1 00:00:58,417 --> 00:01:00,041 When a marriage breaks up, 2 00:01:00,125 --> 00:01:01,917 there are numerous ways to cope. 3 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,166 You can cry. 4 00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,375 You can move. 5 00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:06,583 It's left-right, not right-left. 6 00:01:08,208 --> 00:01:11,417 Or, as Charlotte did, dive into a new routine. 7 00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:13,166 A tap routine. 8 00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:14,500 I feel good. 9 00:01:14,583 --> 00:01:17,375 I even signed up for sculpture and tap-dancing class. 10 00:01:17,458 --> 00:01:19,250 Because Lord knows, you can't do one without the other. 11 00:01:19,333 --> 00:01:22,083 And everyone keeps telling me to take time to grieve. 12 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,417 I don't need time. 13 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,750 This divorce is going to be clean and swift, 14 00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:27,792 like pulling off a Band-Aid. Shhht! 15 00:01:27,875 --> 00:01:29,250 Carrie? 16 00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:32,083 Oh, my God, I thought that was you. 17 00:01:32,166 --> 00:01:35,500 There it was, the unmistakable voice of Susan Sharon. 18 00:01:35,583 --> 00:01:37,000 So what's new? What's going on with you? 19 00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:38,417 Oh, you know, same old, same old. 20 00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:41,250 Just writing, gallivanting, eating. 21 00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:42,291 You know, the usual. 22 00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:43,750 -Carrie! -What? 23 00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:46,000 You're forgetting the most important thing. 24 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,750 Oh! Yeah, jeez. 25 00:01:49,834 --> 00:01:52,250 -I, I, I'm, I am engaged. -They're engaged! 26 00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:53,542 You're getting married! 27 00:01:53,625 --> 00:01:55,166 -Yeah. -Oh, my God! 28 00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:57,834 Oh, Aidan. Oh, mazel tov! 29 00:01:57,917 --> 00:01:59,250 Oh, okay. 30 00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:00,792 Let me see, let me see, where's the--? 31 00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:04,792 Oh, it's, it's here, here, it's right here. See? 32 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:05,750 Oh! 33 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,166 Why are you wearing it around your neck? 34 00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:09,000 Is that what the people are doing these days? 35 00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:10,000 I'm so out of it. 36 00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:12,333 No, no, it's just me. 37 00:02:12,417 --> 00:02:14,709 It's closer to my heart this way. 38 00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:18,125 Ah! Ah! 39 00:02:18,208 --> 00:02:20,083 So, a spring wedding? 40 00:02:20,166 --> 00:02:22,125 Fall wedding? Where are you doing it? 41 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:26,125 Oh, God, we haven't even begun to think about that stuff. 42 00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:27,875 Oh, well, you'd better chop-chop, missy. 43 00:02:27,959 --> 00:02:30,000 Because these places book up, I'm telling you, 44 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,959 years and years! 45 00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:34,125 Okay, anyway, the wedding... 46 00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:37,792 The next morning, a hotel mogul and his publicist 47 00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:40,417 began another grueling day at work. 48 00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:43,125 Can I help you? 49 00:02:43,208 --> 00:02:44,625 You're gorgeous. 50 00:02:44,709 --> 00:02:46,458 Tell me something I don't know. 51 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:49,041 As intimate as their personal affair had become, 52 00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:51,083 when it came to their business affairs, 53 00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:54,041 Samantha remained cool and professional. 54 00:02:58,959 --> 00:03:00,041 In theory. 55 00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:02,500 -J.J. Mitchell. 56 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,834 J.J., Samantha Jones. 57 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,625 I have your column in my hand 58 00:03:05,709 --> 00:03:07,166 and I'm very disappointed. 59 00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:09,834 Jonesy. I thought you'd be sucking my dick 60 00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:12,333 for finally getting Richard Wright's name in the paper. 61 00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:13,834 We'll talk about your dick in a second. 62 00:03:13,917 --> 00:03:16,041 Richard Wright "canoodling" with Bebe London? 63 00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:17,000 That's bullshit. 64 00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:17,834 I happen to know 65 00:03:17,917 --> 00:03:19,166 he's canoodling with one woman, 66 00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:20,375 and it's not Bebe London. 67 00:03:20,458 --> 00:03:22,500 Uh, okay, guess which hot-headed publicist 68 00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:24,458 can't seem to keep track of her own client? 69 00:03:24,542 --> 00:03:26,041 Guess which two-bit gossip columnist 70 00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:27,875 -is talking out of his ass? 71 00:03:27,959 --> 00:03:30,917 Hey, believe me, I'd rather be talking out of your ass, Jonesy. 72 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,709 So just say the word-- 73 00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:35,875 Jonesy? 