1
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,791
I've had it.
We'll retreat and wait for relief troops.

2
00:00:20,041 --> 00:00:22,458
{\an8}<i>The year is 50 BC.</i>

3
00:00:22,958 --> 00:00:26,125
{\an8}<i>All of Gaul is occupied by the Romans.</i>

4
00:00:26,208 --> 00:00:28,083
{\an8}All? No way.

5
00:00:28,833 --> 00:00:31,666
{\an8}One small village
of indomitable Gauls still holds out.

6
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:32,666
{\an8}Yes, yes.

7
00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:34,250
{\an8}All right, but life's not easy

8
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:37,125
{\an8}for the Roman legionaries
who garrison the fortified camps

9
00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:39,291
{\an8}of Totorum, Aquarium,
Laudanum and Compendium.

10
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:40,833
{\an8}Metadata, that's enough!

11
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:43,333
{\an8}Can't say that to Caesar.
He'll throw us to the lions!

12
00:00:43,416 --> 00:00:46,166
{\an8}But all of Gaul is not occupied.
To say that would be untrue.

13
00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:50,750
{\an8}Yes, I know, but trust me, it's fine.
It's almost occupied so we say "all".

14
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:53,833
{\an8}But "all" and "almost"
are not the same thing though.

15
00:00:53,916 --> 00:00:55,833
{\an8}They are, more or less.

16
00:00:55,916 --> 00:00:58,750
{\an8}What do you know anyway?
You've never been to Gaul.

17
00:00:58,833 --> 00:01:02,333
{\an8}I'd be better off there
than in this dusty cellar.

18
00:01:02,416 --> 00:01:05,958
{\an8}Hey, stylus-pushers! What you doing?
They're waiting for you.

19
00:01:06,041 --> 00:01:08,541
{\an8}- What? So Caesar's here?
- He's on the way.

20
00:01:08,625 --> 00:01:09,625
{\an8}And my uncle?

21
00:01:09,708 --> 00:01:11,583
Oh, yeah, he's there for sure.

22
00:01:12,958 --> 00:01:16,458
Oh, hang on, I've got another one.
Have you heard this one?

23
00:01:16,541 --> 00:01:21,666
Do any of you know the difference
between a Gaul and a wild boar?

24
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,000
Eh? No? Nobody?

25
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:30,375
Well, one is covered in hair and goes…

26
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,541
And the other one…

27
00:01:32,208 --> 00:01:33,500
is a wild boar!

28
00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:39,041
A wild boar!

29
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,833
No, 'cause you thought I'd say

30
00:01:42,916 --> 00:01:46,125
that the other one was a Gaul,
didn't you, eh?

31
00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:50,125
'Cause wild boars are very hairy and go…

32
00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:51,250
But I didn't!

33
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:53,000
And that's the joke!

34
00:01:54,583 --> 00:01:55,416
Oh.

35
00:01:58,625 --> 00:02:00,583
Ave, Caesar!

36
00:02:00,666 --> 00:02:04,083
And so, for your triumph, we have created…

37
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:06,916
a mosaic!

38
00:02:08,125 --> 00:02:09,291
A mosaic?

39
00:02:09,791 --> 00:02:10,708
Voilà!

40
00:02:10,791 --> 00:02:12,416
I do confess a little bias,

41
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,041
but I assure you there's good reason.

42
00:02:15,125 --> 00:02:18,041
See here, good against evil, okay?

43
00:02:18,125 --> 00:02:21,416
Half of your imperial face on the left,
and a smaller one on the right.

44
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:25,166
Vercingetorix!
Okay, so what does it illustrate?

45
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:26,333
The might of Rome,

46
00:02:26,416 --> 00:02:28,916
and how she dominates over the weak.
You see?

47
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,750
As for the form,
we've tried to break the mould.

48
00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:35,583
Not classical, no pastel.
Just a lotta red! Boom!

49
00:02:38,541 --> 00:02:40,125
All the focus groups gave great…

50
00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:42,416
I wanted a bold concept
to mark my triumph,

51
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:44,458
and you give me a mosaic?

52
00:02:44,541 --> 00:02:47,166
What a silly idea. No.

53
00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:50,250
Very well. Check out this one.

54
00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:54,416
I know what you're going to say.
It's another mosaic.

55
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,041
But this is your triumph, Caesar!

