1
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,791
That's enough.
Let's withdraw and wait for backup.
2
00:00:20,041 --> 00:00:22,416
The year is 50 B.C.
3
00:00:23,666 --> 00:00:26,208
All of Gaul is occupied by the Romans.
4
00:00:26,291 --> 00:00:28,083
Well, not all of it.
5
00:00:28,833 --> 00:00:31,666
{\an8}A village of indomitable Gauls
still resists.
6
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:33,291
{\an8}- Yeah, yeah.
- Yes, indeed.
7
00:00:33,375 --> 00:00:35,625
{\an8}Life isn't easy for the Roman soldiers
8
00:00:35,708 --> 00:00:37,166
{\an8}in the camps of Butterdrum,
9
00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,291
{\an8}Aquarium, Laudanum, and Lilchum.
10
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:40,791
{\an8}Honestly, Metadata?
11
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:43,416
{\an8}If we say that,
Caesar will throw us to the lions.
12
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:46,041
{\an8}But not all of Gaul is occupied.
13
00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:48,666
{\an8}It's fine. Almost all of it is.
14
00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:50,833
{\an8}It's this close to being "all."
15
00:00:50,916 --> 00:00:54,166
{\an8}"All" and "almost all"
are not the same thing.
16
00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:56,000
{\an8}They almost are. Same thing.
17
00:00:56,083 --> 00:00:58,333
{\an8}What do you know? You've never been there.
18
00:01:00,166 --> 00:01:02,291
{\an8}I'm sure I'd be better off there.
19
00:01:02,375 --> 00:01:04,458
{\an8}Hey, stylus-pushers! What's going on?
20
00:01:04,541 --> 00:01:05,833
{\an8}We're waiting for you.
21
00:01:05,916 --> 00:01:07,583
{\an8}Julius Caesar has arrived?
22
00:01:07,666 --> 00:01:09,625
{\an8}- He's on his way.
- And my uncle?
23
00:01:09,708 --> 00:01:11,375
Oh, he's here all right.
24
00:01:12,958 --> 00:01:16,458
Okay. Wait for it. How about this one?
25
00:01:16,541 --> 00:01:21,208
What's the difference
between a Gaul and a wild boar?
26
00:01:23,916 --> 00:01:26,000
No? Nobody?
27
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:28,583
Well, one of them is hairy and goes…
28
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,458
And the other…
29
00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:33,416
is a wild boar!
30
00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:38,208
A wild boar!
31
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,833
No, it's just, you know,
32
00:01:42,916 --> 00:01:46,125
you'd expect me to say
the other one was a Gaul,
33
00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:49,041
because a wild boar is all hairy and goes…
34
00:01:50,166 --> 00:01:51,250
But actually, no.
35
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:52,875
That's the joke!
36
00:01:58,625 --> 00:01:59,750
Hail Caesar!
37
00:02:00,791 --> 00:02:04,083
So, for your triumph,
we thought about creating…
38
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:06,916
a mosaic!
39
00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:09,291
A mosaic?
40
00:02:09,791 --> 00:02:10,791
That's right.
41
00:02:10,875 --> 00:02:15,041
It's a bold choice,
but rest assured, there's a clear message.
42
00:02:15,125 --> 00:02:17,250
And this is it, good versus evil.
43
00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:20,125
Half of your imperial face on one side
44
00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,791
and a smaller Vercingetorix on the right.
45
00:02:23,375 --> 00:02:25,166
So what's the core idea?
46
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:28,916
Rome dominating the weak.
The dominator and the dominated.
47
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,708
And no holding back on style.
We're breaking the rules.
48
00:02:32,791 --> 00:02:35,583
No more pastels.
We're going all in on red.
49
00:02:38,583 --> 00:02:40,291
We got great feedback on it.
50
00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:44,291
I asked for a powerful idea,
and you come up with a mosaic?
51
00:02:44,375 --> 00:02:46,250
What is this crackpot idea?
52
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,166
No.
53
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,250
Okay. Another proposal.
54
00:02:50,916 --> 00:02:54,416
Okay, I know, it's still a mosaic.
