1
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,791
That's enough.
Let's withdraw and wait for backup.
2
00:00:20,041 --> 00:00:22,625
{\an8}The year is 50 B.C.
3
00:00:23,666 --> 00:00:26,208
{\an8}Gaul is entirely occupied by the Romans.
4
00:00:26,291 --> 00:00:28,083
{\an8}Well, not entirely.
5
00:00:28,791 --> 00:00:31,666
{\an8}One village of indomitable Gauls
still holds out.
6
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:33,250
{\an8}- Yeah, yeah.
- Indeed.
7
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,625
{\an8}Life's not easy for Roman legionaries
8
00:00:35,708 --> 00:00:39,291
in the camps of Totorum, Aquarium,
Laudanum and Compendium.
9
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:43,500
{\an8}Honestly, Metadata? If we say that,
Caesar will throw us to the lions.
10
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,041
{\an8}But not all of Gaul is occupied.
11
00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:48,666
{\an8}It's fine. Almost all of it is.
12
00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:50,833
{\an8}It's this close to being "all".
13
00:00:50,916 --> 00:00:54,041
{\an8}"All" and "almost all"
are not the same thing.
14
00:00:54,125 --> 00:00:55,833
{\an8}They almost are. Same thing.
15
00:00:55,916 --> 00:00:58,333
{\an8}What do you know? You've never been.
16
00:01:00,166 --> 00:01:02,291
{\an8}I'm sure I'd be better off there.
17
00:01:02,375 --> 00:01:05,875
{\an8}What are you stylus-pushers doing?
We're waiting up there.
18
00:01:05,958 --> 00:01:07,583
{\an8}Julius Caesar has arrived?
19
00:01:07,666 --> 00:01:09,625
{\an8}- He's on his way.
- And my uncle?
20
00:01:09,708 --> 00:01:11,583
Oh, he's here all right.
21
00:01:12,958 --> 00:01:16,458
Okay. Wait for it. How about this one?
22
00:01:16,541 --> 00:01:21,208
What's the difference
between a Gaul and a wild boar?
23
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,000
Huh? No? Nobody?
24
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:28,875
Well, one of them is hairy and goes…
25
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,541
And the other…
26
00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:33,416
is a wild boar.
27
00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:38,208
A wild boar!
28
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,833
No, it's just, you know,
29
00:01:42,916 --> 00:01:46,125
you'd expect me to say
the other one was a Gaul,
30
00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:49,458
because a wild boar is all hairy and goes…
31
00:01:50,166 --> 00:01:51,250
But actually, no.
32
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:52,875
That's the joke.
33
00:01:58,625 --> 00:01:59,750
Hail Caesar.
34
00:02:00,708 --> 00:02:04,083
For your triumph,
we thought about creating…
35
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:06,916
a mosaic.
36
00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:09,291
A mosaic?
37
00:02:09,791 --> 00:02:10,791
That's right.
38
00:02:10,875 --> 00:02:15,041
It's a bold choice,
but rest assured, there's a clear message.
39
00:02:15,125 --> 00:02:17,250
This is it, good versus evil.
40
00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:22,875
Half of your imperial face on one side,
and a smaller Vercingetorix on the right.
41
00:02:23,375 --> 00:02:25,166
What's the core idea?
42
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:28,916
Rome dominating the weak.
The dominator and the dominated.
43
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,708
And no holding back on style.
We're breaking the rules.
44
00:02:32,791 --> 00:02:35,583
No more pastels.
We're going all in on red.
45
00:02:38,583 --> 00:02:40,291
We got great feedback on it.
46
00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:44,291
I asked for a powerful idea,
you come up with a mosaic?
47
00:02:44,375 --> 00:02:46,750
What's this crackpot idea? No.
48
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,250
Okay. Another proposal.
49
00:02:50,916 --> 00:02:56,541
Okay, I know, it's still a mosaic,
but this is your triumph right here.
50
00:02:56,625 --> 00:02:59,041
What's the narrative here?
51
00:02:59,125 --> 00:03:01,000
That all of Gaul is occupied.
52
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,833
Yes, Mummy? What?
53
00:03:05,916 --> 00:03:08,083
"All of Gaul is occupied", no, no.
54
00:03:08,166 --> 00:03:10,708
A village of indomitable Gauls resists…
55
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,625
Mummy, please. We're talking one village.
56
00:03:13,708 --> 00:03:14,958
- "All" is fine.
