You don't get it?
You know that if he dies, your life is over?
Or are you an idiot who was born to break my heart? Tell me.
Sunny, listen to me carefully.
You have to wake up now, you hear? You fucked up my kid's life long enough.
Do the right thing and wake up.
Why did they put Zorro in max?
Go!
For the two weeks you're here, I need to start changing blocks and rooms?
Not two weeks. Probably life sentence.
Get off me, you homo.
A letter from your mum.
You said you don't have kids.
So you don't know there are no "good mothers".
The world raises your child, not you.
I didn't say I have no kids.
I had a girl. She got ill and died. So be thankful your kid's alive.
Does it ever go away?
What?
-Sunny's blood from my brain. -No, it doesn't.
So he tells her,
even in my best dreams,
I can't dream of dreaming about what comes out of your tits, officer.
Boom.
-That was better? -Much better. You need to feel the flow.
Got it.
Say,
did you tell your girl?
No, I don't see the point.
Truth has value.
Better set it straight. It will get more complicated later.
You've been talking for six months. You're slow.
-Did you come here to bring me down? -Heavens, no. I'm just saying.
And maybe at some point you'll tell your friends here that you're…
building a future.
That you'll be a professional funnyman.
-You think? They'll kick my arse. -Maybe, maybe not.
And anyway, Zorro knows.
And mum? She knows you'll be starring on parents' night?
Welcome to the young failures show of Ofek prison.
Wanna hear how I ended up in prison?
Yes!
The truth is,
I feel like telling you real stories, and lots of people asked about this one.
I've told it all over the place and been asked if it was true,
so today I'll tell you the real story.
Back then, I was doing drugs all the time.
I was a marginalised kid. They didn't know what to do with me.
It was a strange time.
Anyway, one day I went…
…to Ayalon shopping centre,
and there was a business card machine.
Remember those? These days, if anyone left you a business card,
you'd think they're perverts.
"This is my business card. I'm…"
So I made a business card, too, using that machine.
I wrote, "Dean, drug dealer."
I was just goofing around. "Bongs, ecstasy, acid…"
I really was a drug dealer, but I was messing around.
And I gave the cards to all kinds…
I had about 200 cards, and I gave them out to all the kids.
Then this undercover policewoman came along.
She caught many of these kids,
and all these North Tel Aviv kids grassed each other up.
They caught about 200 kids. And what did they find in each of their homes?
My business card.
You know the rest, how my mum put me in prison.
But the best part?
I became a dealer in prison as well.
But here it's for a higher purpose.
Right, Mansuri?
-You better not tell! -Why? Why are you embarrassed?
Love drives everyone crazy.
OFEK PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS:
LIZZIE SWEETHEART
LIZZIE AS: LIZZIE (SWEETHEART)
LITTLE MANSURI AS: MANSURI
Mansuri, tiny, what's wrong?
Lizzie, she broke my heart. The sweetheart broke my heart.
What happened?
Lizzie, Lizzie sweetheart, you haunt me in my dreams.
I dreamt that you put your breasts in my mouth
and out came a heavenly drink!
But Mansuri didn't give up.
Just give me one. I'll crumble it into her tea,
and she'll love me.
Dean, Zorro, please.
So he approached Officer Lizzie
and said, "Here's some sweet tea just the way you like it."
Lizzie figured out he had a liquid problem.
At first, she looked at Mansuri suspiciously.
And then less suspiciously, since Mansuri's such a cutie.
And then
she drank it.
However…
What can you do? The pill got the love all mixed up.
THE END
But there's more to prison than love stories.
There are also tales of love and courage.
For instance, I stopped smoking in prison,
and all thanks to my mum.
Trust me, guilt makes the world go around.
My mother, the reason I'm in prison. Yeah.
She called the police, told them I was a thief and a drug dealer.
She sent me cigarette cartons to ease her conscience.
So I ended up smoking more than my lungs could handle.
So Zorro, who I swear to you should be called Rabbi Zorrovsky
because he's such an excellent Jewish tradesman…
he said, "I'll tell you what, let's sell a cigarette."
