WEBVTT

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A NETFLIX SERIES

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CHANNEL 99

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[sighs]

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All right, you have to sign right here

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and here and right here.

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We've given you everything
that you're entitled to.

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How nice of you, complying with the law.

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Do you need anything else?

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[pen scratches]

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-[knock on door]
-My whiteboard.

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Pedro, I don't know
why you were fired, but you--

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The glass ceiling shattered
and fell on top of me.

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Okay, I just wanted
to tell you that I admire you.

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I think you're an amazing guy.

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Gee, thanks.

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I agree with you.

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[laughs]

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Would you be interested
in joining my team?

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As assistant manager?

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[scoffs] Do you really think
I'd put my brilliance

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at the service of an opportunist

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who was handpicked as some
kind of feminist affirmative action?

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Hmm. It's not my fault
that things are changing, Pedro.

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[Pedro] You sure?

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They pay you to think up idiotic shows
that will get high ratings

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so they can advertise hair products,

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creams for antiaging,
cereals with whole grains

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and other mass-produced pieces of garbage

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to all these silly little women

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who've bought into
the hyped-up empowerment bullshit.

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And who pays you?

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[scoffs] A crazy old man.

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Sorry, honey, but you're
just another pawn of the patriarchy.

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And you're a bastard.

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Dumb pawn.

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[classical music fanfare playing]

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Hey, what are you doing with my phone?

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Shh! I'm shipping you.

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-Shi-- what?
-Getting you a date.

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No, no. No more dates.

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-Really, I'm not going on another.
-Relax, the same woman.

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-Who, Ángeles?
-Mm-hmm.

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But I slammed the door in her face.

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Yeah, that's why I had
to work on an apology.

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She'll be your body number one.
Would nine o'clock work?

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-My body number one?
-[cell phone whooshes]

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You have to erase Mom
from your body's memory.

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And for that,
you gotta sleep with ten women.

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-With ten?
-Mm-hmm.

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[chuckles] With ten! Where the hell
did you get that crazy idea?

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-[Álex] I'm sending you the link.
-But what?

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[chuckles] This is all nonsense,
seriously.

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Uh, first off, I don't need
to erase anything about your mom, okay?

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She's been completely erased by now.
Did it on her own.

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You're lying.
You have to take the test at the end.

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And I actually like being a bachelor.
[clears throat]

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What test?

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Hey, Dad, why even get up in the morning?

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You're like the living dead.
You've given up.

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I need a good role model.
Someone to look up to.

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But ten women's too much.

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Really, I've only been
with four or five in total.

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Everything moves quicker now.

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Dad, YOLO!

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[Santi] YOLO?

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You only live once.

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HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN YOUR EX?
WHO ENDED THE RELATIONSHIP?

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SHE DID. I DIDN'T EXPECT IT AT ALL

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[sighs] Hmm.

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I just don't… don't understand it.

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I don't see the need for it at all.

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All right, we'll just carry on
like everyone else then.

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[Raúl] Mm-hmm.

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And we'll just let this hang
over us until we become distant.

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Yeah, like every other damn couple.

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It doesn't matter. Forget it.
You're just not emotionally ready now.

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-I've lived more than you.
-Hey!

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Hey, cool it, Obi-Wan, okay?
I've been around the block.

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I mean… I… I've seen some crazy…
wow, crazy stuff.

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It's very difficult to find people
who are mature and sure of themselves.

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-You think I'm immature?
-You're scared shitless.

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[Raúl] Scared of what?

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Admit it, darling.
You couldn't handle an open relationship.

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I mean, come on. Can you really
see me doing stuff with another girl?

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Yeah, why not?

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Yeah, with some young 20-something girl
with perky tits and a tight ass,

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both of us bare naked,
writhing in bed, sweating it out, huh?

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-Is that a yes?
-No, don't put words in my mouth.

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Oh, because I was getting
all horny listening to that.

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-We'll talk it through.
-What is there to talk about?

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I'm going. I'm late already.

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-[gasps] I said no, okay?
-[door closes]

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[whirring]

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I made coffee, and I just went
and bought some fresh croissants.

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-Don't buy me this junk. I'll eat it all.
-[chuckles] Wanna go out tonight?

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Mmm! Let's save money
and have dinner here.

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I bought these vegan hamburgers that'll
make you forget about steak forever.

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Save for what?
I'm sure they'll start fighting over me.

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Enjoy your freedom.
Come on and reinvent yourself.

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Didn't you always say
you never had time for anything? Hmm?

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Read, hang out with your buddies, hmm.

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Install the new kitchen faucet.
I don't know, live a little.

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What? Faucet?

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Ta-da! This faucet.

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What's wrong with the one we've got?

