Okay, since you guys got multiple rooms with us,
we are happy to offer you guys the bulk room discount rate.
Also, I have to ask, who's getting married?
I actually just got engaged last week.
No, it's not a wedding. It's just an event.
Big birthday?
Nope, just a family event.
Family reunion!
Jesus Christ.
Sorry. I'm just kind of dying to know.
My colleague wrote "fun" next to your name.
It's a funeral, Mikayla.
Oh my God.
I'm so sorry.
No, you didn't know. It's fine.
My, um, sincerest condolences for the loss of your loved one.
No, it was… my ex-husband.
I hated him.
I didn't hate him.
But I was just getting over our divorce before all this happened.
And now I am stuck planning a celebration of life
for a man who did not want a life with me.
Annie, honey, Mikayla needs to just focus on the reservation…
And here's the kicker.
The tween he left me for is coming over today
to help me plan said funeral.
So…
Not quite as fun as the note suggested.
Okay, so that's 12 rooms, all non-smoking.
You guys can smoke if you need.
-Thanks. -Thank you, dear.
Oh! Hey, remember this?
It's Hershey Bar Man from Hersheypark.
That was real?
I thought that was, like, a nightmare I had.
Oh, it was a really fun trip. You don't remember at all?
Not really. I'm sorry.
I might have been too little.
Ginny's here.
Hey.
You're fine.
Hi, Anne.
Um, thanks for having me over.
Of course.
Um, I was thinking about the service tomorrow, and I…
I have a few ideas.
Uh, to be honest, I've never really been to a funeral before
because all my grandparents are still alive.
You know what, Ginny?
We're already taking care of everything, so you can just relax.
Uh…
Okay.
Well, I brought a few of Nick's favorite things,
if you want to incorporate them.
Um, these are his sand goggles from Burning Man.
And, um…
Oh, this is this album that Nick really loved.
It's from this band called Mannequin Pussy.
-I was thinking… -Okay, know what, Ginny?
Why don't you come help me with the slideshow?
Oh, sure.
Hey.
Where are you going?
I have to pick up a couple cousins at the train station,
and then I need to, uh, go back to the funeral home and…
Why do you have to go back? I thought everything was done.
Yeah, well, they're trying to gouge us. They want Anne to pay $2,500 for an urn.
What? That's how much it cost to get my tooth fixed.
Yeah, they sneaked a bunch of extra bullshit into the estimate too.
-It's horrible. -Hey.
You want me to go? I don't mind talking them down.
What?
You're usually better at talking up the price of things.
Remember, you got swindled into buying Geek Squad insurance
for that $12 power cord?
Yeah, but if you'll recall when that power cord died,
we got a new one for free.
Minus the shipping and the restocking fee.
I know you feel like I don't do enough,
but sometimes you have to trust me to help you.
Okay, thank you. Yes, you can go to the funeral home.
Look, I know we've been having a rough time,
and neither of us knows how to get out of it,
but we've gotten through other bad times before.
Like, remember when we bought the house and the next day I lost my job?
That sucked.
Yeah, or when you were nine months pregnant,
you said you didn't want to have to deliver the baby.
And I missed my epidural window 'cause I wouldn't take my pants off.
Yeah.
But we know what we have to do.
We just have to buckle down and push through
and just work on it
and just, like, keep working until it's okay.
This is just what marriage is.
Yeah.
This is hard.
It's okay.
It'll be okay.
How?
He's dead. It's fucked up.
I know.
But it's also beautiful because Nick is a butterfly now.
What?
Last night, I had a dream. It was about Nick.
He was surrounded by dozens of butterflies,
and he looked so happy.
And then this morning, Anne, she handed me a mug and on the side…
A butterfly.
Yeah.
I think this is his way of telling us that he will always be with us.
Yeah, I don't like stuff like that.
But I was thinking maybe…
Did he ever mention to you loving butterflies,
or, I don't know, a special connection to them?
Of course not.
He wasn't a nine-year-old girl or Mariah Carey.
He didn't give a fuck about butterflies.
Yet how ironic he has now become one.
