Oh, this is totally giving me that DDLJ feeling.
It's my first time helping a girl elope.
Dumbass, no one elopes at the end of DDLJ.
We ran away. Where do we go now?
Tell her, Aasmaan.
Why does a guy run away with a girl?
The real question is, why does a girl run away with a guy?
Jesus!
-Parvaiz. -Uh, just a minute.
-Hello? -Abdul bhai?
-Our girl said yes. -Cool, I'll get started.
Guys, the girl said yes.
Don't start celebrating. We have to get the old man. Let's go.
Come on, let's go.
We'll have to bail them both out.
Come on, Sanya, don't make it worse.
Please go a little faster.
Oh, it's Parvaiz on the phone.
-Hello? -Where are you guys?
Uh, Mummy, I'm, uh, marrying Karishma.
-No! -Way to go, my lil' cheetah!
Have you lost your mind, Aasmaan?
-I'll message you with our location. -Don't be stupid!
-Aasmaan, listen. -Bye, love you! See you there.
-What did she say? -What'd she say?
What could she say?
I got their location! Ahead, it's a U-turn.
Ooh, man. Look at that car behind us.
Shit, that color. It's Barbie as fuck, bro.
Fuck! That's my dad!
Na na na na, run from your daddy…
Parvaiz, hit the gas!
Na na na na na, run from your daddy
I'm a superstar
Na na na na na, I'm a one-man army
I'm a one-man army
Na na na na, I'm a one-man army
Ajay, sir!
I'm a superstar
Na na na na na, your mamma want me
Your mamma want me
Na na na na na, your mamma want me…
Parvaiz!
Parvaiz, hurry! Faster, Parvaiz! Faster!
I'm a superstar…
Faster, please!
Oh God! Parvaiz, we'll get stuck! Wait!
Oh my God!
Your papa's gettin' stuck, baby!
Fuck! No!
Na na na na na
Where the fuck are we? What the fuck is going on?
How the hell am I supposed to know? You think this is a regular thing for me?
Guys, I think I'm gonna throw up.
Yo! You can't puke in my car, man! Are you kidding?
I'm trying to get us there alive!
Hey, watch out, man!
-Parvaiz, stop the car! -Oh heavenly God! We're so dead!
Get a hold of the car, asshole!
-Parvaiz! -Parvaiz what the hell are you doing?
What are you doing, bro?
-What are you doing, Parvaiz? -Parvaiz, no!
No, Parvaiz, please don't!
Come on, man, he's headed right at us!
Parvaiz!
Oh yeah!
How did you know he would move out of the way like that?
'Cause we have his only daughter in our car! Yeah, boy!
-You're a genius, bro! -Yes!
I just put Ajay Talvar's panties in a bunch!
-Parvaiz! -Sorry, Karishma.
Cheers to Sailab 2!
The film that made my company, and the film that will save it.
Uh-uh. Our Company.
Hmm? So, Jeejeebhoy.
How many times has Freddy ordered you to watch this flick?
Sir, you should see this.
Go on.
Ajay Talvar and his pink Ferrari took a wild ride tonight!
What the fuck is going on?
The actor was driving at breakneck speeds…
What the hell is he doing? That fool had better not die.
I just signed him on.
Ferrari, my ass! That was crap!
I'm the man! I'm the man, man!
Stop the car!
Fuck! This guy just won't leave us alone!
I said stop!
Dad, you stop!
Karishma, don't do this, sweetheart! Karishma, please!
Parvaiz, there's a fucking truck coming!
-We can't get through there! -I can see! That's pretty clear!
Stop!
What the fuck is wrong with you? Just stop the car right now!
Why are you closing your eyes?
Please! What are you doing? Stop driving!
Stop, stop, stop! Stop it, Parvaiz!
Fuck!
Fuckin' number one
Like a phoenix I rise again
I can't stop, I'm in overdrive
I'll make the whole world say my name
No I have never felt more alive
I don't really care
What you say
The throne is mine
You've gotta kiss it goodbye
They say I'm bad I'll have to change my ways
But these habits of mine Will just never die
Here we go again
Ain't no way I'm done
The whole world in my hands
I'll be fuckin' number one
Yeah, I'll be fuckin' number one
You know I'm fuckin' number one
Hey, turn on the lights! Our stars have arrived.
