1
00:00:25,916 --> 00:00:28,291
[breathes deeply]
2
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:32,833
Tell him.
3
00:00:33,625 --> 00:00:34,625
[Arya sniffs]
4
00:00:34,708 --> 00:00:37,166
Yeah, I'm going to tell him.
5
00:00:39,875 --> 00:00:40,708
Now.
6
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,208
Yeah, now.
7
00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:47,875
I've been asking you
to do this for months.
8
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,416
Why don't men
ever assign tasks to their wives?
9
00:00:53,458 --> 00:00:54,958
I'm not your wife, remember?
10
00:00:56,125 --> 00:00:57,208
Technically, you are.
11
00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:58,500
[scoffs] What's technically?
12
00:00:59,375 --> 00:01:01,708
Well, if you're found dead
under mysterious circumstances,
13
00:01:01,791 --> 00:01:03,208
I will be the prime suspect.
14
00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:08,333
Okay. You want me to tell
an Indian male that he stinks?
15
00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:09,875
Keep it down, Shruti.
16
00:01:09,958 --> 00:01:11,166
They understand English.
17
00:01:11,666 --> 00:01:12,916
He just pretends.
18
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,083
[sighs] All right, Arya.
19
00:01:15,625 --> 00:01:18,375
If you don't tell him,
I'm going to sack him without a reason.
20
00:01:18,458 --> 00:01:20,958
Technically, the car
comes under my department.
21
00:01:21,041 --> 00:01:23,625
You pay the EMI for the car,
I pay for the drivers.
22
00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:26,583
So "technically" he's my department.
23
00:01:26,666 --> 00:01:27,583
Just tell him.
24
00:01:35,958 --> 00:01:39,083
You know, a man has different smells
in different parts of his body.
25
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,708
Which smell is exactly bothering you?
26
00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:46,958
[whispering in Punjabi] If his nose
worked as well as his dick,
27
00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:48,208
we wouldn't be in this situation.
28
00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:51,583
[in Tamil] When she has no comebacks
she blabbers in Punjabi.
29
00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:53,541
-[in English] What did you say?
-What did you say?
30
00:01:53,625 --> 00:01:55,416
-No, what did you say?
-[Arya] Nothing.
31
00:01:58,125 --> 00:02:00,166
I ask you for so little, Arya.
32
00:02:02,208 --> 00:02:03,958
That sounds like marriage.
33
00:02:14,958 --> 00:02:16,958
[theme music playing]
34
00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:36,291
{\an8}[cell phone chimes]
35
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:43,541
That's a great list of books
you have right there,
36
00:02:43,625 --> 00:02:46,583
but I noticed
you forgot to mention Arya Iyer.
37
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:47,583
Arya who?
38
00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:51,208
[woman] Arya Iyer,
India's second highest selling novelist.
39
00:02:51,291 --> 00:02:52,416
After you, of course.
40
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:55,916
Yeah, I think one of his books
did sell a few copies.
41
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,750
But your question to me
was books worth reading.
42
00:02:58,833 --> 00:02:59,750
So…
43
00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:04,333
[woman laughs] Okay, let's talk
about your recent book.
44
00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:06,291
[whimsical music playing]
45
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,458
Where's your investor?
46
00:03:20,958 --> 00:03:23,250
He's at the bookstore.
I think it's this way.
47
00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:25,333
I don't like him.
48
00:03:26,291 --> 00:03:27,250
You've never even met him.
49
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,666
Yeah, but I know the type.
50
00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:31,583
The ones who make elaborate plans
to surprise their wives
51
00:03:31,666 --> 00:03:33,166
only when others are watching.
52
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:36,583
[scoffs] You know, there are
some sweet men in this world, Arya.
53
00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:37,583
Get used to it.
54
00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:40,916
Actually, if you'd done
those little things,
55
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,708
maybe you'd still have a marriage.
56
00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:45,333
That's not what went wrong
with our marriage.
57
00:03:45,416 --> 00:03:47,666
So what went wrong
with our marriage, Arya?
58
00:03:47,750 --> 00:03:50,916
[chuckles] That's what we're trying to
figure out for the past three years.
59
00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:53,083
Maybe nothing went wrong.
60
00:03:53,625 --> 00:03:56,583
Maybe marriage is only for people
with no other choice.
61
00:03:56,666 --> 00:03:59,500
Nobody else will have them
so they're stuck together.
62
00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:02,291
Maybe we're too happening
to be stuck in a never-ending marriage.
