1
00:00:06,083 --> 00:00:07,541
[kids voices] <i>Yabadadi!</i>

2
00:00:07,625 --> 00:00:11,375
♪ <i>Panono, Panini, Panonino, Panini </i>♪

3
00:00:11,458 --> 00:00:14,500
[narrator] <i>The new adventures</i>
<i>of Panono, the nice druid.</i>

4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,166
Hello, Panono. How are you doing today?

5
00:00:18,250 --> 00:00:22,000
I'm doing very well,
big yellow man floating in the air.

6
00:00:22,083 --> 00:00:24,166
But where is Mrs Tree?

7
00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:25,791
Oh, I don't know.

8
00:00:25,875 --> 00:00:28,000
- Let us call Mrs Tree.
- Oh, yes!

9
00:00:28,083 --> 00:00:30,375
[both] Mrs Tree, Mrs Tree!

10
00:00:30,458 --> 00:00:31,333
- [oinking]
- Oh!

11
00:00:31,416 --> 00:00:33,583
Oh! But this isn't Mrs Tree!

12
00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:37,041
[laughs] No, this is Oink-Oink.

13
00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:40,208
{\an8}- Hello, Oink-Oink. How are you?
- [oinks]

14
00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:43,041
{\an8}Oh, yes, but you know what ducks are like.

15
00:00:43,125 --> 00:00:45,041
{\an8}Have you seen Mrs Tree?

16
00:00:45,541 --> 00:00:46,750
{\an8}- [oinks]
- What?

17
00:00:46,833 --> 00:00:50,041
{\an8}She is sad
and she doesn't want to see anyone?

18
00:00:50,125 --> 00:00:52,458
{\an8}Oh, what can we do?

19
00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:54,541
{\an8}- [oinks]
- Good idea, Oink-Oink!

20
00:00:54,625 --> 00:00:57,125
Let's call to her and sing her a song!

21
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,208
<i>♪ Mrs Tree, all is well ♪</i>

22
00:01:00,291 --> 00:01:03,333
<i>♪ Come and sing with all of your friends ♪</i>

23
00:01:03,416 --> 00:01:06,500
<i>♪ We feel good, it is sunny and warm ♪</i>

24
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:09,125
♪ <i>We feel glad in the land of Panono </i>♪

25
00:01:09,208 --> 00:01:10,041
Woohoo!

26
00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:12,166
♪ <i>Mrs. Tree, all is well </i>♪

27
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:15,625
♪ <i>Come and sing with all of your friends </i>♪

28
00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,333
[audio distorts] <i>♪ We feel good</i>
<i>It is sunny and warm ♪</i>

29
00:01:18,416 --> 00:01:20,833
♪ <i>We feel glad in the land of Panono </i>♪

30
00:01:20,916 --> 00:01:22,041
Woohoo!

31
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:22,958
<i>♪ Mrs Tree ♪</i>

32
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,250
[song ends abruptly]

33
00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:30,208
- [Asterix] He doesn't look any better.
- [Vitalstatistix] Mmm. No.

34
00:01:30,875 --> 00:01:34,291
And, er, it's not a great idea
to stare at the sun

35
00:01:34,375 --> 00:01:36,541
for a long time like that, is it?

36
00:01:36,625 --> 00:01:38,083
Well, it's safe enough.

37
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:40,541
[lively theme music plays]

38
00:01:40,625 --> 00:01:45,708
ASTÉRIX & OBÉLIX: THE BIG FIGHT

39
00:01:45,791 --> 00:01:48,125
{\an8}[hums melodically] <i>♪ Panono… </i>♪

40
00:01:48,833 --> 00:01:50,125
{\an8}<i>♪ Da-da-dum ♪</i>

41
00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:52,333
{\an8}Maybe he had a heavy lunch today.

42
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,750
{\an8}What? Like a menhir, for example?

43
00:01:54,833 --> 00:01:55,791
{\an8}They're not heavy.

44
00:01:55,875 --> 00:01:58,083
{\an8}Right then, let's let him rest.

45
00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:01,750
{\an8}[sweeping sad classical music plays]

46
00:02:01,833 --> 00:02:03,625
{\an8}- [groans softly]
- [door opens]

47
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,583
{\an8}The situation is grave.

48
00:02:08,208 --> 00:02:09,833
{\an8}Getafix is still unconscious

49
00:02:09,916 --> 00:02:12,458
{\an8}and our reserves of magic potion
have run dry.

50
00:02:12,541 --> 00:02:15,333
{\an8}- [villagers chatter nervously]
- But do not worry.

51
00:02:15,416 --> 00:02:18,208
{\an8}As soon as he's well again,
he'll brew some more,

52
00:02:18,291 --> 00:02:20,500
{\an8}and we'll once again be invincible!

