1
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:15,583
{\an8}In your face, Captain Armorica!
2
00:00:18,625 --> 00:00:21,833
{\an8}Metadata,
haven't we walked enough tonight?
3
00:00:21,916 --> 00:00:24,833
{\an8}Just one last attraction to check, Potus.
4
00:00:24,916 --> 00:00:29,375
{\an8}Rostra coasters aren't my thing,
all that wind irritates my sinuses.
5
00:00:29,458 --> 00:00:32,833
{\an8}I actually prefer
coconut shy, hook-a-duck…
6
00:00:32,916 --> 00:00:34,291
{\an8}Who cares? Come on.
7
00:00:34,375 --> 00:00:37,750
{\an8}Oh, no, not water.
We'll end up soaking wet.
8
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:45,541
It's a Roman world
No, Gallic it is not
9
00:00:45,625 --> 00:00:49,625
Clap your hands, you must
Respect all of our laws
10
00:00:49,708 --> 00:00:53,958
It's a Roman world
Not an Egyptian world
11
00:00:54,041 --> 00:00:57,750
Nor Greek or African
It's just a world that's pure Roman
12
00:00:57,833 --> 00:01:01,750
In this Roman world
Oh wow, it is so nice
13
00:01:01,833 --> 00:01:05,750
A wonderful world
No, nothing can compare
14
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:10,125
If you don't like this
Then we will impose it
15
00:01:10,208 --> 00:01:13,916
We'll throw you to the lions
If you cause rebellion
16
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,916
Bread and circuses
Yes, that is our motto
17
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,958
What the crowds all want
Is to have a good seat
18
00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:25,041
It's a Roman world
Where everything is good…
19
00:01:25,125 --> 00:01:27,250
I'll never get this out of my head.
20
00:01:29,625 --> 00:01:32,291
ASTERIX & OBELIX:
THE BIG FIGHT
21
00:01:32,375 --> 00:01:34,583
{\an8}Hello, I'm Hannabarbera.
22
00:01:34,666 --> 00:01:36,708
{\an8}And I'm Blackangus.
23
00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:38,875
{\an8}Welcome to the Big Fight!
24
00:01:38,958 --> 00:01:42,083
{\an8}Blackangus,
tell us about the opposing teams.
25
00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:45,958
{\an8}On one side,
we have the Gaul, Vitalstatistix.
26
00:01:46,041 --> 00:01:50,333
{\an8}His strength rivals his courage.
Chief of the indomitable Gauls,
27
00:01:50,416 --> 00:01:54,500
{\an8}and he intends to stay that way
until the sky falls on his head.
28
00:01:55,333 --> 00:01:57,791
And maybe the sky's his toughest rival.
29
00:01:57,875 --> 00:02:01,416
{\an8}Yes, he'll be up against Cassius Ceramix,
a Gallo-Roman.
30
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:06,333
{\an8}That means a Gaul
who acknowledges Rome's greatness.
31
00:02:06,416 --> 00:02:10,333
{\an8}Whether it's his speed, impact, strength,
32
00:02:10,416 --> 00:02:14,375
{\an8}or simply his loyalty to Rome,
he's our champion!
33
00:02:14,458 --> 00:02:17,291
A showdown guaranteed to deliver action!
34
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:19,208
Absolutely, Hannabarbera.
35
00:02:19,291 --> 00:02:23,416
We're hoping to see
plenty of action, savagery, and cruelty.
36
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,250
Perfect for a family outing!
37
00:02:27,041 --> 00:02:30,458
Romulus is waiting for his parents
in the wolf pen.
38
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,541
I repeat, Romulus.
39
00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:37,666
At the end of this fight,
40
00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:41,750
the losing chief and his tribe
will surrender to the winner.
41
00:02:42,916 --> 00:02:45,958
No, I'll never surrender to a Gallo-Roman!
42
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,750
We're not there yet.
43
00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:49,291
We're not far off.
44
00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:51,625
Our druid is still out of his mind.
45
00:02:57,666 --> 00:03:01,083
With no magic potion,
you can't beat Cassius Ceramix.
46
00:03:01,166 --> 00:03:03,666
With a bit more training, I might…
47
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,541
Nonsense! Even I could do better.
48
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:09,000
Actually, why not?
49
00:03:09,083 --> 00:03:11,083
Pidiped, let's not go overboard.
