1 00:00:56,625 --> 00:00:57,834 [Carrie] Every morning, 2 00:00:57,917 --> 00:01:00,458 millions of New Yorkers leave their crowded apartments 3 00:01:00,542 --> 00:01:02,458 and head out to the even more crowded streets 4 00:01:02,542 --> 00:01:03,792 on their way to work. 5 00:01:03,875 --> 00:01:05,875 Today, I was one of them. 6 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,333 Sometimes a girl just needs a new start. 7 00:01:08,417 --> 00:01:10,333 I had a new do, a new mortgage, 8 00:01:10,417 --> 00:01:12,250 and therefore, a new job. 9 00:01:14,834 --> 00:01:17,041 I had just submitted my first freelance article 10 00:01:17,125 --> 00:01:20,208 for one of the most relevant and provocative magazines 11 00:01:20,291 --> 00:01:24,959 on the newsstands today, at least to me... Vogue, 12 00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:28,750 also known as Mecca, where I belonged. 13 00:01:28,834 --> 00:01:29,959 This isn't Vogue. 14 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:33,250 Oh, you didn't like it? 15 00:01:33,333 --> 00:01:34,875 No, no one is saying that. 16 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:35,917 Well, I am, I'll say it. 17 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,083 I didn't like it, there, I said it. 18 00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:39,709 No, what Enid is trying to say, Carrie, 19 00:01:39,792 --> 00:01:41,667 is that you wrote a wonderful first draft-- 20 00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:43,583 -It isn't Vogue. - [Carrie] There it was, 21 00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:45,875 the article I'd put my heart and soul into. 22 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:47,333 And it was bleeding. 23 00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:49,583 Your spin on the idea, Carrie, is very clever. 24 00:01:49,667 --> 00:01:51,959 Different types of men as the new accessories for fall. 25 00:01:52,041 --> 00:01:54,834 A, uh, Prada-- [laughs] 26 00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:57,709 A Prada dress should always be worn 27 00:01:57,792 --> 00:01:58,792 with an investment banker. 28 00:01:58,875 --> 00:02:00,000 I mean, that's wonderful. 29 00:02:00,083 --> 00:02:03,125 Julian, the assignment was 500 words on accessories, 30 00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:04,375 not men. 31 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:07,000 And I'm not convinced she knows anything about purses, 32 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,583 or for that matter, men. 33 00:02:08,667 --> 00:02:10,333 Enid, for the love of God. 34 00:02:10,417 --> 00:02:11,959 Ms. Bradshaw, what you've handed us here 35 00:02:12,041 --> 00:02:14,834 is essentially just your newspaper column 36 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:18,041 with the word "style" jammed in where the word "sex" used to be. 37 00:02:18,125 --> 00:02:20,792 We're not looking for Vogue according to your agenda. 38 00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:22,375 No one cares about your agenda. 39 00:02:22,458 --> 00:02:24,041 -That's not true. -Oh, forgive me, 40 00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:26,083 I don't care about your agenda. 41 00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:27,542 I care about designers, 42 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:30,583 Oscar de la Renta, Chanel, Dior. 43 00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:33,458 I want less Carrie Bradshaw, 44 00:02:33,542 --> 00:02:36,000 and more "carry" this bag with these shoes, 45 00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:37,125 do you see what I mean? 46 00:02:37,208 --> 00:02:39,000 You're a writer, you should be writing this down. 47 00:02:39,083 --> 00:02:41,959 I was trying to find a way to introduce the bags 48 00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:44,166 and the bracelets with a little humor. 49 00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:46,750 Kind of "men are the new black." 50 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,291 [Julian chuckles] 51 00:02:49,291 --> 00:02:50,750 It was supposed to be funny. 52 00:02:50,834 --> 00:02:52,208 It was supposed to be bags. 53 00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:56,458 Well, I didn't really... 54 00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:58,959 bring a writing... [groans] 55 00:03:00,291 --> 00:03:02,834 Okay, bags. 56 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,417 [Carrie] An hour later, 57 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,375 -Enid had to leave for a lunch date... -[Billie Holiday CD playing] 58 00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:09,041 ...presumably to devour another writer. 59 00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:10,834 [Julian] Don't let Enid get to you. 60 00:03:10,917 --> 00:03:12,166 She just came back from Paris 61 00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,792 and apparently humor and irony are "out" this season. 62 00:03:14,875 --> 00:03:18,250 -[Carrie exhales] -♪ My days can't... ♪ 63 00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:20,625 Billie Holiday... [inhales] 64 00:03:20,709 --> 00:03:21,709 The only woman I could think of 65 00:03:21,792 --> 00:03:23,583 in more pain than you right now. 66 00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:28,041 -Come on, cookie, chin up. -[laughs softly] 67 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,083 In publishing, you need two things, 68 00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:32,291 a tough hide... 69 00:03:33,375 --> 00:03:35,375 and a dry martini. 70 00:03:35,458 --> 00:03:36,709 Martinis in the morning? 71 00:03:36,792 --> 00:03:38,417 Is this allowed? 72 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:39,458 Is it Vogue? 73 00:03:39,542 --> 00:03:41,875 Only in absolute emergencies. 74 00:03:41,959 --> 00:03:43,959 Last time I broke this out was when I heard 75 00:03:44,041 --> 00:03:46,792 that "fun fur" was making a comeback. 76 00:03:46,875 --> 00:03:48,333 [breathy laugh] 77 00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:53,500 Oh, look at this mess... 78 00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:56,083 Why was I even hired? 79 00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:59,041 Well, I'm afraid you have me to blame for that. 80 00:03:59,125 --> 00:04:02,583 My daughter introduced me to your column about a year ago. 81 00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:04,417 I thought you'd be a natural at Vogue. 82 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,417 Well, I guess you thought wrong. 83 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,041 I haven't been wrong yet. 84 00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:09,917 Vogue is all about vision, and you, cookie, 85 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,542 have got vision. 86 00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:13,250 We just have to find a way to hide your vision 87 00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:14,959 from Enid's vision. 88 00:04:15,041 --> 00:04:17,917 A little less you, a little more purse. 