53
00:02:20,583 --> 00:02:22,791
[all cheer]

54
00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:24,333
Well, there's no hurry.

55
00:02:24,416 --> 00:02:27,000
It's not like
we're in any immediate danger.

56
00:02:27,083 --> 00:02:28,333
[horns blare]

57
00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:29,875
Hmm? What's that?

58
00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:32,333
[bold classical music plays]

59
00:02:33,708 --> 00:02:38,166
Cassius Ceramix.
Always wanting a piece of the action.

60
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:40,208
Grew up a nasty piece of work.

61
00:02:40,291 --> 00:02:43,250
Yeah. Those Gallo-Romans have
a habit of causing trouble.

62
00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:45,666
And a leopard can't change its spots.

63
00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:50,791
[music peaks, stops]

64
00:02:51,916 --> 00:02:54,250
[scoffs] Still a dump here, I see.

65
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,208
- Ave!
- Hello.

66
00:02:57,291 --> 00:03:00,625
Vitalstatistix,
I challenge you to the Big Fight.

67
00:03:00,708 --> 00:03:01,750
And by our law,

68
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:04,208
the winner shall be made chief
of the loser's tribe.

69
00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:06,541
I know the rules, Cassius Ceramix.

70
00:03:06,625 --> 00:03:09,375
Haven't Gauls got better things to do
than fight each other?

71
00:03:09,458 --> 00:03:10,875
I am Gallo-Roman.

72
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,375
Hmm! You're an appeaser.

73
00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:16,375
No, I'd rather say "a peacemaker", hmm?

74
00:03:16,458 --> 00:03:20,250
But enough of the chat! The fight will
take place at the next full moon.

75
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,708
At the next full moon?
But it's not long, it's…

76
00:03:22,791 --> 00:03:24,083
Exactly.

77
00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:28,000
So then, ave!
I turn my back on you, future loser.

78
00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:32,625
Me, not you!
We go round in a circle if we all do it.

79
00:03:32,708 --> 00:03:34,500
- [Getafix] Hello, everyone.
- Huh?

80
00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:37,500
- [woman] Getafix! Is he all right?
- But… Getafix!

81
00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:39,833
Well, tell me, Bob.

82
00:03:39,916 --> 00:03:43,541
What's with the outfit? Do you think
you're the Great Lizard or what?

83
00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:44,916
Turn around, quickly!

84
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:45,916
Us or you?

85
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:49,041
Don't get clever with me,
or I'll have you! Hup, hup, hup!

86
00:03:53,708 --> 00:03:56,000
Getafix, how are you? You feeling okay?

87
00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:59,208
Not well, Kimberly.
The FTSE is down 100 points today.

88
00:03:59,291 --> 00:04:01,791
- [woman] What?
- [Asterix sighs] This is not good.

89
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,500
- A hundred points is a lot.
- Mmm.

90
00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:05,500
Obelix, go to the druid's hut.

91
00:04:05,583 --> 00:04:08,000
Take a pot
and any ingredients you can find.

92
00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:11,416
We need to know if our druid
can still make the magic potion.

93
00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:14,250
[foreman] No, no, no, no.

94
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:16,833
We simply have to make
the parking area bigger.

95
00:04:16,916 --> 00:04:18,916
There, we cut more trees down.

96
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,166
[sighs] We've cut down so many though.

97
00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:22,250
I know, madam.

98
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:23,916
But there are horses, cattle,

99
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,333
Hannibal's coming now,
so there'll be elephants too!

100
00:04:26,416 --> 00:04:27,750
Where are they all gonna go?

101
00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:30,666
We've been cutting trees down,
so these animals can have space…

102
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,083
Oh, wow!

103
00:04:32,166 --> 00:04:36,208
But do we really need to build all this
when it's only gonna be two guys fighting?

104
00:04:36,291 --> 00:04:38,875
No, Potus,
it is not just two guys fighting.

105
00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:42,208
It is Caesar's triumph,
and we have to welcome him accordingly.

106
00:04:42,291 --> 00:04:44,083
Huh? Caesar's here?

107
00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:46,166
No, but he's arriving tonight.

108
00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:48,166
Wait a sec. Caesar Caesar?

109
00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:49,500
Er, yeah.

110
00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:51,416
- Tonight tonight?
- Or tomorrow.

111
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,958
Now, if you don't mind, I'm busy.
Show me the lodge for Cleopatra.

112
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:57,291
Cleopatra Cleopatra?

113
00:04:57,375 --> 00:05:00,458
Potus! Can we talk for a sec?
We have a big issue.

114
00:05:00,541 --> 00:05:01,833
What? No "Ave" any more?