50
00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:13,750
- He'd fall without his cane.
- Is that so?
51
00:03:13,833 --> 00:03:14,750
Ouch.
52
00:03:14,833 --> 00:03:18,041
No, what I mean is, why not change chiefs?
53
00:03:18,125 --> 00:03:19,750
What? Change chiefs?
54
00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:23,583
Yes, appoint someone who's sure to win.
55
00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:25,000
Obelix.
56
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,250
Are we allowed to?
57
00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:33,166
- Where is it engraved?
- Here.
58
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:36,208
- Article 49.3.
- Engraved in tiny letters.
59
00:03:36,291 --> 00:03:41,708
"If needed, the chief can be replaced
by any other member of the tribe".
60
00:03:42,833 --> 00:03:45,375
Okay, so we can make Obelix chief.
61
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:47,583
And why not me?
62
00:03:48,083 --> 00:03:49,375
Why not you what?
63
00:03:49,458 --> 00:03:51,291
Why not make me chief?
64
00:03:51,375 --> 00:03:55,125
Because Obelix is the strongest.
Aren't you listening?
65
00:03:55,208 --> 00:03:57,750
Stronger than this maybe?
66
00:03:58,291 --> 00:03:59,166
Well, yeah.
67
00:03:59,875 --> 00:04:01,291
Let the people decide.
68
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:04,791
My dear friends,
elect a blacksmith as village chief,
69
00:04:04,875 --> 00:04:07,416
to regain our strength and serenity!
70
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:10,500
Vote Fulliautomatix and forge your future.
71
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:11,958
Not if I can help it!
72
00:04:12,041 --> 00:04:13,291
You see? Thank you.
73
00:04:13,375 --> 00:04:16,333
This village needs
someone with experience.
74
00:04:16,416 --> 00:04:18,625
- No!
- And as a former chief…
75
00:04:18,708 --> 00:04:22,416
Here we go again with the same old people!
76
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:25,916
No, we Gauls want to see some fresh faces!
77
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,000
Then let's have a truly fresh face.
78
00:04:29,083 --> 00:04:31,500
- Like mine.
- I'm with you, sister.
79
00:04:31,583 --> 00:04:34,291
No, yes, I agree, maybe, but not now.
80
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,791
Wait, hold on.
81
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:39,791
Being chief means
having good people skills.
82
00:04:39,875 --> 00:04:42,250
- No, because…
- And as a fishmonger…
83
00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:43,791
Poisoner, more like!
84
00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:47,208
If I'm elected,
I'll move his shop to the next village.
85
00:04:47,291 --> 00:04:50,000
- Will you?
- Even further from the sea.
86
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,458
Wait, no, stop!
87
00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:55,875
No, no, no!
88
00:05:00,791 --> 00:05:02,958
It's almost time, Blackangus!
89
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:04,125
That's right.
90
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:07,833
The fight will be brutal,
and the crowd knows it.
91
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:11,541
That's for sure.
Blackangus, you've fought 95 battles.
92
00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:12,500
I sure have.
93
00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:16,458
Five Brennus Shields and 12 kills.
What about it?
94
00:05:16,541 --> 00:05:18,333
Quite a feat for a gladiator.
95
00:05:18,416 --> 00:05:23,125
I always tell aspiring youngsters
the toughest part is toughing it out.
96
00:05:23,208 --> 00:05:25,000
- Quick question.
- Yes?
97
00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:27,333
How do you prepare for such a fight?
98
00:05:27,416 --> 00:05:33,458
Well, you get focused, clear your mind,
and most importantly, stay calm.
99
00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:42,000
Excuse me.
100
00:05:44,208 --> 00:05:45,375
Excuse me.
101
00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:50,250
Sorry to bother you!
102
00:05:52,916 --> 00:05:54,875
I'm looking for your chief.
103
00:05:54,958 --> 00:05:56,208
Our chief?
104
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:57,875
For the fight.
105
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:01,958
Yes, the Big Fight, of course. Just a sec.
106
00:06:02,041 --> 00:06:05,416
Take your time.
I'll be waiting by the chariot.
107
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:06,708
Very well, thanks.
108
00:06:06,791 --> 00:06:09,333
- At the edge of the village.
- Right.
109
00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:12,875
Impedimenta's right.
