1 00:00:06,041 --> 00:00:08,000 [theme music playing] 2 00:00:10,750 --> 00:00:13,708 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 3 00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:17,416 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 4 00:00:18,041 --> 00:00:21,750 ♪ This show will wreck your evening Your whole life and your day ♪ 5 00:00:21,833 --> 00:00:24,541 ♪ Every single episode is nothing but dismay ♪ 6 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,166 ♪ So look away ♪ 7 00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:29,833 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 8 00:00:30,791 --> 00:00:33,875 ♪ The Baudelaires are trapped in mountains covered up in snow ♪ 9 00:00:33,958 --> 00:00:37,291 ♪ More villains have arrived And there is no place they can go ♪ 10 00:00:37,375 --> 00:00:41,166 ♪ It's a horrid way to start up this Our third and final season ♪ 11 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:45,083 ♪ Anyone still watching it has clearly lost all reason ♪ 12 00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:47,458 ♪ Just look away ♪ 13 00:00:47,791 --> 00:00:49,708 ♪ Look away ♪ 14 00:00:49,791 --> 00:00:51,416 ♪ There's nothing but horror ♪ 15 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,416 ♪ And inconvenience on the way ♪ 16 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,333 ♪ Ask any stable person "Should I watch?" ♪ 17 00:00:55,416 --> 00:00:56,541 ♪ And they will say ♪ 18 00:00:56,625 --> 00:00:57,833 ♪ Look away ♪ 19 00:00:58,291 --> 00:01:01,333 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 20 00:01:01,666 --> 00:01:05,041 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 21 00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:08,250 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 22 00:01:08,583 --> 00:01:12,166 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 23 00:01:16,333 --> 00:01:19,083 -You're Quigley Quagmire. -We heard you perished in a fire. 24 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,375 I survived. 25 00:01:20,916 --> 00:01:22,416 My name is Lemony Snicket, 26 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,750 and I have spent years, months, 27 00:01:24,833 --> 00:01:28,000 and countless consecutive and nonconsecutive days 28 00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:31,000 investigating how a person might survive a fire. 29 00:01:31,916 --> 00:01:34,541 A person might survive if he was unable to sleep, 30 00:01:34,625 --> 00:01:36,708 so instead of being in bed with his siblings, 31 00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:39,666 he was in the kitchen drinking hot cider with his mother, 32 00:01:39,916 --> 00:01:41,125 who smelled the smoke... 33 00:01:41,791 --> 00:01:44,250 and helped him into a secret tunnel under the house 34 00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:46,541 while she went to get the rest of the family. 35 00:01:48,291 --> 00:01:50,208 -[gasps] -[Quigley] She never came back. 36 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,166 I was an orphan. 37 00:01:52,583 --> 00:01:53,916 We know exactly how that feels. 38 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:54,958 I know you do. 39 00:01:55,375 --> 00:01:59,083 The survivor might follow the tunnel until it led to a house... 40 00:02:02,791 --> 00:02:05,250 An empty house filled with empty cages 41 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:08,500 that once held the finest reptile collection in the world. 42 00:02:08,583 --> 00:02:11,333 -[Klaus] Our Uncle Monty lived there. - [Quigley] No one lives there now. 43 00:02:11,625 --> 00:02:13,708 [Lemony] You might find canned peaches to eat... 44 00:02:13,791 --> 00:02:14,750 [screeching] 45 00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:17,875 [panting] 46 00:02:22,916 --> 00:02:24,583 And books to read. 47 00:02:29,541 --> 00:02:32,750 With a little research, you might learn of a secret organization 48 00:02:32,833 --> 00:02:34,541 and the schism that tore it apart. 49 00:02:35,666 --> 00:02:36,666 [bell dings] 50 00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:41,000 You might learn other startling information. 51 00:02:44,375 --> 00:02:45,375 [bell dings] 52 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:48,250 [brakes screech] 53 00:02:51,041 --> 00:02:52,375 Next stop, Prufrock Prep! 54 00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:53,458 [bell dings] 55 00:02:56,666 --> 00:02:58,583 Next stop, Dark Avenue! 56 00:03:00,083 --> 00:03:01,083 [bell dings] 57 00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:04,416 Next stop, the Hinterlands, the Mortmain Mountains, 58 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,750 and a bunch of even more dangerous destinations! 59 00:03:07,166 --> 00:03:08,250 [bell dings] 60 00:03:09,833 --> 00:03:12,875 He might even read about a secret mountain headquarters 61 00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:15,250 and join a group of Snow Scouts as a cover 62 00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:18,500 in case the people who burned down his home are still out there. 63 00:03:19,125 --> 00:03:22,791 This place was my last hope to finding my brother and sister. 64 00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:24,166 Duncan and Isadora are safe. 65 00:03:24,250 --> 00:03:26,750 They escaped Count Olaf in a self-sustaining hot air mobile home. 66 00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:28,250 -How do you know? -We helped them. 67 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,875 -They're our friends. -Where are they? 68 00:03:29,958 --> 00:03:31,625 We're not sure, but they are safe. 69 00:03:32,666 --> 00:03:34,583 We were hoping to find one of our parents up here. 70 00:03:35,875 --> 00:03:37,416 But we're glad we found you. 71 00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:38,583 And we'll find Sunny. 72 00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:41,083 You saved my siblings, Baudelaires. 73 00:03:42,125 --> 00:03:43,625 Let me help you save yours. 74 00:03:44,083 --> 00:03:45,916 [bearded man] So this is Sunny Baudelaire. 75 00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:49,333 [Olaf] I threw her siblings off a mountain and I'm keeping her as my servant. 76 00:03:49,416 --> 00:03:51,500 Look who's not a total disappointment after all. 77 00:03:52,791 --> 00:03:56,125 An infant servant. I had one of those myself before the schism. 78 00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:58,625 The schism was a long time ago. That baby must be all grown up. 79 00:03:58,708 --> 00:03:59,750 Not necessarily. 80 00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:06,250 You've caused almost as many problems as your parents did. 81 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:08,000 But we know how to solve problems, don't we? 82 00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:11,125 [bearded man] Fire can solve any problem in the world. 83 00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:14,541 For example, we heard a nasty rumor that the survivor of a recent fire 84 00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:17,833 was hiding at V.F.D. headquarters, so we paid it a visit. 85 00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:20,000 There aren't any survivors now. 86 00:04:20,916 --> 00:04:23,291 Sorry, just to be clear, when you say there aren't survivors, 87 00:04:23,375 --> 00:04:26,125 do you mean you killed them or didn't find them? I'm a bit confused. 88 00:04:26,208 --> 00:04:28,875 The place was deserted. The rumors were obviously false. 89 00:04:28,958 --> 00:04:32,750 We did run into one of your old associates, the Snicket girl. 90 00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:36,500 -What did you do with her? -She got away. 91 00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:37,708 [woman] She won't get far. 92 00:04:37,791 --> 00:04:39,458 She's in the middle of the mountains. 93 00:04:39,541 --> 00:04:41,625 [bearded man] And she's all alone. 94 00:04:41,708 --> 00:04:43,791 [coughing] 95 00:04:44,125 --> 00:04:45,000 You're awake! 96 00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:48,333 You were out cold, and I don't mean just because of the temperature. 97 00:04:48,416 --> 00:04:50,708 I went to get us some breakfast. I found these berries. 98 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:51,958 Those are poisonous. 