115
00:05:01,916 --> 00:05:02,916
The druid's alive!

116
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,916
Huh? Impossible.

117
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,041
- He was squashed by his own menhir.
- He was not squashed at all!

118
00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:10,458
He's in the village,
having a laugh, in great shape.

119
00:05:10,541 --> 00:05:12,250
Ah, bummerus.

120
00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:15,958
Well, I'll handle it.
You go back to training.

121
00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:17,791
Huh? I'm going back home.

122
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:20,750
I didn't become a Gallo-Roman
to be on the losers' team.

123
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,000
[blows]

124
00:05:25,416 --> 00:05:28,666
Good. So tell me. What do I do?

125
00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:32,375
Well… put the ingredients in the pot
and prepare some magic potion.

126
00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:34,708
Whoa, keep your hair on.
I'm going to do it.

127
00:05:34,791 --> 00:05:36,583
How feisty she is!

128
00:05:36,666 --> 00:05:39,041
A bit of this, there.

129
00:05:39,125 --> 00:05:40,541
[hums]

130
00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:42,958
And strawberry. Ah!

131
00:05:43,541 --> 00:05:45,750
- There we are…
- Looks like he remembers the rec…

132
00:05:45,833 --> 00:05:47,083
[loud explosion]

133
00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:51,083
[clangs]

134
00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:53,083
Woohoo! Again, guys?

135
00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:56,208
- Oh, that was so much fun.
- [sighs] We're gonna need another pot.

136
00:05:56,291 --> 00:05:58,333
["Mr. Boombastic" by Shaggy plays]

137
00:06:04,708 --> 00:06:05,708
[Dogmatix whines]

138
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,416
[explodes]

139
00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:13,000
[gun fires]

140
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,333
[song continues to play]

141
00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:27,708
[sneezes]

142
00:06:34,458 --> 00:06:35,625
[whines]

143
00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:44,958
What are they doing?

144
00:06:45,041 --> 00:06:46,666
No! [groans]

145
00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:49,625
Ow, ouch! Oh! Ow! Oh! Ow!

146
00:06:49,708 --> 00:06:50,625
[groans dully]

147
00:06:51,208 --> 00:06:52,208
[creaking]

148
00:06:52,291 --> 00:06:54,500
No, no, no, no, no, no!

149
00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:56,583
Ow! [groans repeatedly]

150
00:06:58,666 --> 00:07:00,000
[sighs]

151
00:07:00,791 --> 00:07:04,416
I'm sorry, gentlemen.
This one didn't go "boom".

152
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,666
{\an8}Well, then, it might be the right one.

153
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:09,291
I'll taste it.
It could be 'cause of my menhir…

154
00:07:09,375 --> 00:07:10,333
No, Obelix.

155
00:07:10,416 --> 00:07:11,625
- [Potus] Ow.
- [flaps lips]

156
00:07:11,708 --> 00:07:13,708
Even when it's not magic potion, still no!

157
00:07:13,791 --> 00:07:15,750
- I am your chief. I'll try it.
- [Potus] Ow!

158
00:07:15,833 --> 00:07:17,166
{\an8}Yes, but if you go "boom",

159
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:20,083
{\an8}Cassius Ceramix will be our chief
without having to fight.

160
00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:23,791
- No. What we need to taste it is…
- [Potus] Ow. Ow, ow, ow.

161
00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:25,541
[chuckles] That.

162
00:07:25,625 --> 00:07:26,916
- [clangs]
- [Potus] Ah!

163
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:28,791
- [clangs]
- Ow.

164
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,958
Ah, thanks, guys. It's hot in here.

165
00:07:33,041 --> 00:07:36,375
- Mmm. Come on then.
- [Potus] Is that you, Omnibus?

166
00:07:36,458 --> 00:07:38,208
- No.
- Is that you, Lastofus?

167
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,625
- No.
- Sidvicius?

168
00:07:39,708 --> 00:07:40,833
- No.
- Monotonus?

169
00:07:40,916 --> 00:07:42,083
- No.
- Beetlejus?

170
00:07:42,166 --> 00:07:44,125
- Still wrong. I'm Obelix.
- [yaps]

171
00:07:44,208 --> 00:07:45,625
And the dog is Dogmatix.

172
00:07:45,708 --> 00:07:47,416
Your names don't end in "us"?

173
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,250
- No. Have a guess where you are.
- Oh, no!

174
00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:52,000
[knocks] Take the pot off your head.

175
00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:53,666
No, I know who you are.

176
00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:55,000
You're gonna hit me.

177
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:56,750
At least I'm protected in here.

178
00:07:56,833 --> 00:07:58,541
Get out or I'll get you out!

179
00:07:59,416 --> 00:08:02,208
[sighs] I knew you'd hit me.
You can't be trusted.

