[Arya] Shru, I've got a catch in my back.
Lower back pain is bad posture.
Upper back is always marriage.
Oh.
-You're talking to me? -[mumbles]
[whispers indistinctly]
[chuckles] You know, this is really mysterious.
I'm intrigued by the asymmetry.
See, you're not wearing panties, but you're wearing a bra.
Are you preparing for a video conference?
[sighs] You know what, babe?
You must use your power of observation for more useful things around the house.
-Is somebody coming home? -Yes. I'm interviewing a maid.
See, now I really need to understand this.
So, a bra is essential even amongst the girls?
Yes, Arya, yes. I wish your mother knew that.
[doorbell chimes]
[in Hindi] Uh, have you come for the housework?
[woman] Hmm.
-What is your name? -Lakshmi.
-Lakshmi. Do you know all the housework? -Hmm.
-Cooking? -Hmm.
I want the house to be super clean.
I don't accept superficial cleaning.
Each corner of the house…
should be cleaned every day.
Hmm. And how many holidays in a month?
Two holidays in a month.
No, I need four holidays.
Four is not possible. We have a rule of two holidays.
At least consult Sir.
[Shruti] No. I don't need you.
[in English] You didn't hire her because she was good-looking.
Because she was good-looking? Oh, my God. How random are you?
You know it's true. [chuckles] Wait, let me prove it to you.
-[indistinct chatter] -[laughs]
[Arya] It's quite Darwinian, really.
If the maid is hot, the memsahibs don't hire them,
so all the maids in Gurgaon only have inner beauty.
[theme music playing]
[piano playing]
[hums a folk song]
[toilet flushing]
[exclaims]
[in Hindi] Oh God!
-Did you pee inside? -No, madam.
-Did you poop? -I cleaned it with Harpic and flushed it.
That's a lie. That didn't sound like Harpic.
Harpic doesn't make any sound.
-Don't play smart. -Damn it!
[Basu's mom] There is a latrine made for you on the rooftop, use that.
Do not dirty boss' bathroom.
What's wrong?
She used this toilet.
I haven't used it!
Hey, are you mocking Mom?
She also keeps hounding me like a cop.
Listen, if you talk rubbish, I'll throw you out.
I'm going by myself, you hag.
[in English] Look at her arrogance.
[in Bengali] How strange.
[in Hindi] Nobody will hire you for work here.
[maid] So what? I will not die hungry.
I have a much bigger agricultural land than your Tatvam.
I'm independent. Have NREGA, too.
NREGA was my idea.
I have Aadhar, too.
[in English] Surveillance. Total surveillance.
[in Hindi] The government will send money to my account.
[in English] This is exactly why I opposed this bloody idea of direct cash transfer.
-[in Hindi] Girl, where are you going? -[maid] I quit!
[in Bengali] I told you several times not to keep such maids.
-[piano teacher in English] Shall we? -[playing piano]
When did they take you off the No Fly?
[scoffing] Aren't you still a threat to civil aviation?
I have admirers in high places.
[scoffs]
We'll see you tomorrow.
Hey, Shruti, about that.
Oh, no, no, no. We're not going through this again.
-I'm not changing my mind. -Shruti, think about it.
We're going all the way to Mumbai
to celebrate your parents' wedding anniversary.
And you want to ruin their day by talking about our divorce?
I need to tell someone. Someone else in the family.
I mean, otherwise, this surely doesn't feel real.
Shruti. Shruti, listen to me.
Your mother's going to tell your father. Your mother's going to tell Rohini.
Please, can you not do this for me?
You? Why?
Please. I need to mentally prepare.
Can you not just give me two, three months?
Think of it as a favor for an old friend.
I owe you nothing. Nothing.
[mumbles]
-Madan, No Fly. -Hmm?
Hmm.
-[in Hindi] Greetings. -Hmm.
[chuckles]
If you go any further, you'll have to pay me.
-What? -Nothing.
[man] Turn around.
[Arya groans]
Did you check on top? Little lower. Yes. [groans]
Turn around.
-You have strong hands. -You can go.
[in English] Put it back. Just because you're from BITS Pilani,
you don't have to feel so bad about being number two. Put it back, darling.
You put it back, five-point-nothing.
Use Me Darling. Dustbin title.
[continues indistinctly]
-[woman] India is one for all! -[people chanting]
[groans softly]
[exhaling]
[grunts]
-What are you doing? -[grunts]
Brother, I have a spasm in my upper back.
You can't do this over here.
Brother, I have a knot in my upper back.
Try to understand. I'm a married man.
Strange. This is a place for prayer, not for exercises.