99 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,208 -Argh! -Mr. Poe, 100 00:04:53,291 --> 00:04:55,375 I'm grateful for the help, the granola bar, 101 00:04:55,458 --> 00:04:57,666 and the horse blanket that smelled like nail polish, 102 00:04:57,750 --> 00:05:01,250 but I need to get back to the city. Where there's smoke, there's fire, and... 103 00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:02,458 [knife slashes] 104 00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:05,916 -[sighs] I've seen a lot of smoke. -I was a Snow Scout in my youth, 105 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,541 and even a peewee-level dropout can see that you're in no condition 106 00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:09,958 to walk down a mountain. 107 00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:11,250 I'm planning to ski. 108 00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:15,041 Perhaps I could be accommodating and give you a ride. 109 00:05:15,125 --> 00:05:17,458 -You have a car? -I was thinking of going to the city. 110 00:05:17,541 --> 00:05:19,541 They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, 111 00:05:19,625 --> 00:05:21,291 and I hope that's true of Mr. Tamerlane. 112 00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:23,083 He was very mad at me when I left. 113 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,125 How would you like more than just a ride? 114 00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:30,250 How would you like a desk job in the financial sector? 115 00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:32,500 -I prefer to work on my feet. -We have an opening. 116 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,666 My longtime secretary recently returned to Winnipeg. 117 00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:37,708 It seems that her mother passed away, and now she's the duchess of something. 118 00:05:37,791 --> 00:05:39,458 -It'll be plenty of excitement. -[buzzing] 119 00:05:39,541 --> 00:05:42,333 [Lemony] "Where there's smoke, there's fire" is an expression 120 00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:45,666 that means if something seems wrong, it usually is. 121 00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:48,250 I can promise you the office will be buzzing with activity. 122 00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:49,500 I can hear it now. 123 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,750 I need you to move toward me very quickly and very quietly. 124 00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:53,791 [buzzing] 125 00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:59,458 [screams] Ice bees! 126 00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:01,625 I may need that ride. 127 00:06:01,708 --> 00:06:04,666 [Lemony] I'm sorry to say that there is a great deal of wrong 128 00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,041 at the top of Mount Fraught... 129 00:06:06,791 --> 00:06:08,458 mostly for Sunny Baudelaire. 130 00:06:08,541 --> 00:06:10,791 This is a great deal of wrong, for me! 131 00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:13,208 I am supposed to be at the top of the world, 132 00:06:13,291 --> 00:06:16,625 but instead, those two show up, try and berate and belittle me. 133 00:06:16,916 --> 00:06:18,458 Do you know how it feels 134 00:06:18,541 --> 00:06:22,083 to try so hard to please people who fail to recognize your talent? 135 00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:23,833 -Not at all. -I need a cigarette, 136 00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:25,875 or whatever these green sticks are. 137 00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:27,708 I got it. 138 00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:29,083 [Olaf] Hm. 139 00:06:31,416 --> 00:06:32,375 [splutters] 140 00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:39,416 [coughing] 141 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,166 You seem stressed, boss. 142 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:46,541 You should take some deep breaths. Maybe a short constitutional. 143 00:06:46,625 --> 00:06:48,541 I don't have time to read a bunch of amendments! 144 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:52,458 I need to find a way to have my mentors think I'm a raging success. 145 00:06:52,541 --> 00:06:55,208 -What if I put on a show? -Is that a good idea? 146 00:06:55,291 --> 00:06:57,083 They don't seem like they appreciate the arts. 147 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,500 It's not a good idea. It's a stupendous idea! 148 00:06:59,583 --> 00:07:01,583 A little song, a little dance, 149 00:07:01,666 --> 00:07:03,666 a monologue from The Taming of Macbeth. 150 00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:05,625 What's more beloved than dinner theater? 151 00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:06,958 It's breakfast. 152 00:07:07,041 --> 00:07:09,041 It will be, once the baby cooks it. 153 00:07:09,625 --> 00:07:12,250 And it better be hot this time, baby! 154 00:07:13,416 --> 00:07:16,583 Sunny Baudelaire had several problems she needed to solve. 155 00:07:16,666 --> 00:07:20,041 She was being held captive by villains on top of a mountain 156 00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:21,416 and needed an escape. 157 00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:24,250 She needed to cook a hot breakfast for those same villains 158 00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:27,250 with only a few cold salmon, and she needed a way to signal 159 00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:30,500 to the V.F.D. agent she'd recently heard was on the mountain, 160 00:07:31,041 --> 00:07:33,250 who she hoped might be able to rescue her. 161 00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:35,541 What kind of baby doesn't know how to start a fire? 162 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,375 Smoking is very, very bad for you. 163 00:07:40,958 --> 00:07:42,833 So only use this to cook with. 164 00:07:43,708 --> 00:07:44,541 Got it? 165 00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:45,958 Hurry, I'm famished! 166 00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:47,833 [Lemony] It was a terrible situation, 167 00:07:47,916 --> 00:07:51,583 but Sunny had watched her siblings escape many terrible situations 168 00:07:51,666 --> 00:07:53,000 with clever ideas. 169 00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:56,291 So when Count Olaf gave her that odd, green cigarette, 170 00:07:56,375 --> 00:08:00,041 it gave her an idea that could solve all of her problems. 171 00:08:01,541 --> 00:08:04,041 You're gonna use that odd, green cigarette to smoke that salmon? 172 00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:06,416 Hey, that's a clever idea. 173 00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,541 [Violet] Look, green smoke. 174 00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:15,000 That's odd. 175 00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:16,791 It's coming from Mount Fraught. 176 00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:18,125 It's a Verdant Flammable Device. 177 00:08:18,208 --> 00:08:20,458 I read that V.F.D. use them for sending signals. 178 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:23,291 -So it could be someone from V.F.D. -Or it could be Sunny. 179 00:08:24,958 --> 00:08:27,000 -We have to get up there. -It's a long way to the top. 180 00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:29,291 We have to go back through the Vernacularly Fastened Door, 181 00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:32,041 down the Vertical Flame Diversion, and hike the same road the Scouts-- 182 00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:35,416 -There's a more direct way to the top. -No, there's not. Look at the map. 183 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,833 Look at the waterfall. 184 00:08:50,666 --> 00:08:53,583 [Esmé] So I said, "Oh, I know! We'll take the elevator," 185 00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:54,958 and I pushed them! 186 00:08:55,041 --> 00:08:55,958 How elegant. 187 00:08:56,041 --> 00:08:57,750 -If ineffective. -They were certainly scared. 188 00:08:57,833 --> 00:09:00,041 I thought their eyes were going to pop out of their heads! 189 00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:04,125 Olaf could learn from you, my dear. He's so flashy, so theatrical. 190 00:09:04,208 --> 00:09:06,375 He has to make everything a big production. 191 00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:09,041 [Olaf] Drumroll! Curtain! Toss it up. 192 00:09:09,125 --> 00:09:10,458 I mean, down curtain. 