180
00:08:02,291 --> 00:08:05,458
No, we're just gonna give you
some soup, and that's all.

181
00:08:05,541 --> 00:08:06,583
{\an8}That's all?

182
00:08:06,666 --> 00:08:07,708
That's all.

183
00:08:10,125 --> 00:08:11,458
Here, try, it's good.

184
00:08:11,541 --> 00:08:13,250
[suspenseful music plays]

185
00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:14,375
[slurps]

186
00:08:16,375 --> 00:08:17,500
Ah.

187
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:23,041
Give my compliments to the chef, yeah?

188
00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:26,666
I won't bother you much longer.
I imagine you're all rather busy.

189
00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:28,666
I'm gonna get going. [chuckles]

190
00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:30,041
Er?

191
00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:33,000
[screams] What have you done to me?!

192
00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:34,333
No, still not right.

193
00:08:34,416 --> 00:08:37,250
Oh, he's turned green!
How did you do that?

194
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:40,208
Now, look, don't worry, Roman.
We'll sort it out.

195
00:08:40,291 --> 00:08:42,458
["Grace Kelly" by Pomplamoose plays]

196
00:08:43,541 --> 00:08:44,666
[slurps, gulps]

197
00:08:46,208 --> 00:08:47,833
- Mm-mmm.
- Mmm.

198
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:50,416
[slurps]

199
00:08:52,416 --> 00:08:53,958
- Mmm?
- Mmm.

200
00:08:54,041 --> 00:08:54,875
[slurps]

201
00:08:55,458 --> 00:09:00,166
[inaudible]

202
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:03,166
BY JUPITER, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?!

203
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:04,708
[song continues]

204
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,125
Huh?

205
00:09:07,791 --> 00:09:09,333
[all] Hmm…

206
00:09:13,375 --> 00:09:14,916
- Hmm?
- [gasps] Er…

207
00:09:15,583 --> 00:09:17,208
- Er, I'm here.
- [Asterix sighs]

208
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:19,166
- Here, here.
- [Asterix] Yeah. There.

209
00:09:19,791 --> 00:09:20,666
[slurps]

210
00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,708
- [energy crackles]
- Oh, no, no, no.

211
00:09:22,791 --> 00:09:23,875
I really like it.

212
00:09:23,958 --> 00:09:25,541
[energy pulses]

213
00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:28,625
Hmm. Those colours are nice.

214
00:09:28,708 --> 00:09:31,750
["Grace Kelly" continues playing]

215
00:09:38,416 --> 00:09:40,250
- [music stops]
- [shouting] Stop it!

216
00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:44,000
I just want my skin how it was before,
with my young girl's complexion!

217
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:47,333
[Asterix] Okay, one last try
and we'll leave you alone. Hmm?

218
00:09:47,416 --> 00:09:48,666
[intriguing music plays]

219
00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:50,083
[slurps]

220
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,208
- Huh? Oh!
- [energy crackles]

221
00:09:53,291 --> 00:09:54,333
[laughs]

222
00:09:54,416 --> 00:09:56,208
I've got my complexion back!

223
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:57,208
Like a peach.

224
00:09:57,291 --> 00:09:59,375
Oh, maybe it's the magic potion.

225
00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:01,458
Yeah. How do you feel, Roman?

226
00:10:01,541 --> 00:10:03,416
Great. Yeah, great.

227
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,041
I feel so light.

228
00:10:05,125 --> 00:10:07,166
Very light. [laughs softly]

229
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:09,208
Er, he's flying. He's flying away!

230
00:10:09,291 --> 00:10:11,458
- Well, catch him then!
- I'm flying away!

231
00:10:11,541 --> 00:10:14,875
[exclaims]

232
00:10:14,958 --> 00:10:16,125
[sighs]

233
00:10:16,208 --> 00:10:17,333
[chuckles]

234
00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:20,000
[dramatic classical music playing]

235
00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:21,416
[panting]

236
00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:23,375
[grunts]

237
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:26,791
[grunting]

238
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,708
[music peaks, stops]

239
00:10:32,791 --> 00:10:33,750
{\an8}[groans]

240
00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:36,541
[Potus chuckles]

241
00:10:37,833 --> 00:10:38,958
[panting]

242
00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:40,375
[explosion]

243
00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:44,083
[Getafix laughs heartily] At last!

244
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:48,416
So, er, I've got bad news.
The druid's alive.

245
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,416
What?

246
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,333
Really? You saw him then?

247
00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:53,375
Yeah, but there's good news.

248
00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:55,333
He's nuts, completely crazy.

249
00:10:55,416 --> 00:10:57,750
He can't remember
how to make the magic potion.