- Yes.
57
00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:18,041
"Almost all" is this close to "all of it".
58
00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:20,125
Not if one village remains.
59
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,333
- Fastanfurius!
- Yes?
60
00:03:22,416 --> 00:03:26,000
Why are those Gauls still… Gauls?
61
00:03:26,083 --> 00:03:30,333
It's their magic potion.
It gives them superhuman strength.
62
00:03:30,416 --> 00:03:33,083
- It's impossible…
- Impossible is not Roman!
63
00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:38,083
I want them grovelling before me,
surrendering to Rome's power
64
00:03:38,166 --> 00:03:41,666
once and for all, and obeying Roman law.
65
00:03:42,416 --> 00:03:46,083
There might be a way, using Gallic laws.
66
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:52,791
Sorry, O Caesar,
my niece has a habit of talking nonsense.
67
00:03:52,875 --> 00:03:56,333
Shut up, put a toga on.
What's with the barbarian breeches?
68
00:03:56,416 --> 00:03:58,750
I dress how I want!
The year's minus 50.
69
00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:00,458
Fifty years before what?
70
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:04,583
O Caesar, you've surely heard
about the Big Fight?
71
00:04:05,166 --> 00:04:07,833
About the… Yes. Yes, of course.
72
00:04:07,916 --> 00:04:11,208
If a Gallic chief
wants to seize another village,
73
00:04:11,291 --> 00:04:14,083
he challenges the other chief to a fight.
74
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:20,916
The winning chief
becomes chief of both tribes.
75
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,708
So, if a Gallo-Roman chief,
a Gallic chief devoted to Rome,
76
00:04:24,791 --> 00:04:29,583
beats the chief of the indomitable Gauls,
he gets to take over.
77
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:32,875
And the Gauls become Romans!
78
00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:35,708
Gallo-Romans. But, yes, we can say Romans.
79
00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:39,708
Those barbarians won't just be defeated,
but humiliated.
80
00:04:39,791 --> 00:04:41,833
Trapped by their own traditions.
81
00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:47,833
Forget the mosaics!
The Big Fight will celebrate my triumph.
82
00:04:47,916 --> 00:04:49,500
A grand spectacle,
83
00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:54,458
and as the grand finale,
those Gauls will bow down to me!
84
00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:57,958
They'll be under my boot!
85
00:05:02,625 --> 00:05:03,458
I love it.
86
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:07,208
You're in charge
of planning the fight, Bigfarma.
87
00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:09,041
My name's Metadata.
88
00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,750
Pack your bags, you leave tomorrow.
89
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,416
To Gaul? Thank you, Caesar.
90
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,833
Fastanfurius, you help with logistics.
91
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:17,958
He's coming too?
92
00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:20,500
If you fail, I'll throw you to the lions.
93
00:05:21,458 --> 00:05:24,083
"Lions" as in the animal?
94
00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:25,958
With the mane?
95
00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:30,833
Caesar has spoken!
I shall go, I shall see, I shall conquer!
96
00:05:31,958 --> 00:05:34,375
Nice phrase! We'll get it engraved.
97
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:37,708
Then I shall return,
I shall tell you all about it,
98
00:05:38,291 --> 00:05:41,041
and I shall have a bite to eat.
99
00:05:41,916 --> 00:05:43,458
Maybe not that part.
100
00:05:44,375 --> 00:05:50,750
ASTERIX & OBELIX:
THE BIG FIGHT
101
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,916
My dear friends, my dear friends…
102
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:17,708
The Romans haven't bothered us
for 30 days.
103
00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:24,208
Thanks to our druid's magic potion,
we are and we will remain indomitable!
104
00:06:24,291 --> 00:06:26,083
Long live our druid!
105
00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:28,000
Long live Getafix!
106
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,125
Thank you, my friends.
107
00:06:31,083 --> 00:06:32,250
But…
108
00:06:32,333 --> 00:06:35,125
But… we only have one thing to fear,
109
00:06:35,708 --> 00:06:38,375
that the sky will fall on our heads.
110
00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:43,166
So let us give thanks to Toutatis
with this banquet and these offerings.
111
00:06:46,875 --> 00:06:50,541
I composed a serenade for Toutatis,
which is called,
112
00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:52,916
"Toutatis, 'Tis All For You".
113
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,041
Toutatis, 'tis all for…
114
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:03,958
- Asterix.