63
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,208
So we live in the same house
64
00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:07,125
to fool our daughter into thinking
that her parents are together.
65
00:04:07,208 --> 00:04:09,000
How are we "happening," Arya?
66
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:12,333
Well, we have a home.
We have a beautiful daughter.
67
00:04:12,416 --> 00:04:14,416
Over a period of time,
we've become good friends.
68
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,875
And who knows,
we might even sleep together.
69
00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,500
-Never.
-Hey.
70
00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:20,125
Never ever.
71
00:04:22,041 --> 00:04:25,208
A couple never really knows when
they've had sex for the very last time.
72
00:04:27,958 --> 00:04:29,958
-Look at you.
-[Shruti] Ah.
73
00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:31,958
-Such a lovely pair.
-[Shruti chuckles]
74
00:04:32,083 --> 00:04:33,208
There's so much love.
75
00:04:33,916 --> 00:04:37,750
You know, I have this instinct for couples
who have this magic still on.
76
00:04:38,708 --> 00:04:41,291
Wow. Your instincts are spot on, man.
77
00:04:42,875 --> 00:04:44,916
-Everybody says that.
-They do, huh?
78
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,375
-Arya, this is Mahesh.
-Hi, Mahesh.
79
00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:48,625
Thank you so much for doing this.
80
00:04:48,708 --> 00:04:49,666
I'm doing this for her.
81
00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:51,583
I believe you're really important
for her business.
82
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,541
[Mahesh laughs] Really important.
83
00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:56,291
-Twenty five percent of her revenues.
-Yes.
84
00:04:57,208 --> 00:04:58,416
I'm glad I'm doing it then.
85
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,333
Oh, my wife's a big fan of yours.
86
00:05:01,416 --> 00:05:03,708
-She's read all your books.
-How about you? Have you read any?
87
00:05:04,666 --> 00:05:06,416
[Mahesh and Shruti chuckle]
88
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:07,416
-[Mahesh] Um…
-He's kidding.
89
00:05:08,666 --> 00:05:11,291
So what are we doing?
I have a flight to catch in an hour.
90
00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:13,625
Yes, yes, so this is the plan.
91
00:05:13,708 --> 00:05:16,083
My wife's book club meeting
is happening inside.
92
00:05:16,666 --> 00:05:18,166
There she is in green.
93
00:05:18,958 --> 00:05:22,500
They're discussing your book
and bam, surprise.
94
00:05:23,083 --> 00:05:25,208
You'll appear and wish her happy birthday.
95
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:26,208
Voilà.
96
00:05:26,291 --> 00:05:27,625
-[Mahesh] Let's do this.
-Yeah.
97
00:05:27,708 --> 00:05:28,791
How original.
98
00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:42,291
[whimsical music playing]
99
00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:49,916
The way he portrays his female characters,
that's what I find amazing.
100
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,291
And the way he describes
the insides of an urban marriage.
101
00:05:53,791 --> 00:05:55,458
He's just so accurate.
102
00:05:55,541 --> 00:05:56,625
[Basu] Geeta, Geeta, hang on.
103
00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:59,375
I thought we were discussing Amartya Sen.
104
00:05:59,916 --> 00:06:03,125
Um, we wanted a break
from the serious stuff, Dr. Basu.
105
00:06:03,708 --> 00:06:04,750
Didn't you get an e-mail?
106
00:06:05,458 --> 00:06:07,250
No, I didn't get any e-mail.
107
00:06:07,833 --> 00:06:10,708
And in any case,
your book club treats its male members
108
00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:13,250
as second class citizens
even though they are feminists.
109
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,583
Um, I'm so sorry about that, Dr. Basu.
110
00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:19,125
Have you read this novel?
111
00:06:20,041 --> 00:06:21,625
No, I don't read such books.
112
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,166
Uh, Dr. Basu, please join us.
Now you're already here.
113
00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:27,208
-Sit.
-Well…
114
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,916
-[Geeta] Hi, Golu. How are you?
-Fine, Aunty.
115
00:06:30,708 --> 00:06:31,833
Papa?
116
00:06:31,916 --> 00:06:33,708
-[woman] Arya.
-Hi, Geeta.
117
00:06:33,791 --> 00:06:36,166
-[gasps]
-Happy birthday.
118
00:06:36,708 --> 00:06:38,625
My God. Oh, my God!
119
00:06:38,708 --> 00:06:40,875
Happy birthday, my darling.
120
00:06:40,958 --> 00:06:42,958
-Happy birthday. Oh.