74 00:03:35,959 --> 00:03:39,083 J.J. Mitchell's column said you were "canoodling" with Bebe London. 75 00:03:39,166 --> 00:03:41,333 He's an idiot. Just giving you a heads-up. 76 00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:44,375 Well, hey, all press is good press, right? 77 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,583 So you were canoodling with Bebe London? 78 00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:48,583 Is that a problem? 79 00:03:49,625 --> 00:03:52,959 No. I just need to get all the facts, 80 00:03:53,041 --> 00:03:54,709 so I can do my job. 81 00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:56,291 Why don't you take a break from your job 82 00:03:56,375 --> 00:03:58,291 and get that sexy ass in here? 83 00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:11,417 In an effort to drown out thoughts 84 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:14,250 of Richard canoodling with Bebe London, 85 00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:17,792 Samantha focused on her own canoodle. 86 00:04:17,875 --> 00:04:21,000 And in a more modest shower uptown... 87 00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:25,917 -Excuse me, have we met? -Can I get in there? 88 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,000 I've got the sheetrock guy coming in ten minutes. 89 00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:29,375 It's really coming along over there. 90 00:04:29,458 --> 00:04:30,291 Yeah? 91 00:04:30,375 --> 00:04:32,041 Walls are comin' down. 92 00:04:32,125 --> 00:04:33,375 Washer and dryer's on the way. 93 00:04:33,458 --> 00:04:35,000 Oh! 94 00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:36,750 I forgot about the washer and dryer. 95 00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:39,208 I have been dreaming of that my whole New York life. 96 00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:41,083 Here's something else for you to chew on. 97 00:04:41,166 --> 00:04:42,792 What's that? 98 00:04:42,875 --> 00:04:43,875 How about Hawaii? 99 00:04:43,959 --> 00:04:45,583 As what, the 50th state? 100 00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:47,041 As in, we get hitched. 101 00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:49,917 We'll grab a couple friends, down some mai tais, 102 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,250 tie the knot. 103 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,667 You know, we can get "maui'd." 104 00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,750 Hey, buddy, did you just pun in the nude? 105 00:04:55,834 --> 00:04:56,792 Yeah. 106 00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:59,458 What did I tell you about that? 107 00:04:59,542 --> 00:05:00,625 Give me the soap. 108 00:05:00,709 --> 00:05:01,917 What do you think? 109 00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:05,375 -What, about Hawaii? -Yeah. 110 00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:10,625 C'mon, do I look like the "hang ten, surf's up" kind of bride to you? 111 00:05:10,709 --> 00:05:13,792 'Cause I really think my grass skirt days are over. 112 00:05:13,875 --> 00:05:15,792 Okay, how about Aspen? 113 00:05:15,875 --> 00:05:18,250 Christmastime in Aspen. 114 00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:20,875 You, me, a polar bear, a judge. 115 00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:22,333 How's that sound? 116 00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:26,000 For a shower with so little water pressure, 117 00:05:26,083 --> 00:05:29,709 I suddenly felt a ton of it beating down on my shoulders. 118 00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,542 And here's the spine, right here. 119 00:05:35,625 --> 00:05:36,750 Isn't that incredible? 120 00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,417 Oh, here's the heart beating... 121 00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:42,500 See? 122 00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:43,458 Kind of. 123 00:05:43,542 --> 00:05:45,458 I think so. 124 00:05:45,542 --> 00:05:48,291 Okay, do you want to know the sex? 125 00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:50,291 I can tell you right now, if you do. 126 00:05:50,375 --> 00:05:53,208 Um... okay. 127 00:05:53,291 --> 00:05:54,375 Sure? 128 00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:58,875 Ah! It's a boy. 129 00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:03,208 It's a boy! How do you feel? 130 00:06:07,291 --> 00:06:08,250 Wow! 131 00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:10,500 Great, a boy! 132 00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:12,750 Boy, oh, boy. 133 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,917 I just faked a sonogram. 134 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,542 -I'm sorry? -I was lying there. 135 00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:22,291 The technician's giving me a guided tour of my uterus. 136 00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:24,792 Then she tells me I'm having a boy. 137 00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:28,041 -And I just-- -Oh, my God, Miranda! 138 00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,458 You're having a boy? 139 00:06:29,542 --> 00:06:30,542 You see, that. 140 00:06:30,625 --> 00:06:32,166 That's what this woman wanted out of me. 141 00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:35,041 But I couldn't get it up for her, so I faked it. 142 00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:37,625 What exactly does a faked sonogram look like, 143 00:06:37,709 --> 00:06:39,417 in case I ever need to do it? 144 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,041 Oh! 145 00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:45,458 Everyone else is glowing about my pregnancy. When will I? 146 00:06:45,542 --> 00:06:48,041 Yeah, I get the same thing every time someone hears I'm engaged. 147 00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:49,458 They're like-- 148 00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:52,041 You know, I'm supposed to get all excited about picking a date 149 00:06:52,125 --> 00:06:53,417 and a place, and a theme. 