- Hmm?
115
00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:06,583
Would it be okay if I said,
116
00:07:06,666 --> 00:07:10,666
"This menhir is like our village's unity,
as solid as a menhir"?
117
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:14,458
- Yes. Sounds good.
- Comparing the village to a menhir.
118
00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:15,541
Yeah, nice.
119
00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:18,500
{\an8}- But you do say "menhir" twice.
- I know.
120
00:07:18,583 --> 00:07:21,541
{\an8}- There aren't 1,000 words for "menhir".
- I know.
121
00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:23,416
What if you sang it?
122
00:07:24,541 --> 00:07:25,916
This menhir…
123
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:33,083
Impedimenta, weren't you
and Vitalstatistix going to Lutetia?
124
00:07:33,166 --> 00:07:36,500
We were, but with the Romans
and looking after the hut,
125
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,583
the daily grind held us back.
126
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:39,625
We get it.
127
00:07:39,708 --> 00:07:42,333
But tomorrow, we're finally going.
128
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:44,250
- Right, Piggywiggy?
- Huh?
129
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,333
- We leave tomorrow.
- Yes.
130
00:07:47,708 --> 00:07:49,541
Go easy on the gravy.
131
00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:52,083
What? I'm honouring Toutatis.
132
00:07:52,166 --> 00:07:54,083
In Lutetia, it'll be veg-only.
133
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:57,416
Come on, it's just fat.
It can't do us any harm.
134
00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:00,208
- Offerings, offerings, offerings!
- Yes.
135
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:02,166
Okay, okay.
136
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:06,041
I think I know who this is from.
137
00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:10,666
- A speech.
- Obelix, come on.
138
00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:13,708
- Obelix!
- Go on, give us a speech.
139
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,458
"This menhir", Obelix.
140
00:08:23,541 --> 00:08:26,583
- "This menhir"…
- This menhir…
141
00:08:26,666 --> 00:08:28,583
- Louder.
- We can't hear you.
142
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:44,166
Obelix told me this menhir
is like our village's unity,
143
00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:45,291
solid as a rock!
144
00:08:45,375 --> 00:08:47,333
Yeah!
145
00:08:47,416 --> 00:08:48,333
Well said.
146
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:50,791
- Bravo!
- Bravo.
147
00:08:50,875 --> 00:08:52,291
Thanks, Asterix.
148
00:08:52,916 --> 00:08:54,583
That's what friends are for.
149
00:09:11,166 --> 00:09:12,583
Potus!
150
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:14,500
Yes?
151
00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:17,458
Po-po-tu-tus?
152
00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:20,041
Yes, yes, yes, yes?
153
00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:21,875
Potus?
154
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:23,791
- Huh?
- Potus!
155
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:28,625
What's that?
156
00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:33,375
The reinforcements.
Guys, the reinforcements are here!
157
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,708
Were you just attacked?
158
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:41,208
Oh, no. It's just that last night…
159
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:45,125
we celebrated 30 days of truce
with the Gauls.
160
00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:47,583
We got totally plastered.
161
00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:49,750
About time we showed up then.
162
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:51,125
It was, indeed.
163
00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:53,833
Well, that's fantastic news.
164
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,083
That's the spirit.
165
00:09:56,166 --> 00:09:59,166
I better not take up
any more of your time.
166
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,875
We'll leave you to it. Let's go. Hail.
167
00:10:01,958 --> 00:10:02,833
Hey!
168
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,250
You're not going anywhere.
169
00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,666
Yes, you're taking our place.
170
00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:08,833
- Hail.
- No.
171
00:10:08,916 --> 00:10:11,708
Not "hail".
Get the tents ready for my troops.
172
00:10:11,791 --> 00:10:13,541
You're being commandeered.
173
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:15,416
Commandeered? To do what?
174
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:19,625
To get rid of those Gauls
once and for all.
175
00:10:19,708 --> 00:10:22,750
Operation Big Fight has begun.
176
00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:31,291
Is that a boar squealing?
177
00:10:31,375 --> 00:10:34,291
- Ouch!
- It must be the bard rehearsing a lullaby.
178
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:36,125
No, I'm right here.
179
00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:42,958
We were finally going to Lutetia,
but of course not. Why?
180
00:10:43,041 --> 00:10:46,666
He pigs out and now acts
like the sky's fallen on his head.
181
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:48,541
It's not my head that hurts.
