1 00:00:47,009 --> 00:00:48,023 One frazzled Friday, 2 00:00:49,001 --> 00:00:50,019 four overbooked girlfriends 3 00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:52,018 came from four different directions. 4 00:00:52,020 --> 00:00:54,006 The East Side, 5 00:00:54,008 --> 00:00:56,009 the West Side, 6 00:00:56,011 --> 00:00:58,012 Park Avenue, 7 00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:01,000 and Samantha. 8 00:01:02,009 --> 00:01:04,010 It was the ultimate New York power lunch, 9 00:01:04,012 --> 00:01:06,017 also known as the power catch-up. 10 00:01:06,019 --> 00:01:07,022 I'll start. 11 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,000 I can sum up my life in one breath. 12 00:01:10,002 --> 00:01:12,018 Work, work, Au Bon Pain, work. 13 00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:13,017 And you? 14 00:01:13,019 --> 00:01:15,018 Uh, okay, let's see. I... 15 00:01:15,020 --> 00:01:17,002 Aidan, Aidan... 16 00:01:17,004 --> 00:01:18,017 This pimple, Aidan. 17 00:01:18,019 --> 00:01:20,002 Gee, maybe we don't need an hour. 18 00:01:20,004 --> 00:01:22,013 Charlotte, I cannot believe you made this sandwich. 19 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:25,005 I love you not working, you can be my wife. 20 00:01:25,007 --> 00:01:26,019 You know, I thought I'd have more free time, 21 00:01:26,021 --> 00:01:28,016 but redecorating is very stressful. 22 00:01:28,018 --> 00:01:31,008 Did you know there are over 40 different kinds of dimmers? 23 00:01:31,010 --> 00:01:35,008 Remember back when the economy was good and we had a table? 24 00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:38,013 -Um, Carrie? -Yeah? 25 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,000 Are you a janitor now? 26 00:01:40,002 --> 00:01:42,012 I know, it's ridiculous. 27 00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:45,020 I need these seven just to get in Aidan's building. 28 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,023 Aidan gave you his keys? 29 00:01:47,001 --> 00:01:48,013 Yeah, but I always make him come to my place. 30 00:01:48,015 --> 00:01:50,019 He buys that two-in-one shampoo. 31 00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:52,023 Wait a minute, does Aidan have your keys now too? 32 00:01:53,001 --> 00:01:54,005 Yes, he does. 33 00:01:54,007 --> 00:01:55,001 All two of them. 34 00:01:55,003 --> 00:01:57,003 You exchanged keys, that's big. 35 00:01:57,005 --> 00:01:59,015 Oh, no, no, that's the opposite of "Big." 36 00:01:59,017 --> 00:02:00,018 Good for you. 37 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:03,019 It took me six months to give my cleaning lady a key. 38 00:02:03,021 --> 00:02:07,016 Well, I happen to have the key to a lasting relationship... 39 00:02:07,018 --> 00:02:09,010 right here. 40 00:02:09,012 --> 00:02:13,004 1001 sexual positions, I got it on the corner from a guy, 41 00:02:13,006 --> 00:02:14,014 $1.50. 42 00:02:14,016 --> 00:02:15,013 I love this city. 43 00:02:15,015 --> 00:02:16,017 Whoa, Nellie. 44 00:02:16,019 --> 00:02:18,010 Whose legs bend back that far? 45 00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:19,016 It's like sex for the boneless. 46 00:02:19,018 --> 00:02:23,009 See, that's what I love about this guy Nick I'm seeing. 47 00:02:23,011 --> 00:02:24,016 He's deboned? 48 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:27,006 He's a wrestling coach at NYU 49 00:02:27,008 --> 00:02:29,016 and he's like an extra-strength rubber band. 50 00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:31,013 My congregants, 51 00:02:31,015 --> 00:02:32,017 please refer... 52 00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:35,019 to position 91 in your prayer book. 53 00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:37,002 And let us say... 54 00:02:37,004 --> 00:02:38,023 -"Amen." -Hmm! 55 00:02:42,010 --> 00:02:43,023 That night I came home 56 00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:47,001 to find Aidan in the most shocking position of all. 57 00:02:47,003 --> 00:02:48,017 Cooking to the oldies. 58 00:02:48,019 --> 00:02:53,006 You're deflowering my pristine kitchen. 59 00:02:53,008 --> 00:02:56,015 Ooh, fajitas! 60 00:02:56,017 --> 00:02:58,020 Oh, Carrie, meet my new George Foreman, 61 00:02:58,022 --> 00:03:01,015 lean, mean, fat-reducing grilling machine. 62 00:03:01,017 --> 00:03:03,020 George, Carrie. 63 00:03:03,022 --> 00:03:05,018 Charmed, I'm sure. 64 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,017 Hmm... Whatcha doing back there, lady bird? 65 00:03:11,019 --> 00:03:13,019 I'm just looking for something. 66 00:03:13,021 --> 00:03:15,014 Not in front of George. 67 00:03:16,022 --> 00:03:19,011 Leave George out of it. 68 00:03:19,013 --> 00:03:21,005 Okay, that's it. 69 00:03:21,007 --> 00:03:23,019 -You're going down! 70 00:03:25,002 --> 00:03:27,007 Oh... Hey... 71 00:03:27,009 --> 00:03:29,002 What about the fajitas? 72 00:03:29,004 --> 00:03:32,008 Fuck the fajitas. 