56
00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:59,041
What do we want to say?
What's our key message?

57
00:02:59,125 --> 00:03:02,250
- That all of Gaul is occupied!
- Erm…

58
00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:05,833
Yes, Mummy? Go on.

59
00:03:05,916 --> 00:03:07,500
Er, "all of Gaul is occupied"?

60
00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:10,666
No, no. One small village
of indomitable Gauls still holds out.

61
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,291
- Mummy, come on.
- Hmm?

62
00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:14,458
It's one small village. We can say "all".

63
00:03:14,541 --> 00:03:16,625
Yes, it's more or less
all entirely occupied

64
00:03:16,708 --> 00:03:18,125
without exception I assure you.

65
00:03:18,208 --> 00:03:20,333
Yes, but one village is not quite all.

66
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,500
- Fastanfurius!
- Er, yes?

67
00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:26,000
Why are those Gauls,
why are they still… Gauls?

68
00:03:26,083 --> 00:03:28,166
It's because of their magic potion.

69
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:31,166
It gives them superhuman strength!
It's impossible to…

70
00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:33,041
"Impossible" is not Roman!

71
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:35,583
I want to see
those Gauls grovel before me,

72
00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:38,875
for them to submit to Rome's power,
once and for all!

73
00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:41,458
And to obey the laws of Rome!

74
00:03:41,541 --> 00:03:44,041
Ahem. There might be a way…

75
00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:46,083
by using Gallic law.

76
00:03:47,333 --> 00:03:49,208
I'm sorry, Caesar.

77
00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:52,791
My niece does have a habit
of talking out of turn.

78
00:03:52,875 --> 00:03:56,666
Metadata, keep quiet and put on a toga.
You're dressed like a barbarian.

79
00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:58,750
The year is minus 50,
I can wear what I like.

80
00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:00,458
Fifty before what?

81
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:04,583
O Caesar, I am sure you are familiar
with the Big Fight?

82
00:04:05,166 --> 00:04:07,833
What? Yes, yes. Am I ever.

83
00:04:07,916 --> 00:04:11,208
When a Gallic chief wants
to take control of another village,

84
00:04:11,291 --> 00:04:14,291
he challenges the other chief
to a fight, man to man.

85
00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:20,583
The chief still standing at the end
becomes the chief of both clans.

86
00:04:20,666 --> 00:04:24,666
So, if a Gallo-Roman chief,
a Gallic chief committed to helping Rome,

87
00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:27,375
beats the chief of the indomitable Gauls,

88
00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:30,250
he will be the new chief for both clans.

89
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:32,875
And the Gauls will then be Roman?

90
00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:35,708
Gallo-Roman. But yeah, you can say Roman.

91
00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:38,250
We'll defeat and humiliate them all!

92
00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:41,833
And we will see them caught out
by their own traditions!

93
00:04:41,916 --> 00:04:44,125
Enough of mosaics!

94
00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:47,833
The Big Fight will celebrate my triumph!

95
00:04:47,916 --> 00:04:49,500
A spectacular show!

96
00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:51,041
And they will bow down,

97
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:54,458
all those Gauls prostrate
on the floor before me!

98
00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:57,958
They'll kiss my boot!

99
00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:03,875
<i>J'adore.</i>

100
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:07,166
You're in charge of organizing
the Big Fight, Bigfarma.

101
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:09,625
Er, Metadata. My name's Metadata.

102
00:05:09,708 --> 00:05:11,750
Start packing,
you leave for Gaul tomorrow.

103
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,416
For Gaul? Thank you, Caesar, thank you!

104
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,833
Fastanfurius,
you'll give her a hand with logistics.

105
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:17,958
He's coming too?

106
00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:20,500
Succeed, or I'll throw you to the lions.

107
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:23,750
Lions, er… the animal?

108
00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:25,958
With the long hair?

109
00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:27,416
Caesar has spoken!

110
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,833
I'll go, I'll see, I'll conquer.

111
00:05:30,916 --> 00:05:34,375
Oh! That's a very good phrase,
we'll get it engraved.

112
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:36,333
And then I'll come back,

113
00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:38,208
I'll tell you all about it,

114
00:05:38,291 --> 00:05:41,041
and… I'll have a bite to eat.

115
00:05:41,125 --> 00:05:43,000
Hmm. Maybe not that one.

116
00:06:01,166 --> 00:06:02,583
Huh?

