1 00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:52,014 A girl in pigtails once said, "There's no place like home." 2 00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:57,007 But then, her home didn't have a toilet 3 00:00:57,009 --> 00:00:59,007 that flushed for no reason... 4 00:01:02,012 --> 00:01:04,017 And a boyfriend who was moving out 5 00:01:04,019 --> 00:01:06,003 for one big reason. 6 00:01:10,023 --> 00:01:12,018 Well, that's the last of it. 7 00:01:17,014 --> 00:01:18,016 Okay. 8 00:01:21,006 --> 00:01:23,009 -Do you want me to fix that? -No, it's okay. 9 00:01:23,011 --> 00:01:25,017 I can get someone to come and fix it. 10 00:01:28,007 --> 00:01:30,005 Just let me get in there for a sec... 11 00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:37,017 Hold the ball cock. 12 00:01:37,019 --> 00:01:38,021 Huh? 13 00:01:38,023 --> 00:01:41,001 -See right here? -Oh. 14 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,003 Yeah, right there. 15 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,018 That should do it. 16 00:01:52,002 --> 00:01:53,012 I should go. 17 00:01:57,013 --> 00:01:59,009 You can't leave. 18 00:01:59,011 --> 00:02:02,023 Our last words to each other can't be "ball cock." 19 00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:07,009 You should definitely stay. 20 00:02:08,021 --> 00:02:10,022 At least for another day. 21 00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:13,022 Or forever. 22 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,020 We've been through this. 23 00:02:17,021 --> 00:02:19,006 I can't. 24 00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,015 Are you sure? 25 00:02:25,004 --> 00:02:26,011 I am. 26 00:02:29,002 --> 00:02:30,013 Aidan, um... 27 00:02:33,012 --> 00:02:37,002 This... this is difficult to say... 28 00:02:38,008 --> 00:02:43,023 Um... I left the ring on the clown table. 29 00:02:44,022 --> 00:02:46,022 -It's yours. -No, no, no, no. 30 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,010 I should never have accepted it in the first place, 31 00:02:49,012 --> 00:02:51,008 I'm sorry. 32 00:02:51,010 --> 00:02:52,013 Please take the ring. 33 00:02:52,015 --> 00:02:54,011 But I want you to have it. 34 00:02:54,013 --> 00:02:56,019 Please take it. 35 00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:58,012 If you do or say... 36 00:03:01,002 --> 00:03:02,021 one more nice thing... 37 00:03:08,008 --> 00:03:09,008 Okay, I gotta go. 38 00:03:09,010 --> 00:03:10,013 All right. I can't watch you leave. 39 00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:12,021 So I think I'm just gonna, I better just-- 40 00:03:12,023 --> 00:03:14,006 I'm gonna stay in here. 41 00:03:14,008 --> 00:03:16,004 Could you just... 42 00:03:16,006 --> 00:03:19,003 Could you just um, shut the door and... 43 00:03:19,005 --> 00:03:20,008 Carrie... 44 00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:21,013 I know. 45 00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:23,021 Go. 46 00:03:42,006 --> 00:03:43,017 Three hours later, 47 00:03:43,019 --> 00:03:46,012 I peeled myself off the bathroom floor. 48 00:03:56,004 --> 00:03:58,005 Apparently, there were things that were difficult 49 00:03:58,007 --> 00:04:00,011 for Aidan to say as well. 50 00:04:09,014 --> 00:04:13,002 I curled up to read Aidan's last words to me. 51 00:04:13,004 --> 00:04:15,005 Also known as "The goodbye letter." 52 00:04:26,023 --> 00:04:28,008 Aidan's evicting her? 53 00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:29,017 He's not evicting her. 54 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:32,008 He's giving her 30 days to decide what she wants to do. 55 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,017 Well, that's just tacky. 56 00:04:33,019 --> 00:04:35,020 Look, life gets complicated. 57 00:04:35,022 --> 00:04:38,015 Steve and I are drawing up papers to timeshare our kid. 58 00:04:38,017 --> 00:04:41,008 Great love stories are supposed to end with tragedy and tears, 59 00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:45,003 not papers from the law firm of Gold and Vogel. 60 00:04:45,005 --> 00:04:46,018 This is more than fair. 61 00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,015 He's asking you to buy your apartment 62 00:04:48,017 --> 00:04:50,009 for the exact price he paid 63 00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:52,006 or you can vacate and he'll sell it. 64 00:04:52,008 --> 00:04:53,022 Vacate? 65 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,021 I'm homeless. I'll be a bag lady. 66 00:04:55,023 --> 00:04:57,010 A Fendi bag lady, but a bag lady. 67 00:04:57,012 --> 00:04:59,012 Well, maybe you should think about buying your place. 68 00:04:59,014 --> 00:05:00,016 No, I'm not a buyer. 69 00:05:00,018 --> 00:05:01,021 New York is a town of renters. 70 00:05:01,023 --> 00:05:02,018 Everybody rents. 71 00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:04,007 -I don't. -I don't. 72 00:05:04,009 --> 00:05:05,005 I don't. 73 00:05:05,007 --> 00:05:06,013 You got yours in the settlement. 74 00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:08,012 You did not have to pay for your apartment. 75 00:05:08,014 --> 00:05:11,004 Oh, I paid for that apartment. 