-[Geeta exclaims]
121
00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:44,583
[Geeta] Thank you.
122
00:06:44,666 --> 00:06:47,083
-How do you do these things?
-You like it?
123
00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:50,125
Like it? I love it.
I mean, this is the best surprise ever.
124
00:06:50,208 --> 00:06:51,458
[Mahesh] Come here, give me a hug.
125
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,666
So how long have you been married?
126
00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:55,541
-Twelve years.
-Yes.
127
00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:59,000
Wow. So what do you do for sex? [chuckles]
128
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,041
Uh… [Geeta laughs]
129
00:07:02,125 --> 00:07:04,375
Anyway, it was really nice meeting y'all.
130
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:07,041
Uh, and happy birthday again.
I have a flight to catch.
131
00:07:07,125 --> 00:07:08,708
What? No, you've just come.
132
00:07:08,791 --> 00:07:10,583
We have so many questions for you, Arya.
133
00:07:10,666 --> 00:07:12,541
-We can't let you leave. Please.
-I'm in a little bit of a hurry.
134
00:07:12,625 --> 00:07:14,458
No way. You have to stay here
135
00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:16,916
and you have to read
from your latest book.
136
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,750
It's my birthday. Come on.
137
00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:22,958
There we go.
138
00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:25,666
[clears throat]
139
00:07:26,666 --> 00:07:28,708
"Thousands and thousands of windows,
140
00:07:28,791 --> 00:07:31,083
and behind every window
is a shit marriage."
141
00:07:31,791 --> 00:07:35,791
"And amongst these marriages,
the worst kind are the ones that are stuck
142
00:07:35,875 --> 00:07:38,000
right in the middle of the shit scale."
143
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:42,250
"No joy,
yet not enough reason to break up."
144
00:07:43,166 --> 00:07:45,750
"Therefore, some couples
are much luckier than they think."
145
00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:50,125
"At least they have a good enough reason
to end their misery."
146
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,708
Is the passage over?
147
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:54,666
I guess now it is. [chuckles]
148
00:07:58,083 --> 00:07:59,041
Are those my books?
149
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,166
Do you have a Nobel Prize in economics?
150
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:05,500
Thankfully not. [chuckles]
151
00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:07,791
That won't be good for the business
of a pulp fiction writer.
152
00:08:09,541 --> 00:08:11,875
Well, then I'm afraid
these are not your books.
153
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,000
Hmm.
154
00:08:13,083 --> 00:08:14,500
Don't I look familiar to you?
155
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:16,333
Uh…
156
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,250
We're neighbors.
We moved in only last month.
157
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:23,416
Oh, hi. Sorry.
158
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,041
-Papa, I want to meet him.
-Yeah…
159
00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:27,416
Uh, he's my son, Gollu. Big fan.
160
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,666
-Hi, Gollu.
-[in Hindi] Go.
161
00:08:31,416 --> 00:08:33,083
[dramatic music plays]
162
00:08:34,250 --> 00:08:35,250
[Arya] Uh…
163
00:08:36,875 --> 00:08:37,833
[in English] He's a fan.
164
00:08:39,291 --> 00:08:40,166
Hi.
165
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:44,750
Uh, can you step out for a second, please?
166
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:52,083
What?
167
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,458
I don't shake the hand of teenage boys.
168
00:08:56,625 --> 00:08:57,666
But why?
169
00:08:58,291 --> 00:08:59,125
It's a policy.
170
00:09:00,625 --> 00:09:03,333
Look, pardon me for saying this.
I'm a political economist.
171
00:09:03,416 --> 00:09:06,083
I write policies every day.
Never heard of such a policy.
172
00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:08,541
Let's just say it's a phobia.
173
00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:11,958
Why can't you shake the hand of a boy?
174
00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:15,833
At this stage in their lives,
175
00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:18,750
uh, their hands are busy doing stuff,
you know.
176
00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:21,333
Which I don't have a problem with.
That's fine. But, uh…
177
00:09:22,875 --> 00:09:23,875
they don't wash after.
178
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,416
But he's just 14.
179
00:09:29,208 --> 00:09:30,833
[whimsical music playing]
180
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:46,791
[in Hindi] Let's go, Ganesh.
181
00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:51,583
[in English] Hey, do you even know
where I'm going?
182
00:09:52,416 --> 00:09:53,625
Fuck. It's come to this.
183
00:09:55,125 --> 00:09:56,750
-Where are you going?
-Mumbai.
