1 00:00:06,125 --> 00:00:08,041 [theme song playing] 2 00:00:10,833 --> 00:00:13,708 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 3 00:00:14,333 --> 00:00:17,875 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 4 00:00:17,958 --> 00:00:21,750 ♪ This show will wreck your evening Your whole life and your day ♪ 5 00:00:21,833 --> 00:00:24,541 ♪ Every single episode Is nothing but dismay ♪ 6 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:30,250 ♪ So look away Look away, look away ♪ 7 00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:33,791 ♪ The Baudelaires are hiding In a carnival of freaks ♪ 8 00:00:33,875 --> 00:00:37,250 ♪ Count Olaf is the worst he's been For more than several weeks ♪ 9 00:00:37,333 --> 00:00:40,833 ♪ The lions in the Hinterlands Are hungry and quite fierce ♪ 10 00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:45,750 ♪ There is literally no program You can watch that's any, well, weirse ♪ 11 00:00:45,833 --> 00:00:49,708 ♪ Just look away, look away ♪ 12 00:00:49,791 --> 00:00:53,416 ♪ There's nothing but horror And inconvenience on the way ♪ 13 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:56,541 ♪ Ask any stable person "Should I watch?" And they will say ♪ 14 00:00:56,625 --> 00:01:01,333 ♪ Look away, look away, look away ♪ 15 00:01:01,416 --> 00:01:05,041 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 16 00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:08,500 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 17 00:01:08,583 --> 00:01:12,458 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 18 00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:20,750 Tents no longer stand at Caligari Carnival. 19 00:01:20,833 --> 00:01:23,250 Any researcher traveling the Hinterlands 20 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:27,041 wouldn't be able to tell there'd been a carnival here at all. 21 00:01:27,125 --> 00:01:30,125 All that remains is a poorly dug pit... 22 00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:33,916 a few burnt remains... 23 00:01:35,875 --> 00:01:37,041 [sighs] 24 00:01:43,916 --> 00:01:45,083 ...and ash. 25 00:01:49,291 --> 00:01:50,666 On nights like this, 26 00:01:50,750 --> 00:01:54,250 I think of the fearsome beasts lurking in the darkness, 27 00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:58,083 and I wonder which part of the beast is the most frightening. 28 00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:03,416 Some say the teeth or the claws or the hair, 29 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:04,833 if you are allergic. 30 00:02:06,708 --> 00:02:10,416 I believe that the most frightening part of any beast is its belly, 31 00:02:11,375 --> 00:02:14,458 because if you are seeing the belly, you have been devoured. 32 00:02:14,541 --> 00:02:17,041 And for that reason, the phrase "in the belly of the beast" 33 00:02:17,125 --> 00:02:20,125 means "in a terrible place with little chance of escape." 34 00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:23,250 My name is Lemony Snicket. Before this episode is over, 35 00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:25,833 "in the belly of the beast" will be used three times, 36 00:02:25,916 --> 00:02:27,791 not counting the times I've already used it. 37 00:02:27,875 --> 00:02:30,875 And for that reason, I would stop watching now, 38 00:02:30,958 --> 00:02:32,666 before this story gets so frightening 39 00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:36,166 that you feel as if you are in the belly of the beast. 40 00:02:38,583 --> 00:02:41,125 That time doesn't count either. 41 00:02:42,791 --> 00:02:45,375 We don't have long. Olaf will be here any minute, 42 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,666 and we are in the belly of the beast. 43 00:02:49,666 --> 00:02:51,125 [as Klaus] Why're you a fortune-teller? 44 00:02:51,208 --> 00:02:54,125 A fortune-teller is just a librarian with smoke and mirrors. 45 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,166 [both chuckle softly] 46 00:02:56,500 --> 00:03:00,750 I may have lost you at Prufrock Prep, but I never forgot you, or your friends. 47 00:03:01,458 --> 00:03:02,833 After the Quagmires were kidnapped, 48 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,625 I headed to the city to rescue them. 49 00:03:04,708 --> 00:03:06,958 That's where I met Jacques Snicket and joined VFD. 50 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:10,666 -The Volunteer Fire Department. -They were trying to save the Quagmires. 51 00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:13,083 We almost had them at the Village of the Fowl Devotees. 52 00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:14,208 But Olaf captured us. 53 00:03:14,291 --> 00:03:17,250 I made a deal with Esmé to get us out of jail. 54 00:03:17,333 --> 00:03:20,916 Jacques stayed behind. I went to find our bravest agent in the field. 55 00:03:21,708 --> 00:03:25,125 This carnival is a place that VFD gathers information. 56 00:03:25,208 --> 00:03:27,208 There is no real Madame Lulu. 57 00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:30,208 It's just an alias for whichever volunteer is stationed here. 58 00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:34,208 It's a rotating position. 59 00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:42,833 The previous Madame Lulu took my taxi to the hospital 60 00:03:42,916 --> 00:03:46,791 to retrieve a very important sugar bowl before Esmé could get her hands on it. 61 00:03:47,750 --> 00:03:49,208 But she hasn't come back. 62 00:03:49,875 --> 00:03:51,083 And Jacques... 63 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,125 well, he's not coming back, either. 64 00:03:57,041 --> 00:03:59,083 -He tried to help us. -He was very brave. 65 00:03:59,708 --> 00:04:01,375 The Quagmires are safe. We rescued them. 66 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:02,625 [chuckles in relief] 67 00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:04,250 I'm so glad to hear that. 68 00:04:05,875 --> 00:04:08,291 You truly are remarkable children. 69 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,291 But Olaf is here now and we're all in danger. 70 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:16,250 I've tried to stall him till the previous Madame Lulu returns. 71 00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:17,375 She'll know what to do. 72 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:21,208 But he's getting suspicious. I don't know how long I can fool him. 73 00:04:21,291 --> 00:04:23,125 You fooled us. It's a great disguise. 74 00:04:23,208 --> 00:04:25,541 So is yours. I almost didn't recognize you. 75 00:04:25,625 --> 00:04:27,000 How did you? 76 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:30,166 A certain gleam in the eye indicating a sharp acumen. 77 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:31,583 Volunteers have eyes like that. 78 00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:35,125 Madame Lulu... 79 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,916 -Olivia. -Olivia. 80 00:04:37,541 --> 00:04:41,000 We found a message saying one of our parents survived. 81 00:04:41,083 --> 00:04:42,375 You told Olaf it was true. 82 00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:46,416 I'm sorry. I only said that to keep him here. 83 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,500 But if Jacques believed that there was a survivor, 84 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:54,791 then it must be true. His research is never wrong. 85 00:05:00,958 --> 00:05:02,166 I've been doing some reading. 