73 00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:34,015 If giving a man the keys to your apartment 74 00:03:34,017 --> 00:03:38,011 means unlocking the door to home cooking and great sex... 75 00:03:38,013 --> 00:03:40,015 "Why were so many independent--" 76 00:03:40,017 --> 00:03:43,005 No, no, don't, don't, don't, it's not done yet. 77 00:03:43,007 --> 00:03:44,011 Don't read it. 78 00:03:44,013 --> 00:03:46,004 Aw. 79 00:03:50,014 --> 00:03:52,021 Oh, my God. 80 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,009 Oh, my God! 81 00:03:55,011 --> 00:03:56,015 Come-- 82 00:03:56,017 --> 00:03:58,022 C'mon, come back, wha-- 83 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,003 What? 84 00:04:00,005 --> 00:04:02,019 -What is this, why is this happening? -What's up? 85 00:04:02,021 --> 00:04:07,006 My computer just crashed right in the middle, I just-- I-- 86 00:04:07,008 --> 00:04:11,022 Okay, just relax, darling. Breathe and reboot. 87 00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:16,021 Hey! 88 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:18,016 It always works on my computer. 89 00:04:18,018 --> 00:04:20,004 Well? 90 00:04:20,006 --> 00:04:21,003 Let's, uh... 91 00:04:21,005 --> 00:04:22,008 Get your manual out. 92 00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:23,020 I don't have a manual! 93 00:04:23,022 --> 00:04:26,021 I got rid of it in a feng shui attack. 94 00:04:26,023 --> 00:04:28,009 Oh, my God, I want to kill myself. 95 00:04:28,011 --> 00:04:29,021 Just hang in there, sugar. 96 00:04:29,023 --> 00:04:32,009 This thing's just faking you out, that's all. 97 00:04:32,011 --> 00:04:35,022 Aidan, please. Please just stop, stop touching it. 98 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,002 -Hold on! -Stop, stop it! 99 00:04:37,004 --> 00:04:39,011 Because you don't know what you're doing, just stop! 100 00:04:42,009 --> 00:04:44,002 Two meltdowns later 101 00:04:44,004 --> 00:04:47,003 we rushed my '98 laptop in my '99 pashmina to Tekserve. 102 00:04:47,005 --> 00:04:49,005 Can you please not... 103 00:04:49,007 --> 00:04:50,023 do that? 104 00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:52,020 Whoo-hoo! 105 00:04:52,022 --> 00:04:54,011 64! 106 00:04:54,013 --> 00:04:57,004 Oh, God, c'mon! 107 00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,014 Number 64. Yes. 108 00:04:58,016 --> 00:05:01,012 Hi, thank God. Please... Here, please tell me... 109 00:05:01,014 --> 00:05:05,007 -I tried a few home remedies on this thing, but you know... -...that you can fix this. 110 00:05:05,009 --> 00:05:07,006 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 111 00:05:07,008 --> 00:05:09,004 One at a time. Which one of you crashed? 112 00:05:09,006 --> 00:05:11,011 Me, me, I did, it's mine. 113 00:05:11,013 --> 00:05:13,009 It's mine, but then he did something to it. 114 00:05:13,011 --> 00:05:15,000 Tell him, tell him what you did to it. 115 00:05:15,002 --> 00:05:16,023 I hit control-alt-delete. 116 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:20,016 That only works on PCs. You a PC user? 117 00:05:20,018 --> 00:05:22,019 Yeah, you're not compatible. 118 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,019 Okay, tell me exactly what happened 119 00:05:25,021 --> 00:05:27,003 right before you crashed. 120 00:05:27,005 --> 00:05:28,014 Um, okay... 121 00:05:28,016 --> 00:05:30,008 I was-- You know I was just typing 122 00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:32,006 and then he came over and he kissed me 123 00:05:32,008 --> 00:05:34,010 and then I... 124 00:05:34,012 --> 00:05:35,014 I got the bomb. 125 00:05:35,016 --> 00:05:37,010 Not "da bomb," you know? 126 00:05:37,012 --> 00:05:38,019 Not the good kind. 127 00:05:38,021 --> 00:05:41,001 Is this funny, do you think that this is funny? 128 00:05:41,003 --> 00:05:43,005 Just trying to, you know... 129 00:05:43,007 --> 00:05:45,018 You are mortifying me. 130 00:05:45,020 --> 00:05:48,013 When was the last time you backed up your work? 131 00:05:49,003 --> 00:05:50,007 Um... 132 00:05:50,009 --> 00:05:52,002 I don't do that. 133 00:05:52,004 --> 00:05:54,007 You don't back up? 134 00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:55,021 No. 135 00:05:55,023 --> 00:05:58,006 Anything else before we go in? 136 00:05:58,008 --> 00:05:59,009 Yes! 137 00:05:59,011 --> 00:06:01,021 There was a mean little man who popped up 138 00:06:01,023 --> 00:06:04,004 and he had "x's" where his eyes should be. 139 00:06:04,006 --> 00:06:05,017 And his tongue... 140 00:06:05,019 --> 00:06:08,001 was hanging out the side of his mouth. 141 00:06:08,003 --> 00:06:10,001 -He didn't have a tongue. -He had a tongue. 142 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,004 That's the sad mac. 143 00:06:11,006 --> 00:06:13,017 You sad macked, you should've told me that before. 144 00:06:13,019 --> 00:06:14,023 Oh, my God, why? 145 00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:16,010 Why, what does that mean? 146 00:06:16,012 --> 00:06:17,021 Could be your motherboard, 147 00:06:17,023 --> 00:06:18,022 that's the guts of your computer. 148 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,015 It could be bad ram. 149 00:06:20,017 --> 00:06:21,023 We'll keep it here for a couple of days, 150 00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:23,007 run some tests. 151 00:06:23,009 --> 00:06:25,015 I'm Dimitiri. 152 00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:27,003 I'll call you if we find anything. 153 00:06:27,005 --> 00:06:31,016 -If? -78, number 78! 