1 00:00:00,002 --> 00:00:05,002 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA www.PSArips.com 2 00:00:06,083 --> 00:00:08,041 [theme song playing] 3 00:00:10,875 --> 00:00:13,708 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 4 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:18,083 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 5 00:00:18,166 --> 00:00:21,750 ♪ This show will wreck your evening Your whole life and your day ♪ 6 00:00:21,833 --> 00:00:25,333 ♪ Every single episode Is nothing but dismay ♪ 7 00:00:25,416 --> 00:00:30,166 ♪ So look away Look away, look away ♪ 8 00:00:30,833 --> 00:00:33,916 ♪ The town of VFD Is full of people full of rules ♪ 9 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,416 ♪ The Quagmires have once again Been kidnapped for their jewels ♪ 10 00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:41,041 ♪ The Baudelaires must rescue them But end up getting jailed ♪ 11 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:45,250 ♪ You might hope that things improve But I'm afraid that ship has sailed ♪ 12 00:00:45,333 --> 00:00:49,708 ♪ Just look away, look away ♪ 13 00:00:49,791 --> 00:00:53,375 ♪ There's nothing but horror And inconvenience on the way ♪ 14 00:00:53,458 --> 00:00:56,541 ♪ Ask any stable person,"Should I watch?" And they will say ♪ 15 00:00:56,625 --> 00:01:01,333 ♪ Look away, look away, look away ♪ 16 00:01:01,416 --> 00:01:05,000 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 17 00:01:05,083 --> 00:01:08,500 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 18 00:01:08,583 --> 00:01:12,291 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 19 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:16,875 [typing] 20 00:01:26,791 --> 00:01:28,750 [cawing] 21 00:01:36,416 --> 00:01:39,458 If the story of the Baudelaire orphans was a car trip, 22 00:01:39,541 --> 00:01:43,791 it would be unpleasant, uncomfortable, and interminably long. 23 00:01:44,791 --> 00:01:46,208 [Mr. Poe coughing] 24 00:01:47,791 --> 00:01:50,583 This car trip has been interminably long. 25 00:01:50,666 --> 00:01:52,875 Who knew the Hinterlands were so far away? 26 00:01:52,958 --> 00:01:55,375 That's why they're called Hinterlands. 27 00:01:55,458 --> 00:01:58,916 Nobody likes a backseat driver. Tell me when that turn is coming up. 28 00:01:59,958 --> 00:02:01,750 [babbles] 29 00:02:02,458 --> 00:02:05,958 My name is Lemony Snicket, and I have the sad undertaking 30 00:02:06,041 --> 00:02:08,250 of chronicling the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, 31 00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:14,416 whose long car trip will soon end here, in the barely picturesque village of VFD. 32 00:02:15,791 --> 00:02:19,333 Before long, they'll find themselves bewildered and bedeviled 33 00:02:19,416 --> 00:02:22,416 in the town's attractive if drafty town hall. 34 00:02:23,291 --> 00:02:27,458 Desperate and despondent near this prominent but off-putting landmark 35 00:02:27,541 --> 00:02:29,208 known as Fowl Fountain. 36 00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:33,250 It is the Baudelaires' destiny to arrive here. 37 00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:35,125 But you could be someplace else. 38 00:02:35,208 --> 00:02:38,458 And within moments, you'll most certainly wish you were. 39 00:02:39,541 --> 00:02:40,958 [continues coughing] 40 00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:47,250 "It takes a village to raise a child." 41 00:02:47,916 --> 00:02:49,833 What a lovely, lovely aphorism. 42 00:02:49,916 --> 00:02:52,500 An aphorism is a phrase that can sound mysterious, 43 00:02:52,583 --> 00:02:54,458 but, in fact, is very wise. 44 00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:55,625 We know what aphorism means. 45 00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:57,833 Then perhaps you'll know this one means 46 00:02:57,916 --> 00:03:01,833 the responsibility of raising young people belongs to every member of a community. 47 00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:04,708 That's exactly what's going to happen to you in the village of VFD. 48 00:03:04,791 --> 00:03:06,500 Instead of having one guardian, 49 00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:09,208 who could be murdered or end up in cahoots with a villain, 50 00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:11,250 you'll have hundreds of people caring for you. 51 00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:12,333 What could go wrong? 52 00:03:12,416 --> 00:03:14,833 Everything's already gone wrong. We've lost our friends twice. 53 00:03:14,916 --> 00:03:17,458 Yes, well... 54 00:03:18,083 --> 00:03:21,291 Would you look at this brochure? It has pictures. 55 00:03:24,625 --> 00:03:27,791 [Violet] An entire village will be in charge of us? That's a lot of people. 56 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:31,083 I imagine they'll draw lots like in that Shirley Jackson story. 57 00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:34,083 Normally, I prefer a more traditional family structure, 58 00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:37,250 but for some unknown reason, neither the individual guardian 59 00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:39,541 or the academic institution is working for you. 60 00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:41,208 The reason isn't unknown. It's Olaf. 61 00:03:41,291 --> 00:03:43,500 He follows us everywhere. He kidnapped the Quagmires. 62 00:03:43,583 --> 00:03:45,416 -Those poor twins. -Triplets. 63 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,041 Twins. Their brother's death changes their birth identity. 64 00:03:48,125 --> 00:03:49,791 -No, it doesn't. -It hardly matters. 65 00:03:49,875 --> 00:03:52,541 Thanks to the constant coverage in my wife's newspaper, 66 00:03:52,625 --> 00:03:54,750 I'm sure Count Omar will be captured in no time at all. 67 00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:57,083 -Olaf. -Yes, I meant to say Omar. 68 00:03:57,166 --> 00:04:00,500 Besides, I doubt he'd be able to find you way out in the Hinterlands. 69 00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:03,250 It would take an interminably long time. 70 00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:11,541 [Olaf] We've followed those Baudelaires for an interminably long time. 71 00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:13,041 Isn't it marvelous? 72 00:04:13,125 --> 00:04:15,000 There's nothing like a trip in a getaway car. 73 00:04:15,083 --> 00:04:17,416 I needed a getaway from that dirty, grimy city 74 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,083 and all the people after me there. 75 00:04:20,208 --> 00:04:22,375 Be honest. What do you think of my hat? 76 00:04:22,458 --> 00:04:24,708 -You look beautiful. -I wish I had skin like yours. 77 00:04:24,791 --> 00:04:27,000 -I wish I was wearing your skin. -You look nice. 78 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:30,208 Don't look now, but someone's following us. 79 00:04:30,291 --> 00:04:33,583 I said don't look. Never mind. 80 00:04:33,666 --> 00:04:37,166 Oh, no. Is it the paparazzi or the press? 81 00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:40,041 [gasps] Or my husband? His lawyers have been calling. 82 00:04:40,125 --> 00:04:41,625 It's a taxi. About a mile back. 83 00:04:41,708 --> 00:04:43,625 He's been behind us an interminably long time. 84 00:04:43,708 --> 00:04:46,791 You didn't think to mention someone is following us? 85 00:04:46,875 --> 00:04:49,291 -I wanted it to be a surprise? -Is it the police? 86 00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:51,041 Why would the police take a taxi? 87 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,708 Whoever it is, they seem to be obeying the speed limit. 88 00:04:53,791 --> 00:04:57,958 There's only one taxi driver I know who cares about obeying the law. 89 00:04:58,041 --> 00:05:03,750 There's a shortcut up here someplace. Let's see Snicket try to follow us now. 90 00:05:03,833 --> 00:05:05,208 [Esmé exclaims] 91 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:11,166 He just made a left-hand turn without signaling. 92 00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:14,916 That man's villainy knows no bounds. But we'll catch up soon. 93 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,541 He's after the Baudelaires, and we know where they're headed. 94 00:05:18,583 --> 00:05:22,875 VFD. What a charming fountain. 95 00:05:22,958 --> 00:05:24,833 [Klaus] Don't fountains typically have water? 96 00:05:24,916 --> 00:05:27,250 Typically, but this is a dry county. There's no water. 97 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,666 -It means there's no alcohol. -[coughs] 98 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:32,791 Tomato, to-mah-to. Now, you Baudelaires wait here 99 00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:35,166 while I go into town hall and finalize your paperwork. 100 00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:36,500 Then I'll be leaving you. 101 00:05:36,583 --> 00:05:38,375 I have a long drive back to the city, 102 00:05:38,458 --> 00:05:40,500 and my wife and I have tickets to the theater. 