1 00:00:17,563 --> 00:00:19,443 -Good morning. -Morning. 2 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:23,228 -"Take every opportunity." -Yes. 3 00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:24,313 "Targets." 4 00:00:24,938 --> 00:00:27,438 Well done, Bean. You have put your MBA to use here, too. 5 00:00:27,521 --> 00:00:28,651 It's nice. 6 00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:31,810 So, how much time do you have to complete these targets? 7 00:00:31,896 --> 00:00:33,686 I mean, how long do I have a roomie? 8 00:00:33,771 --> 00:00:36,901 The first month, Mom will convince Dad that everything is fine. 9 00:00:36,980 --> 00:00:41,810 The second month, they both will emotionally blackmail me in their own way. 10 00:00:42,396 --> 00:00:45,146 -The third month-- -Your mother will come to take you home. 11 00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:46,400 Exactly. 12 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:52,270 So I have three months only which, basically, is no time at all. 13 00:00:52,355 --> 00:00:57,055 Three months? It takes me longer to discard milk cartons from the fridge. 14 00:00:57,146 --> 00:00:57,976 Gross. 15 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:04,856 ...by the time it's thrown, it's turned into cottage cheese. 16 00:01:07,521 --> 00:01:08,771 Okay, one minute. 17 00:01:09,355 --> 00:01:10,765 Cottage cheese is relatable. 18 00:01:11,396 --> 00:01:15,806 Sir, don't you think due to the present political situation, 19 00:01:15,896 --> 00:01:17,556 there's a lot of pressure on tea-sellers? 20 00:01:17,646 --> 00:01:20,016 Every customer must be looking at you and wondering, 21 00:01:20,105 --> 00:01:22,855 "What if he is the next prime minister of our country?" 22 00:01:31,730 --> 00:01:34,110 So, any Dadarians in the house? 23 00:01:34,188 --> 00:01:37,978 You know, people who live in Dadar. They should have a name too, right? 24 00:01:38,063 --> 00:01:41,313 Like Dadri or Dadrite. 25 00:01:41,938 --> 00:01:43,308 Listen, I'm getting down here. 26 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:48,523 Have you ever noticed how parents are never happy? 27 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,560 In the film Baghban, they were not happy. 28 00:01:51,646 --> 00:01:53,606 In Hum Saath-Saath Hain, they were unhappy. 29 00:01:53,688 --> 00:01:57,438 In Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, they were always sad. Never happy! 30 00:02:00,021 --> 00:02:03,021 Excuse me, ma'am? Is there a reason you're not laughing? 31 00:02:03,105 --> 00:02:06,145 Is the joke too dark or not topical enough? 32 00:02:06,230 --> 00:02:08,270 Did you not find it relatable? 33 00:02:08,813 --> 00:02:11,233 How can it not be relatable? We all have parents. 34 00:02:11,313 --> 00:02:12,443 They're getting divorced. 35 00:02:13,730 --> 00:02:17,360 Dude, you don't single out audience members and take feedback. 36 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,648 The laughter, that's your feedback. 37 00:02:19,730 --> 00:02:21,980 Right. I don't do that anymore. 38 00:02:22,063 --> 00:02:24,483 -Good, 'cause that was damn desperate. -Yeah. 39 00:02:24,563 --> 00:02:25,653 I have this now. 40 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:29,226 Excuse me. Could you fill this, please? 41 00:02:29,313 --> 00:02:30,613 Excuse me. Can you fill this up? 42 00:02:30,688 --> 00:02:32,148 Hindi, English, either would do. 43 00:02:42,271 --> 00:02:45,441 Make sure to get out of the train alive! 44 00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:48,110 And laughter! 45 00:02:49,230 --> 00:02:53,150 As a kid, I used to think that my mother loved her kitchenware more than me. 46 00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:55,940 -How long has this been going on? -An hour and 12 minutes. 47 00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:58,481 But if I forgot my lunch box at school... 48 00:02:58,563 --> 00:03:01,523 And laughter, laughter, laughter! 49 00:03:16,271 --> 00:03:19,901 -Yes, Mom, what happened? -I've made pan-fried eggplant today. Come! 50 00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:22,560 Pan-fried eggplant. What's the occasion? 51 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:27,811 Our daughter's life getting ruined or my dreams being buried? 52 00:03:27,896 --> 00:03:30,726 Dad, you are on speaker. I can hear everything. 