184
00:09:56,833 --> 00:09:57,666
What for?
185
00:09:57,750 --> 00:10:00,875
-Now you're just faffing.
-No, I really want to know.
186
00:10:00,958 --> 00:10:02,250
Netflix wants to meet.
187
00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:05,750
-They want the film rights of my latest.
-Oh, wow. That's a big meeting.
188
00:10:05,833 --> 00:10:07,458
-[Arya] Yeah.
-Don't let them jip you, okay?
189
00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:09,500
You want me to negotiate?
190
00:10:10,416 --> 00:10:11,833
I'll manage. Thank you.
191
00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:14,041
-I'll see you in a couple of days.
-Yeah.
192
00:10:14,708 --> 00:10:15,791
Hey, listen, listen.
193
00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:20,875
I'm changing my Facebook status.
194
00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:23,041
The relationship status.
195
00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:25,125
I'm making it single.
196
00:10:31,958 --> 00:10:35,458
Shruti, we had decided to keep it quiet
till we know how Rohini is going to react.
197
00:10:35,583 --> 00:10:38,208
But it is all quiet.
I mean, nobody's really going to notice.
198
00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:40,708
Why are you doing it?
199
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:44,375
'Cause it's a first step,
and I need a first step.
200
00:10:45,916 --> 00:10:47,458
When do you plan to do it?
201
00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:48,958
Let's see.
202
00:10:53,791 --> 00:10:54,708
[in Hindi] Let's go, Ganesh.
203
00:11:10,833 --> 00:11:12,250
[imperceptible]
204
00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:14,041
[whimsical music playing]
205
00:11:16,708 --> 00:11:18,083
[beeping]
206
00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:24,375
-[in Hindi] Hello.
-[guard] Hello.
207
00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:32,500
[imperceptible]
208
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:40,625
-[Arya in Hindi] What are you doing?
-Checking your ticket.
209
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,208
-But why?
-This is my duty.
210
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,625
How do you know this is not a fake ticket?
211
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,000
-Is it fake?
-No, I'm saying…
212
00:11:53,166 --> 00:11:56,166
Your seniors are just wasting your time.
213
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,583
-They made you wear this dress--
-Mister.
214
00:11:58,666 --> 00:11:59,708
Does this look like a dress?
215
00:11:59,791 --> 00:12:02,833
This is a uniform.
We get it to serve the country.
216
00:12:02,916 --> 00:12:04,541
No, you are serving the country,
217
00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:06,666
but people in your village are thinking
218
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:10,000
you're in this uniform
fighting dangerous terrorists in Kashmir.
219
00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:13,750
But you're standing here
and checking tickets.
220
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,375
[man in English]
Why are you insulting a soldier?
221
00:12:15,958 --> 00:12:17,333
This guy's insulting a soldier.
222
00:12:17,416 --> 00:12:18,958
No, I'm not insulting a soldier.
223
00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:20,166
[in Hindi] Get out of the line.
224
00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:22,875
-What did I do?
-[guard] Get out of the line.
225
00:12:22,958 --> 00:12:24,291
Get out.
226
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,750
[in English] Gate number four.
Gate number four.
227
00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:32,875
Gate number four.
228
00:12:33,208 --> 00:12:34,666
-[cell phone chimes]
-[Arya] Notes from the field.
229
00:12:35,416 --> 00:12:38,875
There's a man here who's looking
at mobile screens trying to check tickets.
230
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:42,083
He has no machine here that can validate
the authenticity of those tickets.
231
00:12:42,666 --> 00:12:44,416
But he's here doing a boring job.
232
00:12:44,916 --> 00:12:46,125
Hey! Hello.
233
00:12:46,708 --> 00:12:48,458
Who are you calling boring?
He's a soldier.
234
00:12:48,541 --> 00:12:50,375
He's not from the army,
you ignorant moron!
235
00:12:50,958 --> 00:12:52,041
Hello, you, mister…
236
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:56,541
You better mind your language.
I know what moron means.
237
00:12:56,625 --> 00:12:58,791
And yet he doesn't have
a problem with the word ignorant.
238
00:12:58,875 --> 00:13:00,750
[man in Hindi] If he's not from the army,
is he from the navy?
239
00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,125
Okay, tell me the full form of the CISF.
240
00:13:04,541 --> 00:13:05,875
[in English] Don't act smart,
you anti-national.
241
00:13:05,958 --> 00:13:08,041
Okay. What language
is our national anthem in?
242
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:09,166
-Sanskrit.