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This one's like those industrial ones.
It stretches like a garden hose.

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-[both laugh]
-Good morning.

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-Good morning, Patri.
-She doesn't know, hmm?

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Hmm, there's no need to tell her.
She may quit.

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[all chuckle]

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Wanna spend the day together
and go shopping?

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Oh, more spending.

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[Pedro] Well, we could just walk
and hold hands. That's free.

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Hmm. I'm meeting Cynthia. She was gifted
a beauty treatment and invited me along.

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-How nice of your sister, the influencer.
-Hmm.

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-Content creator. Thank you.
-All right.

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[groans]

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-Are you off today, sir?
-Taking a sick day.

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Ah. Enjoy it. You work so hard, sir.

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Yeah.

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Okay, when would you say that
your sex problems first arose?

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You said we were going
to buy a new coffee maker.

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Our sex life was washed away
a long time ago by two tsunamis.

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Iris and Ulises, our two children.

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The one with the pods.

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And he has the sex drive of a plant.

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It's 'cause she wants it when I'm tired.
I'm under a lot of stress.

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-I'm a police officer.
-[laughs] Local.

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Jaywalking, public drinking,
parking violations.

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And she's a driving instructor,
which is a whole lot more exciting.

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Okay, I'm gonna stop you there.

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First and foremost, no personal attacks.

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Remember that you're on the same team.

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Like many couples,
you have a communication problem.

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My first recommendation is that you talk.

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[chuckles] Well, we do talk.
It's the only thing we do.

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There's a lot of social pressure
about how much sex a couple should have,

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but the important thing is quality.

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And for that, it's important to talk.
To talk about sex without fear.

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About each other's tastes,
about what it is you miss.

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Well, fucking.

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[doctor] I had a patient
who was strongly feminist,

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and she was mortified when she was
turned on by being called a slut in bed.

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If it turns you on,
what's the problem with your partner

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calling you a "slut"?

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[exhales] None at all. If she likes it.

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You'd be surprised
by how many men who are hetero

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would like to be fingered
in the anus by their partner.

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But they don't dare to ask.

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-Would you like me to finger you in your…
-No. Not really, no.

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[Esther] Hmm.

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Is that something you'd like?

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Well, like to, no, but…

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You see that? You're talking now.

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Oh, my God! Patricia, excuse me.

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Sorry, need to come in here?

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No, no. Go on, go on.
There is more bathrooms.

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[glass squeaks]

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-[clicks]
-[whirring]

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RELIGION FOR SHEEP

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-Oh, I didn't know you were here.
-No problem.

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Keep on vacuuming. I'll read upstairs.

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[whirring]

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[under breath] Motherfucker.

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Friends, the next step is very easy.

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Now that we've finished
installing the faucet,

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let's check the connection with the valve
that supplies water to the faucet.

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-It's very easy.
-[coughs]

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[sighs] All done.

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And as you can see, it works perfectly.

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-There's no water coming out.
-[grunting]

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No leaks at all, no drips.
In short, no issues at all.

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-Shut up, asshole.
-[Patri] Are you okay, sir?

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-Do you need any help?
-[Pedro grunts]

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[clattering]

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[grunts] This damn faucet
doesn't work at all.

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Oh, I'll take care of it. Don't worry.

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-Oh, so you know how to fix a faucet.
-[tools tapping]

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[Pedro sighs]

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This is the first time it's happened.

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And it had to be me?

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Do you, I don't know, wanna try it again?

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Sweetie, if I want bad sex,
I already have my husband.

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[man] Seventeen years.

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SWINGING

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Seventeen years of happiness.
And suddenly, she's a different person.

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It's like she's transformed into my enemy.

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There's, like, I don't know,

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all this silence at home,
all this tension.

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Um, hello?

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Yes. Ah, yes, sorry, Jesús.

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I'm taking some notes for the lawsuit.

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Okay, on her phone,
I saw the list of calls,

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and I saw she'd called her cousin Almudena
160 times in a month.

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-I didn't believe it.
-Mm-hmm.

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[Jesús] Plus, I have her number,
and it's different. Ha!

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She made such a scene.
She said it was invasion of her privacy.

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You bitch, you're the one cheating on me.

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-Of course. Uh-huh.
-Sure.

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-[cell phone vibrates]
-[Jesús scoffs]

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-Excuse me.
-Hmm.

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Tell me.

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[Raúl] What are you doing?
I've missed you.

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Working now. You all right?

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Yes, yes. [chuckles]

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You like me calling you out
of the blue like this?

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-Hey, I've gotta go. I'm with a client.
-With a client?

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-Like, at the office or--
-[line beeps]

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-Uh, uh, Luz?
-I assume you've paid for the hotel?

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-Thank you.
-All right.

