'm smarter. I'm pluckier. 515 00:29:47,020 --> 00:29:48,770 I'm stronger. 516 00:29:50,060 --> 00:29:52,440 Put some lower back into it! 517 00:29:53,140 --> 00:29:54,640 [Charles continues whistling] 518 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,770 [chuckles] I'm unstoppable! 519 00:30:00,850 --> 00:30:02,430 Why do you hate us so much? 520 00:30:03,020 --> 00:30:05,020 Because it's fun. 521 00:30:05,100 --> 00:30:07,010 How are you doing back there, Charles? 522 00:30:07,100 --> 00:30:09,350 Oh! Just peachy! [chuckles] 523 00:30:09,430 --> 00:30:12,890 Wait till Sir finds out that his partner's been turned into human boards. 524 00:30:12,980 --> 00:30:15,900 I bet he won't even wait until the morning to fire... [gasps] 525 00:30:15,980 --> 00:30:17,150 [mumbles] 526 00:30:20,980 --> 00:30:22,110 Where am I? 527 00:30:22,770 --> 00:30:24,360 What's going on? 528 00:30:25,350 --> 00:30:28,300 Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! 529 00:30:28,390 --> 00:30:30,220 Fire! The secret word is "fire." 530 00:30:30,310 --> 00:30:32,360 Klaus, fire! Turn off the machine! 531 00:30:35,270 --> 00:30:36,900 Nice try. 532 00:30:36,980 --> 00:30:38,810 But did you really think we'd use the same word 533 00:30:38,890 --> 00:30:41,430 on your bratty brother that we used on the mill workers? 534 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:46,260 You will never find the word to save your brother. 535 00:30:46,350 --> 00:30:49,890 And you certainly won't find it in time to save Charles. 536 00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:53,890 Help me! Help me! 537 00:30:53,980 --> 00:30:57,310 [Olaf] Sorry, Charlie. No one's coming to help you now. 538 00:30:57,390 --> 00:30:58,680 [Charles] Help me! 539 00:30:58,770 --> 00:31:00,730 [shouting] 540 00:31:04,890 --> 00:31:06,220 Where did the girl go? 541 00:31:07,980 --> 00:31:11,610 Perhaps you've been told never to shout "fire" in a public place. 542 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,350 When you shout "fire" and there isn't one, it can cause chaos. 543 00:31:14,430 --> 00:31:16,220 Of course, when you shout "fire" and there is one, 544 00:31:16,310 --> 00:31:18,520 it can cause chaos but also save lives. 545 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,550 Still, there are times when shouting "fire" can save lives 546 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:23,010 even when there isn't one. 547 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,180 For example, you may be trapped in a motel room... 548 00:31:28,430 --> 00:31:30,430 with your enemies waiting outside. 549 00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,520 Shouting "fire" will cause the kind of chaos 550 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,220 that will allow you to escape undetected. 551 00:31:36,310 --> 00:31:39,900 Therefore, the life it saves will be your own. 552 00:31:39,980 --> 00:31:41,860 [yelling] Fire! Fire! 553 00:31:41,930 --> 00:31:43,390 [voice echoing] Fire! Fire! 554 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,110 -[over PA] Fire! Fire! -Where am I? 555 00:31:46,180 --> 00:31:48,180 [Lemony] If you're in a town where the workers have been warned 556 00:31:48,270 --> 00:31:51,150 never to talk about a terrible fire, not because it was too terrible... 557 00:31:51,230 --> 00:31:52,440 Why does my mouth taste like gum? 558 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:53,730 ...because the word "fire" 559 00:31:53,810 --> 00:31:57,020 would awaken them from a state of complacency induced by hypnosis, 560 00:31:57,100 --> 00:32:00,640 shouting "fire" would cause chaos and save lives. 561 00:32:00,730 --> 00:32:03,400 Of course, there is the single most important time to shout "fire," 562 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,020 and that is when there is one. 563 00:32:05,730 --> 00:32:09,190 Sometimes, even shouting "fire" cannot save every life. 564 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,350 [workers clamoring] 565 00:32:17,310 --> 00:32:18,440 [man shouts] Get 'em! 566 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:19,560 What have you done? 567 00:32:20,310 --> 00:32:21,400 Shut the door! 568 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,310 [Charles whimpering] 569 00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:26,860 Help me! Help me! 570 00:32:31,850 --> 00:32:34,510 Open up! We want answers! 