89 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,959 -[laughs softly] -[Julian chuckles] C'mon... 90 00:04:21,583 --> 00:04:22,959 Drink. 91 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,333 Cheers. 92 00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:27,291 [music continues playing] 93 00:04:27,375 --> 00:04:29,208 [Carrie] One and a half martinis later... 94 00:04:29,291 --> 00:04:31,000 And the sad thing is... 95 00:04:31,709 --> 00:04:33,333 This is what I do best. 96 00:04:33,417 --> 00:04:34,959 -I mean, look at it! -Cookie, 97 00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:35,917 you're drunk. 98 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,667 Yeah, cookie's drunk. 99 00:04:40,417 --> 00:04:42,208 I'm drunk at Vogue. 100 00:04:42,291 --> 00:04:45,542 How can anyone get so drunk on one and a half martinis? 101 00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:47,667 I didn't eat breakfast and I'm a size two. 102 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,875 Which should make me perfect for Vogue, 103 00:04:49,959 --> 00:04:51,041 but nope. 104 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:54,542 I'm drunk and a failure at Vogue. 105 00:04:54,625 --> 00:04:55,500 I feel awful, 106 00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:56,792 this is my fault. 107 00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:58,417 Aw, Julian... 108 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:00,917 I came in here today so cocky, 109 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,625 I thought I knew it all. 110 00:05:02,709 --> 00:05:07,208 I had my man jokes and my purse puns... 111 00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:10,917 And you heard her, what do I know about purses? 112 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,125 Nothing! 113 00:05:12,208 --> 00:05:14,041 What do I know about men? 114 00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:16,458 Oops. 115 00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:18,792 [music continues playing] 116 00:05:18,875 --> 00:05:20,917 I spilled. 117 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,291 I spilled at Vogue. 118 00:05:22,375 --> 00:05:24,458 Okay, okay, 119 00:05:24,542 --> 00:05:27,959 maybe we better just take you home. 120 00:05:28,041 --> 00:05:29,792 I can't go out there. 121 00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:31,917 I'm drunk... 122 00:05:32,709 --> 00:05:34,875 I'm drunk at Vogue. 123 00:05:37,417 --> 00:05:38,750 Oh. 124 00:05:42,458 --> 00:05:44,625 -[Julian] Right. -[Carrie] Left. 125 00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:46,083 Now look at me... 126 00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:49,000 Pretend I'm saying something fantastic about corsets. 127 00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:51,000 -[Carrie groans] -Excuse me. 128 00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:53,041 Please tell me that wasn't Anna Wintour. 129 00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:54,542 It wasn't, now just... 130 00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:55,834 Left... 131 00:05:55,917 --> 00:05:57,709 [Julian and Carrie] Right, left. 132 00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:00,542 [Carrie] Left. 133 00:06:01,417 --> 00:06:03,250 [Carrie] Left. Oh... 134 00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:05,417 I'm so sorry. 135 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:08,917 [Carrie] That night, at a more appropriate cocktail hour... 136 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,166 Oh, c'mon, there must be something you want for your birthday. 137 00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:15,500 What I want for my birthday is not to celebrate it this year. 138 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,542 Well, what if I want to celebrate it? 139 00:06:17,625 --> 00:06:18,917 Then that would be celebration enough. 140 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,875 Besides, I have everything I need. 141 00:06:20,959 --> 00:06:22,750 It's not about needing something. 142 00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:25,125 It's about wanting something just for fun. 143 00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:28,375 Something decadent, something naughty even. 144 00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:30,041 [Alexa] May I tempt you with dessert? 145 00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:31,875 How is everything this evening, Mr. Wright? 146 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:32,917 Delicious, thank you. 147 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,250 Alexa. 148 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:37,083 I took the liberty of pre-ordering our chocolate souffle 149 00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:38,125 for you and Ms. Jones, 150 00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:39,792 if you're in the mood for something sweet. 151 00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:42,625 Always, thank you for keeping an eye on us. 152 00:06:42,709 --> 00:06:43,875 I couldn't help it. 153 00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:45,709 You're the most attractive couple in the restaurant. 154 00:06:45,792 --> 00:06:47,291 -[Samantha chuckles] -[Richard laughs] 155 00:06:52,166 --> 00:06:54,125 I know what I'd like for my birthday. 156 00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:57,458 An all-night, non-stop championship fuckfest with you. 157 00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,417 Then consider your candles blown. 158 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,667 And Alexa. 159 00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:04,583 [breathy laugh] You asked. 160 00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:06,250 Is a three-way with a 21-year-old 161 00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,250 a bad idea for Richard's birthday? 162 00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:09,875 What are you gonna get him next year, a four-way? 163 00:07:09,959 --> 00:07:11,041 Look, he doesn't want to be monogamous. 164 00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:12,709 So, either cheat with me or without me. 165 00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:14,375 Well, happy birthday to you. 166 00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:15,917 It's not like he asked me to get him a hooker. 167 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,291 These are the options! 168 00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:18,417 It's someone we know, 169 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,750 and at least this way I'm part of the fantasy. 170 00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:23,125 Yeah, the fantasy being that he's attracted 171 00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:25,041 to someone young enough to be his daughter. 172 00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:26,583 He is, Charlotte! That's the problem. 173 00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:28,583 Richard's in his fucking prime. 