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What happened to you, buddy?

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-I think I pulled a muscle in my back.
-What's up, you guys?

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Where you been, macho man?

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Uh, sorting out some business.
Where's Duna?

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Picking her kid up. He's sick. Go on,
serve your friends and your parents.

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But make sure to charge them though.
I know you.

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Hey.

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-How are you, sweetie? Mmm! Mmm!
-What are you doing here?

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-We've started going on morning walks.
-I'm a guy who needs incentives, my boy.

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-[Raúl] Ah!
-[laughs]

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Look what I brought you.

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Mama, I really don't need any food.
I own a restaurant.

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Well, then why don't you just share them
with the boys?

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Hi, guys. Empanadas with tuna.

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-Thank you.
-Bravo!

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Oh, hurry, warm these up.
In the oven, don't nuke them.

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Come on, please, I gotta work now.

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But we came to see you.
You never come see us.

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Okay, Dad, I've been busy for a while.

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Come here. Give it to me, you ingrate.
Thanks, Pili.

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They're tuna.

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[father] Have you seen your mom's ass
in those?

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-She's got the ass of a goddess.
-[laughing]

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Dad, come on. Get out.

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-[Pili] I love you.
-[Raúl] See you later.

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-[laughing]
-[Luis] Mmm!

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Hey, your parents are proof
that happy marriages do exist.

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Look at 'em. I like that.

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Damn, yeah, that's true.

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A different generation. Doesn't count.

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-Of course they count. They count more.
-No, they don't count.

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What are you up to tonight?
Wanna go get drinks?

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No, I can't.

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-Me neither.
-I have a date with Ángeles.

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From Tinder? You're back for more?

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Oh, no,
Álex convinced her to see me again.

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Oh, Álex got you another date.

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-She worries about me. The poor thing.
-Yeah.

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Yeah, or she wants to turn your place
into a love shack, you know. [laughing]

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You're such pig. She's only 16 years old.

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-She gets laid more than you.
-Well, that's not so hard.

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No, my kid doesn't think like you,
you perverts.

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Come on, Santi, accept it.
Álex is messing around. No big deal.

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Don't say that. My God!

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-She is. She's already punched the V card.
-God damn.

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-Stuffed the turkey, popped the cherry.
-[laughing]

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Plugged in the pen drive.

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[chuckles]

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-[Raúl] Um…
-You're really so disgusting.

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You all are a bunch of sickos.

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You know that? Every one of you is.

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-Hey, she's gonna do a little banging.
-Like I said, sick.

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[Raúl] Oh!

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LORETO'S DRIVING SCHOOL

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[man] Garage number 11, opening up.

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[Luis] Thank you, you're very kind.

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-[laughing]
-Let's go.

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Hope nobody sees us.
I can't believe we're doing this.

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Straight from the garage to the bedroom.

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It's so sad coming here with your husband.

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-Didn't you want some privacy?
-Yes, I know, but this is so sad.

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-[laughing]
-A bit.

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Hey, we can always turn around.

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No way. Your mom's watching the kids
for once. Come on, let's do it.

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All right,
the therapist said we should talk.

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-Correct.
-About sex.

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Well, let's talk about sex then.

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All right. Uh, okay,
but don't take things the wrong way.

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-No, no, go on.
-Okay.

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Do you have any sexual urges
throughout the day?

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I mean, okay,
I'll just… I'll kick things off.

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Do you masturbate?

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I jerk off constantly, Esther.

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Where at?

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I don't know, shower, work, anywhere.

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-At work?
-Mm-hmm. In the patrol car.

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When, uh, Julián goes for coffee, I do it.

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Um, eww, that's so disgusting.

12:46.680 --> 12:47.680
Well, you asked.

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Okay, what do you think of when you…

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-I think of you.
-Luis.

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And who do you think about?

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Well, I think about other guys.

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[scoffs] But now I'll start thinking
about you.

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You can be my new fantasy.

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Oh, okay, okay. Well, I don't mind.

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-You like that I think of others?
-Why would I like that?

13:02.160 --> 13:03.160
Some people like that.

13:03.240 --> 13:05.000
Would you like it
if I thought about others?

13:05.079 --> 13:06.560
Why are you asking the same things?

13:06.640 --> 13:07.920
Don't know. It came to mind now.

13:08.000 --> 13:11.079
Luis, I need you
to take more initiative, okay?

13:11.160 --> 13:13.719
I mean, when you feel horny, come find me.

13:13.800 --> 13:15.800
If I'm in the kitchen, we'll do it there.

13:15.880 --> 13:17.040
And the kids?

13:17.120 --> 13:20.000
The kids need new hobbies.
They spend too much time at home, dear.

13:20.079 --> 13:22.320
Yeah, but we've got two,
and hobbies are expensive.

