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NETFLIX MEMPERSEMBAHKAN

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INDUSTRI FILEM TAMIL BERSATU UNTUK
MENYOKONG ORANG-ORANGNYA KETIKA PANDEMIK.

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{\an8}9 KISAH
EMOSI

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GELAK KETAWA

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KETAWA
"SEHARI TANPA KETAWA ADALAH KERUGIAN"

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MUSIM PANAS 1992

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ADAPTASI KISAH BENAR

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PERISTIWA HIDUP
ENCIK TAK BERSALAH VAREED THEKKETHALA

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(PELAKON)

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<i>Inilah kampung saya.</i>

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<i>Tempat saya lahir.</i>

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<i>Saya membesar di sini.</i>

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<i>Tempat bermain dan jatuh terluka.</i>

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<i>Saya tahu setiap ceruk tempat ini.</i>

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<i>Dulu saya terjun di sungai ini,</i>

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<i>berenang jauh dan hempas kelapa</i>
<i>di kuil Ganesha.</i>

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<i>Rumah beratap jerami Kakak Shanthi.</i>

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<i>Gerai nenek yang bongkok.</i>

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<i>Kuil kegemaran dan banyak tempat popular.</i>

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<i>Aroma bayu membangkitkan</i>
<i>semua kenangan lama.</i>

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Salam sejahtera.

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Selamat datang diucapkan.

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Memperkenalkan alumni yang menjulang
nama dan kemasyhuran sekolah,

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selamat datang kepada pelakon
En. Veluswamy bagi pihak semua.

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En. Veluswamy lucu orangnya
dan buat kita ketawa.

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Untuk kata kelucuannya
mengalir di setiap urat badan

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bukanlah begitu memuji.

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Kepada tetamu kehormat
yang melakar nama di layar perak Tamil,

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saya meminta pengetua
menyampaikan sejambak bunga.

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Terima kasih.

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Terima kasih.

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ACARA TAHUNAN

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Walaupun sibuk,

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tuan tetap meluangkan masa
dan usaha untuk hadir

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meraikan ulang tahun ke-100 ini,

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setinggi-tinggi terima kasih kami ucapkan.

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Saya mengalu-alukan alumni dan ibu bapa
turut serta dalam detik membanggakan ini…

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Tuan, bukankah itu Puan Lakshmi?

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Boleh tahan, ingatan awak masih jelas.

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Keluarga dia pula?

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Dia tinggal seorang diri.

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- Cucu?
- Aduhai! Dia anak dara tualah!

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Saya minta En. Veluswamy merasmikan acara
dengan menyalakan pelita kami.

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Dipersilakan Raja Lawak Encik Veluswamy

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memberi sepatah dua kata
untuk ulang tahun ke-100 kita.

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Salam sejahtera.

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Terima kasih.

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Puan pengacara majlis
sebut banyak kebenaran.

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Namun, satu pembohongan.

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Dia kata saya belajar di sini.

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Saya tak belajar pun.

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Nak lulus pun sungguh seksa.

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- Cepat!
- Pergi ke kelas masing-masing.

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Selamat pagi, cikgu.

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Selamat pagi. Duduk.

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Terima kasih, cikgu.

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Saya guru kelas kamu tahun ini.

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Tahniah buat pelajar
yang naik ke gred sembilan.

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Tahun depan, kamu tamat pengajian.

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Saya nak tahu

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berapa ramai yang gagal
gred sembilan tahun lepas?

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Okey. Duduk.

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Ada pelajar yang mengulang
gred sembilan selama dua tahun?

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Okey, duduk.

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Semua orang patut berjaya pada tahun ini.

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Memang biasa untuk gagal.

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Tapi, tak mengapa.

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Yang penting, kita cuba mencapai kejayaan.

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- Mula-mula…
- Cikgu, Veluswamy tak berdiri.

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Siapa Veluswamy?

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Kenapa kamu tak berdiri?

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Cikgu kata ulang gred dua atau tiga kali.

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Saya dah empat kali.

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Saya sangka cikgu nak tanya
untuk kali keempat.

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Ambil sayur ini dan beri kepada ibu kamu.

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Kalau kamu merayau, membuang masa

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dan pulang lewat,
jangan harap dapat makan!

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Kerja beli sayur ini
ganggu perniagaan saya.

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- Anak awak gagal lagi tahun ini?
- Macam biasa.

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Semasa gred satu, MGR kawan sekelasnya.

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Dia dapat jadi ketua menteri.

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Anak dia masih gred sembilan.

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Apa boleh buat? Sudah takdir saya.

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- Kenal adik saya, Kandasamy?
- Joe mata satu?

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Betul. Dia carikan kerja timbang
daun teh untuk anak saya di Ceylon.