86 00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:03,750 The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations. 87 00:05:03,833 --> 00:05:04,666 You found it. 88 00:05:06,541 --> 00:05:09,791 VFD has a secret headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains. 89 00:05:09,875 --> 00:05:13,583 If one of your parents really is alive, this is where they'd be. 90 00:05:13,666 --> 00:05:15,916 -We have to go there. -I'm going to take you. 91 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,333 Jacques told me headquarters is on this map, 92 00:05:21,416 --> 00:05:24,166 -but it doesn't seem to be marked. -May I see it? 93 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,541 Markings on maps are like codes. 94 00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:30,458 This blue line is a stream. These green houses are campgrounds. 95 00:05:30,541 --> 00:05:32,291 Look, the Valley of the Four Drafts. VFD. 96 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,916 But there's no markings in the valley. 97 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,791 Just a stain where Jacques must have accidentally spilled coffee. 98 00:05:36,875 --> 00:05:41,250 Maybe it wasn't an accident. Headquarters might have a secret way of marking it. 99 00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:43,041 I think the stain is the headquarters. 100 00:05:44,291 --> 00:05:45,291 [babbles] 101 00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:47,166 We have to get there. 102 00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:49,916 We're stranded till the previous Madame Lulu gets back. 103 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,458 Do the roller coaster carts have engines? 104 00:05:51,541 --> 00:05:54,291 They do, but they don't run. The radiator keeps overheating. 105 00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:55,833 That sounds like a fan belt problem. 106 00:05:55,916 --> 00:05:58,750 You need to transmit torque from the engine to cool the radiator. 107 00:05:58,833 --> 00:06:01,375 I can get it running, but it may take all night. 108 00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:03,250 Then we'll leave first thing tomorrow. 109 00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:06,666 I'll pack my library and food for the journey. 110 00:06:06,750 --> 00:06:08,625 I can keep Olaf distracted until then. 111 00:06:08,708 --> 00:06:10,041 I've wanted to help you 112 00:06:10,125 --> 00:06:11,958 since the moment you set foot in my library. 113 00:06:12,583 --> 00:06:16,041 We've all lost people we love, but we've found each other. 114 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:20,625 And I promise, if one of your parents really is alive, we'll find them, too. 115 00:06:21,208 --> 00:06:24,083 But now we must hurry before Count Olaf gets back. 116 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,208 There's something I don't understand. 117 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:29,083 Our parents were in VFD, but so was Olaf. 118 00:06:29,166 --> 00:06:32,333 So is VFD a noble organization or a wicked one? 119 00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:35,958 Jacques said there was a time when VFD was noble. 120 00:06:36,041 --> 00:06:39,375 They were dedicated to putting out fires, literal and figurative. 121 00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:41,250 There was a schism. You know what that means? 122 00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:43,708 A division between members of the same organization. 123 00:06:43,791 --> 00:06:46,625 One side decided it was better to start fires. 124 00:06:46,708 --> 00:06:49,208 One night at the opera, a sugar bowl-- 125 00:06:49,291 --> 00:06:52,250 [Olaf] Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for an interruption! 126 00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:53,416 [babbles] 127 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,458 Quickly. 128 00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:58,708 If you're in a tent, if you're in a caravan, 129 00:06:58,791 --> 00:07:02,958 if you're in the men's room, wash your hands and come on out! 130 00:07:03,041 --> 00:07:05,750 [indistinct chatter] 131 00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:07,333 Right this way, folks. 132 00:07:07,416 --> 00:07:09,083 [breathing heavily] How do we look? 133 00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:10,875 [sighs] Your ribbon. 134 00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,041 Okay. 135 00:07:17,291 --> 00:07:21,750 Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, freaks and normal people, 136 00:07:22,416 --> 00:07:23,833 I am pleased to announce 137 00:07:23,916 --> 00:07:27,083 a brand-new attraction at Caligari Carnival. 138 00:07:27,166 --> 00:07:29,583 That is good news, because this popcorn is stale. 139 00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:30,791 [Olaf] It is good news. 140 00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:33,541 This show is about to get a lot more entertaining, 141 00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:35,000 not just because I'm back in it. 142 00:07:35,583 --> 00:07:41,166 Who here is familiar with the ancient art of sorcer-enary? 143 00:07:41,833 --> 00:07:45,541 Wait. Of sorcer-generarry? 144 00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:46,458 It means magic. 145 00:07:46,541 --> 00:07:51,000 Oh! Sorcery! [chuckles] You're trying to say sorcery. 146 00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:53,541 Yes! Sorcery. 147 00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:55,083 How right you are. 148 00:07:55,166 --> 00:08:00,000 I'm surprised that you could hear, girlie, with something being in your ear. 149 00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:01,250 What? 150 00:08:02,208 --> 00:08:03,500 Oh! Behold! 151 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:04,666 -Astounding! -Incredible! 152 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,708 That's not that impressive. Maybe if it was doves. 153 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:08,958 Really? 154 00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,041 Well, then how about this? 155 00:08:12,958 --> 00:08:15,375 A scarf. Two scarves, three scarves-- 156 00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:17,041 Darling, you're scaring him. 157 00:08:17,125 --> 00:08:18,000 All right. 158 00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:20,791 One more. There's your dove. It's dead, thanks. 159 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,625 That's a little impressive. 160 00:08:22,708 --> 00:08:25,083 You know what's a lot impressive? 161 00:08:26,791 --> 00:08:30,708 More impressive than 17 scarves and a dead dove? 162 00:08:30,791 --> 00:08:31,750 Behold! 163 00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:34,125 [all gasp] 164 00:08:34,208 --> 00:08:37,541 A pit of starving lions! 165 00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:39,750 [roaring] 166 00:08:40,958 --> 00:08:43,958 [all gasp and shudder] 167 00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:51,458 Ladies and gentlemen, I have a very special surprise for you. 168 00:08:51,541 --> 00:08:54,958 Lions are carnivorous, which means they eat meat. 169 00:08:55,041 --> 00:08:57,000 -That's not a surprise. -Everybody knows that. 170 00:08:57,083 --> 00:08:59,750 But these lions have not been given any meat. 171 00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:03,166 Not a single drop of food. They're starving. 