Bye, Mr. B. Have a good break.
You too.
Let's go. We said 3:10.
Yeah, sorry. Two of my last-period kids get extra time.
Then they were trying to teach me this cool handshake.
Yeah, no, I just…
-I really wanna get there before dark. -Yeah.
Eight Munchkins? Vacation has officially started.
Text Danny and Claude.
Texting Danny and Claude.
What would you like to say?
Rolling. ETA, 4:31.
Please be ready. No bullshit.
Okay. You said, "Rolling. ETA, 4:31. Please be ready. No bullshit."
-Send it? -Send.
You have a response from Danny.
-Should I read it? -Yes.
Danny says, "You are not the fucking boss of me, Katherine."
"My husband and I will emerge only when the magic hour light is perfect."
Okay.
Ciao!
Ciao, bella. Yes, thank you.
I'm so sorry, guys. I wanted to water the plants.
I couldn't find the thing, and then the dishwasher. Anyway…
Hey. Hi, Claude.
Take me in.
Really try to see that I'm worth waiting for.
Yes, stunning. Tens across the board.
Now get in the car!
Danny!
Tell me when you're buckled. Everybody buckled?
-I'm buckled. -Let's go!
-Buckled! -And she is on her way!
Text Nick and Anne.
Texting Nick and Anne. What would you like it to say?
We hit traffic leaving the city.
New ETA, 8:19.
-You might wanna go ahead and order food. -No, I'm cooking.
-Tonight? -Yeah.
I'm doing a low country boil. I bought everything. Crawfish, corn.
Crawfish? No, I think that word is pronounced "pizza."
Oh! Oh! We've got jokes. Drive, Katherine.
Twenty years I've been asking Nick and Anne to put a light on this road.
I'm always worried I'm gonna hit a deer or something.
This is right, though. Their driveway is right up here.
You have a message from Nick Pagano.
-Should I play it? -Sure.
Nick said, "Drive carefully near the lake. Lots of creatures in the road."
What?
Hey, put your brights on, honey.
-Oh my God! -Crap!
Mamma mia.
Oh my God!
What is wrong with you?
You're just so late. We started drinking.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I love you. I love you all.
-Come on. Let's go. -I'm gonna kill you!
I peed a little.
-One of you is gonna die! -Oh, yeah.
Whoo!
Nick, I need you to go through these and pick out the dead ones.
You are shitting me.
Nope, not at all.
Hey, should I do a gazpacho to start?
-No, we're starving. -I'll kill you!
Hey, hey.
When is this dinner gonna be ready?
Danny just set a cornbread timer for 45 minutes.
No. No, I'm not gonna make it.
Between my hunger and Claude telling me about a dream he had two years ago…
-I mean, you know I love Claude. -Yeah, we all love Claude.
But you said you would be a little buffer.
Look, I will take him at dinner.
I mean, that's why I got him that really long Napoleon biography for his birthday,
so I always have something to talk to him about.
Very smart. That's why I love you.
-You're a smart person. -Thank you.
Hey.
What are we whispering about?
How drunk are you right now?
I'm at the good part where I think I'm at my funniest,
and you think I'm starting to get a little annoying.
Yes, thank you.
Yeah. Oh!
Oh, God!
Thanks.
You knew I'd eat that.
-Here we go! -Ta-da!
Here's your crawdaddies from New Orleans.
Come on, now. Look at that.
-Oh, do you mind if I sit next to Claude? -Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I'd love that. Thank you.
Okay.
So, uh, Claude, how far have you gotten in that Napoleon book?
Oh, well, he's just been born.
Wow, wow, wow.
Yes, get in there.
Now, remember, just pull the heads off first and suck.
That's perfect.
Mm.
The suck water is spicy.
All right.
Okay, I'd like to make a toast
to Nick and Anne on their 25th.
You guys are an inspiration.
You've built this beautiful life together, and I hope you know how lucky you are.
So many other people have split up or-- Or hate each other,
or they've become those couples
where their whole personality is just making craft beer.
Ugh! Fuck. Fuck them.
Look, it is rare in this life to find your soulmate,
and yet somehow,
all six of us have done it.
To Nick and Anne.
-Cheers. -To Nick and Anne. Cheers.
-Thank you. -So nicely said, honey.
Even though soulmates aren't a real thing.
Wait, how can you say that?
Of course soulmates are real.
You really believe there is one person, for every person on Earth,
there's one person in the whole Earth that they're supposed to be with,
and then that person also happens to be in the same dorm at college?
So do you not love me?
I love you so much, but we're not lucky.
We're dedicated.
Romantic love fades.
-Jesus! -And then you build something deeper.
Who invited the incel?
Love is the point of everything. It defines us as human beings.
-Yeah. -Yes, but also dolphins feel it.
Help me say this right, because I know you agree with me.
Okay, here's what I know.
When you're young and in love, it's beyond your control.
You know, you can't help it.
You know, uh, think about all the people in our twenties that we were in love with
who did not deserve us.
But what we have now is a result of knowledge and experience.
You know, we have chosen each other.
When Danny says it, it sounds lovely.