103 00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:42,916 Sunny, don't feed the pigeons. 104 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:43,833 [babbles] 105 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:47,375 I've read three books about crows. They're harmless. 106 00:05:47,458 --> 00:05:50,000 There's a word for a large number of crows. 107 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,500 I can't think of it. 108 00:05:51,583 --> 00:05:52,791 [babbles] 109 00:05:52,875 --> 00:05:55,291 -That only applies to larks. -I hope we're in the right place. 110 00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:57,291 This town is called VFD. It has to be connected. 111 00:05:57,375 --> 00:05:59,958 We had the wrong VFD at Veblen Hall. We could have the wrong VFD. 112 00:06:00,041 --> 00:06:02,000 I hope Duncan and Isadora are here. 113 00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:04,958 Me, too. Maybe we can ask someone if they've seen them. 114 00:06:05,041 --> 00:06:07,416 -[babbles] -You mean... [imitates cawing] 115 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:10,000 Owls say... [imitates hooting] 116 00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:11,833 It's wonderful you're practicing bird calls, 117 00:06:11,916 --> 00:06:13,333 but you have an appointment. 118 00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:14,833 The Council of Elders will see you. 119 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,125 -The Council of Elders? -Will see you now. 120 00:06:17,208 --> 00:06:20,750 They know everything there is to know about VFD. They're as wise as... 121 00:06:23,041 --> 00:06:27,208 [stammers] What's that bird known to be mysterious and wise? The... 122 00:06:27,291 --> 00:06:29,125 -If they know everything... -They can help. 123 00:06:29,208 --> 00:06:31,833 A heron! No, a mockingbird. 124 00:06:31,916 --> 00:06:33,458 Goodbye. Thank you for the ride. 125 00:06:33,541 --> 00:06:35,541 A grackle? Um, no, it'll come to me. 126 00:06:36,208 --> 00:06:38,125 Perhaps it's some kind of booby? 127 00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:41,500 Did I see a saloon around here somewhere? 128 00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:49,000 This saloon is the perfect place to hide out while we hunt the Baudelaires. 129 00:06:49,083 --> 00:06:52,916 Ooh, there's a pole. Are you sure this isn't more of a club? 130 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,250 That's a fire pole, love. 131 00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,833 This saloon was a firehouse until it was shut down 132 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,583 under mysterious and complicated circumstances. 133 00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:03,500 Oh, I see they haven't changed the decor a bit. Barkeep! 134 00:07:03,583 --> 00:07:04,666 [Esmé sighs] 135 00:07:05,375 --> 00:07:08,833 [groans] It looks like no one's been in this place for a long time. 136 00:07:09,541 --> 00:07:10,958 Maybe it's a dry county. 137 00:07:11,041 --> 00:07:14,458 Oh, sweet, fresh country... 138 00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:16,916 [breathes heavily] 139 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,916 [choking] I can't... 140 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,291 Breathe, breathe. Esmé, you sound like that banker. 141 00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:24,708 [coughing] 142 00:07:24,791 --> 00:07:26,458 [Mr. Poe coughing] 143 00:07:30,666 --> 00:07:34,291 Hello? Anybody here? 144 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,458 Hello? 145 00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:41,250 [continues coughing] 146 00:07:42,708 --> 00:07:45,666 Hello? Anybody here? Hello? 147 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:48,041 [as bartender] Howdy! What can I get for you, 148 00:07:48,125 --> 00:07:50,208 total stranger who I've never seen before? 149 00:07:50,291 --> 00:07:53,416 I would like your strongest and coldest sarsaparilla. 150 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,416 One sarsaparilla coming up! 151 00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:58,791 Oh. 152 00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:01,125 Here you go. 153 00:08:01,208 --> 00:08:05,000 So, tell me, traveler, what brings you to these parts? 154 00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:07,291 How was the road? Did you bring any childrens? 155 00:08:07,375 --> 00:08:10,333 I'm delighted to tell you the Baudelaires are now yours. 156 00:08:10,416 --> 00:08:12,916 -[as Olaf] That was easy. -Yours and everyone else's. 157 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,541 I've delivered them to this town's aphorism-based guardianship program, 158 00:08:16,625 --> 00:08:18,791 It Takes a Village. Mazel tov! 159 00:08:18,875 --> 00:08:20,500 [as bartender] L'Heimlich! 160 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,125 [sighs] I always wanted orphans. 161 00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:25,833 [moans] 162 00:08:25,916 --> 00:08:27,333 [fake crying] 163 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:32,875 This morning, I thought I was just a lonely, single bartender... 164 00:08:32,958 --> 00:08:34,375 [fake crying] 165 00:08:34,458 --> 00:08:36,875 ...and now I have a fortune of childrens, 166 00:08:36,958 --> 00:08:39,875 or whatever the word is for a large number of 'em. 167 00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:41,666 [continues fake crying] 168 00:08:41,750 --> 00:08:45,458 Last call. Anything else I can get you aside from the check? 169 00:08:45,541 --> 00:08:47,416 No, I'll be getting back to the city. 170 00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:51,500 [sighs] Thank you for this refreshing yet substantially overpriced beverage. 171 00:08:51,583 --> 00:08:53,708 Enjoy the communal raising of children. 172 00:08:53,791 --> 00:08:57,541 My wife and I decided to raise Edgar and Albert on our own. 173 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,541 It took one trip to a kibbutz to realize that-- 174 00:09:00,625 --> 00:09:01,791 [Esmé coughs] 175 00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:06,625 Gesundheit. 176 00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:13,416 [as Olaf] The Baudelaires are here. 177 00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:16,416 They've been placed under the care of the village. 178 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:19,125 We heard. We were next to you, behind this dusty bar. 179 00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:21,041 You, bring me the red herring. 180 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,416 You two, bring some rags for dusting. 181 00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:28,666 I do not want one more speck of dust invading the nostrils of the woman I love. 182 00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:31,333 I love when you talk about my mucus membranes. 183 00:09:31,416 --> 00:09:34,708 Oh, I'm not sure which I love more, your membranes or your mucus. 184 00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:38,916 Oh, Esmé, I'm going to give you everything you never had back in the city. 185 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,958 Darling, I was so wealthy, I had everything I wanted. 186 00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:45,916 And now I'm squatting in a dusty saloon with a bunch of actors. 187 00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:49,625 I am the luckiest woman alive. 188 00:09:49,708 --> 00:09:50,833 [chuckles softly] 189 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:52,875 [hook-handed man grunting] 190 00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:57,208 [pants] That fish weighs as much as two kidnapped children. 191 00:09:57,291 --> 00:09:59,125 It certainly does. 192 00:09:59,208 --> 00:10:02,125 They're awfully quiet. Should we have added more air holes? 193 00:10:02,208 --> 00:10:06,541 Ugh, they'll be fine. They're probably hoarse from all that screaming. 194 00:10:06,625 --> 00:10:08,458 But if Snicket's followed us, 195 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:11,583 we'll need to stash them somewhere less conspicuous. 196 00:10:11,666 --> 00:10:13,916 Less conspicuous than a bright red statue of a fish? 197 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,791 I know just the place. 198 00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:19,625 Now, while we're here, we can't risk being recognized by the authorities. 199 00:10:19,708 --> 00:10:21,500 Darling, you're up. 200 00:10:21,583 --> 00:10:23,333 [Esmé] Costumes, everyone! 201 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,625 -[sing-song] Costumes! -Ooh. 202 00:10:27,708 --> 00:10:28,833 [all giggling] 203 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:33,000 Now, this is a small town filled with regular folk. 204 00:10:33,083 --> 00:10:37,375 We need to blend in with plain, normal, upstanding, heartfelt, decent, 205 00:10:37,458 --> 00:10:39,791 simple, dependable, respectable people. 