Bhai…
Yo, how about this bad location for a wedding?
A film studio!
Bhai, how you doin'.
-Hi there, bhai. -How's it going.
Once this guy stamps the papers, you both need to sign.
Then your marriage will be legal.
Yeah!
He's a little slow, but he'll get it finished.
Seriously? A little slow?
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Bhai, is he okay?
Sign language.
Slow as shit and can't hear for shit.
Hey! It's fine, okay, bhai? It's cool. All good.
Anyway, congrats on your nuptials.
If you guys need visas for your honeymoon, just holler.
We're out.
-Thank you. -Abdul bhai. Thank you, bhai.
-You really came through. -Later.
Bhai, hang on. Dude… you didn't pay me.
Oh, yeah?
Come on, man.
Oh, get in here, bro.
My man!
Sir?
-Avtar, you need to go a lot faster. -God willing, we don't miss the wedding.
-How long till we're there? -Um, 20 minutes.
Take a romantic shot before Uncle and Auntie get here.
Looking good. That's great. Here we go.
Uh, hang on. Karishma?
Karishma?
Why are you stressing?
Your dad may have a Ferrari,
but not our location.
You don't know my dad.
Ajay sir, what's the rush?
Sir, please don't get angry with me. I was just doing my job.
Sir, I swear I'll delete the pictures.
Listen.
I need to say something, and I probably should've said it earlier.
Go on.
Uh…
I love you.
I love you too.
Aw, so cute!
What the fuck, Dad! You could've killed me!
Did I?
Wait.
You fuck!
Aasmaan!
Damn you, old man!
Bro, hit this dude, come on!
What the…
Dad!
Oh shit!
Oh fuck!
This is the location.
Neeta, you head over that way, I'll go this way.
Let's go.
Guys, please! Aasmaan, no!
Aasmaan!
Girl, yell "Aasmaan, Aasmaan" in bed! Get those fucking papers signed now!
Faster, faster, faster.
Stay away from my daughter.
And you stay away from my son!
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
You didn't sign them yet?
-I need a pen. I can't! -Pen?
Did that deaf, raisin of a man take it?
How could you raise your hand to a kid, you asshole?
Try it now! Let's see you hit him now! Go on!
Wait. Wait, wait, he's lifting me! I'm levitating. What the hell?
How is he doing this?
Get over here! Help!
Oh, hey!
-Karishma. A pen! -Huh?
Oh fuck!
Is this the right way?
Hey, Sukhi! How ya doin', man? Dude, come on. Remember Goa?
Hey, come on. We're tight, dude. Our relationship is real.
Sorry, buddy. Gig first.
Meaning what?
Are you okay?
Shit!
Aasmaan!
After being fired from Karan Johar and Freddy Sodawallah's…
I want an entirely new staff. And of course, a new office space.
Yes, sir, I've shortlisted a few spaces. If you'd like, we can see a few tomorrow.
What the fuck?
Hey, guys?
Do you both see that?
-What? -Aasmaan Singh, the fall of a rising star.
Jeejeebhoy, fire up the projector.
Are you all right, son?
Aasmaan!
Aasmaan, sign the papers!
Aasmaan, what are you looking at, man? Would you sign that shit already?
Go on! Sign it now!
Aasmaan, sign!
No, Karishma.
I can't let a single piece of paper be the thing that seals our fate.
Because I swore I would create my own destiny.
Aasmaan, what are you doing?
What the fuck, Aasmaan?
No, fuck!
There's just one thing I really don't get.
Why is it you hate me so much?
And how can you hate the happiness of your own daughter?
And, apparently, you won't ever accept my love for her.
Nor will I
accept your hate.
The problem, you know, with people like us…
is we don't think with our heads.
We think with our hearts.
And you, sir,
from afar, you're a big star on a big screen.
But when I'm close up, you're just a tiny,
insignificant…
heartless asshole.