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Tapi untuk layak,
perlu lulus gred sepuluh.

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Sebab itulah dia masih belajar.

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Kenapa nak belajar tentang
reformasi Akbar untuk timbang daun teh?

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<i>Dia mati selepas korek tasik</i>
<i>dan tanam pokok di tepi jalan.</i>

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Apa faedahnya untuk saya?

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Lupakan reformasi ini.

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Ilmu hisab asas, dua tambah dua
jadi empat pun dah cukup.

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Kenapa tukang timbang perlu algebra?

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Kenapa perlukan (a+b)²?

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Awak tahu sebabnya.

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Salah seorangnya, Dr. Abdul Kalam.

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Dia buktikan bahawa orang miskin
masih boleh jadi presiden India.

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Orang kedua.

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Membuktikan penjual teh stesen kereta api
boleh jadi perdana menteri.

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Adakah maknanya semua orang
boleh jadi presiden atau menteri?

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Semuanya mengikut takdir.

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Apa pendapat awak, Tuan Misai?

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Saya bukan gagal kerana tak belajar.
Tapi, takdir saya.

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<i>Biar saya ceritakan.</i>

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HENTIAN BAS

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Busuknya!

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Saya tak tahan bau ini.
Perut rasa bergelodak.

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Trak itu penuh najis manusia.

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Tak mungkin wangi.

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Ke mana trak itu pergi?

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- Nampak bukit di sana?
- Ya.

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Ada terusan besar di situ.

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Najis dibuang di situ
dan serbuk kapur ditabur di atasnya.

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Kenapa?

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Serbuk kapur mengubah najis manusia
menjadi baja.

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Baja digunakan di ladang terbuka.

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Tengok buah mangga itu.

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Pokok ini di laman rumah
cikgu matematik, Krishna Iyer.

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Palakattu Madhavan, duduk di sana.

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Tengok kalau tiada orang.

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Tiada sesiapa.

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Cuma perempuan tua keringkan papodom.

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Tengoklah balingan saya!

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Kena kepala dia!

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- Kepala saya berdarah!
- Lari!

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Anak siapa buat begini? Aduhai, Ambujam!

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Ada orang cuba bunuh saya!

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Cepat datang!

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Apa yang awak buat di situ?

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Aduh!

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Hei, dungu!

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Ada penyangak cederakan kepala ibu saya.

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Tak guna! Dia dah mati atau hidup?

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Budak-budak tak guna!

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<i>Tak guna!</i>

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MATEMATIK - MARKAH
18/100 - GAGAL

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Cikgu Krishna Iyer buat saya
ulang setahun ketika gred sembilan.

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Apa kemungkinannya mak cik itu
keringkan popadom ketika panas terik

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semasa saya baling batu itu?

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Itulah maksudnya "takdir".

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Takdir sama yang buat
saya mengulang tahun seterusnya.

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Kawan.

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Hei! Murugesan!

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- Kasut baharu?
- Ya.

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Mari sini.

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Nampaknya ayah awak kaya.

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Kasut awak cantik. Tunjukkan.

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Tanggalkan dulu baru tunjuk.

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Nampak cantik, bukan?

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- Jangan beri kepada dia!
- Pulangkan!

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- Masuk kelas.
- Tendang kuat-kuat.

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- Beri kepada saya.
- Dia cuba rampas.

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- Biar saya uruskan.
- Tendang.

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- Sebelah sini.
- Beri kepada saya.

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- Dia datang.
- Hantar kepada saya.

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- Beri kepada saya.
- Ke tepi.

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Hei!

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Alamak!

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Jaga! Jangan lepaskan!

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- Aduh!
- Ambil!

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Ke mana awak semua menghilang?

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<i>Pelajar tak perlu asyik belajar.</i>

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<i>Pelajar juga harus bermain.</i>

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<i>Saya hanya bergurau.</i>

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<i>Kenapa saya dihukum sampai begitu?</i>

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SEJARAH - MARKAH - 8/100 - GAGAL

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Tahun seterusnya,
hukuman saya lebih teruk.

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En. Shanmugam datang ke sekolah
sebagai cikgu baharu.

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<i>Terkenal kerana lengan sasa</i>
<i>dan renungan tajamnya.</i>

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<i>Dia patut jadi jurulatih tinju.</i>
<i>Tapi, dia jadi cikgu.</i>

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Kami beri nama jolokan kepadanya.

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Cuba teka.

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Sandiyar atau Rowdy Shanmugam.

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<i>Semasa dia mengajar kami,</i>

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<i>kelas senyap sunyi</i>
<i>sampai lalat pun tak berbunyi.</i>

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Bos dah datang.

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Masuklah, tuan. Silakan!

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Silakan masuk, tuan.

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- Maaf, cikgu!
- Tidak!