154 00:06:31,018 --> 00:06:34,003 Oh, God, Miranda, I'm freaking out. 155 00:06:34,005 --> 00:06:36,008 What if everything I've ever written is gone? 156 00:06:36,010 --> 00:06:38,007 When was the last time you backed up? 157 00:06:38,009 --> 00:06:39,004 You know... 158 00:06:39,006 --> 00:06:41,015 no one talks about backing up. 159 00:06:41,017 --> 00:06:44,002 You've never used that expression with me before ever. 160 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,004 But apparently, 161 00:06:45,006 --> 00:06:47,010 everybody's secretly running home at night 162 00:06:47,012 --> 00:06:48,018 and backing up their work. 163 00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:52,001 Dr. Adleman, please call extension 2-1-3. 164 00:06:52,003 --> 00:06:53,002 Where are you? 165 00:06:53,004 --> 00:06:56,008 I'm at the hospital in Philadelphia. 166 00:06:56,010 --> 00:06:57,014 My mom had a heart attack. 167 00:06:57,016 --> 00:06:59,006 Oh, my God. 168 00:06:59,008 --> 00:07:01,016 And you let me go on and on about my stupid computer? 169 00:07:01,018 --> 00:07:04,008 Well, that's very upsetting, I've been through that. 170 00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:05,022 Sweetie, is she okay? 171 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,019 How could you go to Philadelphia without telling me? 172 00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:10,000 I had about six minutes to make the train 173 00:07:10,002 --> 00:07:12,000 and I didn't know how bad it was till I got here. 174 00:07:12,002 --> 00:07:13,007 Well, how bad is it? 175 00:07:13,009 --> 00:07:15,017 They keep telling us different things. 176 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:17,000 She's pretty out of it. 177 00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:19,019 Although, she did open her eyes just long enough 178 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,004 to veto my lipstick. 179 00:07:21,006 --> 00:07:24,005 Is there anything I can do to help? I'll jump on a train. 180 00:07:24,007 --> 00:07:25,023 I'll come down there and keep you company. 181 00:07:26,001 --> 00:07:28,016 No, no, it's fine, I'm fine. 182 00:07:28,018 --> 00:07:31,002 Miranda, the doctor is waiting. 183 00:07:31,004 --> 00:07:34,002 You can't use a cellphone in the hospital. 184 00:07:34,004 --> 00:07:36,008 She called me. 185 00:07:37,017 --> 00:07:38,017 Great. 186 00:07:38,019 --> 00:07:40,010 Now my sister's mad at me, I gotta go. 187 00:07:40,012 --> 00:07:41,023 You'll keep me posted, alright? 188 00:07:42,001 --> 00:07:44,002 Okay, bye. 189 00:07:44,004 --> 00:07:46,019 Meanwhile, Charlotte's afternoon was filled with 190 00:07:46,021 --> 00:07:49,006 ovulating and decorating. 191 00:07:50,013 --> 00:07:52,016 She was 12 days into her cycle 192 00:07:52,018 --> 00:07:56,008 and three rooms into her lighting project. 193 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:05,009 She had become a bona fide dimmer expert. 194 00:08:07,014 --> 00:08:11,000 Samantha called in a bona fide positions expert 195 00:08:11,002 --> 00:08:13,012 who came fully equipped. 196 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:31,023 Turns out a half-nelson was very much like position 411. 197 00:08:38,003 --> 00:08:40,002 One half-nelson... 198 00:08:40,004 --> 00:08:42,005 One full orgasm. 199 00:08:47,001 --> 00:08:48,012 Hello? 200 00:08:48,014 --> 00:08:50,022 Hey, it's me, I'm sorry to wake you. 201 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,017 Oh, that's okay. 202 00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:55,013 My mom died. 203 00:08:55,015 --> 00:08:56,022 Oh, my God. 204 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,001 Yeah. 205 00:08:59,003 --> 00:09:00,015 She was stable last night. 206 00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:02,006 And we all went home. 207 00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:05,018 And then they called and said she was crashing. 208 00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:09,006 And by the time we got back, she had died. 209 00:09:09,008 --> 00:09:12,005 Oh, Miranda, I'm so sorry. 210 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:18,000 I just wish we hadn't gone home, you know? 211 00:09:18,002 --> 00:09:20,002 Nobody wanted to, but they kept telling us 212 00:09:20,004 --> 00:09:21,013 we oughta get some sleep. 213 00:09:21,015 --> 00:09:24,003 I'm sure that she knew on some level that, 214 00:09:24,005 --> 00:09:25,014 that you were with her. 215 00:09:25,016 --> 00:09:27,009 But I wasn't with her! 216 00:09:27,011 --> 00:09:29,002 Nobody was! 217 00:09:30,008 --> 00:09:31,014 What can I do? 218 00:09:31,016 --> 00:09:34,020 Nothing, I'm, I'm fine. 219 00:09:34,022 --> 00:09:38,012 I'll be fine. 220 00:09:38,014 --> 00:09:42,004 The funeral's on Tuesday and I don't have anything to wear. 221 00:09:42,006 --> 00:09:44,016 Because I didn't think I would be going to a funeral 222 00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,017 while I was here. 223 00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:47,016 Well, I'll be there, so, I can... 224 00:09:47,018 --> 00:09:50,007 I'll just, I'll bring you something from your apartment. 225 00:09:50,009 --> 00:09:52,004 No, no, don't bother. 