172 00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:05,333 -That seems cruel. -And not much of a show. 173 00:09:05,416 --> 00:09:07,208 Come back tomorrow, Mr. Heckler-man, 174 00:09:07,291 --> 00:09:12,250 when we will randomly select one freak from the House of Freaks 175 00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:16,416 and we will watch as the lions devour them. 176 00:09:19,583 --> 00:09:20,666 [roars] 177 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,166 You can tell a lot about a person 178 00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:26,250 from their reaction to the news that someone will be eaten by lions. 179 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,583 Most wicked people would be thrilled 180 00:09:28,666 --> 00:09:31,333 while most normal people would be horrified. 181 00:09:31,416 --> 00:09:34,166 A person might be unable to disguise her glee, 182 00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:37,125 while another person might have to pretend to be gleeful, 183 00:09:37,791 --> 00:09:39,833 if she is in disguise. 184 00:09:40,958 --> 00:09:45,875 Finally, some people might be horrified, but still manage to spot something useful. 185 00:09:45,958 --> 00:09:49,708 Something long and starchy, designed to enhance certain sauces, 186 00:09:49,791 --> 00:09:54,375 but to the trained eye, shaped a little like a solution. 187 00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:58,250 [Klaus whispering] I saw your face at the pit. 188 00:09:58,333 --> 00:10:01,000 -You've got a solution. -[whispering] The tagliatelle grande. 189 00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:03,041 You mean the giant noodle Olaf uses as a whip? 190 00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:05,833 I'll use it as a fan belt to repair the engine. 191 00:10:05,916 --> 00:10:08,708 -We can fix it when everybody's sleeping. -[Kevin] Dinner's ready. 192 00:10:08,791 --> 00:10:11,833 Enjoy. It could be the last tom kha gai you ever eat. 193 00:10:11,916 --> 00:10:14,291 -Tom kha who? -[as Elliot] Soup common to Thailand, 194 00:10:14,375 --> 00:10:17,291 made from chicken, vegetables, mushrooms, ginger, 195 00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:19,291 coconut milk and water chestnut. 196 00:10:19,375 --> 00:10:21,125 [Kevin] Chabo grated ginger with her teeth. 197 00:10:21,208 --> 00:10:23,916 For a feral monster, helpful in the kitchen. 198 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,541 If she wasn't a freak, she could be an excellent chef. 199 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:28,541 [as Beverly] She's gonna be an excellent chef. 200 00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:30,208 Not if she's eaten by lions. 201 00:10:30,291 --> 00:10:32,583 I am not crazy about this devouring plan. 202 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:36,333 But the visitors to the carnival were excited, so it's good for business. 203 00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:37,916 Everybody loves violence. 204 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,958 Especially when combined with sloppy eating. 205 00:10:40,041 --> 00:10:40,958 [slurps] 206 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:41,875 That's not a dilemma. 207 00:10:41,958 --> 00:10:43,958 None of you should jump to your death to entertain. 208 00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:46,791 There are better things to do than get eaten. 209 00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:51,041 -Like what? -Like, literally, anything. [sighs] 210 00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:53,083 Y'all never know when an opportunity will knock. 211 00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:54,583 -[knocking at door] -[Esmé] Open up. 212 00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:59,708 -Hurry up. I want to talk to you. -[Hugo] I'm hurry upping, Ms. Squalor. 213 00:10:59,791 --> 00:11:00,791 Let's be on our best behavior. 214 00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:02,958 It's not often a normal person wants to talk to us. 215 00:11:03,041 --> 00:11:05,833 We'll be good. I won't bend into a single strange position. 216 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,833 I'll only use my left hand. No, wait. My right... My left. 217 00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:16,958 I am Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor, 218 00:11:17,041 --> 00:11:20,708 and as you can see from my gown, I love freaks. 219 00:11:21,458 --> 00:11:24,000 -That's so nice of you. -Yes, it is. 220 00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,666 I had this gown made to show how much I love them. 221 00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,416 See this stuffed animal, 222 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:29,833 like a hunchback, 223 00:11:29,916 --> 00:11:33,375 and this creepy little face is like I have two heads. 224 00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:35,125 You look very freakish. 225 00:11:35,208 --> 00:11:37,291 I'm not really a freak. I'm a normal person. 226 00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:40,125 But I wanted to show you all how much I admire you. 227 00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:44,333 I admire you so much, I consider you more than employees at a carnival. 228 00:11:44,416 --> 00:11:46,666 I consider you to be some of my closest friends. 229 00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:49,375 Oh, Esmé, do you really mean it? 230 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,458 Of course I mean it. 231 00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:53,791 I'd rather be with you than with the finest people. 232 00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:56,208 Wow. I've never had a normal person call me a friend. 233 00:11:56,291 --> 00:12:00,291 Well, that's what you are. You're all my freaky friends. 234 00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:04,416 And it makes me terribly sad that one of you will be eaten by lions. 235 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,458 I have real tears in my eyes thinking about it. 236 00:12:06,541 --> 00:12:09,333 [sighs] Close friend, don't be sad. 237 00:12:09,416 --> 00:12:10,375 I can't help it. 238 00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:15,458 But I have an opportunity for you all that might make us all very, very happy. 239 00:12:15,541 --> 00:12:19,208 We were just saying that an opportunity could come any minute. 240 00:12:19,291 --> 00:12:22,375 Well, that's completely true. 241 00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:25,000 Gather around the fire. I'll tell you about it. 242 00:12:26,791 --> 00:12:29,916 Now that we split these logs and started this fire like you asked, 243 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,583 what's this opportunity? 244 00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:35,875 I am offering you the chance to quit your jobs at the House of Freaks, 245 00:12:35,958 --> 00:12:38,958 and join Count Olaf and myself in his troupe. [gasps in delight] 246 00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:42,416 Do you think a normal man like him wants to work with freaks like us? 247 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,750 Of course he would. 248 00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:46,666 Count Olaf doesn't care whether you're hideously freakish or normal, 249 00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:48,916 as long as you obey his every whim beyond all reason. 250 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,625 Wow! What an opportunity! 251 00:12:51,708 --> 00:12:53,000 I had a hunch you'd be excited. 