76 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,019 I'm pregnant. I can't control it. 77 00:05:15,021 --> 00:05:17,010 Well, honey, you better learn 78 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,012 because that is unappetizing. 79 00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,008 I know. 80 00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:23,006 I am so swollen and gassy. 81 00:05:23,008 --> 00:05:24,021 I'm like a flotation device. 82 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:28,004 No, I'll get this one. And I don't want a fight out of you. 83 00:05:28,006 --> 00:05:31,007 Save it for your down payment. 84 00:05:31,009 --> 00:05:35,007 Ooh! Excuse me? You bought the Chanel wallet? 85 00:05:35,009 --> 00:05:37,018 Oh, no. Richard gave it to me as a gift. 86 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:39,003 Nice! What was the occasion? 87 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,005 No occasion. 88 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,010 He is in love with you. 89 00:05:41,012 --> 00:05:42,007 He's not in love with me. 90 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,007 -You don't know that. -Yes, I do. 91 00:05:45,004 --> 00:05:46,019 Take a look at the card. 92 00:05:48,008 --> 00:05:49,020 "Style for style. 93 00:05:49,022 --> 00:05:51,000 Best, Richard." 94 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,014 -"Best," yikes. -"Best" is the worst. 95 00:05:53,016 --> 00:05:55,023 Yeah, even Gold and Vogel give you a "sincerely." 96 00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:57,013 Best is like signing, "Not love." 97 00:05:57,015 --> 00:05:58,019 Well, it's the thought that counts. 98 00:05:58,021 --> 00:06:01,004 He bought you something he knew you'd love. 99 00:06:01,006 --> 00:06:02,013 Yeah, he's a pretty generous guy. 100 00:06:02,015 --> 00:06:03,012 With money. 101 00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,002 Aidan wanted me to keep the ring. 102 00:06:05,023 --> 00:06:07,012 You did, didn't you? 103 00:06:08,022 --> 00:06:10,019 Oh, honey, you're a fool. 104 00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:12,004 No. 105 00:06:12,006 --> 00:06:14,021 It was the right thing to do. 106 00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:16,014 Did you ever think about giving yours back? 107 00:06:16,016 --> 00:06:18,010 No, I love that ring. 108 00:06:18,012 --> 00:06:20,012 Oh, I couldn't keep it. 109 00:06:20,014 --> 00:06:23,002 Every time I looked at it, it would break my heart. 110 00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:28,020 This ring is worth a lot. 111 00:06:28,022 --> 00:06:31,021 Tiffany, 2.17 carats, platinum setting. 112 00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:34,012 Beautiful cut, very few inclusions. 113 00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:36,012 So what do you want to do with it? 114 00:06:36,014 --> 00:06:39,012 I was thinking maybe I'd turn it into a... necklace? 115 00:06:39,014 --> 00:06:42,022 A floating diamond necklace would be to die. 116 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:43,022 Very now. 117 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,023 So a lot of people do this? 118 00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:47,018 These were my baguettes. 119 00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:50,016 Because it turned out my husband was a "fagette," 120 00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:53,011 now they're earrings. But he had good taste. 121 00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:56,001 So a necklace? 122 00:06:56,003 --> 00:06:58,018 -I'm not sure. -Maybe a pendant? 123 00:06:58,020 --> 00:07:00,008 We can melt down the platinum setting 124 00:07:00,010 --> 00:07:02,010 and turn it into spectacular earrings. 125 00:07:02,012 --> 00:07:05,018 Melt? Melt it down? 126 00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:08,008 There in the wedding band boneyard, 127 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,003 Charlotte started to melt down. 128 00:07:10,005 --> 00:07:12,019 I don't think I'm ready for this. 129 00:07:12,021 --> 00:07:15,016 Just don't take it to the Gypsies next door. 130 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,007 Okay. 131 00:07:21,009 --> 00:07:24,004 Let's look at your assets here at the bank. 132 00:07:24,006 --> 00:07:27,007 We may be able to use them as collateral for the loan. 133 00:07:27,009 --> 00:07:28,021 Linda, line one. 134 00:07:28,023 --> 00:07:29,020 Okay. 135 00:07:29,022 --> 00:07:31,015 It says here that you have 136 00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,019 $700 in your checking account. 137 00:07:33,021 --> 00:07:35,019 I just paid my credit card bill. 138 00:07:36,014 --> 00:07:41,001 And $957 in savings? 139 00:07:43,008 --> 00:07:45,021 Look... Linda. 140 00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:47,003 You're single, right? 141 00:07:47,005 --> 00:07:50,001 So I'm sure that you can appreciate my problem. 142 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,021 I just broke up with my fiancé, 143 00:07:52,023 --> 00:07:55,005 which, trust me, is traumatic enough. 