571 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,970 [Charles whimpering] 572 00:32:40,180 --> 00:32:43,010 Thank you, thank you! [chuckling] 573 00:32:45,060 --> 00:32:47,860 Lucky, would you like to cut the log faster? 574 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,260 Lucky, would you like to reverse the direction of the log? 575 00:32:52,430 --> 00:32:56,010 -Lucky, push that lever forward! -Lucky, pull the lever backward! 576 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:57,760 Lucky, push! 577 00:32:58,520 --> 00:32:59,940 -Lucky, pull! -[Orwell] Lucky! 578 00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:02,190 Don't listen to your sister. 579 00:33:02,270 --> 00:33:03,770 Hey, why didn't you think of that? 580 00:33:03,850 --> 00:33:08,220 I just stopped by to see if everything was running smoothly, and I'm glad I did. 581 00:33:08,310 --> 00:33:10,360 -Because it wasn't. -Ah! 582 00:33:10,430 --> 00:33:13,350 How did you even get inside? There's an angry mob at the door. 583 00:33:13,930 --> 00:33:16,350 You're right. I don't trust you with all my secrets. 584 00:33:17,230 --> 00:33:19,810 Oh, oh, oh! 585 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:21,800 You know, they say holding a baby 586 00:33:21,890 --> 00:33:24,720 can make all these deep, primal parenting instincts kick in. 587 00:33:25,890 --> 00:33:27,760 -I don't see it. -Sunny! 588 00:33:28,350 --> 00:33:29,470 Shh! 589 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:35,930 Lucky... would you like to send that log into that saw? 590 00:33:36,020 --> 00:33:37,110 Yes, sir. 591 00:33:40,390 --> 00:33:43,470 -[workers clamoring] -[Norma Rae] We want fair wages! 592 00:33:44,140 --> 00:33:46,390 You think you're so superior, 593 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:50,230 with your fancy optometry degree and weird hypnosis thing. 594 00:33:50,310 --> 00:33:54,400 Well, I don't need a partner. I was better off alone, 595 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,310 where my plots were simple and straightforward 596 00:33:57,390 --> 00:34:01,390 and didn't involve any high-concept science fiction gimmicks. 597 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:02,810 Are you breaking up with me again? 598 00:34:02,890 --> 00:34:05,640 No, I'm breaking up with you... again! 599 00:34:05,730 --> 00:34:07,310 [Orwell] You're being insensitive. 600 00:34:07,390 --> 00:34:09,550 -You're being inor-- -Oh, don't say the word! 601 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,680 -Inordinate. -An inordinate... 602 00:34:13,980 --> 00:34:16,110 Inordinate! Klaus, inordinate! 603 00:34:21,100 --> 00:34:22,470 Now he's unhypnotized. 604 00:34:25,180 --> 00:34:28,180 How in the world does a child know a word like "inordinate"? 605 00:34:28,270 --> 00:34:30,400 These brats know all kind of words. They're book addicts. 606 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:34,110 But there is still time to cause an accident and get their fortune! 607 00:34:34,810 --> 00:34:36,150 Oh, no, you can't. 608 00:34:37,350 --> 00:34:39,850 [panting] Now put my sister down. 609 00:34:39,930 --> 00:34:41,720 Yes, you may have saved Charles, 610 00:34:41,810 --> 00:34:45,940 but there will still be a fatal accident at the lumbermill tonight. 611 00:34:46,020 --> 00:34:48,270 -Oh, there you are. -[babbles] 612 00:34:48,350 --> 00:34:51,600 If you want our fortune, you can have it. Just leave Sunny alone! 613 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:55,430 You think you're so clever, but you only see in black and white. 