53 00:03:30,813 --> 00:03:32,903 Your dad's just joking. 54 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,440 No, I am not joking. 55 00:03:34,521 --> 00:03:38,561 My BP has shot up so much, you can soon come tell jokes at my funeral. 56 00:03:38,646 --> 00:03:40,436 Mom, I will call you later. Okay? 57 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,021 -Okay, bye. -Hey, one minute. 58 00:03:42,105 --> 00:03:45,645 Tell me, when you perform at these shows, 59 00:03:45,730 --> 00:03:47,810 -do people really laugh? -Yes. 60 00:03:47,896 --> 00:03:50,436 On an average, how many of them laugh? 61 00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:53,311 Like, if there are 50 people there, how many would laugh? 62 00:03:53,396 --> 00:03:55,106 -Mom! -Twenty? 63 00:03:55,688 --> 00:03:58,058 -Mom. -Okay, one last question. 64 00:03:59,355 --> 00:04:01,645 Do they laugh at you or with you? 65 00:04:02,313 --> 00:04:03,313 Bye, Mom. 66 00:04:05,605 --> 00:04:09,685 My dear... Hey, this is not for you. There's a kitty party this evening. 67 00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,691 Shruti! You didn't cancel the party? 68 00:04:11,771 --> 00:04:14,731 Our daughter broke off her engagement and you are partying? 69 00:04:14,813 --> 00:04:16,483 That's why I didn't cancel it. 70 00:04:16,563 --> 00:04:19,563 The plan is to show everyone that everything is fine. 71 00:04:19,646 --> 00:04:21,106 Your plan is of no use. 72 00:04:21,646 --> 00:04:25,516 Now only the astrologer can save us. Do you understand? He can see everything. 73 00:04:25,605 --> 00:04:28,435 Past, present, future, everything. 74 00:04:28,521 --> 00:04:30,151 Hey, there you are. 75 00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:31,940 There's your phone. 76 00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:35,231 I thought maybe it was broken, but I guess it was just us. 77 00:04:35,313 --> 00:04:38,023 Us. Broken. I'm kidding. 78 00:04:38,105 --> 00:04:39,265 Working a lot, huh? 79 00:04:39,355 --> 00:04:42,055 Not now, Ravi, okay? I'm very stressed out right now. 80 00:04:42,146 --> 00:04:44,646 -Yeah, this comedy stuff? -Yeah. 81 00:04:44,730 --> 00:04:47,310 Hey, listen... Yeah, this confirms it. 82 00:04:47,396 --> 00:04:50,766 People are very concerned about you. They're afraid you're going nuts. 83 00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:54,105 I'm not concerned with the concerns of the people at the club. 84 00:04:54,188 --> 00:04:57,108 I'm concerned with my career and with these evaluation forms, 85 00:04:57,188 --> 00:05:01,308 which I have to go through by evening, where people don't care for my remarks, 86 00:05:01,396 --> 00:05:05,396 find my content not relatable, and think I'm... scary. 87 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,270 In capital letters, this woman thinks I'm scary. 88 00:05:08,355 --> 00:05:09,975 -Yeah. -I'm scary? You think I'm scary? 89 00:05:10,063 --> 00:05:11,523 This is what you get from me? 90 00:05:11,605 --> 00:05:14,105 She thinks you're scary. I think you're losing it. 91 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:17,558 Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna take a day off. Okay? 92 00:05:17,646 --> 00:05:20,686 'Cause you're definitely going nuts. We're going to take one day off. 93 00:05:20,771 --> 00:05:22,401 -Okay, no. -You need some time off. 94 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,650 -Ravi, don't do that. -Just one day. 95 00:05:24,730 --> 00:05:26,560 What's your problem? Where do you wanna go? 96 00:05:26,646 --> 00:05:28,686 I don't know. We'll see where the road takes us. 97 00:05:28,771 --> 00:05:30,111 What... Don't touch... 98 00:05:30,188 --> 00:05:32,558 Ravi, the road takes us to the gutter. You fool! 99 00:05:32,646 --> 00:05:34,806 Ravi, I swear to God, if anything happens to my... 100 00:05:37,688 --> 00:05:38,808 {\an8}The second daughter, too? 101 00:05:38,896 --> 00:05:41,606 -Yes. Yours? -Well, I had the same problem. 102 00:05:41,688 --> 00:05:45,938 My daughter had lost it. Now my son has gone crazy. 103 00:05:46,438 --> 00:05:49,398 He says he wants to quit MBBS and make bowls! 104 00:05:50,146 --> 00:05:53,606 Now, you tell me, whether it is ceramic or pottery, 105 00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:55,438 a bowl is a bowl, right? 