252 00:12:53,083 --> 00:12:54,750 -No offense. -None taken. 253 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:59,625 If you're interested, all you have to do is one simple task. 254 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,208 Commit a murder. 255 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,916 -Okay, sounds good. -Did you just say-- 256 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:08,916 During the lion show, 257 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,958 Olaf will choose one freak to jump into the pit. 258 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:15,583 But I want whomever is chosen to throw Madame Lulu in instead. 259 00:13:15,666 --> 00:13:17,750 [stutters] You want us to murder Madame Lulu? 260 00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:19,208 Think of it as a dramatic exercise 261 00:13:19,291 --> 00:13:22,791 to show Count Olaf you're brave enough to join his troupe. 262 00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:26,333 Throwing Madame Lulu into a pit of lions doesn't strike me as brave. 263 00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:27,791 Just vicious and cruel. 264 00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:32,291 How can it be vicious and cruel to give people what they want? 265 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,291 You want to join Count Olaf's troupe. 266 00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:38,041 The crowd wants to see someone eaten by lions. 267 00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:39,875 I want Lulu thrown into the pit. 268 00:13:39,958 --> 00:13:41,708 It doesn't sound so bad. 269 00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:45,208 Tomorrow, one of you will have the exciting opportunity 270 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,416 to give everybody what they want! 271 00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:49,833 Why do you want Lulu thrown to the lions? 272 00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:52,750 Oh, you'll understand when you're older. Hmm. 273 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,083 Maybe not you. 274 00:13:56,125 --> 00:13:57,333 Is something wrong? 275 00:13:57,416 --> 00:13:59,166 I just offered you a job, which was generous. 276 00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:01,833 It is very generous, Ms. Squalor. 277 00:14:01,916 --> 00:14:04,875 I just don't feel comfortable throwing Lulu to the lions. 278 00:14:04,958 --> 00:14:06,291 I agree. 279 00:14:06,375 --> 00:14:07,375 [growls] 280 00:14:07,458 --> 00:14:09,625 -Chabo, too. -I bet Chabo only half agrees. 281 00:14:09,708 --> 00:14:12,541 I bet her wolf half can't wait to see Lulu get eaten. 282 00:14:12,625 --> 00:14:14,291 -I'm excited. -Me, too. 283 00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,125 I really want to join Olaf. 284 00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:19,500 Maybe you can convince your two-headed coworkers. 285 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,166 Consider this. 286 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:24,000 Maybe Lulu doesn't deserve to get thrown to the lions. 287 00:14:24,083 --> 00:14:26,791 People don't always get what they deserve. 288 00:14:26,875 --> 00:14:29,375 And who knows that better than the two of you? 289 00:14:32,791 --> 00:14:35,291 After all, you're freaks. 290 00:14:37,083 --> 00:14:38,583 I'll let you sleep on it. 291 00:14:42,166 --> 00:14:43,458 [as Violet] Nice work, Sunny. 292 00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:48,000 [Lemony] The curious thing about being told to sleep on it, 293 00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:50,125 is that you usually can't. 294 00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,875 "Sleep on it" is a phrase which here means 295 00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:57,000 "to go to bed thinking about something in the hopes of reaching a conclusion." 296 00:14:57,083 --> 00:15:00,791 It's much easier to sleep when you've made up your mind. 297 00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:11,250 [Violet] It's run-down. This won't be easy. 298 00:15:12,458 --> 00:15:14,041 -[as Klaus] What? -The ribbon Sunny made 299 00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:16,291 out of the hospital bracelet, I can't find it. 300 00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:17,625 [Klaus] Uh... 301 00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:20,416 Will this work? 302 00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:23,750 [Lemony] Violet was troubled about the roller coaster, 303 00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:26,750 and whether she could repair it with nothing but a tagliatelle grande 304 00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:28,083 and the cover of night. 305 00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:31,250 [breathing heavily] 306 00:15:32,958 --> 00:15:34,458 Sunny, untangle the ivy. 307 00:15:35,625 --> 00:15:37,916 Get me pliers and a half-inch wrench. 308 00:15:38,583 --> 00:15:39,791 I'm gonna take a look. 309 00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:42,375 [Lemony] Klaus was troubled about Madame Lulu's map, 310 00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:45,125 and whether the course he charted was the best way. 311 00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:47,375 And Sunny was troubled about the long drive ahead 312 00:15:47,458 --> 00:15:50,166 and whether Olivia would pack enough food for the journey. 313 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,958 [lions roaring in distance] 314 00:15:52,041 --> 00:15:55,875 -The lions aren't sleeping. -They don't sound ferocious, just sad. 315 00:15:55,958 --> 00:15:57,000 [babbles] 316 00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,583 I feel sorry for them. 317 00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:01,541 They don't deserve to be starved. 318 00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:02,708 [Violet] Esmé was right. 319 00:16:02,791 --> 00:16:05,416 People don't always get what they deserve. Neither do lions. 320 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,583 [Klaus] I can't understand 321 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:10,000 why Hugo, Colette and Kevin would join people that do wicked things. 322 00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:13,291 Maybe they're happy someone's treating them like normal people. 323 00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:16,416 Maybe that's why Count Olaf's troupe works for him. 324 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,500 They don't think they have anywhere else to go. 325 00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,875 Then we're lucky. We know where we're going. 326 00:16:21,958 --> 00:16:23,083 [exhales deeply] 327 00:16:27,125 --> 00:16:30,916 [Lemony] The Baudelaires were troubled about the mountain headquarters 328 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,791 and whether one of their parents was alive and waiting for them. 329 00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:36,166 Think you can shorten this noodle? 330 00:16:37,125 --> 00:16:38,958 But they should have been troubled about Olaf, 331 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,541 who, at that moment, was sleepless himself. 332 00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:47,583 Hmm. Listen to them. That hunger. That insatiable desire. 333 00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:49,166 [as Lulu] Those poor creatures. 