110
00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:15,541
After the fish shop, the blacksmith…
111
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,083
We know where you are.
112
00:06:17,166 --> 00:06:18,291
Right behind.
113
00:06:18,791 --> 00:06:22,958
As I was saying, Impedimenta's right.
Our future is at stake.
114
00:06:23,041 --> 00:06:26,708
I'm willing to give up
my role as chief to Obelix.
115
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:29,458
Where is he anyway?
116
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,458
- No.
- What do you mean, no?
117
00:06:32,541 --> 00:06:35,166
No, Asterix is right.
118
00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:38,208
I've messed up enough.
You all deserve better.
119
00:06:38,291 --> 00:06:41,750
No, come on, Obelix.
It would be just for the fight.
120
00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:43,166
No, no, no.
121
00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:48,208
All I'm good for is delivering menhirs,
and even that, I manage to mess up.
122
00:06:48,791 --> 00:06:53,375
You're being appointed, not asked.
So now you're chief. End of story.
123
00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:56,208
All right.
124
00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:58,625
Fine.
125
00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:00,458
I accept.
126
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:02,583
Thank you, Obelix.
127
00:07:02,666 --> 00:07:04,416
And as chief,
128
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,500
I appoint Asterix as chief.
129
00:07:06,583 --> 00:07:07,791
What the…?
130
00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:11,041
I'm chief, I appoint you chief,
now you're chief.
131
00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:12,416
Okay, fine.
132
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:15,916
You know what?
As chief, I reappoint you chief.
133
00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:19,541
- I reappoint you chief.
- I re-reappoint you.
134
00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:21,500
- No, you, chief.
- You, chief!
135
00:07:21,583 --> 00:07:23,875
- Not allowed!
- I'm one chief ahead.
136
00:07:23,958 --> 00:07:25,041
You, chief!
137
00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:29,666
- Chief, chief, chief…
- Chief, chief, chief…
138
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:30,791
Enough!
139
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:32,583
Grow up already!
140
00:07:32,666 --> 00:07:34,583
- He started it.
- Not true.
141
00:07:34,666 --> 00:07:37,583
Obelix, you're our only hope.
142
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,625
You have to accept.
143
00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:45,500
Would I be able to open a wild boar shop?
144
00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:47,250
Of course, you'd be chief.
145
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,125
Will I have to make speeches?
146
00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:51,750
Not if you don't want to.
147
00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:53,458
And will Asterix stop…
148
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,791
Finishing your sentences? Yes.
149
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:57,916
All right then.
150
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,833
Long live Chief Obelix!
151
00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:04,791
Long Live Chief Obelix!
152
00:08:07,458 --> 00:08:09,333
I'm his coach.
153
00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,250
Long live Chief Obelix!
154
00:08:12,333 --> 00:08:13,291
Geriatrix,
155
00:08:13,375 --> 00:08:17,166
what do you think about my idea
to open a wild boar shop?
156
00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:18,500
It's good, yeah.
157
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,708
So you'd sell both menhirs and wild boar?
158
00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:26,291
We are now just hourglasses,
159
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:29,416
or should I say
grains of sand away from the fight.
160
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:34,833
The stands are slowly filling up,
but it's still a bit patchy.
161
00:08:34,916 --> 00:08:38,916
Hold on, Blackangus,
let's see who's almost at the red mosaic.
162
00:08:40,708 --> 00:08:42,458
Yes, it's him!
163
00:08:43,875 --> 00:08:46,750
- Caesar!
- Caesar!
164
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:53,500
What a handsome man.
165
00:08:58,708 --> 00:09:01,833
- Caesar!
- Over here, please!
166
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,375
Look here, please.
167
00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:09,250
- Ah, yes.
- That's it, awesome!
168
00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:12,625
He's really working those laurels.
How fabulous!
169
00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:17,750
Not to bow down or anything,
but he is extremely sculpturogenic.
170
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:20,833
You are kind of bowing though.
171
00:09:20,916 --> 00:09:23,125
Okay, fine, you got me.
172
00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:24,125
This way!
173
00:09:24,791 --> 00:09:27,083
Thank you, that's enough. Move along.
174
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,375
Last one!
175
00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:30,875
No, we're done. Caesar, come along.
176
00:09:30,958 --> 00:09:32,625
We didn't get enough time.