106 00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:59,145 -Is this your first time here? -Me? Yes. 107 00:05:59,230 --> 00:06:03,400 Has your daughter brought shame upon you or is it your son? 108 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:04,980 It is just a small problem. 109 00:06:05,563 --> 00:06:09,483 My daughter left her fiancé and ran off from her engagement. 110 00:06:10,855 --> 00:06:12,015 To be a comedian. 111 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:13,765 -Comedian? -Yes. 112 00:06:13,855 --> 00:06:16,725 -Sushil Khedekar. -Yes, ma'am. That's me. 113 00:06:16,813 --> 00:06:20,693 But can you call him first, please? His problem is more serious. 114 00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:21,981 Please call him first. 115 00:06:22,063 --> 00:06:24,063 -Thank you. -Your daughter is like my daughter. 116 00:06:24,146 --> 00:06:25,646 -Okay. -Please go. 117 00:06:25,730 --> 00:06:29,230 -Shruti, are you taking care of yourself? -Yes. 118 00:06:29,313 --> 00:06:33,233 Look, Shruti, it is all a matter of destiny. 119 00:06:33,896 --> 00:06:35,356 Don't blame yourself. 120 00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,648 Blame? For what? 121 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:42,810 Beanie has our full support. If she wants to do comedy, so be it. 122 00:06:43,355 --> 00:06:44,855 Have you ever heard her jokes? 123 00:06:45,688 --> 00:06:47,108 You will laugh till you cry. 124 00:06:47,188 --> 00:06:48,478 But have you ever thought-- 125 00:06:48,563 --> 00:06:54,023 That Beanie is an amazing girl, who is living life on her own terms. 126 00:06:54,855 --> 00:06:56,895 Yes. And we are very proud. 127 00:06:57,730 --> 00:06:59,560 You are really sorted, Shruti. 128 00:07:00,355 --> 00:07:03,515 That means you won't be needing this, right? 129 00:07:03,605 --> 00:07:04,765 What do you mean? 130 00:07:04,855 --> 00:07:08,895 Well, we thought since Vasant and you are going through tough times, 131 00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:10,650 this time you should get the kitty. 132 00:07:11,813 --> 00:07:14,903 -Thank you. -That too with 5,000 rupees extra. 133 00:07:14,980 --> 00:07:18,310 But looks like you don't need our charity. You are perfectly fine. 134 00:07:24,105 --> 00:07:26,935 This is fun. Never been on a bus in India before. 135 00:07:27,021 --> 00:07:29,861 -You know a fun fact about buses in India? -Yeah? 136 00:07:29,938 --> 00:07:34,148 Most people on buses spend their lives trying to get off the buses in India. 137 00:07:34,230 --> 00:07:36,980 Even the smells are romantic. What is that, like, saffron? 138 00:07:37,063 --> 00:07:38,773 Jasmine? Jasmine. 139 00:07:39,771 --> 00:07:40,861 It's him. 140 00:07:44,646 --> 00:07:46,396 -Yes, Mom. -Beanie dear. 141 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:50,230 These open microphones that you go to, do you perform there for free? 142 00:07:50,980 --> 00:07:55,810 Yes, but when I get good, money will soon follow. 143 00:07:55,896 --> 00:07:57,806 Yes, of course, dear. 144 00:07:57,896 --> 00:08:00,646 But I hope you haven't broken your fixed deposits? 145 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,730 No, I am managing with my savings now. 146 00:08:02,813 --> 00:08:04,733 How long will you survive on that? 147 00:08:05,563 --> 00:08:07,063 You must be struggling, right? 148 00:08:07,146 --> 00:08:10,186 No, Mom, it's not yet a problem, but it might be soon. 149 00:08:10,271 --> 00:08:12,981 And which is why I need to get back to work. 150 00:08:13,063 --> 00:08:14,023 Right. 151 00:08:15,188 --> 00:08:18,478 Okay, bye, Mom. I will talk to you later. 152 00:08:21,813 --> 00:08:23,113 -Check them. -Yes. 153 00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:27,770 Shruti, is everything okay? 154 00:08:28,771 --> 00:08:30,361 You looked worried on the call. 155 00:08:30,438 --> 00:08:33,438 -Was it Beanie? -No. Beanie is perfectly fine. 156 00:08:34,563 --> 00:08:40,313 She is performing at open microphones. That's what these comedy shows are called. 157 00:08:40,396 --> 00:08:42,186 Earns good money. 158 00:08:43,855 --> 00:08:47,605 But Vasant's nephew Rohit... 159 00:08:48,688 --> 00:08:50,268 He has met with an accident. 160 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,730 And he needs surgery. 161 00:08:54,396 --> 00:08:58,226 His father has recently retired. 162 00:08:59,396 --> 00:09:02,016 I don't know how they will pay the bills. 