That's fine, sir. You can take Karishma.
But I'm not quitting.
Because wasn't it you, sir, who told me,
"What you want,
you'll get."
Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or the day after…
but one day, she'll be mine, and that is certain.
Because what I want…
is what I get.
Aasmaan!
Stay away from Karishma.
No.
Stop!
You will stay away from her.
No.
-Aasmaan! -Aasmaan! Wait!
Wait!
No, son!
Son of a bitch.
When did this picture release?
It was 26 years back.
And Aasmaan, how old is he?
He's 26!
Fucking bastard!
Rajat. And this is Neeta. Aasmaan is our boy.
Mm. Hello.
-And who's your heroine? -Karishma.
-Karishma Talvar! -I'm taking Dad out for a walk.
Excuse me.
-Hello, Ajay? -Neeta? Is that you?
I wouldn't have called, but it's important.
Aasmaan booked Karan's new film, and we just found out.
Karishma and Aasmaan cannot do a film together.
I'm fully aware.
Don't worry. I won't let it happen.
You're gonna do a 100-million-film with two newcomers as the stars?
You must be out of your mind.
This is a Karan Johar film. I'm betting on myself.
And this is not the launch I want for my daughter.
You can't do this to me, man.
I just did.
Ajay, what are you doing?
-They can't be allowed-- -Nothing will happen between them.
I'll find another way.
Aasmaan?
Aasmaan!
Aasmaan?
Before you go, I wanna ask about something.
Did Papa know about it?
So you were never really in love with Dad, then.
So that was all just fake?
Were you even sad when he died, or was that fake as well?
Aasmaan!
Ask me anything you need to.
But never, ever ask how much I loved your father, Aasmaan.
Don't.
And which father do you mean?
How could you do this? You just got engaged to Sameer!
And you actually went off and tried eloping with that ruffian, Aasmaan?
-Are you kidding right now? -Mom.
We have no idea about his family, or what they're like,
or where they come from.
I mean…
-Do you know what his father does-- -Leave it, Anu. I'll handle it.
Well, excuse my concern.
I've seen how you handle things.
And why did you need to take the car out and do this road racing?
What's going on with you, Ajay?
Yeah, Dad. What's going on with you.
You shut up!
-Uh, madam? -What is it, Lallan?
The fence guy is waiting to get paid.
Oh, this fucking fence!
You two sort your shit out.
Let's go.
Karishma.
Baby, I'm sorry.
Don't worry, Dad.
I won't mention anything about it.
I promise.
Karishma, it's not like that.
Just… leave.
Please.
Oh, damn it, brother.
Looks like you managed to dodge this whole ordeal.
We'll have our last drink together though.
Cheers.
Drink up.
Come on.
Listen, it's gonna be all right, kid.
You having something?
Listen, um,
I know it goes without saying,
but all that happened,
it really can't be leaked.
For my mother's sake.
Yeah, don't worry about it.
How's your mom been doing?
I really don't think I'll be able to forgive her for it.
I haven't forgiven him either.
But maybe they had their reasons.
What could they do?
Tell the truth.
I would've grown up in a broken home if they had…
And you, I guess…
you wouldn't have had a father.
It's just a fucked-up situation.
But with everything that's happened,
I hope
you and I can be friends.
Okay, well, take care.
Wait!
I have to give you something.
Now you're one of us.
Nepo!
All right, I'll see you.
On Siblings' Day.
Asshole!
You have a great career ahead.
But not your lead actor.
Sir, he's one of the most talented actors--
Still hustling, Sanya. Still hustling.
And the way you were able to get him into my movie.
I was very impressed.
Just doing my job, sir.
But now, it's time to move on to bigger and better stars.
Superstars!
-Fuck you, Karan! -Oh, fuck you too, Ranbir.
Oh my God!
You're Sanya, right?
Karan's a big fan of yours.
And I'm your very biggest fan, sir!
-Wow. -Hi, so nice to meet you.
-Uh, hi. Uh, your vape. -Oh, I'm so sorry.
That's fantastic. But when can we start?
Well, I wanna get started if we can, but tomorrow works too.