13:22.400 --> 13:25.719
Look, really, this doesn't…
it doesn't make any sense at all.

13:25.800 --> 13:28.160
I'm like… like naked here,
right here at a hotel.

13:28.240 --> 13:30.440
We came here to fuck,
and I'm not even horny.

13:30.520 --> 13:32.880
No, me either,
because you're telling me off.

13:33.400 --> 13:34.560
[sighs]

13:37.599 --> 13:39.040
Should we go in the pool?

13:41.520 --> 13:43.719
No way. I'm not going in there.

13:50.160 --> 13:52.839
[Ángeles] Honest, I couldn't
be bothered to go out with you again,

13:52.920 --> 13:55.920
but you really amused me
with your groveling. [laughs]

13:56.000 --> 13:58.040
-Yeah. I was very insistent, huh?
-Hmm.

13:58.120 --> 14:00.160
I'm not normally that annoying.

14:00.240 --> 14:03.440
I said to myself, "Fuck,
I must really turn him on." [laughs]

14:03.520 --> 14:06.199
But let me tell you,
having your self-esteem boosted at my age,

14:06.280 --> 14:08.079
well, it really feels so great.

14:08.160 --> 14:09.360
Yeah, well, good to hear.

14:09.440 --> 14:12.280
Uh, because you know, that isn't…
that's really not my style.

14:12.360 --> 14:13.520
It isn't. Seriously.

14:13.599 --> 14:16.520
So, Santi, tell me about you.
What are you looking for exactly?

14:16.599 --> 14:20.800
Uh, well, well, I…

14:20.880 --> 14:21.880
-I was married.
-Oh.

14:21.959 --> 14:23.120
But she's dead now.

14:23.199 --> 14:25.160
-Oof!
-[Santi] She died in a car accident.

14:25.240 --> 14:27.719
-She crashed head-on into a bus.
-Oof!

14:27.800 --> 14:30.160
School bus.
No kids were hurt. Oof, you know.

14:30.240 --> 14:32.120
But anyway, must've seen it on the news.

14:32.199 --> 14:34.120
-It was a big tragedy.
-Uh-uh.

14:34.199 --> 14:36.280
No, actually,
it wasn't on the news after all.

14:36.360 --> 14:39.719
It wasn't on because there was an attack,

14:39.800 --> 14:42.400
an important vote or something.
I don't know. Pandemic.

14:42.479 --> 14:45.520
Something happened that day
and took the spotlight off of it. Yeah.

14:45.599 --> 14:47.880
Yeah. I'm sorry. How hard.

14:47.959 --> 14:49.360
She can really be a bitch. Karma.

14:49.439 --> 14:50.800
Oh. [laughs]

14:50.880 --> 14:53.760
Um, got any kids?

14:53.839 --> 14:56.839
Uh, yes, a daughter.
She's, uh, 16 years old.

14:56.920 --> 15:00.120
But you know, I barely see her.
She has a life of her own and…

15:00.199 --> 15:04.479
Mm, yeah. We both know that, right?
You know, kids at that age.

15:05.599 --> 15:06.839
And what are they like?

15:06.920 --> 15:08.120
They're a different generation.

15:08.199 --> 15:10.120
They're much more grown-up
than we were back then.

15:10.719 --> 15:12.800
More grown-up, what do you mean by that?

15:12.880 --> 15:15.760
[chuckles] Look, Santi,
I lost my virginity when I was 22,

15:15.839 --> 15:18.880
and these little pricks are
having orgies when they're 15 years old.

15:19.920 --> 15:21.120
-Orgies?
-[Álex] Hmm.

15:22.240 --> 15:23.240
Orgies.

15:23.319 --> 15:25.839
They see sex in a different way
is what I mean.

15:26.439 --> 15:29.240
But, listen, I do think
it's a very healthy thing, right?

15:29.319 --> 15:30.240
Your table is ready.

15:30.319 --> 15:32.880
-Okay. Ángeles, I gotta go.
-What?

15:32.959 --> 15:35.240
Yes, uh, nice seeing you.
I had such a great time,

15:35.319 --> 15:38.360
but I've just gotta… I have an emergency,
and I'm sorry. I gotta go.

15:38.439 --> 15:41.199
You're fucking kidding, right? Santi!

15:44.839 --> 15:46.280
What's going on? What's going on?

15:46.360 --> 15:48.760
-Holy shit, Dad. What's wrong, hmm?
-Let's see.

15:49.240 --> 15:50.599
No, just… [exhales]

15:50.680 --> 15:54.560
I heard… I heard a weird noise,
and I was worried about you, you know.

15:54.640 --> 15:56.040
And your date?

15:56.120 --> 15:57.880
She… she had to leave.