117
00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:13,041
Now, children! Now, children!

118
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:17,708
The Romans haven't bothered us
for 30 days.

119
00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:20,291
Thanks to our druid's magic potion,

120
00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:24,000
we are and will remain indomitable!

121
00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,083
Long live our druid!

122
00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:28,000
Long live Getafix!

123
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,125
Thank you, my friends. Thank you.

124
00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:32,333
But…

125
00:06:32,416 --> 00:06:33,916
But!

126
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,375
We have nothing to fear,
but the sky above falling upon our heads.

127
00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:42,916
So, let's give thanks to Toutatis
with this banquet and these offerings!

128
00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:49,291
I composed a ballad for Toutatis.

129
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:52,916
And it is called,
"Toutatis, Totally Yours".

130
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,000
<i>Toutatis Totally yours…</i>

131
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:03,958
- Asterix.
- Hmm?

132
00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:06,583
Listen, erm, can I say this?

133
00:07:06,666 --> 00:07:10,666
"This menhir is just like our village,
solid as a menhir".

134
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:11,916
Oh yeah. Very nice.

135
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,541
I mean, comparing the village
to a menhir and all that.

136
00:07:14,625 --> 00:07:17,541
{\an8}Nice. But you do know
you're saying "menhir" twice?

137
00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:20,375
I know, but there aren't many ways
to say "menhir", you know?

138
00:07:20,458 --> 00:07:23,416
- I know. You are right.
- What if you said it with a song?

139
00:07:24,541 --> 00:07:25,875
<i>This menhir… </i>

140
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:31,625
Impedimenta,
weren't you and Vitalstatistix

141
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:33,083
going on a trip to Lutetia?

142
00:07:33,166 --> 00:07:37,083
Yeah, but what with the invading Romans,
looking after our hut and all that,

143
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,541
it's hard to find the time.

144
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,625
Yeah. I hear you.

145
00:07:39,708 --> 00:07:42,333
Even so, we go tomorrow. Don't we?

146
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:44,041
- Right, Piggywiggy?
- Huh?

147
00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:46,333
- Lutetia, tomorrow.
- Oh, yeah. Sure.

148
00:07:47,125 --> 00:07:49,541
Hey. Easy does it with the sauce.

149
00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:54,083
- Why? I'm giving thanks to Toutatis.
- In Lutetia, it's only vegetables.

150
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:57,791
Come on, it's just fat.
It's never hurt anyone, has it? No.

151
00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:00,208
- Offerings!
- Oh. Huh?

152
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:02,583
- Offerings!
- Okay, all right.

153
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,666
Now whose is this offering?

154
00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:10,125
- Speech!
- Obelix!

155
00:08:10,208 --> 00:08:12,583
- Speech!
- Obelix, give us a speech!

156
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,125
Come on then!

157
00:08:17,625 --> 00:08:18,500
Er…

158
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,666
"This menhir…" Obelix, "This menhir…"

159
00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:26,791
This menhir…

160
00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:28,583
- Louder!
- Speak up!

161
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:44,250
Okay, Obelix feels this menhir
is just like the unity of our village,

162
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:45,291
solid as a rock.

163
00:08:45,375 --> 00:08:46,458
Yeah!

164
00:08:46,541 --> 00:08:49,041
Solid as a rock, that's what we are!

165
00:08:50,875 --> 00:08:54,583
- Thank you, Asterix.
- That's what friends are for, right?

166
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:57,166
Mmm.

167
00:09:11,166 --> 00:09:12,583
Potus?

168
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:14,500
Yeah?

169
00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:17,458
Po-po-tu-tus?

170
00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:20,041
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah?

171
00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:21,875
Potus?

172
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:23,791
- Huh?
- Potus!

173
00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:28,625
Who's that?

174
00:09:29,541 --> 00:09:31,791
Oh, relief troops. Oh.

175
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,375
Guys, it's the relief troops.

176
00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:35,000
Yay.

177
00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:37,250
- Were you just under attack?
- Huh?

178
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:41,208
Oh no, no, no.
No, it's just that yesterday,

179
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:44,416
we celebrated 30 days
without fighting the Gauls.

180
00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:47,583
And we got all got a bit sozzled.

181
00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:51,125
- Dear me. Just as well we're here.
- Yeah, about time. Right.

182
00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:53,833
Good. Super, super.