163 00:09:06,188 --> 00:09:09,358 Shruti, if you don't mind, we can help. 164 00:09:10,063 --> 00:09:10,903 Take it. 165 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,650 Thank you. 166 00:09:17,855 --> 00:09:18,855 Poor Rohit. 167 00:09:19,605 --> 00:09:21,855 I'll tell you what, let's do an improv exercise. 168 00:09:21,938 --> 00:09:22,768 -What? No. -No. 169 00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:25,855 Pick-up lines in a cab. You go first. No, I'll go first. 170 00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:31,231 Are you a cab? 'Cause I would pay to be inside you. 171 00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:35,021 -What? That's gross! That's offensive. -No. 172 00:09:35,105 --> 00:09:38,185 -It's good is what it is. -No, it's probably criminal or something. 173 00:09:38,271 --> 00:09:41,191 No, it's good improv. And it probably is a good pick-up line. 174 00:09:41,271 --> 00:09:43,021 You probably wanna have sex with me now. 175 00:09:43,105 --> 00:09:44,265 -Your turn. -What? I do not. 176 00:09:44,355 --> 00:09:46,555 Maybe you do. Your turn. Beat that. 177 00:09:46,646 --> 00:09:47,686 Oh, my God. 178 00:09:48,605 --> 00:09:49,555 Go! 179 00:09:49,646 --> 00:09:53,226 Hey, are you a cab? 'Cause I fucking hate this game. 180 00:09:54,188 --> 00:09:56,438 That's good. I mean, are you flirting with me? 181 00:09:56,521 --> 00:09:57,901 What? No. How? 182 00:09:57,980 --> 00:10:00,900 I don't know. I'm picking up on a real will-they-won't-they vibe. 183 00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:06,440 I think it's more like a he-will-she-will-not-ever vibe. 184 00:10:07,438 --> 00:10:11,148 It's funny, that's how Friends started. Rachel and Ross. 185 00:10:11,813 --> 00:10:15,983 And then, I don't know if you saw how it ended, but they had sex. 186 00:10:17,813 --> 00:10:19,613 Big time. Lot of times. 187 00:10:20,730 --> 00:10:21,900 Just saying. 188 00:10:22,646 --> 00:10:25,606 -There's a smile, see? -You're evil. 189 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,230 What's going on? Why are we stopping? 190 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,020 The bus has broken down. The bus stop is ahead. 191 00:10:35,105 --> 00:10:36,685 The next bus is in 45 minutes. 192 00:10:36,771 --> 00:10:38,441 What's he saying? Why's he talking to us? 193 00:10:38,521 --> 00:10:41,191 We have to get off because the bus is not working. 194 00:10:41,271 --> 00:10:44,061 -What? We're in the middle of nowhere! -Come on. 195 00:10:44,146 --> 00:10:45,606 They got two bus drivers in there? 196 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,108 -Oh, God. -One just to tell you when it breaks down? 197 00:10:51,396 --> 00:10:53,186 Great, there's no network here. 198 00:10:55,146 --> 00:10:57,356 -I don't have anything either. -Shit. 199 00:10:57,438 --> 00:10:59,558 Anyway, let's just enjoy. This is nice. 200 00:10:59,646 --> 00:11:00,896 This is shit. 201 00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:02,270 -This is nature... -Oh, my God. 202 00:11:02,355 --> 00:11:05,015 -No, that's shit. Jesus! -This is sewage. Such an American. 203 00:11:05,105 --> 00:11:05,935 That's gross. 204 00:11:06,855 --> 00:11:11,105 We have a daughter: Beanie. She wants to be a stand-up comedian. 205 00:11:11,188 --> 00:11:12,608 Stand-up comedian! 206 00:11:16,146 --> 00:11:20,306 Stand-up comedy is no good. There's no money in it. 207 00:11:20,396 --> 00:11:25,146 Don't worry. God has a solution for every problem. 208 00:11:25,230 --> 00:11:26,520 Yes. 209 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:30,981 But how much would finding this solution cost? 210 00:11:31,063 --> 00:11:33,523 Well, a bright future is priceless. 211 00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:38,145 -You mean this is free? -It's not free! No, no, no. 212 00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:45,440 In your case, what you need is our special premium package. 213 00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:47,690 Only 25,000 rupees! 214 00:11:47,771 --> 00:11:51,481 -Twenty-five? -And your daughter will get married! 215 00:11:53,188 --> 00:11:57,558 Twenty-five is a lot, you know. Tell me a reasonable price. 216 00:11:59,105 --> 00:12:00,105 I... 217 00:12:01,646 --> 00:12:02,646 I can pay 10,000. 