206 00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:43,416 The bonnet might be a bit much. 207 00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:48,083 [indistinct chatter] 208 00:10:48,166 --> 00:10:52,083 [Annabelle] The Council of Elders calls this special town meeting to order. 209 00:10:52,166 --> 00:10:53,083 Hello, my dears. 210 00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:54,833 [Jemma] We're pleased you made it. 211 00:10:54,916 --> 00:10:58,541 Step onto the platform so your Elders can get a good look at you. 212 00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,208 -Hello, I'm Violet-- -Silence! 213 00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:05,375 Rule number 902 states that no one may talk while on the platform. 214 00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:09,416 Baudelaires, we know your story well. The tragic death of your parents. 215 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:12,458 The unfortunate loss of numerous guardians. 216 00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:17,875 How you have been pursued relentlessly by a wicked count out to steal your fortune. 217 00:11:17,958 --> 00:11:19,541 Your troubles end here. 218 00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:23,375 We recently made up a new rule to solve all your problems. 219 00:11:23,458 --> 00:11:27,458 Rule number 9,833 states 220 00:11:27,541 --> 00:11:31,208 no villains will be allowed within the city limits. 221 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,958 You're safe at last. 222 00:11:33,041 --> 00:11:34,500 -I don't think-- -Silence! 223 00:11:34,583 --> 00:11:35,916 -Count Olaf-- -Silence. 224 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:36,833 [babbles] 225 00:11:36,916 --> 00:11:38,875 Silence, even for babies! 226 00:11:38,958 --> 00:11:41,458 Now, the next order of business. 227 00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:44,750 When children have guardians, guardians make them do chores. 228 00:11:44,833 --> 00:11:47,458 We are all your guardians now. 229 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:50,875 It follows that you will be doing all of our chores. 230 00:11:50,958 --> 00:11:52,333 For the entire village. 231 00:11:52,416 --> 00:11:54,000 [cheering] 232 00:11:54,708 --> 00:11:55,750 Any questions? 233 00:11:55,833 --> 00:11:57,416 -I beg your pardon, but-- -Silence! 234 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,333 For the fourth and fifth time! 235 00:11:59,416 --> 00:12:03,583 How many times do we have to tell you about rule number 902, hmm? 236 00:12:03,666 --> 00:12:07,666 What we meant was, are there any questions from the town? 237 00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:09,916 -[Annabelle] Mrs. Morrow? -Thank you. 238 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,291 I am all in favor for the "It Takes a Village" program 239 00:12:13,375 --> 00:12:14,458 and others doing my chores. 240 00:12:14,541 --> 00:12:17,375 But these children were involved in that kidnapping scandal. 241 00:12:17,458 --> 00:12:19,000 I don't want trouble in my town. 242 00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:22,625 -That wasn't a question. -It was more of a statement. 243 00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:24,333 -Me, me! -[Annabelle] Man in plaid pants? 244 00:12:24,416 --> 00:12:26,208 Yes, I have a question. 245 00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:28,666 Where are these children going to live? 246 00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:30,625 It may take a village to raise a child, 247 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:34,958 but I don't want noisy children cluttering up my home, eh? Right? 248 00:12:35,041 --> 00:12:38,625 -Silence! -Now, there's no need to fuss. 249 00:12:38,708 --> 00:12:43,750 The orphans will live with our handyman, Hector. Isn't that right, Hector? 250 00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:52,166 [stutters] I, uh... 251 00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:53,416 [Annabelle] Hector? 252 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,583 I... [breathing heavily] 253 00:12:57,708 --> 00:12:58,708 I... 254 00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:08,708 The Council of Elders takes Hector's latest fainting spell to mean 255 00:13:08,791 --> 00:13:12,541 Hector will feed and clothe them and teach them our rules, 256 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,833 so they won't do terrible things like talking on the platform! 257 00:13:15,916 --> 00:13:17,875 Isn't that right, Hector? 258 00:13:18,541 --> 00:13:19,833 [panting] 259 00:13:21,291 --> 00:13:22,291 Well, you... 260 00:13:23,041 --> 00:13:25,250 [Annabelle] The Council hears no objections. 261 00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:30,166 Now, the next item of business, a report from the chief of police. 262 00:13:33,875 --> 00:13:36,666 -Ciao. Hello. I'm here... -Esmé Squalor. 263 00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:39,333 If Esmé's here, so is Olaf. And if Olaf is here... 264 00:13:39,416 --> 00:13:40,875 So are the Quagmires. 265 00:13:42,333 --> 00:13:43,875 [Klaus grunts] 266 00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:49,458 Greetings, VFD. My name is Officer Sabrina Pepper Anastasia Marigold. 267 00:13:49,541 --> 00:13:55,333 But you may call me Officer Luciana, your new chief of police. 268 00:13:55,416 --> 00:13:59,500 What happened to the old chief of police? I kind of liked that guy. 269 00:13:59,583 --> 00:14:00,833 He has a sore throat. 270 00:14:00,916 --> 00:14:03,500 He accidentally swallowed a box of thumbtacks. 271 00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:05,125 We didn't hire a replacement. 272 00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:08,208 The agency sent me. 273 00:14:08,291 --> 00:14:12,083 VFD, I bring you protection and style. 274 00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:18,083 Enjoy my fabulous officious outfit as I serve up piles and piles of justice. 275 00:14:18,166 --> 00:14:19,500 -We have to tell the Council-- -Silence! 276 00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:22,375 We can see your lips moving. 277 00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:26,041 Whispering is talking, and there's no talking on the platform. 278 00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:29,791 -Unless you're chief of police. -[all] Unless you're chief of police. 279 00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:35,708 And as chief of police, I will make sure that rule-breakers are severely punished. 280 00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:39,583 -That sounds perfect. -I am big fan of severe punishment. 281 00:14:39,666 --> 00:14:45,083 In fact, I will personally take care of people who break even the tiniest rule. 282 00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:47,666 -[white-faced women] Hear! Hear! -I like this chief of police! 283 00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:49,375 -She's very attractive. -Aw. 284 00:14:49,458 --> 00:14:51,666 I admire her for her capabilities. 285 00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:53,708 Yeah! 286 00:14:57,666 --> 00:15:01,750 [kissing] Grazie. Aw, so kind. Grazie. 287 00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:05,500 As you can see, we have eyes everywhere. 288 00:15:05,583 --> 00:15:07,750 And we are always watching. 289 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:12,666 Now, off you go! Good luck in your new home. 290 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,291 -What do we do now? -That's the trouble with small towns. 291 00:15:19,375 --> 00:15:21,333 Once you infiltrate the police, not much to do. 292 00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:22,416 Vandalism? 293 00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:24,125 The Baudelaires will be cleaning up this town. 294 00:15:24,208 --> 00:15:26,458 Maybe we could make it a little dirtier. 295 00:15:26,541 --> 00:15:29,083 [Olaf singing] ♪ Orphans ♪ 296 00:15:29,166 --> 00:15:32,791 ♪ Love scatting about orphans ♪ [scatting] 297 00:15:32,875 --> 00:15:36,875 ♪ Nothing rhymes with orphans ♪ [scatting] 298 00:15:36,958 --> 00:15:39,416 ♪ Except for maybe portions ♪ 299 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:42,458 ♪ Oh, yeah, or arson ♪ 300 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:45,583 ♪ That's more of like a half rhyme ♪ 301 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,125 Beat it out. [beatboxing] 302 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:51,208 [rapping] ♪ A wealthy orphan's Like a well-fed cat ♪ 303 00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:54,750 ♪ I lay my eyes on one And I just want to scat ♪ 304 00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:56,333 [scatting] 305 00:16:07,208 --> 00:16:09,833 [as bartender] Welcome to the Firehouse Saloon. 