55
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,541
But this is your triumph right here.
56
00:02:56,625 --> 00:02:59,041
What's the narrative here?
57
00:02:59,125 --> 00:03:00,875
That all of Gaul is occupied.
58
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,833
Yes, Mom? What?
59
00:03:05,916 --> 00:03:08,208
"All of Gaul is occupied," no, no.
60
00:03:08,291 --> 00:03:10,708
A village of indomitable Gauls resists--
61
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,375
Mom, please. We're talking one village.
62
00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:14,958
- "All" is fine.
- Yes.
63
00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:18,041
"Almost all" is this close to "all of it."
64
00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:19,958
Not if one village remains.
65
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,333
- Fastanfurius!
- Yes?
66
00:03:22,416 --> 00:03:26,000
Why are those Gauls still… Gauls?
67
00:03:26,083 --> 00:03:30,333
It's their magic potion.
It gives them superhuman strength.
68
00:03:30,416 --> 00:03:33,083
- It's impossible--
- Impossible is not Roman!
69
00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:35,583
I want them groveling before me,
70
00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:38,916
surrendering to Rome's power
once and for all,
71
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,666
and obeying Roman law!
72
00:03:42,416 --> 00:03:43,833
That may be possible,
73
00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,083
using Gallic laws.
74
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,208
Sorry, O Caesar,
75
00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:52,791
my niece has a habit of talking nonsense.
76
00:03:52,875 --> 00:03:56,625
Shut up, put a toga on.
What's with the barbarian breeches?
77
00:03:56,708 --> 00:03:58,750
I dress how I want! The year's minus 50.
78
00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:00,458
Fifty years before what?
79
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:04,583
O Caesar, you've surely heard
about the Big Fight?
80
00:04:05,166 --> 00:04:07,833
About the… Yes, of course.
81
00:04:07,916 --> 00:04:11,208
If a Gallic chief
wants to seize another village,
82
00:04:11,291 --> 00:04:13,916
he challenges the other chief to a fight.
83
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:20,916
The winning chief
becomes chief of both tribes.
84
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,791
So, if a Gallo-Roman chief,
a Gallic chief devoted to Rome,
85
00:04:24,875 --> 00:04:26,958
beats the indomitable Gauls' chief,
86
00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:29,500
he gets to take over.
87
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:32,875
And the Gauls become Romans!
88
00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:35,708
Gallo-Romans. But yes, we can say Romans.
89
00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:38,166
Not only
will those barbarians be defeated,
90
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:41,833
but also humiliated,
trapped by their own traditions.
91
00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:44,000
Forget the mosaics!
92
00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:47,833
The Big Fight will celebrate my triumph!
93
00:04:47,916 --> 00:04:49,500
A grand spectacle,
94
00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:54,458
with those Gauls bowing down to me
as the grand finale!
95
00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:57,958
They'll be under my boot!
96
00:05:02,625 --> 00:05:03,458
I love it.
97
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:07,125
You're in charge
of planning the fight, Bigfarma.
98
00:05:07,208 --> 00:05:09,041
My name's Metadata.
99
00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,750
Pack your bags, you leave tomorrow.
100
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,416
I'm going to Gaul? Thank you, Caesar.
101
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,833
Fastanfurius, you'll help with logistics.
102
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:17,958
He's coming too?
103
00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:20,500
If you fail, I'll throw you to the lions!
104
00:05:21,458 --> 00:05:24,083
"Lions" as in the animal?
105
00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:25,958
With the mane?
106
00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:27,416
Caesar has spoken!
107
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,833
I shall go, I shall see, I shall conquer!
108
00:05:31,958 --> 00:05:34,375
Nice phrase! We'll get it engraved.
109
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:36,333
Then I shall return,
110
00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:38,208
I shall tell you all about it,
111
00:05:38,291 --> 00:05:41,041
and I shall have a bite to eat.
112
00:05:41,916 --> 00:05:43,458
Maybe not that part.
113
00:05:44,375 --> 00:05:50,750
ASTERIX & OBELIX:
THE BIG FIGHT
114
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,000
My dear friends!