183
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,916
It's great to see you,
and it's nice to chat.

184
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,875
I don't want to get in your way.
I'll hand over to you.

185
00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:01,916
All right? Ave!

186
00:10:03,708 --> 00:10:04,750
Stay where you are.

187
00:10:04,833 --> 00:10:07,791
Why? I thought
you're in command now, so I'll go.

188
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:08,833
- Ave?
- No.

189
00:10:08,916 --> 00:10:13,541
No ave. Prepare tents for my soldiers.
You and your men are being requisitioned.

190
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:15,416
Requisitioned? But why, sir?

191
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:19,625
To get rid of those hairy Gauls
once and for all.

192
00:10:19,708 --> 00:10:22,541
Operation Big Fight has started.

193
00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,500
Is someone slaughtering a wild boar?

194
00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:34,041
No, it's the bard practising a lullaby.

195
00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:36,125
Oh, no, I'm here!

196
00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:41,041
Been wanting to go to Lutetia for ages.

197
00:10:41,125 --> 00:10:44,291
But no! Oh, no. Of course not.
Because he stuffed his face

198
00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:46,791
and he feels
like the sky's fallen on his head.

199
00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:48,541
Not on my head.

200
00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:50,500
Maybe more like… here?

201
00:10:53,666 --> 00:10:55,625
There you go, it's the liver.

202
00:10:55,708 --> 00:10:57,750
I didn't know that your liver could hurt.

203
00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:01,208
Impedimenta and I told you,
but you never listen.

204
00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:02,375
You ate too much.

205
00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:04,208
I didn't know you could eat too much.

206
00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:07,666
- You must cure it with a potion.
- You can't fix everything with potions.

207
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,083
- I didn't know you couldn't…
- All right, Obelix.

208
00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:12,500
If you can't manage to eat less,
get some help.

209
00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:15,083
Getafix told you
who to go and see, didn't he?

210
00:11:15,166 --> 00:11:18,125
Apothika, Apothika, I know.

211
00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:20,333
I'm not going to see that quack,

212
00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:23,500
'cause there's nothing wrong with me.
I actually feel back to normal.

213
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,041
- It doesn't hurt?
- Not at all.

214
00:11:25,125 --> 00:11:27,041
You sure?

215
00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:30,291
Ooh, can I press there as well?

216
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:32,875
Oh, no…

217
00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,666
- No, Obelix, don't touch.
- Touch what?

218
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:35,750
- Well, that.
- No…

219
00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:40,666
Be careful, children.
His liver's not a Roman road.

220
00:11:42,416 --> 00:11:44,708
Come here, Dogmatix!
Come here, little doggie.

221
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:47,541
No, no, no.

222
00:11:49,541 --> 00:11:51,500
Fine, enough. Drink this.

223
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:53,208
Ah…

224
00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:56,000
Thank you.

225
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,250
Join me in Lutetia if you feel better,
'cause I am going.

226
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:02,500
But Pidiped, you can't go
to Lutetia on your own.

227
00:12:02,583 --> 00:12:04,000
The journey there isn't safe…

228
00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:07,083
- Getafix will give me some magic potion.
- But there isn't any more.

229
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:08,791
Then make some more!

230
00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:20,375
So, the VIP box could be… here.

231
00:12:20,958 --> 00:12:22,958
Great, we can see the village already.

232
00:12:23,041 --> 00:12:26,625
What squalor. I'd burn it all down
without a second thought.

233
00:12:26,708 --> 00:12:28,125
Yeah, but that's not the plan.

234
00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:31,625
Okay, so, step one. We give the Gauls
one more chance to surrender.

235
00:12:32,208 --> 00:12:34,458
How about we just jump to step two?

236
00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:38,125
In step two, we find a Gallo-Roman chief
to fight Vitalstatistix.

237
00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:41,625
In step three, he wins the Big Fight,
the Gauls become Gallo-Romans,

238
00:12:41,708 --> 00:12:42,916
victory to Caesar!

239
00:12:44,916 --> 00:12:47,083
Okay, it kinda feels

240
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:50,416
like we just skipped step two-B,
where they don't drink magic potion,

241
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,375
because that really is the main problem.

242
00:12:53,375 --> 00:12:56,958
Hmm. So, isolate the druid
during the fight.

243
00:12:57,041 --> 00:13:00,125
No druid, no magic potion. Easy as A-V-E.