144 00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,023 Linda, line two. 145 00:07:57,001 --> 00:07:57,023 And now... 146 00:07:58,001 --> 00:08:00,001 I have 25 days 147 00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:02,022 to either find the money to buy my place 148 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,017 or I am out on the street. 149 00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:07,022 Do you have any other income 150 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,017 besides the column? 151 00:08:09,019 --> 00:08:13,020 No. But I was chosen as New York Magazine's best pick 152 00:08:13,022 --> 00:08:15,012 for city columnist. 153 00:08:15,014 --> 00:08:17,010 I was the pick over Pete Hamill. 154 00:08:17,012 --> 00:08:20,004 What about your assets outside the bank? 155 00:08:20,006 --> 00:08:22,011 Property? Stocks? Bonds? 156 00:08:22,013 --> 00:08:23,009 No. 157 00:08:23,011 --> 00:08:24,009 No, no. 158 00:08:24,011 --> 00:08:27,016 I'm sorry, Miss Bradshaw... 159 00:08:27,018 --> 00:08:31,014 but you're not a desirable candidate 160 00:08:31,016 --> 00:08:33,007 for a loan. 161 00:08:37,002 --> 00:08:40,014 After assessing what little assets I had, 162 00:08:40,016 --> 00:08:44,000 I realized I would have to change my lifestyle. 163 00:08:44,002 --> 00:08:45,001 Excuse me? 164 00:08:45,003 --> 00:08:46,020 Can you tell me how much the bus is? 165 00:08:46,022 --> 00:08:48,010 $1.50. 166 00:08:48,012 --> 00:08:50,004 Really? 167 00:08:50,006 --> 00:08:51,017 Wow, the last time I took the bus, 168 00:08:51,019 --> 00:08:53,012 it was like 75 cents. 169 00:08:53,014 --> 00:08:55,022 You know, for three more bucks you could take a cab. 170 00:09:02,005 --> 00:09:04,000 For crying out loud. 171 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:07,004 Why do you have to take the bus, if you're on the bus? 172 00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:10,018 My thoughts exactly. 173 00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:14,005 So here I was, a 35-year-old single woman 174 00:09:14,007 --> 00:09:15,021 with no financial security, 175 00:09:15,023 --> 00:09:18,009 but many life experiences behind me. 176 00:09:18,011 --> 00:09:20,004 -Did that mean nothing? 177 00:09:20,006 --> 00:09:22,012 After all, heartbreak and breakups 178 00:09:22,014 --> 00:09:24,005 are the hardest kind of work. 179 00:09:24,007 --> 00:09:27,007 So shouldn't there be some sort of credit for enduring them? 180 00:09:27,009 --> 00:09:30,007 And if not, how do you retain a sense of value 181 00:09:30,009 --> 00:09:33,005 when you have nothing concrete to show for it? 182 00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,014 Because at the end 183 00:09:34,016 --> 00:09:37,018 of yet another failed relationship, 184 00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:41,010 when all you have are war wounds and self-doubt, 185 00:09:41,012 --> 00:09:43,009 you have to wonder... 186 00:09:43,011 --> 00:09:44,022 What's it all worth? 187 00:09:46,016 --> 00:09:49,022 Let me just say again, I love your gallery. 188 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000 So if there are ever any openings, 189 00:09:52,002 --> 00:09:53,020 you have my resume. 190 00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:57,006 Meanwhile, a woman with far fewer financial worries 191 00:09:57,008 --> 00:10:00,001 was also contemplating her worth. 192 00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:17,019 Charlotte knew the ring didn't mean as much now 193 00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:20,017 that she was no longer with Trey. 194 00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:23,015 But on that particularly low Thursday, 195 00:10:24,017 --> 00:10:27,022 she put on her 2.17 carat diamond 196 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:32,019 and wandered around her 2.17 carat Park Avenue apartment. 197 00:10:41,023 --> 00:10:44,008 That night at Richard's... 198 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,016 Another gift? 199 00:10:45,018 --> 00:10:47,018 Are you trying to spoil me? 200 00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:49,006 That's the plan. 201 00:10:49,008 --> 00:10:51,006 Ooh, La Petite Coquette, my favorite. 202 00:10:51,008 --> 00:10:52,015 I know. I pay attention. 203 00:10:52,017 --> 00:10:54,019 Wait a minute, there's a card. 204 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,016 Oh. 205 00:10:56,018 --> 00:10:58,001 The card. 206 00:10:59,022 --> 00:11:03,000 "Sexy for sexy. Best, Richard." 207 00:11:03,002 --> 00:11:06,011 Why don't you slip into that while I pour us some Cristal? 208 00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,022 I'll do my very best. 209 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:14,007 Oh, water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. 210 00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:17,002 Oh, this is torture. 211 00:11:17,004 --> 00:11:18,012 Why are you doing this to me? 212 00:11:18,014 --> 00:11:19,018 I can't buy shoes. 213 00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:21,009 Well, I have to buy shoes. 214 00:11:21,011 --> 00:11:22,013 None of my old ones fit. 215 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,005 Even my feet are fat. 216 00:11:24,007 --> 00:11:25,005 Well, these are pretty. 217 00:11:25,007 --> 00:11:27,000 I'm looking for comfortable. 