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Kamu tak perlu hormat cikgu.

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00:13:36,375 --> 00:13:39,166
Ibu bapa cikgu kata
perlu hormat orang tua,

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00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,166
sebab itu cikgu tunduk hormat.

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Duduklah di kelas kami, tuan.

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00:13:43,458 --> 00:13:47,041
Ibu bapa juga suruh cikgu
hormat orang tua.

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00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:49,833
Cikgu lagi suka kalau
kamu berdiri di atas meja.

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00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,500
- Tak mahu, cikgu.
- Silakan.

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00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:53,250
- Cikgu…
- Berdiri sekarang!

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00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,583
Berdiri! Awak datang sesuka hati
macam ini tempat awak?

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00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:02,791
Eksperimen kucing Schrödinger.

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00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,583
Hei, mulut lancang. Jelaskan kepada kelas.

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00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:08,958
Cikgu, eksperimen…

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00:14:14,958 --> 00:14:16,208
Berdiri di atas bangku.

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00:14:17,541 --> 00:14:20,875
<i>Ramai murid di kelas saya</i>
<i>pasti tahu jawapannya.</i>

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00:14:20,958 --> 00:14:23,333
<i>Dia tak pernah tanya mereka.</i>

195
00:14:23,416 --> 00:14:25,416
<i>Asyik saya saja jadi sasaran.</i>

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00:14:26,875 --> 00:14:32,166
Satu lagi, tiada sesiapa
pernah nampak dia tersenyum.

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00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:33,916
Kecuali saya.

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00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:38,000
<i>Dia tersenyum semasa</i>
<i>bermain cinta dengan Cik Radhamani.</i>

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00:14:38,083 --> 00:14:39,208
Selalu begitu.

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00:14:39,291 --> 00:14:41,791
Awak nampak gembira.

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00:14:41,875 --> 00:14:44,375
En. Shanmugam buat lawak.

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00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:46,125
Letak buku di atas meja itu.

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00:14:46,833 --> 00:14:48,583
En. Shanmugam melawak?

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00:14:48,666 --> 00:14:50,416
- Dahsyatnya!
- Tuan…

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00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:53,166
Berseronok saja. Janganlah usik saya.

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00:14:57,083 --> 00:14:59,166
<i>Saya akan balas dendam nanti.</i>

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00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:06,041
"'Rajas' Cinta Rowdy Shanmugam."

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00:15:06,916 --> 00:15:10,375
{\an8}"Tambah 'Rat' Radhamani."

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00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:12,708
"Rowdy-Mani."

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TANDAS

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00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:30,791
Apa maksud "Raja Cinta"?

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00:15:30,875 --> 00:15:33,000
Banyak salah eja juga.

213
00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:35,416
Entah siapa punya angkara.

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00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:37,416
Tak boleh dipadam guna air.

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00:15:38,916 --> 00:15:40,083
Selamat pagi.

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00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:45,458
Jangan bersedih.

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00:15:45,541 --> 00:15:47,625
Tentu ada si dungu yang conteng.

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00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:54,208
Orang yang melakukannya patut dibuang.

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Memang tak guna!

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00:16:03,958 --> 00:16:05,875
Hei! Rowdy-Mani dah sampai.

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00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:08,875
- Apa yang kelakar?
- Tiada apa-apa, cikgu.

222
00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:13,625
Hei! Kenapa ketawakan cikgu?

223
00:16:13,708 --> 00:16:15,583
Cikgu tak pakai baju?

224
00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:21,833
Jalan elok-elok.

225
00:16:24,541 --> 00:16:26,166
Berikan seikat bayam.

226
00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:30,375
- Berapa?
- Rowdy-Mani!

227
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,333
Rowdy-Mani.

228
00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:37,416
Hei! Rowdy-Mani.

229
00:16:38,708 --> 00:16:41,208
Hei! Siapa yang panggil
dengan nama itu tadi?

230
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,541
Kalau berani, tunjuklah muka!

231
00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:44,583
Keluar!

232
00:16:47,416 --> 00:16:49,208
Tak boleh, Thangarasu.

233
00:16:49,833 --> 00:16:51,958
Anak gadis saya 30 tahun.

234
00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:57,041
Mengahwinkan dia dengan lelaki 45 tahun.
Adakah sesuai begitu?

235
00:16:59,625 --> 00:17:03,125
Kedudukan planet Marikh
memang menyusahkan.

236
00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:05,583
Malah, nak menantu tinggi, cerah, kacak,

237
00:17:05,666 --> 00:17:08,125
berpendidikan dan orang senang.

238
00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:09,791
Sekarang nak menantu muda.

239
00:17:09,875 --> 00:17:12,833
Mana saya nak cari?
Baik saya berhenti kerja.