115
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:17,708
The Romans haven't bothered us
for 30 days.
116
00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:20,291
Thanks to our druid's magic potion,
117
00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:24,208
we are and we will remain indomitable!
118
00:06:24,291 --> 00:06:26,083
Long live our druid!
119
00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:28,000
Long live Panoramix!
120
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,125
Thank you, my friends.
121
00:06:31,083 --> 00:06:33,083
But…
122
00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:35,708
We only have one thing to fear,
123
00:06:35,791 --> 00:06:38,375
that the sky will fall on our heads.
124
00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:41,833
So let us give thanks to Toutatis
with this banquet
125
00:06:41,916 --> 00:06:43,125
and these offerings!
126
00:06:46,875 --> 00:06:50,541
I composed a serenade for Toutatis,
which is called,
127
00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:52,916
"Toutatis, 'tis all for you."
128
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,041
Toutatis, 'tis all for--
129
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:03,958
- Asterix.
- Yes?
130
00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:06,583
Would it be okay if I said,
131
00:07:06,666 --> 00:07:09,041
"This menhir is like our village's unity,
132
00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:10,666
as solid as a menhir."
133
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:11,791
Yes. Sounds good.
134
00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:14,458
Comparing the village to a menhir.
135
00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:15,541
Yeah, nice.
136
00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:18,166
- But you do say "menhir" twice.
- I know.
137
00:07:18,666 --> 00:07:21,541
- There aren't 1,000 words for "menhir."
- I know.
138
00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:23,416
What if you sang it?
139
00:07:24,541 --> 00:07:25,916
This menhir--
140
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:29,750
Impedimenta.
141
00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:33,083
Weren't you and Vitalstatistix
planning to go to Lutetia?
142
00:07:33,166 --> 00:07:36,500
We were, but with the Romans
and looking after the hut,
143
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,583
the daily grind held us back.
144
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:39,625
We know.
145
00:07:39,708 --> 00:07:42,333
But tomorrow, we're finally going.
146
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:43,500
Right, Piggywiggy?
147
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,333
- We leave tomorrow.
- Oh, yes.
148
00:07:48,458 --> 00:07:50,750
- Go easy on the sauce.
- What?
149
00:07:50,833 --> 00:07:52,208
I'm honoring Toutatis.
150
00:07:52,291 --> 00:07:54,083
In Lutetia, it'll be veg-only.
151
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:57,416
Come on, it's just fat.
It can't do us any harm.
152
00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:00,208
Offerings, offerings, offerings!
153
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:02,166
Okay.
154
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:05,791
I think I know who this is from.
155
00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:13,708
- Give us a speech, Obelix!
- Go on, give us a speech!
156
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,458
"This menhir," Obelix.
157
00:08:23,541 --> 00:08:26,583
- "This menhir…"
- This menhir…
158
00:08:26,666 --> 00:08:28,583
Louder! We can't hear you!
159
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:44,166
Obelix told me this menhir
is like our village's unity,
160
00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:45,291
as solid as a rock!
161
00:08:45,375 --> 00:08:47,333
Yeah!
162
00:08:47,416 --> 00:08:48,333
Well said!
163
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:50,791
Bravo!
164
00:08:50,875 --> 00:08:52,291
Thanks, Asterix.
165
00:08:52,958 --> 00:08:54,583
That's what friends are for.
166
00:09:11,166 --> 00:09:12,583
Potus!
167
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:14,500
Yes?
168
00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:17,458
Po-po-tu-tus?
169
00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:20,041
Yes, yes, yes, yes?
170
00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:21,875
Potus?
171
00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:24,750
Potus!
172
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:28,625
What's that?
173
00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:30,916
The relief troops.
174
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,375
The relief troops are here!
175
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,541
Were you just attacked?
176
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:39,416
Oh, no.
177
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:41,041
It's just that last night…
178
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:44,916
we celebrated 30 days of truce
with the Gauls.
179
00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:47,583
We got totally plastered.
180
00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:49,750
About time we showed up, then.
181
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:51,125
It is, indeed.
182
00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:53,833
Well, that's fantastic news.