218 00:11:27,002 --> 00:11:28,018 Then I'll try these for you. 219 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,022 -Excuse me, sir. -Yes? 220 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,007 Could I try these, please, in a seven and a half? 221 00:11:32,009 --> 00:11:35,005 Oh, and um, these, and... 222 00:11:36,023 --> 00:11:38,023 well, I guess, just all of these. 223 00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:40,003 But sir... 224 00:11:40,005 --> 00:11:42,011 no matter what happens in the next 20 minutes, 225 00:11:42,013 --> 00:11:45,012 under no circumstances am I to buy these. 226 00:11:45,014 --> 00:11:47,001 I'm just trying them on for fun. 227 00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:50,023 -How fun for me. 228 00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:52,010 Could I try these in a nine? 229 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,018 -Sure. -Thanks. 230 00:11:57,021 --> 00:11:59,006 What is that smell? 231 00:11:59,008 --> 00:12:00,012 Sorry. 232 00:12:00,014 --> 00:12:02,015 I've learned to control the sound now, 233 00:12:02,017 --> 00:12:03,021 but not the activity. 234 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:06,003 Well, that's just mean. 235 00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:07,023 Damn. 236 00:12:08,001 --> 00:12:10,006 How are people gonna know to scatter without a warning? 237 00:12:10,008 --> 00:12:12,015 Although maybe it's not that I've... 238 00:12:12,017 --> 00:12:13,022 controlled the noise 239 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,020 as much as my ass is so big 240 00:12:15,022 --> 00:12:17,023 -the sound is now muffled. 241 00:12:18,001 --> 00:12:19,009 Look at my fingers. 242 00:12:19,011 --> 00:12:20,010 They're like sausages. 243 00:12:20,012 --> 00:12:21,014 I can't even get my ring off. 244 00:12:21,016 --> 00:12:23,023 I'm telling you, the fat ass, 245 00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:25,002 the farting. 246 00:12:25,004 --> 00:12:26,002 It's ridiculous. 247 00:12:26,004 --> 00:12:27,008 I am unfuckable. 248 00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:30,010 And I have never been so horny in my entire life. 249 00:12:30,012 --> 00:12:32,012 -Really? -Yeah. 250 00:12:32,014 --> 00:12:35,002 That's why you're supposed to be married when you're pregnant. 251 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:38,003 So somebody is obligated to have sex with you. 252 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,018 I'm an undesirable. 253 00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:43,020 No, I am. 254 00:12:43,022 --> 00:12:45,001 The lady at the bank said 255 00:12:45,003 --> 00:12:48,019 I was an unattractive candidate for a loan. 256 00:12:48,021 --> 00:12:49,020 Where did all my money go? 257 00:12:49,022 --> 00:12:51,018 I know I made some. 258 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:54,010 Uh... at 400 bucks a pop, 259 00:12:54,012 --> 00:12:56,005 how many of these do you have? 260 00:12:56,007 --> 00:12:57,007 Fifty? 261 00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,021 Come on. 262 00:12:58,023 --> 00:12:59,023 A hundred? 263 00:13:00,022 --> 00:13:02,003 Would that be wrong? 264 00:13:02,005 --> 00:13:03,010 100 times 400. 265 00:13:03,012 --> 00:13:04,017 There's your down payment. 266 00:13:04,019 --> 00:13:06,010 Well, that's only $4,000. 267 00:13:07,004 --> 00:13:08,016 No, it's $40,000. 268 00:13:08,018 --> 00:13:11,016 I've spent... 269 00:13:12,007 --> 00:13:15,003 $40,000 on shoes 270 00:13:15,005 --> 00:13:17,006 and I have no place to live? 271 00:13:18,022 --> 00:13:23,001 I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes. 272 00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:29,017 I pulled my own finger. 273 00:13:29,019 --> 00:13:33,005 I'm a walking whoopee cushion. 274 00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:35,001 When a girl gets backed up against the walls 275 00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:38,006 she can't afford, she has to consider renting others. 276 00:13:39,014 --> 00:13:40,023 That's a closet? 277 00:13:41,022 --> 00:13:43,004 Where do the shoes go? 278 00:13:43,006 --> 00:13:46,015 You get one of those racks that hang on the door. 279 00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:49,022 I'll hang myself on the door if I have to live here. 280 00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:54,007 Do-- 281 00:13:54,009 --> 00:13:56,000 Do I smell curry? 282 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,006 There's an Indian restaurant downstairs. 283 00:13:59,023 --> 00:14:02,003 Delia, I ask you, 284 00:14:02,005 --> 00:14:06,005 how can this apartment be $2,800 a month? 285 00:14:06,007 --> 00:14:08,020 I pay $750 for something that's twice the size 286 00:14:08,022 --> 00:14:10,013 and it don't smell like take-out. 287 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,006 You have a rent-controlled apartment? 288 00:14:12,008 --> 00:14:13,018 I suggest you stay there. 289 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:17,017 Well... unfortunately, that's really not an option. 290 00:14:19,003 --> 00:14:21,021 Now, what other shitholes are you showing me today? 