244
00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:03,750
- Metadata, how much should we clear?
- The lot. You must clear it all.

245
00:13:03,833 --> 00:13:06,000
- Come on then. Let's get started.
- No, hang on!

246
00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:07,416
Do we need to cut them all?

247
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,041
So, what do we do now?

248
00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:11,833
We'll do what she said.

249
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,500
We will isolate the druid.

250
00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:17,000
But for evermore, in the earth.

251
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:19,666
Take a few men with you.
You will take care of it now.

252
00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:22,000
- Me?
- What are you waiting for?!

253
00:13:23,458 --> 00:13:25,916
We'll end up
with two indomitable villages.

254
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,750
I can see it a mile off.

255
00:13:29,833 --> 00:13:31,166
So what's that one?

256
00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:33,000
That one there is a catfish.

257
00:13:33,083 --> 00:13:34,750
- Mmm.
- Ooh, no, no. Sorry.

258
00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:36,375
That one's actually sea bream.

259
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:39,000
Unhygienix, are you sure
your fish aren't stale?

260
00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,666
You're joking? I picked them up
on the beach last week.

261
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:43,416
I stuck to the lukewarm chain.

262
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,541
So you can eat them
till the cows come home.

263
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:49,500
- Hmm. There's a lot of flies though.
- No, I won't charge you for them.

264
00:13:49,583 --> 00:13:51,083
Hang on. Getafix?

265
00:13:51,166 --> 00:13:53,958
- Do you sell wild boar?
- No, I only sell fish.

266
00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:57,375
- Shame.
- You know, I wouldn't mind, believe me.

267
00:13:57,458 --> 00:13:58,791
But you have to specialise.

268
00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:01,791
- Where are you heading, o druid?
- To the forest.

269
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,083
I'm going to look for ingredients
for the potion,

270
00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:06,125
since it seems that's all I'm good for.

271
00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:09,000
- I'll go with you.
- No, you won't, thank you.

272
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:11,125
A bit of solitude will do me good.

273
00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:13,875
Right.

274
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:17,125
You know, I get why he wants
to be alone for a while.

275
00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:19,875
- Hmm?
- When you see the same faces every day.

276
00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:22,833
I'm so thankful we're surrounded
by the Romans, or else, I…

277
00:14:22,916 --> 00:14:25,500
- You'd suffocate? Mmm.
- That's exactly what I mean.

278
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,791
Hey! Amazing camouflage.

279
00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:31,166
Seriously. Well done.

280
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:33,666
Oh, thanks, that's very kind of you.

281
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:35,666
And those acorns.

282
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:36,750
Great idea.

283
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:41,166
Well, I thought, oak tree forest… acorns.
It kinda makes sense, you know?

284
00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:42,666
- I mean…
- Oh yeah, it sure does.

285
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:45,666
Had it been a chestnut tree forest,
I'd have used chestnuts.

286
00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:47,125
Of course, yeah, yeah.

287
00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:49,583
But since they are oak trees,
I went for acorns…

288
00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:51,875
Shhh! Shut up. They're gonna spot us.

289
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,083
Okay, follow me. In silence.

290
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:57,333
By Mercury, Mars, Juno and Jupiter.

291
00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:01,625
Hey, we have too many gods, don't we?

292
00:15:01,708 --> 00:15:03,250
I think so.

293
00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:07,000
- We should pick one and stick with that.
- What, one god for everything?

294
00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:10,208
A god of war, god of the earth,
god of the sea, god of the harvest?

295
00:15:10,291 --> 00:15:11,875
That's a big job, don't you think?

296
00:15:11,958 --> 00:15:13,958
- Maybe not for the harvest.
- Oh.

297
00:15:14,041 --> 00:15:17,541
I mean, we are talking about a god,
but they could be a goddess too, because…

298
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,041
- Shut up!
- We'll carry on later.

299
00:15:24,666 --> 00:15:28,375
Thinking what I'm thinking, Obelix?

300
00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:31,708
Yep. Unhygienix, our fishmonger,
should also sell wild boar.

301
00:15:31,791 --> 00:15:36,666
No, no. No, I'm worried about our druid
out there all alone in the forest.

302
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,625
Right, I'm going. You coming too?

303
00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:42,875
Yeah. I'll finish this later.
It's not an urgent order.