183
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,083
That's the spirit.
184
00:09:56,166 --> 00:09:59,166
Well, I better not take up
any more of your time.
185
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,875
We'll leave you to it. Let's go. Hail!
186
00:10:01,958 --> 00:10:02,833
Hey!
187
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,250
You're not going anywhere.
188
00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,666
Yes, you're taking our place.
189
00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:08,833
- Hail!
- No.
190
00:10:08,916 --> 00:10:11,708
Not "hail."
Get the tents ready for my troops.
191
00:10:11,791 --> 00:10:13,541
You're being commandeered.
192
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:15,416
Commandeered? To do what?
193
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:19,625
To get rid of those Gauls
once and for all.
194
00:10:19,708 --> 00:10:22,750
Operation Big Fight has begun.
195
00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:31,916
- Is that a boar squealing?
- Ouch!
196
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,291
It must be the bard rehearsing a lullaby.
197
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:36,125
No, I'm right here.
198
00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:42,958
We were finally going to Lutetia,
and what does he do the night before?
199
00:10:43,041 --> 00:10:46,333
He pigs out and now acts
like the sky's fallen on his head.
200
00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:48,541
It's not my head that hurts.
201
00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:50,500
Maybe more like here?
202
00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:53,583
Ouch!
203
00:10:53,666 --> 00:10:55,625
Yes, it is in fact the liver.
204
00:10:55,708 --> 00:10:57,750
Who knew that could hurt?
205
00:10:58,583 --> 00:11:01,208
Impedimenta and I warned you,
but you didn't listen.
206
00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:02,375
You ate too much.
207
00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:04,208
Who knew you could eat too much?
208
00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:07,666
- Give me a potion to heal me.
- Potions can't fix everything.
209
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,083
- Who knew potions--
- Okay, Obelix.
210
00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:14,208
Eat less or get some help.
Panoramix already suggested you go see--
211
00:11:14,291 --> 00:11:18,208
Apothika, Apothika, I know.
212
00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:21,916
Enough about that shrink.
I'm doing just fine.
213
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,500
- It doesn't even hurt anymore.
- Really?
214
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:25,541
- Not at all.
- Here?
215
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:30,291
Can I try too?
216
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:32,875
No!
217
00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,666
- Obelix, don't touch.
- Touch what?
218
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:35,750
- This.
- Oh, no.
219
00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:40,666
Easy, kids. His liver isn't a Roman road.
220
00:11:42,708 --> 00:11:44,708
Dogmatix, come here, my boy.
221
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:45,791
No!
222
00:11:49,541 --> 00:11:51,500
Okay, fine, drink this.
223
00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:56,000
Thank you.
224
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,250
Okay, if you feel better,
join me, but I'm leaving.
225
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:02,500
But, Peddy,
you can't go to Lutetia on your own.
226
00:12:02,583 --> 00:12:05,708
- The roads aren't safe.
- I'll take Panoramix's potion.
227
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:07,083
There's none left.
228
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:08,791
Make some more then!
229
00:12:16,958 --> 00:12:20,458
So, the official box could go here.
230
00:12:21,083 --> 00:12:22,958
We can see the village from here.
231
00:12:23,041 --> 00:12:24,125
What filth.
232
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:26,625
I'd burn the whole place down if I could.
233
00:12:26,708 --> 00:12:28,125
But that's not the plan.
234
00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:31,625
So, step one,
give the Gauls a chance to surrender.
235
00:12:32,208 --> 00:12:34,291
Can't we skip ahead to step two?
236
00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:38,125
Step two, find a Gallo-Roman chief
to challenge Vitalstatistix.
237
00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:41,458
And three, win the Big Fight,
the Gauls become Gallo-Romans,
238
00:12:41,541 --> 00:12:43,041
and Caesar is triumphant.
239
00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:46,041
Yeah.
240
00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:50,458
Didn't we skip step two-B,
where they don't drink the magic potion?
241
00:12:50,541 --> 00:12:52,375
It's a major issue for us.
242
00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:56,958
We keep the druid away from the fight.
243
00:12:57,041 --> 00:12:58,708
No druid, no magic potion.