150 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,542 And I just want to lie down and take a big nap. 151 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,083 I feel like a deadbeat bride. 152 00:06:58,166 --> 00:07:00,083 So don't do all that stupid stuff. 153 00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:01,000 Fuck 'em. 154 00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:02,417 Well, I better do something soon 155 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,250 because I am getting the distinct feeling 156 00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:07,875 my grace period is O-V-E-R. 157 00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:10,250 I don't even want to look for a dress. 158 00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:11,959 Me! No dress. 159 00:07:12,041 --> 00:07:13,250 What's wrong here? 160 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,166 Maybe it's like the dentist. 161 00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,208 You put it off, and put it off, 162 00:07:17,291 --> 00:07:20,291 and then, you finally go, and afterwards, you feel great. 163 00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:22,750 Oh, my God, I have to go to the dentist. 164 00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:26,250 Okay, wait, I'm having a radical idea here. 165 00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:29,750 There's a horrible bridal shop a couple of blocks away, 166 00:07:29,834 --> 00:07:30,792 we could go-- 167 00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:32,417 -You-- -How do you even know this? 168 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,333 Because every time I pass by it, I go "blech." 169 00:07:35,417 --> 00:07:38,166 We could run in, you could try on the worst dress they have, 170 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,667 just face the dragon, get it over with. 171 00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:42,417 And then I'll treat you to a Tasti D-Lite. 172 00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,542 It's like, uh, aversion shock therapy. 173 00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:46,875 You want me to try on a bad wedding dress? 174 00:07:46,959 --> 00:07:49,917 You're gonna have to do a lot better than Tasti D-lite. 175 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,792 I'll try one on too? 176 00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:53,917 Woo! 177 00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:57,458 Hi! 178 00:07:57,542 --> 00:07:58,542 -Hello. -Ladies. 179 00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:01,417 My friend Miranda here is getting married, 180 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,792 so we're looking for something special. 181 00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:06,291 And we're in kind of a hurry. 182 00:08:06,375 --> 00:08:08,500 And for Carrie here, 183 00:08:08,583 --> 00:08:11,625 we're thinking of something with a lot of bows. 184 00:08:11,709 --> 00:08:13,375 Very frilly and poofy. 185 00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:15,125 We want her to look like a giant cupcake. 186 00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:18,625 I'm sorry, which one of you is getting married? 187 00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:21,000 Oh, we both are! We do everything together. 188 00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:23,750 Right now, Miranda has everything but the gown... 189 00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:25,000 -And the groom. -Whoops! 190 00:08:26,417 --> 00:08:27,166 Okay. 191 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:28,583 Is this a lesbian wedding? 192 00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:31,667 Oh, no, no, no, it's very straight-laced, conservative crowd. 193 00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,041 Lotta Wall Street types. 194 00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:37,125 I'll see what I can find. Come with me. 195 00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:39,667 Your rehearsal dinner is gonna rock. 196 00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:42,750 Okay, on the count of three... 197 00:08:43,583 --> 00:08:46,417 One, two... 198 00:08:56,917 --> 00:08:58,917 Stop, I'm going to pee in this thing. 199 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,917 -Look at you! -Look at yourself! 200 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,500 Wait! Hold still. You need a veil. You need a veil. 201 00:09:03,583 --> 00:09:04,458 Okay. 202 00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:07,208 Look, look, look, look! 203 00:09:07,291 --> 00:09:08,333 Look! 204 00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:11,667 Oh, I look beautiful. 205 00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:14,041 You can't even tell that I'm pregnant in this. 206 00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:15,667 The sleeves help balance out the tummy. 207 00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:17,208 Don't you think it's kind of fetching? 208 00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:19,000 -Don't you find? -Oh, my God. 209 00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:20,500 This is too tight, I can't breathe. 210 00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:22,208 Can you get it off, can you get it off me? 211 00:09:22,291 --> 00:09:24,041 -Are you kidding? -No, I'm not kidding! 212 00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:27,041 Um, okay. Shh, you don't want the woman to come back in here. 213 00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:30,083 I'm not kidding, get it off, I'm burning up. I can't breathe! 214 00:09:30,166 --> 00:09:31,208 Okay. I'm sorry! 