218 00:12:02,730 --> 00:12:04,400 Oh, not ten. 219 00:12:05,521 --> 00:12:07,401 Okay, let's settle for 15,000. 220 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,646 -Twelve. -Thirteen, and it is done. 221 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:14,810 And you will have a grandson in a year. Guaranteed. 222 00:12:14,896 --> 00:12:16,106 -Really? -Guaranteed. 223 00:12:16,188 --> 00:12:17,518 A grandson, too. 224 00:12:17,605 --> 00:12:20,185 Amazing! Done deal. Thirteen. 225 00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:21,311 -Thirteen. -Thirteen. 226 00:12:21,396 --> 00:12:22,806 -It's settled. -Yes. 227 00:12:24,355 --> 00:12:27,895 -Okay, shall I leave? -What about the money? 228 00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:31,400 Oh, yes. Money... Of course. 229 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,190 You have to pay before you leave. 230 00:12:42,438 --> 00:12:45,978 Find us a match made in heaven 231 00:12:46,063 --> 00:12:51,113 O Lord Almighty 232 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:54,518 So, I'll get the process started. 233 00:12:54,605 --> 00:12:58,515 Meanwhile, make sure that your daughter wears this ring. 234 00:12:58,605 --> 00:13:00,225 The ring is free. 235 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,733 Okay. 236 00:13:02,813 --> 00:13:04,613 Wow. Okay. 237 00:13:05,188 --> 00:13:06,768 -All right, then. -Good day. 238 00:13:09,771 --> 00:13:11,521 I would have even paid 20,000. 239 00:13:13,063 --> 00:13:14,773 I would have settled for 5,000. 240 00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:19,360 -Still no signal? -Yep. 241 00:13:20,146 --> 00:13:23,266 As tends to be the case when you're stuck in the middle of nowhere. 242 00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:26,310 I'm starting to get a frustrated vibe from you. 243 00:13:26,396 --> 00:13:29,476 Here's what I'll do. I'll get some water. It'll keep us hydrated. 244 00:13:38,813 --> 00:13:42,153 Ma'am, please give me some money. I'm really hungry. 245 00:13:42,771 --> 00:13:45,651 Ma'am, give me some money. I haven't eaten for days. 246 00:13:46,230 --> 00:13:48,610 I used to be a stand-up comedian, too. 247 00:13:51,146 --> 00:13:55,976 One day, I took a day off, and after that my whole life got ruined. 248 00:13:56,063 --> 00:13:57,943 Now I beg for alms. 249 00:13:58,813 --> 00:13:59,653 Ma'am. 250 00:14:00,521 --> 00:14:02,861 Ma'am! Some money, please? 251 00:14:05,396 --> 00:14:06,896 Thank you, ma'am. 252 00:14:23,646 --> 00:14:26,226 {\an8}YOU LEFT ME TO DO ALL THIS? CHEATER 253 00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:31,310 {\an8}NO OBSCENITY WILL BE TOLERATED AGAINST INDIAN CULTURE 254 00:14:33,938 --> 00:14:35,648 Why does your face look like that? 255 00:14:36,813 --> 00:14:37,813 What the hell is that? 256 00:14:37,896 --> 00:14:39,726 They didn't have bottled water, so I got... 257 00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:42,363 -Beer? So you got beer? -Beers. Beers. 258 00:14:42,438 --> 00:14:44,938 -I'm sorry, do you not do gluten? -Oh, my God. 259 00:14:45,021 --> 00:14:47,441 What? Did I mess up again? Why are you making that face? 260 00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:50,060 You're making a lot of bad faces. 261 00:14:50,146 --> 00:14:53,266 Hey! If we're here, might as well have fun, right? Come on! 262 00:14:53,355 --> 00:14:55,645 -Do you know what that is? -Stop it, all right? 263 00:14:55,730 --> 00:14:58,110 Just stop it with the fun gyan. 264 00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:00,608 -Okay. -I mean, I don't think you remember 265 00:15:00,688 --> 00:15:05,478 I have taken a huge gamble with my life and I am under a lot of pressure, okay? 266 00:15:05,563 --> 00:15:09,113 I cannot afford to be kidnapped by an asshole who doesn't need to work. 267 00:15:10,188 --> 00:15:12,728 -Okay. -You know, it's like being in Taken. 268 00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:15,523 Except there's no Liam Neeson coming to rescue me. 269 00:15:15,605 --> 00:15:17,805 Well, I haven't seen that movie, so joke's on you. 270 00:15:17,896 --> 00:15:19,106 Jackass. 271 00:15:19,646 --> 00:15:21,016 Where you going? 272 00:15:21,105 --> 00:15:22,475 To find a fucking cab ride! 273 00:15:22,563 --> 00:15:25,483 Am I supposed to follow you? I'm gonna follow you. 274 00:15:27,021 --> 00:15:28,941 -Hey, how much longer? -Thirty-three minutes. 