-[Arya] No.
243
00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:10,416
-[man] Hindi.
-No.
244
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:11,458
Okay, Malayali.
245
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,041
And this moron thinks
Malayali is a language.
246
00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:16,250
[in Hindi] You will not get entry
from any gate.
247
00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:17,875
[in English] Ma'am, please come here.
248
00:13:18,708 --> 00:13:19,833
Ma'am, please come.
249
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,166
Ma'am.
250
00:13:24,583 --> 00:13:25,875
[Arya] Oh, there you are.
251
00:13:30,375 --> 00:13:31,916
-I'm very sorry, sir.
-It's all right.
252
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,000
We're trying to figure out
what has happened.
253
00:13:34,083 --> 00:13:35,375
Did you create some trouble?
254
00:13:35,958 --> 00:13:38,375
I didn't create any trouble.
I didn't say anything to anybody.
255
00:13:38,458 --> 00:13:40,916
In fact, my flight is
in the next 40 minutes.
256
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,791
Security has a major concern.
257
00:13:42,875 --> 00:13:45,458
You can't fly to Mumbai today, sir.
I'm sorry.
258
00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:47,083
We're putting you on the No Fly List.
259
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:49,416
No Fly?
260
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:04,750
[cell phone ringing]
261
00:14:09,541 --> 00:14:10,750
Ah, you haven't left?
262
00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:13,833
My-my-my-my flight got canceled.
263
00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:16,833
[Shruti over phone] Oh. So now?
264
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:18,708
So you free for dinner?
265
00:14:21,458 --> 00:14:22,333
Okay.
266
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:31,291
[woman in Vietnamese] Hello.
267
00:14:32,625 --> 00:14:33,666
Hello.
268
00:14:38,416 --> 00:14:39,500
Hello.
269
00:14:39,583 --> 00:14:41,458
[in English] Oh, hi. Are you from Mizoram?
270
00:14:42,041 --> 00:14:43,583
-Meghalaya, sir.
-Ah.
271
00:14:44,375 --> 00:14:46,500
They put you up
in this fancy dress costume
272
00:14:46,583 --> 00:14:48,125
and pass you off as somebody from Vietnam.
273
00:14:48,208 --> 00:14:50,250
-Are you okay with this?
-Hmm.
274
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:52,166
-Yes, sir.
-Does it not bother you at all?
275
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,333
-No, sir.
-Just a wee bit?
276
00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:57,208
Yes, a bit.
277
00:14:57,291 --> 00:14:58,500
[man] Welcome, sir.
278
00:14:58,583 --> 00:14:59,708
[in Vietnamese] Hello.
279
00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:01,291
[in English] Sin, definitely it is.
280
00:15:02,458 --> 00:15:03,333
Where's my wife?
281
00:15:03,416 --> 00:15:04,458
Sir, she's there.
282
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:08,708
Oh, my God. Arya. I'm a big fan.
Like, a big, big fan.
283
00:15:08,791 --> 00:15:10,083
Oh. So do you work here?
284
00:15:10,166 --> 00:15:13,000
Oh. No. I'm a professional photographer
with Lifecatchers.
285
00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:14,333
What's Lifecatchers?
286
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:16,541
[woman] Oh. You don't know Lifecatchers?
287
00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:18,666
-Isn't that what I just said?
-[woman] Sorry.
288
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:21,708
So we capture the most important moments
of our clients' lives.
289
00:15:21,791 --> 00:15:22,791
-Wow.
-What the fuck are you doing?
290
00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:25,125
Am I paying you to chat?
291
00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:26,208
Focus.
292
00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:33,291
-That's our client.
-A very pissed one apparently.
293
00:15:33,375 --> 00:15:35,083
Yeah, he's pretty nervous.
294
00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:36,833
He's gonna propose to that woman.
295
00:15:36,916 --> 00:15:39,958
He wants us to capture
the moment when she finds the ring.
296
00:15:40,041 --> 00:15:42,000
Hopefully she screams and cries.
297
00:15:42,083 --> 00:15:43,166
And where's the ring?
298
00:15:43,250 --> 00:15:44,916
[whispers] It's going to be
in the dessert.
299
00:15:45,125 --> 00:15:47,375
Oh. How original.
300
00:15:47,458 --> 00:15:48,416
[woman chuckles]
301
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:52,166
So you need to act accordingly.
You can't be in your comfort zone.
302
00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:54,000
You will have to go out.
303
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:55,041
[man] That's absolutely right.