291 00:14:21,023 --> 00:14:23,002 I have to be honest, 292 00:14:23,004 --> 00:14:25,014 with your attitude and price limitations, 293 00:14:25,016 --> 00:14:28,016 I think you should consider Weehawken. 294 00:14:29,022 --> 00:14:32,016 Uh, well, get back to me when the numbers are in. 295 00:14:34,011 --> 00:14:36,014 Well, look at you all dressed up. 296 00:14:36,016 --> 00:14:38,005 Applying for a job here? 297 00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,015 So this is where you work? 298 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,015 It's cute. 299 00:14:42,017 --> 00:14:44,021 It's smaller than I expected. 300 00:14:44,023 --> 00:14:47,018 I always imagined rows and rows of blondes 301 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,007 in tight sweaters typing. 302 00:14:49,009 --> 00:14:51,022 Oh, they're at lunch. 303 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,013 I am here in an official capacity. 304 00:14:54,015 --> 00:14:55,009 Oh. 305 00:14:55,011 --> 00:14:57,008 Aren't you gonna ask me to sit down? 306 00:14:57,010 --> 00:15:00,001 By all means, pick a chair. 307 00:15:00,003 --> 00:15:02,005 Faced with the prospect of Weehawken, 308 00:15:02,007 --> 00:15:05,010 I decided it was time to call in the "big" guns. 309 00:15:05,012 --> 00:15:09,013 Now, what can I do for you? 310 00:15:09,015 --> 00:15:12,001 I once read that you took something like 311 00:15:12,003 --> 00:15:15,014 three million dollars and leveraged it to build a hundred million dollar building. 312 00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:17,002 How did you do that? 313 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,006 What's going on? 314 00:15:19,008 --> 00:15:21,005 I want to buy my apartment. 315 00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,017 But I have no money. 316 00:15:26,015 --> 00:15:28,003 I'm worth nothing. 317 00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:32,014 You're worth a million bucks, Bradshaw. 318 00:15:32,016 --> 00:15:35,004 Well, maybe you should go work at a bank. 319 00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:39,016 Aidan and I broke up. 320 00:15:42,013 --> 00:15:45,012 So it's not just money troubles. 321 00:15:47,005 --> 00:15:48,018 Why didn't you call me? 322 00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:50,013 I got enough troubles. 323 00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:54,019 What happened? 324 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,023 Apparently, you were right. 325 00:15:56,001 --> 00:15:57,015 I'm not the marrying kind. 326 00:15:57,017 --> 00:15:59,010 Or the timing wasn't right. 327 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,019 You're gonna be okay, kid. 328 00:16:04,019 --> 00:16:07,007 So I need money. 329 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,017 You know money. 330 00:16:08,019 --> 00:16:11,016 I need to know what you know about money. 331 00:16:11,018 --> 00:16:13,005 Simple. 332 00:16:15,009 --> 00:16:17,012 I'll tell you how to get the money. 333 00:16:17,014 --> 00:16:19,020 Big offered me the money for my down payment, 334 00:16:19,022 --> 00:16:22,003 but I could never take it. 335 00:16:25,022 --> 00:16:27,021 -Could I? -No, you couldn't. 336 00:16:27,023 --> 00:16:30,009 He just gave you $30,000? 337 00:16:30,011 --> 00:16:32,009 As a loan. I would pay him back. 338 00:16:32,011 --> 00:16:33,016 Take the money. 339 00:16:33,018 --> 00:16:36,008 When a man gives you money, you give him control. 340 00:16:36,010 --> 00:16:37,020 It's just money. 341 00:16:37,022 --> 00:16:39,005 Man, woman, who cares? 342 00:16:39,007 --> 00:16:41,014 It's fluid. Someone needs it, you give it. 343 00:16:41,016 --> 00:16:43,008 You need it, you take it. 344 00:16:43,010 --> 00:16:45,006 I'm uncomfortable with this conversation. 345 00:16:45,008 --> 00:16:46,017 We shouldn't be talking about money. 346 00:16:46,019 --> 00:16:48,014 Why not? We talk about everything else. 347 00:16:48,016 --> 00:16:50,015 Yeah, people are funny about money. 348 00:16:50,017 --> 00:16:51,019 Like Richard. 349 00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:53,022 He's happy to buy me gifts, but-- 350 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:54,023 still no "love"? 351 00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:59,017 No, but he continues to send his "best." 352 00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,011 Don't cash Big's check. 353 00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:02,019 I'll loan you the money. 354 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,021 You're about to have a baby. 355 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,013 I can't take your money. 356 00:17:05,015 --> 00:17:07,021 And furthermore, do you have that much? 357 00:17:07,023 --> 00:17:10,001 I have about half that. 358 00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:11,017 What, does no one else shoe shop? 359 00:17:11,019 --> 00:17:13,010 I could loan you the rest. 360 00:17:14,015 --> 00:17:17,005 Look, that is... 361 00:17:17,007 --> 00:17:21,001 really, really sweet of you two to offer-- 362 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,015 It's really, really sweet. 363 00:17:25,017 --> 00:17:26,019 But I'm gonna... 