240
00:17:12,916 --> 00:17:15,875
Tapi, saya masih susah nak terima
perbezaan umur ini…

241
00:17:15,958 --> 00:17:17,958
- Jumpalah dia dulu.
- Awak boleh…

242
00:17:18,041 --> 00:17:20,541
Tuan, saya nak tukar nama jolokan itu.

243
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:22,500
- Duduk.
- Nanti saya…

244
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,708
- Dengar sini.
- Kita bincang kemudian.

245
00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:26,250
Duduklah.

246
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:27,375
Saya kata duduk.

247
00:17:29,791 --> 00:17:30,625
Tuan.

248
00:17:31,125 --> 00:17:33,041
- Saya kata lain kali.
- Beg saya.

249
00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:34,041
Apa-apalah.

250
00:17:35,416 --> 00:17:37,583
Tuan, tukar nama jolokan itu.

251
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,125
Seluruh kampung panggil saya
"Rowdy-Mani" sekarang.

252
00:17:42,958 --> 00:17:44,708
Saya malu sampai tak nak keluar.

253
00:17:45,375 --> 00:17:48,666
Cik Radhamani asyik menangis
dan kata nak bunuh diri.

254
00:17:48,791 --> 00:17:50,166
Tuan perlu cari jalan.

255
00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:53,583
- Saya tiada tujuan lain…
- Saya tahu, Shanmugam.

256
00:17:53,666 --> 00:17:56,333
Ada penyangak yang mencontengnya.

257
00:17:56,416 --> 00:17:58,708
Tapi, saya tak tahu cara untuk betulkan.

258
00:17:58,791 --> 00:18:01,958
Ada 300 murid di sekolah.
Bagaimana kita nak tangkap?

259
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:04,125
Saya tahu, tuan.

260
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:09,791
Jelas yang pelakunya tak pandai mengeja.

261
00:18:09,875 --> 00:18:10,875
Jadi?

262
00:18:10,958 --> 00:18:14,000
Ujian mengeja kepada murid
gred lima hingga sepuluh.

263
00:18:14,625 --> 00:18:17,333
Murid yang salah eja ialah pelakunya.

264
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:22,750
<i>Lion King.</i>

265
00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:24,125
Raja antara raja.

266
00:18:24,208 --> 00:18:25,583
Dewa Krishna hebat.

267
00:18:25,666 --> 00:18:26,833
Ratu Sheba.

268
00:18:26,916 --> 00:18:28,541
<i>Foxglove </i>lavender.

269
00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:30,625
{\an8}RAJAS ANTARA RAJAS
RAT SHEEPA

270
00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:31,791
{\an8}LAV FOX LAVENTAR

271
00:18:31,875 --> 00:18:33,291
{\an8}<i>Foxglove </i>lavender.

272
00:18:37,291 --> 00:18:39,208
Raja dan ratu di tandu…

273
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,000
Tulis.

274
00:18:48,125 --> 00:18:49,541
Ikut cikgu.

275
00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:51,125
Tuan, dia orangnya!

276
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:54,083
Saya dah agak memang kerja dia.

277
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:56,583
Kesalahan ejaan sama dan tulisan serupa!

278
00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:02,166
<i>Saya digantung sekolah tiga bulan.</i>

279
00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:06,125
<i>Prestasi saya teruk di sekolah</i>
<i>walaupun belajar setahun.</i>

280
00:19:06,208 --> 00:19:09,958
<i>Bayangkan jika saya tak pergi</i>
<i>selama tiga bulan.</i>

281
00:19:13,875 --> 00:19:15,333
<i>Tahun itu pun saya gagal.</i>

282
00:19:16,041 --> 00:19:19,041
<i>Tapi, ayah tetap mahu saya</i>
<i>lulus gred sepuluh</i>

283
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:21,000
<i>dan hantar saya ke Ceylon.</i>

284
00:19:22,166 --> 00:19:23,958
<i>Saya kembali ke sekolah.</i>

285
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:28,958
Tahun itu, ketika kembali
bersekolah semula,

286
00:19:29,041 --> 00:19:30,166
saya buat keputusan.

287
00:19:30,708 --> 00:19:33,916
Saya takkan hampakan impian ayah lagi.

288
00:19:43,208 --> 00:19:44,083
Tuan.

289
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:46,208
- Pengantin kasta Brahmin.
- Apa?

290
00:19:46,291 --> 00:19:48,208
Tuan, saya kata kasta Brahmin!

291
00:19:48,291 --> 00:19:49,125
Apa?

292
00:19:49,208 --> 00:19:51,708
Setidak-tidaknya awak dengar.
Dia kasta Brahmin.

293
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,833
- Apa?
- Brahmin!

294
00:19:54,958 --> 00:19:57,375
Tuan tak dengar saya cakap langsung.