177
00:09:32,708 --> 00:09:34,083
I can't work like this.
178
00:09:34,166 --> 00:09:36,208
- Look. Over there.
- Who is it?
179
00:09:36,291 --> 00:09:37,833
- A celebrity?
- Cleopatra!
180
00:09:37,916 --> 00:09:39,250
Yes, it's her!
181
00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:41,458
- Cleopatra!
- Over here!
182
00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:44,166
- Look this way, please!
- Cleopatra!
183
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,541
Face forward too!
184
00:09:46,541 --> 00:09:48,583
Not just to the side, please.
185
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:50,958
This way, please.
186
00:09:51,041 --> 00:09:54,583
The referee Twinpix
is waiting for you inside.
187
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:56,000
For the weigh-in.
188
00:09:57,375 --> 00:10:01,083
Go ahead and step on the scales.
189
00:10:06,208 --> 00:10:08,541
Category, heavyweight.
190
00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:10,916
Really? And without Dogmatix?
191
00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:19,041
Look, Hannabarbera,
the Gauls have arrived for the funfair,
192
00:10:19,125 --> 00:10:21,958
and if I may, their worst nightmare.
193
00:10:23,041 --> 00:10:24,166
That's a good one.
194
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:36,750
Here's your woolly candy, kiddo.
195
00:10:36,833 --> 00:10:39,333
Full of sugar. It's good for children.
196
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:45,833
Come on, let's get bumping
in the bumper chariots!
197
00:10:45,916 --> 00:10:50,166
Cassius Ceramix's victory
would mark the total capture of Gaul.
198
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:53,833
Absolutely.
So we can expect a brutal showdown.
199
00:10:53,916 --> 00:10:55,583
The sweet smell of success.
200
00:10:55,666 --> 00:10:57,875
Well, I can't smell anything.
201
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:02,166
I lost my sense of smell
after that trident to the nose.
202
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:03,708
Anyway, I digress.
203
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:09,541
Prophetic Poultry!
Get your Prophetic Poultry here!
204
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:12,125
Yesterday's animals, tomorrow's news!
205
00:11:12,208 --> 00:11:15,958
With this week's
chick-sized real estate special,
206
00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:17,750
"Should you buy in Pompeii?"
207
00:11:17,833 --> 00:11:19,375
Well, obviously, yes.
208
00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:20,750
If I could afford it.
209
00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:24,666
A little hut below the volcano,
and you'd never see me again.
210
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,750
And a sound investment.
211
00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:28,833
I could be wrong, but I doubt it.
212
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:40,375
These seats
couldn't be more uncomfortable.
213
00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:42,625
Worst birthday ever.
214
00:11:43,291 --> 00:11:45,583
Pompey wouldn't do this to his mum.
215
00:11:46,208 --> 00:11:50,458
What's the difference
between Gallic men and women?
216
00:11:51,208 --> 00:11:52,875
Moustache length.
217
00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:57,250
Next on the agenda,
218
00:11:57,333 --> 00:11:59,875
after the loser hands over the shield,
219
00:11:59,958 --> 00:12:03,000
we thought we'd dine
in the Gallic village.
220
00:12:03,083 --> 00:12:06,833
My birthday dinner with the Gauls.
A dream come true.
221
00:12:06,916 --> 00:12:09,458
Yes, we've planned a Gallo-Roman menu.
222
00:12:09,541 --> 00:12:10,958
A fusion thing.
223
00:12:11,041 --> 00:12:14,083
Fusion?
Mixing great food with terrible food?
224
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,000
We'll talk about that later.
225
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:19,875
How about this one?
A wild boar in a toga walks into…
226
00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:21,625
Fastanfurius! Come here.
227
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:22,708
Tell you later.
228
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,666
Yes, everything's ready, O Caesar.
229
00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:29,291
Very good.
230
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:34,958
Little Anonymus, your parents
are waiting by the bumper chariots.
231
00:12:35,041 --> 00:12:37,791
- I repeat, little Anonymus.
- Hang on.
232
00:12:37,875 --> 00:12:40,750
Hold still while I finish my caricature.
233
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:42,208
There you go.
234
00:12:43,791 --> 00:12:45,708
He sure didn't hold back.
235
00:12:57,541 --> 00:12:59,208
Excuse me, O Caesar.