174 00:07:28,667 --> 00:07:30,291 Men get better looking as they get older 175 00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:31,208 and women get-- 176 00:07:31,291 --> 00:07:32,333 Three-ways apparently. 177 00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:36,875 Or a Marc Jacobs ultra-mod little notebook, huh? 178 00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:40,750 Evidently, I'm recommending it to Vogue shoppers. 179 00:07:40,834 --> 00:07:42,709 Just be careful, Samantha. 180 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:45,458 When a man has a fantasy and you fulfill it, 181 00:07:45,542 --> 00:07:47,959 there's always the chance that the relationship could blow up 182 00:07:48,041 --> 00:07:49,250 and then you're just the idiot 183 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:51,959 who did it with him on the golf course, or something. 184 00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:52,792 Was it you and Trey? 185 00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:55,041 No, no, it's a "for instance." 186 00:07:55,125 --> 00:07:56,291 [Miranda] Sorry I'm late, 187 00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:58,542 I was shopping for a stroller. 188 00:07:58,625 --> 00:07:59,792 I shouldn't even be here. 189 00:07:59,875 --> 00:08:01,834 I should be out doing all the things I'm supposed to do 190 00:08:01,917 --> 00:08:02,917 before the baby comes, 191 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,208 and I'm unable to leave my apartment ever again. 192 00:08:05,291 --> 00:08:07,375 Like what, Ju Jitsu and off-track betting? 193 00:08:07,458 --> 00:08:08,959 Like buying a crib. 194 00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:11,041 -Oh. -Evidently, I'm to go to Crib World, 195 00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:12,792 because it's a whole world of cribs. 196 00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:14,792 I guess Crib City wasn't big enough. 197 00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:17,542 Why isn't there a store called "This Is The Crib For You"? 198 00:08:17,625 --> 00:08:19,041 And they just have one great crib, 199 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:20,500 and they deliver it, and assemble it, 200 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,792 and help you raise your child. 201 00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:23,000 You don't have a crib yet? 202 00:08:23,083 --> 00:08:25,417 No, Charlotte, I have a job instead. 203 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,959 I'm sorry, but when am I supposed to find time 204 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,166 to prepare for this baby? 205 00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:31,709 I don't have a vague idea how I'm gonna do any of this. 206 00:08:31,792 --> 00:08:33,875 Well, I don't have a Vogue idea, so, hello. 207 00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:35,333 Why don't you let ol' one ball help you? 208 00:08:35,417 --> 00:08:36,709 Yeah, I tried that, 209 00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:39,625 and he starts acting all father-figure, and I get territorial, 210 00:08:39,709 --> 00:08:42,291 and the salespeople get confused, and trust me, 211 00:08:42,375 --> 00:08:44,000 it's too complicated for Crib World. 212 00:08:44,083 --> 00:08:47,041 Let me help you. I mean, I know you said you didn't want a baby shower, 213 00:08:47,125 --> 00:08:48,667 but it's not too late to change your mind. 214 00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:50,208 -I hate baby showers. -[Samantha] Ugh... 215 00:08:50,291 --> 00:08:51,041 Who doesn't? 216 00:08:51,125 --> 00:08:52,583 The games, the finger sandwiches, 217 00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:54,500 all that enforced "ooh-ing" and "ah-ing." 218 00:08:54,583 --> 00:08:56,709 I don't "ooh" and "ah," I don't care who's having a baby. 219 00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:58,000 [Charlotte] But think of the gifts. 220 00:08:58,083 --> 00:09:00,333 It would be a great way to get all the stuff you need. 221 00:09:00,417 --> 00:09:01,542 Without having to go to Crib World. 222 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,291 But who would I invite besides you guys? 223 00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:05,333 All the bitches that made you go to theirs. 224 00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:06,709 -Hm. -Well, it's your shower. 225 00:09:06,792 --> 00:09:09,750 And you can invite or not invite whoever you choose. 226 00:09:09,834 --> 00:09:11,709 Would you really want to throw me a baby shower 227 00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:14,542 after all you've been through this year? 228 00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:17,959 Yeah, I think it would be good for me. 229 00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:23,208 Okay, but no cutesy-storky shit. 230 00:09:23,291 --> 00:09:24,208 Just an adult, 231 00:09:24,291 --> 00:09:25,709 dignified lunch with presents. 232 00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:27,959 Which I will open after everyone leaves. 233 00:09:28,041 --> 00:09:29,542 You have to open the presents. 234 00:09:29,625 --> 00:09:33,417 No opening of presents, no games, no crustless bread. 235 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:35,000 And I want fried chicken. 236 00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:37,542 Fried chicken? But it's not Super Bowl Sunday. 237 00:09:37,625 --> 00:09:40,542 It's my shower and I'll fry if I want to. 238 00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:42,250 -[Miranda laughs] -What should we do for our gift? 239 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:45,917 Let's just stick to the registry, three-way. 240 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,792 [Carrie] The next day, Charlotte decided 241 00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:50,083 if she was going to host a baby shower, 242 00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:51,583 she should hide the evidence 243 00:09:51,667 --> 00:09:54,291 that she had wanted one of her own. 244 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:00,667 Later that week, 245 00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:03,750 I had a meal with the perfect dinner accessory... Julian. 246 00:10:03,834 --> 00:10:05,583 So, my wife is a former dancer. 247 00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:07,250 She was with the Martha Graham Company. 248 00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:08,959 And the first time I saw her on stage 249 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,417 I fell in love with her. 250 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:13,250 She pliéd, and I plotzed. 251 00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:14,959 [Carrie and Julian laugh] 252 00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:18,333 It'll be 24 years next September. 253 00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:20,125 So, you got married right out of grade school. 