304
00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:56,625
You'll have to expand your horizon.
305
00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:02,000
It's like we're in a world
where beauty is often with the beast.
306
00:16:02,083 --> 00:16:02,916
Hi, how are you?
307
00:16:03,791 --> 00:16:05,500
Hey, thanks for the cushion.
308
00:16:05,583 --> 00:16:07,291
[Shruti] Your back needs it
more than mine.
309
00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:08,583
[Arya] That's very considerate.
310
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:11,958
Hey, Shruti.
Do you see the couple behind me?
311
00:16:12,041 --> 00:16:13,166
Mmm-hmm.
312
00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:16,333
That man is going to propose
to the lady tonight.
313
00:16:16,416 --> 00:16:17,500
[chuckles]
314
00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:20,791
-She totally knows he's going to propose.
-[Arya] How do you know that?
315
00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:22,458
Look at her.
316
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:26,583
Every fucking thing about her
says he's going to get sex
317
00:16:26,666 --> 00:16:28,416
every single night.
318
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,333
Food and sex and food and sex.
319
00:16:30,416 --> 00:16:32,416
And that's going to be
the story of their lives.
320
00:16:34,291 --> 00:16:36,416
Hello. You're making it very obvious.
321
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:37,708
Yeah, well, what do I care?
322
00:16:37,791 --> 00:16:39,666
I don't like guys like him
in the first place,
323
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,875
who make this grand gesture of proposing.
324
00:16:41,958 --> 00:16:44,750
You know, it's never about the girl.
It's all about themselves.
325
00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:47,416
"Oh, look. Such a nice guy I am."
326
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,458
"I'm spending so much money on this moment
and this is how much I loved her."
327
00:16:50,541 --> 00:16:51,583
Bullshit.
328
00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:53,250
You know, when I was his age,
329
00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:56,000
most of the girls I was interested in
didn't even know that.
330
00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:58,166
I know.
331
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:01,000
No, seriously.
My generation was never about the show.
332
00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:04,541
We spent hours and hours
trying to get the girl, get this, happy.
333
00:17:04,625 --> 00:17:06,125
No, seriously. Look…
334
00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:07,250
[laughs]
335
00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:09,791
No, seriously. Look…
336
00:17:09,875 --> 00:17:10,750
Son of a bitch.
337
00:17:12,666 --> 00:17:13,500
Hey, um…
338
00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:16,125
Can you order? I'll just be back.
339
00:17:18,416 --> 00:17:20,625
-Uh, what do you… What?
-[Arya] The usual.
340
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:22,583
[whimsical music playing]
341
00:17:25,166 --> 00:17:26,333
[indistinct chatter]
342
00:17:27,541 --> 00:17:29,625
[in Hindi] Why are you standing? Sit down.
343
00:17:33,416 --> 00:17:34,625
[man in English] This is the bathroom.
344
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:37,166
Okay, okay.
345
00:17:37,250 --> 00:17:38,791
[cell phone cameras clicking]
346
00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:39,708
Hi.
347
00:17:40,666 --> 00:17:41,541
Hi.
348
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,083
[in Hindi] Sir, one moment.
349
00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:47,375
-[in English] Hey.
-Hi.
350
00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:48,625
You too write well.
351
00:17:49,541 --> 00:17:52,458
But you use difficult words
like "furtive" and…
352
00:17:53,666 --> 00:17:55,791
-Inadequate?
-Uh…
353
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,916
-All the best.
-My apologies.
354
00:17:59,875 --> 00:18:01,000
[indistinct chatter]
355
00:18:01,083 --> 00:18:02,166
[Arya] So how have you been?
356
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,083
I've been good. What's up with you?
357
00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:09,041
All good. Uh, Netflix may be buying
my books. Maybe all of them.
358
00:18:09,125 --> 00:18:10,291
-Nice.
-How about you?
359
00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:11,916
They can't afford me.
360
00:18:14,625 --> 00:18:16,458
Hey, so I have an outrageous request.
361
00:18:16,541 --> 00:18:17,416
Uh-huh.
362
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,166
I'm here with my wife for dinner,
363
00:18:19,291 --> 00:18:20,875
and I was wondering
if you could come over to my table
364
00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:21,875
and say something.
365
00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:25,208
Something fan-like, so I can get
some brownie points with my wife.
366
00:18:26,458 --> 00:18:28,833
That's sweet. Yeah, I'll do it.
367
00:18:28,916 --> 00:18:29,750
Oh, you'll do it?