215 00:09:31,291 --> 00:09:34,709 Oh, my, there are a million buttons back here! 216 00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:36,125 Oh, my God, your back is all red. 217 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:39,083 Just get it off, just rip, just rip it off! 218 00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:48,291 Oh, my God. 219 00:09:49,166 --> 00:09:51,291 What just happened? 220 00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:53,041 I can't do it. I can't get married. 221 00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:55,375 This is all your fault. 222 00:09:55,458 --> 00:09:57,458 How could you take her to that dump? 223 00:09:57,542 --> 00:09:58,834 It was an experiment. 224 00:09:58,917 --> 00:09:59,875 It went awry. 225 00:09:59,959 --> 00:10:02,417 Okay, let's just slow down. 226 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,834 This is classic cold feet. Let's not do anything rash. 227 00:10:04,917 --> 00:10:06,917 Rash, yes exactly, rash. Look at this. 228 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,125 -Oh. 229 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:11,083 My body is literally rejecting the idea of marriage. 230 00:10:11,166 --> 00:10:11,917 -Do you-- Look! -Yeah. 231 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,417 Once you get a rash from a guy, 232 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:14,834 it's time to heave-ho. 233 00:10:14,917 --> 00:10:16,083 No, it's not him, it's me. 234 00:10:16,166 --> 00:10:17,709 I'm missing the bride gene. 235 00:10:17,792 --> 00:10:20,000 I should be put in a test tube and studied. 236 00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:22,375 It's not just you. I don't want to get married. 237 00:10:22,458 --> 00:10:24,333 -Ever? 238 00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:26,041 Why do we even have to get married? 239 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:26,875 Why? 240 00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,291 Give me one good reason... 241 00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:31,875 aside from the "not wanting to die alone thing." 242 00:10:31,959 --> 00:10:33,959 Which is something to think about, I admit. 243 00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:37,917 Well, for me, when it was good, it gave me a sense of security. 244 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,250 But I feel secure now. 245 00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,834 Things are great with us. 246 00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:44,125 And you know what they say. "If it ain't broke--" 247 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,417 Don't marry it. 248 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:47,125 What are you afraid would change? 249 00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:48,792 I don't know. 250 00:10:48,875 --> 00:10:51,166 Nothing. Everything. 251 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,625 Every bride feels that way at one point. 252 00:10:53,709 --> 00:10:55,208 Well, why aren't they speaking up? 253 00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:58,542 Carrie, I'm going to ask you an unpleasant question now. 254 00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,792 Why did you ever say yes? 255 00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:02,959 Because I love him. 256 00:11:03,041 --> 00:11:04,583 A man you love 257 00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:06,917 kneels in the street 258 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,625 and offers you a ring, 259 00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,250 you say yes, that's what you do. 260 00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:12,041 Look, you get married, you hope for the best. 261 00:11:12,125 --> 00:11:13,917 It doesn't work out, you get divorced. 262 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,166 You can take tap with Bojangles over here. 263 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:19,000 No, I can't take a vow of forever and ever 264 00:11:19,083 --> 00:11:22,250 if what I mean is "for the foreseeable future." 265 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:23,625 I can't do that to Aidan. 266 00:11:23,709 --> 00:11:25,500 -Talk to him about it. -How? 267 00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:27,500 How do you talk about this? "Hey, Aidan. What's up? 268 00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:30,709 I've just been thinking, and having some doubts about the whole 'I do' thing." 269 00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:32,291 It'll break his heart. 270 00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:34,000 I should never have said yes. 271 00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:35,333 I'm a bad person. 272 00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:36,834 It's amazing. 273 00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:39,208 In a courtroom, reasonable doubt can get you off for murder. 274 00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:42,333 In an engagement, it makes you feel like a bad person. 275 00:11:42,417 --> 00:11:45,667 Look, everyone has anxiety around weddings. 276 00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:49,000 Maybe your anxiety-threshold is just lower than other people's. 277 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,709 That's an interesting theory. You think that dress 278 00:11:50,792 --> 00:11:52,792 is still outside the dumpster at Tasti D-Lite? 279 00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:57,375 After being hit by a bridal wave, 280 00:11:57,458 --> 00:11:59,875 I tried to get my mind around the concept 281 00:11:59,959 --> 00:12:01,959 of happily ever after. 282 00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:07,542 As progressive as our society claims to be, 283 00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:09,834 there are still certain life targets 284 00:12:09,917 --> 00:12:11,792 we're all supposed to hit. 285 00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:13,959 Marriage, babies, 286 00:12:14,041 --> 00:12:15,583 and a home to call your own. 287 00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:17,709 But what if instead of breaking out in a smile, 288 00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:19,166 you break out in a rash? 289 00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:21,291 Is something wrong with the system? 