Okay, uh, has everybody sent me all their pictures?
I sent three. We hardly ever take pictures of this group of friends.
Okay, thank you for reminding me that your gay friends are more photogenic.
-Well, you know. -So I just had a great talk with Marty.
-Who's Marty? -Marty Galuska, Galuska Funeral Home.
Awesome guy.
Great. Is he gonna take off that extra stuff?
Well, according to Marty,
all those things you thought were add-ons are actually pretty standard
and frankly necessary.
So to be on the safe side, I just kept them all.
All right, I can tell by your face you think I've been swindled,
but I promise you I was not.
No, it's fine. I will, uh… get into it later.
Let's look at the slideshow.
Oh, yeah.
I already air-dropped my pics to you, so I tried to do a good assortment.
-Oh. -Wow.
Mm-hmm.
Got some tongues.
Is he nude there?
Yeah, but you can't…
Oh, Ginny, I don't know.
Really? What's wrong?
These are a little risqué.
I think they're kind of romantic.
I know Nick really liked this one with the trapezists.
No, I'm sure he enjoyed taking this photo.
I just don't think he would want people to remember him
as, like, a French sex clown.
Okay, well, I'm sure that Ginny doesn't want that either, right?
I mean, maybe there are other ways you could participate, you know?
Like if you wanted to say a few words or…
No, I-I would love to speak.
Actually, I can make the photos work.
No, honestly, this would make me feel, like, a lot better.
Um… Thank you. Yeah.
I'll see you guys tomorrow, okay?
What are we thinking? Like, three to five minutes?
I'll run it by you.
-Okay. -Okay, bye.
-Bye. -Bye.
Why?
I mean, you don't know. Maybe Anne will want her to say a few--
-No. -No.
Annie, can I interest you in some under-seasoned upstate pad thai?
Sounds perfect.
Yeah. I know.
I can't believe he's gone.
But if it helps, Anne, you know, he'll always be with us.
Yeah.
Thank you both.
In fact, I had a dream last night.
-Claude. Claude. -It was about Nick.
Remember that mug that you gave me this morning?
The one with the dragonfly?
Where's Ginny?
Uh, she went back to the hotel.
So, just thinking out loud about the schedule.
Should I be trying to block out a little time for Ginny to say anything?
No, she's not speaking tomorrow.
Yeah, that's what we thought. Yeah.
Uh, in other news, the slideshow is looking pretty tight.
Great.
Well, I talked to your boy Marty.
And we were able to find an elegant yet reasonably priced urn.
And I don't know how we're gonna get by without the $300 platinum wreath easel,
but I think we'll figure it out.
You know, you didn't have to do that.
I mean, just because I didn't do it the way you wanted.
It's not the way I wanted, Jack. You didn't do it.
Hey, why are you attacking me right now?
Huh? Whatever happened to, "This is what marriage is."
"We get through the bad times together"?
Well, Jack, when one person is consistently generating the bad times…
Like, why would you tell Ginny she could speak?
Hey, sorry to interrupt.
-Oh, hi, honey. -It's your room, kiddo.
I just need to grab my toothbrush.
-Yes, go for it. -Gotta get those teeth cleaned.
-Sure you don't want your room back, Lila? -Yeah.
Oh, no, no, no. I'm good with Mom. Good night.
You know, I-I'm glad that I told Ginny she could speak.
Yeah, I felt bad for her. You couldn't use one of her pictures?
Did you think a picture of Nick at Cirque du Soleil
with a visible erection was good for a slideshow that his child will see?
-No. -No.
Well, then you could have been the one to tell Ginny her pictures were bad.
You could have been the one to ask Anne.
But you didn't do it because you've gotta always be the good guy.
And you know, that only leaves one other part.
Sorry. I just need to get my book.
You sure you don't want to sleep here?
-We can sleep anywhere. On the roof. -We can sleep anywhere. Yeah.
I just wish for once you would give me the benefit of the doubt.
-All right? You never trust me. -Yeah, you know why?
Because when I trust you, you screw it up,
and it makes more work for me, so I'm done.