236
00:12:59,291 --> 00:13:02,708
Would you mind if we took a quick mosaic?
237
00:13:02,791 --> 00:13:04,583
Not at all. Go ahead.
238
00:13:35,708 --> 00:13:40,000
- People must ask to do this constantly.
- You know, it's all the rage.
239
00:13:41,916 --> 00:13:44,916
It's by two brothers
who run their dad's estate.
240
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,125
Very woody, fruity wine.
I'll give you a taste.
241
00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:52,250
Excuse me. Metadata, a small change.
I wrote it down.
242
00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:55,291
Hints of chestnut, sour and black cherry.
243
00:13:55,375 --> 00:14:00,416
Vitalstatistix has been replaced
by their new chief, someone named Obelix.
244
00:14:00,916 --> 00:14:02,750
Something less tannic.
245
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,375
Oh, no, not Obelix!
246
00:14:04,458 --> 00:14:06,708
Or is that "Obel-9"?
247
00:14:06,791 --> 00:14:10,416
I'm not sure if it's "ix",
or one and ten, making nine.
248
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,541
So what?
249
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:15,500
Obelix fell into magic potion
when he was a little boy.
250
00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:17,375
His strength is permanent!
251
00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:22,125
Oh, no. We're done for. Not Obelix.
252
00:14:22,875 --> 00:14:25,958
Or Obe-59.
253
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,083
Since L is 50.
254
00:14:29,041 --> 00:14:29,916
I don't know.
255
00:14:45,541 --> 00:14:47,041
Keep an eye on them.
256
00:14:47,125 --> 00:14:48,416
Chief.
257
00:14:50,666 --> 00:14:53,875
Well, you'll be full of energy now.
258
00:14:55,916 --> 00:14:58,041
Chief, let me help you.
259
00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:01,875
A snack for Obelix
before the meal… no, fight.
260
00:15:02,375 --> 00:15:05,875
I can't wait to get back to normal life.
261
00:15:05,958 --> 00:15:08,791
I'm actually starting
to like this new life.
262
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:11,541
- These Greek meatballs are good.
- What?
263
00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:15,083
There are veggies in them,
but they're good.
264
00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:17,875
No, what do you like about this new life?
265
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,708
I love not being chief.
266
00:15:19,791 --> 00:15:23,541
Being chief is
a lot of weight on your shoulders.
267
00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:25,500
My bearers always say so.
268
00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:28,500
I don't know, I feel lighter.
269
00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:31,583
More free time, I sleep better at night.
270
00:15:31,666 --> 00:15:34,750
But it's only been since this morning.
271
00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:39,875
Long enough to think Obelix
should stay chief even after the fight.
272
00:15:39,958 --> 00:15:43,208
What? No, wait. You can't be serious.
273
00:15:43,291 --> 00:15:45,166
Oh, I'm serious all right.
274
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:48,291
Using him as a fake chief to fight, fine.
275
00:15:48,375 --> 00:15:52,416
But he's not at all fit to run a village.
276
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,125
- I don't know.
- Well, I do.
277
00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:59,083
And I like his wild boar shop idea.
Think about it at least.
278
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,250
It's ridiculous.
279
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:02,041
- See you later!
- No, Chief…
280
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:03,125
Think about it.
281
00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:06,333
Think about it.
282
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,625
So I'm not fit to rule?
283
00:16:12,875 --> 00:16:15,375
I didn't exactly say that.
284
00:16:15,458 --> 00:16:17,708
You said exactly that.
285
00:16:18,375 --> 00:16:21,500
- And that I'm a fake chief.
- Yes, no, yes…
286
00:16:21,583 --> 00:16:22,916
- I said…
- Fake chief.
287
00:16:23,666 --> 00:16:26,208
Okay, fine, I said "fake chief".
288
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:29,583
But you don't expect
to stay chief forever?
289
00:16:29,666 --> 00:16:32,000
Maybe not forever, but why not a while?
290
00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:34,333
- For plenty of reasons.
- What?
291
00:16:34,416 --> 00:16:37,875
Does it bother you
that I'm calling the shots for once?
292
00:16:37,958 --> 00:16:39,333
With menhirs, kind of.
293
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:42,083
That's a low blow. Almost as low as you.
294
00:16:43,041 --> 00:16:45,208
The rest of my tribe support me.