275 00:15:29,021 --> 00:15:30,271 Cool, that's not bad. 276 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,810 Last beer. Do you want it? 277 00:15:36,105 --> 00:15:36,935 Hey. 278 00:15:40,146 --> 00:15:43,266 I'm really sorry about today. I... 279 00:15:45,688 --> 00:15:46,728 That's fine. 280 00:15:47,688 --> 00:15:49,518 I'm sorry, too, for yelling at you. 281 00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:52,150 It's all right. No, I get it. 282 00:15:52,230 --> 00:15:53,810 It did trigger me a little bit. 283 00:15:54,438 --> 00:15:58,938 It reminded me of this trip my wife and I, we took to Mexico four years ago. 284 00:15:59,021 --> 00:16:01,981 I was really stressed out. I'd been working like crazy. 285 00:16:02,063 --> 00:16:05,233 I was still an investment banker back then, and I needed this vacation. 286 00:16:05,313 --> 00:16:08,983 Anyway, we're at the beach, we're already fighting, and she was sick, 287 00:16:09,063 --> 00:16:11,313 and I was like, "I know exactly what you need to do." 288 00:16:11,396 --> 00:16:14,766 -You were an investment banker? -Yes. That's not the point of the story. 289 00:16:14,855 --> 00:16:17,685 I said, "There's these swimming caves three hours away. Let's go." 290 00:16:17,771 --> 00:16:20,691 She said, "No." I said, "Please." Four hours later, we're lost. 291 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:24,021 Now she's really stressed, but also, she has a little diarrhea. 292 00:16:24,105 --> 00:16:27,305 An hour later, a lot of diarrhea, and she was holding it this whole time. 293 00:16:27,396 --> 00:16:29,556 What she's not holding is anger towards me. 294 00:16:29,646 --> 00:16:32,146 We're both stressed. I'm like, "We're getting divorced," 295 00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:34,190 which we eventually did for other reasons. 296 00:16:34,271 --> 00:16:39,191 Anyway, it's very dark, and I look up and I see a sign. 297 00:16:40,146 --> 00:16:41,436 "Caves. This way." 298 00:16:41,521 --> 00:16:43,361 How were you an investment banker? 299 00:16:43,438 --> 00:16:47,558 I used to be a real... Like, I was work-obsessed, 300 00:16:47,646 --> 00:16:49,396 and it's probably why I'm going through 301 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,810 this period in life most people went through in their 20s. 302 00:16:51,896 --> 00:16:54,606 -That's why I call it my Eat, Pray-- -"Eat, Pray, Rav" phase. 303 00:16:54,688 --> 00:16:56,938 -Kapi mentioned it. -Yeah, it's based on the book. 304 00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:59,901 Yeah, I got that. So what happened with the caves then? 305 00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:03,900 Caves were closed, yeah. Wife took a shit under a tree. It was... 306 00:17:05,605 --> 00:17:08,645 And you told me this story because... 307 00:17:08,730 --> 00:17:10,810 I just wanted you to have fun today. 308 00:17:12,521 --> 00:17:16,271 Also, you don't have to go to the bathroom, do you? 309 00:17:18,813 --> 00:17:19,813 Did you see that? 310 00:17:19,896 --> 00:17:21,606 -What? It's a ball. -Whose is this? 311 00:17:22,396 --> 00:17:24,726 -Is this yours? -Uncle, please give me the ball. 312 00:17:24,813 --> 00:17:25,653 What did they say? 313 00:17:25,730 --> 00:17:27,810 They said, "Uncle, old man, give me my ball back." 314 00:17:27,896 --> 00:17:30,016 What? I'm not an uncle. I'll kick their ass. 315 00:17:30,105 --> 00:17:32,145 -You want to fight with children? -In cricket. 316 00:17:32,230 --> 00:17:33,690 I'll kick your ass in cricket. 317 00:17:33,771 --> 00:17:37,311 -Uncle says he can beat you in cricket. -No chance, uncle. 318 00:17:37,396 --> 00:17:39,766 Stop calling me uncle! It is on. Let's go. 319 00:17:39,855 --> 00:17:42,015 -What? No, I'm fine. -We're going. Come on. 320 00:17:42,105 --> 00:17:43,055 No, you go. 321 00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,186 I can't play them alone. I need a teammate. 322 00:17:45,271 --> 00:17:47,481 You got something better to do for the next 30 minutes? 323 00:17:47,563 --> 00:17:49,983 -No, it's not that. It's just-- -Okay. Let's go. 324 00:17:51,188 --> 00:17:52,808 I've never played cricket. 325 00:17:52,896 --> 00:17:55,516 What? You've never played cricket before? 326 00:17:56,563 --> 00:18:00,153 I thought I was the white Indian here. You've never played cricket before? 