182
00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:50,500
Maybe more like here?
183
00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:53,583
Ouch.
184
00:10:53,666 --> 00:10:55,625
It is in fact the liver.
185
00:10:55,708 --> 00:10:57,750
That part can hurt?
186
00:10:58,583 --> 00:11:02,375
Impedimenta and I did warn you.
You ate too much.
187
00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:04,208
You can eat too much?
188
00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:07,666
- Gimme a potion to heal me.
- Potions can't fix everything.
189
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,083
- Potions can't…?
- Okay, Obelix.
190
00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:12,416
Eat less or get some help.
191
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:18,208
- Getafix already suggested you go see…
- Apothika, Apothika, I know.
192
00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:21,916
Enough about that shrink. I'm doing fine.
193
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,500
- It doesn't even hurt anymore.
- Really?
194
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:25,541
- No.
- Here?
195
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:30,291
Can I try too?
196
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:32,875
No!
197
00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,666
- Obelix, don't touch.
- What?
198
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:35,750
- This.
- No!
199
00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:40,875
Easy, kids. His liver isn't a Roman road.
200
00:11:42,541 --> 00:11:44,708
Dogmatix, come here, my boy.
201
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:45,791
No, no, no.
202
00:11:49,541 --> 00:11:51,500
Okay, fine, drink this.
203
00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:56,000
Thank you.
204
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,250
If you feel better, join me. I'm leaving.
205
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:02,458
Pidiped, you can't go
to Lutetia on your own.
206
00:12:02,541 --> 00:12:05,708
- The roads aren't safe.
- I'll take Getafix's potion.
207
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:07,083
There's none left.
208
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:08,791
Then make some more!
209
00:12:16,958 --> 00:12:22,958
So, the official box could go here.
We can see the village from here.
210
00:12:23,041 --> 00:12:24,125
What filth.
211
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:28,125
- It'd be faster to burn the place down.
- That's not the plan.
212
00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:31,625
Step one,
give the Gauls a chance to surrender.
213
00:12:32,208 --> 00:12:34,291
Can't we skip ahead to step two?
214
00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:38,083
Step two, find a Gallo-Roman chief
to challenge Vitalstatistix.
215
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:39,833
Three, win the Big Fight.
216
00:12:39,916 --> 00:12:43,166
The Gauls become Gallo-Romans
and Caesar is triumphant.
217
00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:50,416
Yeah. Didn't we skip step 2B,
where they don't drink the magic potion?
218
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,375
It's a big part of the problem.
219
00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:58,708
We keep the druid away from the fight.
No druid, no magic potion.
220
00:12:58,791 --> 00:13:00,125
Easy-Caesey.
221
00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:03,875
- Metadata, how far do we clear to?
- Clear all of it.
222
00:13:03,958 --> 00:13:05,875
- Let's get clearing.
- Wait.
223
00:13:05,958 --> 00:13:07,416
Why so many trees?
224
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,041
So, what do we do now then?
225
00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:13,500
We'll do as she said. Keep the druid away.
226
00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:15,500
But for good.
227
00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:19,625
Underground.
Take a few men and go take care of it.
228
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:21,583
- Me?
- Execute!
229
00:13:23,458 --> 00:13:26,208
We'll end up
with two indomitable villages.
230
00:13:26,291 --> 00:13:27,958
Carve my words.
231
00:13:29,916 --> 00:13:30,916
What's that?
232
00:13:31,416 --> 00:13:33,000
That's catfish.
233
00:13:33,666 --> 00:13:36,375
No, sorry, it's sea bream. My bad.
234
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:39,000
Unhygienix, are your fish really fresh?
235
00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,791
I picked them up off the beach last week.
236
00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:45,625
I maintained the lukewarm chain.
Look no further.
237
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:49,500
- But there are flies.
- I won't charge you for them.
238
00:13:49,583 --> 00:13:51,083
Hang on. Getafix?
239
00:13:51,166 --> 00:13:53,958
- Do you sell wild boar?
- No, only fish.
240
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:58,791
- Too bad.
- I'd like to. But it's not the same trade.
241
00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:01,791
- Where are you going?
- To the forest.
242
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:06,000
For magic potion ingredients.
Apparently, it's all I'm good for.
243
00:14:06,083 --> 00:14:08,541
- I'll go with you.
- No, it's fine.
244
00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:11,416
I could do with a little solitude.
245
00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:13,875
Okay, then.