334 00:16:50,208 --> 00:16:51,833 They'll have someone to eat soon. 335 00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:56,791 Let's talk about what I want. The location of the surviving Baudelaire parent. 336 00:16:56,875 --> 00:16:58,833 You said you would give me the answers tomorrow. 337 00:16:58,916 --> 00:17:00,750 It's after midnight. That makes it tomorrow. 338 00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:03,375 Come back in the morning, my Olaf. 339 00:17:03,458 --> 00:17:05,458 Spirits, they talk when they talk. [chuckles] 340 00:17:05,541 --> 00:17:06,500 They'd better. 341 00:17:06,583 --> 00:17:11,875 I'm a patient man, Lulu, but patience is like a grating foreign accent. 342 00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:14,208 It can wear thin. 343 00:17:15,041 --> 00:17:18,958 Wait. Wait. Spirits, they are sending me vision. 344 00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:23,875 Yes. It's a terrible thing you did to a noble man. 345 00:17:23,958 --> 00:17:26,708 And now, I am getting a name. 346 00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:30,875 Jacques Snicket. 347 00:17:32,708 --> 00:17:35,083 Jacques Snicket got in my way. 348 00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:38,583 Ask the spirits how that turned out. 349 00:17:43,416 --> 00:17:44,250 What happened? 350 00:17:44,333 --> 00:17:48,750 A crystal ball has accident. [chuckles] Good thing Madame Lulu buy in bulk, huh? 351 00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:54,375 You wouldn't have had any guests from the Heimlich Hospital, would you? 352 00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:55,875 No. No. 353 00:17:55,958 --> 00:18:00,291 Handsome Olaf is Madame Lulu's first visitor in long time. 354 00:18:00,375 --> 00:18:02,125 Really? 355 00:18:05,666 --> 00:18:07,750 Then how did this get here? 356 00:18:08,625 --> 00:18:13,458 Spirits work in mystical ways. 357 00:18:13,541 --> 00:18:17,041 Also, Madame Lulu recently have checkup. 358 00:18:17,833 --> 00:18:19,916 Regular health care is important. 359 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,375 Hmm. I'll see you tomorrow, my Olaf. 360 00:18:22,458 --> 00:18:23,708 [chuckles softly] 361 00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:25,208 [lions roaring in distance] 362 00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:27,166 You certainly will. 363 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:32,916 [bell dings] 364 00:18:40,333 --> 00:18:41,333 [bell dings] 365 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,458 [babbles] 366 00:18:57,541 --> 00:18:58,958 -Well done. -Thank you. 367 00:18:59,041 --> 00:19:01,541 The engine should be able to get us to the mountains. 368 00:19:01,625 --> 00:19:03,791 Will it hold the weight of Lulu's archival library? 369 00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:05,375 Let's test it. 370 00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:14,708 Riding a roller coaster is the sort of activity normal children do. 371 00:19:16,666 --> 00:19:17,500 Here we go. 372 00:19:41,708 --> 00:19:47,250 [Lemony] There are few truly happy moments in the lives of the Baudelaire children. 373 00:19:50,625 --> 00:19:53,833 [engine sputters, stops] 374 00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:55,333 [engine whines] 375 00:19:55,416 --> 00:19:57,125 This is not one of them. 376 00:19:58,625 --> 00:19:59,541 But it's close. 377 00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:02,041 [Jacques] When meeting a volunteer, 378 00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:05,125 you may determine their allegiance with the use of a code phrase. 379 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,583 "The world is quiet here." 380 00:20:07,666 --> 00:20:10,791 This may sound curious, like the motto of a secret organization, 381 00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:13,500 or something a stranger might say when he picks you up in his taxi 382 00:20:13,583 --> 00:20:16,000 and invites you to use your talents to benefit the world. 383 00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:17,791 There'll be losses along the way. 384 00:20:18,125 --> 00:20:20,041 We may never triumph, not completely. 385 00:20:20,666 --> 00:20:24,625 We may be defeated, at least for a time. But we will never disappear. 386 00:20:24,708 --> 00:20:28,041 Not so long as there are noble, well-read people... 387 00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:30,916 -[as Olivia] To take up the torch. -...to take up the torch. 388 00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:46,458 Going somewhere? 389 00:20:46,541 --> 00:20:49,750 [as Lulu] Oh, there you are, my Olaf. You are so early. 390 00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:52,166 Spirits still sleeping, like lazy goat. 391 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:57,458 Go get breakfast wine spritzer with Esmé, and come back in, say, an hour. Yes. 392 00:20:57,541 --> 00:21:00,708 Spirits will be ready for big fortune-telling show. 393 00:21:00,791 --> 00:21:03,041 I won't need a fortune-telling show this morning. 394 00:21:03,125 --> 00:21:04,291 -You don't? -No. 395 00:21:04,375 --> 00:21:06,458 Things are different. Plans have changed. 396 00:21:06,875 --> 00:21:11,375 I've got my own show now. And look, the early crowd arrives. 397 00:21:11,458 --> 00:21:14,000 Right this way to the lion pit, folks! 398 00:21:14,083 --> 00:21:15,416 -[indistinct chatter] -You, too. 399 00:21:18,666 --> 00:21:22,750 Step this way for violence and sloppy eating! 400 00:21:22,833 --> 00:21:24,833 Has anyone seen the boss's giant noodle? 401 00:21:25,375 --> 00:21:27,666 [carnival music playing on organ] 402 00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,041 [lions roaring] 403 00:21:34,125 --> 00:21:36,125 Look, Mrs. Bass. Freaks! 404 00:21:36,208 --> 00:21:39,291 Don't say my name out loud. I'm on the lam. 405 00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:41,416 Sorry, I'm just very excited. 406 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:43,666 "One of these freaks will be eaten!" 407 00:21:43,750 --> 00:21:45,125 I sure hope so. 408 00:21:45,208 --> 00:21:47,208 I haven't had any fun since I robbed that bank. 409 00:21:47,291 --> 00:21:49,916 Oh, I'm starving for entertainment. 410 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,083 I hear the lions are starving, too. 411 00:21:52,166 --> 00:21:54,125 What was that about a bank? 412 00:22:04,041 --> 00:22:05,250 [grunts] 413 00:22:05,333 --> 00:22:07,291 Ladies and gentlemen, 414 00:22:07,833 --> 00:22:11,625 this may be the most exciting day of your entire lives. 415 00:22:11,708 --> 00:22:14,708 Welcome, welcome, welcome... 416 00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:18,958 to the Caligari Carnival's Big Top Finale! 417 00:22:21,791 --> 00:22:22,875 Thank you. 418 00:22:25,541 --> 00:22:28,208 I am your ringmaster, Count Olaf, 419 00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:32,166 but a different Count Olaf than the one you've read about in the papers, 420 00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,666 who is dead. 421 00:22:33,750 --> 00:22:37,041 Incredible! Who knew there were so many counts with one eyebrow named Olaf? 422 00:22:37,125 --> 00:22:40,250 We're both very handsome. But enough about me. 423 00:22:40,333 --> 00:22:47,125 Ladies and gentlemen, inside this pit are two starving lions. 424 00:22:47,208 --> 00:22:49,291 [growling] 425 00:22:49,375 --> 00:22:55,916 And standing beside said pit are five delicious freaks! 426 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:56,958 [cheering] 427 00:22:57,041 --> 00:22:59,291 I'm glad this is my last day in these clothes. 