295
00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:58,958
Suruh anjing itu diam.

296
00:19:59,041 --> 00:20:01,958
Kalau dilepaskan, ia berlari merata-rata.

297
00:20:02,041 --> 00:20:04,541
Susahkan semua orang.

298
00:20:04,625 --> 00:20:06,541
Kenapa anjing nak peluk orang?

299
00:20:07,625 --> 00:20:08,916
Lepaskan ikatan anjing itu!

300
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,375
- Tolong, puan.
- Minumlah.

301
00:20:10,458 --> 00:20:11,875
Saya tak dapat dengar.

302
00:20:12,416 --> 00:20:14,791
Kenapa bising sangat, sayang?

303
00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:19,250
Pergilah.

304
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:21,750
Pergi.

305
00:20:26,416 --> 00:20:29,041
- Pengantin lelaki…
- Kenapa menjerit?

306
00:20:29,583 --> 00:20:31,041
Dia kasta Brahmin.

307
00:20:31,666 --> 00:20:32,750
Cakap macam biasa.

308
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:35,041
Brahmin dengan Marikh lesu.

309
00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:37,833
Empat tahun lalu,
dia jatuh cinta dan berkahwin.

310
00:20:37,916 --> 00:20:38,875
Tapi, kasihan.

311
00:20:38,958 --> 00:20:41,083
Tiga hari selepas berkahwin,

312
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:44,083
isterinya jatuh di bilik air,
terhantuk kepala dan mati.

313
00:20:45,083 --> 00:20:48,083
Ibu bapanya cuba cari
calon yang sesuai untuknya.

314
00:20:48,166 --> 00:20:49,416
Namun, mereka gagal.

315
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,250
Puncanya, horoskop dia.

316
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:55,375
Sebab itu mereka kata,
"Kami tak kisah tentang kasta.

317
00:20:55,458 --> 00:20:57,791
Kami cuma nak gadis baik
daripada keluarga baik."

318
00:20:57,875 --> 00:21:01,458
Saya tunjuk gambar guru kami dan horoskop.

319
00:21:01,541 --> 00:21:03,333
Mereka terus setuju.

320
00:21:04,041 --> 00:21:06,291
Tuan, dengar cakap saya.

321
00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:09,083
Lelaki itulah calon paling sesuai
untuk cikgu kita.

322
00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:11,666
Tak perlu cakap lagi.
Beritahu yang saya setuju.

323
00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:13,291
Pergilah.

324
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:17,916
- Saya pergi dulu.
- Okey.

325
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,583
Bila mereka nak datang?

326
00:21:19,666 --> 00:21:22,083
Rasanya sesuai datang hari Rabu.

327
00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:24,083
Demi Dewa Rama! Bersepah!

328
00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:25,541
Hei! Berhenti!

329
00:21:25,625 --> 00:21:27,625
- Hei! Jangan lari!
- Biarkan.

330
00:21:27,708 --> 00:21:29,625
Saya kata berhenti!

331
00:21:30,291 --> 00:21:31,625
Berhenti!

332
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:35,541
Anjing itu terbalikkan mangkuk,
habis tumpah susu mentega.

333
00:21:35,625 --> 00:21:39,333
Kalau anjing awak masuk lagi,
saya jadikan daging cencang.

334
00:21:39,833 --> 00:21:41,875
- Maharasa!
- Buang saja anjing itu.

335
00:21:41,958 --> 00:21:43,000
Tunggu!

336
00:21:45,625 --> 00:21:47,583
Tak nampak macam anjing tempatan.

337
00:21:48,083 --> 00:21:50,500
- Dari mana awak beli?
- Bukan dibeli.

338
00:21:50,583 --> 00:21:51,625
Ia datang sendiri.

339
00:21:52,291 --> 00:21:55,125
Seorang paderi datang ke gereja.

340
00:21:55,208 --> 00:21:57,500
Orang asing. Itu anjingnya.

341
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,041
Namanya King.

342
00:21:59,916 --> 00:22:02,291
- Maksudnya?
- Maharaja!

343
00:22:02,875 --> 00:22:04,000
- Nama anjing itu?
- Ya.

344
00:22:04,083 --> 00:22:05,083
Aduhai.

345
00:22:06,541 --> 00:22:08,625
Orang asing itu putus asa.

346
00:22:08,708 --> 00:22:10,208
Anjingnya melompat ke sini.

347
00:22:10,750 --> 00:22:13,750
Anak saya pangku anjing itu di riba.

348
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,833
Bermulalah segalanya.

349
00:22:15,916 --> 00:22:17,791
Kenapa tak tinggalkan saja?

350
00:22:18,625 --> 00:22:20,125
Sudah empat kali saya cuba.