193 00:09:10,541 --> 00:09:12,708 [drum roll continues] 194 00:09:12,791 --> 00:09:13,625 La... 195 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,458 Lady and gentleman, 196 00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:20,791 prepare for a tale so horrifying 197 00:09:20,875 --> 00:09:23,333 it will make the hair on your head stand straight up. 198 00:09:23,958 --> 00:09:25,125 Ooh, no. 199 00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:27,041 Uh, fall right out. 200 00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:29,041 Ooh, that's also not... 201 00:09:30,291 --> 00:09:32,458 It is a tale of arson... 202 00:09:33,541 --> 00:09:34,791 and murder. 203 00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:38,583 The herpetologist, poisoned by his own venom. 204 00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:42,791 The fullygrown woman fed to fullygrown leeches. 205 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,541 The volunteers murdered to death 206 00:09:46,625 --> 00:09:49,208 in various scenic locales. 207 00:09:49,541 --> 00:09:50,666 But most of all, 208 00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:52,250 it is the tale... 209 00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:54,625 of me. 210 00:09:55,791 --> 00:10:00,375 For I am the one who committed all of those terrible deeds. 211 00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:03,166 Me, Count Olaf, 212 00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:06,125 the handsomest, most successful, 213 00:10:06,208 --> 00:10:10,375 most deserving-of-approval person alive! 214 00:10:15,375 --> 00:10:16,500 [howling] 215 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,750 Maybe we should just move along to the production number. 216 00:10:18,833 --> 00:10:19,875 And a one, and a two, 217 00:10:19,958 --> 00:10:21,750 -and a three, four, five! -[all singing] 218 00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:22,708 Enough! 219 00:10:22,791 --> 00:10:24,666 [music stops] 220 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:28,666 When we recruited you, it was to spread fire and destruction across the land. 221 00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:31,291 Not to prance around with a bunch of talentless fools. 222 00:10:31,375 --> 00:10:33,166 [bearded man] Who call themselves actors. 223 00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:36,041 Personally, I would never want to act. I'm in the financial sector. 224 00:10:36,541 --> 00:10:38,958 It was all going swimmingly until you botched the cue! 225 00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:41,166 Speaking of swimming, the smoked salmon smells great. 226 00:10:44,916 --> 00:10:45,750 Fools! 227 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:56,125 The smoke went out. 228 00:10:56,208 --> 00:10:58,041 Maybe the Verdant Flammable Device burnt out. 229 00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,791 Or maybe the person signaling got caught. 230 00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:03,375 What were you thinking, giving a Verdant Flammable Device to Sunny Baudelaire? 231 00:11:03,458 --> 00:11:05,750 -Ow! -How dare you give a cigarette to a baby? 232 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,458 But I didn't. Ow! 233 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:10,083 It isn't a cigarette. It's a signaling device. 234 00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:14,666 That baby just broadcast our location to every V.F.D. agent for a hundred miles! 235 00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:17,458 I thought you were a prisoner, but I'm beginning to think you're a spy. 236 00:11:20,291 --> 00:11:23,083 -She doesn't sound like a spy. -She sounds like a helpless baby. 237 00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:24,541 Yeah, listen to her baby talk. 238 00:11:24,625 --> 00:11:28,875 Oh, please. I've seen better performances from a chimp with a cymbal. 239 00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:31,625 She's just acting like a helpless baby. 240 00:11:32,041 --> 00:11:34,166 I know. I'm an actor. 241 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,000 [Olaf] Babies are always plotting against people, 242 00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:40,083 and this one is the worst. 243 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,791 I would throw the little traitor off this mountain right now 244 00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:45,083 if I didn't need her alive to get the Baudelaire fortune. 245 00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:46,625 The Baudelaire fortune? 246 00:11:46,708 --> 00:11:50,041 I've been after it for a long time, and it's finally in my grasp. 247 00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:52,083 The Baudelaire fortune is small potatoes. 248 00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:53,750 No, I'm pretty sure it's money. 249 00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:54,916 We taught you to think big. 250 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,833 Yeah, a big pile of money. 251 00:11:57,125 --> 00:11:58,875 Why settle for one fortune... 252 00:11:58,958 --> 00:12:00,625 When you can have them all? 253 00:12:00,708 --> 00:12:02,583 Well, that sounds promising. 254 00:12:03,291 --> 00:12:05,250 Come, Olaf. You too, Miss Squalor. 255 00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:08,083 It's time you learned why we're really on this mountain. 256 00:12:16,625 --> 00:12:18,708 [discordant music] 257 00:12:18,791 --> 00:12:21,416 [Quigley] It sounds like something terrible is happening up there. 258 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,750 I hope Violet can invent a way up the waterfall. 259 00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:25,333 Look what I found. 260 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,583 I salvaged these from the rubble. See the names? 261 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,416 [Klaus] Dr. Toronado. 262 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,708 Father took us to her engineering lectures. 263 00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:37,250 C.M. Comstock. Mother gave me her book on female pirates. 264 00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,833 I know. That's where I learned the Devil's Tongue Knot. 265 00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:43,041 [Klaus] Who's L. Snicket? 266 00:12:43,125 --> 00:12:45,333 I read his book on maps and his tutorial on the accordion. 267 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:48,166 It's like our parents were training us for V.F.D. and we didn't know it. 268 00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:50,500 As if they knew one day they wouldn't be here. 269 00:12:50,958 --> 00:12:52,375 Let's use what they gave us. 270 00:12:59,291 --> 00:13:02,083 [Lemony] There are often people in our lives who are not our parents, 271 00:13:02,166 --> 00:13:04,166 but who teach us important things. 272 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,916 These people are called mentors. 273 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,333 One of the great sadnesses of the Baudelaire case 274 00:13:08,416 --> 00:13:13,250 is that Violet never got to work alongside V.F.D.'s great inventors and researchers 275 00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:15,750 at their secret mountain headquarters, 276 00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:20,416 but she had read their work in the books her parents had given her. 277 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,041 Quigley, hand me the candelabra. 278 00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:26,166 [Lemony] So when Violet used a candelabra to hammer some damaged forks into shape, 279 00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:28,666 she could almost hear Dr. Toronado saying, 280 00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:32,041 "Mind the tines, Violet. They can be delicate." 281 00:13:33,791 --> 00:13:34,625 [sighs] 282 00:13:38,666 --> 00:13:41,000 [Lemony] When she took some strings from a burnt ukulele, 283 00:13:41,083 --> 00:13:43,666 she imagined my good friend Mrs. Comstock saying, 284 00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:46,083 "Have you considered the Sumac knot?" 285 00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:49,541 And when Violet said... 286 00:13:49,958 --> 00:13:51,583 It's time for a durability test. 287 00:13:51,666 --> 00:13:55,375 ...it was almost as if she could hear a man named Snicket say, "If this works, 288 00:13:56,375 --> 00:13:58,125 pistachios for everyone!" 