254 00:10:20,208 --> 00:10:24,583 I knew there was something about you that I liked. Mm. 255 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,125 What about your life? 256 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,417 Is there a man in your life? Is it a great love? 257 00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,083 Um... 258 00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:33,875 Nah, I just broke up with somebody. 259 00:10:33,959 --> 00:10:40,041 And yes, it was a great love. 260 00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:43,208 But, he went there. 261 00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:44,458 I went there. 262 00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:45,583 And there you have it. 263 00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:51,208 So, Julian, the reason that I asked you to dinner tonight... 264 00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:52,709 Is because you knew I would pay? 265 00:10:52,792 --> 00:10:53,875 Besides that... 266 00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:57,166 Um, I wanted to tell you that I really appreciate 267 00:10:57,250 --> 00:10:58,917 your interest in my article, 268 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,792 but I've decided not to finish it. 269 00:11:01,875 --> 00:11:03,333 So, what are you gonna do, you're just gonna quit? 270 00:11:03,417 --> 00:11:05,875 No, no, no, I don't let my kids quit. 271 00:11:05,959 --> 00:11:07,125 Well, technically, I'm not one of your kids, 272 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,750 I'm just a girl you get drunk sometimes. 273 00:11:09,834 --> 00:11:11,667 Alright, forget about me... 274 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,792 What would your father say about you quitting? 275 00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:16,208 Well, my father wouldn't have a whole lot to say about quitting. 276 00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:18,250 He quit my mother and me when I was little. 277 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:19,917 I'm sorry. 278 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,667 Oh, thanks, no, I mean, a long time ago, 279 00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:23,792 -I was five. -Why'd he leave? 280 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,750 No idea, never said. 281 00:11:27,834 --> 00:11:30,542 And that's the name of that tune. 282 00:11:30,625 --> 00:11:32,625 Hmm... 283 00:11:34,875 --> 00:11:38,375 -What? -No, no, it's interesting. 284 00:11:38,458 --> 00:11:40,000 Your father leaves without any answers, 285 00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:42,250 and you spend your life asking questions about men. 286 00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:47,542 Well, it's 20 years of analysis, forgive me? 287 00:11:47,625 --> 00:11:49,125 -Yes. -Okay, Vogue. 288 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,083 Vogue? 289 00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:51,208 What if I could fix it 290 00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:52,375 so that you only deal with me 291 00:11:52,458 --> 00:11:54,208 and Enid spends less time hating your writing 292 00:11:54,291 --> 00:11:56,250 and more time hating Tom Ford's line, hmm? 293 00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:58,333 [sighs] Julian... 294 00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,667 Oh, come on, cookie, you're no quitter 295 00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:02,125 and we get to work on this together, 296 00:12:02,208 --> 00:12:03,875 what do ya say? 297 00:12:03,959 --> 00:12:05,625 Why are you being so sweet? 298 00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:07,291 Martini guilt. 299 00:12:07,375 --> 00:12:08,750 [Carrie laughs] 300 00:12:08,834 --> 00:12:12,542 [Carrie] Later that night, I got to thinking about fathers, 301 00:12:12,625 --> 00:12:14,709 or the lack of them. Some say 302 00:12:14,792 --> 00:12:16,542 a daughter's relationship with her father 303 00:12:16,625 --> 00:12:20,083 is the model for all her subsequent relationships with men. 304 00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:21,500 Is that just "pop" psychology, 305 00:12:21,583 --> 00:12:23,834 or is there some truth to it? 306 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:26,208 And if you were given a less than perfect model, 307 00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:29,208 does it mean a life of less than perfect relationships? 308 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,083 I couldn't help but wonder... 309 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:34,750 How much does a father-figure figure? 310 00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:37,083 Gentlemen, I understand your concern, 311 00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:39,250 but I'm looking at the contract right now-- 312 00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:40,750 [beeping] 313 00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:43,542 I'm sorry, could you hold for a moment? 314 00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:45,458 I'm on a conference call here. 315 00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:48,333 [woman] Charlotte York says it's an emergency. 316 00:12:48,417 --> 00:12:50,417 [sighs] 317 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:51,959 Charlotte, what's wrong, are you okay? 318 00:12:52,041 --> 00:12:54,250 I'm fine, I'm just looking over your registry 319 00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:55,959 and there are some things you forgot to include. 320 00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:57,166 Like a Manhattan Whozit. 321 00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:58,834 -A what? -It's a learning toy. 322 00:12:58,917 --> 00:13:00,583 Active toys make for passive children. 323 00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:02,125 There's a whole philosophy behind it. 324 00:13:02,208 --> 00:13:03,375 I don't have time for philosophy. 325 00:13:03,458 --> 00:13:05,709 I'm on a conference call with our London Office. 326 00:13:05,792 --> 00:13:07,500 What about a Peek-A-Ball? Peek-A-Ball! 327 00:13:07,583 --> 00:13:08,709 Peek-A-Ball, Miranda! 328 00:13:08,792 --> 00:13:10,333 Jesus, Charlotte, I have to get back. 329 00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:11,375 Just one more quick thing. 330 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,709 I know you said no storks, 331 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,959 but I saw the most gorgeous centerpiece in the shape of a-- 332 00:13:15,041 --> 00:13:15,917 I'm at work! 333 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,458 Well, we have to order it by noon. 334 00:13:17,542 --> 00:13:20,542 Now, its feathers are white Fiji mums... 335 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:21,625 What did I say? 336 00:13:21,709 --> 00:13:23,041 No storks, but these people are giving you 337 00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:25,959 expensive gifts and they're gonna want to see a little baby. 338 00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:29,125 No storks, no present opening, no cutesy baby stuff. 