614 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:58,270 Just like your parents. They were shortsighted, too. 615 00:34:58,350 --> 00:35:02,350 With their, "You can't hypnotize people!" And, "What about free will?" 616 00:35:02,430 --> 00:35:06,640 And, "We're going to kick you out and have your license revoked, 617 00:35:06,730 --> 00:35:08,020 and if we ever have children, 618 00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:10,180 we're never gonna let you anywhere near them!" 619 00:35:10,270 --> 00:35:11,650 Well, I showed them! 620 00:35:11,730 --> 00:35:14,060 I don't think I can hold them off much longer, boss! 621 00:35:15,020 --> 00:35:17,940 I'll show everyone! It was never about the fortune. 622 00:35:18,020 --> 00:35:19,150 -It's about-- -Ah! 623 00:35:20,770 --> 00:35:21,810 [shouting] 624 00:35:23,140 --> 00:35:24,470 [gasps and screams] 625 00:35:27,850 --> 00:35:29,550 [all exclaim] 626 00:35:32,310 --> 00:35:35,690 Sometimes when we are startled by a loud noise or an angry mob 627 00:35:35,770 --> 00:35:38,270 looking to confront their hypnotist, we take a step back. 628 00:35:39,350 --> 00:35:40,680 Dr. Orwell was right. 629 00:35:40,770 --> 00:35:44,310 There was a fatal accident at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill that night. 630 00:35:55,980 --> 00:35:57,480 [glass shattering] 631 00:36:06,060 --> 00:36:08,440 How can anyone run in these things? 632 00:36:10,060 --> 00:36:12,940 -Sorry about the doc, boss. -Are you kidding? I'm a free man. 633 00:36:13,020 --> 00:36:17,270 I am never taking a partner again. From now on, Count Olaf works alone! 634 00:36:21,100 --> 00:36:23,180 Can I get a boost? 635 00:36:23,270 --> 00:36:24,730 [spits] 636 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:28,470 [both grunt] 637 00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:31,680 [Olaf] Oh, careful, careful. 638 00:36:35,350 --> 00:36:36,800 Come on! 639 00:36:36,890 --> 00:36:38,930 [Olaf exclaims and screams] 640 00:36:40,100 --> 00:36:42,850 [grunts and screams] 641 00:36:42,930 --> 00:36:45,350 -[thuds] -[Olaf] You ripped my hem! 642 00:36:45,430 --> 00:36:47,050 [retreating footsteps] 643 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,640 I don't recall assigning a night shift! 644 00:36:51,770 --> 00:36:53,270 But I fully approve. 645 00:36:54,270 --> 00:36:57,190 Keep this up and you'll earn your dorm lights back in no time. 646 00:36:57,270 --> 00:37:00,110 -What do we want? -[all] Freedom! 647 00:37:00,180 --> 00:37:02,300 Hey. Hey, wait. Hey! Hey! 648 00:37:02,390 --> 00:37:04,350 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 649 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,730 [softly] That's it. [chuckles] 650 00:37:20,140 --> 00:37:22,300 Oh, excuse me. Excuse me. 651 00:37:22,890 --> 00:37:25,100 -[man] Cheese. [groans] -[Eleanora] Oh! 652 00:37:32,930 --> 00:37:36,890 [Mr. Poe] Hypnosis, child labor, Count Olaf in a dress! 653 00:37:36,980 --> 00:37:40,270 [chuckles] You children certainly have lively imaginations. 654 00:37:40,350 --> 00:37:43,550 But a lumbermill is no substitute for a proper guardian. 655 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,550 You're fortunate that my wife is such a great investigative journalist. 656 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:47,890 How did she find us? 657 00:37:47,980 --> 00:37:49,520 [chuckles] 658 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,720 I heard there was an accident at the lumbermill, 659 00:37:51,810 --> 00:37:53,060 so I came right away. 660 00:37:53,140 --> 00:37:54,470 So you found us by accident? 661 00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,400 -Exactly. [chuckles] -[chuckles] You're fantastic! 662 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,810 I had to! Trust your instincts. 663 00:37:59,890 --> 00:38:01,260 -Every time. Every... -Absolutely. 664 00:38:03,390 --> 00:38:05,510 We never found out what caused that fire. 665 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,930 We know it wasn't our parents. 666 00:38:08,020 --> 00:38:10,150 We don't know if Count Olaf will turn up again. 667 00:38:10,230 --> 00:38:12,400 We know Dr. Orwell won't. 668 00:38:14,230 --> 00:38:17,020 We never solved the mystery of this photograph. 669 00:38:17,850 --> 00:38:20,800 Oh! Baudelaires... 