327 00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:03,310 Look, I know all the rules. It's just that I haven't played. 328 00:18:03,396 --> 00:18:06,976 Okay, that is a metaphor for something, for sure. 329 00:18:07,063 --> 00:18:09,733 It's also going to hurt our chances of beating these kids, 330 00:18:09,813 --> 00:18:11,863 which cannot happen, so let's go play. 331 00:18:11,938 --> 00:18:14,228 Get it together. Suck it up. 332 00:18:16,105 --> 00:18:17,265 -Fine. -Yes. 333 00:18:17,855 --> 00:18:19,685 -Fine. Let's play. -Come on, uncle. 334 00:18:22,271 --> 00:18:23,311 Come on. 335 00:18:23,396 --> 00:18:25,056 Let's teach uncle a lesson. 336 00:18:32,146 --> 00:18:33,356 Do I hold it like this? 337 00:18:38,355 --> 00:18:39,185 Give it back. 338 00:18:41,896 --> 00:18:43,556 Get out of here! 339 00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:46,810 Yeah, he's out. 340 00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:47,766 You're out! 341 00:18:47,855 --> 00:18:49,265 -Wait, am I out? -Yeah! 342 00:19:02,605 --> 00:19:03,805 Beanie, Beanie. 343 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,230 -Four! -That's a six, that's a six. 344 00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,733 -It's a four. -That's a six. 345 00:19:09,813 --> 00:19:12,153 -It's a four! -Cheating, cheating, cheating. 346 00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:14,810 Focus! Focus! 347 00:19:15,938 --> 00:19:17,648 Okay, go easy. 348 00:19:21,105 --> 00:19:22,185 You... 349 00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:42,358 Okay, all right, okay. Who's your favorite player? 350 00:19:42,438 --> 00:19:43,608 -Me, me, me. -No. 351 00:19:43,688 --> 00:19:45,148 -No, you. -Me, me! 352 00:19:45,230 --> 00:19:47,230 Ravi! You like Ravi? There you go. 353 00:19:47,313 --> 00:19:48,403 Who likes Ravi? 354 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,230 -I like Ravi! -Who likes Ravi? 355 00:19:51,813 --> 00:19:53,193 They took all my chocolate. 356 00:19:53,855 --> 00:19:55,855 Savages. They took all my... 357 00:19:55,938 --> 00:19:56,938 Did you see that? 358 00:20:00,688 --> 00:20:01,688 By the way... 359 00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:04,980 that was impressive, back there. 360 00:20:05,063 --> 00:20:06,613 I have to say, man of the match-- 361 00:20:06,688 --> 00:20:08,648 -Person of the match. -Person of the match... 362 00:20:09,271 --> 00:20:11,061 Beanie Butt Nagar. 363 00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:13,943 I'm serious. I know. 364 00:20:14,021 --> 00:20:15,611 What did you say? "Butt Nagar." 365 00:20:15,688 --> 00:20:17,808 -Butt Nagar. Is that not it? -No. 366 00:20:17,896 --> 00:20:21,226 "Butt Nagar" is literally "Ass Town." 367 00:20:21,313 --> 00:20:24,233 -But isn't "Naagar" naked? -No, no! What? 368 00:20:24,313 --> 00:20:25,943 Is that Gujarati? Naagar. 369 00:20:26,021 --> 00:20:27,231 My parents would die 370 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:30,943 if they knew that the word "ass" or the word "naked" were in their surname. 371 00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:35,401 Your last name is a stripper name. You should have been a stripper. 372 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,690 -Beanie Ass Town. -Beanie Ass Town! 373 00:20:40,563 --> 00:20:41,773 Beanie Butt Nagar. 374 00:20:45,563 --> 00:20:49,023 Hey, are you a cab? 'Cause you could take me places. 375 00:20:51,355 --> 00:20:52,605 Are you a cab? 376 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:54,690 'Cause... 377 00:20:55,271 --> 00:20:56,361 you always reject me. 378 00:20:57,896 --> 00:20:59,806 -Okay. -Yeah. 379 00:21:03,146 --> 00:21:07,556 Are you a cab? 'Cause if I were drunk, I'd ride you. 380 00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:10,020 That's pretty good. 381 00:21:10,855 --> 00:21:13,935 Listen, you said pick-up lines. I'm just playing by the rules. 382 00:21:14,021 --> 00:21:17,021 No, I'm, like... I don't even... Honestly, like, that is... 383 00:21:17,521 --> 00:21:19,111 I think it might've worked. 384 00:21:20,563 --> 00:21:22,523 Honestly, I think you should maybe use it. 385 00:21:22,605 --> 00:21:24,305 -Yeah? It was a good line. -Pretty good. 386 00:21:24,396 --> 00:21:25,856 -The best. -Pretty effective. 387 00:21:25,938 --> 00:21:28,188 The old, wise American man is impressed. 