226 00:09:52,006 --> 00:09:56,004 I'm just gonna go out and buy a shitty black dress 227 00:09:56,006 --> 00:09:57,009 I'll never wear again. 228 00:09:57,011 --> 00:09:59,021 Are you sure? I'd be happy to do it. 229 00:09:59,023 --> 00:10:01,007 No, don't... 230 00:10:01,009 --> 00:10:03,013 Don't do anything. 231 00:10:05,002 --> 00:10:07,002 I better go. 232 00:10:07,004 --> 00:10:08,022 Miranda, I'm so sorry. 233 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,023 Yeah, thanks, I gotta go. 234 00:10:16,023 --> 00:10:19,000 Miranda's mother died. 235 00:10:19,002 --> 00:10:20,012 Oh... 236 00:10:26,017 --> 00:10:30,000 Oh...Come here, you okay? 237 00:10:30,002 --> 00:10:31,021 I'm fine. I just... 238 00:10:32,019 --> 00:10:34,007 Do you know when the funeral is? 239 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:36,002 I'd like to go if I can. 240 00:10:36,004 --> 00:10:37,019 Umm... 241 00:10:39,019 --> 00:10:42,000 I don't know. 242 00:10:44,009 --> 00:10:45,022 You don't have to. 243 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,005 I don't really know. 244 00:10:54,005 --> 00:10:55,013 Hi. 245 00:10:55,015 --> 00:10:57,004 Where have you been and where's Miranda? 246 00:10:57,006 --> 00:10:58,009 I'm starving. 247 00:11:00,010 --> 00:11:02,004 What's wrong? 248 00:11:04,018 --> 00:11:06,007 Miranda's in Philadelphia. 249 00:11:06,009 --> 00:11:08,017 Her mother had a heart attack yesterday 250 00:11:08,019 --> 00:11:10,018 and she died. 251 00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:12,014 Early this morning. 252 00:11:12,016 --> 00:11:15,002 She wasn't even sick. 253 00:11:17,008 --> 00:11:18,021 I can't believe it. 254 00:11:18,023 --> 00:11:21,002 Poor Miranda, how is she? 255 00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:25,011 I don't know. 256 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,001 She's not good. 257 00:11:30,009 --> 00:11:33,000 I just felt so awful for her and I just-- 258 00:11:34,006 --> 00:11:35,005 You know, I didn't-- 259 00:11:35,007 --> 00:11:37,013 I didn't know what to say to her and... 260 00:11:39,007 --> 00:11:41,018 And you know Miranda, she was trying to be so strong, 261 00:11:41,020 --> 00:11:43,010 but she just... 262 00:11:43,012 --> 00:11:45,001 She sounded so alone. 263 00:11:45,003 --> 00:11:47,008 And I just kept saying all the wrong things, I think. 264 00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:49,021 No, no, I'm sure you didn't. 265 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,003 Oh, here. 266 00:11:52,005 --> 00:11:53,003 Thanks, I'm sorry. 267 00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:54,023 Well... 268 00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:57,003 I guess the first thing we should do is send some flowers. 269 00:11:57,005 --> 00:12:00,004 -Right. -Or a fruit basket. 270 00:12:00,006 --> 00:12:02,016 Or muffins, what do you think? 271 00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:06,019 Hey, you alright? 272 00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:08,003 What? 273 00:12:08,005 --> 00:12:09,018 I'm fine. 274 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:13,003 Flowers are fine, just tell me who to send the check to. 275 00:12:15,016 --> 00:12:18,012 I'm just hungry. 276 00:12:18,014 --> 00:12:20,000 After breakfast, 277 00:12:20,002 --> 00:12:21,018 Charlotte showed her support for Miranda 278 00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:24,001 by becoming the Martha Stewart of death. 279 00:12:24,003 --> 00:12:27,014 No, I want the clear cellophane and the navy ribbon. 280 00:12:27,016 --> 00:12:29,014 Samantha, have you called Miranda yet? 281 00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:31,001 'Cause I just spoke to her 282 00:12:31,003 --> 00:12:33,000 and she thinks that it'd be faster for us 283 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,008 to take the train to Philadelphia and I agree. 284 00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:36,020 We're going to the funeral? 285 00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:39,014 I thought we were just sending flowers. 286 00:12:39,016 --> 00:12:41,007 Of course we're going to the funeral 287 00:12:41,009 --> 00:12:43,003 and you should call her. 288 00:12:43,005 --> 00:12:45,006 I think she would really like to hear from you. 289 00:12:45,008 --> 00:12:47,003 Well, what am I gonna say to her? 290 00:12:47,005 --> 00:12:50,014 You could say, "I'm so sorry for your loss. 291 00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:52,018 I love you, I'm here for you." 292 00:12:52,020 --> 00:12:53,020 That's enough ribbon. 293 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,015 "You're in my thoughts. 294 00:12:55,017 --> 00:12:58,008 May she rest in peace, I'm so sorry you lost--" 295 00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:01,004 Fine, fine, I'll call her, goodbye. 296 00:13:02,007 --> 00:13:03,004 In times of sorrow, 297 00:13:03,006 --> 00:13:06,011 some people have trouble reaching out. 298 00:13:07,016 --> 00:13:10,016 Samantha wasn't one of those people. 299 00:13:13,022 --> 00:13:16,005 Wanna wrestle? 300 00:13:17,015 --> 00:13:20,015 Mmm... Keep doing that. 301 00:13:20,017 --> 00:13:23,005 Keep doing that! 302 00:13:23,007 --> 00:13:24,021 But today... 