244
00:12:58,791 --> 00:13:00,125
Easy-Caesey.
245
00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:03,875
- Metadata, how much of it do we clear?
- Clear all of it.
246
00:13:03,958 --> 00:13:05,875
- Let's get clearing.
- Wait.
247
00:13:05,958 --> 00:13:07,416
Why so many trees?
248
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,041
So, what do we do now then?
249
00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:11,708
We'll do as she said.
250
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,500
Keep the druid away.
251
00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:15,500
But for good.
252
00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:17,000
Underground.
253
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:19,625
Take a few men and go take care of it.
254
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:21,583
- Me?
- Execute!
255
00:13:23,458 --> 00:13:26,208
We'll end up with
two indomitable villages.
256
00:13:26,291 --> 00:13:27,625
Carve my words.
257
00:13:29,916 --> 00:13:30,916
What's that?
258
00:13:31,416 --> 00:13:33,000
That's catfish.
259
00:13:33,666 --> 00:13:36,375
Oh, no, sorry, it's sea bream. My bad.
260
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:39,000
Unhygienix, are your fish really fresh?
261
00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,791
I picked them up off the beach last week.
262
00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:43,791
I maintained the lukewarm chain.
263
00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:45,375
Look no further.
264
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:49,500
- But there are flies.
- I won't charge you for them.
265
00:13:49,583 --> 00:13:51,083
Hang on. Panoramix?
266
00:13:51,166 --> 00:13:53,958
- Do you sell wild boar?
- No, only fish.
267
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:58,791
- Too bad.
- I'd like to, but it's not the same trade.
268
00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:01,791
- Where are you going?
- To the forest.
269
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,791
For magic potion ingredients,
270
00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:05,958
since that's all I'm good for.
271
00:14:06,041 --> 00:14:08,541
- I'll go with you.
- No, it's fine. Thanks.
272
00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:11,333
I could do with a little solitude.
273
00:14:12,875 --> 00:14:13,875
Okay, then.
274
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:17,125
I get why Panoramix wants to be alone.
275
00:14:17,708 --> 00:14:19,875
Always seeing the same old faces.
276
00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:22,833
Lucky we're surrounded
by Romans, otherwise…
277
00:14:22,916 --> 00:14:24,708
- You'd suffocate?
- Exactly.
278
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,916
Hey! That's great camouflage.
279
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,333
Nicely done.
280
00:14:31,416 --> 00:14:33,750
Thanks, I appreciate it.
281
00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:34,916
Plus, the acorns.
282
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:36,750
Great idea.
283
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:41,375
Yeah, I thought,
"Oak tree forest, acorns, it makes sense."
284
00:14:41,458 --> 00:14:42,708
Totally, totally.
285
00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:45,958
Had it been chestnut trees,
I'd have used chestnuts.
286
00:14:46,041 --> 00:14:49,583
- Right.
- But since they are oak trees--
287
00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:51,750
Shut up or they'll spot us!
288
00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:53,625
Come, follow me.
289
00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:57,166
In silence.
By Mercury, Mars, Juno, and Jupiter.
290
00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:01,500
Hey, maybe we have too many gods.
291
00:15:02,041 --> 00:15:05,541
True. We should just pick one
and be done with it.
292
00:15:05,625 --> 00:15:07,000
One god for everything?
293
00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:10,291
A god of war,
land, sea, wind, and the harvest?
294
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:11,708
That's a tall order.
295
00:15:11,791 --> 00:15:13,416
Maybe not the harvest, then.
296
00:15:14,375 --> 00:15:17,458
We're saying "god,"
but it could be a goddess--
297
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:20,041
- Shut up!
- We'll discuss this later.
298
00:15:27,041 --> 00:15:31,625
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Our fishmonger should sell wild boar?
299
00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:32,583
No.
300
00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:35,916
I don't like our druid
being alone in the forest.
301
00:15:36,708 --> 00:15:38,291
I'm going. You coming?
302
00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:40,541
Well, yes.
303
00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:42,875
I'll finish this non-rush order later.
304
00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:48,041
Why not leave your menhir here?