15:57.959 --> 16:00.199
-She had a headache.
-You talked about Mom, didn't--

16:00.280 --> 16:01.359
What smells so weird?

16:03.319 --> 16:04.280
[door closes]

16:05.079 --> 16:06.199
[door opens]

16:08.560 --> 16:09.760
[door closes]

16:14.400 --> 16:16.359
-You feel okay?
-Of course.

16:16.439 --> 16:18.359
-What's this, huh?
-Homework.

16:18.439 --> 16:20.439
[chuckles]

16:22.120 --> 16:23.599
I'm so very proud of you, you know.

16:23.680 --> 16:26.240
Keep studying.
Study hard, honey, study hard.

16:26.319 --> 16:27.199
[clears throat]

16:28.319 --> 16:29.199
[sighs]

16:32.000 --> 16:34.160
-[sizzling]
-[Pedro] God damn it.

16:34.240 --> 16:35.160
[gasps]

16:38.240 --> 16:41.400
POSTS

16:41.479 --> 16:42.439
Hello!

16:42.520 --> 16:45.719
I'm here in this big house,
seeing my sister.

16:45.800 --> 16:48.839
Well, well,
and who do we have here in the kitchen?

16:48.920 --> 16:51.400
It's my bro-in-law.
He's made dinner for us.

16:51.479 --> 16:52.319
Don't film me.

16:52.400 --> 16:55.000
Well, he's in a bad mood
because he got fired from work.

16:56.160 --> 16:57.959
-So you told her?
-[Daniela] Cynthia, not now.

16:58.040 --> 16:59.719
Relax, I'll edit it out. It's not live.

16:59.800 --> 17:01.959
-[Daniela] Mmm!
-What happened to your face?

17:02.040 --> 17:04.399
Mm. It's a bit swollen from the treatment.

17:04.480 --> 17:06.560
Yes, but you're gonna love it.
Tomorrow, baby face.

17:07.159 --> 17:09.880
Hey, let me know about Tenerife
'cause I gotta give an answer.

17:09.960 --> 17:11.520
-[Daniela] Mm.
-Are you coming with me?

17:11.599 --> 17:12.640
What's this about Tenerife?

17:12.720 --> 17:15.200
She's invited to stay at this hotel
this weekend. We can come.

17:15.280 --> 17:17.960
-You up for it? There's a spa.
-We'll think about it.

17:18.040 --> 17:20.000
-Now that you have time.
-Why did they fire you?

17:20.720 --> 17:24.119
Are you going to stay here for dinner,
or are you leaving?

17:24.200 --> 17:25.119
Oh.

17:25.200 --> 17:27.560
She'll go. She'll go. She'll go. Come on.

17:27.640 --> 17:31.040
I mean, who's gonna hire him
now because of his old age?

17:31.120 --> 17:33.399
[laughing]

17:33.480 --> 17:35.320
-[Daniela] Love you.
-[Cynthia] Love you more.

17:35.399 --> 17:36.960
Honey, I'm here.

17:37.040 --> 17:38.640
-Hello.
-Mmm!

17:39.919 --> 17:41.159
What's this?

17:41.240 --> 17:42.240
Open it.

17:48.720 --> 17:52.280
"Spreading the Love,
a Guide to Open Relationships."

17:52.360 --> 17:53.200
-[Luz] Mm-hmm.
-Hmm.

17:53.280 --> 17:56.399
Look here. This is my favorite one.
"Instinctive Promiscuity."

17:56.480 --> 17:58.440
-The possibilities are endless.
-Hmm.

17:58.520 --> 18:01.040
An emotionally polyamorous couple

18:01.120 --> 18:04.880
or sexually polyamorous
or romantic anarchists, poly-fidelity…

18:04.960 --> 18:06.560
I want you to meet my parents.

18:07.640 --> 18:09.680
What? Isn't it a bit soon?

18:09.760 --> 18:10.600
What do you mean?

18:10.680 --> 18:13.200
We've been dating for three years.
I think it's about time.

18:14.159 --> 18:17.399
Yes. Well, I… okay, at the right moment.

18:17.480 --> 18:20.440
Look here. "Basic rules."

18:20.520 --> 18:23.240
"One. Start with a solid relationship."

18:24.200 --> 18:25.760
"Two. Avoid being jealous."

18:25.840 --> 18:27.440
That's something we'll need to work on.

18:27.520 --> 18:29.480
Wanna have dinner with them tomorrow?

18:29.560 --> 18:32.399
Oh, but tomorrow I wanted to take you
to this place that's amazing.

18:32.480 --> 18:35.440
Didn't you say that to have an open
relationship things gotta be solid?

18:36.080 --> 18:36.919
Yeah.