351
00:22:20,208 --> 00:22:21,958
Ia terus balik segera.

352
00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:28,208
Dua kali saya letak racun pada makanannya.

353
00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:30,375
Anjing itu tak sentuh pun.

354
00:22:30,458 --> 00:22:32,958
Jangan marah kalau saya cakap.

355
00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:35,916
Bukan salah saya kalau ikatan ini
dibatalkan kerana anjing.

356
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,666
Mereka keluarga Brahmin ortodoks.

357
00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:39,708
Mereka anggap anjing sebagai gangguan.

358
00:22:40,250 --> 00:22:43,541
Sembilan tahun saya cuba carikan calon
dan berjalan jauh mencarinya.

359
00:22:43,625 --> 00:22:45,416
Kalau gagal kerana anjing itu…

360
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:48,208
- Saya faham.
- …saya takkan cari lagi.

361
00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:57,500
Awak belanja sebanyak itu?

362
00:22:58,041 --> 00:23:01,125
Kalau dilayan bagai raja,
saya tak kisah baring begitu.

363
00:23:01,208 --> 00:23:02,916
Saya tak nak rantai.

364
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,833
Lapan <i>idli </i>untuk sarapan.

365
00:23:05,708 --> 00:23:06,916
Sebekas <i>sambar.</i>

366
00:23:07,416 --> 00:23:10,333
Anjing itu takkan makan
tanpa nasi asam jawa.

367
00:23:10,416 --> 00:23:11,875
Ini anjing atau hantu?

368
00:23:12,541 --> 00:23:14,958
Anjing makan semua itu, tapi masih hidup?

369
00:23:15,875 --> 00:23:18,458
- Dipukul pun takkan mati.
- Jadi, memang hantu.

370
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,125
Makan malam pula?

371
00:23:20,208 --> 00:23:21,875
- Ia tak makan malam.
- Kenapa?

372
00:23:21,958 --> 00:23:23,041
Diet.

373
00:23:25,625 --> 00:23:27,750
Malam hari, ia berlegar keliling rumah.

374
00:23:27,833 --> 00:23:30,375
Cari mangsa untuk digigit. Siapa agaknya?

375
00:23:30,458 --> 00:23:36,000
Ia pernah makan ayam milik jiran.

376
00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:38,291
Saya bayar ganti rugi.

377
00:23:40,041 --> 00:23:42,208
Pagi hari, tukang hantar susu datang.

378
00:23:42,291 --> 00:23:45,875
Anjing itu gigit dia
sampai jadi kes polis.

379
00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:48,291
Selepas itu, kami minum kopi keras saja.

380
00:23:48,375 --> 00:23:52,833
Kalau beritahu majlis perbandaran
yang anjing itu ganas, mereka akan ambil.

381
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,500
Lakshmi pasti membantah.

382
00:23:56,208 --> 00:23:59,791
Dia yang memanjakan anjing itu.

383
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:02,458
Kalau tiada mangsa untuk digigit,

384
00:24:02,541 --> 00:24:05,500
anjing itu diam-diam baring
di tepi anak saya.

385
00:24:05,583 --> 00:24:08,125
Lebih bahaya begitu.

386
00:24:08,208 --> 00:24:12,500
Apa jaminannya ia tak baring
di sebelah anak awak dan suaminya?

387
00:24:12,583 --> 00:24:15,125
Malam pertama dia akan jadi yang terakhir!

388
00:24:15,208 --> 00:24:19,041
Iyer, tutup mulut awak
dan jangan menyumpah.

389
00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:22,208
Kepala saya bagai nak pecah memikirkannya.

390
00:24:22,291 --> 00:24:25,625
Pengantin dan keluarganya datang
Rabu depan untuk muktamadkan ikatan.

391
00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:29,666
Tuan pengetua.

392
00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:35,000
Saya beri satu idea.

393
00:24:35,083 --> 00:24:38,250
- Apa?
- Anjing itu tak suka anjing lain.

394
00:24:38,333 --> 00:24:40,083
Kami ada anjing begitu.

395
00:24:40,875 --> 00:24:43,625
- Anjing mana?
- Rupa macam khinzir, tapi ia anjing.

396
00:24:44,458 --> 00:24:45,583
Veluswamy.

397
00:24:45,666 --> 00:24:48,083
Dia tak pandai akademik,

398
00:24:48,166 --> 00:24:51,625
tapi pandai mengusik orang lain.

399
00:24:51,708 --> 00:24:52,916
Minta bantuan dia.

400
00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:01,458
Sebab itu nak jumpa saya seorang?

401
00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:03,500
- Ya.
- Jangan risau.

402
00:25:03,583 --> 00:25:06,958
- Saya boleh tolong cikgu.
- Tak semudah kamu sangka.