305
00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:49,750
For some kid to snatch?
306
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:55,458
None of them ever ask me,
307
00:15:55,541 --> 00:15:58,458
"Panoramix, are you tired, want a rest?"
308
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,166
No, of course not.
309
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:03,416
I'm just there to heal everyone,
day and night.
310
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:04,333
As expected.
311
00:16:05,291 --> 00:16:06,416
What a beauty.
312
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:14,166
So,
313
00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:19,541
four-leaf clover,
four-leaf clover, four-leaf clover…
314
00:16:19,625 --> 00:16:21,500
Nope, that's a five-toed foot.
315
00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:23,041
A foot?
316
00:16:23,125 --> 00:16:24,291
Capture him!
317
00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:32,750
Okay, if Unhygienix doesn't want
to sell wild boar, that's his right.
318
00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:35,125
We can't make him. End of story.
319
00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:39,041
But it would be nice
for the villagers who don't like fish
320
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:44,875
to have, I don't know,
some kind of place to sell, exchange,
321
00:16:44,958 --> 00:16:47,166
and trade wild boar, for example.
322
00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:49,666
It's just an idea.
323
00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:52,583
Right, so just like a fishmonger,
there'd be…
324
00:16:52,666 --> 00:16:54,583
- A wildboarmonger.
- Okay, right.
325
00:16:55,166 --> 00:16:56,333
You see? Yep.
326
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,875
- For those who don't like fish.
- Yes.
327
00:16:59,958 --> 00:17:01,416
There's a lot of us.
328
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:02,750
Me, for a start.
329
00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:03,666
And Dogmatix.
330
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:08,041
So, you'd be selling
both menhirs and wild boars?
331
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:09,666
I don't know. Maybe.
332
00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:12,333
- Let's consider it at least.
- Let me go!
333
00:17:12,416 --> 00:17:13,333
Let me go!
334
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:16,750
- Let me go, Romans!
- Hold him still!
335
00:17:17,583 --> 00:17:18,958
Ouch! He bit me!
336
00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:21,125
Ouch! He kicked me in the face!
337
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:23,875
Panoramix!
338
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,583
The Gauls! Retreat!
339
00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:32,500
I'll make them scatter all right!
340
00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:33,458
No, Obelix!
341
00:17:49,708 --> 00:17:50,791
Really, Obelix?
342
00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:53,291
Well done! Really. I'm lost for words.
343
00:17:53,375 --> 00:17:55,208
- Good job.
- I made them scatter.
344
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,708
And flattened our druid in the process.
345
00:17:57,791 --> 00:17:59,000
You're a klutz.
346
00:17:59,083 --> 00:17:59,916
A klutz?
347
00:18:00,416 --> 00:18:01,541
A klutz?!
348
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:05,708
So Mr. Asterix drops his potion flask
and then calls me a klutz?
349
00:18:06,666 --> 00:18:10,208
Well, sorry we didn't all fall into it
like Mr. Obelix.
350
00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:14,208
I suppose Mr. Asterix
didn't play a part in that at all.
351
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:16,208
That has nothing to do with--
352
00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:20,583
Let's get him out.
353
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,750
Panoramix?
354
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:35,708
How is it mission accomplished?
355
00:18:35,791 --> 00:18:38,000
Well, I'll cut a long story short.
356
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:42,458
We found a spot, camouflaged ourselves,
waited in position, yada-yada-yadicum.
357
00:18:42,541 --> 00:18:44,375
And who shows up?
358
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,125
The druid!
359
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,958
I shouted, "Capture him!"
360
00:18:49,041 --> 00:18:51,125
Then bim, bam, boom!
361
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:53,458
Branch swipe, stump strike, and bim!
362
00:18:53,541 --> 00:18:56,416
I don't mess around.
Ask them. They know me.
363
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,083
Anyway, mission accomplished.
We left him for dead.
364
00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:02,125
Dead? I said to keep him away
from the fight.
365
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:03,375
- Who said to--
- Me.
366
00:19:04,416 --> 00:19:05,750
But, Uncle, why?