364 00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:28,007 I'm gonna do this on my own. 365 00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:36,009 So I can't tape it back. 366 00:17:37,005 --> 00:17:39,012 -I have news! -Ooh. 367 00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:41,012 It looks like I've gotten a job as a docent 368 00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:44,000 -at the Museum of Modern Art. Hmm. 369 00:17:44,002 --> 00:17:45,019 Well, what does that pay? I can docent. 370 00:17:45,021 --> 00:17:47,013 Oh, it's a volunteer job. 371 00:17:47,015 --> 00:17:50,004 But they're very coveted positions. 372 00:17:50,006 --> 00:17:51,010 Oh. 373 00:17:51,012 --> 00:17:52,020 You come back. 374 00:18:00,019 --> 00:18:02,013 I have no fortune. 375 00:18:02,015 --> 00:18:04,016 I didn't need a cookie to tell me that. 376 00:18:06,023 --> 00:18:09,000 You know, these fans only cost a dollar. 377 00:18:09,002 --> 00:18:12,000 I'm gonna save a lot of money on air conditioning. 378 00:18:16,002 --> 00:18:17,005 Are you okay? 379 00:18:19,011 --> 00:18:21,008 No apartment and no Aidan. 380 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,002 It's been a rough two weeks. 381 00:18:31,017 --> 00:18:33,019 Just give me a block, I'm gonna be fine. 382 00:18:43,013 --> 00:18:45,013 As I thought about leaving the apartment 383 00:18:45,015 --> 00:18:48,005 that I had lived in for the past decade, 384 00:18:48,007 --> 00:18:50,009 I realized how much I would miss it. 385 00:18:50,011 --> 00:18:52,021 Through everything, it had always been there for me. 386 00:18:52,023 --> 00:18:56,021 And suddenly, I was irrationally angry. 387 00:18:56,023 --> 00:18:59,009 And I knew just where and who 388 00:18:59,011 --> 00:19:01,015 to take it irrationally out on. 389 00:19:01,017 --> 00:19:02,021 Hi. 390 00:19:02,023 --> 00:19:04,017 What are you doing here? 391 00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:06,009 I was just in the neighborhood. 392 00:19:07,016 --> 00:19:09,007 Well, come on in. 393 00:19:09,009 --> 00:19:12,002 You want some iced tea or something? 394 00:19:12,004 --> 00:19:15,000 Why didn't you offer me the money? 395 00:19:15,002 --> 00:19:17,020 -I knew you were gonna say that. -I wouldn't take it. 396 00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:20,004 Well then, what does it matter if I offered it or not? 397 00:19:20,006 --> 00:19:21,016 Because... 398 00:19:21,018 --> 00:19:24,000 I would have offered it to you. 399 00:19:24,002 --> 00:19:25,001 You're my friend. 400 00:19:25,003 --> 00:19:27,014 And money and friendship don't mix. 401 00:19:27,016 --> 00:19:30,006 My father and his friend Paul were never the same after-- 402 00:19:30,008 --> 00:19:35,009 We're not talking about your father and his friend Paul. 403 00:19:35,011 --> 00:19:39,000 We're talking about you and your friend, me. 404 00:19:39,002 --> 00:19:41,006 And for the record, I am aware 405 00:19:41,008 --> 00:19:45,002 that I have some financial messiness that I have to clean up. 406 00:19:45,004 --> 00:19:47,001 And to that end, I am looking 407 00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:48,018 into some freelance magazine work. 408 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,017 I've been offered $4.00 a word at Vogue. 409 00:19:50,019 --> 00:19:52,008 That is a lot. 410 00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:54,009 Most people get $2.00. 411 00:19:54,011 --> 00:19:57,005 So yes, I have made some mistakes. 412 00:19:57,007 --> 00:19:58,016 And Charlotte... 413 00:19:58,018 --> 00:20:00,021 you have made some mistakes. 414 00:20:00,023 --> 00:20:02,015 And when you were making those mistakes, 415 00:20:02,017 --> 00:20:05,020 I was sitting across from you at the coffee shop, 416 00:20:05,022 --> 00:20:08,023 nodding, and listening, and supporting you. 417 00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:12,008 I was not sitting at a Chinese restaurant 418 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:16,012 turning away when you should have been looking at me. 419 00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:20,006 And what kills me is you don't even have to work. 420 00:20:20,008 --> 00:20:22,006 You're volunteering. 421 00:20:25,009 --> 00:20:28,000 Carrie, I love you. 422 00:20:29,006 --> 00:20:32,019 But it is not my job to fix your finances. 423 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:36,011 You're a 35-year-old woman. 424 00:20:36,013 --> 00:20:39,010 You need to learn to stand on your own. 425 00:20:39,012 --> 00:20:40,022 Charlotte... 426 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,011 What is that on your finger? 427 00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:49,013 I just wear it when I'm alone in my house. 428 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:51,014 And you're telling me to be more independent? 429 00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:52,020 It's my ring. 430 00:20:52,022 --> 00:20:54,012 I can wear it if I want to. 431 00:20:54,014 --> 00:20:56,022 And so what if it makes me feel better? 432 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,012 And for the record, 433 00:20:58,014 --> 00:21:00,004 the only reason that I am volunteering 434 00:21:00,006 --> 00:21:02,004 is because no one will hire me! 435 00:21:02,006 --> 00:21:04,008 I've called seven galleries. 