290 00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:22,375 Or is it you? 291 00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:25,041 And do we really want these things? 292 00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:28,667 Or are we just programmed? 293 00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:32,709 In a crisis, people always tell you to listen to your gut. 294 00:12:32,792 --> 00:12:35,667 Mine was telling me to start smoking again. 295 00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:36,583 Hi. 296 00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:39,458 Uh, Marlboro Lights, please. 297 00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:45,917 But I decided not to throw it all away. 298 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,166 You know what? Actually, actually... 299 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,208 just these. 300 00:12:51,291 --> 00:12:54,000 Later, while Aidan worked on the apartment next door, 301 00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:56,667 I worked on reprogramming my attitude. 302 00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:58,917 Could I be a spring bride? 303 00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:03,333 Happy bride? 304 00:13:06,417 --> 00:13:07,417 Peek-a-boo bride? 305 00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:10,000 Stop! 306 00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:12,417 Stop, Aidan, stop it! 307 00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:21,542 Aidan! 308 00:13:23,542 --> 00:13:25,250 I'm freaking out. 309 00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:26,875 -I can't, I-- 310 00:13:27,709 --> 00:13:29,458 I cannot. I, I-- 311 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:30,959 I am having a... 312 00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:33,792 a very strong reaction to all this... 313 00:13:33,875 --> 00:13:35,041 -change. -Okay, okay. 314 00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:36,333 -I can't. -Just... don't freak out. 315 00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:37,709 I am freaking out. 316 00:13:37,792 --> 00:13:39,458 It all just feels really fast. 317 00:13:39,542 --> 00:13:41,959 The hole? I... I told you I was gonna come through there today. 318 00:13:42,041 --> 00:13:43,500 It's not just the hole! 319 00:13:47,041 --> 00:13:48,375 What? 320 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,792 It's the marriage stuff. 321 00:13:58,709 --> 00:14:00,458 I love you, and I'm sorry... 322 00:14:00,542 --> 00:14:03,250 if I'm not supposed to talk to you about this, 323 00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:04,917 but... 324 00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:07,834 But I have to. 325 00:14:07,917 --> 00:14:12,166 Hey, hey, c'mere. 326 00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:13,959 Just sit down on the floor. 327 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:23,583 What's happening? 328 00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:31,041 I didn't want to say anything, 329 00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:33,875 but then that thing came through my wall. 330 00:14:39,959 --> 00:14:43,000 I don't think that I'm ready to get married yet. 331 00:14:46,166 --> 00:14:47,542 Do you hate me? 332 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,750 No, come on. 333 00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:51,917 You're catching me a little off guard here. 334 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,375 I know. I just-- 335 00:14:53,458 --> 00:14:57,291 No, it's-- Hey, I hear you. I hear you. 336 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:04,625 I need a minute here. 337 00:15:10,333 --> 00:15:13,333 Is it because I said we could get "maui'd"? 338 00:15:15,542 --> 00:15:16,500 Huh? 339 00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:21,375 Thank you for making a joke. 340 00:15:24,417 --> 00:15:25,834 Let's slow it down. 341 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,458 Okay? How much time do you need? 342 00:15:31,166 --> 00:15:32,375 Six months? 343 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,000 Nine months? 344 00:15:38,542 --> 00:15:39,709 End of the year? 345 00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:41,166 Which year? 346 00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:46,125 So do you just need some time? 347 00:15:47,542 --> 00:15:48,500 Yeah. 348 00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:50,458 I think so. 349 00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:53,792 Okay, okay. 350 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,291 We'll get there. 351 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,542 Thank you, Aidan. 352 00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:04,041 Thank you for listening. 353 00:16:08,291 --> 00:16:10,417 Did you see the washer and dryer out there? 354 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:15,208 Hmm? 355 00:16:17,542 --> 00:16:18,667 I love you. 356 00:16:22,041 --> 00:16:25,166 The next day, Miranda enjoyed a few moments of solitude 357 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,291 with her bills. 358 00:16:26,375 --> 00:16:27,792 And her cleaning lady. 359 00:16:27,875 --> 00:16:28,917 Magda? 360 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,834 I'm going to pay you for a whole month, okay? 361 00:16:31,917 --> 00:16:33,792 Oh! 362 00:16:33,875 --> 00:16:36,458 Look what I found on the kitchen counter. 363 00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:38,375 It's beautiful! 364 00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:40,291 Did they tell you, boy or girl? 365 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,166 Yes, it's a boy. 366 00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:47,667 A boy! 367 00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,166 A boy is coming into the house! 