246
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:19,875
I get why Getafix wants to be alone.
Always seeing the same old faces.
247
00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:22,916
Lucky we're surrounded
by Romans, otherwise…
248
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,000
- You'd suffocate?
- Exactly.
249
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,916
Hey! That's great camouflage.
250
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,166
Nicely done.
251
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:33,666
Thanks, I appreciate it.
252
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:35,083
Plus, the acorns.
253
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:36,750
Great idea.
254
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:41,375
Yeah, I thought,
"Oak tree forest, acorns, it makes sense".
255
00:14:41,458 --> 00:14:42,708
Totally. Totally!
256
00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:45,958
Had it been chestnut trees,
I'd have used chestnuts.
257
00:14:46,041 --> 00:14:49,583
- Right.
- But since they are oak trees…
258
00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:51,875
Shut up or they'll spot us!
259
00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:57,416
Come, follow me. In silence.
By Mercury, Mars, Juno, and Jupiter.
260
00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:01,875
Hey, maybe we have too many gods.
261
00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:05,541
True. We should just pick one
and be done with it.
262
00:15:05,625 --> 00:15:07,000
One god for everything?
263
00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:10,291
A god of war, land, sea,
wind, and the harvest?
264
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:11,708
That's a tall order.
265
00:15:11,791 --> 00:15:13,458
Maybe not the harvest then.
266
00:15:14,375 --> 00:15:17,458
We're saying "god",
but it could be a goddess…
267
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:20,041
- Shut up!
- We'll discuss this later.
268
00:15:27,041 --> 00:15:31,625
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Our fishmonger should sell wild boar?
269
00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:35,916
No. I don't like our druid
being alone in the forest.
270
00:15:36,708 --> 00:15:38,500
I'm going. You coming?
271
00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:42,875
Yes. I'll finish this later.
It's not a rush order.
272
00:15:45,916 --> 00:15:49,833
- Why not leave your menhir here?
- For some kid to snatch?
273
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:58,458
None of them ever ask me,
"Getafix, are you tired, want a rest?"
274
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,166
No, of course not.
275
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:04,375
I'm just there to heal everyone,
day and night. Bog-standard.
276
00:16:05,291 --> 00:16:06,416
What a beauty.
277
00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:13,958
Yes. So…
278
00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:19,541
four-leaf clover,
four-leaf clover, four-leaf clover…
279
00:16:19,625 --> 00:16:23,041
Nope, that's a five-toed foot… A foot?
280
00:16:23,125 --> 00:16:24,250
Capture him!
281
00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:32,750
If Unhygienix doesn't want
to sell wild boar, that's his right.
282
00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:35,125
We can't make him. End of story.
283
00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:39,250
But it'd be nice,
for those who don't like fish,
284
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:43,083
to have, I don't know, some kind of place
285
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:47,166
to sell, exchange,
and trade wild boar, for example.
286
00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:49,666
It's just an idea.
287
00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:52,583
So like a fishmonger, there'd be…
288
00:16:52,666 --> 00:16:54,625
- A wildboarmonger.
- Right.
289
00:16:55,166 --> 00:16:56,333
You see?
290
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,875
- For those who don't like fish.
- Yes.
291
00:16:59,958 --> 00:17:03,666
There's a lot of us.
Me, for a start, and Dogmatix.
292
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:08,041
So, you'd be selling
both menhirs and wild boars?
293
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:09,666
I don't know. Maybe.
294
00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:12,333
- Let's consider it at least.
- Let me go!
295
00:17:12,416 --> 00:17:13,458
Let me go!
296
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:16,750
- Let me go, Romans!
- Hold him still!
297
00:17:17,583 --> 00:17:18,958
Ouch! He bit me.
298
00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:21,125
Ouch! He kicked me in the face.
299
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:23,875
Getafix!
300
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,583
The Gauls! Retreat!
301
00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:32,583
I'll make them scatter all right!
302
00:17:32,666 --> 00:17:33,833
No, Obelix, no!
303
00:17:49,708 --> 00:17:53,250
Seriously, Obelix? Bravo.
Really. I'm lost for words.
304
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,208
- Good job.
- I made them scatter.
305
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:59,000
And flattened our druid in the process.
You're a klutz.
306
00:17:59,083 --> 00:17:59,916
A klutz?
307
00:18:00,416 --> 00:18:01,541
A klutz?!