367
00:19:05,833 --> 00:19:07,750
Caesar's orders. Remember?
368
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:10,208
I handle logistics and you, the show.
369
00:19:10,291 --> 00:19:11,916
So, I'll handle the druid,
370
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,083
and you stick to event planning.
371
00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:15,958
Bravo, Potus.
372
00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:18,166
Thank you.
373
00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:19,750
There's a good Tutus.
374
00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:21,708
- Good Tutus.
- Yes.
375
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,208
Furius' little Tutus.
376
00:19:23,291 --> 00:19:25,375
- That's just the way we--
- Yeah.
377
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:29,333
Now we just have to find
a Gallo-Roman chief for the fight.
378
00:19:29,416 --> 00:19:31,166
I know one not too far.
379
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:34,416
- Devoted to Rome and mighty as Mars.
- Devoted to Rome?
380
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,750
You won't be disappointed.
381
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:39,083
I want more columns!
382
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:41,375
Cassius Ceramix, O Chief,
383
00:19:41,458 --> 00:19:43,291
don't we have enough columns?
384
00:19:43,375 --> 00:19:44,875
I want more!
385
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:47,208
We have to be more colonized!
386
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,833
I want to create a little Rome.
387
00:19:49,916 --> 00:19:51,416
A little Rome. Okay.
388
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:53,833
We also need names ending in "us."
389
00:19:53,916 --> 00:19:55,833
- Like the Romans.
- "Us" names.
390
00:19:55,916 --> 00:19:58,791
- Great idea, Chief.
- Let's keep some Gaulish identity.
391
00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:01,125
- No!
- Well, I like the new style.
392
00:20:01,208 --> 00:20:05,250
We are Gallo-Romans,
by Jupiter and Toutatis.
393
00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:09,291
So, Tenmillionclix, from now on,
you'll be known as Tenmillionviews.
394
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,791
And what will my name be, Chief?
395
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:15,250
- Let's discuss it later, Sycophantix.
- Okay.
396
00:20:19,125 --> 00:20:23,125
So, to re-crap, a little Rome,
more columns, and names ending in "us."
397
00:20:23,208 --> 00:20:25,041
- And an aqueduct.
- An aqueduct.
398
00:20:25,125 --> 00:20:26,666
- Okay.
- They look Roman.
399
00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:29,791
And for the last time,
cut your braids and mustache!
400
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:31,875
But I won't be manly without my braids.
401
00:20:31,958 --> 00:20:36,291
And without a mustache,
I'd have a big gap between my nose and--
402
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:38,541
End of discussion.
403
00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:44,875
Hail!
404
00:20:44,958 --> 00:20:47,083
Welcome, our beloved invaders.
405
00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:48,291
Hail.
406
00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:51,791
May we also invade your home
for a chat, Cassius Ceramix?
407
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:54,458
Just call me "Cassius." It's less Gaul.
408
00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:56,333
Of course. Veni, veni.
409
00:20:57,250 --> 00:20:59,625
Now that's our kind of Gaul.
410
00:21:00,708 --> 00:21:02,708
Not much of Gaul left here now.
411
00:21:03,708 --> 00:21:06,583
Had I known,
I'd have organized some games.
412
00:21:10,291 --> 00:21:13,000
It's no Roman wine, but I like the name,
413
00:21:13,083 --> 00:21:14,041
Chatopetrus.
414
00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:17,500
Cassius Ceramix,
are you familiar with the Big Fight?
415
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,541
A silly Gallic tradition.
416
00:21:19,625 --> 00:21:20,583
Yes, why?
417
00:21:20,666 --> 00:21:25,166
We want you to fight a Gallic chief
and take over his tribe once you win.
418
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,208
Feel up to it?
419
00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:29,291
Do I feel up to it?
420
00:21:29,791 --> 00:21:31,958
Is that a serious question?
421
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:34,583
I'm the best, by Vulcan!
422
00:21:34,666 --> 00:21:35,750
Let me show you.
423
00:22:00,208 --> 00:22:02,208
I'll flatten him like a pancake.
424
00:22:02,291 --> 00:22:05,666
- So who is it? It'll be a massacre.