289 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:01,833 It works. 290 00:14:01,916 --> 00:14:04,166 Pistachios for everyone! 291 00:14:04,791 --> 00:14:07,208 Of course, not all mentors are good. 292 00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:11,458 Many years ago in my own organization, 293 00:14:11,541 --> 00:14:14,625 there were those who prayed on impressionable minds 294 00:14:14,708 --> 00:14:16,833 by taking them in at a point in their life 295 00:14:16,916 --> 00:14:20,083 when they might be particularly lost or vulnerable. 296 00:14:20,166 --> 00:14:21,833 [bearded man] You look lost. 297 00:14:21,916 --> 00:14:24,000 How can I be lost? There are signs everywhere, 298 00:14:24,083 --> 00:14:26,041 which seems kind of dumb for a secret organization. 299 00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:27,375 [woman] We mean figuratively. 300 00:14:29,666 --> 00:14:31,083 Who are you? Wait. 301 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:34,333 You're that man with the hair and the woman with the beard, or vice versa. 302 00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:35,333 I've heard about you. 303 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,583 And vice versa. We know what happened at the opera. 304 00:14:37,666 --> 00:14:39,750 [woman] And we know how you've spent your nights since. 305 00:14:39,833 --> 00:14:41,000 Wandering these tunnels. 306 00:14:41,083 --> 00:14:42,375 -Directionless. -Alone. 307 00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:45,000 -Have you been following me? -With great interest, for some time. 308 00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:46,833 Your friends in V.F.D. betrayed you, 309 00:14:46,916 --> 00:14:49,916 but a young man with your talents doesn't need friends. 310 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:50,833 He needs guidance. 311 00:14:50,916 --> 00:14:52,166 I'll pass. 312 00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,291 I'm a tortured, brooding loner now. 313 00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:56,000 I've even taken up journaling. 314 00:14:56,708 --> 00:14:57,875 I'd rather be alone. 315 00:14:57,958 --> 00:14:59,125 Why, what a pity. 316 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:00,916 There's so much we could teach you. 317 00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:05,041 [Lemony] Bad mentors can lead you down a slippery slope, 318 00:15:05,125 --> 00:15:08,833 whether you encounter them years later at the top of a mountain, 319 00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:11,833 or you belong to their acting troupe. 320 00:15:12,875 --> 00:15:15,541 They've been in that tent for a while. I wonder what they're planning. 321 00:15:15,625 --> 00:15:17,750 -I hope it's a picnic. -It's never a picnic. 322 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:18,833 Not anymore. 323 00:15:18,916 --> 00:15:21,333 I joined Count Olaf because I thought he could teach me things, 324 00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:24,916 like how to harness my natural charisma into a career in the performing arts. 325 00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:26,458 [sighs] 326 00:15:26,541 --> 00:15:29,083 But I'm beginning to question my life choices. 327 00:15:29,166 --> 00:15:31,958 I know what you mean. I get the serious creeps from those serious creeps. 328 00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:33,916 They definitely killed those carnival freaks. 329 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,916 -Oh, yeah. -Dead as doornails. 330 00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:38,500 What do you think they're up to, baby? 331 00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:43,958 [Violet] The waterfall will be slippery. 332 00:15:44,041 --> 00:15:46,125 The tines on these forks will dig into the ice. 333 00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:47,833 [Klaus] I think you should see this. 334 00:15:47,916 --> 00:15:50,250 I was searching to see if any of the books survived the fire. 335 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:52,541 -I found this in the poetry section. -[Quigley] "Odes"? 336 00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:56,166 [Violet] "Codes." 337 00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:58,875 V.F.D. have a secret way to leave coded messages in case of fires. 338 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,541 There might be a message hidden now. 339 00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:03,750 Then somebody needs to find it. Quigley, how are you at cracking codes? 340 00:16:03,833 --> 00:16:05,666 I can try, but I'm better at reading maps. 341 00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:08,833 You're better at climbing too. I saw you in the Vertical Flame Diversion. 342 00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:11,583 You can help by saving Sunny. I'll stay here and see what I can learn. 343 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:12,625 Are you sure? 344 00:16:12,708 --> 00:16:15,458 You invented a way up the mountain. Now it's my turn to use my talents. 345 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,291 If Sunny's up there, we'll bring her back. 346 00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:18,250 I know you will. 347 00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:24,125 Thank you for volunteering. 348 00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:28,916 We'll use these to pull ourselves up and test for thin ice so we don't fall. 349 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,666 Not falling is an excellent plan. 350 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,333 -Are you ready? -If we wait until we're ready... 351 00:16:35,416 --> 00:16:37,541 We'll be waiting for the rest of our lives. 352 00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:50,333 [grunting] 353 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,041 [Violet gasps] 354 00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:08,583 [Quigley] We should rest. 355 00:17:09,875 --> 00:17:10,916 I see a ledge. 356 00:17:11,916 --> 00:17:13,416 It's not much further. 357 00:17:13,916 --> 00:17:15,541 [babbling] 358 00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:17,458 Look, I'm not happy about it either, okay? 359 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:18,833 No way! 360 00:17:18,916 --> 00:17:21,916 This is totally different from the last time we locked you in a birdcage. 361 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,291 This birdcage is bigger. 362 00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:25,833 I think it's for trapping eagles. 363 00:17:28,375 --> 00:17:30,375 You're asking why a grown man would knowingly engage 364 00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:31,833 in morally questionable behavior? 365 00:17:32,916 --> 00:17:34,625 You'll understand when you're older. 366 00:17:34,708 --> 00:17:35,625 Here, I got you. 367 00:17:40,833 --> 00:17:44,208 This ledge is solid. We should sit here for a moment to get our strength back. 368 00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:47,416 Good idea. You're an excellent climber. You're an excellent inventor. 369 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,666 Thanks. But let's not celebrate yet. There's a long way to go. 370 00:17:50,916 --> 00:17:54,416 Celebrate when you're half done and the finish won't be quite as fun. 371 00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,000 My sister wrote that. 372 00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:58,250 Once we find Sunny, we'll search for Duncan and Isadora. 373 00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:00,166 Your glove! 374 00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:01,708 We'll get it on the way down. 375 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,916 If you have to hide a headquarters, it's a beautiful place to do it. 376 00:18:07,041 --> 00:18:08,208 [Violet] It's a lovely view. 377 00:18:09,791 --> 00:18:11,083 Very lovely, indeed. 378 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,458 [Lemony] Many things have been taken from the Baudelaires 379 00:18:30,541 --> 00:18:32,458 since they lost their parents and their home. 380 00:18:32,541 --> 00:18:35,041 One of those things is their privacy, so... 381 00:18:37,041 --> 00:18:40,458 Instead of telling you about the few moments shared between two friends 382 00:18:40,541 --> 00:18:43,708 on a chilly afternoon halfway up a frozen waterfall, 383 00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:48,250 I will offer the eldest Baudelaire this courtesy and... 384 00:18:49,666 --> 00:18:52,416 allow her to keep some moments to herself. 