308
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:05,708
Mr. Asterix drops his potion flask
and then calls me a klutz?
309
00:18:06,666 --> 00:18:10,208
Sorry we didn't all fall into it
like Mr. Obelix.
310
00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:14,208
I suppose Mr. Asterix
didn't play a part in that at all!
311
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:16,458
That has nothing to do with…
312
00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:20,583
Let's get him out.
313
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,750
Getafix?
314
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:38,000
- How is it "mission accomplished"?
- I'll keep it short.
315
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:42,458
We found a spot, camouflaged,
waited in position, yada-yada-yadicum.
316
00:18:42,541 --> 00:18:44,375
And who shows up?
317
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,125
The druid!
318
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,958
I shouted, "Capture him!"
319
00:18:49,041 --> 00:18:51,125
Then bim, bam, boom!
320
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:56,416
Branch swipe, stump strike, and bim!
I don't mess around. They know.
321
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,083
Mission accomplished.
We left him for dead.
322
00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:02,125
Dead? I said to keep him away
from the fight.
323
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:03,375
- Who said--
- Me.
324
00:19:04,416 --> 00:19:05,750
But, Uncle, why?
325
00:19:05,833 --> 00:19:10,208
Caesar's orders. Remember?
I handle logistics and you the show.
326
00:19:10,291 --> 00:19:14,375
So I'll handle the druid
and you stick to event planning.
327
00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:15,958
Bravo, Potus.
328
00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:18,166
Thank you.
329
00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:21,708
- There's a good Tutus. Good Tutus.
- Yes.
330
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,208
Furius' little Tutus.
331
00:19:23,291 --> 00:19:25,375
- That's just the way we…
- Yeah.
332
00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:29,333
Now we just have to find
a Gallo-Roman chief for the fight.
333
00:19:29,416 --> 00:19:31,125
I know one not too far.
334
00:19:31,208 --> 00:19:34,416
- Devoted to Rome and mighty as Mars.
- Devoted to Rome?
335
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,750
You won't be disappointed.
336
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:39,083
I want more columns!
337
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:43,291
Cassius Ceramix, O Chief,
don't we have enough columns?
338
00:19:43,375 --> 00:19:44,875
I want more!
339
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:47,208
We have to be more columnized!
340
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,833
I want to create a little Rome.
341
00:19:49,916 --> 00:19:51,416
A little Rome. Okay.
342
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:53,833
We also need names ending in "us".
343
00:19:53,916 --> 00:19:55,833
- Like the Romans.
- "Us" names.
344
00:19:55,916 --> 00:19:58,791
- Great idea, Chief.
- Let's stay a bit Gaulish.
345
00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:01,125
- No!
- I like the new style.
346
00:20:01,208 --> 00:20:05,250
We are Gallo-Romans,
by Jupiter and Toutatis.
347
00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:09,375
Tenmillionclix, from now on,
you'll be known as Tenmillionviews.
348
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,041
What will my name be, Chief?
349
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:15,458
- Let's discuss it later, Sycophantix.
- Okay.
350
00:20:18,958 --> 00:20:23,125
To re-crap: a little Rome,
more columns, names ending in "us".
351
00:20:23,208 --> 00:20:25,041
- And an aqueduct.
- An aqueduct.
352
00:20:25,125 --> 00:20:26,666
- Okay.
- They look Roman.
353
00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:29,833
For the last time,
cut your braids and moustache!
354
00:20:29,916 --> 00:20:31,875
My braids make me look manly.
355
00:20:31,958 --> 00:20:36,291
No moustache would leave me
with a big gap between my nose and…
356
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:38,541
End of discussion.
357
00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:44,875
Hail!
358
00:20:44,958 --> 00:20:47,875
- Welcome, our beloved invaders.
- Hail.
359
00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:51,791
May we also invade your home
for a chat, Cassius Ceramix?
360
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:54,458
Just call me "Cassius", it's less Gaulish.
361
00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:56,333
Of course. Veni, veni.
362
00:20:57,250 --> 00:20:59,750
Now that's our kind of Gaul.
363
00:21:00,708 --> 00:21:03,125
Not much of Gaul left here now.
364
00:21:03,708 --> 00:21:06,958
Had I known,
I'd have organized some games.
365
00:21:10,291 --> 00:21:14,041
It's no Roman wine,
but I like the name, Chatopetrus.
366
00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:17,916
Cassius Ceramix,
are you familiar with the Big Fight?