388 00:21:28,271 --> 00:21:31,611 What? No, I'm not old. I'm wise. Just wise is fine. 389 00:21:32,188 --> 00:21:33,688 I feel like I... 390 00:21:34,688 --> 00:21:36,558 I deserve some credit here. 391 00:21:37,688 --> 00:21:38,858 'Cause this has been... 392 00:21:39,646 --> 00:21:41,106 You know, you've loosened up. 393 00:21:41,896 --> 00:21:47,056 This has been good for you. The spontaneity, got rid of the notebook. 394 00:21:48,938 --> 00:21:51,148 I don't know, I feel like you've come alive. 395 00:22:03,563 --> 00:22:04,403 Cheers. 396 00:22:05,813 --> 00:22:06,693 Cheers. 397 00:22:12,938 --> 00:22:14,518 Here's your graduation present. 398 00:22:15,438 --> 00:22:16,608 Yeah, you've earned it. 399 00:22:18,230 --> 00:22:21,690 Yeah, to get it, you had to... 400 00:22:22,271 --> 00:22:25,061 be spontaneous, learn cricket... 401 00:22:25,938 --> 00:22:26,768 kiss me. 402 00:22:30,563 --> 00:22:31,693 How many jokes are in there? 403 00:22:34,230 --> 00:22:35,150 Where are you... 404 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:36,861 Yeah. 405 00:22:38,771 --> 00:22:40,231 -Just in case. -Yeah. 406 00:22:40,938 --> 00:22:41,898 Welcome back. 407 00:22:48,896 --> 00:22:50,686 -I'll handle it. -Just go home. 408 00:22:50,771 --> 00:22:51,771 You go home! 409 00:22:51,855 --> 00:22:53,055 -Tower two. -Kapi Kapadia? 410 00:22:53,146 --> 00:22:54,606 -1304. -I know, 1304. 411 00:22:54,688 --> 00:22:56,768 You think that ring will solve anything. 412 00:22:56,855 --> 00:22:59,055 At least I'm not pulling scams at a kitty party. 413 00:22:59,146 --> 00:23:01,806 I see! And how will you convince her to wear it? 414 00:23:01,896 --> 00:23:05,646 By saying, "Beanie, sweetheart, your fingers look bare. Wear this." 415 00:23:05,730 --> 00:23:07,230 Mom? Papa? 416 00:23:07,896 --> 00:23:08,896 -Beanie. -What happened? 417 00:23:08,980 --> 00:23:10,310 What are you both doing here? 418 00:23:11,021 --> 00:23:13,521 -Beanie, wear this. -What? No. 419 00:23:13,605 --> 00:23:15,725 -Just wear it. -No! 420 00:23:15,813 --> 00:23:17,983 -What are you doing, Papa? -What are you doing? 421 00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,153 Living life on my terms. 422 00:23:19,230 --> 00:23:20,520 -What? -Yes. 423 00:23:20,605 --> 00:23:23,645 For the first time in my life, I am living by my own rules. 424 00:23:23,730 --> 00:23:27,610 -And you know what? It feels amazing! -Who asked you to do as you please? 425 00:23:27,688 --> 00:23:30,728 -Why didn't you teach me cricket? -How is cricket related to this? 426 00:23:30,813 --> 00:23:33,443 -It is a metaphor, Papa! -You let it be. 427 00:23:33,980 --> 00:23:36,860 Darling, I know you are under a lot of stress. Let me help you. 428 00:23:36,938 --> 00:23:40,438 -I don't want it, Mom. -See? Take this ring. Wear it. 429 00:23:40,521 --> 00:23:42,981 I don't want it, Papa. I don't need any help! 430 00:23:43,063 --> 00:23:44,653 This isn't help, it is bribery. 431 00:23:44,730 --> 00:23:46,900 You'll give me money, then order me around. Right? 432 00:23:46,980 --> 00:23:48,520 "Do this. Don't do that." 433 00:23:48,605 --> 00:23:51,055 So thank you very much, but I'm really sorry. 434 00:23:51,146 --> 00:23:52,726 I can't do this anymore. 435 00:23:56,771 --> 00:23:58,151 I mean, after today, that is. 436 00:24:00,146 --> 00:24:02,356 Look, from now, I will make my own decisions. 437 00:24:02,438 --> 00:24:04,938 If you are fine with it, great. 438 00:24:05,021 --> 00:24:08,561 And if you are not fine, then take somebody's help. 439 00:24:09,188 --> 00:24:14,228 To deal with it. Like your astrologer. Or better still, a therapist! 440 00:24:14,313 --> 00:24:15,653 You have multiple choices. 441 00:24:22,730 --> 00:24:24,440 I love you both. 442 00:24:26,105 --> 00:24:27,105 Good night. 443 00:24:27,646 --> 00:24:28,896 Good night, dear. 444 00:24:28,980 --> 00:24:30,770 She wants to do as she pleases. 445 00:24:30,855 --> 00:24:33,605 When she was six, she wanted to be a gardener. 446 00:24:33,688 --> 00:24:35,558 Could we have let her be one? 447 00:24:35,646 --> 00:24:37,936 -Perhaps she is right. -What? 448 00:24:38,021 --> 00:24:39,481 We need help. 449 00:24:40,563 --> 00:24:41,813 And a therapist, too. 450 00:24:41,896 --> 00:24:46,306 How much therapy do you need? We got ginger-garlic oil for your knees. 451 00:24:47,313 --> 00:24:50,903 -Listen! What are you doing? -Hey, go and get a rickshaw now. 452 00:24:50,980 --> 00:24:52,060 Go inside.