250
00:10:57,833 --> 00:11:00,791
He makes potions to change colour and fly.

251
00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:02,000
Are you sure?

252
00:11:02,083 --> 00:11:04,041
Well, look at me! What do you think?

253
00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:05,916
Excellent!

254
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,375
[laughs]

255
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,625
Victory will be mine.

256
00:11:09,708 --> 00:11:12,666
- [rooster crows]
- [Geriatrix] What's taking him so long?

257
00:11:12,750 --> 00:11:15,958
[Vitalstatistix] I'm coming, I'm coming.
I'm here. Just warming up.

258
00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:17,041
Chop chop!

259
00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:19,208
One, two, one, come on!

260
00:11:19,291 --> 00:11:21,291
Give it more! That's pathetic!

261
00:11:21,375 --> 00:11:23,583
What is this? Get down, now!

262
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:26,583
- Huh? [groans]
- Get off that shield now, by Taranis!

263
00:11:26,666 --> 00:11:29,625
Your bearers don't fight.
It'll just be you!

264
00:11:29,708 --> 00:11:32,333
One, two, one, two, come on!

265
00:11:32,416 --> 00:11:34,708
- Knees higher, come on!
- [panting]

266
00:11:34,791 --> 00:11:36,458
Concentrate on your balance!

267
00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:39,166
One, two, one, two, come on!

268
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:40,791
So slow.

269
00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:43,000
Yeah. A bit lacklustre.

270
00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:45,625
- Come on, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!
- [panting]

271
00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:47,166
[sighs]

272
00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:48,833
[party blower blasts]

273
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:50,041
[laughs]

274
00:11:50,708 --> 00:11:52,666
[party blower blasts loudly]

275
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:53,833
- [laughs]
- [sighs]

276
00:11:53,916 --> 00:11:57,125
To think he's the only one
that could find a potion to cure him.

277
00:11:57,208 --> 00:11:59,375
Well, you know,
potions can't fix everything.

278
00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:01,708
Yeah. But hang on.

279
00:12:01,791 --> 00:12:05,500
{\an8}Didn't you once mention that a friend
of Getafix's cures people without potions?

280
00:12:05,583 --> 00:12:07,208
Oh, yeah! Apothika!

281
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:10,291
Oh, no, not that awful quack again, no!

282
00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:14,541
Yes! Our druid had an injury to the head,
and she is a doctor of the head.

283
00:12:14,625 --> 00:12:16,708
- [grunts]
- Quick, do some cardio.

284
00:12:16,791 --> 00:12:19,833
Apothika lives a few hours walk
from our village. So let's go!

285
00:12:19,916 --> 00:12:22,083
Chief, your wife is right.
We need Apothika.

286
00:12:22,166 --> 00:12:24,291
And you can tell her
about your eating disorder

287
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:25,250
while you're there.

288
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:28,666
Pidiped, I do not have an eating disorder.

289
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:29,666
So there.

290
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,916
Now if you don't mind,
I really must be on my way.

291
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,666
I have a village to save.

292
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:35,916
[groans]

293
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:37,500
[sighs]

294
00:12:37,583 --> 00:12:40,041
{\an8}- All right. You go, Obelix.
- [Asterix] What?

295
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:41,291
Yes, chief!

296
00:12:41,375 --> 00:12:44,833
Er, if anyone should go,
it really should be me.

297
00:12:44,916 --> 00:12:48,333
- Because I'm normally… the one who goes.
- Yeah, but this time ain't normal.

298
00:12:48,416 --> 00:12:50,333
- 'Cause the chief chose me to go.
- Yeah.

299
00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:52,375
- I prefer you to stay here…
- [cracks]

300
00:12:52,458 --> 00:12:53,458
…with us, Asterix.

301
00:12:53,541 --> 00:12:56,500
But it might be a bit
too much responsibility for Obelix, no?

302
00:12:56,583 --> 00:12:58,416
No, no. I'll be okay, thank you.

303
00:12:58,500 --> 00:12:59,958
- You'll be okay?
- More than okay.

304
00:13:00,041 --> 00:13:02,000
The chief said go alone, I don't need you.

305
00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:03,875
Maybe 'cause when you're on your own,

306
00:13:03,958 --> 00:13:05,958
you've a habit of throwing
menhirs at people.

307
00:13:06,041 --> 00:13:07,458
Oh, really, do I?

308
00:13:07,541 --> 00:13:09,250
It'd be better I went instead.

309
00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:12,333
It strikes me that you want to be
the only hero in this story.

310
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:13,416
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

311
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,333
- No, but no. But no.
- Yeah, but yeah. No.

312
00:13:15,416 --> 00:13:16,500
- No, you, no!
- You, no!