385 00:19:14,083 --> 00:19:16,791 Look, I didn't set out to be a henchperson or an actor. 386 00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:18,375 I was gonna be a marine biologist. 387 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,458 [grunting] 388 00:19:24,375 --> 00:19:26,833 [Violet gasps] It is Sunny. She's safe. 389 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,625 How can we rescue her with that hook-handed man standing guard? 390 00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:33,166 [babbling] 391 00:19:33,666 --> 00:19:35,083 We've got plenty of ice water. 392 00:19:35,166 --> 00:19:36,875 [babbling] 393 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:39,666 I saw the boss chuck a half-empty bottle of sarsaparilla down the road, 394 00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:41,666 but I'm not supposed to leave you alone. 395 00:19:45,375 --> 00:19:47,666 [sighs] Oh, don't give me that look. 396 00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:50,875 All right. Wait. 397 00:20:05,541 --> 00:20:06,375 Sunny. 398 00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:09,791 He's at the headquarters. We're here to rescue you. 399 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:16,250 This is Quigley, his brother. He survived the fire. There's so much to tell you. 400 00:20:16,708 --> 00:20:18,375 [Olaf] Oh, babylaire! 401 00:20:25,375 --> 00:20:28,291 I thought of some more demeaning tasks for you to perform. 402 00:20:28,375 --> 00:20:30,750 [Esmé] You're going to cook a very fancy, very "in" dinner. 403 00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:33,375 Tonight, we're celebrating False Spring! 404 00:20:33,458 --> 00:20:35,125 That's not all we're celebrating. 405 00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:37,208 [chuckles wickedly] 406 00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:40,375 Where's Hooky? I told him to wait right here. 407 00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:42,958 You seem to have trouble controlling your underlings. 408 00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:45,583 Oh, yes, I like to let them roam. 409 00:20:45,958 --> 00:20:48,875 -You know, free-range henchpeople. -[woman] We have a job for you. 410 00:20:48,958 --> 00:20:50,625 There's a camp in the woods. 411 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:54,125 There you will find a tarp. Bring it here and lay it over the road. 412 00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:56,416 That sounds like work. Why do we have to do it? 413 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,375 You'll do it because we say so. 414 00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,500 -That's a good point. -Yeah. 415 00:21:00,583 --> 00:21:03,416 We've already yelled at the baby. There's not much else to do here anyway. 416 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,541 You're too concerned about that baby, Olaf. 417 00:21:05,625 --> 00:21:09,416 After tonight, countless orphans and their fortunes will be ours. 418 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,208 Are you sure that they're all orphans? 419 00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:12,791 Not yet, they're not. 420 00:21:22,833 --> 00:21:24,875 [panting] Who were those horrible people? 421 00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:26,625 [babbling] 422 00:21:26,708 --> 00:21:29,000 They're the ones who burned down V.F.D. headquarters? 423 00:21:31,625 --> 00:21:34,000 Let's go. I can strap you to my shoulders and carry you down. 424 00:21:35,083 --> 00:21:36,500 You are. We came here to rescue you. 425 00:21:41,583 --> 00:21:43,166 Who's Mata Hari? 426 00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:46,416 She's the Dutch courtesan who spied on Germany during World War One. 427 00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,416 Sunny's saying she wants to stay here and spy. 428 00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:50,041 [babbling] 429 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,166 Those villains were talking about making more orphans. 430 00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:55,125 If Sunny could find out what they're planning, 431 00:21:55,208 --> 00:21:57,500 we could prevent this from happening to anyone else. 432 00:21:58,416 --> 00:22:01,125 I can't leave her behind. She's my baby sister! 433 00:22:05,416 --> 00:22:07,666 [man] Hey, baby, you'd better not be getting in trouble! 434 00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:09,625 He's coming back. We have to go. 435 00:22:09,708 --> 00:22:11,791 I can't leave you. How are you gonna get out? 436 00:22:25,666 --> 00:22:27,000 [babbling] 437 00:22:35,541 --> 00:22:36,958 Here, take my lock pick. 438 00:22:37,041 --> 00:22:39,083 [Violet] You can use that toboggan to escape. 439 00:22:39,166 --> 00:22:40,000 Violet! 440 00:22:40,791 --> 00:22:42,458 How did you get to be so brave? 441 00:22:44,541 --> 00:22:45,583 [whispers] Come on. 442 00:22:52,541 --> 00:22:54,958 I couldn't find the sarsaparilla, but look what I got. 443 00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:56,958 Parsley soda! 444 00:22:57,291 --> 00:22:59,291 [panting] 445 00:22:59,916 --> 00:23:00,916 Did you find Sunny? 446 00:23:01,541 --> 00:23:03,791 She was the one who was sending the signal. She's safe. 447 00:23:03,875 --> 00:23:05,458 She knows who burned down the headquarters. 448 00:23:05,541 --> 00:23:06,708 A man with a beard but no hair. 449 00:23:06,791 --> 00:23:09,458 And a woman with hair but no beard. Count Olaf was afraid of them. 450 00:23:09,541 --> 00:23:11,541 -And you left her? -They're planning something bad. 451 00:23:11,625 --> 00:23:13,375 They were talking about making more orphans. 452 00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:16,291 [inhales deeply] Sunny wanted to spy to find out more. 453 00:23:16,375 --> 00:23:19,166 -She's just a baby. She can't be a spy. -She's not a baby anymore. 454 00:23:19,666 --> 00:23:22,583 She's gonna meet us down here as soon as she finds out anything. 455 00:23:22,666 --> 00:23:24,250 It was her idea. She insisted. 456 00:23:24,333 --> 00:23:26,291 -She insisted? -She volunteered. 457 00:23:32,333 --> 00:23:35,291 -Then I guess we have to trust her. -What choice do we have? 458 00:23:39,625 --> 00:23:40,750 Did you find anything? 459 00:23:42,291 --> 00:23:44,875 I found V.F.D. If you were in a building about to be burnt down 460 00:23:44,958 --> 00:23:46,250 and you had to protect something, 461 00:23:46,333 --> 00:23:47,875 -where would you hide it? -A safe. 462 00:23:47,958 --> 00:23:49,666 Assume you didn't have time to open the safe. 463 00:23:49,750 --> 00:23:51,791 -The refrigerator. -Exactly. So I searched the fridge. 464 00:23:51,875 --> 00:23:52,958 [Quigley] What did you find? 465 00:23:54,541 --> 00:23:55,833 Verbal Fridge Dialogue. 466 00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:57,416 Verbal Fridge Dialogue? 467 00:23:57,500 --> 00:24:00,208 Verbal Fridge Dialogue. It's a code used in emergency situations. 468 00:24:00,291 --> 00:24:03,708 If you can't send a message, you leave one using the items you find in the fridge. 469 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,000 Listen to this. 470 00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:09,333 "The darkest of the jams of three contains the sender, look and see.” 471 00:24:09,416 --> 00:24:11,083 That sounds like one of Isadora's poems. 472 00:24:11,166 --> 00:24:13,041 She learned to write couplets from our parents. 473 00:24:13,916 --> 00:24:17,833 Well, the poem means that the name of the person sending the message 474 00:24:17,916 --> 00:24:19,083 is in the darkest jar of jam. 475 00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:21,291 The darkest jam is boysenberry. 476 00:24:22,916 --> 00:24:23,833 J.S. 477 00:24:23,916 --> 00:24:25,708 -Jacques Snicket? -But Jacques Snicket's dead. 478 00:24:25,791 --> 00:24:28,333 That's not the only thing that's strange about this message. 479 00:24:28,708 --> 00:24:31,333 "Gatherings use a cured fruit-based calendar, 480 00:24:31,416 --> 00:24:34,000 and location can be divined via any spice-based condiment." 481 00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:36,750 J.S. is calling a meeting for the whole of V.F.D. 482 00:24:38,166 --> 00:24:40,625 The number of olives is the day of the week it is. 483 00:24:40,916 --> 00:24:42,500 One for Sunday, two for Monday. 