403
00:25:07,041 --> 00:25:09,708
Saya akan uruskan
dan anjing itu takkan balik.

404
00:25:09,791 --> 00:25:10,958
- Itu saja?
- Ya.

405
00:25:11,500 --> 00:25:13,833
- Cikgu perlu balas.
- Apa?

406
00:25:13,916 --> 00:25:16,333
Saya patut naik gred sepuluh tahun ini.

407
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,833
Sejak sepuluh tahun lepas,
ada kerja menanti saya di Ceylon.

408
00:25:20,416 --> 00:25:22,000
Ayah mahu saya pergi ke sana.

409
00:25:22,083 --> 00:25:24,208
Cikgu perlu naikkan saya ke gred sepuluh.

410
00:25:24,833 --> 00:25:26,416
Baiklah, cikgu setuju.

411
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:29,125
Cikgu perlu beri
paling sikit sepuluh rupee.

412
00:25:29,208 --> 00:25:30,416
Kenapa?

413
00:25:30,500 --> 00:25:32,083
Kalau bayar dua rupee sekepala,

414
00:25:32,166 --> 00:25:34,208
mereka sanggup tolong.

415
00:25:34,291 --> 00:25:35,833
Apa rancangan kamu?

416
00:25:36,541 --> 00:25:38,250
Sekarang paras air sungai tinggi.

417
00:25:38,333 --> 00:25:39,541
Cikgu tengoklah sendiri.

418
00:25:39,625 --> 00:25:42,208
Kalau hujan sekarang, lebih tinggi lagi.

419
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:45,000
Tasik dekat Kuil Shiva
bertambah dalam dan deras.

420
00:25:45,541 --> 00:25:49,916
Kalau bawa ke seberang tebing,
anjing itu takkan balik.

421
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,833
Hanya ada petani di tebing sana.

422
00:25:51,916 --> 00:25:54,750
Ia pasti dapat hidup.

423
00:25:55,583 --> 00:25:57,041
Tanpa nasi asam jawa…

424
00:25:57,125 --> 00:25:58,041
Nasi asam jawa?

425
00:25:58,625 --> 00:25:59,541
Tak.

426
00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:02,666
Malam esok, datang ke rumah saya
dan ambil anjing itu

427
00:26:02,750 --> 00:26:04,416
semasa cikgu kamu pergi ke kuil.

428
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:06,666
Kalau dia tahu, perang pasti meletus.

429
00:26:07,291 --> 00:26:09,041
- Faham?
- Ya, cikgu.

430
00:26:15,166 --> 00:26:16,541
Cepat.

431
00:26:17,625 --> 00:26:19,125
Nasib baik anjing itu tidur.

432
00:26:19,208 --> 00:26:21,291
- Di mana?
- Di atas katil istimewanya.

433
00:26:23,125 --> 00:26:24,708
- Okey.
- Masuk.

434
00:26:32,750 --> 00:26:36,291
- Cantik hiasannya, betul?
- Sari dewi dan burung kakak tua cantik.

435
00:26:38,541 --> 00:26:40,458
<i>Kalau kau tak bersamaku…</i>

436
00:26:40,541 --> 00:26:42,041
Kita jumpa pagi nanti.

437
00:26:42,125 --> 00:26:43,750
<i>Aku seakan tak wujud…</i>

438
00:26:43,833 --> 00:26:46,125
Maharasa!

439
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,583
Saya bawa nasi asam jawa
dari kuil untuk awak.

440
00:26:49,666 --> 00:26:51,541
<i>Mengubah haluanku…</i>

441
00:26:51,625 --> 00:26:54,083
Ayah, mana si raja itu?

442
00:26:54,708 --> 00:26:57,583
Manalah ayah kenal raja atau ratu.

443
00:26:57,666 --> 00:27:00,083
Tentu anjing itu
pergi tangkap khinzir atau ayam.

444
00:27:00,958 --> 00:27:04,583
<i>Seni mengubah haluan hidupku…</i>

445
00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:05,708
Raja!

446
00:27:05,791 --> 00:27:06,791
Raja!

447
00:27:07,458 --> 00:27:08,458
Raja!

448
00:27:09,541 --> 00:27:11,041
Cepat, kawan-kawan.

449
00:27:19,708 --> 00:27:22,166
Awak nak kita semua bekerja
untuk satu rupee?

450
00:27:22,250 --> 00:27:23,500
Berilah dua rupee.

451
00:27:24,041 --> 00:27:26,250
Kita bawa harimau? Cuma anjing saja.

452
00:27:26,333 --> 00:27:27,416
Mereka dah sampai.

453
00:27:29,791 --> 00:27:31,041
Selamat datang.

454
00:27:34,708 --> 00:27:36,625
- Salam sejahtera.
- Salam sejahtera.