313
00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:18,333
- Me, yeah. You, no.
- Me, you? Me, yeah.

314
00:13:18,416 --> 00:13:19,625
- Me, yeah!
- Me, yeah!

315
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:21,666
- Me, yeah! You, no.
- Hey, you!

316
00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:23,708
You two give me such a headache.

317
00:13:23,791 --> 00:13:26,333
You shall both go! Your chief has spoken.

318
00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:28,000
- Hmm!
- [Obelix grumbles]

319
00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:31,125
- [sighs]
- [grunts]

320
00:13:31,208 --> 00:13:32,875
- [groans]
- Work on your core!

321
00:13:32,958 --> 00:13:36,375
["No Limit" by 2 Unlimited plays]

322
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:38,083
[breathing heavily]

323
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:43,041
[grunts]

324
00:13:44,666 --> 00:13:46,000
[grunts]

325
00:13:46,583 --> 00:13:48,666
- [chuckles]
- [Impedimenta chuckles]

326
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:57,166
- [straining]
- Dig deep now! Come on, come on!

327
00:13:57,875 --> 00:13:58,916
And one!

328
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,083
[sighs heavily]

329
00:14:00,166 --> 00:14:01,125
Lunch break?

330
00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:04,416
- Come on, try to hit me! Too slow!
- [grunts]

331
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:05,791
- [groans]
- Come on!

332
00:14:05,875 --> 00:14:07,041
[groans]

333
00:14:09,958 --> 00:14:11,583
[legionaries exclaim]

334
00:14:11,666 --> 00:14:13,125
[growls]

335
00:14:13,791 --> 00:14:16,083
- We are looking strong.
- Yep.

336
00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:19,958
I normally see the amphora half-empty,
but this time it doesn't look too…

337
00:14:20,041 --> 00:14:21,125
[groans]

338
00:14:21,666 --> 00:14:22,500
…bad.

339
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:25,541
This is pathetic! Where's your right hook?

340
00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,458
- [wheezes]
- Where's your guard?

341
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:31,583
That lad is a savage brute.
He will pulverize you!

342
00:14:31,666 --> 00:14:33,291
- [roars]
- [groans]

343
00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:35,708
[grunting]

344
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,291
[strains]

345
00:14:39,041 --> 00:14:41,833
[roars]

346
00:14:41,916 --> 00:14:42,875
[music stops]

347
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:44,500
Let's go again.

348
00:14:45,416 --> 00:14:46,291
Tomorrow?

349
00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:47,958
There's only today!

350
00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:49,708
There is no tomorrow!

351
00:14:49,791 --> 00:14:53,375
There is no tomorrow! [echoing]

352
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:55,583
[bats squeak]

353
00:14:59,625 --> 00:15:02,291
- [Dogmatix barks]
- [Obelix hums melodically]

354
00:15:02,375 --> 00:15:04,541
I'm wondering if bats are edible.

355
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:08,833
Seriously, Obelix? We're here to find
the woman who'll cure our druid.

356
00:15:08,916 --> 00:15:10,958
We're not here to eat bats.

357
00:15:11,041 --> 00:15:13,208
Which sounds like a terrible idea anyhow.

358
00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:14,208
Mmm.

359
00:15:14,291 --> 00:15:16,708
[Obelix continues humming]

360
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,250
[whines inquisitively]

361
00:15:20,625 --> 00:15:22,166
- [creature grunts]
- Hmm?

362
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:23,166
Hmm?

363
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:26,250
- [grunting]
- Huh?

364
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:28,583
[suspenseful ethereal music plays]

365
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:30,458
[creature grunts and squeals]

366
00:15:30,541 --> 00:15:31,625
[grunts]

367
00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:32,833
[squeals]

368
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,166
[squeals rapidly]

369
00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:38,416
He thinks he's a wild boar.

370
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:39,833
This Gaul's crazy!

371
00:15:39,916 --> 00:15:42,208
That's a good sign. We must be nearby.

372
00:15:42,791 --> 00:15:44,166
He's made me hungry.

373
00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:48,375
[whines and barks]

374
00:16:06,583 --> 00:16:07,625
[oinks]

375
00:16:08,375 --> 00:16:10,125
- Hmm?
- Hmm.

376
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,250
[Obelix chuckles softly]

377
00:16:13,041 --> 00:16:15,041
[music continues]

378
00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:23,458
[suspenseful music swells, fades]

379
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:28,250
[woman in German accent]
Enter, if you please.

380
00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:30,583
[Dogmatix whines nervously]

381
00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:40,708
- You may sit down.
- [Obelix] Hmm?

382
00:16:41,916 --> 00:16:44,541
Please forgive my accent.

383
00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:47,750
I'm a Goth.