339 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,125 We agreed! 340 00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:31,625 What about a marzipan baby carriage? 341 00:13:31,709 --> 00:13:34,875 -Charlotte! -It has a white chocolate peanut butter baby inside 342 00:13:34,959 --> 00:13:36,542 and you can eat the baby. 343 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:41,625 Miranda? Miranda! 344 00:13:41,709 --> 00:13:42,792 [Carrie] The next day, 345 00:13:42,875 --> 00:13:46,542 Samantha made a conference call of her own. 346 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:47,792 Ms. Jones, welcome. 347 00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:49,625 Will Mr. Wright be joining you for lunch? 348 00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:50,625 No, actually, 349 00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:52,959 it's Richard's birthday this weekend, 350 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:56,333 and I'm trying to put together a little celebration for him. 351 00:13:56,417 --> 00:13:58,959 Certainly, would you like to reserve one of our banquet rooms or-- 352 00:13:59,041 --> 00:14:01,000 Oh, that won't be necessary. 353 00:14:01,083 --> 00:14:03,041 It's a very small party, 354 00:14:03,125 --> 00:14:04,166 a very small, 355 00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:06,500 private party... of three. 356 00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:08,208 Just Richard, 357 00:14:08,291 --> 00:14:10,250 myself, and a third... 358 00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,041 If you have any openings. 359 00:14:13,125 --> 00:14:15,208 [inhales] I'm wide open. 360 00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:17,083 Lucky me. [laughs] 361 00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:20,166 [Carrie] And now that Charlotte's house was ready for the baby shower, 362 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,417 she wanted to make sure Miranda's house 363 00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:23,500 was ready for the baby. 364 00:14:23,583 --> 00:14:26,834 So, the bassinet can go over here, by the bed. 365 00:14:26,917 --> 00:14:28,250 -Uh-huh. -So, when you have to 366 00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:29,500 get up for feedings, he's right there. See? 367 00:14:29,583 --> 00:14:30,625 -Yeah. -Unless you're 368 00:14:30,709 --> 00:14:32,750 planning to have him sleep in the bed with you. 369 00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:35,250 -Can't I go to jail for that? -No, 370 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,083 in fact, many cultures believe that it's safer 371 00:14:37,166 --> 00:14:38,959 for the baby's breathing. 372 00:14:39,041 --> 00:14:40,917 Although you do run the risk of rolling over 373 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,166 and smooshing him in your sleep. But that almost never happens. 374 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,250 But, almost isn't never, 375 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:45,792 so, if you want to err on the side of safety-- 376 00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:48,375 Um, I'll just put him in the thing. 377 00:14:48,458 --> 00:14:49,709 -The bassinet. -Yeah. 378 00:14:49,792 --> 00:14:51,166 -Great! -[laughs] 379 00:14:51,250 --> 00:14:55,208 And then when he's big enough, you can put the crib here. 380 00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:56,542 Is that what you were thinking? 381 00:14:56,625 --> 00:14:58,542 Oh, I hadn't thought about that yet. 382 00:14:58,625 --> 00:14:59,500 Well, you need to start 383 00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:00,542 thinking about these things, 384 00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:02,333 'cause there are a million questions to answer 385 00:15:02,417 --> 00:15:04,041 before the baby ever gets here. 386 00:15:04,125 --> 00:15:05,291 Do you have a birthing plan? 387 00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:07,333 Do you know what kind of a mother you want to be? 388 00:15:07,417 --> 00:15:10,500 Yes, I plan to be a... good mother! 389 00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:13,417 But a marsupial mom or a stroller mom? 390 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,875 Will you be breast-feeding or bottle-feeding? 391 00:15:15,959 --> 00:15:17,583 And what about baby-proofing? 392 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,166 'Cause with all the sharp edges around here, 393 00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,500 I mean, this place is a deathtrap. 394 00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:24,959 Okay, you need to back off. 395 00:15:25,041 --> 00:15:26,000 I'm just trying to help. 396 00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:27,417 This is your idea of helping? 397 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,750 Pointing out all the things I do badly? 398 00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:30,917 I'm not pointing out-- 399 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,166 Yes, you are. 400 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,125 You need to try to let other people in a little, 401 00:15:37,208 --> 00:15:38,709 because once you have that baby, 402 00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:40,041 it's not just you anymore. 403 00:15:40,125 --> 00:15:42,709 You're not gonna be able to control everything. 404 00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:45,333 Look, I just want to enjoy the fried chicken 405 00:15:45,417 --> 00:15:46,667 and be done with it. 406 00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:48,250 Oh, um... 407 00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:51,000 Well, I had to re-think the fried chicken. 408 00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,083 'Cause you're the only one who wanted all that breading, 409 00:15:53,166 --> 00:15:55,083 so instead, we're having mesclun greens 410 00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:57,250 and a lovely puttanesca. 411 00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:59,417 With a Fiji mum centerpiece. 412 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,458 A Fiji mum stork centerpiece? 413 00:16:01,542 --> 00:16:03,375 One stork, I think you can deal with one stork. 414 00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:05,000 Two storks, I saw the invitation. 415 00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:06,291 There's a stork on the invitation. 416 00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,458 That's not a stork, that is a duck. 417 00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:11,709 And that duck is smoking an "it's a boy" cigar. 418 00:16:11,792 --> 00:16:12,834 That duck's not for children. 419 00:16:12,917 --> 00:16:15,000 That duck is fucked, this whole shower is fucked! 420 00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:17,166 You can't have a shower without some baby stuff. 421 00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:19,667 You keep this up, you're gonna have a shower without a mommy! 