368
00:18:29,833 --> 00:18:31,208
Yeah, such a small thing.
369
00:18:31,291 --> 00:18:32,750
You run along, I'll join you guys.
370
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:34,791
That's very kind of you. Thank you.
371
00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:36,625
-So I'll see you around.
-Yeah, see you around.
372
00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:42,333
-[man] Chetan?
-[in Hindi] Yes?
373
00:18:42,416 --> 00:18:44,083
-[in English] Oh. Selfie? Huh.
-Check this.
374
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,208
[man over video]
This guy is insulting a soldier.
375
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,666
[Arya in Hindi]
They made you wear this dress--
376
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,625
[guard] Mister! You think this is a dress?
377
00:18:49,708 --> 00:18:52,375
This is a uniform.
We get it to serve the country.
378
00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,250
No, you are serving the country.
379
00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,125
In India, we should have
compulsory military training.
380
00:18:57,208 --> 00:18:59,083
-[in English] Just like the Israelis.
-Exactly.
381
00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:02,208
[in Hindi] I say the same thing
to my friends, but they laugh at me.
382
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:03,541
[man] He is absolutely correct.
383
00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:05,375
[in English] The middle class
in this country these days
384
00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:07,125
is so anti-intellectual.
385
00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:08,458
Semi-literates.
386
00:19:09,041 --> 00:19:10,041
Semi-literates.
387
00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:11,375
Hey, so what did I miss?
388
00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:13,333
[Shruti] She just cried.
389
00:19:13,416 --> 00:19:15,958
Oh, shit. That mean
they're gonna cancel the dessert?
390
00:19:16,458 --> 00:19:18,333
No. It's a happy cry.
391
00:19:19,083 --> 00:19:22,000
"Vicky, life is just so perfect
in this moment."
392
00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:23,791
"Vicky, I could die in your arms."
393
00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:25,833
"I could die in your arms tonight."
394
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,291
Kind of a thing.
395
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,583
Two coconut chocolate ice creams, please.
396
00:19:30,041 --> 00:19:31,708
And the moment has arrived.
397
00:19:31,791 --> 00:19:34,000
[Arya] Just check out
the size of this table.
398
00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:35,541
Where the hell
is he going to keep the food?
399
00:19:35,625 --> 00:19:38,791
-On top of that, this huge flower--
-Let them be. They're pretty.
400
00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:41,125
You know why women like flowers?
401
00:19:41,625 --> 00:19:42,666
[Shruti] Why?
402
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:44,500
Because flowers are vaginas.
403
00:19:45,791 --> 00:19:47,333
Then you should like them, no?
404
00:19:47,416 --> 00:19:50,583
-[hesitates] See the bees--
-[Chetan] Arya?
405
00:19:50,666 --> 00:19:53,000
Oh, man, I read your book. It was so good.
406
00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:54,541
So good to see you here, man.
407
00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:56,041
One selfie, you and me?
408
00:19:57,625 --> 00:19:59,000
What are you doing, Chetan?
409
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:00,875
Where are your manners?
410
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,083
Where's your decency, man?
411
00:20:04,208 --> 00:20:06,250
I'm having a private moment with my wife.
412
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:07,833
Can we do this later, please?
413
00:20:13,250 --> 00:20:14,583
Run along. Go on.
414
00:20:16,875 --> 00:20:18,458
Some people just don't get it.
415
00:20:19,416 --> 00:20:21,208
What the fuck was that, Arya?
416
00:20:21,291 --> 00:20:23,125
-[Arya] Why?
-What just happened?
417
00:20:23,208 --> 00:20:24,291
What got into you?
418
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:26,166
[Arya] I wanna have
a private time with you.
419
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:27,541
This is important for me.
420
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:29,708
-Oh. Since when?
-[cell phone chiming]
421
00:20:29,791 --> 00:20:33,000
Come on.
It's always meant a great deal to me.
422
00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:34,958
What's wrong with you, Shruti?
I'm so offended.
423
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,208
[chiming continues]
424
00:20:48,666 --> 00:20:51,625
[Ludwig van Beethoven's
Symphony No. 5 in C Minor playing]
425
00:21:20,041 --> 00:21:22,208
[woman] Oh, shit!
426
00:21:42,666 --> 00:21:43,791
[chirps]
427
00:21:59,916 --> 00:22:02,125
-[indistinct chatter]
-[upbeat music playing]
428
00:22:11,708 --> 00:22:13,125
[Arya] Whoa! What's happening, man?