384
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,583
[brooding classical music plays]

385
00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:03,083
[whines]

386
00:17:07,875 --> 00:17:09,750
[clears throat] Uh, the…

387
00:17:10,416 --> 00:17:13,875
The guy we saw just now,
does he still think that he's a wild boar?

388
00:17:13,958 --> 00:17:16,916
Why, of course.
I taught him how to behave.

389
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,125
It's less obvious.

390
00:17:18,208 --> 00:17:19,375
Ah.

391
00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:21,250
So, what brings you to me?

392
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:23,666
{\an8}- Getafix is very ill…
- Our chief asked me to come…

393
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:27,666
Er, forgive me, would you, <i>bitte?</i>
One of you speak.

394
00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:31,250
Yes, of course. Your friend Getafix
is sick and we're out of magic potion…

395
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:34,791
- Asterix takes over, again.
- Obelix, we're running out of time.

396
00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:35,833
No, no, carry on.

397
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:38,625
I'm the one who our chief sent,
but this keeps on happening.

398
00:17:38,708 --> 00:17:40,875
He always talks for both of us!

399
00:17:40,958 --> 00:17:43,791
He's okay with it when I finish
his sentences during a speech.

400
00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:46,458
"Asterix can talk for the both of us",
when it suits you.

401
00:17:46,541 --> 00:17:47,500
[flaps lips]

402
00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:50,041
Come, Obelix,
let's not row in front of her.

403
00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:54,541
Apothika, your old friend Getafix
has lost his wits, because Obelix threw…

404
00:17:54,625 --> 00:17:56,000
There we are, as usual.

405
00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:58,333
It's always the same,
always because of Obelix.

406
00:17:58,416 --> 00:18:00,791
Since I was a boy,
when I fell in the magic potion.

407
00:18:00,875 --> 00:18:03,458
- Look, it's 'cause of you we're here, no?
- Asterix.

408
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,875
You really must stop
reproaching him like this.

409
00:18:05,958 --> 00:18:08,166
- I don't always reproach him like this.
- You do!

410
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:09,500
It stops you communicating.

411
00:18:09,583 --> 00:18:11,583
You see, Asterix?
You stop us communicating.

412
00:18:11,666 --> 00:18:14,166
Okay, okay, you're right.
Sorry I have a view.

413
00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,541
Hmm. <i>Ja.</i>

414
00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:19,708
I know what this situation calls for.

415
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:24,000
- You are now Asterix.
- No, I'm Obelix, and he's Asterix.

416
00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:26,500
Pretend. It's a role play.

417
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:28,666
- It's a game.
- Ah. All right.

418
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:31,708
Describe yourself as if you're Asterix.

419
00:18:32,541 --> 00:18:34,625
As if I were, er…

420
00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:37,333
[clears throat] All right, here goes.

421
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:41,583
I am Asterix.
I'm the smartest warrior in the village.

422
00:18:41,666 --> 00:18:44,333
I am just so perfect.

423
00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:47,666
I don't eat much,
unlike Obelix who gobbles it down.

424
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:51,791
- Hmm. Interesting. Continue.
- No, no, no. Not interesting at all.

425
00:18:51,875 --> 00:18:55,291
We'll stop now. Apothika!
We're here for one reason, and that's all.

426
00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:59,375
Asterix, oh, the "reason".
But what <i>is </i>reasonable?

427
00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:03,208
Because you see, it could be
that losing control is reasonable.

428
00:19:03,791 --> 00:19:05,083
Losing control?

429
00:19:05,166 --> 00:19:06,375
I would adore that.

430
00:19:06,458 --> 00:19:08,250
I would love to lose control.

431
00:19:08,333 --> 00:19:11,666
I'd love to be carefree
and wonder if one could eat bats.

432
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,541
Oh, yeah. But I can't do that. Oh, no.

433
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:17,041
Because who plays bad cop
in this story? It's me!

434
00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:18,833
Yours trulix. Oh, yeah!

435
00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:22,166
It's Asterix who says, "Careful".
Asterix who finds solutions.

436
00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:24,625
Asterix who says "Let's go".
Asterix who does it all.

437
00:19:24,708 --> 00:19:28,375
{\an8}Because if Asterix isn't here,
nothing happens, ever! Nothing at all!

438
00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:29,708
{\an8}[panting]

439
00:19:30,291 --> 00:19:32,958
<i>Gut. </i>So now how do you feel?

440
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:34,666
- [shouting] Better!
- [Obelix gasps]

441
00:19:34,750 --> 00:19:35,791
Hmm.

442
00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:39,708
I really do. Yeah.

443
00:19:41,166 --> 00:19:44,041
Apothika, Getafix really needs you.