303 00:13:24,023 --> 00:13:28,012 something was just out of reach. 304 00:13:30,002 --> 00:13:32,001 So, they tried another position. 305 00:13:32,003 --> 00:13:33,001 299. 306 00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:36,011 I'm almost there. 307 00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:39,023 Just hang on one more second, 308 00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:41,004 just one more second. 309 00:13:41,006 --> 00:13:42,012 One more second. 310 00:13:42,014 --> 00:13:44,004 Hang on, hang in there. 311 00:13:44,006 --> 00:13:46,008 Keep hanging on, stay with me. 312 00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:48,008 Stay just like that, just like that. 313 00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:50,007 Just like that. 314 00:13:51,019 --> 00:13:54,005 Get 'em off me, get 'em off me! 315 00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:57,022 You're distracting me. 316 00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,017 And when none of those worked, 317 00:13:59,019 --> 00:14:02,001 they went back to old faithful... 318 00:14:02,003 --> 00:14:03,014 Number 17. 319 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:06,000 Okay, now, that's it. 320 00:14:06,002 --> 00:14:07,014 Now we got it. 321 00:14:07,016 --> 00:14:09,005 Here we go. 322 00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:10,008 Home free. 323 00:14:10,010 --> 00:14:12,013 Just keep doing exactly what you're doing. 324 00:14:12,015 --> 00:14:16,002 Exactly what you're doing. 325 00:14:16,004 --> 00:14:18,021 E-e-exactly What you're doing. 326 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:25,014 Don't stop. 327 00:14:23,008 --> 00:14:25,014 Don't stop. 328 00:14:25,016 --> 00:14:26,014 Don't stop! 329 00:14:26,016 --> 00:14:29,020 I gotta pick up my stuff at the cleaners by five. 330 00:14:29,022 --> 00:14:31,017 Okay, stop. 331 00:14:31,019 --> 00:14:35,004 I want you to make it very clear to the Philadelphia florist... 332 00:14:35,006 --> 00:14:37,014 Tasteful, all white. 333 00:14:37,016 --> 00:14:40,016 The Casablanca lilies, the calla lilies, 334 00:14:40,018 --> 00:14:42,000 and the phalaenopsis. 335 00:14:42,002 --> 00:14:43,016 I don't want any crap. 336 00:14:43,018 --> 00:14:45,000 You told her. 337 00:14:45,002 --> 00:14:46,010 Well, these flowers are gonna be 338 00:14:46,012 --> 00:14:47,021 the centerpiece on the church altar. 339 00:14:47,023 --> 00:14:50,019 I think it's important that they represent us, don't you agree? 340 00:14:50,021 --> 00:14:51,022 Samantha? 341 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,014 Oh, I don't know, I'm not even listening. 342 00:14:54,016 --> 00:14:57,011 I lost my orgasm. 343 00:14:57,013 --> 00:14:58,023 In the cab? 344 00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:00,023 What do you mean, "lost"? 345 00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:03,003 I mean, I just spent the last two hours 346 00:15:03,005 --> 00:15:04,014 fucking with no finale. 347 00:15:04,016 --> 00:15:05,022 It happens. 348 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,003 Sometimes you just can't get there. 349 00:15:07,005 --> 00:15:08,018 I can always get there. 350 00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:11,002 Every time you have sex? 351 00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:14,004 She's exaggerating. 352 00:15:15,008 --> 00:15:17,002 Please say you're exaggerating. 353 00:15:17,004 --> 00:15:20,001 Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off 354 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,019 once or twice, but yes. 355 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,008 When I r.s.v.p. To a party, 356 00:15:23,010 --> 00:15:24,021 I make it my business to come. 357 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:27,017 See, I've been a no-show on more than one occasion. 358 00:15:27,019 --> 00:15:31,004 Sex can still be great without an orgasm. 359 00:15:31,006 --> 00:15:32,016 That is such a crock of shit. 360 00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,020 She has a point. 361 00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,011 What's wrong with me? 362 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:37,023 Listen! 363 00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:42,007 You've got plenty of orgasms under your belt. 364 00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,023 You're gonna be fine. 365 00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:46,011 Now, let's retrace your steps. 366 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:48,001 Were you on top? 367 00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:50,001 Well, how is that relevant? 368 00:15:50,003 --> 00:15:51,020 You mean, you can have them on the bottom? 369 00:15:51,022 --> 00:15:53,017 Top, bottom, upside-down. 370 00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:55,007 Alright, now you're just showing off. 371 00:15:55,009 --> 00:15:56,023 I'm asking for help! 372 00:15:57,001 --> 00:15:58,014 Sweetie... 373 00:15:58,016 --> 00:16:02,010 I'm sure it will pop up when you least expect it. 374 00:16:02,012 --> 00:16:04,008 Like... 375 00:16:05,003 --> 00:16:06,005 Jury duty. 376 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,017 Unless... 