429
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,041
Hey…
430
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,416
[shushes]
431
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,166
What are you guys doing?
What are you doing?
432
00:22:17,250 --> 00:22:20,125
Hey, boss, we came here
for a quiet dinner.
433
00:22:20,208 --> 00:22:22,000
-Not to see some guy do his peacock dance.
-Arya--
434
00:22:22,083 --> 00:22:23,500
No, seriously. And you know what?
435
00:22:23,583 --> 00:22:25,375
The worst part is,
this is not even about you.
436
00:22:25,458 --> 00:22:27,416
It's about how cute he is.
437
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:30,625
It's phoney guys like him
who have ruined the lives of honest men
438
00:22:30,708 --> 00:22:32,333
who don't want to do shit like this.
439
00:22:33,666 --> 00:22:35,833
You are one asshole fellow!
440
00:22:35,916 --> 00:22:37,541
[in Hindi]
He ruined the proposal.
441
00:22:37,625 --> 00:22:38,875
My little brother was working on this
for a whole week.
442
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:41,208
[in English] You brought your entire
family to watch this drama?
443
00:22:41,291 --> 00:22:42,416
-He brought his--
-Arya, please.
444
00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:43,416
He is my brother and nephew.
445
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:45,833
Oh, how considerate.
I know people like you.
446
00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:49,000
You're the kind of guy who will
take his parents to the honeymoon.
447
00:22:49,083 --> 00:22:50,875
-You sure you want to marry this buffoon?
-[man] Sir…
448
00:22:50,958 --> 00:22:52,458
-Yes.
-You're disturbing everyone.
449
00:22:52,541 --> 00:22:53,750
I'm disturbing everyone?
450
00:22:53,833 --> 00:22:55,541
Have you seen these grown men in costumes?
451
00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:58,208
{\an8}[man] Sir, this is their job.
This is what they do.
452
00:22:58,291 --> 00:22:59,625
{\an8}[Arya] I'm not talking about their jobs.
453
00:22:59,708 --> 00:23:01,666
{\an8}But why'd you have to
make them look like fools?
454
00:23:01,750 --> 00:23:04,083
Whom are you calling fools?
We are just playing our set.
455
00:23:04,166 --> 00:23:06,541
Not you, brother.
I'm saying he's making you look like--
456
00:23:06,625 --> 00:23:08,583
-Sir, we'll take full payment for this.
-[Arya] You should--
457
00:23:08,666 --> 00:23:10,958
[screams] Harry!
458
00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:13,000
[in Hindi] He spoiled my moment.
459
00:23:13,083 --> 00:23:14,541
He is a traitor!
460
00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:17,916
-[man 1] Fucker!
-[man 2] Hold his hand.
461
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
Hey, hold on.
462
00:23:20,083 --> 00:23:22,791
Come on, Professor. These types of people
behave better after two slaps.
463
00:23:22,916 --> 00:23:24,083
[Basu] No, Mr. Singh.
464
00:23:24,625 --> 00:23:27,666
We are from Gandhi's country.
465
00:23:27,750 --> 00:23:29,625
Violence is wrong.
466
00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:32,791
[in English] Wait, wait, wait. Uh…
467
00:23:33,541 --> 00:23:34,666
Uh…
468
00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:41,916
Let the youngest amongst you
reach out to this man for peace.
469
00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:44,333
-[in Punjabi] What's your name, dear?
-Satvinder.
470
00:23:44,458 --> 00:23:45,916
Yes, Satvinder.
471
00:23:47,333 --> 00:23:48,541
[In Hindi] Give your hand to Uncle.
472
00:23:49,541 --> 00:23:51,250
[dramatic music playing]
473
00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:52,291
Shake his hand, dear.
474
00:23:53,333 --> 00:23:54,250
Shake it.
475
00:24:00,791 --> 00:24:02,666
[in English] What are you waiting for?
Shake his hand.
476
00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:04,958
At this stage in their lives,
they're hands are busy doing stuff.
477
00:24:05,041 --> 00:24:07,833
[in English] Arya, shake his hand.
478
00:24:07,916 --> 00:24:09,583
Come on, man. Shake his hand.
479
00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:11,791
They don't wash after.
480
00:24:11,875 --> 00:24:13,375
[man 3 in Hindi] What are you looking at?
Shake his hand.
481
00:24:13,458 --> 00:24:16,125
[in English] Come on, man. Shake his hand.
482
00:24:31,833 --> 00:24:33,750
[dramatic music continues]