18:37.000 --> 18:39.560
A relationship isn't solid
until your girlfriend bites the bullet

18:39.640 --> 18:41.960
and meets her in-laws. It's the way it is.

18:44.880 --> 18:46.840
Okay, well, let's see them tomorrow.

18:46.919 --> 18:48.919
But make it early, okay? I have work.

18:49.000 --> 18:50.200
You'll love them. Ha!

19:02.679 --> 19:03.679
[groans]

19:06.679 --> 19:07.919
[exhales]

19:18.800 --> 19:19.960
[Esther groans]

19:23.320 --> 19:24.800
Good morning, my little slut.

19:26.919 --> 19:28.240
Look what I've got.

19:28.880 --> 19:29.880
All for you.

19:32.520 --> 19:33.440
[grunts]

19:36.200 --> 19:37.800
-What are you doing?
-Huh?

19:40.480 --> 19:41.399
What the hell!

19:47.320 --> 19:49.800
[pop music playing]

19:51.000 --> 19:52.480
[chuckles]

19:52.560 --> 19:55.120
9,112 VIEWS

19:55.200 --> 19:56.440
"Starting out my day."

19:56.520 --> 19:58.560
-[hands pattering]
-[grunts, inhales]

19:58.640 --> 20:01.240
[groans] Oh, God, sweet Jesus.

20:01.320 --> 20:03.240
No, no, no, hang on!
Stop, stop, stop, stop!

20:21.480 --> 20:22.520
[sighs]

20:23.919 --> 20:25.480
-Phone higher.
-[camera shutter clicking]

20:25.560 --> 20:26.880
You'll give me a double chin, no.

20:26.960 --> 20:29.000
Your legs look longer,
because of the perspective.

20:29.080 --> 20:30.000
[camera shutter clicks]

20:30.080 --> 20:32.760
-Can you see the brand though?
-[Patri] Yes, yes. Perfect.

20:34.200 --> 20:35.520
You getting paid to promote that?

20:35.600 --> 20:37.520
Not yet, no. Not yet.

20:38.120 --> 20:41.120
Wait, Patri.
I'm gonna get changed, okay? Ow!

20:41.960 --> 20:44.480
-[Patri hums]
-Hmm.

20:45.720 --> 20:47.520
[Patri] Not working today either, sir?

20:48.560 --> 20:51.520
No, uh, I took the week off, actually.

20:51.600 --> 20:54.120
Oh, how nice. You work so hard.

20:56.679 --> 20:57.800
[chuckles]

21:03.240 --> 21:05.560
Hey, why are you making
the maid take photos?

21:05.640 --> 21:07.640
A photographer costs a lot, you know.

21:07.720 --> 21:09.600
Look, honey, what am I here for?

21:10.399 --> 21:11.320
You serious?

21:11.399 --> 21:13.440
[upbeat music playing]

21:13.520 --> 21:15.960
[Pedro] Jesus! Careful.
You'll get yourself killed.

21:16.040 --> 21:18.960
-[camera shutter clicking]
-Try to look out for cars.

21:21.120 --> 21:22.880
-Good.
-[shutter clicks]

21:22.960 --> 21:24.600
How's that? A bit closer.

21:24.679 --> 21:27.880
-Try turning.
-Good. Come on, one more.

21:28.480 --> 21:29.320
[exhales]

21:31.640 --> 21:33.840
Come on, I mean,
we're not 15 years old anymore.

21:33.919 --> 21:37.560
No, no, sir. This way, please.
Great. Yes, thank you.

21:37.640 --> 21:40.120
-[camera shutter clicks]
-Yeah, excellent angle. That's good.

21:45.000 --> 21:47.120
Oh! Oops, sorry. Sorry.

21:47.800 --> 21:49.320
-[Pedro] That's it.
-[shutter clicking]

21:49.919 --> 21:51.439
Right there. Yeah, that's amazing!

21:52.040 --> 21:55.120
Hey, you!
Can't you see we're recording right now?

21:55.200 --> 21:56.520
-Come on, knock it off.
-Excuse me.

21:56.600 --> 21:59.000
-[Pedro] I asked you to… come on!
-Calm down. Whoa!

22:02.200 --> 22:03.800
But she said take the initiative.

22:03.880 --> 22:05.640
-Literally.
-And I was still sleeping.

22:05.720 --> 22:07.120
-That's a kind of rape.
-Wow.

22:07.200 --> 22:09.720
You said, "If you're hard, go for it."
Isn't that what you said?

22:09.800 --> 22:11.040
[doctor] Sex is more beautiful

22:11.120 --> 22:13.560
if your partner is also conscious
during the act though.

22:13.640 --> 22:14.560
[Esther] Mm-hmm.