306 00:16:09,916 --> 00:16:14,000 I have extremely pricey beverages which you have to pay cash for. 307 00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:19,291 I'll take a tall glass of Justice on the rocks 308 00:16:20,708 --> 00:16:23,500 with a garnish of Your Wicked Schemes Stop Here. 309 00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:29,666 [as Olaf] We're all out. 310 00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:32,833 But I can pour you a double shot of You'll Never Take Me Alive. 311 00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,875 -You haven't changed. -Thank you. 312 00:16:38,958 --> 00:16:41,125 New hat? It makes your head look funny. 313 00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:44,500 [Olaf grunts] 314 00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:47,791 [Olivia] Yee-haw! 315 00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:49,250 [whip cracking] 316 00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:51,291 I'll have what he's having. 317 00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:54,208 Who are you? Wait a minute. [sniffs] 318 00:16:54,291 --> 00:16:55,791 The smell of paste. 319 00:16:55,875 --> 00:16:58,541 The glassy-eyed stare of someone who works with children. 320 00:16:58,625 --> 00:17:00,375 You're that school librarian. 321 00:17:00,458 --> 00:17:02,458 That was a long time ago. 322 00:17:02,541 --> 00:17:05,375 It wasn't that long ago. It was actually a few-- 323 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,916 The jig is up, Olaf. 324 00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:09,083 Jig? 325 00:17:09,166 --> 00:17:13,458 It's a phrase which means your scheme has been undone. As Dante said-- 326 00:17:13,541 --> 00:17:15,583 [scatting] 327 00:17:15,666 --> 00:17:17,000 Dante never said that. 328 00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:18,583 [scatting] 329 00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,250 Ooh! [grunts] 330 00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:35,958 Ow. [sighs] 331 00:17:36,958 --> 00:17:39,166 -Where are the triplets? -I thought they were twins. 332 00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:41,666 -Where are they? -There's two of them, right? 333 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:43,916 One writes poetry and one cries all the time. 334 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,125 We shouldn't do this here. 335 00:17:45,208 --> 00:17:47,625 Anyone could walk into this saloon who's over 18. 336 00:17:47,708 --> 00:17:49,125 [grunts] 337 00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:51,458 -You know what these are? -Bracelet things of justice. 338 00:17:51,541 --> 00:17:53,625 -It's on the tip of my tongue. -Time's up. Handcuffs. 339 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,833 -Handcuffs! Who knew? -Gag him. 340 00:17:55,916 --> 00:17:58,250 That's not my color. I'm more of a spring-summer. 341 00:17:58,333 --> 00:18:01,041 You don't deserve to wear colors that complement your complexion. 342 00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:02,916 [muffled grunting] 343 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,416 -It's fun, isn't it? -What? 344 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,458 Getting your man. 345 00:18:05,541 --> 00:18:07,375 [muffled] Question. Who is Dante? 346 00:18:07,458 --> 00:18:10,750 An Italian poet. 13th century. He wrote The Divine Comedy. 347 00:18:10,833 --> 00:18:11,875 Oh. 348 00:18:13,583 --> 00:18:15,000 [Olaf grunts] 349 00:18:15,083 --> 00:18:16,291 [Hector] Sorry I fainted. 350 00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:18,958 The Elders are so scary, they make me woozy. 351 00:18:19,041 --> 00:18:21,916 I'm excited you're staying with me. I've never been a guardian. 352 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,333 -Anything you need, let Hector know. -Thanks. We really need your help. 353 00:18:25,416 --> 00:18:27,708 The chief of police is our friends' kidnapper's girlfriend. 354 00:18:27,791 --> 00:18:29,666 His awful accomplices were there, too. 355 00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:31,875 Are you saying this to make my day more scary? 356 00:18:31,958 --> 00:18:35,208 -Are you going to faint again? -No. I'm getting ready to run. 357 00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:38,916 We should run in a random direction and not stop until we're miles away. 358 00:18:39,666 --> 00:18:41,041 We came to find our friends. 359 00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:44,958 -We believe they're nearby. -The only clue are the letters VFD. 360 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,583 -We don't know what those stand for. -Village of Fowl Devotees. 361 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:49,583 That's what VFD stands for. 362 00:18:49,666 --> 00:18:51,916 -Fowl means birds. -Murder! Sorry. 363 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,958 That's the word I was thinking of. Murder is a group of crows. 364 00:18:55,041 --> 00:18:57,291 There's not only murder in this town. There's a secret. 365 00:18:57,375 --> 00:18:59,583 -It's connected with Olaf. -And our missing friends. 366 00:19:01,083 --> 00:19:03,000 I have no idea what you're saying right now. 367 00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:06,083 You can explain it on the way to my house. It's a mile away as the crows fly. 368 00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:07,458 You mean "as the crow flies," 369 00:19:07,541 --> 00:19:09,541 the shortest distance between two points. 370 00:19:09,625 --> 00:19:12,083 No, literally, I mean as the crows fly. 371 00:19:13,291 --> 00:19:14,708 [crows cawing] 372 00:19:33,166 --> 00:19:37,541 Awesome! That's a word that means inspiring awe. 373 00:19:38,541 --> 00:19:40,750 Every morning, the crows roost in the town square. 374 00:19:40,833 --> 00:19:43,083 Every evening, they migrate to Nevermore Tree 375 00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:44,166 in the backyard of your new home. 376 00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,083 Come on. Tell me your story on the way. 377 00:19:46,166 --> 00:19:49,833 -It's a long story. -That's okay. It's a long walk. 378 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,000 [Hector] I'm sorry I'm crying, but that is an unbelievably sad story. 379 00:19:55,083 --> 00:19:56,666 I bet you're not halfway done. 380 00:19:56,750 --> 00:20:00,000 We won't be done until we rescue the Quagmires and escape from Olaf. 381 00:20:00,083 --> 00:20:01,583 I wish I could help. 382 00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:05,208 You can explain to the Council of Elders Olaf must be somewhere in town. 383 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:08,083 I meant some way I could help that wouldn't be scary. 384 00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,666 -We'd be there with you. -The Council knows you. 385 00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:12,291 They'd believe you if you told them. 386 00:20:12,375 --> 00:20:13,791 It doesn't matter if they know you. 387 00:20:13,875 --> 00:20:15,958 They knew my ma, and they didn't believe her. 388 00:20:16,041 --> 00:20:18,333 Now I live alone on the outskirts of town. 389 00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:19,500 What happened to your ma? 390 00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:21,416 [breathing heavily] 391 00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:26,875 It's too painful. I can't talk about it. 392 00:20:27,541 --> 00:20:29,625 I'm sorry. I'd like to help, 393 00:20:29,708 --> 00:20:32,666 but this place has so many rules, I wouldn't know where to start. 394 00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:34,750 You have to keep a lot of secrets in this town. 395 00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:36,416 Here, let me show you. 396 00:20:47,875 --> 00:20:49,208 [scanner beeps] 397 00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:08,958 -What do you think? Isn't she beautiful? -[Klaus] What is it? 398 00:21:10,083 --> 00:21:12,208 -It's our ticket out of this town. -But what is it? 399 00:21:12,791 --> 00:21:14,833 It's a self-sustaining hot air mobile home. 400 00:21:14,916 --> 00:21:19,125 -A self-sustaining hot air mobile home. -A self-sustaining hot air mobile home. 401 00:21:19,208 --> 00:21:20,375 [Klaus] Like a hot air balloon? 402 00:21:20,458 --> 00:21:23,083 It's the same idea, only each basket is its own room. 403 00:21:23,166 --> 00:21:24,458 It's like an entire flying house. 404 00:21:24,541 --> 00:21:27,333 Or it will be, once I run more tests on the engine. 405 00:21:27,416 --> 00:21:28,625 Did you invent it? 406 00:21:28,708 --> 00:21:30,458 Rule number 67 states 407 00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:33,250 no citizen is allowed to use or build mechanical devices. 408 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:36,208 The Council of Elders instructed me to destroy our inventing materials, 409 00:21:36,291 --> 00:21:37,291 but I brought them here. 410 00:21:37,375 --> 00:21:38,958 I've been working on this device since. 411 00:21:39,041 --> 00:21:40,958 I've loaded the baskets with all the necessities. 412 00:21:41,041 --> 00:21:42,125 Is that a library? 413 00:21:44,916 --> 00:21:47,083 So rule number 108 bans all books, 414 00:21:47,166 --> 00:21:49,291 except for a boring one called The Littlest Elf, 415 00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,000 and of course, the book of VFD rules. 