I'm not cleaning up your messes anymore, and you can talk to her in the morning.
God, you can be really mean sometimes.
Well, if I'm so awful, why don't you call your buddies at LegalZoom?
You did so much this week. I know Anne appreciates it.
Well, Nick deserves a nice send-off.
Oh, I see someone.
Hi, we're here for the funeral.
Oh, yes, ma'am.
We will be your attendants on this somber occasion.
-Uh, our condolences for your loss. -Condolences.
Is there a reason the door is locked?
Yeah, I-- I believe you told my father,
uh, you didn't want the private family visitation hour?
Wait, one sec.
Uh, would you guys prefer to stand inside?
Yeah, we'd prefer that.
Why is nothing set up?
Oh, no, uh, that is the main chapel.
As requested, your service has been set up in the bereavement zone.
Ugh.
I think this is sort of what Marty was talking about.
-Hi. -Hi.
Oh.
-Hey. -Hi.
How are you holding up?
I'm okay.
Yeah.
Thank you for asking.
Yeah.
-So, listen. -Hmm?
-Kate and I were talking. -Yeah.
And I know you were a little "anti" on the whole Ginny speaking thing.
Why are we still discussing this?
I mean, uh, okay.
Look. Full disclosure, I fucked up.
-Mm! -I mean, I told Ginny she could speak.
No!
-If there's any way that you'd consider-- -No!
I am done being generous about this. Let me have one fucking boundary.
Look, I mean…
This has to be his real family. Not the girl he happened to be dating.
Well, I mean, I think she meant more to him than that.
They spent most of the past year together.
Well, there was one year he was really into judo.
Should we ask Sensei Steve to speak?
I don't think so.
We were married.
We had a child. We had a whole life together.
It's not the same. You know it's not the same.
She does not deserve to be up there with me.
Yeah. Yeah, I was just, like, quadruple-checking.
Because we're on the same page. Yeah.
Hey, Kate.
Hi.
Um…
I was just wondering when I should go up to speak.
Did Jack not talk to you?
Right. Um…
So, Anne was feeling that maybe smaller is better.
You know, it's a family thing, and…
So, Anne will be the only one to speak.
But Anne didn't even really know Nick anymore.
Ginny, Anne was married to Nick for 25 years.
Well, it doesn't matter.
An eternity with the wrong person
is worth less than a moment with your soulmate.
A soulmate, yeah.
I know that the eight months you had with Nick
feels like the main event of your life.
But one day, hopefully,
you will be married to someone for 25 years
and this will all be just a blip.
A blip?
A… A beautiful blip.
But I'm just saying you have your whole life ahead of you.
-Thanks. -Excuse me.
Uh, we're ready to begin. Would you like me to carry this?
Or would you like to place it?
What is that?
Uh, this is the deceased.
-Why is it a shoe? -This is the one you ordered.
Number 619, Sheer Elegance.
No, but it's not an urn shape.
I mean, you have to warn someone if it's not an urn shape.
What the fuck is that?
Is that… Is that Nick?
We're changing it. It's getting changed. We can change it, right?
Honestly, that's a question for my father.
And, uh, when he heard this funeral was gonna be so small,
he headed back to his fishing cabin upstate.
Oh, good for Marty. He showed me pics. Yeah.
All right, Kyler.
-Let's get the show on the road. -Really?
I just had a real fun conversation with Ginny, so thanks a lot.
Ginny? I thought you said I was supposed to talk to Anne.
Fuck… me!
Well…
Okay, as soon as you're ready to start.
And, uh, one thing.
The urn is temp.
Is it a stripper's shoe?
Yes, but again, it is temp, and it will be fixed tomorrow.
Okay? So…
Okay, Annie.
Hi.
We are here today to celebrate someone we all loved.
Nicholas Pagano.
Our Nick.
When Nick and I first started dating, he asked me to help him buy some art.
And when I asked him what kind, he said, "Whatever is classiest."
And I told him that art should make you feel something.
So we went to about ten galleries, but nothing popped.
Then later, we found a street artist,
and Nick insisted that we get our caricature done.