367
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,583
A silly Gallic tradition, yes. Why?
368
00:21:20,666 --> 00:21:25,166
We want you to fight a Gallic chief
and take over his tribe once you win.
369
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,208
Feel up to it?
370
00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:31,958
Do I feel up to it?
Is that a serious question?
371
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:35,750
I'm the best, by Vulcan! Let me show you.
372
00:22:00,208 --> 00:22:02,208
I'll flatten him like a pancake.
373
00:22:02,291 --> 00:22:05,666
- Who is it? It'll be a massacre.
- Vitalstatistix.
374
00:22:07,041 --> 00:22:12,958
Vitalstatistix? That'll be a massacre.
That potion gives him superhuman strength.
375
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:14,458
Don't worry.
376
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:19,291
- But I am worried! Massively.
- They have no more potion.
377
00:22:20,958 --> 00:22:24,458
- No more magic potion?
- No druid, no potion. It's over.
378
00:22:24,541 --> 00:22:27,583
You'll wipe the floor with Vitalstatistix.
379
00:22:27,666 --> 00:22:32,416
Then you could even challenge other chiefs
and take over their clans.
380
00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:35,625
Every single Gallic clan, if you want.
381
00:22:35,708 --> 00:22:38,750
You'd be like a general, in a way.
382
00:22:41,333 --> 00:22:43,916
General de Gaul.
383
00:22:46,750 --> 00:22:49,458
Getafix's remedy did the trick, Pidiped.
384
00:22:49,541 --> 00:22:53,458
Off we go to Lutetia.
A quick drink and we'll hit the road.
385
00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:57,458
What? You'd rather leave right away?
386
00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:09,333
Yes, I threw the menhir.
387
00:23:09,416 --> 00:23:13,750
Just a light toss.
Don't make a menhir out of a molehill.
388
00:23:13,833 --> 00:23:15,458
Hush, he's waking up.
389
00:23:15,541 --> 00:23:18,458
As I said, menhirs aren't dangerous.
390
00:23:19,041 --> 00:23:20,416
How are you feeling?
391
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:21,875
Very well.
392
00:23:22,375 --> 00:23:23,458
Thanks, ma'am.
393
00:23:24,083 --> 00:23:24,916
"Ma'am"?
394
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,416
It's me, Impedimenta.
395
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,916
Nice to meet you.
396
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:31,666
Hang on. Getafix.
397
00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:33,625
And me?
398
00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:36,958
Do you recognize me? Asterix.
399
00:23:39,916 --> 00:23:41,125
You have a big nose.
400
00:23:41,625 --> 00:23:45,083
By Belenus, our druid has lost his memory.
401
00:23:45,166 --> 00:23:48,333
- And we're out of magic potion.
- Magic potion?
402
00:23:48,416 --> 00:23:50,375
Yes! Remember the recipe?
403
00:23:50,875 --> 00:23:51,708
No.
404
00:23:52,833 --> 00:23:54,291
We can ask him.
405
00:23:54,791 --> 00:23:55,833
Ask who?
406
00:23:56,333 --> 00:23:57,291
Beardix.
407
00:23:59,041 --> 00:24:02,541
- Hello, Beardix.
- Hello!
408
00:24:02,625 --> 00:24:05,250
- How are you, Beardix?
- Hair-raisingly good.
409
00:24:05,333 --> 00:24:09,333
Do you know the recipe
for the magic potion, Beardix?
410
00:24:11,166 --> 00:24:12,083
No.
411
00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:16,166
But I do know the recipe for a good laugh.
412
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:17,750
Okay, go ahead.
413
00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:19,833
Repeat after me.
414
00:24:19,916 --> 00:24:22,958
When I say "beard", you say "ix".
415
00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:24,416
Beard…
416
00:24:25,041 --> 00:24:25,916
Ix.
417
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:27,500
Beard…
418
00:24:27,583 --> 00:24:28,583
He's lost it.
419
00:24:29,083 --> 00:24:30,416
He's totally lost it.
420
00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:32,333
Come on, it's easy!
421
00:24:33,041 --> 00:24:34,000
Beard…
422
00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:35,750
By Toutatis, we're doomed.
423
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:37,500
Ix!
424
00:25:12,291 --> 00:25:14,666
ASTERIX & OBELIX:
THE BIG FIGHT
425
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:46,000
Subtitle translation by:
James Preston