416 00:21:51,083 --> 00:21:53,333 The Council told me to burn the rest, but I hid them 417 00:21:53,416 --> 00:21:54,541 so I have something to read. 418 00:21:55,416 --> 00:21:57,541 Oh, and I've packed plenty of food. 419 00:21:57,625 --> 00:21:58,541 [babbles] 420 00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:01,708 What my sister means is she loves crunchy foods that are fun to bite. 421 00:22:01,791 --> 00:22:05,041 Rule number 8,675 clearly states 422 00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:07,333 citizens can't use their mouths for recreation. 423 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:11,791 But I like crunchy foods, too. I've got a basket full of Mexican turnips. 424 00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:13,000 [babbles] 425 00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:15,500 You're very brave to defy the Council of Elders. 426 00:22:15,583 --> 00:22:17,083 Only behind closed doors. 427 00:22:17,166 --> 00:22:19,333 When I'm in front of them, all I do is faint, 428 00:22:19,416 --> 00:22:21,708 which is why I have to leave this place. It's too scary. 429 00:22:21,791 --> 00:22:23,583 Plus the fainting is hard on my lower back. 430 00:22:23,666 --> 00:22:24,500 Ah. 431 00:22:26,125 --> 00:22:29,750 Maybe you could come with me. It's big enough for four or even six. 432 00:22:29,833 --> 00:22:32,458 The engine is self-sustaining. It should last 100 years. 433 00:22:34,083 --> 00:22:36,833 Once we go up, we never have to come down. 434 00:22:37,833 --> 00:22:43,791 No more rules, no more VFD. We could live up in the air forever. 435 00:22:43,875 --> 00:22:45,125 Forever? 436 00:22:45,208 --> 00:22:47,041 Don't you want to escape your long, sad story? 437 00:22:47,125 --> 00:22:48,416 It's a marvelous invention. 438 00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:50,708 Maybe when we get our friends out of danger. 439 00:22:50,791 --> 00:22:53,750 -And when Olaf is behind bars. -Who knows when that will happen. 440 00:22:53,833 --> 00:22:59,041 Trapped. Caught like a trap in a rat. 441 00:23:00,291 --> 00:23:01,375 I can't sleep. 442 00:23:02,125 --> 00:23:05,083 These dark, dank walls are closing in. 443 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,875 I call to you, spirits of the jail cell, save me! 444 00:23:09,958 --> 00:23:11,375 Save me! 445 00:23:12,750 --> 00:23:17,208 How long has it been? The days turn to months. 446 00:23:17,291 --> 00:23:19,375 It's been eight minutes. Do you want some tea? 447 00:23:19,458 --> 00:23:22,166 No, thank you. You always make it too bitter. 448 00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:24,291 I thought this jail had a deluxe cell. 449 00:23:24,375 --> 00:23:26,916 -This is the deluxe cell. -That's bad news. 450 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,291 Want some more bad news? You'll crack eventually. 451 00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:30,416 For being offered tea? 452 00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:32,833 You've tried that on me for years. It hardly ever works. 453 00:23:32,916 --> 00:23:35,166 You're going to tell us where the Quagmires are. 454 00:23:35,250 --> 00:23:37,416 We expect the chief of police to be back any minute. 455 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,166 -Do you now? -I do now. 456 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,208 He or she will put you in the hands of the authorities, 457 00:23:42,291 --> 00:23:45,625 and you'll spend a long time in a cell of this quality or perhaps worse. 458 00:23:45,708 --> 00:23:46,708 Do you want to know why? 459 00:23:46,791 --> 00:23:48,833 Is this where you give the big speech about-- 460 00:23:48,916 --> 00:23:51,875 Because we represent the true human tradition, 461 00:23:52,458 --> 00:23:56,041 the best chance of extinguishing chaos and cruelty. 462 00:23:56,125 --> 00:23:59,333 We may be defeated, at least for a time. But we will never disappear. 463 00:23:59,416 --> 00:24:03,000 Not so long as there are noble, well-read people to take up the cause. 464 00:24:10,416 --> 00:24:11,791 You still believe that? 465 00:24:14,708 --> 00:24:19,916 Yes, I do. Now, where are the children? 466 00:24:22,208 --> 00:24:24,250 [Olaf scatting] 467 00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:27,083 -Did he talk? -Mostly about himself. 468 00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:29,958 -He won't tell us where the Quagmires are. -I want to find them. 469 00:24:30,041 --> 00:24:32,416 We know they're nearby and alive. 470 00:24:32,500 --> 00:24:34,458 Olaf needs them to get their sapphires. 471 00:24:34,541 --> 00:24:37,291 Once we hand him to the chief of police, we'll search the town. 472 00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:39,916 They must be so scared. The Baudelaires, too. 473 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,625 We all learn bravery the hard way, Olivia. 474 00:24:41,708 --> 00:24:44,000 I was scared when I joined the VFD. 475 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,625 I was told memorizing a certain poem might help. 476 00:24:46,708 --> 00:24:49,500 When my siblings and I reached the VFD headquarters, 477 00:24:49,583 --> 00:24:51,833 we learned how to hit an olive with a bow and arrow. 478 00:24:51,916 --> 00:24:54,041 We learned how to dance the waltz and the watusi, 479 00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:55,416 and how to determine if a poison 480 00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:58,291 had been introduced into a cheese fondue without tasting it. 481 00:24:58,375 --> 00:25:01,458 But we were there voluntarily. We're volunteers. 482 00:25:04,666 --> 00:25:05,625 [kettle whistling] 483 00:25:07,541 --> 00:25:09,958 -More tea? -Wait. Show me your tea leaves. 484 00:25:10,833 --> 00:25:12,166 You read fortunes now? 485 00:25:12,250 --> 00:25:14,333 I'm a librarian. I read all sorts of things. 486 00:25:14,416 --> 00:25:15,583 And what do my tea leaves say? 487 00:25:16,291 --> 00:25:18,791 That you're a brave man with a valid taxi driver's license 488 00:25:18,875 --> 00:25:20,708 and a book collection in the trunk. 489 00:25:20,791 --> 00:25:22,500 -Is that enough? -I think so. 490 00:25:22,583 --> 00:25:25,125 It says soon our enemies will be defeated. 491 00:25:25,208 --> 00:25:29,458 -And what then? Marriage? Children? -Only if we rescue them. 492 00:25:29,541 --> 00:25:33,000 And one night, if they're ready to join... What was the poem? 493 00:25:33,083 --> 00:25:35,833 The one that you memorized on your way to VFD headquarters? 494 00:25:38,791 --> 00:25:41,291 "When you drive away in secret, you'll be a volunteer..." 495 00:25:41,375 --> 00:25:42,875 "So don't scream when we take you..." 496 00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:45,416 [both] "The world is quiet here." 497 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:49,166 Poetry? You'll stop at nothing to make me talk. 498 00:25:49,250 --> 00:25:51,458 You take the gas station. I'll hit the church. 499 00:25:51,541 --> 00:25:52,750 Those kids will be so busy cleaning, 500 00:25:52,833 --> 00:25:55,458 they won't have time to foil the boss' plans. [chuckles] 501 00:25:55,541 --> 00:25:56,958 [bald man] What about the fountain? 502 00:25:59,250 --> 00:26:01,208 I think we've done enough. 503 00:26:02,208 --> 00:26:03,750 [crows cawing] 504 00:26:03,833 --> 00:26:06,333 [Violet] It's been a long time since anyone made us breakfast. 505 00:26:06,416 --> 00:26:07,458 Hector was right. 506 00:26:07,541 --> 00:26:10,458 Huevos rancheros taste delicious even in desperate circumstances. 507 00:26:10,541 --> 00:26:11,833 They don't make anything less desperate. 508 00:26:11,916 --> 00:26:13,541 We have no idea where to find the Quagmires. 509 00:26:13,625 --> 00:26:16,375 It was hard searching a penthouse. We have an entire village. 510 00:26:16,458 --> 00:26:17,416 We have to keep trying. 511 00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:19,291 It's not as if a clue will fall into our laps. 512 00:26:26,250 --> 00:26:27,625 What's this? 513 00:26:27,708 --> 00:26:29,625 -Poetry. -Not just poetry, couplets. 514 00:26:29,708 --> 00:26:30,708 Isadora? 515 00:26:30,791 --> 00:26:32,083 [Klaus] "For sapphires, we are held in here. 516 00:26:32,166 --> 00:26:33,333 Only you can end our fear." 517 00:26:33,416 --> 00:26:36,333 "Until dawn comes, we cannot speak. No words can come from this sad beak." 518 00:26:37,791 --> 00:26:39,666 You look shocked. What did I miss? 519 00:26:39,750 --> 00:26:41,375 A message from our friends. 520 00:26:41,458 --> 00:26:44,791 There might be more than crows in Nevermore Tree. Sunny, wait here. 521 00:26:49,625 --> 00:26:51,166 -Isadora! -Duncan! 522 00:26:51,333 --> 00:26:52,833 -Isadora! -Duncan! 523 00:26:53,750 --> 00:26:54,791 Quagmires. 