436 00:21:04,010 --> 00:21:08,003 Apparently, I have too much experience. 437 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,017 You're right. 438 00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:13,014 It's your ring, it's your business. 439 00:21:13,016 --> 00:21:15,011 I just got all worked up on the walk over here. 440 00:21:15,013 --> 00:21:17,011 -You walked? -No. 441 00:21:17,013 --> 00:21:20,015 I took a $5.00 cab ride seven blocks. 442 00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:24,007 These shoes pinch my feet, but I love them. 443 00:21:25,013 --> 00:21:27,016 I am in a financial cul-de-sac. 444 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:30,020 But I'm gonna take the bus. 445 00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:33,006 I just hope I'm not on it. 446 00:21:37,023 --> 00:21:40,014 Meanwhile, in the lap of luxury... 447 00:21:42,023 --> 00:21:45,014 It's okay. I'm Richard's assistant and I'm gay! 448 00:21:45,016 --> 00:21:49,001 Well, "gay," turn around and give a girl a moment. 449 00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:52,001 I'm Roger and you weren't supposed to be here. 450 00:21:52,003 --> 00:21:55,006 Well, Richard left and I decided to take a nice, relaxing bath, 451 00:21:55,008 --> 00:21:56,023 but now that's shot to shit. 452 00:21:58,014 --> 00:22:00,009 Okay, decent. 453 00:22:00,011 --> 00:22:04,016 I am so sorry, but if it's any consolation... 454 00:22:04,018 --> 00:22:05,016 Wow. 455 00:22:05,018 --> 00:22:07,001 Pilates. 456 00:22:07,003 --> 00:22:11,016 So why haven't I seen you around the office? 457 00:22:11,018 --> 00:22:14,002 Uh, he has three assistants. 458 00:22:14,004 --> 00:22:16,006 I run his errands. 459 00:22:16,008 --> 00:22:17,021 Oh, his errands. 460 00:22:19,007 --> 00:22:22,010 Is that an "errand" gift-wrapped on the bed? 461 00:22:22,022 --> 00:22:24,005 Uh... 462 00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:30,000 All right. I'm his personal shopper. 463 00:22:30,002 --> 00:22:31,006 He's a very busy man. 464 00:22:31,008 --> 00:22:33,006 I'll bet. 465 00:22:33,008 --> 00:22:36,021 Exactly how many women are you buying gifts for? 466 00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:38,000 What do you mean? 467 00:22:38,002 --> 00:22:39,017 Roger, honey, you've seen my bush... 468 00:22:39,019 --> 00:22:42,001 We're a little past acting coy. 469 00:22:42,003 --> 00:22:43,021 Since you came into the picture, 470 00:22:43,023 --> 00:22:44,023 a lot less. 471 00:22:45,001 --> 00:22:47,009 And he's never sent me to Chanel before. 472 00:22:47,011 --> 00:22:48,013 That was fun. 473 00:22:48,015 --> 00:22:49,022 Great wallet. 474 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,010 It also came in red, but I couldn't decide-- 475 00:22:51,012 --> 00:22:54,008 So Richard didn't pick out any of these gifts? 476 00:22:54,010 --> 00:22:55,021 Technically, no... 477 00:22:55,023 --> 00:22:58,011 But he really, really likes you. 478 00:22:58,013 --> 00:22:59,009 I could tell. 479 00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:01,001 Yeah, he thinks I'm the "best." 480 00:23:01,018 --> 00:23:02,015 Wait, 481 00:23:02,017 --> 00:23:04,003 the cards. 482 00:23:04,005 --> 00:23:05,007 "Style for style"? 483 00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:06,017 "Sexy for sexy"? 484 00:23:06,019 --> 00:23:07,022 Um... 485 00:23:08,016 --> 00:23:09,021 Me for you. 486 00:23:11,007 --> 00:23:12,020 Please don't have me fired. 487 00:23:12,022 --> 00:23:14,002 I'll tell you what. 488 00:23:14,004 --> 00:23:16,001 I'll pretend you don't exist... 489 00:23:16,003 --> 00:23:16,021 Thank you. 490 00:23:16,023 --> 00:23:19,005 If you do one thing for me. 491 00:23:24,008 --> 00:23:25,020 Oh, Richard! 492 00:23:26,021 --> 00:23:28,007 I thought you'd like it. 493 00:23:28,009 --> 00:23:29,012 Oh, you did? 494 00:23:30,016 --> 00:23:32,009 Oh! Oops. 495 00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:33,023 I forgot the card. 496 00:23:37,010 --> 00:23:39,015 "Gorgeous for gorgeous... 497 00:23:39,017 --> 00:23:42,012 Love, Richard." 498 00:23:52,018 --> 00:23:54,005 I love you, Samantha. 499 00:23:55,014 --> 00:23:56,017 I do. 500 00:23:56,019 --> 00:23:57,019 You do? 501 00:24:01,019 --> 00:24:02,022 And I love... 502 00:24:05,005 --> 00:24:07,004 this. 503 00:24:07,006 --> 00:24:09,013 Samantha could have said, "I love you," 504 00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:12,003 but she was afraid it would cost her too much. 505 00:24:12,005 --> 00:24:14,012 So she did what she did best. 506 00:24:16,013 --> 00:24:17,009 Okay. 507 00:24:17,011 --> 00:24:20,003 So, um, every other Saturday. 508 00:24:20,005 --> 00:24:22,008 And Wednesday at 5:00, you take him. 509 00:24:22,010 --> 00:24:25,002 I was thinking 4:57 would be better. 510 00:24:25,004 --> 00:24:26,009 You think this is stupid? 511 00:24:26,011 --> 00:24:28,012 No, I just was thinking 512 00:24:28,014 --> 00:24:31,001 that, you know, things are gonna get off schedule. 513 00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:34,021 I mean, we're talking about a kid, not a train. 