368 00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:52,083 A boy is highest blessing. It's good luck. 369 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:58,417 Smile. 370 00:16:59,917 --> 00:17:01,750 Smile for a boy! 371 00:17:03,041 --> 00:17:06,208 A boy! 372 00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:12,625 Oh! 373 00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:18,750 And while Miranda had tea for one, 374 00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:20,834 Charlotte was mastering "Tea for Two." 375 00:17:20,917 --> 00:17:23,875 We're coming across the floor with me. 376 00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:29,917 Step, shuffle, step for you. Step, shuffle, step for me. 377 00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:34,875 And now, two by two. 378 00:17:34,959 --> 00:17:35,917 Go! 379 00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:39,959 Next pair. 380 00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:42,959 Nice! 381 00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:48,750 Very nice. 382 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:54,041 You, in the flowers... 383 00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:55,208 Go! 384 00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,291 I don't have a partner. 385 00:17:57,375 --> 00:17:58,625 Just go it alone. 386 00:17:58,709 --> 00:18:00,375 And go! 387 00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:01,959 I don't want to go it alone. 388 00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:03,166 You'll be fine. 389 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,000 Come on, flowers. 390 00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:09,667 ♪ Picture me upon your knee ♪ 391 00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:13,583 I can't do this. I'm sorry, I can't. 392 00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:16,083 And I shouldn't have to. I deserve a real partner. 393 00:18:16,166 --> 00:18:19,250 And this song is abusive and hurtful. 394 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:20,959 Should I stop? 395 00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:23,583 And you should think about how a person would feel 396 00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,333 who's going through a very difficult divorce. 397 00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:27,041 And who just comes here to have fun 398 00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:29,375 and feel good about themselves! 399 00:18:34,667 --> 00:18:37,583 In her attempt to skip over her grief, 400 00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:40,000 Charlotte tapped into her pain. 401 00:18:47,083 --> 00:18:49,458 The next week, we all put on our finest 402 00:18:49,542 --> 00:18:51,625 and gathered at the Black and White Ball, 403 00:18:51,709 --> 00:18:53,792 Richard Wright's charity fundraiser. 404 00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:56,542 Thank you. 405 00:18:56,625 --> 00:18:59,083 Aidan looks so handsome in a tux. 406 00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:00,041 Yeah. 407 00:19:00,125 --> 00:19:01,375 How's he doing? 408 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,959 He's good. Good. 409 00:19:04,041 --> 00:19:06,542 Still a little thrown by the change in plans, 410 00:19:06,625 --> 00:19:08,834 but good. 411 00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:10,834 I just hope I did the right thing. 412 00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,125 You followed your feelings. 413 00:19:12,208 --> 00:19:14,000 That's always the right thing to do. 414 00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:17,583 I'm drinking seltzer. 415 00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:20,208 And I'm in a formal gown with an elasto-waist. 416 00:19:20,291 --> 00:19:22,166 -I really fit in here. 417 00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:27,417 Do you realize you're growing a teeny tiny penis inside you? 418 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,667 That's so sci-fi. 419 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,417 Oh, my God, Miranda! 420 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,667 You're having a boy? 421 00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:34,250 Oh! Are you so excited? 422 00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:40,208 Two glasses of French fizz here and a sodey for you. 423 00:19:40,291 --> 00:19:43,250 Aidan, did you know that Miranda's having a boy? 424 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,583 I think I'm going to hurt myself. 425 00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:49,458 I trust you're finding something noteworthy 426 00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:51,000 to put in your column, J.J.? 427 00:19:51,083 --> 00:19:53,291 Oh. Look at you. 428 00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:54,542 I can think of a few other places 429 00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:56,166 I'd like to put my column tonight. 430 00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:57,417 Dream on, J.J. 431 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,667 Never hurts to ask, right? 432 00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:00,125 Okay. Well, I'm sure you know this one, 433 00:20:00,208 --> 00:20:01,959 but guess which hotel king 434 00:20:02,041 --> 00:20:03,709 is having very private relations 435 00:20:03,792 --> 00:20:05,500 with a very public New York woman? 436 00:20:05,583 --> 00:20:08,000 Oh, I guess the cat's out of the bag. 437 00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:09,709 Oh, it's out of the bag. 438 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,125 Look at them together. 439 00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:15,291 Judith McVain, she's insatiable. 440 00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:18,458 Word is they've done it in every one of his hotels. 