524 00:26:56,708 --> 00:26:58,833 There are many expressions to describe someone 525 00:26:58,916 --> 00:27:00,833 who is going about something in the wrong way. 526 00:27:00,916 --> 00:27:02,458 "Making a mistake" is one way. 527 00:27:02,541 --> 00:27:05,375 "Screwing up" is another, although it is a bit rude. 528 00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:06,958 "Attempting to rescue Lemony Snicket 529 00:27:07,041 --> 00:27:10,416 by writing letters to a congressperson instead of digging an escape tunnel" 530 00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:12,666 is a third way, although it is a bit too specific. 531 00:27:12,750 --> 00:27:17,416 But there is one expression that describes the Baudelaires' situation perfectly, 532 00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:21,750 and as soon as the murder of crows embarked on their morning migration... 533 00:27:21,833 --> 00:27:23,333 [crows cawing] 534 00:27:27,666 --> 00:27:30,875 ...the Baudelaires saw that they were barking up the wrong tree. 535 00:27:31,375 --> 00:27:33,958 -There's nothing up there. -Nothing and nobody. 536 00:27:34,041 --> 00:27:36,708 It's the usual morning migration. What were you expecting? 537 00:27:36,791 --> 00:27:39,791 I wasn't expecting anything. Just hoping. 538 00:27:39,875 --> 00:27:41,000 Carrier pigeons. 539 00:27:41,083 --> 00:27:43,291 Carrier pigeons are birds that carry messages, 540 00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:45,208 based on their regular migration patterns. 541 00:27:45,291 --> 00:27:48,708 The Quagmires weren't up Nevermore Tree, but their messages were. 542 00:27:48,791 --> 00:27:50,333 Maybe they were sent by carrier crow. 543 00:27:50,416 --> 00:27:53,250 That's what Isadora meant by "No words can come from this sad beak." 544 00:27:53,333 --> 00:27:54,166 Crows can't talk. 545 00:27:54,250 --> 00:27:55,708 But maybe they can tell us where they're hidden. 546 00:27:55,791 --> 00:27:58,500 Every morning, the murder of crows flies into VFD to roost. 547 00:27:58,583 --> 00:28:01,375 We can find them. We just need an excuse to search the town. 548 00:28:01,458 --> 00:28:02,375 [thudding] 549 00:28:02,458 --> 00:28:04,708 Are you ready to do chores for the entire town? 550 00:28:06,833 --> 00:28:11,250 The Council of Elders is waiting for you. I, uh... [stutters] 551 00:28:11,333 --> 00:28:14,541 I'm going to trim the hedges and think about my mother. 552 00:28:14,625 --> 00:28:16,000 I'll see you at dinner. 553 00:28:17,166 --> 00:28:19,791 -[stutters] Okay. -[Annabelle] There you are, children. 554 00:28:19,875 --> 00:28:22,791 Someone has been making messes all over town. 555 00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:26,083 They TP'd our gas station, egged our church, 556 00:28:26,166 --> 00:28:28,958 and scared our poor donkey. Now he's in need of a bath. 557 00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:31,291 We have no idea who made these messes, 558 00:28:31,375 --> 00:28:34,833 although an eyewitness saw two white-faced women, a bald man, 559 00:28:34,916 --> 00:28:39,625 a man with hooks for hands, and a person of indeterminate gender near the scene. 560 00:28:39,708 --> 00:28:42,583 -But we know who's going to clean them. -You are. 561 00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:48,416 If we search for the Quagmires while we clean... 562 00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:49,750 Then doing chores is useful. 563 00:28:53,708 --> 00:28:57,541 All over the world, people tell themselves doing chores is useful, 564 00:28:57,625 --> 00:29:01,291 just as they tell themselves an apple is as delicious as a cookie 565 00:29:01,375 --> 00:29:04,333 or that television is an important cultural art form. 566 00:29:06,250 --> 00:29:09,750 But even though the Baudelaires busied themselves with many tedious chores, 567 00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:13,625 as the day wore on, they were no closer to finding their friends. 568 00:29:13,708 --> 00:29:15,250 We're no closer to finding our friends. 569 00:29:15,333 --> 00:29:17,333 Maybe we can narrow our search. 570 00:29:17,416 --> 00:29:19,708 Olaf must be keeping them someplace no one else would go. 571 00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:23,500 When you're done washing that donkey, go to the Firehouse Saloon. 572 00:29:23,583 --> 00:29:26,416 It's been closed for years because of rule number 18, 573 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:29,833 which prohibits the pouring and serving of sarsaparillas. 574 00:29:29,916 --> 00:29:33,416 No one ever goes inside. So it could use a good dusting. 575 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,416 We'll get right to it. 576 00:29:42,375 --> 00:29:44,083 -Duncan? -Isadora? 577 00:29:45,416 --> 00:29:46,833 There's a fire pole. 578 00:29:51,958 --> 00:29:53,000 Quagmires? 579 00:29:53,083 --> 00:29:54,166 [crow cawing] 580 00:29:55,416 --> 00:29:56,625 The red herring. 581 00:29:57,416 --> 00:29:59,208 -[Violet] Duncan! -[Klaus] Isadora! 582 00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:01,833 They're not answering. 583 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,125 Grab the fin and pull. 584 00:30:04,208 --> 00:30:06,833 -[both grunt] -It's empty. 585 00:30:06,916 --> 00:30:08,083 [babbles] 586 00:30:08,166 --> 00:30:09,833 There's something scratched here. 587 00:30:10,666 --> 00:30:12,041 "DQ plus VB"? 588 00:30:12,791 --> 00:30:14,208 Duncan must have been in here. 589 00:30:15,333 --> 00:30:17,250 Where are they? Why haven't we seen Olaf? 590 00:30:18,208 --> 00:30:19,666 [people yelling] 591 00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:24,708 -What's going on? -Count Olaf's just been captured. 592 00:30:24,791 --> 00:30:27,500 -What did he say? -He said, "Olaf's been captured." 593 00:30:27,583 --> 00:30:29,958 -What did you say? -She said, "Olaf has been captured." 594 00:30:30,041 --> 00:30:32,333 -What are you doing here? -I'm running with this crowd. 595 00:30:32,416 --> 00:30:33,500 Come quickly, Baudelaires. 596 00:30:33,583 --> 00:30:35,125 I just heard the news. 597 00:30:35,208 --> 00:30:37,708 Olaf, the notorious villain I first heard of yesterday, 598 00:30:37,791 --> 00:30:39,333 captured at last in that very saloon. 599 00:30:39,416 --> 00:30:40,666 Do you think it could be true? 600 00:30:40,750 --> 00:30:43,375 I hope so. The Council of Elders called a special meeting, 601 00:30:43,458 --> 00:30:44,916 which always makes me jumpy. 602 00:30:46,250 --> 00:30:47,458 Settle down, everyone. 603 00:30:47,541 --> 00:30:51,375 We'll answer all your questions, starting with the visiting banker. 604 00:30:51,458 --> 00:30:53,000 [chuckles softly] 605 00:30:53,083 --> 00:30:54,333 [clears throat and sighs] 606 00:30:54,416 --> 00:30:55,791 Council of Elders, 607 00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:59,041 I have arrived in town moments after arriving back in the city 608 00:30:59,125 --> 00:31:01,166 after dropping the Baudelaires off yesterday. 609 00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:03,458 When I heard Count Olaf had been captured, 610 00:31:03,541 --> 00:31:06,708 I said to myself it was my civic and financial duty 611 00:31:06,791 --> 00:31:08,708 to come here and see it with my own two ears. 612 00:31:08,791 --> 00:31:10,291 Can it be the truth? 613 00:31:10,375 --> 00:31:13,958 Is my long nightmare of dealing with the Baudelaires' long nightmare over? 614 00:31:14,041 --> 00:31:16,875 It is true. Olaf was hiding in the village in a disguise. 615 00:31:16,958 --> 00:31:21,333 Fortunately, a handsome stranger who claimed to be an investigative agent 616 00:31:21,416 --> 00:31:23,625 arrived yesterday and captured him. 617 00:31:23,708 --> 00:31:25,750 We've got him handcuffed outside. 618 00:31:25,833 --> 00:31:27,375 Olaf. Not the handsome stranger. 619 00:31:27,458 --> 00:31:31,125 -He certainly is a tall drink of water. -The handsome stranger, not Olaf. 620 00:31:31,208 --> 00:31:33,958 His female associate is quite capable, too. 621 00:31:34,041 --> 00:31:35,500 Will you tell him we're grateful? 622 00:31:35,583 --> 00:31:37,958 You can tell him yourself. He's right back there. 623 00:31:41,958 --> 00:31:47,333 Greetings, all you cool cats. I am the famous and... 624 00:31:47,416 --> 00:31:49,208 [scatting] 625 00:31:49,291 --> 00:31:52,375 ...cool, Detective Dupin. 626 00:31:54,791 --> 00:31:56,041 [playing softly] 627 00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,958 [rapping] ♪ I was on the scene If you know what I mean ♪ 628 00:32:01,041 --> 00:32:05,333 ♪ And I saw Count Olaf And nothing rhymes ♪ 629 00:32:05,416 --> 00:32:06,375 [scatting] 630 00:32:08,041 --> 00:32:11,500 ♪ And I grabbed this guy And made him fly ♪ 631 00:32:11,583 --> 00:32:12,625 ♪ Into jail ♪ 632 00:32:12,708 --> 00:32:14,458 ♪ And also ♪ 633 00:32:15,083 --> 00:32:17,666 [stutters] ♪ A rhyme is a hard thing to do ♪ 634 00:32:17,750 --> 00:32:18,833 [scatting] 635 00:32:18,916 --> 00:32:20,125 ♪ Yeah ♪ 636 00:32:20,625 --> 00:32:22,083 All right. 637 00:32:22,583 --> 00:32:25,125 I found that utterly convincing. 638 00:32:25,708 --> 00:32:27,125 That's Count Olaf. 639 00:32:27,791 --> 00:32:30,708 I think your prescription is fuzzy, my little four-eyed kitten. 640 00:32:30,791 --> 00:32:32,916 You orphans are confused. 641 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:36,375 That is the man who caught Count Olaf. 642 00:32:37,208 --> 00:32:39,791 -[gavel bangs] -Officer Luciana, bring in the prisoner. 