377 00:16:07,019 --> 00:16:09,005 What? 378 00:16:09,007 --> 00:16:11,002 I read this article about a woman 379 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:13,016 who's having orgasms 'round the clock. 380 00:16:13,018 --> 00:16:16,010 -Uh-huh... -And then boom! 381 00:16:16,012 --> 00:16:18,005 Orgasms stopped... 382 00:16:18,007 --> 00:16:19,017 For good. 383 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:23,007 It was like she had used them all up or something. 384 00:16:24,018 --> 00:16:27,004 That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me. 385 00:16:29,016 --> 00:16:31,017 Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, 386 00:16:31,019 --> 00:16:33,006 Miranda realized... 387 00:16:33,008 --> 00:16:36,023 she needed the shitty black bra to go with her shitty black dress. 388 00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:38,013 Can I help you find something? 389 00:16:38,015 --> 00:16:41,019 No, I'm looking for this in 36A in black. 390 00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:44,014 You don't look like a 36A to me. 391 00:16:44,016 --> 00:16:46,015 Well, I am. 392 00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:49,018 Uh, excuse me? 393 00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:51,010 Lucille? 394 00:16:51,012 --> 00:16:53,006 I've been a 36A my whole life, 395 00:16:53,008 --> 00:16:54,022 I think I know what size I am. 396 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,022 Didn't think so. 397 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,015 Try these. 398 00:17:00,017 --> 00:17:02,021 There is no way that I'm a 34B. 399 00:17:02,023 --> 00:17:05,009 Just try them. 400 00:17:06,018 --> 00:17:08,013 How's it going in there? 401 00:17:08,015 --> 00:17:10,010 Fine. Everything's fine. 402 00:17:10,012 --> 00:17:13,007 From the age of 14, Miranda had a strict 403 00:17:13,009 --> 00:17:15,007 "no visitors policy" in the dressing room. 404 00:17:15,009 --> 00:17:17,001 Let's see how that's working out. 405 00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:19,014 Although her mother never observed it, 406 00:17:19,016 --> 00:17:20,023 and neither did Lucille. 407 00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:23,006 Um, I just said that I didn't need any help. 408 00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:25,000 Oh, you say you don't want help, 409 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,010 but you were picking out the wrong size. 410 00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:28,019 See now, this one fits you. 411 00:17:28,021 --> 00:17:31,023 I think that I can adjust my bra straps by myself. 412 00:17:32,001 --> 00:17:35,001 Would you please get your hands off of my breasts! 413 00:17:35,003 --> 00:17:36,011 I'm not being fresh. 414 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:38,009 I think I know what's best. 415 00:17:38,011 --> 00:17:39,019 No, you don't! 416 00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:43,001 I think that I know what's best for me! 417 00:17:43,003 --> 00:17:44,021 Suddenly Miranda realized... 418 00:17:44,023 --> 00:17:48,018 she would never have a fight with her mother again. 419 00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:51,008 I'm sorry, it's not you. 420 00:17:51,010 --> 00:17:53,010 My mother just died... 421 00:17:53,012 --> 00:17:55,018 And... 422 00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:58,018 -Come here. -No, I'm, I'm fine, I-- 423 00:17:58,020 --> 00:18:01,003 I'm-- I'm-- 424 00:18:01,005 --> 00:18:03,021 And there, behind the curtain when no one was looking, 425 00:18:03,023 --> 00:18:09,001 Miranda found a kind of support that actually fit her. 426 00:18:19,002 --> 00:18:21,001 Well, this is perfect. 427 00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:25,002 You were right. 428 00:18:27,008 --> 00:18:29,001 Thanks. 429 00:18:31,008 --> 00:18:34,006 Wait! 430 00:18:34,008 --> 00:18:37,006 Oh, damn, you're always sneaking up on me. 431 00:18:37,008 --> 00:18:38,018 Surprise! 432 00:18:38,020 --> 00:18:40,022 It's your new computer. 433 00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:44,007 Whoa! 434 00:18:44,009 --> 00:18:45,011 It's blue. 435 00:18:45,013 --> 00:18:48,022 Yeah. It's a lot more fun than your old one. 436 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,005 It's got this handle so, it's like a little purse. 437 00:18:51,007 --> 00:18:54,005 That's a very expensive purse. 438 00:18:55,019 --> 00:18:57,013 When-- when did you get that? 439 00:18:57,015 --> 00:18:59,002 Today. 440 00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:00,021 And I got you one of these zip drives 441 00:19:00,023 --> 00:19:03,014 so, you can start backing up your work now. 442 00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,018 Well, I don't even know how to use that 443 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:08,020 and I don't need it, I have my own system. 444 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,020 Works just fine. 445 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:11,007 Oh, yeah, right. 