22:16.080 --> 22:19.240
Then in 24 hours,
I've gone from asexual to rapist.

22:19.320 --> 22:20.159
I just don't get it.

22:20.240 --> 22:21.480
Well, it's not that difficult.

22:21.560 --> 22:23.520
You could say good morning first.
Be polite.

22:23.600 --> 22:25.760
-I said, "Good morning, you little slut."
-Little slut?

22:25.840 --> 22:27.159
"Look what I've got for you."

22:27.240 --> 22:30.080
Look, if I don't respond,
it's because I didn't hear you, hmm?

22:30.159 --> 22:32.000
You could also make me coffee,
to wake me up.

22:32.080 --> 22:34.640
Well, how long do you think
an erection lasts at my age?

22:34.720 --> 22:35.800
I don't know. You tell me.

22:35.880 --> 22:39.200
I don't know. I… I give up.
I'm just… I'm just so lost right now.

22:41.399 --> 22:42.240
[exhales]

22:44.159 --> 22:46.640
You really fucked my date up.
Thanks, guys.

22:46.720 --> 22:47.919
I hurried home in terror,

22:48.000 --> 22:50.600
and Álex was sitting there studying,
like an angel.

22:50.679 --> 22:53.679
Okay, she heard you arrive,
and the boyfriend jumped out the window.

22:53.760 --> 22:56.000
We live on the fifth floor.
What is he, Batman?

22:56.080 --> 22:58.320
Ah, don't worry,
just go out again with Ángeles.

22:58.399 --> 22:59.840
With Ángeles? No. No, guys.

22:59.919 --> 23:01.840
It's the second time
I've ditched her, poor thing.

23:01.919 --> 23:03.399
-No fixing that.
-[cell phone ringing]

23:03.480 --> 23:06.280
Who is that? Ángeles?

23:06.360 --> 23:08.080
-Pick it up.
-No, no, no, no, no.

23:08.159 --> 23:09.040
You should answer it.

23:09.120 --> 23:10.720
Turn the speaker on. Turn the--

23:10.800 --> 23:12.360
[Santi] I don't want to, damn it!

23:12.439 --> 23:14.040
Ángeles! Ángeles. Hello!

23:14.120 --> 23:16.520
I… I… I'm… I'm sor…

23:16.600 --> 23:18.880
I'm very sorry
about the other day, really.

23:18.960 --> 23:22.159
Look, I… I…
I have to tell you that I have this tick.

23:22.240 --> 23:25.840
And I have to check the gas stove,
and I got all anxious about that.

23:25.919 --> 23:28.480
The truth is that I just couldn't…

23:29.760 --> 23:30.760
What?

23:31.919 --> 23:35.200
-What?
-Uh, okay, perfect. Yes.

23:35.280 --> 23:37.399
Well, send me your address.

23:37.480 --> 23:39.000
Got it, yes. [chuckles]

23:39.080 --> 23:40.560
Okay, wonderful.

23:40.640 --> 23:43.880
Okay, okay, okay.
See you soon. See you soon. [sighs]

23:43.960 --> 23:44.800
And?

23:45.399 --> 23:48.360
She… she said I should come over
and stop playing games.

23:48.439 --> 23:49.640
-Hell yeah!
-[Luis] Santi!

23:49.720 --> 23:51.280
They're gonna fix your phimosis.

23:51.360 --> 23:52.800
Hey, come on, please, stop, stop.

23:52.880 --> 23:55.000
Are you all gonna freak out
every time I go on a date?

23:55.080 --> 23:56.080
[both] Yeah.

23:57.080 --> 23:59.080
-[laughing]
-[cell phone chimes]

23:59.159 --> 24:02.080
-[chuckles]
-What should we do? We could hit the town.

24:02.159 --> 24:05.520
Uh, no, no, today's impossible.
Got this thing at home that…

24:05.600 --> 24:08.560
I'm going to dinner with Luz.
I'm introducing her to my parents.

24:14.200 --> 24:15.200
What?

24:19.760 --> 24:21.880
They've been married for 44 years.

24:21.960 --> 24:25.080
Forty-four years.
Ha! Easier said than done.

24:25.159 --> 24:26.480
And they're still happy. [exhales]

24:26.560 --> 24:28.960
They even still have sex.
Can you believe it?

24:29.040 --> 24:30.399
Thank you for the info.

24:31.439 --> 24:32.280
[Raúl] Mom!

24:32.360 --> 24:34.840
[Pili] Sweetheart! Ramón, it's our boy.

24:34.919 --> 24:37.159
How were the empanadas? They were tuna.

24:37.240 --> 24:38.520
Yes, uh, delicious.

24:38.600 --> 24:41.800
Hey, I'm gonna come over for dinner
to introduce you to Luz.