Hey, get him out of here. See what he's doing? He's exercising.
Sir, you cannot exercise here.
[chanting in Sanskrit]
[in Hindi] Hey, where is your boss?
Boss has gone out. Madam is inside.
Hey, listen.
Where is your bathroom?
I mean, do you use it along with your boss or do you do it alone upstairs?
-Madam. -Huh?
[maid] Madam!
What did I say?
-[in English] Hello, Shruti. -Oh. Hi, Mr. Basu.
-Come in, come in. -No.
I just came to say that I spoke to Melinda yesterday as promised to you.
-Melinda? -Melinda Gates.
-[chuckles] Oh, yeah, of course. -[chuckles]
And Melinda is coming down next month.
Oh, that's wonderful.
-With Bill. -Even better. [chuckles]
I can introduce you to them.
That is so generous of you, Mr. Basu.
[in Bengali] What are you saying, Shruti? [in English] What are neighbors for?
-[both chuckle] -Thank you.
Shruti, one unrelated matter.
A very unfortunate incident has happened.
[mumbles]
Uh…
-Arya? -Yeah.
I just started following you, uh, like, half an hour back.
-Thank you. -What you did to that evil family, wow.
You're all over Twitter.
-[Shruti] Rohini! -[gasps]
-[girl over tablet] Is that your mom? -She knows.
-[Shruti] Ro! -[girl] Just accept everything.
[indistinct arguing on video]
Ro, did you record anything in Mr. Basu's home?
Yes.
-Did you send it to your dad? -No.
Then how is it all over Twitter?
I posted it from his account.
Mr. Basu, we will resolve this very, very soon. I promise you.
I mean, please don't worry. Please be rest assured.
Shruti, that loo has a leaky flush.
That's why we asked the maid not to use it.
Actually, after my divorce,
I have not been able to look into these matters personally.
Okay. I'm gonna just go back and deal with this, Mr. Basu.
I'm very sorry for putting you through this.
I will get back to you. Thank you.
[Shruti] Tell me. How did you post the video?
-You knew the password? -Yes.
-Give it to me. -I can't.
Anyway, Papa has already changed it.
Okay. But, Ro, why would you do this?
I mean, it's such a horrible thing to do, baby.
Why? They treat their maid so badly.
They deserve this.
[cell phone chimes]
[cell phone rings]
-Hello? -You need to delete that tweet, Arya.
[Arya] I'm not going to delete the tweet.
Unless, of course, you agree not to tell your mother about us.
-What the fuck? Sorry. -[line disconnects]
Excuse me. May I have a cup of black coffee, please?
Oh, crap.
What? You saw me and thought you could ask for a cup of coffee?
-No, it was a-- -What?
So all flight attendants are your servants at all times?
No, it's impulsive. Listen, I'm sorry. [sputters]
It's not as bad as it looks. It was a genuine mistake.
Uh… Wait a minute. You're that activist, no?
[laughs] Nobody's ever called me that before.
Yeah, you're that guy who stood up for that maid.
You've been talking about maids all morning.
-Shit. Arya… something, huh? -Arya Iyer.
-I'm Masha. -Oh, wow. Masha.
It's a… It's a very Russian name unless it's short for Mahasweta Devi.
[chuckles]
-It's a Sanskrit word. -Hey, wait a minute.
Uh…
Sixty-four grains of rice?
Yeah.
A knowledgeable man who also stands up for maids. Are you for real?
[chuckles and mumbles]
So, now I'm supposed to crack a self-dep… A joke on myself, but I…
You were about to say self-deprecatory, but you thought I wouldn't get it.
-Yeah. -Because I'm a dumb flight attendant?
No, no.
Pulp fiction writers are trained not to use words that Indians can't pronounce.
But, wow.
-Where are you flying to? -Mumbai.
-Fly India? -Yeah.
I'll see you on the flight, then.
-Maybe I'll ask you for coffee then. -[chuckles]
You can ask me for anything.
-Some guys bashed him up last week. -Really?
-They must have read his books. -[laughs]
-Arya? Hi. -[Arya] Hi.
I just saw Chetan in the business class. And how come you are here?
I just like to travel with my readers.
[laughs]
Mr. Arya Iyer.
-Masha. -Here. It's not plane coffee.
I have my own stock of Jamaican ground coffee.
[man] Give me also coffee.
[in Hindi] After takeoff, sir.
Why? You've given him some. Give me one, too.
This is a special order, sir.
How do I do that? Do I need to download some app?
-No. This is a special order, sir. -Mmm.
[in English] This coffee smells delicious.
I must say you smell pretty good yourself. Better than a Boeing.