428 00:22:59,375 --> 00:23:01,708 Soon I'll be part of Olaf's troupe. 429 00:23:01,791 --> 00:23:03,583 [as Elliot] Are you really gonna push Lulu? 430 00:23:03,666 --> 00:23:06,375 I'll do anything if it means never having to look like a freak again. 431 00:23:06,458 --> 00:23:09,666 Look closely at all these freaks. 432 00:23:09,750 --> 00:23:12,916 Observe Hugo's hideous hump. 433 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,583 Cackle at Colette's cockamamie contortions. 434 00:23:16,666 --> 00:23:21,250 Giggle at the absurdity of Kevin's ambidextrous arms. 435 00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:25,750 Snicker at Beverly and Elliot, the two-headed freak. 436 00:23:26,333 --> 00:23:32,708 Laugh so hard you can hardly breathe at Chabo the Wolf Baby. 437 00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:35,125 -I hope it's the man with sores! -Or the woman with money! 438 00:23:35,208 --> 00:23:36,833 [laughing] 439 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:39,041 I am not a freak. I'm a member of the audience. 440 00:23:39,125 --> 00:23:41,208 I have a dermatological condition. 441 00:23:41,291 --> 00:23:44,125 And this isn't money. Uh, these are algebra quizzes. 442 00:23:44,208 --> 00:23:46,708 I don't care who it is. I just hope this circus has clowns. 443 00:23:46,791 --> 00:23:48,041 I like the sad ones. 444 00:23:49,833 --> 00:23:54,750 Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the choosing ceremony to commence. 445 00:23:55,375 --> 00:23:57,458 The names of each and every freak 446 00:23:57,541 --> 00:24:00,666 have been written down on small pieces of paper, 447 00:24:00,750 --> 00:24:05,916 folded up, and placed inside the box that this lovely young lady is holding. 448 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,666 I don't think she's lovely. 449 00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:09,916 [as Olivia] Play along. We'll think of something. 450 00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:12,166 [Olaf] Ladies and gentlemen, 451 00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:19,208 I will reach inside the box, pull out one piece of paper, 452 00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:24,250 unfold it, and read the name of the freak out loud. 453 00:24:24,333 --> 00:24:29,333 Then that freak will then walk down this wooden plankway, 454 00:24:29,958 --> 00:24:34,958 jump into the pit, and we'll all watch as the lions eat him. 455 00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:37,208 -[audience cheers] -Or her. 456 00:24:38,125 --> 00:24:40,375 Or her. [groans softly] 457 00:24:40,458 --> 00:24:43,416 Before we begin, does anyone have any questions? 458 00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:45,583 Why do you get to pick the name? 459 00:24:45,666 --> 00:24:46,958 It was my idea. 460 00:24:47,041 --> 00:24:48,916 Is this legal? 461 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,708 What... Don't spoil the fun, boy. 462 00:24:51,791 --> 00:24:54,916 If you're going to ask questions, you might as well wait in my car. 463 00:24:55,958 --> 00:25:01,583 Ladies and da-da-da, I am now reaching my hand inside the box. 464 00:25:03,916 --> 00:25:07,375 I am pulling out one piece of paper, 465 00:25:07,458 --> 00:25:13,125 which I will unfold very slowly, to increase the suspense. 466 00:25:13,791 --> 00:25:16,500 A grown man, unfolding paper. Amazing. 467 00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:20,500 I learned how to amaze crowds by working in regional theater. 468 00:25:22,750 --> 00:25:25,625 Ladies and gentlemen, 469 00:25:25,708 --> 00:25:29,500 I am now unfolding the first fold in the piece of paper. 470 00:25:29,583 --> 00:25:31,000 [audience gasps] 471 00:25:31,083 --> 00:25:33,083 I feel morally queasy. 472 00:25:34,375 --> 00:25:37,041 It could be from eating this hot dog I found on the ground. 473 00:25:37,125 --> 00:25:41,666 I have just unfolded the second fold in the piece of paper! 474 00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:46,500 There are only five... four more folds left. 475 00:25:46,583 --> 00:25:47,666 Is this gonna be scary? 476 00:25:47,750 --> 00:25:50,875 Don't worry, Trixie. This was advertised as family entertainment. 477 00:25:50,958 --> 00:25:54,000 I'm sure whoever is eaten by lions deserves it. 478 00:25:54,083 --> 00:25:55,791 [as Klaus] No one deserves to get eaten. 479 00:25:55,875 --> 00:25:57,208 Except maybe Count Olaf. 480 00:25:57,958 --> 00:25:59,250 You thinking what I'm thinking? 481 00:25:59,333 --> 00:26:01,041 I'm thinking it. 482 00:26:01,125 --> 00:26:04,250 I did one more fold, and that was the last fold! 483 00:26:04,333 --> 00:26:06,375 What does it... [gasps] 484 00:26:07,041 --> 00:26:08,166 Ladies and gentlemen, 485 00:26:08,958 --> 00:26:13,541 today's lucky freak proves that two heads are better than one. 486 00:26:13,625 --> 00:26:17,375 Beverly and Elliot, step on up. 487 00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:22,250 -It's a wicked thing to do. -What choice do we have? 488 00:26:26,791 --> 00:26:28,916 [as Beverly] Thank you. We're thrilled to be chosen. 489 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:29,958 You're welcome. 490 00:26:30,041 --> 00:26:36,000 Now, jump into that pit so we can all watch you get devoured by lions. 491 00:26:45,291 --> 00:26:47,416 -[woman] Get in there! -[lions roaring] 492 00:27:09,541 --> 00:27:10,791 [gasping] 493 00:27:14,541 --> 00:27:15,666 What's the problem? 494 00:27:16,708 --> 00:27:19,750 -My other head and I were thinking. -[as Elliot] Thinking with both heads. 495 00:27:19,833 --> 00:27:22,083 Instead of watching a freak jump into the lion pit, 496 00:27:22,166 --> 00:27:23,416 wouldn't it be more exciting... 497 00:27:23,500 --> 00:27:25,958 To watch a freak get pushed? 498 00:27:26,041 --> 00:27:27,875 [as Lulu] This would be more violent, please. 499 00:27:27,958 --> 00:27:28,875 [boy] Yeah, do it! 500 00:27:28,958 --> 00:27:32,625 Yes. I'd like to see that two-headed freak thrown to the lions. 501 00:27:32,708 --> 00:27:35,291 I'd like to see someone pushed into the pit. 502 00:27:35,375 --> 00:27:37,250 [audience cheering] 503 00:27:39,541 --> 00:27:43,750 And who, pray tell, do you imagine performing such a dangerous job? 504 00:27:43,833 --> 00:27:44,791 You. 505 00:27:44,875 --> 00:27:46,416 After all, you are the star of the show. 506 00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:47,500 [Bass] That's true! 507 00:27:47,583 --> 00:27:51,375 I'd like to see the ringmaster throw that freak into that pit! 508 00:27:53,375 --> 00:27:55,541 With pleasure. 509 00:28:03,666 --> 00:28:04,750 [roaring] 510 00:28:04,833 --> 00:28:06,958 [shrieks] 511 00:28:08,958 --> 00:28:11,708 I am deeply honored to have been asked. 512 00:28:11,791 --> 00:28:16,083 But I'm afraid I couldn't possibly go any further than here. 513 00:28:16,166 --> 00:28:19,416 -Why not? -[stammers] I'm allergic to cats. 514 00:28:19,500 --> 00:28:20,791 Really? 515 00:28:21,708 --> 00:28:24,208 Wow. I didn't even know you had allergies, boss. 516 00:28:24,291 --> 00:28:27,166 I have an idea! Madame Lulu, 517 00:28:27,250 --> 00:28:29,333 you walk the plank and throw the freak to its death. 518 00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:30,833 [Olaf] Of course! 519 00:28:30,916 --> 00:28:34,416 After all, Madame Lulu is the reason we're all here today. 520 00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:36,541 What do you think, violence fans? 521 00:28:36,625 --> 00:28:40,000 Let's see Madame Lulu throw Beverly and Elliot in the pit! 522 00:28:40,083 --> 00:28:42,041 Hit her with something! That'll get her moving. 523 00:28:42,125 --> 00:28:44,166 That will not be necessary, please. 