441 00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:21,083 Excuse me. 442 00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:23,667 Good chatting with you, Jonesy. 443 00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:25,208 Samantha could handle the press, 444 00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:26,667 but she couldn't handle the truth. 445 00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:29,291 That fucking Richard is fucking the entire styles section. 446 00:20:29,375 --> 00:20:30,667 And for the first time in my life, 447 00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:32,250 I actually give a shit. 448 00:20:33,125 --> 00:20:34,458 I think I have monogamy. 449 00:20:34,542 --> 00:20:36,250 I must've caught it from you people. 450 00:20:36,333 --> 00:20:37,250 Now it's airborne. 451 00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:38,542 There are a lot of hot guys here, 452 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:40,542 but I don't want to fuck a single one of them. 453 00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:41,792 Not him... 454 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,333 Or him. 455 00:20:43,417 --> 00:20:44,583 What about this guy over here? 456 00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:45,834 'Cause he asked me if I knew you. 457 00:20:45,917 --> 00:20:48,125 -Who? -This guy right there... 458 00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:51,500 No, I'm not interested. 459 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,208 Damnit, I'm not well. 460 00:20:53,291 --> 00:20:54,959 Well, at least you're not getting divorced. 461 00:20:55,041 --> 00:20:56,750 Why don't you just tell Richard how you feel? 462 00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:57,917 I can't do that! 463 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,834 He likes me because I'm supposed to be immune 464 00:20:59,917 --> 00:21:02,083 to this bullshit. 465 00:21:02,166 --> 00:21:04,083 There goes that Judith Bitchy-McBitch 466 00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:05,500 heading for Richard. 467 00:21:05,583 --> 00:21:07,750 Okay, I'm going to go over there, 468 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,583 and I'm going to be completely calm 469 00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:12,333 and completely professional. 470 00:21:12,417 --> 00:21:15,500 Every day, millions of people suffer from monogamy. 471 00:21:15,583 --> 00:21:16,792 There is no known cure. 472 00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:19,500 -Ahh! -Oh, I'm so sorry. 473 00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,250 Hey, gorgeous. Great turnout. 474 00:21:24,333 --> 00:21:27,083 -This is purely professional. 475 00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:29,250 Exactly how many women are you fucking? 476 00:21:29,333 --> 00:21:32,291 It's the Black and White Ball, not the "black and blue ball." 477 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,875 As your publicist, I must tell you, 478 00:21:35,959 --> 00:21:37,625 all this canoodling and bed-hopping 479 00:21:37,709 --> 00:21:39,041 is tacky and immature. 480 00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:41,208 It makes investors nervous, and frankly-- 481 00:21:41,291 --> 00:21:42,959 It makes you nervous, too. 482 00:21:43,041 --> 00:21:45,917 As your publicist, yes, it does. 483 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,250 So grow up. 484 00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:48,667 Stop fucking other women. 485 00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:49,875 Just fuck me. 486 00:21:51,250 --> 00:21:55,083 C'mon, we're not the monotonous-- 487 00:21:55,166 --> 00:21:56,625 I mean, monogamous type. 488 00:21:56,709 --> 00:21:58,083 Well, maybe I am. 489 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,583 Well, gorgeous, I'm not. 490 00:22:03,750 --> 00:22:04,709 Fine. 491 00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:08,250 Hey, Jonesy, you get any good dish for me? 492 00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:10,458 In fact, she did. 493 00:22:10,542 --> 00:22:13,000 Samantha gave J.J. an exclusive, 494 00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:17,000 just to prove to herself that she was not. 495 00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:17,959 What the--? 496 00:22:18,041 --> 00:22:19,500 Shit. 497 00:22:19,583 --> 00:22:20,583 Shit! 498 00:22:20,667 --> 00:22:21,667 Wait. Just a minute. 499 00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:22,959 It wasn't the first time 500 00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:24,500 a guy went soft on Samantha, 501 00:22:24,583 --> 00:22:27,583 but it was the first time she didn't care. 502 00:22:27,667 --> 00:22:30,375 Aw, Jonesy, I can't believe this is happening. 503 00:22:30,458 --> 00:22:31,667 This never happens to me. 504 00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:32,834 I can give you a list of women 505 00:22:32,917 --> 00:22:33,959 who this has never happened with. 506 00:22:34,041 --> 00:22:36,625 -That won't be necessary. No, I want to. 507 00:22:36,709 --> 00:22:39,792 I want you to call Anna Bonnie at 957-7297. 508 00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:42,875 Or Lisa Yellen at 459-- 509 00:22:42,959 --> 00:22:44,083 There you are. 510 00:22:44,166 --> 00:22:47,792 Listen, maybe I was too quick back there. 511 00:22:47,875 --> 00:22:50,667 If there's anyone who could keep monotony interesting... 512 00:22:50,750 --> 00:22:52,125 Hey, man of the hour. 513 00:22:54,417 --> 00:22:55,500 Samantha... 514 00:22:57,333 --> 00:22:58,792 You'll never change... 515 00:22:59,917 --> 00:23:01,333 and I wouldn't want you to. 516 00:23:01,417 --> 00:23:03,000 Let's just keep things as they were. 517 00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:03,917 This doesn't count. 