That's a new one. Is that a yardstick for the crew members?
No, it's just something I like.
-[in Hindi] Okay, give me water at least. -Okay, sir.
[in English] So, how long are you in Bombay for?
-So-- -I need water now.
[in Hindi] You look very cheerful now. Your back doesn't hurt anymore.
Married man. Do yoga now. Do it.
Oh.
The seat belt sign is on.
Oh.
You follow all the rules of civil aviation.
But you don't follow any rules of God.
[Masha] Here you go, sir.
[in English] What were we saying?
Well, you were asking how long I was gonna be in Mumbai,
and I was saying for at least two days.
I'm a guest speaker at the Bandra International Fest.
-Oh. Fancy man. -Yeah.
-So-- -[man in Hindi] Give me more water.
What's with these small bottles?
[in English] Lovely coffee. [in Hindi] Wow. Smells awesome.
[in English] Hello, everybody. The seat belt signs are now turned off.
However, we request you that for your own safety,
you kindly stay seated with your seat belts fastened. Thank you.
[in Hindi] Now the seat belt sign is off. Start your circus.
Do your stretching. It will be fun to trouble them, too.
Boss. It is my body, my decision. I'll stretch where I want to.
Wow. My prayer, my decision. I can also do whatever, wherever.
-Please go ahead. -Yes, you bet I will.
Huh?
-[woman 1] Look over there. -[man 1] Hey, why is he doing that here?
-[in English] Hijack! -[passengers exclaiming]
[woman] Who said "hijack" and all? He was just praying.
[man] Exactly. [in Hindi] I just got scared.
[in English] What's this?
-Customer care number? -You must try it and see what happens.
-What's your talk about? -Just the usual. Being a bestseller.
-[cell phone chimes] -Excuse me.
[laughs]
[indistinct chatter]
Why are they asking you to interview eunuchs?
Transgenders.
Please don't go onstage and call them eunuchs.
And you wouldn't be asking this if you'd read his books.
I don't read any book that sells more than a hundred copies.
It's too lowbrow, man.
Okay. So the twist in The Girl Who Wounded Me
is that the hero turns out to be this eun… A transgender.
-[Agni] Arya? -[Arya] Hmm?
Have you ever made love to a eunuch?
-No. -Has a eunuch ever made love to you?
-Why're you looking at me? -Not that I know of.
It's divine. That's what you should tell all the men today.
That's what writers should do. Tell people what they should be doing.
Even if you have no fucking clue.
Why do you keep looking at me like that? You fucking perv!
I didn't… I didn't mean…
Mayank, be dignified towards other sexualities.
-I was-- -Hello, boys.
-[Agni] Hey. -Hi.
-How's it going? -Good.
Arya is going to tell all Indian men to experience eunuchs.
It's going to be a memorable day for Indian literature.
Oh. Your in-laws are in the audience and your daughter, too.
-[Mayank] Netflix, too. -Why are they here?
You're a better human being as a speaker. I invited them.
Whatever. Don't worry. I won't embarrass them.
Um…
-Can you come out for a second? -Now?
-I think that's what I meant. -[snickers]
Okay.
Sorry, boys. I'm going to steal him for a few seconds.
-[Mayank] No problem. Take your time. -[hums]
-You've not been taking my calls. -Bad signal.
We need to finish that chat.
That buckle. Can you actually buckle it or is it just stuck onto your dress?
It's a belt that needs to be buckled and worn.
-So, it's functional? -More functional than this marriage.
-Anyway, coming back to the-- -Tweet.
So, you're not gonna tell your mother about us?
Absolutely not. I am telling my mom tonight.
And these are two very separate things.
Then hear this. I'm not deleting shit.
And what's the use? It's all over the place anyways.
It's called basic courtesy, Arya.
We can't be pissing off neighbors, and Basu is a very useful man to me.
No.
You fucking stepped on my--
-Sorry, that was a genuine mistake. -Fuck.
-Fuck off, Arya. -Okay.
[sighs]
If you ask the literature experts, they'll say Chetan is not the best author.
Well, they are right. I'm not the best author.
I'm the bestselling author
-because of you guys. -[audience applauds]
-…some space between-- -Ma'am, it's urgent.
-What? -The eunuchs have canceled.
-[both] What? -I'm sorry, ma'am.
I tried calling them. They switched off their phones.
What the fuck? Fuck. What am I gonna tell Arya now?
-[woman 1] Shit. -Sorry, ma'am.
Okay, okay. You, go and get a replacement, right now.
-Ma'am, right now? -Right now.
This is Bombay. There are a dozen NGOs.