643 00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:43,833 Yeah, yeah, baby. Let's get this hootenanny a-hootin'. 644 00:32:44,416 --> 00:32:46,750 -Move it, prisoner. -I prefer to go by "volunteer." 645 00:32:46,833 --> 00:32:50,666 I prefer to go by Donatella Violetta Cappuccino Milano. 646 00:32:50,750 --> 00:32:53,000 But you can call me Officer Luciana. 647 00:32:54,708 --> 00:32:57,000 -That's not Olaf. -No talking on the platform. 648 00:32:57,083 --> 00:32:58,250 We're not on the platform. 649 00:32:58,333 --> 00:33:00,000 Hector, control those orphans. 650 00:33:03,458 --> 00:33:06,916 [sighs] As a citizen of this village, we should be able to speak. 651 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,041 That man is not Count Olaf. That man is. 652 00:33:09,125 --> 00:33:12,791 [Sam] Why should we believe three children over our chief of police? 653 00:33:12,875 --> 00:33:16,958 -Because none of you have met Count Olaf. -That's true. I've never met Count Olaf. 654 00:33:17,041 --> 00:33:19,666 I read about him in the newspaper once. Does that count? 655 00:33:19,750 --> 00:33:22,666 Don't worry. I've been in worse scrapes than this. 656 00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:24,583 Silence. 657 00:33:24,666 --> 00:33:26,916 The children are right. None of us have met Olaf. 658 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,416 Maybe I can be of some assistance. 659 00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:33,708 I realize that my speaking on the platform would be breaking rule 902, 660 00:33:33,791 --> 00:33:36,083 to which I cite rule 732, 661 00:33:36,166 --> 00:33:38,333 in which a visiting banker is allowed to speak 662 00:33:38,416 --> 00:33:40,458 as long as he is acting in the role of a consultant. 663 00:33:40,541 --> 00:33:42,750 You are familiar with our rules? 664 00:33:42,833 --> 00:33:47,916 I have been told that I have a natural aptitude for bureaucracy. 665 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,666 The floor is yours, Mr. Poe. 666 00:33:51,708 --> 00:33:53,833 [clears throat] Ladies and gentlemen, 667 00:33:54,541 --> 00:33:57,041 as head banker of the Baudelaires' affairs, 668 00:33:57,125 --> 00:34:00,250 I had the opportunity, to meet Olaf on countless occasions. 669 00:34:00,333 --> 00:34:02,250 At least five or six times. 670 00:34:02,333 --> 00:34:04,000 Olaf has one big eyebrow. 671 00:34:04,625 --> 00:34:06,458 As you can see, this man also has one eyebrow. 672 00:34:06,541 --> 00:34:07,458 It's glued on. 673 00:34:07,541 --> 00:34:09,958 Why would he glue an eyebrow on? 674 00:34:10,041 --> 00:34:10,875 [Mr. Poe] Good point. 675 00:34:10,958 --> 00:34:13,625 Olaf also has the tattoo of an eye on his left ankle. 676 00:34:13,708 --> 00:34:15,166 The tattoo. He won't have a tattoo. 677 00:34:15,250 --> 00:34:17,291 Sir, in the name of the law, 678 00:34:17,375 --> 00:34:19,750 would you please expose your left ankle to the crowd? 679 00:34:19,833 --> 00:34:22,000 Little racy for a family show, but sure. 680 00:34:24,291 --> 00:34:25,208 [crowd gasps] 681 00:34:26,125 --> 00:34:27,041 [both gasp] 682 00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:28,583 [Mr. Poe] As you can see, 683 00:34:28,666 --> 00:34:31,958 this man has the single eyebrow and the ankle tattoo, 684 00:34:32,041 --> 00:34:35,833 and therefore is inarguably Olaf. 685 00:34:41,416 --> 00:34:43,541 Well said, banker man. 686 00:34:43,625 --> 00:34:47,083 Now that Count Olaf is verifiability verified, 687 00:34:47,166 --> 00:34:50,000 let's start groovin' on how we're gonna punish this bad cat. 688 00:34:50,083 --> 00:34:51,791 Who's got suggestions? 689 00:34:51,875 --> 00:34:54,291 No nuts on his ice cream sundaes. 690 00:34:54,375 --> 00:34:56,583 Psst. Baudelaires, my name is Jacques Snicket. 691 00:34:56,666 --> 00:34:59,666 My associate and I trailed the Quagmires here just like you did. 692 00:34:59,750 --> 00:35:01,791 Though, obviously, we've suffered some setbacks. 693 00:35:02,375 --> 00:35:05,750 VFD already has a strict system of punishment in place. 694 00:35:05,833 --> 00:35:09,166 In accordance with rule number two, which deals with rule-breakers, 695 00:35:09,250 --> 00:35:11,958 Count Olaf is to be marched into the center of town 696 00:35:12,041 --> 00:35:15,541 and issued a stiff but reasonable fine. 697 00:35:15,625 --> 00:35:17,458 That's the best you birds got? 698 00:35:17,541 --> 00:35:19,916 -How do you know us? -How did he capture you? 699 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:20,958 To answer, Violet, 700 00:35:21,041 --> 00:35:23,291 your family and mine have always been close. 701 00:35:23,375 --> 00:35:28,166 To answer your question, Klaus, Olaf and I have what you'd call a history. 702 00:35:28,250 --> 00:35:29,916 Why do you have the same tattoo of an eye? 703 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,583 It's not an eye. Look closer. 704 00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:35,041 It's three letters. 705 00:35:35,791 --> 00:35:36,833 "VFD." 706 00:35:36,916 --> 00:35:40,166 House arrest! And he has to wear one of those scratchy ankle things. 707 00:35:40,250 --> 00:35:43,541 You're getting warmer, fancy pants. Let's make it hot. 708 00:35:43,625 --> 00:35:46,041 Once I'm free and the Quagmires are safe, we'll take you-- 709 00:35:46,125 --> 00:35:48,291 I say we burn him at the stake. 710 00:35:48,375 --> 00:35:49,666 [band playing] 711 00:35:51,666 --> 00:35:54,083 -Oh, fantastic idea! -Tremendous! 712 00:35:54,166 --> 00:35:56,666 Ethically iffy but very exciting. 713 00:35:56,750 --> 00:35:59,666 Listen, I may need some help after all. 714 00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:02,500 -Ever break a man out of prison? -How hard can it be? 715 00:36:02,583 --> 00:36:03,625 -That's the spirit. -[gavel bangs] 716 00:36:04,166 --> 00:36:08,125 It's settled. Olaf will be burned at the stake tomorrow after breakfast. 717 00:36:08,208 --> 00:36:10,375 I recommend steel-cut oatmeal. 718 00:36:10,458 --> 00:36:11,958 Meeting adjourned. 719 00:36:12,041 --> 00:36:13,666 [scatting] 720 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,791 [sings] ♪ Yeah ♪ 721 00:36:17,875 --> 00:36:19,041 [all] Yeah. 722 00:36:19,791 --> 00:36:21,166 Andiamo, prisoner. 723 00:36:23,208 --> 00:36:24,375 Counting on you, volunteers. 724 00:36:27,166 --> 00:36:30,166 Baudelaires, I believe this is your responsibility. 725 00:36:36,083 --> 00:36:38,708 [Hector] Thanks for carrying me home. Now we can leave. 726 00:36:38,791 --> 00:36:41,875 The Council will burn Olaf at the stake, and he only broke one rule. 727 00:36:41,958 --> 00:36:44,041 Imagine what they'd do if they discovered this barn. 728 00:36:44,125 --> 00:36:45,541 We're not leaving, and that's not Olaf. 729 00:36:45,625 --> 00:36:47,875 The real Olaf is disguised as Detective Dupin. 730 00:36:47,958 --> 00:36:50,583 He's working with your chief of police, who's really Esmé Squalor, 731 00:36:50,666 --> 00:36:52,625 and they've framed the man looking for the Quagmires. 732 00:36:52,708 --> 00:36:53,666 You have to believe us. 733 00:36:53,750 --> 00:36:56,833 Of course I believe you. That's why we have to get of town. 734 00:36:56,916 --> 00:36:58,583 Things are scary and complicated. 735 00:36:58,666 --> 00:37:01,291 The Council of Elders will burn Jacques Snicket. 736 00:37:01,375 --> 00:37:02,500 Are you going to let that happen? 737 00:37:02,583 --> 00:37:05,333 Nobody likes the idea of an innocent man being burned alive. 738 00:37:05,416 --> 00:37:06,666 Well, hardly anyone. 739 00:37:06,750 --> 00:37:08,500 But if we don't escape now, we could be next. 740 00:37:08,583 --> 00:37:10,291 But, Hector, you can't leave. 741 00:37:10,375 --> 00:37:12,541 You said you didn't finish testing the engine. 742 00:37:12,625 --> 00:37:14,666 What if your engine conductivity is low? 743 00:37:14,750 --> 00:37:17,666 Low engine conductivity is a leading cause in aircraft failure. 744 00:37:18,291 --> 00:37:19,708 It has been making sputtery noises. 745 00:37:19,791 --> 00:37:22,500 See? You don't want to be in the air with a faulty engine. 746 00:37:22,583 --> 00:37:24,875 -That wouldn't be safe. -Or self-sustaining. 747 00:37:24,958 --> 00:37:27,583 Neither would being burned, but what choice do I have? 748 00:37:27,666 --> 00:37:31,333 -You could let my sister fix it. -If you to wait until we're ready. 749 00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:33,708 -You'd do that for me? -If you'd do that for us. 750 00:37:33,791 --> 00:37:36,166 -What if you can't fix it? -She can always fix it. 751 00:37:37,208 --> 00:37:38,458 [sighs] 752 00:37:42,125 --> 00:37:45,583 [grunts] Here's your problem. You need solid 12-gauge wires. 753 00:37:46,166 --> 00:37:47,666 These are stranded 14. 754 00:37:47,750 --> 00:37:50,541 I need wire cutters, banana plugs and a small oiling can. 755 00:37:54,750 --> 00:37:55,708 Will this work? 756 00:38:08,458 --> 00:38:09,708 [sputters] 757 00:38:09,791 --> 00:38:11,666 [sighs] I need your biggest wrench. 758 00:38:14,916 --> 00:38:16,416 [whirring] 759 00:38:23,041 --> 00:38:26,750 Now we need to help Jacques. I need full access to your inventing materials. 760 00:38:26,833 --> 00:38:28,500 I need blueprints of the uptown jail. 761 00:38:28,583 --> 00:38:32,375 Full access to my inventing materials and the blueprints of the uptown jail? 762 00:38:32,458 --> 00:38:34,541 What are you planning, a jailbreak? 