295
00:16:45,291 --> 00:16:46,500
Your tribe?
296
00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:51,125
Well, forgive me for offending you,
O Great Chief Obelix.
297
00:16:51,208 --> 00:16:54,666
If you don't like it,
you know where the gates are.
298
00:16:55,166 --> 00:16:57,791
Wait, do you want me to leave?
299
00:16:57,875 --> 00:17:00,458
You're banishing me from your village?
300
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,958
You know what? Apothika was right.
301
00:17:03,041 --> 00:17:05,666
You're speaking for me yet again.
302
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,791
I'll be quiet.
If you have something to say, say it.
303
00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:10,125
You're banished!
304
00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:19,958
Your first big decision?
305
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,875
Please return to the arena.
306
00:17:40,958 --> 00:17:42,916
The fight is about to start.
307
00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:44,458
Thank you.
308
00:17:45,416 --> 00:17:47,625
Living in Armorica
309
00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:49,416
Dee, doo, dee
310
00:17:49,958 --> 00:17:51,166
Dee, doo, dah
311
00:17:52,916 --> 00:17:54,708
- You like it, Mummy?
- No.
312
00:17:54,791 --> 00:17:58,708
I'm still waiting for my bread.
Hello? Where's my bread?
313
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:05,916
- I'm chief.
- No, I am.
314
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,125
- No, I'm chief.
- No, I am.
315
00:18:08,208 --> 00:18:10,375
Look, kids, a real-life Gaul!
316
00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:13,000
They're a dying breed.
317
00:18:13,583 --> 00:18:14,708
I'm chief!
318
00:18:14,791 --> 00:18:17,791
- How about we both be chiefs?
- Yeah.
319
00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:22,708
- You're the best.
- You too.
320
00:18:22,791 --> 00:18:24,250
- You more.
- No, you.
321
00:18:24,333 --> 00:18:26,416
That's what friends are for, right?
322
00:18:36,208 --> 00:18:37,333
Hold it!
323
00:18:39,875 --> 00:18:41,000
You're good.
324
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:45,875
Getafix!
325
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:47,708
Apothika!
326
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:15,791
Hello!
327
00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:20,041
Hello again!
328
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:40,291
Go ahead, try your luck.
Knock one down and you win a figurine.
329
00:19:43,125 --> 00:19:44,166
Hurray!
330
00:19:44,708 --> 00:19:46,250
Well, you won.
331
00:20:02,625 --> 00:20:05,833
Wait. I'm told
that Vitalstatistix has been replaced
332
00:20:05,916 --> 00:20:08,208
by their new chief, Obelix.
333
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:09,833
What? Give me that.
334
00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:12,458
Oh, wait, I can't read.
335
00:20:13,791 --> 00:20:17,250
There goes the buccina.
And we're off, kids.
336
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:19,416
Let the show begin!
337
00:20:36,166 --> 00:20:37,458
Amazing!
338
00:20:37,541 --> 00:20:41,291
You know, that…
Hey, that still gives me goosebumps.
339
00:20:42,791 --> 00:20:45,875
Pompey's mum got the Venice lights
for her birthday,
340
00:20:45,958 --> 00:20:48,166
and all I get is a measly spark.
341
00:21:04,625 --> 00:21:05,625
Sorry?
342
00:21:05,708 --> 00:21:07,208
We didn't catch that.
343
00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:09,208
Oh, my bad.
344
00:21:09,291 --> 00:21:13,666
In the left corner,
in a green skirt and feathered helmet,
345
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:17,833
the pilum of Linoleum,
stronger than the Forum,
346
00:21:17,916 --> 00:21:21,500
smoother than marble,
the most Gallic of Romans,
347
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:24,416
the most Roman of Gauls…
348
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:29,000
Cassius Ceramix!
349
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,208
Now, that, we understood.
350
00:21:58,541 --> 00:22:01,375
And in the right corner,
351
00:22:01,458 --> 00:22:05,958
with his blue and white pants,
and red braids…
352
00:22:06,041 --> 00:22:08,375
It's your turn now, champion.
353
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:13,250
The Celtic cask, the menhir from Armorica,
354
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:17,416
Obelix!
355
00:22:19,083 --> 00:22:20,375
Obelix?
356
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:34,166
Don't forget. Tire him out.
Think about your footwork.