-Hmm… -Are you serious?
Is that a yes or a yes?
I'm… I'm extremely flattered!
Yeah, yeah, we know. Moving on.
-Mm-hmm. -But I can't, sir.
You what?
I can't.
You… can't?
Don't be so fast to decide, Sanya. You're a good manager.
I'm honored that you think I'm a good manager, sir.
But I think I'm a better friend.
Is that the first time a girl has turned you down?
So this is how it feels?
I wouldn't know.
I'm so sorry.
Really.
Please keep it.
How sweet.
Stupidity!
No, Karan.
That is loyalty.
How is he?
Well, the whole industry is boycotting the guy.
He almost married his sister, and now he's got two fathers.
-So what do you think? -Parvaiz!
He's right though.
I came here to be an actor.
But I didn't think I'd ever have to act like this.
I can't do it anymore.
What?
I gotta go.
Where?
I gotta quit.
I told you, man. "One for one."
Don't ever talk that kinda shit to me again.
Dude! Who hits someone that hard?
Someone who really loves you.
But he's right.
FilmFirst caused a whole mess. Who's gonna hire him now?
There is one guy.
The entire industry kicked your ass to the curb.
So now you come to me.
Just who do you think I am, huh? Who?
Huh? Plan B? Second option?
Like a spare tire, right?
-Never. Of course not. -It's not like that at all.
Pull off the hoods!
All of us do illegal business. That's your issue?
-Huh? -No, no, bhai!
All right, let me get totally legal.
A three-film contract…
with Gafoor Film International.
-Gafoor! -Three-film contract.
-With Gafoor Film International! -Yes, that's right, worldwide.
Aiza, my contract.
Here, sign it.
Go on, sign it.
Go on, man.
-Anybody got a pen on 'em? -Who's got a pen, guys?
Throw us a pen.
Oh, fuck, another contract?
Someone get a damn pen.
All of you bastards have blades on you, and nobody's got a pen up in here?
They can't find one.
-Someone get a pen! -Sh!
-If you can't find a pen, just forget it. -Sir, pen!
Shit, man, seriously? This manager!
She's just…
Of course today she would have a purse full of pens!
Okay, sign it.
Go on. Sign it, at the bottom there.
Uh…
-Bhai… -Ah, just kidding, man!
All these guys were shitting their pants!
Man, fuck that!
Contracts are pretty pointless around here.
Just do what I say. Hey, get over here, kid.
Thank you, bhai.
Start applying for your visas.
Your next shoot's not in India. It's gonna be international!
How's Aasmaan?
Angry with me.
And Karishma?
She'll be okay.
Mm-mm.
I quit.
I'm sorry.
I really tried.
No, I'm sorry.
I promised you our paths would never cross again.
Could just be that it was our destiny.
Maybe I was supposed to meet my son this way.
So what did you wanna say?
I mean, is there anything left to say?
You tell me. You're the one that called.
Wait, I called? You were the one who called me.
I called both of you!
How do like my little, uh, spoofing device, huh?
We had our suspicions.
But thank you for confirming.
And don't worry, your secret is… safe with us.
Oh is it, Jeejeebhoy?
Only if they agree.
You can't do this, Freddy!
But, Ajay…
I just did.
Uh, we just did.
Ajay, what is this?
However,
I do have some good news.
Sailab 2 doesn't need you anymore.
But Auntie, we're definitely gonna need you around.
Uh, for Aasmaan's dates, of course. And yours…
Yours and Karishma's too, sir.
Because we're going to release Bollywood's biggest family drama.
And the picture's title will read…
The media just loves to print that trash.
He was not drinking and driving.
And a dog bit Lallan, on top of everything!
Oh God!
How could this day get any worse?
Mom.
I have to tell you something.
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy ji?
Give it to me now
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy ji?
Give it to me now
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy, who's your daddy?
-Who's your daddy? -Who's your daddy, who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy, who's your daddy?
I'm your daddy ji?
Who's your daddy ji?
Say my name
Who's your daddy?
Ji?
Who's your daddy ji?
Give it to me now
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy ji?
Say my name addy ji?