670 00:38:20,890 --> 00:38:22,850 I want to thank you for saving my life. 671 00:38:22,930 --> 00:38:26,300 Because of your quick thinking, I only have a small cut on my foot. 672 00:38:26,390 --> 00:38:27,930 You certainly are clever children. 673 00:38:28,020 --> 00:38:30,940 -Are you leaving Paltryville? -I'm gonna search for Sir. 674 00:38:31,020 --> 00:38:34,270 He may not have been a good partner, or a good boss... 675 00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:35,860 or a good person... 676 00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,680 but someday you'll learn things aren't always black and white. 677 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,440 Ooh, that reminds me. 678 00:38:44,350 --> 00:38:45,680 I thought you should see this. 679 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:49,850 [grunts] Well, tallyho! 680 00:38:55,060 --> 00:38:57,440 "Chapter 12. The Paltryville Fire." 681 00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,110 It's a page from Sir's book. 682 00:38:59,180 --> 00:39:01,760 "The Baudelaires were unequivocally responsible..." 683 00:39:01,850 --> 00:39:06,430 "...for putting out the fire and helping the survivors get back on their feet." 684 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,230 [both chuckle softly] 685 00:39:19,140 --> 00:39:20,550 Look on the bright side. 686 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,300 You're alive! [chuckles] 687 00:39:23,230 --> 00:39:24,360 Officer. 688 00:39:24,430 --> 00:39:25,720 [both chuckle] 689 00:39:28,430 --> 00:39:31,140 I think you children will have a good home here. 690 00:39:31,230 --> 00:39:33,770 I hope so anyway, because I've just received a promotion. 691 00:39:33,850 --> 00:39:36,050 Vice President of Orphan Affairs. 692 00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:38,600 Which means I'll be too busy to check in on you orphans. 693 00:39:39,180 --> 00:39:40,430 What's our new guardian's name? 694 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,610 Guardian? Oh, no. Good God, no. 695 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,510 I couldn't find a single one willing to take you in. 696 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,430 Not after what happened to the last three. Uh, two. 697 00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,110 No, four. 698 00:39:49,180 --> 00:39:50,890 Oh, no, children, you're going to boarding school. 699 00:39:50,980 --> 00:39:53,360 It's the end of the season, um, semester, 700 00:39:53,430 --> 00:39:55,390 so you're gonna have to work very hard to catch up. 701 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,650 It won't be easy, but I promise you it will build character. 702 00:40:02,390 --> 00:40:03,760 Here's a fun bit of trivia. 703 00:40:03,850 --> 00:40:07,300 The architect who built this school was severely depressed. 704 00:40:11,310 --> 00:40:13,730 I always wanted to go to boarding school. 705 00:40:13,810 --> 00:40:15,810 Rules, traditions... 706 00:40:15,890 --> 00:40:18,970 Why, I'd give every last suit just to wear a uniform. 707 00:40:19,060 --> 00:40:20,810 [coughing] 708 00:40:22,980 --> 00:40:24,020 [gulps] 709 00:40:25,230 --> 00:40:27,730 The office is over there. You can wait on that bench. 710 00:40:27,810 --> 00:40:28,900 You're not coming with us? 711 00:40:28,980 --> 00:40:31,150 Oh, this has already taken up much too long already. 712 00:40:31,230 --> 00:40:32,980 Banking hours. 713 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:34,430 Um... 714 00:40:35,020 --> 00:40:36,900 I do want you children to know... 715 00:40:38,140 --> 00:40:39,930 [coughs] 716 00:40:41,930 --> 00:40:44,680 I hope you find comfort here. 717 00:40:49,770 --> 00:40:50,770 [coughs] 718 00:40:51,100 --> 00:40:53,890 Um, this came to the bank for you. I assume it's junk mail. 719 00:40:53,980 --> 00:40:56,270 I can't imagine that you know anyone in South America, 720 00:40:56,350 --> 00:40:58,930 or why the return address is from my secretary. 721 00:41:00,140 --> 00:41:01,300 Um... [chuckles] 722 00:41:02,850 --> 00:41:04,140 So long, Baudelaires. 