He looked at it, him on a motorcycle, me in the sidecar,
and he said, "Now, this makes me feel something."
So, for two decades,
that very classy piece of art has been hanging in our apart--
His apart-- Well, it was his apartment.
He probably took it down anyway.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's very complicated… talking about him.
On one hand, I have all these beautiful memories
of our life together, and on the other, he did tell me he was leaving me
while waiting for the claims adjuster to inspect our exploded shed.
I knew him so well, and yet I really didn't know him at all.
Like, I didn't know that he liked Monkey Pussy.
"Mannequin."
Yeah, okay, great.
Seems like Ol' Divorcio may have bitten off more than she could chew.
So maybe somebody else should do this.
Claude, you had something you wanted to share about a mug or something.
Oh.
Sure.
Thank you, Anne.
Our dear friend Nick is now a butterfly.
Okay, Lila and Beth made their train.
Oh, good.
Where should I put it?
You know, every funeral has its hiccups.
All in all, I think we gave our buddy a nice send-off.
-I hope so. -Yeah, I think you're right.
Oh my God, are you people crazy?
Excuse me?
I'm serious, on what planet was that an actually good funeral?
Like, do you honestly think that letting me speak for a second
would have been worse than whatever the fuck that was?
-Wow. -Ginny…
No, I am so sick of this, okay?
You can throw my photos in the trash,
you can forget my Burning Man goggles at home,
you can all treat me like I am a child, but it was not a blip.
Nick and I were building a real, real life together.
I need some air.
Ginny, wait.
I said I need some air. Is that okay, or do you need to clear it with Kate?
That felt hurtful and accurate.
Ginny's still not answering.
It's starting to get dark out.
Is there someone we can call to find her, like a lake ranger or something?
-No, we have to go look for her. -Okay.
Not you, though, Anne. You've already been through enough today.
-You okay? -Yeah.
Don't be mad at me.
Anne asked me to speak. I…
Just because you don't believe that Nick's a butterfly, that--
No, I don't.
And I kept telling you that, but you kept saying it anyway.
Claude, you never give me space to feel what I'm feeling.
Of course I want you to feel. That's all I ever want.
No, no, no, no. You want me to feel good. And happy.
And when I don't, you say some stupid bullshit about our friend being a bug.
-It's not bullshit. It's beautiful. -What if I had died?
Would you go around telling everybody I was a fucking bird?
I feel like you're off in Nonsense World,
and I'm facing all of this completely alone!
A horrible thing happened to our friend, and it was random and meaningless,
so stop trying to make meaning out of it.
I don't want to hear, "No, it's okay, he's not really gone," because he is.
He's not a butterfly. He's dead.
And it's not beautiful or part of a greater plan.
It's just sad!
So let me just feel sad.
Maybe he's not a butterfly.
No.
Maybe he is.
Let's just walk.
Ginny!
Oh, wait! Over there!
Hey, Ginny!
We're super sorry about before!
Ginny?
Oh, wait, it's just a deer.
Ginny!
Wait, is this one of those umbrella decorations that Anne put on the--
Wait, wait, wait, are we on the lake?
Is this ice? Are we on ice?
Oh my God, I hear a crack!
-It's cracking! -Calm down, it's probably one inch deep!
Thanks.
I'm sorry, Ginny.
I should've let you speak.
Why didn't you?
I guess I was just…
scared…
that if you said something good,
it would mean 25 years of my life wasn't real.
Also, I wanted to punish him one last time.
Fuck.
I knew he'd want you to speak, and I squelched it.
Anne, I only wanted to say something good because…
…because we were in a fight.
It's okay.
Try to stop crying.
The only reason he was even at that grocery store
is because I was mad at him.
Maybe we weren't as happy as I thought we were.
Maybe it was just a blip.
Ha.
No.
I saw your photos.
There were a lot of exposed armpits and belly buttons,
and one where the tip of his penis may have edged its way into frame.
Oh, God.
He was happy, Ginny.
As happy as I've ever seen him.
The fucker.
-Really? -Mm.
So, come on, let's go inside. It's freezing out here.