514 00:24:34,023 --> 00:24:36,013 I'd offer to do that for you, 515 00:24:36,015 --> 00:24:39,008 but I don't think that it's in the contract, so... 516 00:24:39,010 --> 00:24:41,003 Don't give me a hard time. 517 00:24:41,005 --> 00:24:43,022 I could fart you into oblivion right now. 518 00:24:47,003 --> 00:24:51,017 Oh! Oh, that feels so great. 519 00:24:52,010 --> 00:24:53,013 Thanks. 520 00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:58,006 Steve, am I ugly? 521 00:24:58,008 --> 00:24:59,012 What? 522 00:25:00,023 --> 00:25:02,009 No. 523 00:25:02,011 --> 00:25:04,000 You got that glow. 524 00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:06,010 But would you want to have sex with me? 525 00:25:06,012 --> 00:25:08,018 What are you talking about? 526 00:25:08,020 --> 00:25:09,022 You're pregnant. 527 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,008 Yeah, and another charming side effect, 528 00:25:13,010 --> 00:25:15,010 aside from flatulence and bloating 529 00:25:15,012 --> 00:25:18,009 is all I can think about is sex. 530 00:25:18,011 --> 00:25:20,011 And who would want to have sex with me? 531 00:25:22,006 --> 00:25:25,012 I'd like to have sex with you, but... 532 00:25:25,014 --> 00:25:28,003 I'm pretty sure that it's not allowed. 533 00:25:28,005 --> 00:25:30,020 I've read section B14 of the contract 534 00:25:30,022 --> 00:25:32,000 and... 535 00:25:33,004 --> 00:25:35,012 it said nothing about sex. 536 00:25:35,014 --> 00:25:37,001 Fuck the contract. 537 00:25:39,002 --> 00:25:40,016 And please fuck me. 538 00:25:47,013 --> 00:25:49,006 -Ouch. -What? 539 00:25:49,008 --> 00:25:50,012 You're squishing me a little bit. 540 00:25:50,014 --> 00:25:51,023 -Sorry. -No. 541 00:25:52,001 --> 00:25:56,019 That night, Steve gave Miranda multiple orgasms. 542 00:25:56,021 --> 00:25:58,002 For what it's worth. 543 00:25:58,004 --> 00:26:00,006 Just to be clear, 544 00:26:00,008 --> 00:26:02,004 this doesn't mean we're a couple. 545 00:26:02,006 --> 00:26:03,018 This is a mercy fuck. 546 00:26:12,020 --> 00:26:14,023 I'm sorry about the other day. 547 00:26:15,001 --> 00:26:17,006 And I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. 548 00:26:17,008 --> 00:26:18,006 You were right. 549 00:26:18,008 --> 00:26:19,008 I haven't wanted to let go 550 00:26:19,010 --> 00:26:20,015 of being Mrs. Trey MacDougal. 551 00:26:20,017 --> 00:26:23,015 Well, I think that you are coping amazingly well. 552 00:26:25,001 --> 00:26:27,000 I'm just scared. 553 00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:28,009 I know. 554 00:26:29,012 --> 00:26:30,017 Me, too. 555 00:26:30,019 --> 00:26:31,019 Wow. 556 00:26:33,002 --> 00:26:34,012 We're alone again. 557 00:26:34,014 --> 00:26:36,000 Yeah. 558 00:26:48,005 --> 00:26:50,004 I want you to take the ring for your down payment. 559 00:26:50,006 --> 00:26:51,007 Oh, no. 560 00:26:51,009 --> 00:26:52,022 No, I can't, I can't. 561 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,000 You love this ring. 562 00:26:54,002 --> 00:26:55,005 No. 563 00:26:55,007 --> 00:26:57,006 I loved what the ring represented. 564 00:26:57,008 --> 00:26:58,014 No, Charlotte, I think you're right. 565 00:26:58,016 --> 00:27:00,005 It would make things too complicated, it's-- 566 00:27:00,007 --> 00:27:03,000 Carrie, this is a straightforward business proposal. 567 00:27:03,002 --> 00:27:04,011 Clean and simple. 568 00:27:04,013 --> 00:27:07,008 Why do I have all this money if I can't help out a friend? 569 00:27:07,010 --> 00:27:08,017 But it would be a loan. 570 00:27:08,019 --> 00:27:09,017 I would pay you back. 571 00:27:09,019 --> 00:27:11,010 I know. 572 00:27:11,012 --> 00:27:15,014 I want you to think really carefully about this. 573 00:27:15,016 --> 00:27:16,020 I have. 574 00:27:16,022 --> 00:27:18,003 Will you be comfortable knowing 575 00:27:18,005 --> 00:27:19,011 that it will take me time 576 00:27:19,013 --> 00:27:20,010 to pay you back? 577 00:27:20,012 --> 00:27:22,002 Yes, I will. 578 00:27:30,022 --> 00:27:33,006 I really appreciate this. 579 00:27:33,008 --> 00:27:35,021 And I'll pay you back, you know that, right? 580 00:27:35,023 --> 00:27:37,005 I do. 581 00:27:37,021 --> 00:27:39,007 It's okay. 582 00:27:39,009 --> 00:27:40,021 I trust you. 583 00:27:40,023 --> 00:27:42,017 Will you take the ring? 584 00:27:44,019 --> 00:27:45,019 I will. 585 00:27:46,014 --> 00:27:48,011 Thank you. 586 00:27:48,013 --> 00:27:51,005 Charlotte had taken her painful past 587 00:27:51,007 --> 00:27:53,016 and turned it into my hopeful future. 588 00:27:53,018 --> 00:27:54,019 And that made the ring... 589 00:27:54,021 --> 00:27:56,004 priceless. 590 00:27:56,006 --> 00:27:57,009 Oh! 591 00:27:57,011 --> 00:27:59,022 I start work at the museum next week. 592 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,006 Ooh, that's great! 593 00:28:01,008 --> 00:28:02,016 Oh, guess what? 594 00:28:02,018 --> 00:28:07,004 I got Vogue up to $4.50 a word. 595 00:28:10,012 --> 00:28:11,020 I fixed the toilet. 596 00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:14,004 And I should be done with this by the end of the afternoon. 597 00:28:14,006 --> 00:28:16,011 Okay, great. Thank you. 598 00:28:19,017 --> 00:28:20,019 It wasn't quite as easy as 599 00:28:20,021 --> 00:28:23,017 clicking my Manolo Blahniks three times. 600 00:28:23,019 --> 00:28:25,017 But it was worth it. 601 00:28:25,019 --> 00:28:27,000 I was home.