357
00:22:34,250 --> 00:22:35,750
Watch out for his right…
358
00:22:35,833 --> 00:22:38,916
- I'll just slap him.
- That'll work too.
359
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,458
Hey.
360
00:22:40,541 --> 00:22:43,875
I know him. He's hit me loads of times.
361
00:22:43,958 --> 00:22:46,625
Obelix, yoo-hoo!
362
00:23:02,708 --> 00:23:05,458
Gentlemen, come to the centre.
363
00:23:08,916 --> 00:23:11,458
Let me remind you of the rules.
364
00:23:11,541 --> 00:23:14,083
Feet, fists, neck, carpals, metacarpals,
365
00:23:14,166 --> 00:23:16,916
{\an8}humerus, ankles,
"what's up?", knees, head…
366
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,125
Anything goes.
367
00:23:19,208 --> 00:23:21,708
As in anything anything?
368
00:23:22,291 --> 00:23:25,833
This fight will last
until defeat or surrender.
369
00:23:26,625 --> 00:23:27,958
Defeat or surrender?
370
00:23:28,041 --> 00:23:31,166
Alas, back in my day, it was to the death.
371
00:23:31,250 --> 00:23:32,958
Blackangus, times change.
372
00:23:33,041 --> 00:23:36,333
I know, we aren't even allowed
animal fights now.
373
00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:38,625
Lion vs. elephant, banned.
374
00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:40,750
It was cruel for the animals.
375
00:23:40,833 --> 00:23:46,375
What? Giving them slaves to eat was cruel?
What is this world coming to?
376
00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:48,416
We're becoming more humane.
377
00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:51,583
But at what cost?
Being less cruel? Just asking!
378
00:23:53,333 --> 00:23:55,791
All right, well, hail Caesar.
379
00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:59,083
The one who's about to die salutes you.
380
00:23:59,166 --> 00:24:01,208
So, yeah, hail.
381
00:24:03,125 --> 00:24:04,458
Your turn, Obelix.
382
00:24:05,458 --> 00:24:06,375
For what?
383
00:24:06,458 --> 00:24:09,208
To give your speech. Let's hear it.
384
00:24:09,291 --> 00:24:10,458
Obelix!
385
00:24:10,541 --> 00:24:11,541
A speech?
386
00:24:14,500 --> 00:24:15,458
Asterix…
387
00:24:24,041 --> 00:24:25,000
This menhir…
388
00:24:26,750 --> 00:24:28,208
Oh, no, Obelix.
389
00:24:30,041 --> 00:24:31,708
That's it? Okay then.
390
00:24:32,750 --> 00:24:33,583
Gentlemen,
391
00:24:33,666 --> 00:24:35,666
{\an8}make it a good fight,
392
00:24:35,750 --> 00:24:40,166
{\an8}and when the buccina blows,
start fighting!
393
00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:10,916
One.
394
00:25:17,375 --> 00:25:18,250
Two.
395
00:25:22,166 --> 00:25:24,250
He didn't lay a finger on him.
396
00:25:24,333 --> 00:25:26,625
Not a punch, no bite, nothing!
397
00:25:26,708 --> 00:25:29,083
In my 27 years, I've never seen this!
398
00:25:29,166 --> 00:25:30,125
Four.
399
00:25:30,208 --> 00:25:31,375
Wake up!
400
00:25:31,958 --> 00:25:33,250
Get back up!
401
00:25:33,333 --> 00:25:34,208
Five.
402
00:25:37,083 --> 00:25:38,125
Six.
403
00:25:40,416 --> 00:25:41,291
Seven.
404
00:25:41,375 --> 00:25:43,458
This is ridiculous.
405
00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:45,875
- I can't believe my eye.
- Eight.
406
00:25:48,083 --> 00:25:49,250
Nine.
407
00:25:49,833 --> 00:25:51,250
Obelix!
408
00:25:52,708 --> 00:25:54,166
And ten!
409
00:25:54,833 --> 00:25:57,291
It's all over!
410
00:25:58,500 --> 00:25:59,583
I won?
411
00:26:04,791 --> 00:26:05,750
Hail Caesar!
412
00:26:48,125 --> 00:26:50,541
ASTERIX & OBELIX:
THE BIG FIGHT
413
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:20,000
Subtitle translation by:
James Preston