446 00:19:11,009 --> 00:19:12,021 You sure about that? 447 00:19:12,023 --> 00:19:14,002 Yeah, I am. 448 00:19:14,004 --> 00:19:16,012 I'm not ready for a new computer. 449 00:19:16,014 --> 00:19:18,022 I'm still waiting to hear back about my old one. 450 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,003 My whole life was on that computer. 451 00:19:23,002 --> 00:19:25,018 I get it. 452 00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:27,008 It's all you. 453 00:19:27,010 --> 00:19:30,009 I'm not a part of any of this. You don't want the laptop. 454 00:19:30,011 --> 00:19:32,013 You don't want me to go to the funeral. I feel like a fucking-- 455 00:19:32,015 --> 00:19:35,010 I gave you my keys, what more do you want? 456 00:19:35,012 --> 00:19:36,019 Your keys? 457 00:19:36,021 --> 00:19:41,014 Oh, great, so, now I can get into your front door. 458 00:19:41,016 --> 00:19:43,006 How do I get into there? 459 00:19:43,008 --> 00:19:44,017 Huh? 460 00:19:47,014 --> 00:19:49,021 I'm sorry, but I've been taking care of myself 461 00:19:49,023 --> 00:19:51,008 for a really long time. 462 00:19:51,010 --> 00:19:56,001 You may not like it, but this is how I deal with things. 463 00:19:56,003 --> 00:19:57,015 This is your receipt so... 464 00:19:57,017 --> 00:20:01,010 you can do whatever you want with that computer, alright? 465 00:20:01,012 --> 00:20:03,008 And... 466 00:20:09,016 --> 00:20:14,005 Meanwhile, Samantha was troubleshooting her own laptop. 467 00:20:20,009 --> 00:20:24,000 She was determined to just relax, 468 00:20:24,002 --> 00:20:25,011 unwind... 469 00:20:31,014 --> 00:20:34,019 and let the rest of the world fall away. 470 00:20:39,002 --> 00:20:40,000 What? 471 00:20:40,002 --> 00:20:41,017 Oh, good, you're there. 472 00:20:41,019 --> 00:20:43,010 I'm picking up bagels for the train ride. 473 00:20:43,012 --> 00:20:44,007 You're sesame, right? 474 00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:46,002 Oh, and have you called Miranda yet? 475 00:20:46,004 --> 00:20:47,018 No, I'm whole wheat 476 00:20:47,020 --> 00:20:51,010 and I haven't called her because I don't want to bother her. 477 00:20:51,012 --> 00:20:54,016 Charlotte, I'm masturbating. 478 00:20:54,018 --> 00:20:59,001 I told you I'd be doing that all day today. 479 00:21:07,002 --> 00:21:08,022 By nightfall, 480 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,013 Samantha called off the search party. 481 00:21:19,002 --> 00:21:23,005 Somewhere in the city of lost dreams and missing persons 482 00:21:23,007 --> 00:21:26,021 Samantha's orgasm remained at large. 483 00:21:28,010 --> 00:21:29,019 The next morning 484 00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:32,018 my own search party called with news of a breakthrough. 485 00:21:32,020 --> 00:21:34,015 Hi... Hi. 486 00:21:35,011 --> 00:21:37,009 Hi, do you remember me? 487 00:21:37,011 --> 00:21:41,000 I'm number P-4-3-8-W, you have my computer. 488 00:21:41,021 --> 00:21:43,013 Yep. 489 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,004 Okay. 490 00:21:51,003 --> 00:21:54,003 And here's what we could recover from your hard drive. 491 00:21:54,005 --> 00:21:56,000 Any of that look familiar to you? 492 00:21:56,002 --> 00:21:58,007 There it was, my past. 493 00:21:58,009 --> 00:21:59,022 It was a mess. 494 00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:02,004 Can you... 495 00:22:02,006 --> 00:22:05,003 Please tell me why this happened in the first place? 496 00:22:05,005 --> 00:22:06,006 Well, we don't know. 497 00:22:06,008 --> 00:22:09,007 Sometimes these things, they just crash. 498 00:22:09,009 --> 00:22:11,008 Now, we can replace your motherboard, 499 00:22:11,010 --> 00:22:14,014 but you have to get yourself a back-up system. 500 00:22:14,016 --> 00:22:16,021 Pick out a zip drive, start saving. 501 00:22:16,023 --> 00:22:19,001 Next time you won't lose everything. 502 00:22:20,012 --> 00:22:22,003 Ouch. 503 00:22:22,005 --> 00:22:24,022 You saved your warrantee, right? 504 00:22:41,002 --> 00:22:43,009 Hello, furniture company. 505 00:22:43,011 --> 00:22:46,019 It's me, the girl who doesn't back up. 506 00:22:46,021 --> 00:22:48,002 Um... 507 00:22:48,004 --> 00:22:51,023 This is my attempt to breathe and reboot. 508 00:22:52,001 --> 00:22:53,021 Are you smiling at all over there? 509 00:22:53,023 --> 00:22:55,002 I'm listening. 510 00:22:55,004 --> 00:22:56,011 Okay, well. 511 00:22:56,013 --> 00:23:00,022 I'm just on my way to Philly, and... 512 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,000 I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. 513 00:23:05,007 --> 00:23:06,020 This is hard. 514 00:23:06,022 --> 00:23:09,023 We're gonna run into stuff that's hard. 515 00:23:10,001 --> 00:23:11,021 That's why I was trying to help. 516 00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:13,016 Well. I know, I know that, but-- 517 00:23:15,003 --> 00:23:17,005 If you start helping me 518 00:23:17,007 --> 00:23:20,003 and then I get used to having that help... 519 00:23:20,005 --> 00:23:21,013 Yeah? 520 00:23:21,015 --> 00:23:22,013 Well... 521 00:23:22,015 --> 00:23:24,011 No good can come of that. 522 00:23:24,013 --> 00:23:27,011 I mean, then what happens when, you know, 523 00:23:27,013 --> 00:23:29,020 you're not around one day? 524 00:23:29,022 --> 00:23:31,018 -Where am I going? -Well, I don't know. 525 00:23:31,020 --> 00:23:36,001 You could be out of town or be busy or... 526 00:23:36,003 --> 00:23:38,010 Things fall apart. 