- Vitalstatistix.
425
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:08,708
Vitalstatistix?
426
00:22:08,791 --> 00:22:12,958
But that'll be a massacre.
That potion gives him superhuman strength.
427
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:14,458
Don't worry.
428
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:17,375
I am worried. Massively.
429
00:22:17,458 --> 00:22:19,291
They have no more potion.
430
00:22:20,958 --> 00:22:22,083
No more magic potion?
431
00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:24,458
No druid, no potion. It's over.
432
00:22:24,541 --> 00:22:27,583
You'll wipe the floor with Vitalstatistix.
433
00:22:27,666 --> 00:22:32,416
Then you could even challenge other chiefs
and take over their clans.
434
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,625
Every single Gallic clan, if you want.
435
00:22:35,708 --> 00:22:38,625
You'd be like a general, in a way.
436
00:22:41,333 --> 00:22:43,916
General de Gaul.
437
00:22:46,750 --> 00:22:49,458
Panoramix's remedy did the trick, Peddy.
438
00:22:49,541 --> 00:22:53,250
Off we go to Lutetia.
A quick drink and we'll hit the road.
439
00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:57,458
What? You'd rather leave right away?
440
00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:09,333
Yes, I threw the menhir.
441
00:23:09,416 --> 00:23:13,375
But just a light toss.
Don't make a dolmen out of a molehill.
442
00:23:13,958 --> 00:23:15,541
Hush, he's waking up.
443
00:23:15,625 --> 00:23:18,458
See, as I was saying,
menhirs aren't dangerous.
444
00:23:19,041 --> 00:23:20,416
How are you feeling?
445
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:21,875
Very well.
446
00:23:22,375 --> 00:23:23,375
Thanks, ma'am.
447
00:23:24,083 --> 00:23:24,916
"Ma'am"?
448
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,416
It's me, Impedimenta.
449
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,916
Nice to meet you.
450
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:31,666
Hang on. Panoramix.
451
00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:33,625
And me?
452
00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:35,625
Do you recognize me?
453
00:23:36,125 --> 00:23:36,958
Asterix.
454
00:23:39,958 --> 00:23:41,125
You have a big nose.
455
00:23:41,625 --> 00:23:42,958
By Belenus,
456
00:23:43,041 --> 00:23:45,000
our druid has lost his memory.
457
00:23:45,666 --> 00:23:48,291
- And we're out of magic potion.
- Magic potion?
458
00:23:48,375 --> 00:23:50,208
Yes! Remember the recipe?
459
00:23:50,875 --> 00:23:51,708
No.
460
00:23:52,833 --> 00:23:54,291
But we can ask him.
461
00:23:54,791 --> 00:23:55,833
Ask who?
462
00:23:56,333 --> 00:23:57,291
Beardix.
463
00:23:59,041 --> 00:24:02,541
- Hello, Beardix.
- Hello!
464
00:24:02,625 --> 00:24:03,958
How are you, Beardix?
465
00:24:04,041 --> 00:24:05,250
Hair-raisingly good.
466
00:24:05,333 --> 00:24:09,333
Do you know the recipe
for the magic potion, Beardix?
467
00:24:11,166 --> 00:24:12,083
No.
468
00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:16,166
But I do know the recipe for a good laugh.
469
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:17,750
Okay, go ahead.
470
00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:19,833
Repeat after me.
471
00:24:19,916 --> 00:24:22,958
When I say "beard," you say "ix."
472
00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:24,416
Beard…
473
00:24:25,041 --> 00:24:25,916
Ix.
474
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:27,500
Beard…
475
00:24:27,583 --> 00:24:28,583
He's lost it.
476
00:24:29,083 --> 00:24:30,416
He's totally lost it.
477
00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:32,458
Come on, it's easy!
478
00:24:32,541 --> 00:24:34,000
Beard…
479
00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:35,625
By Toutatis, we're doomed.
480
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:37,833
Ix!
481
00:25:12,291 --> 00:25:14,791
ASTERIX & OBELIX:
THE BIG FIGHT
482
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:46,000
Subtitle translation by: James Preston