304
00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:48,083
But are you…
Aren't you leaving your menhir here?

305
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:50,166
I don't wanna a kid to pinch it!

306
00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:56,541
Of course, not one of them asking,
"Getafix, are you tired?"

307
00:15:56,625 --> 00:16:00,000
"Do you want to rest?" No, of course not.

308
00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:03,291
"Our druid Getafix is here
to heal everyone, 24 hours a day."

309
00:16:03,375 --> 00:16:04,541
That's how it is.

310
00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:06,583
Oh, what a beauty!

311
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:12,333
There.

312
00:16:13,208 --> 00:16:14,166
So…

313
00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:18,458
Four-leaf clover, four-leaf clover.

314
00:16:18,541 --> 00:16:21,708
Four-leaf clover.
No, that's a five-toe foot.

315
00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:23,041
A foot?

316
00:16:23,125 --> 00:16:24,250
Capture him!

317
00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:31,791
Okay, listen.
Unhygienix won't sell wild boar.

318
00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:33,541
That's his right. We can't make him.

319
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,333
- That's the end of it.
- Hmm.

320
00:16:35,416 --> 00:16:38,958
I think it'd be fair
for those villagers who don't like fish…

321
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:39,875
Ah.

322
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:43,083
…for there to be,
I don't know, some kind of place

323
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:47,166
for them to sell, exchange,
trade wild boars, for instance.

324
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,625
- Hmm.
- I'm thinking aloud, you know.

325
00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:52,500
Yes, so actually,
just like a fish shop, there would be…

326
00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:54,583
- A wild boar shop.
- Okay, right.

327
00:16:54,666 --> 00:16:55,791
Yeah. You know?

328
00:16:55,875 --> 00:16:57,750
- Understood. Mmm.
- Yeah.

329
00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,875
- For all those who don't like fish.
- Yes.

330
00:16:59,958 --> 00:17:01,416
- There's a lot of us.
- Mm-hmm.

331
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:02,666
- Me for a start.
- Hmm.

332
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:03,666
Dogmatix.

333
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:08,041
Yeah, but hang on a moment.
So, you'd sell menhirs and wild boar?

334
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:11,125
I don't know. Maybe.
We should just think on it.

335
00:17:11,208 --> 00:17:14,125
Let go of me! Let go of me!

336
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:16,750
- Let go of me, you Romans!
- Hold him!

337
00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:18,750
Ouch! He bit me!

338
00:17:18,833 --> 00:17:21,250
- Ow! The druid kicked me in the head!
- Come on!

339
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,375
- Getafix!
- The Gauls are here!

340
00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:27,416
Retreat!

341
00:17:29,583 --> 00:17:31,916
- Whoa, oh!
- I'll get rid of 'em for you.

342
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000
- Mind out.
- No, Obelix, no!

343
00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:42,791
Oh!

344
00:17:49,708 --> 00:17:53,916
Seriously, Obelix? Oh, bravo!
Bravo! Good idea. Speechless.

345
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,708
I got rid of those Romans, didn't I?

346
00:17:55,791 --> 00:17:59,000
Yeah, and you flattened our druid
in the process! You're so clumsy!

347
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:01,541
I'm clumsy? I'm clumsy?!

348
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:05,708
It's Mr Asterix who dropped
the magic potion and is clumsy! So there!

349
00:18:05,791 --> 00:18:10,208
Oh! Well, we can't all fall into it
like Mr Obelix did when he was little boy!

350
00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:14,208
'Cause Mr Asterix had nothing
to do with that, did he?

351
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:16,208
That is unrelated, it's completely…

352
00:18:16,291 --> 00:18:17,500
Huh?

353
00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:21,166
Come. Let's get him out from under there.

354
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,750
Getafix?

355
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:35,541
What do you mean mission accomplished?

356
00:18:35,625 --> 00:18:39,500
Well, to cut a long story short,
we got there, looked around,

357
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:42,458
found a spot, then we hid,
nanani, nananoum…

358
00:18:42,541 --> 00:18:44,375
And then, who showed up?

359
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,125
Only the druid!

360
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:49,291
And so I shouted, "Capture him!"

361
00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:51,125
Wham, bam, boom!

362
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:54,375
With a branch, with a stump, and a bam!
I don't mess about.

363
00:18:54,458 --> 00:18:56,416
Ask anyone, they know what I'm like.