422 00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:21,750 -Fine! -Fine! 423 00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:25,625 Miranda, you better show up! 424 00:16:25,709 --> 00:16:28,000 I am not getting stuck with a bunch of lawyers, 425 00:16:28,083 --> 00:16:29,375 who, if they're anything like you, 426 00:16:29,458 --> 00:16:32,125 won't even appreciate a beautiful puttanesca! 427 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:35,000 Watch out for the sharp edges! 428 00:16:37,959 --> 00:16:39,959 Thanks for coming down and talking. 429 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,208 Well, I really didn't have a choice. 430 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,542 You couldn't make it up the stairs. 431 00:16:42,625 --> 00:16:44,250 [Miranda groans] 432 00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:45,417 -There. -[groans] 433 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:46,417 You feel better? 434 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,041 The back, yes, the other stuff, no. 435 00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:50,834 I'm gonna be a terrible mother. 436 00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:52,667 -Miranda... -I am. 437 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,959 I have no maternal instincts, no patience. 438 00:16:55,041 --> 00:16:56,667 The way I yelled at Charlotte. 439 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,750 She was just trying to point out what needed to be child-proofed. 440 00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:03,041 -Oh, my God. -What? 441 00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:05,458 I'm what needs to be child-proofed. 442 00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:07,834 You want to quit? 443 00:17:07,917 --> 00:17:09,625 Come on, I'll quit the magazine, you quit the baby. 444 00:17:09,709 --> 00:17:13,792 We'll be two quitters, we'll live happily ever after. 445 00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:15,166 Can I tell you a secret? 446 00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:17,333 You're not really pregnant, it's water weight? 447 00:17:17,417 --> 00:17:19,500 I dropped my niece on her head. 448 00:17:19,583 --> 00:17:23,000 I was babysitting when I was 13 and I got bored. 449 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,458 I got bored, Carrie! 450 00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:27,542 I was doing my homework, she slid down the couch. 451 00:17:27,625 --> 00:17:28,667 Two stitches. 452 00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:31,375 Get off my stoop. 453 00:17:31,458 --> 00:17:34,625 [laughing] How is this kid ever gonna make it? 454 00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:37,208 A type-A mother who works 50 hours a week 455 00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:38,583 and no father figure. 456 00:17:38,667 --> 00:17:40,709 He has a father figure. 457 00:17:40,792 --> 00:17:41,834 Steve. 458 00:17:41,917 --> 00:17:42,959 I meant you. 459 00:17:43,041 --> 00:17:44,959 [laughs] Oh, really? 460 00:17:45,041 --> 00:17:47,417 -Yeah. -I do like those Yankees. 461 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,834 [couple chatting] 462 00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:55,375 Second date, dinner and a movie. 463 00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:57,000 Yeah, I hate them. 464 00:17:59,041 --> 00:18:00,458 Hey... 465 00:18:00,542 --> 00:18:02,875 Do you think it really can be as simple as my father walked out, 466 00:18:02,959 --> 00:18:06,083 therefore, I'll always be messed up about men? 467 00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:08,834 My father came home every night at seven on the dot, 468 00:18:08,917 --> 00:18:10,583 and I have no clue about men either. 469 00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:12,375 -So, it's a crapshoot. -Mm. 470 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:15,667 Do I have to go to my own baby shower? 471 00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:18,333 I RSVP'd to a duck with a cigar. 472 00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:19,917 -All right. -You're going. 473 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,083 Okay, it's late, I gotta catch a cab. 474 00:18:22,166 --> 00:18:23,750 Wait, let me get you a forklift. 475 00:18:23,834 --> 00:18:25,041 [Miranda laughs] 476 00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:28,667 -Are you ready? -Yeah, okay. 477 00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:31,458 Go, go, go, go. Here you go. 478 00:18:32,417 --> 00:18:33,917 -Thank you. -You did good. 479 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,417 -You, too. -[Carrie giggles] 480 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:36,500 [Carrie] The next day, 481 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,750 Miranda decided not to duck her own shower. 482 00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:40,125 Hey, you showed up. 483 00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:42,875 Yeah, yeah, bring on the ladies in hats 484 00:18:42,959 --> 00:18:45,250 and let's get this over with. 485 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,792 Where'd you put all the storks? 486 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,750 Well, you said you didn't want any storks. 487 00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:50,458 Yeah, I know, but-- 488 00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:55,917 [gasping] Charlotte, what did you do? 489 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,834 -Well, it's your shower. -[gasping] 490 00:18:57,917 --> 00:18:59,583 -[doorbell rings] -Oh, can you get that? 491 00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:01,083 'Cause I have to get the rest of the sandwiches. 492 00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:03,959 Which have all of their crusts, nothing cute. 493 00:19:04,041 --> 00:19:06,625 No ridiculous over-the-top baby stuff allowed. 494 00:19:06,709 --> 00:19:08,000 Oh! 495 00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:11,291 -Hey, mama! -Why are you opening the door? 496 00:19:11,375 --> 00:19:12,959 Aren't you supposed to be sitting on a lily pad 497 00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:14,208 being worshipped? 498 00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:15,834 What is that? 499 00:19:15,917 --> 00:19:19,250 It's a four-tiered baby cake made entirely of diapers. 500 00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:20,458 I baked it myself. 501 00:19:20,542 --> 00:19:21,834 We ordered it online. 502 00:19:21,917 --> 00:19:23,166 What am I supposed to do with it? 503 00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:25,166 How the hell should we know, didn't you want one? 504 00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:27,125 -No. -Well, we're not taking it back. 505 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,875 We've already been seen carrying it down Park Avenue. 506 00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:31,834 -Huh. -Definitely not Vogue. 