763 00:38:36,250 --> 00:38:39,625 Oh, no. No, no, no. No. 764 00:38:43,416 --> 00:38:45,625 [as Olaf] I'd offer you tea, but they're sweet and fruity. 765 00:38:45,708 --> 00:38:49,083 Sweet and fruity doesn't count as tea, and your scheme is equally dismissible. 766 00:38:49,166 --> 00:38:51,250 Strong words for someone in a deluxe cell. 767 00:38:51,333 --> 00:38:53,250 What happened to handing me over to the police 768 00:38:53,333 --> 00:38:55,125 and sending me to jail for a long time? 769 00:38:55,208 --> 00:38:57,416 It never occurred to me that your girlfriend would be 770 00:38:57,500 --> 00:39:01,500 -as treacherous and violent as you. -You've never approved of my love life. 771 00:39:02,291 --> 00:39:04,708 I want what's best for those I respect and admire. 772 00:39:04,791 --> 00:39:06,500 That includes you, Olaf. 773 00:39:06,583 --> 00:39:08,583 You've got a keen mind and a flair for the dramatic. 774 00:39:08,666 --> 00:39:11,416 When that saloon across town was a firehouse, 775 00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,583 you and I put some noble deeds on the books. 776 00:39:14,458 --> 00:39:16,208 I'm tired of books, Snicket. 777 00:39:16,291 --> 00:39:19,791 The world is dark and horrible. You know what makes it brighter? 778 00:39:19,875 --> 00:39:20,791 Sapphires. 779 00:39:20,875 --> 00:39:23,458 -You're better than that. -You sound like Beatrice. 780 00:39:23,541 --> 00:39:26,500 She was right. If you reinvestigate your ethical priorities, 781 00:39:26,583 --> 00:39:29,583 you could help repair the world instead of filling it with smoke. 782 00:39:29,666 --> 00:39:34,708 Olaf, let's do some good work together. What do you say? 783 00:39:38,125 --> 00:39:39,250 What do I say? 784 00:39:40,958 --> 00:39:42,375 [scatting] 785 00:39:49,291 --> 00:39:52,458 Orphans. Nothing but trouble. Am I right? 786 00:39:52,541 --> 00:39:53,666 No, you're not. 787 00:39:53,750 --> 00:39:56,333 What did these droopy, desperate orphans ever do for you? 788 00:39:56,416 --> 00:39:57,500 Before you got mixed up with them, 789 00:39:57,583 --> 00:40:01,791 I'll bet you had some kind of a life, a future. Now look at you. 790 00:40:03,625 --> 00:40:05,750 -Is that a corset? -Yes. 791 00:40:05,833 --> 00:40:09,000 Look at me, a part of a noble and heroic organization, 792 00:40:09,083 --> 00:40:11,000 finally putting my innate physical dexterity 793 00:40:11,083 --> 00:40:12,708 and extensive training in library science 794 00:40:12,791 --> 00:40:14,500 to the purpose for which they were made. 795 00:40:15,375 --> 00:40:18,958 Do all you bookish volunteers spout nonsense when you're afraid? 796 00:40:19,041 --> 00:40:20,458 -I'm not afraid. -You should be. 797 00:40:20,541 --> 00:40:22,458 You think your boyfriend's going to rescue you? 798 00:40:22,541 --> 00:40:25,125 [chuckles] I think I'm going to rescue him. 799 00:40:25,208 --> 00:40:26,375 [snorts] 800 00:40:26,458 --> 00:40:29,833 [chuckles] Please. Your boyfriend's going to burn in the morning. 801 00:40:29,916 --> 00:40:31,833 I'm so sorry if I didn't make that clear. 802 00:40:31,916 --> 00:40:34,125 Not if you unlock this cell and let us go. 803 00:40:34,208 --> 00:40:36,875 -And why would I do that? -Because I'm a librarian. 804 00:40:36,958 --> 00:40:38,916 [gasps mockingly] Oh. 805 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,750 Don't you see? Librarians know where to find things. 806 00:40:44,708 --> 00:40:48,375 -What kind of things? -[clicks tongue] Missing things. 807 00:40:48,458 --> 00:40:50,666 -Stolen things? -That's right, Esmé. 808 00:40:51,666 --> 00:40:53,625 If you let Jacques and me go, 809 00:40:53,708 --> 00:40:56,875 I will give you the location of the sugar bowl. 810 00:40:59,041 --> 00:41:03,541 I thought having prisoners would be fun. But it's like having a pet or an in-law. 811 00:41:03,625 --> 00:41:05,750 You can lock them up, then you have to feed them. 812 00:41:05,833 --> 00:41:09,166 Darling. Forget the Snickets and the Baudelaires. 813 00:41:09,250 --> 00:41:10,500 You've been working so hard. 814 00:41:10,583 --> 00:41:15,375 Let's stay up here for a spell. I feel like dancing. 815 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,750 -You didn't feel like dancing last night. -I had a headache. 816 00:41:18,833 --> 00:41:20,875 Now, what are you in the mood for? 817 00:41:20,958 --> 00:41:25,791 The waltz? The watusi? The horizontal tango? 818 00:41:25,875 --> 00:41:31,125 Well, I have been working on my line dancing... 819 00:41:32,625 --> 00:41:35,875 [stutters] Line dancing? Line dancing. 820 00:41:36,250 --> 00:41:37,125 Oh. 821 00:41:37,708 --> 00:41:38,916 Show me more. 822 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,041 -All right. This hand goes here. -Hmm. 823 00:41:41,125 --> 00:41:42,541 This hand goes here. 824 00:41:46,041 --> 00:41:47,666 Where are the keys to the cells? 825 00:41:47,750 --> 00:41:49,375 [gasps] 826 00:41:54,625 --> 00:41:55,750 [grunts] 827 00:41:57,541 --> 00:41:59,291 What have you done? 828 00:41:59,375 --> 00:42:01,500 [Olivia] Sorry, it was the only thing I could think of. 829 00:42:01,583 --> 00:42:02,541 You did the right thing. 830 00:42:02,625 --> 00:42:04,416 Get to that sugar bowl before they do. 831 00:42:04,500 --> 00:42:06,250 You need to find our top field agent. 832 00:42:06,333 --> 00:42:09,416 She knows where it's hidden, and what to do with it. She knows all. 833 00:42:10,166 --> 00:42:12,875 She's more legitimate than she looks. Take my taxi. 834 00:42:12,958 --> 00:42:15,250 -What about you? -Someone needs to protect the children. 835 00:42:15,333 --> 00:42:17,875 Take care of the sugar bowl. We'll rendezvous as soon as we can. 836 00:42:17,958 --> 00:42:20,208 -Promise me you'll rescue the children. -I promise. 837 00:42:20,291 --> 00:42:22,666 -Promise me you'll take care of yourself. -Of course. 838 00:42:24,166 --> 00:42:25,750 Promise me we'll see each other again. 839 00:42:31,625 --> 00:42:32,833 This story isn't over yet. 840 00:42:47,708 --> 00:42:52,208 Actually, this story ends tonight. 841 00:42:52,833 --> 00:42:54,000 We'll see about that. 842 00:43:00,375 --> 00:43:02,208 Haven't we done this too many times? 843 00:43:03,083 --> 00:43:05,958 A hero, a villain, a dusty saloon... 844 00:43:06,041 --> 00:43:08,833 -There's always a few new twists. -[shatters] 845 00:43:12,333 --> 00:43:15,916 [Jacques] Aren't you tired of the schemes? The disguises? 846 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,625 The same routine again and again? 847 00:43:18,708 --> 00:43:21,625 It could end tonight if you come with me quietly. 848 00:43:22,333 --> 00:43:25,250 -[piano plays discordantly] -It's more fun to be loud. 849 00:43:25,625 --> 00:43:26,708 [grunting] 850 00:43:29,666 --> 00:43:31,666 -Bull's-eye. -No, it's a boar tusk. 851 00:43:31,750 --> 00:43:33,041 And don't try to flatter me. 852 00:43:33,125 --> 00:43:36,166 I've had it with you and your organization. 853 00:43:36,250 --> 00:43:37,750 You didn't always feel that way. 854 00:43:38,333 --> 00:43:40,666 You were one of us. You could be again. 855 00:43:41,708 --> 00:43:44,291 I know what happened that night at the opera, and I'm sorry. 856 00:43:46,416 --> 00:43:48,583 -Are you now? -I am now. 857 00:43:50,208 --> 00:43:54,333 Turn yourself in. I promise we won't throw the book at you, old friend. 858 00:43:55,541 --> 00:43:57,541 I can't promise the same. 859 00:43:57,625 --> 00:43:58,750 Meaning? 860 00:44:01,708 --> 00:44:04,458 I said, I can't promise... 861 00:44:07,583 --> 00:44:08,708 the same. 862 00:44:10,375 --> 00:44:11,375 [sighs] 863 00:44:11,458 --> 00:44:14,583 Those old people were right. Books are dangerous. 864 00:44:14,666 --> 00:44:16,083 The heavy ones at least. 865 00:44:16,166 --> 00:44:17,916 [both laugh] 866 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:22,500 Oh, lookee here. A crowbar in a crow bar. 867 00:44:25,625 --> 00:44:29,375 It was me or you, old friend. 868 00:44:35,916 --> 00:44:37,333 [cawing] 869 00:44:39,833 --> 00:44:42,958 [Lemony] There is a word to describe a large number of crows. 870 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:45,541 It is not a pleasant word. 871 00:44:46,625 --> 00:44:49,000 It is full of sorrow and sadness. 872 00:44:58,541 --> 00:45:00,958 A large number of crows is called a murder. 873 00:45:03,666 --> 00:45:06,625 It is a word that will forever make me think of that morning 874 00:45:06,708 --> 00:45:08,833 in the Village of Fowl Devotees. 875 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,333 [cawing] 876 00:45:11,416 --> 00:45:15,500 A morning so sad, I wish I could strike it from the Snicket calendar forever. 877 00:45:16,583 --> 00:45:19,916 According to the blueprints, the weakest spot of the wall should be here. 878 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,000 Good luck. 879 00:45:37,750 --> 00:45:40,291 -Count Olaf's been murdered! -What did you say? 880 00:45:40,375 --> 00:45:42,458 He said, "Count Olaf's been murdered!" 881 00:45:42,541 --> 00:45:44,625 [both] What did they say? 882 00:45:45,125 --> 00:45:46,833 They said, 883 00:45:46,916 --> 00:45:52,458 "Count Olaf has been murdered." 884 00:45:58,833 --> 00:46:00,208 [theme music playing]