So we sold one, and then another,
and then cartons,
and within a month, we became so rich
that we didn't even have time to smoke.
Did you tell him that Sunny is coming?
No, I'm trying to assign him to another cellblock.
Don't try. Do. He's dangerous. He'll murder my kid.
So if you wanna quit smoking, you better be loaded.
Okay, I promise to try.
Also, tell him he was amazing.
I'll tell him whatever you tell me to say.
So then the rabbi said, "If I forget thee, Jerusalem…"
and the groom broke the glass,
but then, instead of kissing his wife,
he kissed his mum.
-No way! -I swear.
The first slow dance was even worse.
I'll spare you the details.
Well, maybe it's acceptable on some continents.
-Okay, Dana, I've got practice. -Okay.
You got a game this week?
In Beersheba.
Oh.
Can I finally come and see you?
No. We suck.
Really, it's humiliating. I'll spare you the torture.
I don't understand. Do you lose every week?
My mum's off to Brazil to look for a new coach.
You won't recognize us after that.
I won't recognize you now either.
Nice comeback.
It wasn't a comeback.
It's just that…
Don't you…
don't you wanna know what I look like?
-I know what you look like. -Really? What do I look like?
-Pretty. -It's a matter of taste, isn't it?
I don't think so. Take me.
I'm ugly regardless of taste.
I know what you look like.
-Like what? -Like you said.
-Ugly. -Yeah. But that's fine.
A man should be just slightly hotter than an ape.
Okay, Dana, I'm hanging up. Tomorrow at four?
Only if you send me a photo.
A photo?
We haven't met and already an ultimatum?
You bet.
All right.
There was this dating phone hotline called "Cupid".
You would dial in and get to talk to girls.
Press 5 or 6 to change. You would get girls that sound like,
"Hi, hello."
"Who are you, sweetie?"
"I'm Aliza."
"Where are you from, honey?"
"Me? You tell me first."
Everyone there is an inmate.
Slowly, it turned into a prison chat room. Everyone set up conference calls.
"Hello?" Bunch of Arabs.
"Ey sijen?"
It means "Which prison?" in Arabic.
"Which prison?" "Hadarim."
"Can you call…" Someone. You get the idea.
So every inmate got himself a girlfriend.
It's hard for people on the outside to get a girlfriend, but every inmate has three.
And then I realized, what do women want? To know where you are.
And to be the centre of your life.
"You're my whole life, my love."
"Did you give my mum the smokes?"
What do you talk about all the time?
Don't know, she never shuts up.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Maybe I'll ask Chelli to get me a camera.
And if she gets us a camera,
what would you do with it?
We'll find a corner with no prison in it and make a bat mitzvah album.
Yeah.
My clothes suck, my haircut sucks, and I suck. What can I do?
Tell her the truth.
Yeah, right.
"And if it were true,
and the boy is not a virgin…"
Deuteronomy, chapter 22.
Verse… whichever.
I'm no virgin.
Tossing off isn't fucking.
Depends on who does it. No, Lusha? Isn't it all in God's hands?
Are you saying God tossed you off?
-Is that what you said? -Just kidding, Lushi. Relax, bro.
I hate it when you're uptight.
Just tell her the truth. What are you ashamed of?
Even if Chelli gets us a camera, where would you take the photo?
Why are you being so negative?
So who's the lucky girl?
Have you told her?
Why not?
How exactly would you put it?
"I'm not 16 yet, but I've lived 100 lives, and that's why I'll be a better person."
"A better person"? Years in the prison service and that's all you got?
That, and an ulcer.
No, but seriously, Dean, if she's cool, everything will be fine.
You want us to have a father-son talk?
Warden, I've been watching porn since I was 12.
A price above boobs.
The willy is the most suckable organ. Made to be sucked.
Smooth, taut, washed and peeled, ready for the…
Wait a minute, what is this shit? I've never had that much fun. What's up?
I paid for… Where are you at?
A man moaning sounds like he's helping a friend move.
"You never said it was the fourth floor, Yigal."