723 00:41:32,020 --> 00:41:35,730 The statue woman said she'd get it back. Do you think she'll find us again? 724 00:41:36,350 --> 00:41:38,600 Klaus... we're on our own. 725 00:41:41,980 --> 00:41:44,360 [Lemony] In a world both frightening and unlucky, 726 00:41:44,430 --> 00:41:45,720 there are a few comforts. 727 00:41:45,810 --> 00:41:48,110 One of them is making new friends. 728 00:41:48,180 --> 00:41:51,550 Friends can make you feel the world is smaller and safer than it really is, 729 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,510 because you know people who have similar experiences. 730 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:55,850 When you meet people like that, 731 00:41:55,930 --> 00:41:58,890 you may find your world feels a little more complete. 732 00:42:00,350 --> 00:42:02,050 Like the missing piece of a puzzle... 733 00:42:03,310 --> 00:42:06,020 or two halves of a broken spyglass. 734 00:42:08,350 --> 00:42:09,390 Click. 735 00:42:10,060 --> 00:42:11,690 [violin playing rapidly] 736 00:42:31,850 --> 00:42:35,470 ♪ You may think that the Baudelaires Ought to prevail ♪ 737 00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:39,440 ♪ And be tucked some place All safe and sound ♪ 738 00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:42,860 ♪ Count Olaf captured And rotting in jail ♪ 739 00:42:42,930 --> 00:42:46,300 ♪ His henchpeople nowhere around ♪ 740 00:42:46,390 --> 00:42:50,640 ♪ But there's no happy endings Not here and not now ♪ 741 00:42:50,730 --> 00:42:54,190 ♪ This tale is all sorrows and woes ♪ 742 00:42:54,270 --> 00:42:58,230 ♪ You dream that justice And peace win the day ♪ 743 00:42:58,310 --> 00:43:02,480 ♪ But that's not how the story goes ♪ 744 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:07,310 ♪ You might think that two parents Both brave and both true ♪ 745 00:43:07,390 --> 00:43:10,890 ♪ Would live till a nice ripe old age ♪ 746 00:43:10,980 --> 00:43:14,860 ♪ But I'm sad to say I have bad news for you ♪ 747 00:43:14,930 --> 00:43:17,720 ♪ The curtain rings down on the stage ♪ 748 00:43:18,390 --> 00:43:22,260 ♪ Yes, there's no happy endings Not here and not now ♪ 749 00:43:22,350 --> 00:43:25,720 ♪This tale is all sorrows and woes ♪ 750 00:43:25,810 --> 00:43:29,650 ♪ You might dream that justice And peace win the day ♪ 751 00:43:29,730 --> 00:43:34,110 ♪ But that's not how the story goes ♪ 752 00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:39,220 ♪ I once loved a girl And she thought well of me ♪ 753 00:43:39,310 --> 00:43:43,020 ♪ We thought we'd be happy together ♪ 754 00:43:43,100 --> 00:43:46,680 ♪ But now I'm alone As you can well see ♪ 755 00:43:46,770 --> 00:43:50,150 ♪ And she's cold in her grave forever ♪ 756 00:43:54,140 --> 00:43:57,720 ♪ There's no happy endings Not here and not now ♪ 757 00:43:57,810 --> 00:44:01,190 ♪This tale is all sorrows and woes ♪ 758 00:44:01,270 --> 00:44:05,310 ♪ You might dream that justice And peace win the day ♪ 759 00:44:05,390 --> 00:44:09,220 ♪ But that's not how the story goes ♪ 760 00:44:11,180 --> 00:44:14,970 ♪ The world is a pair Of ill-fitting pants ♪ 761 00:44:15,060 --> 00:44:18,310 ♪ And other dire hideous clothes ♪ 762 00:44:18,390 --> 00:44:22,100 ♪ You may think that three children Would lead pleasant lives ♪ 763 00:44:22,180 --> 00:44:25,640 ♪ But that's not how the story goes ♪ 764 00:44:26,230 --> 00:44:29,270 ♪ Some people smile At the end of the day ♪ 765 00:44:29,930 --> 00:44:33,050 ♪ Some people laugh, I suppose ♪ 766 00:44:33,140 --> 00:44:37,260 ♪ But to me there's nothing But gloom and despair ♪ 767 00:44:37,350 --> 00:44:41,010 ♪ That's just how the story goes ♪ 768 00:44:41,100 --> 00:44:43,350 ♪ That's just how the story-- ♪ 769 00:44:43,430 --> 00:44:45,100 [coughing] 770 00:44:45,180 --> 00:44:46,800 [Sunny whistling] 771 00:44:49,180 --> 00:44:51,180 [vocalizing] 772 00:44:56,100 --> 00:44:57,760 [continues whistling] 773 00:44:58,730 --> 00:45:00,730 [Mr. Poe continues vocalizing] 774 00:45:05,430 --> 00:45:07,850 -Mmm, that's nice. -[radio dial clicks] 775 00:45:11,730 --> 00:45:14,650 [instrumental theme music plays]