364
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,083
Anyway, mission accomplished,
and we left him for dead.

365
00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:02,333
Dead? But I just said
to get him out of the way!

366
00:19:02,416 --> 00:19:04,250
- Who told you…
- I did!

367
00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:05,750
But, uncle, what for?

368
00:19:05,833 --> 00:19:07,750
Did you not listen to Caesar?

369
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:10,375
I handle logistics,
you take care of the show.

370
00:19:10,458 --> 00:19:12,000
So, I handle the druid.

371
00:19:12,083 --> 00:19:14,291
You focus on event management.

372
00:19:15,291 --> 00:19:16,958
- Well done, Potus.
- Well…

373
00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:20,041
- Huh? That's my Tutus.
- Ah, thank you.

374
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:21,708
- Good Tutus, huh?
- Well, now…

375
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,291
Tutus to my Furius.

376
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,833
We're a team
and that's just how we are, you know?

377
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:29,333
Now we have to find
our Gallo-Roman champion.

378
00:19:29,416 --> 00:19:33,041
I might know just the chap.
Strong as an ox and loyal to Rome.

379
00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:34,458
Loyal to Rome?

380
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,750
Yes, sir. He's a diamond.

381
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:39,125
I want more of those columns!

382
00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:43,083
But mighty Chief Cassius Ceramix,
don't we have enough columns already?

383
00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:44,333
I want more!

384
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:49,833
We have to be more colonized!
I want this village to become a mini Rome.

385
00:19:49,916 --> 00:19:51,416
A mini Rome, coming up!

386
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:54,375
And we need to have names
ending in "us", like the Romans!

387
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:56,875
Names ending in "us".
What a great idea, chief!

388
00:19:56,958 --> 00:19:58,791
We should stay a bit Gallic though.

389
00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:01,125
- No!
- No, I really like the new style.

390
00:20:01,208 --> 00:20:05,250
We are Gallo-Romans,
by Jupiter and Toutatis!

391
00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:09,250
Oh, yeah! From today, Tenmillionclix,
you are Tenmillionviews.

392
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:12,083
- Oof.
- What about me, chief, what's my new name?

393
00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:14,666
Ah, yours can wait, Sycophantix.

394
00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:15,833
Okay.

395
00:20:18,958 --> 00:20:23,125
So we've got a mini Rome,
more columns, names ending in "us".

396
00:20:23,208 --> 00:20:25,541
- And an aqueduct!
- An aqueduct, okay.

397
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,791
They're nice, very Roman.
and for the last time,

398
00:20:27,875 --> 00:20:29,833
cut your braids and your moustache!

399
00:20:29,916 --> 00:20:31,833
But with no braids, I won't be virile.

400
00:20:31,916 --> 00:20:34,583
And no moustache,
there's this great big space here,

401
00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:37,083
between my nose and my mouth…

402
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:38,541
Enough of his lip.

403
00:20:43,291 --> 00:20:44,875
Ah! Ave!

404
00:20:44,958 --> 00:20:47,041
Welcome, beloved invaders!

405
00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:48,291
Ave.

406
00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:51,791
Can we also invade your home
so we can talk there, Cassius Ceramix?

407
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:54,500
Call me Cassius, won't you?
It's less Gallic.

408
00:20:54,583 --> 00:20:56,333
It's an honour. <i>Veni, veni.</i>

409
00:20:57,083 --> 00:20:59,875
This Gaul here is just how I like them.

410
00:21:00,708 --> 00:21:03,125
There isn't much here I'd call Gallic.

411
00:21:03,208 --> 00:21:07,458
You should have told me you were coming.
I'd have put on some games.

412
00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:12,791
There. Not as good as Roman wine,
but I like the name.

413
00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:14,041
Chatopetrus.

414
00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:17,666
Cassius Ceramix,
are you familiar with the Big Fight?

415
00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:19,541
A silly Gallic tradition.

416
00:21:19,625 --> 00:21:22,791
- Yeah. Why?
- We'd like you to fight a Gallic chief.

417
00:21:22,875 --> 00:21:26,208
Take over his clan when you claim victory.
Think you can do that?

418
00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:29,708
Do you doubt me?

419
00:21:29,791 --> 00:21:31,958
Seriously, is that a real question?

420
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:34,458
I am the best, by Vulcan!

421
00:21:34,541 --> 00:21:35,750
Let me show you.