484 00:24:42,583 --> 00:24:44,208 -There are five olives. -Thursday. 485 00:24:44,291 --> 00:24:46,583 If this message was left during the fire, then... 486 00:24:46,666 --> 00:24:48,166 the gathering's less than a week away. 487 00:24:48,250 --> 00:24:49,541 But where is it? 488 00:24:49,625 --> 00:24:51,666 The only spice-based condiment is this jar of mustard. 489 00:24:51,750 --> 00:24:52,958 [Klaus] Read the ingredients. 490 00:24:53,041 --> 00:24:55,416 "Vinegar, mustard seed, salt, turmeric, 491 00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:57,291 the Last Safe Place." 492 00:24:58,250 --> 00:24:59,541 The Last Safe Place. 493 00:24:59,625 --> 00:25:01,833 If we find the Last Safe Place, we can find V.F.D. 494 00:25:01,916 --> 00:25:03,291 I don't know where that is. 495 00:25:03,375 --> 00:25:06,041 If the answer was in this library, then it's gone up in smoke. 496 00:25:06,875 --> 00:25:08,500 Maybe Sunny can learn something. 497 00:25:09,666 --> 00:25:11,333 We'll keep an eye out for her. 498 00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:18,041 False spring rolls. 499 00:25:20,041 --> 00:25:21,250 [muttering] 500 00:25:21,333 --> 00:25:22,750 The bossery. 501 00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:26,000 Do you see that? 502 00:25:27,083 --> 00:25:28,000 There it is again. 503 00:25:28,083 --> 00:25:29,541 A little flicker of light, 504 00:25:29,625 --> 00:25:31,250 -like a spyglass. -[man] A volunteer? 505 00:25:31,333 --> 00:25:32,541 Go fetch them, Olaf. 506 00:25:33,375 --> 00:25:36,125 Me? I don't wanna. Make the baby. 507 00:25:36,208 --> 00:25:38,666 This is no job for a baby. If there's a volunteer down there... 508 00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:40,500 -They may have the sugar bowl. -I'll go! 509 00:25:40,583 --> 00:25:41,958 I'll go!   I'll go! 510 00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:44,083 I'm always happy to help. 511 00:25:44,166 --> 00:25:46,666 I'll just slip into something more horrifying and pop right down. 512 00:25:48,875 --> 00:25:50,291 The baby is watching us. 513 00:25:50,375 --> 00:25:51,958 -Cover the cage! -Cover the cage! 514 00:25:52,041 --> 00:25:54,291 Cover the cage! Shh! 515 00:25:57,541 --> 00:25:58,958 I was gonna say it first. 516 00:26:00,958 --> 00:26:02,000 Sorry, baby. 517 00:26:04,625 --> 00:26:06,500 [Quigley] There's someone coming down that slope! 518 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,000 It must be Sunny! 519 00:26:10,250 --> 00:26:13,000 [Klaus] I don't think so. Whoever it is, they're too tall to be Sunny. 520 00:26:14,375 --> 00:26:16,833 That's strange. Yeah, it looks like they're on fire. 521 00:26:20,125 --> 00:26:21,333 [Violet] It's not fire. 522 00:26:21,875 --> 00:26:23,333 -It's fashion. -Esmé. 523 00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:26,083 [whooping] 524 00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:30,166 [whooping] 525 00:26:30,250 --> 00:26:32,166 [sighing] 526 00:26:32,250 --> 00:26:33,625 [yelling] 527 00:26:35,208 --> 00:26:36,791 [crashing] 528 00:26:36,875 --> 00:26:38,000 [bottles tinkle] 529 00:26:45,625 --> 00:26:48,458 I thought you volunteers were supposed to be smart, 530 00:26:48,541 --> 00:26:52,875 but if someone is still lurking around, that's very stupid. 531 00:26:52,958 --> 00:26:54,666 Your headquarters are destroyed, 532 00:26:54,750 --> 00:26:58,875 your worst enemies are on top of that mountain, 533 00:26:59,375 --> 00:27:00,666 and I'm right here... 534 00:27:01,208 --> 00:27:02,875 and dressed to kill. 535 00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:07,833 [Esmé] Boo! 536 00:27:07,916 --> 00:27:09,541 You're short for a volunteer, 537 00:27:09,625 --> 00:27:12,750 but I've always said reading stunts your growth. 538 00:27:13,166 --> 00:27:15,541 Don't run. I just want to torture you 539 00:27:15,625 --> 00:27:18,500 until you give me the location of the sugar bowl. 540 00:27:19,125 --> 00:27:21,583 You once threw a masked ball here and didn't invite me. 541 00:27:21,666 --> 00:27:22,875 Not that I care. 542 00:27:23,500 --> 00:27:26,125 A face this gorgeous should never be hidden behind a mask. 543 00:27:29,541 --> 00:27:30,583 Are you in the kitchen? 544 00:27:33,708 --> 00:27:37,791 Perhaps you're hiding in... whatever this room is. The... 545 00:27:37,875 --> 00:27:38,958 Oh, right. 546 00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:40,750 It's the hot tub room. 547 00:27:41,166 --> 00:27:42,500 You'd better come out now. 548 00:27:43,291 --> 00:27:44,583 When I get my hands on you, 549 00:27:44,666 --> 00:27:48,166 skinning you alive will be the second worst thing I've done in a hot tub. 550 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,250 [snapping] 551 00:27:49,666 --> 00:27:51,375 -[creaking] -Argh! 552 00:27:51,458 --> 00:27:53,333 [crashing] 553 00:27:53,875 --> 00:27:55,291 I think we just trapped Esmé Squalor 554 00:27:55,375 --> 00:27:57,583 at the bottom of a surprisingly deep hot tub. 555 00:27:57,666 --> 00:27:58,833 Is she alive? 556 00:28:06,458 --> 00:28:07,833 Get me out of here at once! 557 00:28:07,916 --> 00:28:12,500 Being trapped in a hot tub is even less "in" than getting in a hot tub on purpose. 558 00:28:12,583 --> 00:28:13,666 She's alive. 559 00:28:13,750 --> 00:28:16,166 -I can make a pulley to get her out. -Or... 560 00:28:18,833 --> 00:28:20,416 -Or? -Get me out of here! 561 00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:23,166 Count Olaf has someone you love. Now we have someone he loves. 562 00:28:23,250 --> 00:28:25,250 -We could arrange a trade. -An exchange of hostages. 563 00:28:25,333 --> 00:28:28,208 When my boyfriend finds out that you trapped me down here, 564 00:28:28,291 --> 00:28:30,875 he is going to be so angry! 565 00:28:30,958 --> 00:28:32,666 Olaf captures people to get what he wants. 566 00:28:32,750 --> 00:28:34,541 You really want to do the same thing as him? 567 00:28:34,625 --> 00:28:36,083 You have to fight fire with fire. 568 00:28:36,166 --> 00:28:39,041 If everyone fought fire with fire, the world would go up in smoke. 569 00:28:39,125 --> 00:28:39,958 Klaus is right. 570 00:28:40,041 --> 00:28:41,791 -There has to be another way. -[Esmé] Klaus? 571 00:28:42,541 --> 00:28:45,583 Oh, this is rich. 572 00:28:46,208 --> 00:28:48,833 You're not volunteers at all. You're Baudelaires! 573 00:28:48,916 --> 00:28:51,416 Olaf will be so disappointed you didn't die 574 00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:53,125 when he dropped you off that mountain. 575 00:28:53,208 --> 00:28:57,125 Of course, he'll be thrilled. He'll get to kill you all over again. 576 00:28:58,166 --> 00:28:59,166 You... 577 00:28:59,250 --> 00:29:02,291 Didn't you float off in a bunch of balloons? 578 00:29:02,375 --> 00:29:04,041 I'm Quigley Quagmire. I survived the fire. 579 00:29:04,125 --> 00:29:07,750 Sheesh, some days you just can't catch a break. 580 00:29:07,833 --> 00:29:10,125 We'll get you out, but only if you help get our sister back. 581 00:29:10,208 --> 00:29:12,750 And what if I refuse? 582 00:29:14,125 --> 00:29:16,541 That's the problem with your side of the schism. 583 00:29:16,625 --> 00:29:19,791 Being righteous and well-read never gets you anywhere. 584 00:29:20,541 --> 00:29:23,166 When I was your age, I was supposed to waste my entire summer 585 00:29:23,250 --> 00:29:24,208 reading Anna Karenina. 586 00:29:24,291 --> 00:29:27,791 I knew that dumb book would never help me, so I threw it in the fireplace. 587 00:29:27,875 --> 00:29:29,708 And look at me now! 588 00:29:30,125 --> 00:29:33,333 I'm beautiful and fashionable! 589 00:29:33,416 --> 00:29:34,875 You're trapped in a hot tub. 590 00:29:34,958 --> 00:29:36,708 And I'm still better off than you! 591 00:29:36,791 --> 00:29:38,833 You'll never save your sister, 592 00:29:39,416 --> 00:29:41,291 just like you'll never save those rich kids 593 00:29:41,375 --> 00:29:43,625 hiking up Mount Fraught to celebrate False Spring. 594 00:29:43,708 --> 00:29:44,541 False Spring? 595 00:29:44,625 --> 00:29:46,375 -"Countless orphans." -"Countless fortunes." 596 00:29:46,458 --> 00:29:48,833 They're gonna kidnap the Snow Scouts and murder their parents. 597 00:29:51,833 --> 00:29:53,458 [Scout leader] Carmelita! Carmelita! 598 00:29:53,541 --> 00:29:54,375 [panting] 599 00:29:54,458 --> 00:29:56,458 Carmelita, maybe we could turn back. 600 00:29:56,541 --> 00:29:58,375 I can't feel my toes, and this luggage is heavy. 