Yeah.
But I also agree that we're all just animals
who like to rub our crotches on things.
Exactly!
Exactly?!
Hmm.
Like, this wouldn't work.
Hey, Kate.
Uh, could you give me a ride into town, please?
I need to go to the farmacia.
-Oh, I can take you, Claude. -Great!
Oh, I-- I was hoping that Jack and I could go on a hike.
I'd like to hike. Should we all go on a hike?
Not with this plantar fasciitis.
I wouldn't mind going into town, though. I do have some stuff to pick up.
Do you two want to take my car?
I can't park that boat.
I cannot drive an automatic.
-Are you guys happy? -What do you mean?
Can you honestly say that you are happy in your lives?
-Yeah. -Every moment of every day.
What kind of question is that? Come on.
I'm leaving Anne.
-Wait, what? -Oh, fuck. Nick.
What… Yeah… Sorry.
I thought you were just gearing up to sell us some retirement package.
I'm not happy.
I haven't been for a long time.
Fuck. Man, I… I… I'm sorry.
It's time for me to take hold of my life.
What about Lila?
Lila's in college. The house is paid off.
Is there somebody else?
No, no, no, no. It's not like that. It's… It's Anne.
I hate her.
No, I don't. I don't.
She's a kind woman. She just…
She's given up.
She doesn't do anything.
She won't read any new books.
She won't go out on the boat.
I… I built her that pottery shed.
She hasn't made one thing.
All she wants to do is play this farm game on her iPad.
I look over her shoulder some nights.
She's really high on the leaderboard.
Nick, does Anne know you've been feeling this way?
Honestly, I think she'd be relieved.
-I think she's just as lonely as I am. -Really?
But doesn't everybody have periods where they feel like,
"Oh, we're just roommates now"?
-Yeah. -I wish. I wish we were like roommates.
Roommates hang out with each other.
There's porn about roommates!
We're… We're…
We're like coworkers at a nuclear facility.
We sit in the same room all night monitoring different screens.
Last night was the end of 25 years,
and that is enough.
I want a divorce.
I'm gonna tell her as soon as this weekend is over.
So now that you have the studio, what's the plan?
You gonna start selling stuff again?
You sound like Nick. He keeps being like, "Get on Etsy. You've got to get on Etsy."
That's an amazing Nick impression, by the way.
Well, that's what his soul sounds like.
Ooh, do my soul.
Yep, that's it.
He acts like I abandoned a career in ceramics.
But doesn't the world have enough bowls?
Okay, here's your blood thinner, your statins,
and this is your vasodilator.
Oh! Thank God you have it. I forgot them in the city.
And this one is an ACE inhibitor for blood pressure.
Look at these little sachets.
And they're locally made by demented children.
By St. Demetrius Church. Put on either pair of your glasses.
I'd like to buy 50 of these, please.
Now, have you taken these before?
Oh, they're not for me. They're for my husband.
Okay, so you're just gonna blow up your life and start over?
Yes.
I can't spend the next 40 years of my life with a woman
who has to take a few practice steps before she gets on an escalator.
She-- She's not the person I married, guys.
I want to live.
Okay, yeah, well, you know, when Kate and I…
We went through like a shitty patch when the kids were young.
And we decided that we needed to do something that was just for us.
So we took a yoga class together.
And at first, I hated it, right?
But then, you know, after a couple weeks, Kate and I found each other again.
Anne would never do that.
Just go sleep with someone else, please.
Okay, here we go.
What would that fix?
You might just be looking for something new physically.
And once you satisfy that,
you can appreciate the wonderful partner you have at home.
Okay, we get it. You and Claude are super evolved.
You don't know.
Maybe Anne wants to sleep with other people.
She wants to sleep. I know that.
Nick, listen.
Divorce is expensive.
Financially and emotionally.
-So just… -Yeah. You really got to think it through.
You think I want this to be true?
I don't want to break up my family.
But I only have one life.
And life is short.
-Okay, listen… -I thought you guys would support me.
We hear you. You've said it out loud to us.
That must have been hard to do.
So, uh…
But I think you should just take a day or two to sit on it
before, uh, going further.
I think there's a Christmas ornament store around here.
Do you think we have time?
Why is Danny on a vasodilator?
Okay, you cannot tell him I told you.
He had been having dizzy spells, then one day, chest pains.
So I called the ambulance.
-Oh, my God. -They did all the tests on him.
I almost passed out in the waiting room
because all I had to eat was this little bag of crackers.
-They were all smashed… -Claude.
They said Danny has a 70% blockage.
They're gonna put a stent into his heart next week.
I got this for Nick.
He's gonna love it.
Oh, my God! That's so funny!
I mean, what'll they think of next?
I'm telling you, next year, end of March, cherry blossoms.
-DC? -No. Kyoto.
We can do something other than get the Acela, I think.
I like the Acela. They give you an ample wine pour.
The New York Times travel section says that Poland is the new Portugal.
Should we take a summer trip to Warsaw?
-What? -Come on.
No. If you want to take a trip to Poland,
just look at my face.
I want to go someplace warm.