524 00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:46,208 I'm positively gasping with suspense. 525 00:28:54,791 --> 00:28:57,416 -[as Violet] What do we do? -[as Olivia] I don't know. 526 00:28:57,500 --> 00:28:58,875 Stop whispering. 527 00:28:59,583 --> 00:29:01,333 We're increasing suspense. 528 00:29:01,416 --> 00:29:03,958 The suspense has been increased enough. 529 00:29:04,041 --> 00:29:05,916 This is the moment we've all been waiting for. 530 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,541 If Madame Lulu is not brave enough to do it, 531 00:29:08,625 --> 00:29:12,458 then whoever volunteers will get a special reward. 532 00:29:12,541 --> 00:29:15,125 I'm brave enough! So are Kevin and Colette! 533 00:29:15,208 --> 00:29:17,166 Freaks that are brave? Don't be ridiculous. 534 00:29:17,250 --> 00:29:18,583 We are brave! 535 00:29:18,666 --> 00:29:23,166 Count Olaf, let us prove it to you, and then you can employ us. 536 00:29:23,250 --> 00:29:25,416 -Employ you? -Oh, what a wonderful idea! 537 00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:26,541 I'll do it! 538 00:29:26,625 --> 00:29:28,625 -No, I'll do it! -No, I'll do it! With both hands! 539 00:29:28,708 --> 00:29:30,875 I'll do it! I don't want a freak for a coworker. 540 00:29:30,958 --> 00:29:34,000 Ahh! [grunts] 541 00:29:35,958 --> 00:29:37,250 I'll do it for Esmé! 542 00:29:37,333 --> 00:29:39,416 [all grunt] 543 00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:41,833 I should get that reward. I live on a teacher's salary. 544 00:29:41,916 --> 00:29:45,666 I don't even care who gets eaten. I just want to feel alive! 545 00:29:45,750 --> 00:29:48,041 I never knew this show involved audience participation. 546 00:29:48,125 --> 00:29:49,083 [lions roaring] 547 00:29:49,791 --> 00:29:51,125 [Colette] I can't wait anymore. 548 00:29:51,208 --> 00:29:53,416 I'm ready to push someone myself. 549 00:29:54,208 --> 00:29:55,041 [exhales sharply] 550 00:29:55,750 --> 00:29:56,750 [as Olivia] Trust me. 551 00:30:02,625 --> 00:30:04,208 [both panting and coughing] 552 00:30:04,583 --> 00:30:06,500 -No! [gasps] -Go! 553 00:30:06,583 --> 00:30:08,250 -But-- -I'm right behind you. 554 00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:10,708 I've been behind you all along. 555 00:30:13,166 --> 00:30:14,541 Go! 556 00:30:16,916 --> 00:30:21,791 You're no fortune-teller. You're that school librarian! 557 00:30:21,875 --> 00:30:24,708 I'm more than that. I'm a volunteer. 558 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,041 Well, thank you for volunteering. 559 00:30:29,916 --> 00:30:33,291 Now it's time for your special reward. 560 00:30:35,875 --> 00:30:36,875 [screams] 561 00:30:39,875 --> 00:30:41,875 [lions roaring] 562 00:30:46,791 --> 00:30:49,083 I never had the privilege of meeting Olivia Caliban, 563 00:30:49,166 --> 00:30:50,958 but I do know my brother loved her. 564 00:30:51,541 --> 00:30:56,166 I know she was armed with curiosity, a well-defined moral compass, 565 00:30:56,250 --> 00:30:58,375 and a well-curated collection of books. 566 00:30:59,291 --> 00:31:03,500 In other words, she was like many librarians I've known. 567 00:31:05,333 --> 00:31:07,625 A brave and noble person 568 00:31:07,708 --> 00:31:10,958 who did not deserve to end up in the belly of the beast. 569 00:31:12,916 --> 00:31:14,500 -[lions roaring] -[Olivia screams] 570 00:31:14,583 --> 00:31:16,500 -[as Klaus] That sounded like-- -Olivia. 571 00:31:18,583 --> 00:31:20,916 If she's dead, it's our fault. We thought to push Olaf. 572 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,250 We can't think about that now. We have to get out of here. 573 00:31:26,125 --> 00:31:27,625 -[lions roar] -[shudders] 574 00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:34,708 I always thought it would be entertaining to see someone eaten by lions, 575 00:31:34,791 --> 00:31:35,958 but that was... 576 00:31:36,041 --> 00:31:37,666 -Horrifying. -Terrifying. 577 00:31:37,750 --> 00:31:39,708 -Messy. -That could've been me. 578 00:31:40,333 --> 00:31:41,500 It could have been any of us. 579 00:31:42,791 --> 00:31:46,000 -I want to go home. -Me, too. 580 00:31:48,958 --> 00:31:49,958 The book. 581 00:31:54,708 --> 00:31:56,500 Olivia promised she'd find it for us. 582 00:31:56,583 --> 00:32:00,916 She was a great person and a great librarian. 583 00:32:01,750 --> 00:32:03,875 -[Olaf] The show's not over yet. -Count Olaf. 584 00:32:11,166 --> 00:32:13,750 -What are you cowards doing here? -They might be cowards, 585 00:32:13,833 --> 00:32:15,875 but I'm prepared to offer them a place in my troupe. 586 00:32:15,958 --> 00:32:17,916 [as Beverly] That's very kind of you to offer, 587 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,875 but you don't want us cowards in your troupe. 588 00:32:19,958 --> 00:32:22,708 Sure we do. You never know when you might lose an associate. 589 00:32:22,791 --> 00:32:24,208 Look at Madame Lulu. 590 00:32:24,291 --> 00:32:25,708 [Olaf] You don't have a choice. 591 00:32:25,791 --> 00:32:29,083 We're burning down this carnival starting with that rickety roller coaster. 592 00:32:29,166 --> 00:32:30,541 See for yourself. 593 00:32:37,625 --> 00:32:39,791 -No. -[Esmé laughs] 594 00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:43,333 You see, if you don't join us, where can you possibly go? 595 00:32:44,208 --> 00:32:45,666 [as Elliot] Where are you going? 596 00:32:46,458 --> 00:32:47,291 Hello. 597 00:32:51,166 --> 00:32:52,000 Give... [grunts] 598 00:32:54,625 --> 00:32:57,083 -[Beverly gasps] -I haven't seen one of these in years. 599 00:32:57,166 --> 00:32:59,041 [Esmé] A brown stain? You saw that this morning. 600 00:32:59,125 --> 00:33:00,541 -Coded stain. -Oh. 601 00:33:00,625 --> 00:33:04,125 It's to mark a secret location without anyone else noticing. 602 00:33:04,208 --> 00:33:08,750 And this stain happens to mark the secret location of VFD headquarters. 603 00:33:08,833 --> 00:33:11,375 I haven't been there in years. Not since that masked ball 604 00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:15,250 when I failed to push a woman in a dragonfly costume off a cliff. 605 00:33:15,333 --> 00:33:16,666 Who knew those wings worked? 606 00:33:16,750 --> 00:33:19,416 A map to the VFD headquarters. 607 00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:23,416 Yes. That must be where the survivor of the fire is hiding. 608 00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:27,083 It seems like Madame Lulu gave us one last answer after all. 609 00:33:27,625 --> 00:33:29,333 I'm really going to miss her. 610 00:33:29,416 --> 00:33:33,291 Hmm. Pack your mittens, kitten. We're going to the Mortmain Mountains. 611 00:33:33,958 --> 00:33:36,375 I wonder if Lulu left anything else useful here. 612 00:33:36,458 --> 00:33:37,875 I don't see anything useful. 613 00:33:41,291 --> 00:33:43,333 I think you're lying to me. 614 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,416 My other head is telling the truth. 615 00:33:45,500 --> 00:33:49,541 Well, then what is that box of food doing there? 616 00:33:49,625 --> 00:33:52,833 Don't you think food would be useful on a long journey? 617 00:33:52,916 --> 00:33:55,166 -[growls] -[shudders] 618 00:33:55,250 --> 00:33:57,916 Chabo compliments you on your cleverness. We hadn't noticed it. 619 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,083 That's why I'm the boss, 620 00:33:59,166 --> 00:34:02,791 and I boss you to carry that crate to my car. 621 00:34:02,875 --> 00:34:07,541 But first, I want you to light this tent on fire. 622 00:34:09,083 --> 00:34:09,916 Really? 623 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,708 Yes, really. You're with us now, freaks. 