507 00:19:31,917 --> 00:19:34,083 Charlotte said it was the shower gift. 508 00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:37,417 See, I told you we should've gotten a massage certificate. 509 00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:41,125 [Carrie] One hour, two platters of chicken, and 13 lawyers later, 510 00:19:41,208 --> 00:19:43,250 all talk had turned to babies. 511 00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:44,542 Well, almost all. 512 00:19:44,625 --> 00:19:47,291 She may be 21, but I have 21 years of experience. 513 00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:49,083 I can fuck her under the table. 514 00:19:49,166 --> 00:19:50,375 Well, that's good to know, 515 00:19:50,458 --> 00:19:52,500 because in a three-way situation, it could come to that. 516 00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:54,625 Honey, I have tricks she hasn't even seen. 517 00:19:54,709 --> 00:19:56,166 And those tricks aren't for kids. 518 00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,709 And no matter what happens, she's just renting him. 519 00:19:58,792 --> 00:19:59,625 I own. 520 00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:00,583 Exactly. 521 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,208 Although, I don't really own. 522 00:20:03,291 --> 00:20:05,166 So, it's more of an illegal sublet type of thing? 523 00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:07,333 -Yeah. -Wow. [giggles] 524 00:20:07,417 --> 00:20:11,667 [guests "ooh-ing" and laughing] 525 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:12,875 It's a breast pump. 526 00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:14,333 -Oh! -[woman] Well, 527 00:20:14,417 --> 00:20:17,625 you know, I didn't want you coming to my office to borrow mine. 528 00:20:17,709 --> 00:20:19,000 [laughter] 529 00:20:19,083 --> 00:20:21,542 You know what, I have to pee. 530 00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:23,583 Oh, no, no, wait, wait, here. 531 00:20:23,667 --> 00:20:25,625 -You take Charles. -Oh. 532 00:20:25,709 --> 00:20:27,125 Have fun, Mom. 533 00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:28,542 -[Miranda] Okay. -[murmurs] 534 00:20:28,625 --> 00:20:30,917 Alright, keep 'em coming, ladies! 535 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,542 -Let's keep the presents comin'! -[baby crying] 536 00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:34,375 -Miranda! -Yeah? 537 00:20:34,458 --> 00:20:35,834 Nothing. 538 00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:39,500 [Charlotte] Something tells me this one's Tiffany. 539 00:20:39,583 --> 00:20:41,291 -[women] Ooh... -That's from me. 540 00:20:41,375 --> 00:20:42,417 [all gasping] 541 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,041 Oh... 542 00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:46,792 -That is elegant. -Oh, my God. 543 00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:48,875 That's exactly like the rattle Trey gave me 544 00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:52,500 when we first-- [crying] 545 00:20:52,583 --> 00:20:53,667 You okay? 546 00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:55,291 I'm fine, I'm fine. 547 00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:57,291 I'm sorry, everybody. 548 00:20:58,166 --> 00:21:02,083 Excuse me. [crying] 549 00:21:02,166 --> 00:21:04,250 [women murmuring] 550 00:21:04,333 --> 00:21:05,834 What did I do? 551 00:21:10,083 --> 00:21:11,083 Charlotte? 552 00:21:11,166 --> 00:21:13,709 I just need to be alone right now. 553 00:21:14,375 --> 00:21:15,959 Okay. 554 00:21:16,750 --> 00:21:19,250 Except, you know, 555 00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:22,166 you got 20 people in the other room. 556 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,125 I'm sorry I ruined your shower. 557 00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:36,333 You didn't. 558 00:21:36,417 --> 00:21:38,083 And there wouldn't even be a shower to ruin 559 00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:40,375 if it weren't for you. 560 00:21:41,875 --> 00:21:45,083 Look, I know this is hard. 561 00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:48,250 And I really appreciate you trying to be okay 562 00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:50,166 with me having this baby. 563 00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:54,291 Because I need you. [laughs] 564 00:21:54,375 --> 00:21:55,458 I mean, let's face it, 565 00:21:55,542 --> 00:21:58,375 you're the only person in my life who... 566 00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:02,625 knows how important it is to have a cake 567 00:22:02,709 --> 00:22:04,750 made entirely out of diapers. 568 00:22:04,834 --> 00:22:06,542 [laughing and sniffling] 569 00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:08,625 There's lotion in there, too. 570 00:22:08,709 --> 00:22:10,500 Oh, yeah? 571 00:22:12,041 --> 00:22:16,750 And baby bottles. And a receiving blanket. 572 00:22:18,291 --> 00:22:19,792 See? 573 00:22:21,291 --> 00:22:24,250 I would never have known that. 574 00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:26,250 You would've figured it out. 575 00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:29,000 [Carrie] And just like that, Miranda realized, 576 00:22:29,083 --> 00:22:31,500 she might be a good mother figure as well. 577 00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:33,875 [knocking] 578 00:22:35,166 --> 00:22:37,166 Ah, hello? 579 00:22:37,250 --> 00:22:40,250 Somebody better go check on mommy in the guest bath, 580 00:22:40,333 --> 00:22:43,333 because little Fitz here has wet himself. 581 00:22:43,417 --> 00:22:45,709 -And myself, I might add. -Oh... 582 00:22:45,792 --> 00:22:48,625 Well, I happen to have four tiers of diapers. 583 00:22:48,709 --> 00:22:49,709 -Oh, good. -Ladies, 584 00:22:49,792 --> 00:22:51,542 can we cut the cake and get out of here? 585 00:22:51,625 --> 00:22:53,125 I have a three-way to go to. 586 00:22:53,208 --> 00:22:55,041 -Yeah. -[baby coos] 587 00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:56,208 That's my earring. 588 00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:58,500 [Carrie] That night, at the birthday three-way, 589 00:22:58,583 --> 00:23:00,875 Samantha made sure it happened her way. 590 00:23:00,959 --> 00:23:02,917 Just so we're clear. 591 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,875 Tonight is just about sex, not love. 592 00:23:06,959 --> 00:23:09,542 So, there will be no kissing on the mouth. 593 00:23:09,625 --> 00:23:13,166 Richard's lips are off-limits to anyone but me. 594 00:23:13,250 --> 00:23:14,500 What if he kisses me? 595 00:23:14,583 --> 00:23:15,583 [champagne cork pops] 596 00:23:15,667 --> 00:23:16,834 Who's up for champagne? 597 00:23:16,917 --> 00:23:19,458 I'm up for anything. 598 00:23:26,375 --> 00:23:29,250 [moaning] 599 00:23:33,959 --> 00:23:35,250 Hey! 600 00:23:35,333 --> 00:23:39,709 Easy, Sam, there's more than enough of me to go around. 601 00:23:39,792 --> 00:23:41,083 You tell her, daddy. 602 00:23:41,166 --> 00:23:44,000 [Carrie] The one thing Richard didn't want for his birthday 603 00:23:44,083 --> 00:23:45,625 was to feel older. 