Hey, I know this South Asian island,
only half a mile wide.
There are no cars.
You got to bring your own drinking water, but the beaches are pristine.
-I'm gonna Google it. You'll love it. -Is that safe for us?
Shouldn't we be somewhere with infrastructure and, like,
a hospital you don't have to swim to?
Hospital?
Why can't we just be basic and go to the Bahamas?
Yes!
Oh, yeah. I love the Bahamas.
Maybe we should book our tickets now since we're all definitely going?
I think we can wait until we get a little closer
and everybody knows their work schedules and stuff.
Or we could book it now and make our schedules work with it.
Well, we all know your summer's open. You're a teacher.
Is your job really gonna say no to you? I mean, you're the king of the hedge fund.
Oh my God. Wait.
Was the Bahamas where that guy was killed when the monkey ripped his face off?
I don't know, Claude.
I just want to park it on a beach.
Speaking of beaches, I have to go to Miami next week for work.
-Well, that's fun. -Yeah.
But next week you have that thing.
Oh, I've got to work, so we've got to push that thing.
Hey! Who wants to go on the boat?
-Yes! Let's do it. -Oh, yes.
-Come on. -You guys go ahead.
I'm gonna grab my blanket and I'll watch you from here.
You're going, honey.
Ugh.
-We're out of gas. -Ha!
No, I'm kidding.
That bit never gets old.
-It never gets-- Never gets new. -I'll put my eye drops in.
Did I mention that Nick is gonna drive to the good bagel place
in Phoenicia tomorrow and get us bagels?
Yeah, well, or I could save two hours,
go to the bagel place in town.
No! That place is bad. It's run by Protestants.
Sweetheart, it's our anniversary.
If you want faraway bagels, I'll get faraway bagels.
Oh, you're a good husband.
Yeah, he is.
I mean, we all are.
Because when it comes down to it,
you know, we're not scared to do hard things for our spouses.
Are you drunk?
No, no, no, no.
I was just telling these guys earlier
about how when we were going through a hard time,
we took yoga classes together.
I have literally no memory of that.
Yeah, we took several yoga classes together at the-- The Breath Factory.
No, I have never set foot in The Breath Factory.
Yes, you have. Yeah.
The place on Route 80 with the poster of the nude woman in the window?
She's not nude. She's covered in sand.
Well, come on, we went, like, five times.
We had that teacher who wore a toe ring that upset you?
Are you sure you didn't go with another woman?
Sounds like it was equally meaningful for both of you.
Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna fuck off and swim back to shore.
Oh, no! Come on!
Nope, nope. I'm too humiliated. I'll see you at dinner.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
-Oh! Oh! I have to go in after him! -Your sweater's gonna drown you!
What?
Oh my God! I think I know where this is going.
-Come on, baby. Come on, let's go! -No, no.
No, no, no, no! No, no, no!
No, your heart!
This is why I didn't want to tell you!
Hey!
Do it!
Fuck 'em.
Okay, now I have to. It's okay.
Oh, gosh.
-Come on, Annie! -Come on, Annie!
Do it!
-I did it! -Look at that!
You did it!
Oh, man.
That was fun.
What?
That was fun.
Oh.
How'd you do that?
Just put your foot on that bottom rung.
I can't reach it.
Just lift it a little higher.
Let the… the water buoy you up, hon.
I can't.
Yes. Yes, you can. Just try harder.
Just throw me the life preserver and drag me to shore.
-I know you can do it. -I can't do it.
Please, just try!
I don't want to try!
Oh, madre di Dio.
Should we finally start Fargo, or is it too late?
-I think I'm too tired. -Oh, thank God. Me too.
Happy anniversary.
Fuck everybody, this is a fucking joke.
What's the matter, babe?
I'm trying to get on the portal to change your appointment,
but it keeps saying the password is wrong, see?
No, no, stop, stop.
I do "forgot your password," see?
Now it's asking me, "What was your high school mascot?"
We don't have that in Italy.
Ah, maybe Virgin Mary.
No.
Are you sure that you cannot stay home next week?
They desperately need me in Miami.
I get it.
You understand?
-Mm-hmm. -Come here.
Are you okay? You keep sighing.
Nick is gonna leave Anne.
What?
Why?
I mean, they seem fine. He-- He just bought her that pottery shed.
Seems like he's been thinking about this for a while.
Can't they just fight it out?
I don't know.
I… I don't even… I don't think he knows.
He's just doing it.
God, he's such an asshole.
It's so sad.
You know, I've been thinking, um,
I do remember those yoga classes we took together.
No, you don't.
I want to.
Guys!
-One sec. Nope. -Yeah. We're… We're in…
Hey.
Did you have sex in their house?
Who does that?
Whatever. I need you both downstairs right now.
And eventually, you'll put one of these on each chair.
Okay, thank you.
Hi, guys.
What's going on out here?
Well, I sent Nick an hour away to get bagels
because this is my anniversary present to him.
A surprise vow renewal ceremony.
Yeah.
I know.
Oh, beautiful. Uh, right by the entrance.
So, so pretty.
He's gonna freak out.