527 00:23:38,012 --> 00:23:40,016 We could fall apart. 528 00:23:40,018 --> 00:23:42,017 I know that. 529 00:23:42,019 --> 00:23:43,017 Well, then what? 530 00:23:43,019 --> 00:23:47,000 Then I guess we'd be a couple of sad macs. 531 00:23:54,014 --> 00:23:55,011 Philadelphia... 532 00:23:55,013 --> 00:23:57,018 just a hop, a skip, a cab, a Metroliner 533 00:23:57,020 --> 00:24:00,000 and another cab away. 534 00:24:09,005 --> 00:24:12,003 I'm not gonna find my orgasm in this town. 535 00:24:12,005 --> 00:24:13,010 We are at a funeral. 536 00:24:31,008 --> 00:24:32,021 Be right back. 537 00:24:40,016 --> 00:24:48,001 I'm so sorry. 538 00:24:52,015 --> 00:24:54,011 You look great. 539 00:24:55,022 --> 00:24:57,023 Well, she does. 540 00:24:58,019 --> 00:24:59,022 How are you? 541 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,016 I'm fine. 542 00:25:01,018 --> 00:25:04,000 But everybody else is very concerned about me 543 00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:05,005 because I'm here alone. 544 00:25:05,007 --> 00:25:08,011 I didn't realize I needed a date for my mother's funeral. 545 00:25:08,013 --> 00:25:10,006 Oh, Miranda. 546 00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:11,018 My sister and her husband 547 00:25:11,020 --> 00:25:14,008 want me to third wheel with them down the aisle, 548 00:25:14,010 --> 00:25:16,019 God forbid that I should walk it alone, 549 00:25:16,021 --> 00:25:18,021 because that would be the real tragedy, right? 550 00:25:18,023 --> 00:25:19,022 Ignore the coffin. 551 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,005 There's a single 35-year-old woman walking behind it. 552 00:25:23,007 --> 00:25:26,012 Miranda? -Coming, Betsy. 553 00:25:29,009 --> 00:25:30,020 Wow. 554 00:25:30,022 --> 00:25:33,000 Well, this is hard. 555 00:25:34,017 --> 00:25:36,006 "You look great"? 556 00:25:36,008 --> 00:25:38,021 That was not one of the things I told you to say. 557 00:25:41,016 --> 00:25:43,007 Excuse me, Betsy? 558 00:25:43,009 --> 00:25:45,010 Hi, I'm Charlotte, we spoke on the phone. 559 00:25:45,012 --> 00:25:46,009 Oh. 560 00:25:46,011 --> 00:25:48,015 I just wanted to say again how sorry I am. 561 00:25:48,017 --> 00:25:51,023 And to make sure that everything worked out with the flowers. 562 00:25:52,001 --> 00:25:53,011 Yes, thank you. 563 00:25:53,013 --> 00:25:56,013 In fact, there they are now. 564 00:26:04,013 --> 00:26:08,009 I said tasteful! 565 00:26:08,011 --> 00:26:11,017 I think now we know what $500 worth of glitter looks like. 566 00:26:12,019 --> 00:26:16,006 Death is the eternal mystery. 567 00:26:16,008 --> 00:26:19,016 It defies our comprehension. 568 00:26:19,018 --> 00:26:23,007 There are no explanations. No answers. 569 00:26:23,009 --> 00:26:26,019 No magic words to soothe us. 570 00:26:26,021 --> 00:26:28,020 You're a spiritual leader, can't you make something up? 571 00:26:28,022 --> 00:26:31,009 Those flowers were supposed to say... 572 00:26:31,011 --> 00:26:33,021 "We're so sorry, we love you." 573 00:26:33,023 --> 00:26:35,020 Not "You're dead, let's disco." 574 00:26:35,022 --> 00:26:37,020 ...so many wonderful stories about her 575 00:26:37,022 --> 00:26:41,011 from her daughter Betsy and her husband, David, 576 00:26:41,013 --> 00:26:44,018 her son John and his wife, Miranda, 577 00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:46,017 her daughter Catherine... 578 00:26:46,019 --> 00:26:48,019 Did he just say... 579 00:26:48,021 --> 00:26:51,003 No spiritual stuff and he can't keep 580 00:26:51,005 --> 00:26:53,006 the family tree straight? 581 00:26:53,008 --> 00:26:55,015 This guy's a hack. 582 00:26:55,017 --> 00:27:00,019 Sara, Alexandra, Nathan, and little Emily. 583 00:27:01,021 --> 00:27:03,012 After the burial... 584 00:27:03,014 --> 00:27:08,013 John and his wife, Miranda, invite you back to their home. 585 00:27:08,015 --> 00:27:14,006 Directions can be found as you exit the sanctuary. 586 00:27:16,019 --> 00:27:19,004 I'm sorry. 587 00:27:25,013 --> 00:27:29,002 Finally, Samantha found the release she really needed. 588 00:27:29,004 --> 00:27:30,020 She cried for everything she couldn't say 589 00:27:30,022 --> 00:27:34,005 and for things she didn't even know she felt. 590 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,006 It's okay. 591 00:28:02,008 --> 00:28:04,005 There's the kind of support you ask for 592 00:28:04,007 --> 00:28:07,007 and the kind of support you don't ask for. 593 00:28:09,004 --> 00:28:12,015 And then there's the kind that just shows up. 594 00:28:16,002 --> 00:28:17,005 Hey. 595 00:28:32,020 --> 00:28:34,000 After all, 596 00:28:34,002 --> 00:28:36,005 computers crash, people die, 597 00:28:36,007 --> 00:28:38,002 relationships fall apart. 598 00:28:38,004 --> 00:28:42,008 The best we can do is breathe and reboot. 599 00:28:45,010 --> 00:28:46,023 And when that fails, 600 00:28:47,001 --> 00:28:49,008 a little gizmo called a zip drive 601 00:28:49,010 --> 00:28:52,006 can provide a surprising amount of comfort. 602 00:29:00,007 --> 00:29:02,006 So can a boyfriend... 603 00:29:03,008 --> 00:29:05,019 if you can learn to let him.