Call any of them and they'll find a replacement.
-Go, now! -Ma'am, but how will I get them, ma'am?
We're not even paying them. Who will come here?
-Excuse me? -[man] Yes, ma'am.
-Which way is the auditorium? -[man] Ma'am, straight and right.
-Thank you. -Shruti ma'am?
-Yes. -Ma'am, she's Arya sir's wife.
-Shruti ma'am. -[women] Hi.
-Hi. -Hi.
Um… We were actually just discussing Arya's event.
Um… Is there a problem?
Um…
Actually, the eunuchs that we had invited for him to interview,
they canceled last minute, and really embarrassing for us right now,
because Arya came all the way from Delhi just for this.
We just don't know what to do right now. It's…
You know he's been trending for the past two days, right?
-Yeah, I've seen it on Twitter. -[Shruti] Yeah.
Yeah, he's actually such a gem.
Oh, total gem. Um…
So, anyway, I was just thinking if a writer's been trending
for exposing how Indians treat their maids,
then maybe it would be a good idea for him to interview maids instead?
I mean, I don't know if that works for you.
-Wow. -Um…
[whispering] It'll work…
-I think that's a great idea. -[woman 1] We didn't think of that.
-That's fab. -Yeah?
-[woman 2] This will work. Okay. -[woman 1] It will.
You go, run. Inform Arya right now.
Oh, but I'm going to meet him. I'll tell him. But it's final.
No eunuchs. It's the maids now.
-[woman 2] Yes. -Right?
-Thank you. -[man] Straight and right.
-We might have a better event. -Sorted.
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen. May I call your host for the evening, Sadika.
[audience applauds]
I hope you're enjoying the closing night.
Our next event is unusual.
We have seven women who toil all day, and all days a week,
but earn below minimum wage and get no days off.
Give a hand to these amazing house helps.
[audience applauds]
[in Hindi] Greetings.
I thought the next event was Arya's. This is some other stuff.
[Sadika] They have no voice, no agency.
But two days ago, one of India's most popular authors showed the way.
He exposed some terrible practices in his own residential colony in Gurgaon.
It has raised a storm across the nation.
What better way to pay tribute to these lovely ladies
than asking the writer himself to interview them on stage.
[woman] Sir, what're you doing here? We were looking for you in the greenroom.
-Yeah, sure, I'm ready. -[woman] Come fast.
Do you think he knows?
[Arya in Hindi] Hey, give me the mic.
[in English] Thank you. Sorry.
Uh, good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
and welcome to another session of Breaking the Barriers. Uh…
It's quite a privilege to be here with you and to interview these…
[chuckling] Oh, my God. Just look at them. Oh, my God.
Such gorgeous people.
I mean, they're more gorgeous than half the women I know.
[chuckles]
But without much ado, let's just dive straight into it.
We all know that in India, it's quite a privilege to be a man.
We have freedom and privileges that women don't.
[in Hindi] But I want to ask you,
when did you first realize that you are a woman?
[mumbling] Realize?
[Arya] Yes?
-When I had my first period. -[women laugh]
Hey, tell me, too. When did you realize that you--
-[maid 1] From the beginning. -Okay, from the beginning?
Yes.
Wow. [in English] Lovely insight.
[in Hindi] They realized from the very beginning that
[in English] they are actually women. Wow!
[in Hindi] So, I want to ask you, on somedays, do you ever feel
that you are a man?
[maids] Huh?
Huh?
No?
-Not on some days, sir. -Okay.
But when we are the ones who pay the rent, pay the water and electricity bills,
pay the children's school fees--
[sputtering] Children? Do you have children, too?
I have three children.
[Arya laughs]
-[Arya] Okay, you have three children? -Yes.
-[Arya] Okay. -What is he talking about?
How did you have children?
[giggling]
[chuckles nervously] I mean, did you adopt them?
Sir, why would we adopt? We can give birth to children.
Oh, so you can give birth to children.
[in English] So that is something we need to explore later on.
[in Hindi] Speaking of childbirth,
as part of our custom, when a child is born,
people call you, and they make you dance in the middle of the road.
And you clap like this and dance.
Do you feel then that you're being treated unfairly?
-[all] No, we don't… -[maid 2] We don't clap.
Because, when a child is born,
we call eunuchs and take their blessings, you know.
What do you feel about that? As eunuchs--
[maid 3] Eunuchs?
I mean, a eunuch will be called a eunuch, right?
-He thinks we are eunuchs-- -[Arya] What you are…
Hey, douchebag! Whom are you calling an eunuch?
-[maids clamoring] -["Figaro" playing]
["Figaro" continues playing]