455
00:27:37,250 --> 00:27:39,333
Hati-hati.

456
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,708
- Kopi.
- Biar sejuk sedikit.

457
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,666
Ada bau busuk.

458
00:27:59,333 --> 00:28:01,208
Sumbat hidung awak.

459
00:28:01,291 --> 00:28:04,791
- Najis sekampung di sini.
- Pegang bakul elok-elok.

460
00:28:04,875 --> 00:28:06,958
Hei! Tangkap anjing itu!

461
00:28:07,041 --> 00:28:09,625
- Pegang kolarnya!
- Ia lari!

462
00:28:09,708 --> 00:28:11,791
Tangkap!

463
00:28:11,875 --> 00:28:14,125
Cepat tangkap!

464
00:28:18,458 --> 00:28:20,416
Ke tepi, biar saya tangkap.

465
00:28:23,083 --> 00:28:24,500
Tak guna!

466
00:28:25,208 --> 00:28:26,500
Cepat ambil anjing itu!

467
00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:32,500
Selamatkan ia. Anjing itu boleh mati.

468
00:28:32,583 --> 00:28:34,041
Saya beri dua rupee lagi.

469
00:28:34,125 --> 00:28:36,541
Saya tak rela kalau 1,000 rupee pun.
Buat sendiri.

470
00:28:36,625 --> 00:28:39,041
- Kalau mati, kita akan dipenjarakan!
- Sudahlah!

471
00:28:41,875 --> 00:28:43,958
- Bagaimana sekarang?
- Saya tak tahu.

472
00:28:44,041 --> 00:28:45,083
Selamatkan ia!

473
00:28:57,666 --> 00:28:58,708
Syukur kepada Tuhan.

474
00:28:58,791 --> 00:28:59,875
Akhirnya saya lega.

475
00:29:00,458 --> 00:29:03,750
Bakal pengantin saling menyukai.

476
00:29:03,833 --> 00:29:05,708
Kedua-dua keluarga gembira?

477
00:29:05,791 --> 00:29:07,666
Isteri saya hanya ada satu syarat.

478
00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:10,666
Dia cuci barang rumah sepuluh kali sehari.

479
00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:14,250
Sebab itulah rumah sentiasa nampak baharu.

480
00:29:14,333 --> 00:29:18,083
Dia harap bakal menantu sama macam dia.

481
00:29:18,166 --> 00:29:21,791
Apabila kami datang,
barulah kami tahu dia macam isteri saya.

482
00:29:29,208 --> 00:29:32,041
Hei! Ke mana awak nak lari?

483
00:29:32,833 --> 00:29:33,958
Tangkap!

484
00:29:34,041 --> 00:29:35,708
- Tangkap anjing itu!
- Lari!

485
00:29:35,791 --> 00:29:39,291
- Jangan terlepas!
- Saya tak dapat tangkap!

486
00:29:39,375 --> 00:29:41,666
Kenapa awak lari?

487
00:29:41,750 --> 00:29:43,291
Matilah kita kalau ia terlepas.

488
00:29:43,375 --> 00:29:45,833
Tangkap anjing tak guna itu!

489
00:30:09,041 --> 00:30:10,041
Di mana anjing itu?

490
00:30:11,500 --> 00:30:12,333
Anjing?

491
00:30:16,958 --> 00:30:19,583
Apa lagi yang ditunggu?
Mari bertukar buah.

492
00:30:49,541 --> 00:30:54,333
MARKAH - 0/100

493
00:31:05,416 --> 00:31:06,833
Takdir akhirnya…

494
00:31:09,166 --> 00:31:11,166
membawa saya ke sini. Satu kitaran.

495
00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:18,750
Maafkan saya, cikgu.

496
00:31:18,833 --> 00:31:22,208
Hidup cikgu musnah kerana kebodohan saya.

497
00:31:22,291 --> 00:31:24,708
Saya tak berniat mengkhianati cikgu.

498
00:31:24,791 --> 00:31:26,291
Jangan sumpah saya.

499
00:31:29,416 --> 00:31:31,000
Kami bangga dengan kamu.

500
00:31:32,083 --> 00:31:34,250
Kamu gagal gred sembilan empat kali

501
00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:36,166
dan tinggalkan kampung.

502
00:31:37,291 --> 00:31:39,541
Kamu sekarang menjadi selebriti.

503
00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:42,583
Tolong restui saya, cikgu.

504
00:31:47,041 --> 00:31:48,000
Cikgu nak kata…

505
00:31:48,583 --> 00:31:49,583
bau busuk itu…

506
00:31:50,375 --> 00:31:52,625
masih tak hilang sampai sekarang.

507
00:33:21,916 --> 00:33:26,916
Terjemahan sari kata oleh NH Azizan