601 00:29:59,166 --> 00:30:00,208 [giggles] 602 00:30:00,291 --> 00:30:02,500 You'll turn back when I say you can turn back... 603 00:30:02,583 --> 00:30:03,666 At the top of Mount Fraught, 604 00:30:03,750 --> 00:30:06,708 after I've been crowned False Spring Queen! 605 00:30:06,791 --> 00:30:10,333 I told you, False Spring Queen is a democratically elected position. 606 00:30:10,416 --> 00:30:12,708 Only cakesniffers care about democracy! 607 00:30:12,791 --> 00:30:13,958 Who put you in charge? 608 00:30:14,041 --> 00:30:17,458 All of your extremely wealthy parents, although I am starting to suspect 609 00:30:17,541 --> 00:30:19,875 they had their own reasons for sending you out into the wild. 610 00:30:19,958 --> 00:30:24,166 Well, maybe I'm tired of taking orders from a lady who smells like cats. 611 00:30:24,250 --> 00:30:27,083 Who wants to abandon the scout leader on the side of the road 612 00:30:27,166 --> 00:30:29,333 where she'll starve and go feral 613 00:30:29,416 --> 00:30:31,250 and have to survive by eating dirt? 614 00:30:31,333 --> 00:30:33,541 [cheering] 615 00:30:33,625 --> 00:30:36,708 Now follow me like the queen I am! 616 00:30:37,416 --> 00:30:38,666 [Carmelita] Mush! Mush! 617 00:30:38,750 --> 00:30:39,750 [Scout leader] But... 618 00:30:44,625 --> 00:30:45,666 I'm free. 619 00:30:45,750 --> 00:30:47,625 [panting] 620 00:30:47,708 --> 00:30:49,791 [woman shouting] Mush! Mush! 621 00:30:49,875 --> 00:30:52,083 Mush, mush, mush! 622 00:30:52,166 --> 00:30:54,458 Mush, mush, mush! 623 00:30:54,541 --> 00:30:57,250 I wish you'd stop saying that. It's not helping. 624 00:30:57,333 --> 00:31:00,041 Well, I wish you would mush faster. 625 00:31:00,125 --> 00:31:01,375 I still don't like this plan. 626 00:31:01,458 --> 00:31:03,458 Me neither, but what choice do we have? 627 00:31:03,541 --> 00:31:05,666 Mush, mush, mush! 628 00:31:05,750 --> 00:31:09,166 We stand on the brink of our greatest triumph. 629 00:31:09,250 --> 00:31:10,750 [woman] A troupe of Snow Scouts 630 00:31:10,833 --> 00:31:14,416 from the wealthiest families in the city are on their way here right now. 631 00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:17,083 [Bearded man] We'll capture every one of those uniformed brats, 632 00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:20,583 and each of them will be offered the exciting opportunity to join us. 633 00:31:21,833 --> 00:31:23,333 What if they refuse? 634 00:31:23,416 --> 00:31:25,125 We'll burn down their parents' homes. 635 00:31:25,208 --> 00:31:26,916 With their parents inside. 636 00:31:27,375 --> 00:31:28,666 That happened to our home. 637 00:31:28,750 --> 00:31:29,958 That happened to our parents. 638 00:31:30,291 --> 00:31:32,625 To be clear, we're going to kidnap a bunch of rich kids, 639 00:31:32,708 --> 00:31:34,708 eliminate their parents in a series of arsons, 640 00:31:34,791 --> 00:31:38,000 then, while waiting for them to come of age so we can seize their fortunes, 641 00:31:38,083 --> 00:31:41,208 indoctrinate them via a combination of emotionallydistant parenting 642 00:31:41,291 --> 00:31:42,458 and Stockholm Syndrome? 643 00:31:42,541 --> 00:31:45,750 Oh, Olaf, we're not emotionally distant. You just didn't deserve praise. 644 00:31:45,833 --> 00:31:47,666 [man] We took you in in your darkest hour 645 00:31:47,750 --> 00:31:50,750 because we saw a spark in you bright enough to light a thousand fires. 646 00:31:50,833 --> 00:31:51,666 But look at you now. 647 00:31:51,750 --> 00:31:54,166 [woman] Your obsession with the Baudelaires is a disgrace. 648 00:31:54,250 --> 00:31:57,125 It has led to your defeat and humiliation. 649 00:31:57,208 --> 00:31:59,916 But that's all in the past. The Baudelaires are dead to me. 650 00:32:00,458 --> 00:32:01,583 Not all of them. 651 00:32:04,708 --> 00:32:07,500 But if I kill the baby, then I'll never get the Baudelaire fortune. 652 00:32:07,583 --> 00:32:08,625 [Bearded man] Precisely. 653 00:32:08,708 --> 00:32:10,708 You think you deserve our respect? 654 00:32:10,791 --> 00:32:11,708 Our love? 655 00:32:12,291 --> 00:32:14,708 Then do something for once in your pathetic life! 656 00:32:14,791 --> 00:32:17,833 Throw Sunny Baudelaire off that cliff! 657 00:32:19,125 --> 00:32:19,958 [sniffs] 658 00:32:21,416 --> 00:32:22,250 [exhales] 659 00:32:23,416 --> 00:32:24,958 [exhales] 660 00:32:25,041 --> 00:32:28,791 [Bearded man] Be a man and slay that baby, putz. 661 00:32:30,833 --> 00:32:32,916 As we say in the theater... 662 00:32:35,041 --> 00:32:36,000 Toss her. 663 00:32:38,833 --> 00:32:41,583 I gave you an order. Throw that baby off the mountain! 664 00:32:41,666 --> 00:32:43,916 -No! -What do you mean "no"? 665 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,875 -We mean no. -We're done participating in your schemes. 666 00:32:46,958 --> 00:32:49,333 We lost our parents and our home in a fire. 667 00:32:49,416 --> 00:32:51,250 We're starting to think it wasn't a coincidence. 668 00:32:51,333 --> 00:32:52,333 We lost our sister, too. 669 00:32:52,416 --> 00:32:56,083 I don't care about some late-series backstory! 670 00:32:56,166 --> 00:32:58,375 You will obey my order this instant! 671 00:32:58,458 --> 00:33:00,416 -We love you... -And we'd do anything for love. 672 00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:01,875 But we won't do that. 673 00:33:01,958 --> 00:33:02,791 You... 674 00:33:03,291 --> 00:33:06,375 Fine. I don't need those pasty-faced prunes anyway! 675 00:33:07,875 --> 00:33:10,125 You! Dispose of that baby! 676 00:33:10,208 --> 00:33:11,541 It's a slippery slope. 677 00:33:11,625 --> 00:33:14,458 No, it's a frozen waterfall. Now throw the baby off it. 678 00:33:14,541 --> 00:33:15,916 I meant that figuratively. 679 00:33:16,583 --> 00:33:17,666 I need some space. 680 00:33:17,750 --> 00:33:19,541 I'm definitely questioning my life choices. 681 00:33:19,625 --> 00:33:21,583 [muttering] You're quest-- your life choice-- 682 00:33:27,750 --> 00:33:28,791 Be good to Esmé. 683 00:33:41,625 --> 00:33:43,958 You seem to have lost all your underlings. 684 00:33:45,666 --> 00:33:46,750 I don't need them. 685 00:33:46,833 --> 00:33:48,125 I don't need any of them. 686 00:33:48,208 --> 00:33:52,041 I'm an individual practitioner, and I can throw a baby off a mountain on my own! 687 00:33:52,125 --> 00:33:54,416 You're not on your own, boss. You've still got me. 688 00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:58,708 [Hook-Handed Man groans] 689 00:34:02,333 --> 00:34:03,291 No! 690 00:34:04,333 --> 00:34:05,375 My fortune! 691 00:34:08,583 --> 00:34:10,541 At last, after all these years... 692 00:34:10,625 --> 00:34:12,583 We have eliminated the Baudelaires. 693 00:34:12,666 --> 00:34:15,166 I've got some bad news about that. 694 00:34:15,250 --> 00:34:17,708 -My fortune! -The Baudelaires! 695 00:34:17,791 --> 00:34:19,125 [Esmé] And look who else I found. 696 00:34:19,208 --> 00:34:21,833 -That's Quigleforth Quagmire. -Quigley. 697 00:34:21,916 --> 00:34:24,291 I've never been so happy to see you brats alive! 698 00:34:24,375 --> 00:34:25,958 How did you capture them, my pet? 699 00:34:26,041 --> 00:34:28,541 She didn't capture us. We're here to trade her as a hostage. 700 00:34:29,291 --> 00:34:30,291 [sniggering] 701 00:34:34,958 --> 00:34:37,833 Like I've never had to free myself from a chair being hoisted up a mountain. 702 00:34:37,916 --> 00:34:40,666 I was going to use this big knife to force them to carry me up, 703 00:34:40,750 --> 00:34:42,916 but these volunteers just volunteered. 704 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,125 [laughing] 705 00:34:44,208 --> 00:34:45,625 [whispering] They're so stupid. 706 00:34:46,666 --> 00:34:50,041 Well, we may not have a hostage, but we're not leaving without Sunny. 707 00:34:50,125 --> 00:34:51,666 Sunny Baudelaire's dead. 708 00:34:53,250 --> 00:34:55,125 -No! -Oh, yes. My favorite henchperson 709 00:34:55,208 --> 00:34:57,208 just tossed her off that cliff not moments ago. 710 00:34:57,291 --> 00:34:58,250 I'm your favorite? 711 00:34:58,333 --> 00:35:00,166 I'm surprised you didn't see it on the way down. 712 00:35:00,250 --> 00:35:01,833 How could you do that to her? 713 00:35:01,916 --> 00:35:03,791 It was easy. He just picked her up and... 714 00:35:03,875 --> 00:35:06,041 Eeee... 715 00:35:06,125 --> 00:35:07,000 No! 716 00:35:07,083 --> 00:35:11,125 And it all worked out because now I have you! 717 00:35:11,208 --> 00:35:12,708 [laughing] 718 00:35:12,791 --> 00:35:14,291 [Olaf] You made me choose, 719 00:35:14,375 --> 00:35:16,750 and I still got everything I wanted! 720 00:35:16,833 --> 00:35:19,541 Because I am amazing, brainy, 721 00:35:20,125 --> 00:35:23,041 courageous, dashing, enchanting, 722 00:35:23,125 --> 00:35:26,333 famished, gifted, hilarious, 723 00:35:26,416 --> 00:35:29,625 in.. in... in... What's a good word to describe me that starts with an "I"? 