624 00:34:13,791 --> 00:34:15,916 Really light this tent on fire. 625 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,875 Really destroy all these papers and notes 626 00:34:18,958 --> 00:34:21,000 and the rest of Madame Lulu's boring clutter, 627 00:34:21,083 --> 00:34:24,000 and then meet me at the car when you're done. 628 00:34:24,625 --> 00:34:26,458 Chabo, you're coming with me. 629 00:34:26,541 --> 00:34:27,833 -[growling] -[shudders] 630 00:34:27,916 --> 00:34:31,833 -Chabo would prefer to stay with us. -I could care less. 631 00:34:31,916 --> 00:34:35,291 I am the man in charge here, not this feral little monster. 632 00:34:35,375 --> 00:34:38,208 -[growling] -Come... Just stop... Stop growling! 633 00:34:40,083 --> 00:34:42,708 Nice wolfie. 634 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000 [Chabo whining] 635 00:34:53,041 --> 00:34:57,000 You know, you're lucky that there are so many books and films here. 636 00:34:57,791 --> 00:34:59,166 They're highly flammable. 637 00:35:00,125 --> 00:35:01,750 Burn this tent down 638 00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:05,750 and then you can join that little wolf baby in my acting troupe. 639 00:35:05,833 --> 00:35:07,541 [breathes shakily] 640 00:35:09,541 --> 00:35:11,708 It's time to take up the torch. 641 00:35:25,291 --> 00:35:26,750 [as Klaus] We're not going with Olaf. 642 00:35:26,833 --> 00:35:30,291 He already has Sunny, and he burned our ride out of here. 643 00:35:30,375 --> 00:35:33,875 And riding with him is the only way to get to the mountains. 644 00:35:35,083 --> 00:35:37,833 If we set that fire, we're as bad as he is. 645 00:35:37,916 --> 00:35:41,333 If we don't, we'll never find out if one of our parents survived. 646 00:35:42,875 --> 00:35:44,333 I know just how you feel. 647 00:35:47,750 --> 00:35:50,000 My first time was hard, too. 648 00:35:51,250 --> 00:35:52,875 Let me help you with that. 649 00:36:12,125 --> 00:36:13,916 Get the food. 650 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,041 You can ride in the gift caravan. 651 00:36:27,125 --> 00:36:28,708 We're going to pull it behind us. 652 00:36:28,791 --> 00:36:31,250 With so many new recruits, we're getting mighty crowded. 653 00:36:32,458 --> 00:36:34,208 Ow, your hooks are hurting me. 654 00:36:34,291 --> 00:36:36,166 -Get in the trunk, freak! -Okay. 655 00:36:36,250 --> 00:36:39,541 I know a knot called the Devil's Tongue. It might hold better. I can tie it. 656 00:36:39,625 --> 00:36:42,208 That's a relief. I have no idea what I'm doing. 657 00:36:46,916 --> 00:36:48,250 [Mr. Poe] It was horrifying. 658 00:36:48,333 --> 00:36:50,791 That anonymous tip promised I'd find the Baudelaires, 659 00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:52,375 but all I saw were freaks 660 00:36:52,458 --> 00:36:54,750 and a fortune-teller who got devoured by a lion. 661 00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:58,166 Then everything caught fire. I'm glad that ticket was comped. 662 00:36:58,958 --> 00:37:01,458 I'm on my way home now, but I have to make a detour first. 663 00:37:01,541 --> 00:37:02,750 I'm giving a teacher a ride 664 00:37:02,833 --> 00:37:05,750 and she insists on a private tour of the bank. 665 00:37:05,833 --> 00:37:07,500 -Need to make a deposit? -A withdrawal. 666 00:37:07,583 --> 00:37:10,208 Oh! What's for dinner? 667 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,000 [carnival music playing] 668 00:37:25,208 --> 00:37:27,875 Here we are, riding off into the sunset. 669 00:37:27,958 --> 00:37:29,083 It's the afternoon. 670 00:37:29,791 --> 00:37:31,333 That's not the point. 671 00:37:32,583 --> 00:37:36,291 The point is, we are going to be very, very rich. 672 00:37:36,916 --> 00:37:41,083 And the surviving Baudelaires are about to be very, very dead. 673 00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:43,583 Do you think Sunny will be okay with Count Olaf? 674 00:37:43,666 --> 00:37:45,916 [as Violet] Nobody's okay with Count Olaf. 675 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,750 But it's only until we reach the mountains. 676 00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:49,458 As soon as we're together, 677 00:37:49,541 --> 00:37:51,541 we'll escape and get to the headquarters. 678 00:37:51,625 --> 00:37:53,750 What do you think we'll find there? 679 00:37:55,083 --> 00:37:57,250 [Lemony] Sometimes a story ends before it's over 680 00:37:57,333 --> 00:38:03,125 with unanswered questions, unresolved plots, lingering suspense 681 00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:05,541 blanketing the world like snow. 682 00:38:05,625 --> 00:38:07,958 Like smoke from a suspicious fire. 683 00:38:08,041 --> 00:38:09,208 This is Larry Your-Waiter. 684 00:38:09,291 --> 00:38:13,333 I learned the survivor of the fire is headed to headquarters. I'm on my way. 685 00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:15,458 [sniffs] 686 00:38:15,541 --> 00:38:16,750 Is that smoke? 687 00:38:16,833 --> 00:38:20,583 I myself am in suspense about the current fate of the Baudelaires. 688 00:38:20,666 --> 00:38:23,333 And there are other details I've yet to discover, 689 00:38:23,416 --> 00:38:28,125 such as the fate of my late brother's taxi and location of a certain sugar bowl. 690 00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:33,791 And the identity of the previous Madame Lulu, 691 00:38:33,875 --> 00:38:37,458 though reliable sources tell me it's a woman I know very well. 692 00:38:39,458 --> 00:38:41,416 It can be frustrating to live in suspense. 693 00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:44,291 Not knowing what's around the next curve in the road. 694 00:38:46,458 --> 00:38:48,833 You may feel as if you are on the edge of a cliff, 695 00:38:48,916 --> 00:38:50,625 not knowing if you will fall. 696 00:38:50,708 --> 00:38:53,958 How sharp the rocks are at the bottom, or if you will have time to scream. 697 00:38:54,041 --> 00:38:55,750 But life is like that. 698 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,583 It's a cliff-hanger. 699 00:39:02,708 --> 00:39:06,708 [Olaf] Beverly, Elliot, press the red button and speak to me. 700 00:39:07,583 --> 00:39:10,125 -[as Beverly] We're here. -Look out the window. 701 00:39:11,333 --> 00:39:13,375 -We are. -The other window. 702 00:39:25,250 --> 00:39:27,875 -[as Violet] Stop! No! -What are you doing? Stop it. 703 00:39:27,958 --> 00:39:31,500 I didn't need a fortune-teller to tell me where the Baudelaire brats were hiding. 704 00:39:31,583 --> 00:39:33,750 I'd figured that out all by myself. 705 00:39:33,833 --> 00:39:36,583 So, allow me to tell you your future. 706 00:39:36,666 --> 00:39:42,291 A great deal of suffering and pain and then a long fall to rock bottom. 707 00:39:43,166 --> 00:39:45,583 Do you know how that feels? Because I do. 708 00:39:45,666 --> 00:39:47,916 But things are looking up for me. 709 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,833 I'm cutting all ties with my past failures. 710 00:39:51,500 --> 00:39:52,333 Get it? 711 00:39:52,416 --> 00:39:55,500 Because I'm actually cutting the rope that you tied-- 712 00:39:55,583 --> 00:39:58,125 I'm sure they get it, darling. 713 00:40:00,041 --> 00:40:00,875 [gasps] 714 00:40:01,666 --> 00:40:03,625 Goodbye, Baudelaires. 715 00:40:08,583 --> 00:40:09,875 [gasps] 716 00:40:19,458 --> 00:40:20,666 -Sunny! -Sunny! 717 00:40:23,416 --> 00:40:25,250 -[Klaus] Sunny! -[Violet] Sunny! 718 00:40:28,916 --> 00:40:30,916 -[Klaus] Sunny! -[Violet] Sunny! 719 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:36,166 Down they go, into the belly of the beast. 720 00:40:36,250 --> 00:40:38,250 [troupe laughs deviously] 721 00:40:50,375 --> 00:40:51,541 [theme music playing]