604 00:23:45,709 --> 00:23:47,166 Get rid of her. 605 00:23:47,250 --> 00:23:48,250 I'm on it. 606 00:23:48,333 --> 00:23:49,625 Ooh! 607 00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:51,834 Hey! 608 00:23:51,917 --> 00:23:55,166 [Carrie] It was time for the fledgling to leave the love-nest. 609 00:23:57,709 --> 00:24:00,333 Anything else you want for your birthday? 610 00:24:01,458 --> 00:24:03,834 Nah, this is great. 611 00:24:03,917 --> 00:24:05,959 Just you and me. 612 00:24:08,208 --> 00:24:10,333 What about my three-way? 613 00:24:10,417 --> 00:24:13,333 I have a busboy arriving at midnight. 614 00:24:14,291 --> 00:24:15,333 [sighs] 615 00:24:15,417 --> 00:24:18,500 Seriously, let's try this. 616 00:24:18,583 --> 00:24:20,917 Just you and me, 617 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,041 nobody else. 618 00:24:23,709 --> 00:24:27,458 Oh, okay. 619 00:24:27,542 --> 00:24:30,125 [Carrie] By giving Richard what he thought he wanted, 620 00:24:30,208 --> 00:24:33,291 Samantha finally got what she needed... 621 00:24:33,375 --> 00:24:35,041 Monogamy. 622 00:24:35,125 --> 00:24:37,458 The following night, with a little after-hours help 623 00:24:37,542 --> 00:24:38,875 from my favorite editor... 624 00:24:38,959 --> 00:24:40,792 I finished the impossible, 625 00:24:40,875 --> 00:24:42,125 my first Vogue piece. 626 00:24:42,208 --> 00:24:45,709 And now, my favorite part of the writing process... 627 00:24:46,542 --> 00:24:47,792 Print. 628 00:24:47,875 --> 00:24:49,959 Congratulations, cookie. 629 00:24:50,041 --> 00:24:51,291 500 beautifully written words, 630 00:24:51,375 --> 00:24:54,542 and some of them even include the Carrie Bradshaw agenda, 631 00:24:54,625 --> 00:24:56,000 cleverly hidden, of course. 632 00:24:56,083 --> 00:24:58,458 It's a literary Where's Waldo? 633 00:24:58,542 --> 00:24:59,750 When I finish a new piece, 634 00:24:59,834 --> 00:25:03,166 I usually celebrate by opening a bottle of Chateau Latour. 635 00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:04,333 How do you celebrate? 636 00:25:04,417 --> 00:25:07,166 By buying shoes and purses. 637 00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:11,291 Well, in that case... Have you ever heard of the Vogue accessories closet? 638 00:25:16,542 --> 00:25:17,959 [Carrie] Oh, my God! 639 00:25:19,250 --> 00:25:21,000 It's too good. 640 00:25:21,083 --> 00:25:25,667 I'm sorry, but it's, oh, it's too good. 641 00:25:25,750 --> 00:25:28,166 Just like a kid in a couture candy store. 642 00:25:28,250 --> 00:25:30,667 This is too much. 643 00:25:30,750 --> 00:25:32,375 How can this be? 644 00:25:32,458 --> 00:25:35,458 Well, designers send us things, and we photograph them. 645 00:25:37,583 --> 00:25:38,667 Oh, my God! 646 00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:39,667 Shh, Carrie! 647 00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:41,667 Do you-- Do you know what these are? 648 00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:43,417 We're not even supposed to be in here. 649 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:46,917 Manolo Blahnik Mary Janes. 650 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,417 I thought these were an urban shoe myth. 651 00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:50,834 Now, if you'll excuse me. 652 00:25:50,917 --> 00:25:53,500 I'll be pillaging the men's side. 653 00:25:53,583 --> 00:25:56,125 Okay, oh, my God! 654 00:25:56,208 --> 00:25:59,542 These are authentic patent leather. 655 00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:01,208 And if they don't fit, 656 00:26:01,291 --> 00:26:04,166 so help me, I'm gonna wear them anyway. 657 00:26:04,250 --> 00:26:08,291 Oh... Wow. Well, they-- 658 00:26:08,375 --> 00:26:10,375 -They almost fit. -[Julian] Carrie? 659 00:26:10,458 --> 00:26:11,875 -Yeah? -Tell me what you think 660 00:26:11,959 --> 00:26:13,458 about these Versaces. 661 00:26:13,542 --> 00:26:15,625 Okay, alright. 662 00:26:17,834 --> 00:26:19,291 Oh. 663 00:26:20,458 --> 00:26:22,041 [gasping] Oh! 664 00:26:22,125 --> 00:26:24,125 -What do you think? -Oh, my... 665 00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:26,375 Wha-- What are you doing? 666 00:26:26,458 --> 00:26:27,875 I'm just showing you these briefs. 667 00:26:27,959 --> 00:26:30,792 [laughing] Well, don't! 668 00:26:30,875 --> 00:26:32,417 Julian, pull your pants up. 669 00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:35,375 Oof! Look at you in those Mary Janes... 670 00:26:35,458 --> 00:26:36,917 Stop! 671 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,917 What happened to your wife, the dancer? 672 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,083 She's having an affair with our friend, the chiropractor. 673 00:26:42,166 --> 00:26:43,208 Oh... 674 00:26:43,291 --> 00:26:45,083 -Carrie? -Wha-- Uh... What? 675 00:26:45,166 --> 00:26:46,417 I find you adorable. 676 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,166 You're old enough to be my father. 677 00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:51,083 Hardly, would your father wear Versaces? 678 00:26:51,166 --> 00:26:52,917 Pull your pants up now. 679 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,542 Alright, but, cookie, as someone who really cares about you, let me just say, 680 00:26:56,625 --> 00:26:58,875 I think you have some serious issues with men. 681 00:26:58,959 --> 00:27:00,458 I do right now, yes. 682 00:27:00,542 --> 00:27:02,500 An older man can help you work through 683 00:27:02,583 --> 00:27:04,750 some of those father issues, cookie. 684 00:27:04,834 --> 00:27:07,083 Okay, don't "cookie" me, Freud. 685 00:27:07,166 --> 00:27:08,625 Pants up! 686 00:27:08,709 --> 00:27:10,208 Show some respect... 687 00:27:10,291 --> 00:27:11,458 This is Vogue. 688 00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:14,375 [Carrie] Turns out Julian had an agenda as well, 689 00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:17,500 but it was cleverly hidden, of course. 690 00:27:17,583 --> 00:27:20,834 From then on, once a month, when I went to Vogue, 691 00:27:20,917 --> 00:27:23,625 I thought it best to work exclusively with Enid. 692 00:27:23,709 --> 00:27:25,458 Alright, this new piece shows improvement, 693 00:27:25,542 --> 00:27:27,333 but still positively reeks of you. 694 00:27:27,417 --> 00:27:30,875 This magazine doesn't care what Carrie Bradshaw has to say about shoes. 695 00:27:30,959 --> 00:27:33,458 What does Carrie Bradshaw know about shoes? 696 00:27:33,542 --> 00:27:36,083 Enid, with all due respect... 697 00:27:36,166 --> 00:27:38,709 Men, I may not know... 698 00:27:38,792 --> 00:27:40,625 But shoes? 699 00:27:40,709 --> 00:27:42,875 Shoes, I know! 700 00:27:44,291 --> 00:27:47,792 [chuckling] I'm walking. 701 00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:49,250 Oh, I'm walking. 702 00:27:49,333 --> 00:27:52,208 [Carrie] I admit, it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss, 703 00:27:52,291 --> 00:27:55,083 or the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. 704 00:27:55,166 --> 00:27:57,166 But maybe the best any of us can do 705 00:27:57,250 --> 00:27:58,417 is not quit, 706 00:27:58,500 --> 00:27:59,917 play the hand we've been given, 707 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,250 and accessorize the outfit we've got.