724 00:35:29,708 --> 00:35:32,000 Idiot. You disappoint us, Olaf. 725 00:35:32,416 --> 00:35:34,416 -We'll do better with the next recruits. -[chanting] 726 00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:35,500 Here they come now. 727 00:35:35,583 --> 00:35:36,833 [all chanting] ...basic, calm, 728 00:35:36,916 --> 00:35:39,208 darling, emblematic, frisky, grinning, 729 00:35:39,291 --> 00:35:41,208 human, innocent, jumping, kept, 730 00:35:41,291 --> 00:35:44,208 limited, meek, nap-loving, official, pretty... 731 00:35:45,250 --> 00:35:47,000 scheduled, tidy... 732 00:35:47,083 --> 00:35:49,375 -What are all you cakesniffers doing here? -Carmelita! 733 00:35:49,458 --> 00:35:51,208 Hello, little girl. 734 00:35:51,291 --> 00:35:54,000 We're here to help you celebrate False Spring. 735 00:35:54,083 --> 00:35:56,708 Carmelita, they're not here to help you celebrate False Spring. 736 00:35:56,791 --> 00:35:59,708 -They're here to kidnap you! -I'm too adorable to kidnap. 737 00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:00,791 Give me that Springpole! 738 00:36:00,875 --> 00:36:03,166 Please turn around and lead the Snow Scouts some place safe! 739 00:36:03,250 --> 00:36:05,333 Pay no attention to those cry-babies. 740 00:36:05,416 --> 00:36:06,500 Why don't you step closer? 741 00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:08,708 No, Carmelita! 742 00:36:08,791 --> 00:36:11,833 I crown myself False Spring Queen! 743 00:36:13,208 --> 00:36:15,916 [woman] Now, the rest of you children, 744 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:20,000 take a few steps closer and join us in a special celebration. 745 00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:21,125 -No! -It's a trap! 746 00:36:21,208 --> 00:36:22,083 [whistling] 747 00:36:22,166 --> 00:36:23,625 [roaring] 748 00:36:24,208 --> 00:36:25,458 [screeching] 749 00:36:30,291 --> 00:36:31,625 -No! -No! 750 00:36:33,625 --> 00:36:34,791 [screaming] 751 00:36:34,875 --> 00:36:35,708 No! 752 00:36:35,791 --> 00:36:38,000 [screaming continues] 753 00:36:53,708 --> 00:36:55,791 The noble side of the schism may have the carrier crows 754 00:36:55,875 --> 00:36:57,166 and the trained reptiles... 755 00:36:57,250 --> 00:36:58,875 But the eagles work for us, 756 00:36:58,958 --> 00:37:00,750 -and so will those children. -No. 757 00:37:01,916 --> 00:37:03,666 We were prepared to take you back, Olaf. 758 00:37:03,750 --> 00:37:05,541 [man] Instead, we're taking your car. 759 00:37:07,625 --> 00:37:10,083 -How did you steal my keys? -We'll be in touch. 760 00:37:10,166 --> 00:37:12,875 -That would be a first. -I was talking to Ms. Squalor. 761 00:37:12,958 --> 00:37:14,375 [man] We're impressed with your work. 762 00:37:14,458 --> 00:37:16,625 We'll contact you with your next assignment. 763 00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:20,083 My God! Really? Oh, you're so sweet! 764 00:37:20,166 --> 00:37:21,750 - Safe travels! -[car engine starts] 765 00:37:23,541 --> 00:37:25,833 -We have to get out of here. -You're not going anywhere! 766 00:37:25,916 --> 00:37:29,416 I only need to keep one of you alive to get your fortune. 767 00:37:29,708 --> 00:37:31,458 Which one should it be? 768 00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:32,750 You should keep Klaus! 769 00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:35,333 Then you could smash his glasses and watch him bump into things! 770 00:37:35,416 --> 00:37:37,791 What an adorable little girl. Would you like to join us? 771 00:37:37,875 --> 00:37:39,833 We should discuss that first. 772 00:37:40,333 --> 00:37:41,791 Oh! 773 00:37:41,875 --> 00:37:45,166 Hey, cakesniffers, now I have two sets of parents more than you! 774 00:37:45,250 --> 00:37:47,083 Any last words? 775 00:37:53,625 --> 00:37:54,916 [gasping] 776 00:37:59,875 --> 00:38:01,916 [screaming] 777 00:38:08,500 --> 00:38:10,750 After them! 778 00:38:12,666 --> 00:38:14,458 In what, boss? We don't have a car. 779 00:38:15,166 --> 00:38:17,166 [screaming] 780 00:38:24,625 --> 00:38:26,958 You know, I swear she was in that cage, boss. 781 00:38:27,041 --> 00:38:29,125 I will deal with you later. 782 00:38:31,708 --> 00:38:34,250 -I'm glad to have you back, Sunny. -Me too, but we're not safe yet. 783 00:38:41,041 --> 00:38:43,125 Quigley, does your map say where this stream is headed? 784 00:38:43,208 --> 00:38:47,041 Streams run into larger bodies of water, like rivers, and rivers lead into-- 785 00:38:47,625 --> 00:38:48,708 Argh! 786 00:38:49,708 --> 00:38:50,833 -Quigley! -Violet! 787 00:38:52,333 --> 00:38:55,083 Violet! Quigley! 788 00:39:00,958 --> 00:39:04,500 Despite my many years investigating the case of the Baudelaire orphans, 789 00:39:04,583 --> 00:39:06,916 there is still much I do not know. 790 00:39:07,416 --> 00:39:10,833 I do not know if Violet Baudelaire ever visited the Mortmain Mountains 791 00:39:10,916 --> 00:39:12,541 -with Quigley Quagmire again. -Quigley! 792 00:39:12,625 --> 00:39:13,666 Last Safe Place! 793 00:39:14,291 --> 00:39:16,250 I'll find you at the Last Safe Place! 794 00:39:24,416 --> 00:39:27,541 [Lemony] I do not know what happened to the members of Count Olaf's troupe 795 00:39:27,625 --> 00:39:29,458 after they walked away down Mount Fraught. 796 00:39:29,541 --> 00:39:31,833 Maybe we can buy a little farm and grow rutabagas. 797 00:39:31,916 --> 00:39:34,583 I thought we could go to a music hall and pick up sailors. 798 00:39:34,666 --> 00:39:35,916 Where do we go from here? 799 00:39:39,250 --> 00:39:40,541 It's a crossroads. 800 00:39:40,916 --> 00:39:42,875 But there is one thing I do know. 801 00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:45,208 I do know where the Baudelaires went next 802 00:39:45,291 --> 00:39:48,833 as their toboggan rushed down the frozen waters of Stricken Stream. 803 00:39:48,916 --> 00:39:51,708 [cracking, rumbling] 804 00:39:52,833 --> 00:39:56,791 I know this because of the stanza in a long and complicated poem 805 00:39:56,875 --> 00:40:00,625 circled in an old book by a woman who was a fierce volunteer, 806 00:40:00,708 --> 00:40:03,375 a brave mother, and a loyal sibling. 807 00:40:03,458 --> 00:40:05,041 The stanza is this: 808 00:40:07,083 --> 00:40:09,000 That no life lives forever... 809 00:40:13,125 --> 00:40:15,083 That dead men rise up never... 810 00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:19,500 That even the weariest river... 811 00:40:21,208 --> 00:40:23,375 winds somewhere safe to sea. 812 00:40:24,708 --> 00:40:26,708 [panting] 813 00:40:28,916 --> 00:40:30,208 [thunder rumbles] 814 00:40:32,166 --> 00:40:34,166 [cracking] 815 00:40:48,208 --> 00:40:50,208 [rumbling] 816 00:41:03,041 --> 00:41:05,250 I can't thank you enough for driving me back to the city. 817 00:41:05,333 --> 00:41:08,500 No trouble at all. Though when you offered me a ride, I did assume you had a car. 818 00:41:08,583 --> 00:41:10,916 I completely forgot that it fell off that cliff. 819 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,208 Lucky it was only a half day's hike to your taxi. 820 00:41:13,291 --> 00:41:16,083 -It was my brother's taxi. -You'll have to thank him for me. 821 00:41:16,166 --> 00:41:17,166 He's dead. 822 00:41:17,250 --> 00:41:18,250 [splutters] 823 00:41:19,625 --> 00:41:20,500 Granola bar? 824 00:41:20,583 --> 00:41:22,583 -[phone ringing] -Oh... 825 00:41:22,666 --> 00:41:24,000 That's me. 826 00:41:24,583 --> 00:41:26,208 You've had a phone this whole time? 827 00:41:26,291 --> 00:41:27,958 Yes, Mr. Tamerlane? Are you in the office? 828 00:41:28,041 --> 00:41:30,083 No, Mr. Tamerlane. I'm just arriving back in the city. 829 00:41:30,166 --> 00:41:32,666 I don't want to jinx it, but I think I found a wonderful candidate 830 00:41:32,750 --> 00:41:35,041 to fill that vacant administrative assistant position. 831 00:41:35,125 --> 00:41:37,416 No one cares. Get back to work. The whole town's on fire. 832 00:41:37,500 --> 00:41:38,333 A fire, you say? 833 00:41:39,708 --> 00:41:40,875 Multiple fires? 834 00:41:41,333 --> 00:41:42,333 Good heavens, where? 835 00:41:43,916 --> 00:41:44,916 All over the city? 836 00:41:45,958 --> 00:41:47,041 Think of the orphans. 837 00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:48,666 Think of the fortunes. 838 00:41:49,666 --> 00:41:52,875 [Poe] The Department of Orphan Affairs is going to be buzzing, Mr. Tamerlane! 839 00:41:52,958 --> 00:41:54,458 To fighting fire with fire. 840 00:41:54,541 --> 00:41:56,833 And watching the world go up in smoke. 841 00:41:59,083 --> 00:42:01,083 [screeching] 842 00:42:04,458 --> 00:42:06,791 [screaming] 843 00:42:07,458 --> 00:42:09,458 [theme music playing]