Like those girls who ask,
"Do you prefer Da-niel or Dani-el?" Just suck my dick, sweetheart.
Dean, your wife will be very happy, I'm sure.
I'm never getting married.
She'll end up losing her patience.
Girls have a short fuse. They're all nuts.
Except for you.
Except for me, a picture of sanity.
You really want a broken heart?
Go on, just tell her who you are.
Who am I?
You can see the bars behind you.
-We can't shoot here. You're in a cage. -Okay, then get closer and do a close-up.
What's a "lozap"?
Close-up. Just my face.
Bro, you're ugly.
-No choice. Better ugly than an inmate. -Just tell the truth. Don't be ashamed.
"So you know, Dana, these six months we've been talking,
I forgot to tell you just a tiny thing."
That I'm stupid, dumb, and have been in jail for three years now.
And my best friend smashed a girl's head with a rock.
By mistake.
And that your mum hates you, and that she grassed you up.
"And even if tomorrow I get out of prison and become a law-abiding citizen,
if someone pisses me off, I'll stab him,
and you, too, if you don't suck me off like a nice slut."
Oh, who needs this shit, trust me.
Come on, Dean. Smile.
Wow.
You're looking to see if she sent you a cheque?
He's afraid she'll turn out to be ugly.
I'm not afraid.
You can tell from a woman's voice. What did you hear?
He heard a washing machine.
-Oh, fuck it. -There you go.
Go on, tell me how it went. How did you do it?
-It was nothing. -Come on! Do I look like I'm scared?
How did you stand on that stage all alone?
Know what I was thinking during the show?
What?
What's funnier, that your folks didn't come
or that mine left halfway through?
Guard!
-You know what? Forget it. -Just give it to him.
Go on, pal, give it to him.
Take good care of it, eh? It's for a girl.
What's wrong? You all right?
What is it?
Nothing.
"Nothing"?
Do you know him?
That's Sunny Bracha.
-You think he's here to make trouble? -Yes, very much.
What kind?
He's here to kill me.
You're overreacting, Rabbit.
I'm telling you, Sunny has true evil in him.
Not like yours that strikes like lightning, then goes.
He's here to take revenge.
Don't worry. Relax. We'll protect you.
I'll protect you.
You won't talk to him?
He'll come when he's ready.
-I don't like his look. -White hoodlums are evil.
No worries.
-We can take him down. -I'll handle the shanks and the fire.
We'll have a barbecue party, burn tyres.
Chill.
We're not doing anything.
Hey, you.
Come here a sec.
Where do people here go if they want to be alone?
There's no "alone". It's a prison.
No jobs where nobody's watching? Without guards?
Hey there, I'm Sunny.
So I've heard.
I've been sent to replace you.
-Let's go. -To what do we owe this blessing?
No blessing. We're replaced, so we go, dummy.
Zorro.
I assume
Dean told you about our history. I'd like to pass on a message through you.
I'm seeking peace, not revenge.
I'm just afraid to go near him.
Just tell him to meet me alone somewhere,
so we can talk quietly, without all this tension around.
You're in prison. There's no "alone".
So I've heard.
Yeah.
-Here, Lusha. -Over here, Lusha!
Sunny Bracha approached me.
For real? What did he say?
He said he wants to make peace with you.
That arsehole.
We need to be careful.
He can set up a hit real quick.
-Is he the murdering type? -Yeah.
But this is his first collar. He always stays clean.
How is that possible? Sounds fishy. Pass the ball.
Play.
No way he's clean.
-Let's get his protocol. -How?
Best of luck to us.
May God bless us.
-Amen. -Let's go.
Will it work?
I heard her husband's a gambling addict.
You know gambling is the toughest addiction?
We should send Officer Eden some chocolates.
And a new husband.
That's a must.
First, we'll discuss the more serious of the two charges.
Your Honour, the defendant was caught holding cocaine with intent to sell.
The defendant, Sunny Bracha,
not only broke into the home of a special forces deputy commander,
but also wounded his son while they tried to apprehend him.
I told you, he was always an idiot.