444
00:19:44,916 --> 00:19:46,416
We all really need you.

445
00:19:49,083 --> 00:19:52,375
<i>Das freut mich sehr, Obelix.</i>

446
00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:54,875
Okay.

447
00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:59,791
Are we going now? Or what?

448
00:20:01,041 --> 00:20:05,083
[foreman] Metadata? Deary me.
Deary, deary me! Metadata!

449
00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:09,333
- So tell me, what was your village like?
- Ugly.

450
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:12,333
- No columns, no aqueducts, thatched roofs.
- Ah.

451
00:20:12,416 --> 00:20:14,750
- So it was authentic.
- Ugly.

452
00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:16,500
Metadata, Caesar's arrived.

453
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:20,000
There's a crowd and lots of horses.
Loads of 'em. It's gonna be tight.

454
00:20:20,083 --> 00:20:23,458
I did tell you we had to cut down
more trees. Don't say I didn't warn you!

455
00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:24,875
Er, Caesar Caesar?

456
00:20:25,416 --> 00:20:26,750
[breathes and sniffs]

457
00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:28,541
Oof! [sighs]

458
00:20:28,625 --> 00:20:30,625
[bombastic fanfare plays]

459
00:20:31,958 --> 00:20:32,958
[music ends]

460
00:20:33,625 --> 00:20:35,625
Oh, just leave me alone.

461
00:20:35,708 --> 00:20:38,625
Fifteen days to get here,
and the plebs can't cook pasta.

462
00:20:38,708 --> 00:20:40,875
Such a very thoughtful birthday gift.

463
00:20:40,958 --> 00:20:42,916
Ave, Caesar. Good day, madam.

464
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,000
{\an8}- Yes, yes, hello.
- Was your journey good?

465
00:20:45,083 --> 00:20:48,708
We got held up in Lugdunum,
but on the whole it went extremely well.

466
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:51,208
Ave, Caesar!

467
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:54,500
And so, this is our champion,
Cassius Ceramix.

468
00:20:54,583 --> 00:20:56,333
[breathes deeply]

469
00:20:56,416 --> 00:20:58,625
You look taller than you do on coins.

470
00:20:58,708 --> 00:21:01,250
And so,
how is this fight looking now, Insta?

471
00:21:01,333 --> 00:21:02,833
My name's Metadata.

472
00:21:02,916 --> 00:21:04,291
Er, good, very good.

473
00:21:04,375 --> 00:21:05,333
Mmm.

474
00:21:05,416 --> 00:21:06,916
Are you about to succeed

475
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,000
where the best of men
have failed before you?

476
00:21:09,083 --> 00:21:12,250
Ugh, that's hardly a surprise.
I always wanted a daughter.

477
00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:14,875
I had to change the colour
of the mosaic in your nursery.

478
00:21:14,958 --> 00:21:16,916
- Took me three weeks!
- [sighs]

479
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:20,500
[cow lowing]

480
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:22,791
[cow grunts]

481
00:21:22,875 --> 00:21:24,208
All right then, Simon.

482
00:21:24,291 --> 00:21:26,875
Why don't you come to the salon
for a blow-dry next week,

483
00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:28,208
and I'll see what I can do.

484
00:21:28,291 --> 00:21:30,416
<i>Oh mensch, was ist passiert?</i>

485
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:32,416
Getafix, are you in there?

486
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,958
It's Apothika, your very good friend.

487
00:21:35,041 --> 00:21:37,666
<i>Geto? Erinnerst du dich mein, Geto?</i>

488
00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:40,208
[imitates German]

489
00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:43,416
<i>Oh, Gott. Interessant.</i>

490
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:45,791
[Getafix laughing]

491
00:21:45,875 --> 00:21:48,750
<i>Nach gut. </i>So how did he lose his reason?

492
00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:50,625
Er, he was hit by a menhir, like that.

493
00:21:51,958 --> 00:21:53,625
Obelix, what have you done?!

494
00:21:53,708 --> 00:21:55,625
She… She wanted to know! I showed her.

495
00:21:55,708 --> 00:21:57,208
- Yeah, but not like that.
- Oh.

496
00:21:57,291 --> 00:21:58,166
Get her out!

497
00:22:02,125 --> 00:22:03,541
Apothika, you okay?

498
00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:05,625
Quack, quack.

499
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:09,333
Look, there's nothing wrong
with her, is there?

500
00:22:10,875 --> 00:22:13,291
[lively classical theme music plays]

501
00:22:43,875 --> 00:22:46,291
ASTERIX & OBELIX: THE BIG FIGHT

502
00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:28,416
[musical arrangement turns
sweeping and sentimental]

503
00:25:48,041 --> 00:25:50,041
[upbeat Celtic folk music plays]