Yeah.
Um, actually, while I have you…
Jack! Help me! Ah!
What is that? Is that Kate?
I can't touch the bottom!
-What the hell are you guys doing? -Danny, help!
No, don't! It'll break! All right?
-Please. -Okay.
Okay, look. You gotta focus on me, got it?
-Okay. -Okay.
I'm gonna pull you out on three. One, two, three!
Fuck, how do we get off?
Whoa, whoa, wait!
Okay, in the Battle of Austerlitz,
Napoleon drew Russian forces onto a frozen lake.
Please stop teaching me and tell me what we're doing here!
We gotta make ourselves as long as possible and roll off.
No, that doesn't make any sense.
We have to run real fast, like those lizards that can run on water.
No, you have to trust me.
-Okay. -Okay.
Make yourself long like a tube. Come on! Tube yourself, Kate.
What are they doing?
It's like Napoleon! I finished the book.
Tube!
-Tube! -Tube! Tube!
I am! Jesus!
Oh my God!
Oh, you saved us!
We could've died!
Nick died.
Oh, honey, yeah.
-Nick died, yeah. -Kate?
-It's okay. -Kate. Oh God.
Oh!
It's Nick.
Okay.
It's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
No, it won't. It's terrible.
It's terrible.
Oh, you're still so cold.
I'm still so cold.
Here, here.
That shower did not help at all.
-I'm gonna wrap you up like a burrito. -Okay.
Yeah, okay. I want to be a burrito, please.
Let's go.
Here we go. Take that right there.
Shit, Christ.
-Here, lie down. -I wanna go over here.
Okay. Over there.
There you go. I'm gonna tuck you in.
How is this?
I really hate to say this, but could you lay on top of me?
Yeah, yeah.
How's this?
I'm really sorry.
I should've listened to you. To you and Marty.
No, look, you were right yesterday.
We just need to push through.
Because that's what marriage is, right? It's-- It's work and it's dedication.
It's a decision you have to make every single day.
No, that's stupid.
It's just, you're my soulmate.
Okay, show of hands. Who wants to stay married?
Uh, looks like I'll have to log back on to LegalZoom?
-No! -What? How dare you?
I'm sorry, but we need an official hand raised to stay married.
-Give me one second, it's coming! -No!
There we go.
-That counts. -That counts.
What?
I know I can be too much sometimes.
Oh…
No, you're not.
No?
You're the exact right amount.
Okay.
What? Now, uh, stir for me.
All right.
Where does this woman keep her cumin?
Huh, she's got some spices here next to a water bottle.
Hmm.
And…
Oh, she's got spices next to a flashlight.
-It's my grandma's recipe. -It's really good.
That is good.
-We did good. -You did well.
And very fast.
Thank you so much.
Mm. Mm.
-Ginny? -Mm-hmm?
If you wanted, you could read what you wrote.
Only if you want to.
Sure.
Okay, thanks.
Um…
"Nick once said my personality was buttered toast."
"If I'm buttered toast, Nick was a Greek omelet."
"Hearty and nutritious, but full of surprises."
Wow, this was gonna be really bad too, wasn't it?
No.
It's okay. It should not be just one person's job to remember someone.
It would take all of you to remember me.
All of you, plus--
Please do not talk about your other hotter friend group.
-It hurts my feelings. -I know, but they're so hot.
You know what we should do next year? We should take a trip in Nick's honor.
-Oh, yes! -Yes!
I know he always wanted to go to Montana to go fly-fishing.
-Fuck that. -Boo!
No, you know, he wanted to do it!
We should go to Iceland to see the northern lights
because he would never let us do that.
He was always like, "I'm not freezing my ass off to go see God's screen saver."
-He would hate it. -Hey, how about a little toast?
-Okay. With this? -Pass these around for me, please.
My love.
-Here you go. -Amore.
Grazie.
Nick loved his friends, his family, and Scotch,
the most disgusting drink on planet Earth.
-To Nick. -To Nick.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
-To Nick. -To Nick.
Mm…
Ew.
Ooh!
Yeah.
She's pregnant.