Your Honour, the defence requests leniency in the sentencing of my client.
For the past three years, Sunny has aided the police
in the arrest of several leading organized crime figures in Tel Aviv.
The motherfucker's a prosecution witness.
For over three years, my client has been cooperating with the police
in building a case against the convicted criminal Dean Shaiman.
"A cheap thug, violent, rude to his own family."
"He deserves to die in prison."
Not only that, but my client also nearly paid for this with his life.
During an undercover police operation,
Dean Shaiman stabbed my client, leaving him bloody and unconscious.
Sunny Bracha nearly paid with his life to build the case against Shaiman.
Cellblock B, line-up in five minutes.
-Hello? -Mum.
Dean, sweetie, what's wrong?
You're back?
Yes, I got back yesterday. Is everything okay?
Yeah.
What's wrong?
Sunny Bracha arrived in prison.
I know. Did he get to you?
Yeah.
Don't worry. We settled our beef.
You're sure? He's real scum.
Yeah, I'm sure.
You need me to call Chelli to try and get him moved elsewhere?
No, it's cool. It's gonna be fine.
Okay, then what is it?
I'm not used to you calling me.
That's what all the girls say.
No, I just…
-I read his protocol. -What "protocol"?
His case file, which says
he's the one who grassed me up to the cops about the drugs.
It wasn't you.
Hello?
I'm here.
You told the truth.
I did.
Sunny set me up for the thefts, the drugs, everything.
When you called them, they already had info on me like I was some mafia boss.
I'm sorry I'm such a shit, Mum.
If you weren't such a shit, I wouldn't love you so much.
Bye, sweetie.
Sunny.
Sunny. Come with us.
What am I, your bitch?
-Tell me when to stop. -Stop.
-Stop? -Yeah.
You motherfucker!
-Look at me! -Get off me, you fucker!
I'm not kidding! Get off me!
-Motherfuckers! -Turn him over.
I'll fuck you up!
Dean, you fucker!
-Get off me, I'm serious. -Give us your hand.
That's it.
-Now, let's go. -Dean, you motherfucker!
-Motherfucker! -Shut up!
What's your problem? Let me go!
Man, help me out, man.
Dean, you motherfucker!
-Get in here. -You fucker.
Get in!
You son of a bitch.
You fucked me up good.
You fucked up my mum's life.
You grassing son of a bitch!
What do you want from me, you fucker?
Shut up!
I read your court protocol, you loser.
-Say you're sorry already! -What for, you arsehole?
You sold me to the police!
Dean, they asked questions and made offers.
It was survival, not selling you out. You'd do the same.
Dean, hold on, I apolo…
I apologize. Cut it out.
We're brothers. You've humiliated me. Look at me.
Dean, don't say I'm a grass, I'm begging you.
They'll beat the shit out of me. I'm begging you.
What are you doing? Dean!
-Shut up! -Dean, come on! I'm not kidding!
Dean, please. What do you want from me? Huh?
I gave you tons of warnings. You didn't listen.
I'm sorry. I swear to you that I'm sorry, Dean. Wait.
Dean. Please, I'm sorry, Dean.
I swear to you that I'm sorry.
Dean, come on, I'm sorry.
From this day on, you do as I say.
Your friend is dead.
Thanks for agreeing to meet me.
You were here 20 years ago, right?
Yes.
So you're
still not in touch with him?
No.
Nothing? No visits? You…
you haven't spoken to him in 20 years?
No.
He hasn't contacted you? Hasn't called?
-No. -No.
You're stubborn, eh?
I wanna tell you, in all honesty,
that he cared about you more than anything.
All he'd talk about was how he wanted to get out and
come straight to you and make you forgive him.
I've brought you
tickets to my show. It's a
sort of stand-up.
Have you heard of stand-up? It's meant to be funny.
I'll be glad if you'd come. It's in Tel Aviv.
I'll also leave you my number, just in case you do hear from him.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
-Bye, see you later. -See you later.
Didn't your name used to be Dean?
Yes.
Subtitle translation by: Lior Hadar