518 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,291 He couldn't even stay hard. 519 00:23:05,375 --> 00:23:06,583 Hey! 520 00:23:06,667 --> 00:23:08,333 Good seeing you, J.J. 521 00:23:11,792 --> 00:23:13,583 Don't say it, limp dick. 522 00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:14,792 Okay. 523 00:23:19,625 --> 00:23:22,458 That's a very good look for you. 524 00:23:22,542 --> 00:23:24,959 I think we both look kinda sharp tonight. 525 00:23:26,291 --> 00:23:28,375 You've never looked prettier, my friend. 526 00:23:28,458 --> 00:23:29,458 Thank you. 527 00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:32,208 Let's get married tonight. 528 00:23:32,291 --> 00:23:33,417 Ha-ha. 529 00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:37,041 Come on, you've got this beautiful white dress on. 530 00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:39,834 I've got this tux for another 13 hours. 531 00:23:41,667 --> 00:23:42,834 Let's just do it. 532 00:23:43,667 --> 00:23:45,417 Let's get in a cab, 533 00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:49,166 airport, Vegas, huh? 534 00:23:49,250 --> 00:23:51,417 No muss, no fuss. 535 00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:54,125 -Aidan, this isn't funny. -Seriously. 536 00:23:54,208 --> 00:23:55,333 Come on! 537 00:23:55,417 --> 00:23:59,500 I mean, look, if we get married tonight, 538 00:24:00,458 --> 00:24:02,500 we wake up tomorrow, it's done. 539 00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:06,291 All right? We're still us. We don't... 540 00:24:06,375 --> 00:24:08,834 we don't even have to tell anybody. 541 00:24:08,917 --> 00:24:12,834 Well... what about what we discussed? 542 00:24:12,917 --> 00:24:14,208 Ah, c'mon. 543 00:24:14,291 --> 00:24:15,333 You're just scared. 544 00:24:15,417 --> 00:24:17,333 Yes, I'm scared. 545 00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:20,917 Come on, Aidan, we talked about this. 546 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,583 No, you talked, and I listened. 547 00:24:23,667 --> 00:24:27,834 Carrie, I looked at you tonight from across the room, and... 548 00:24:27,917 --> 00:24:30,250 and I thought, I love her... 549 00:24:30,333 --> 00:24:32,125 and she loves me, and... 550 00:24:32,208 --> 00:24:33,667 what are we waiting for? 551 00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:36,333 Because I need more time. 552 00:24:36,417 --> 00:24:38,250 What's going to change? 553 00:24:38,333 --> 00:24:39,542 This is me. 554 00:24:39,625 --> 00:24:41,375 I don't have any tricks up my sleeve. 555 00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:42,667 This is who I am. 556 00:24:42,750 --> 00:24:45,000 This isn't about you. 557 00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:47,500 I'm not ready for marriage. 558 00:24:47,583 --> 00:24:49,333 Well, I am. 559 00:24:49,417 --> 00:24:51,583 I'm sorry if that scares you, but I am. 560 00:24:51,667 --> 00:24:55,041 People fall in love, they get married. 561 00:24:55,125 --> 00:24:56,625 That's what they do. 562 00:24:56,709 --> 00:24:57,917 Not necessarily. 563 00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:00,375 I don't... 564 00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:04,625 Why, why can't we just... 565 00:25:04,709 --> 00:25:07,125 just keep things the way they are, 566 00:25:07,208 --> 00:25:08,291 just live together? 567 00:25:08,375 --> 00:25:10,709 I don't want to live together. 568 00:25:10,792 --> 00:25:13,500 I've had girlfriends for 20 years, 569 00:25:13,583 --> 00:25:15,542 I want you to be my wife. 570 00:25:15,625 --> 00:25:17,542 Aidan, you're pushing me. 571 00:25:17,625 --> 00:25:19,333 Well, maybe you need to be pushed. 572 00:25:19,417 --> 00:25:20,417 What's the big deal? 573 00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:21,750 It's just a stupid piece of paper. 574 00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:24,667 If it's just a stupid piece of paper, 575 00:25:24,750 --> 00:25:26,166 then why do we need it? 576 00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:28,333 Because I need it! 577 00:25:28,417 --> 00:25:32,208 I want to make this official and lock this thing down. 578 00:25:32,291 --> 00:25:36,291 Carrie, I want the whole wide world to know that you're mine. 579 00:25:36,375 --> 00:25:38,250 Who else's would I be? 580 00:25:41,709 --> 00:25:43,083 Oh, my God. 581 00:25:46,458 --> 00:25:48,166 You still don't trust me. 582 00:25:48,250 --> 00:25:50,375 You don't even wear that ring on your fucking finger. 583 00:25:50,458 --> 00:25:51,542 I am yours. 584 00:25:51,625 --> 00:25:54,375 There is nobody else. 585 00:25:54,458 --> 00:25:58,458 I love you. But I can't marry you to make you trust me. 586 00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:01,792 Aidan. 587 00:26:03,417 --> 00:26:04,959 Look at me. 588 00:26:06,792 --> 00:26:10,625 Look at me before we make a huge mistake. 589 00:26:10,709 --> 00:26:13,458 If you don't want to marry me right now, 590 00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:16,417 you'll never want to marry me. 591 00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:18,959 That's not true. 592 00:26:19,041 --> 00:26:20,458 I think it is. 593 00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:23,792 Yeah. 594 00:26:31,834 --> 00:26:34,333 I'm gonna sleep in the other apartment tonight. 595 00:26:34,417 --> 00:26:35,375 Really? 596 00:26:36,667 --> 00:26:38,208 Yeah, really. 597 00:26:39,208 --> 00:26:40,792 Just for tonight? 598 00:26:42,458 --> 00:26:44,333 I can't believe I'm back here again. 599 00:26:46,333 --> 00:26:48,291 Oh, shit. 600 00:26:58,125 --> 00:26:59,834 We had left the land of black and white, 601 00:26:59,917 --> 00:27:03,291 and now, everything was gray. 602 00:27:03,375 --> 00:27:07,375 To the outside world, Miranda's maternal gene might never kick in. 603 00:27:12,166 --> 00:27:17,083 But that night, she felt a real kick from deep inside. 604 00:27:54,417 --> 00:27:56,875 There are some walls you can push through, 605 00:27:56,959 --> 00:27:58,458 and some you can't. 606 00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:06,667 That was the only night we would ever spend 607 00:28:06,750 --> 00:28:08,583 on the other side of the wall. 608 00:28:13,083 --> 00:28:16,125 The next day, Aidan moved out.