422
00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:02,208
I will crush him like a grape!

423
00:22:02,291 --> 00:22:04,333
Who is this chief? It'll be carnage.

424
00:22:04,416 --> 00:22:05,666
Vitalstatistix.

425
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:08,750
Vitalstatistix?

426
00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:10,708
But, er, it'll be carnage!

427
00:22:10,791 --> 00:22:12,958
That magic potion gives him
superhuman strength.

428
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:14,458
Do not panic.

429
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:17,375
Well, of course, I'll panic!
I'm really worried.

430
00:22:17,458 --> 00:22:19,291
There's no more magic potion.

431
00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:22,250
No magic potion?

432
00:22:22,333 --> 00:22:24,583
No druid, no potion, trust me.

433
00:22:24,666 --> 00:22:27,125
You'll make mincemeat of Vitalstatistix.

434
00:22:27,791 --> 00:22:30,500
After, you might even challenge
other chiefs.

435
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:35,625
And one day, you could rule over them all.
All of the Gallic clans, if you so wish.

436
00:22:35,708 --> 00:22:38,833
You'd be a general ruling over Gaul.

437
00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:40,583
Mmm.

438
00:22:41,333 --> 00:22:44,000
General <i>de </i>Gaul.

439
00:22:46,291 --> 00:22:49,458
Ah, the remedy Getafix gave me
cured me, Pidiped.

440
00:22:49,541 --> 00:22:51,666
So come on, we're off to Lutetia.

441
00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:54,291
One drink, and then we'll go.

442
00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:57,458
What? We're leaving right away?

443
00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:11,666
I threw the menhir but as menhirs go,
it was a very small one.

444
00:23:11,750 --> 00:23:14,000
No need to make a big dolmen out of it.

445
00:23:14,083 --> 00:23:15,541
Shh, shh, shh, he's awake.

446
00:23:15,625 --> 00:23:19,041
See, there you go. I was just saying
that menhirs aren't dangerous.

447
00:23:19,125 --> 00:23:21,875
- Getafix, how are you feeling?
- I feel great.

448
00:23:22,458 --> 00:23:23,541
Thank you, madam.

449
00:23:24,083 --> 00:23:24,916
Madam?

450
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,416
But it's me, Impedimenta.

451
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,916
<i>Enchanté.</i>

452
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:33,625
Okay, hang on, hang on.
Getafix, do you know me?

453
00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:36,958
It… It is me, Asterix.

454
00:23:39,916 --> 00:23:41,750
What a big nose.

455
00:23:41,833 --> 00:23:45,083
By Belenus, our druid Getafix
has lost his memory.

456
00:23:45,166 --> 00:23:46,916
And we're out of magic potion.

457
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,291
Magic potion?

458
00:23:48,375 --> 00:23:50,375
Yes. Do you remember the recipe?

459
00:23:50,875 --> 00:23:51,708
No.

460
00:23:52,833 --> 00:23:54,541
But we can ask him.

461
00:23:54,625 --> 00:23:56,125
Er, ask who?

462
00:23:56,208 --> 00:23:57,291
Mr Beardix.

463
00:23:59,041 --> 00:24:00,916
Hello, Mr Beardix.

464
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,500
Hello!

465
00:24:02,583 --> 00:24:05,250
- How are you feeling, Mr Beardix?
- Hairy good.

466
00:24:05,333 --> 00:24:09,333
Do you know the recipe
for the magic potion, Mr Beardix?

467
00:24:09,416 --> 00:24:10,291
Hmm.

468
00:24:11,250 --> 00:24:12,083
No!

469
00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:16,166
But I do know the recipe
for having a good old laugh!

470
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:17,750
Ah, tell us then.

471
00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:22,958
Repeat after me.
When I say "beard", you say "ix".

472
00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:24,458
Beard…

473
00:24:25,041 --> 00:24:25,916
Ix.

474
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:27,500
Beard…

475
00:24:27,583 --> 00:24:30,416
He's crazy. He's completely crazy.

476
00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:32,958
Come on! It's easy!

477
00:24:33,041 --> 00:24:34,083
Beard!

478
00:24:34,166 --> 00:24:35,750
By Toutatis, we are doomed.

479
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:37,833
Ix!

480
00:25:12,291 --> 00:25:14,791
ASTERIX & OBELIX: THE BIG FIGHT