24:41.880 --> 24:43.520
-[Pili] Which Luz?
-[Ramón] His girlfriend.

24:43.600 --> 24:45.760
-[Pili] Oh, Sol?
-[Ramón] That was a different one.

24:45.840 --> 24:48.600
-There in half an hour.
-[Pili] Oh, today? No! No, no, no, no, no.

24:48.679 --> 24:50.520
-We… we can't today.
-Why not?

24:51.520 --> 24:53.640
-Mama.
-[Pili] We're going to a concert.

24:53.720 --> 24:55.439
We're going with Aunt Alicia
and Uncle Javier

24:55.520 --> 24:56.840
to the National Auditorium.

24:56.919 --> 24:58.600
But since
when do you like classical music?

24:58.679 --> 25:00.480
[Ramón] Hang up, Pili. We'll be late.

25:00.560 --> 25:02.840
[Pili] This Sunday.
Come on Sunday for stew.

25:02.919 --> 25:04.919
Kisses, sweetie-pie. I love you.

25:06.399 --> 25:08.360
What? We're not going, huh?

25:08.439 --> 25:11.439
-They're going to a concert.
-Why didn't you ask them before?

25:11.520 --> 25:14.080
I never schedule with my parents.
They're always home.

25:14.159 --> 25:16.640
Let's go. We should get a drink now.

25:16.720 --> 25:19.360
But you-- hey, what a beautiful marriage
they've got, huh?

25:19.439 --> 25:21.439
-Uh-huh.
-They even go out to concerts and stuff.

25:21.520 --> 25:22.439
Forty-four years.

25:22.520 --> 25:25.480
-[Luz] I know.
-And they hold hands in public.

25:26.320 --> 25:28.679
Tricolor quinoa with mixed vegetables,

25:28.760 --> 25:30.439
a stew with seitan protein

25:30.520 --> 25:33.560
and eggplant pâté with crudités.

25:33.640 --> 25:37.000
And for our drink, kombucha.

25:37.080 --> 25:39.760
Let's see. That's it. Ginger, my favorite.

25:39.840 --> 25:43.800
This is all accompanied
by this marvelous cardboard flatbread,

25:43.880 --> 25:45.360
which is so good.

25:46.159 --> 25:48.280
Well, at least it's edible. [chuckles]

25:48.360 --> 25:51.960
Look, really, if you don't like it,
use it to fix a wonky table instead.

25:52.040 --> 25:53.840
I don't know who makes this bread.

25:53.919 --> 25:57.640
However, since they're in Germany,
they won't find out. [inhales]

25:57.720 --> 26:01.040
Mm. I've gotta go.
My boyfriend is giving me the look.

26:01.760 --> 26:02.720
Bye.

26:03.679 --> 26:05.520
-Mmm.
-[Pedro] We having this for dinner?

26:05.600 --> 26:06.880
Or was it just for the video?

26:06.960 --> 26:09.159
Patri made it for us with all her love.

26:09.240 --> 26:10.800
I've worn her out reading vegan recipes.

26:10.880 --> 26:14.120
-[chuckling] Poor little thing.
-[sighs]

26:16.919 --> 26:19.080
Hey, weren't you going out
with your friends now?

26:19.159 --> 26:21.520
People say that work absorbs you,
but that's a lie.

26:21.600 --> 26:23.080
It's life that absorbs you.

26:23.159 --> 26:25.320
-What?
-Everyone has their families now.

26:25.399 --> 26:28.080
Nothing's like it was before,
when we did what we wanted.

26:28.159 --> 26:30.840
[clears throat] Growing old really sucks.

26:30.919 --> 26:33.439
-[sighs]
-Honey, I think you're in shock.

26:33.520 --> 26:34.919
Don't overthink it all.

26:35.000 --> 26:37.840
-[slurps, sighs]
-[Daniela] This one's so good. I love it.

26:40.880 --> 26:42.640
[Pedro] Hey,
why are you always on your toes?

26:42.720 --> 26:44.520
It makes my legs look skinny.

26:45.159 --> 26:47.600
-Wow!
-And why are you laughing at the sky?

26:47.679 --> 26:50.280
Well, I'm quickly getting more
and more followers, smart-ass.

26:50.360 --> 26:52.800
People love my style. Is that a problem?

26:52.880 --> 26:55.880
No, not at all.
As long as you're entertained.

26:58.640 --> 26:59.560
[doorbell buzzes]

27:01.000 --> 27:02.640
[sighs, clears throat]

27:02.720 --> 27:03.560
[sniffles]

27:09.560 --> 27:11.960
Ángeles, your date's here.

27:14.159 --> 27:15.120
How are you?

27:17.120 --> 27:19.760
Uh, that's your mother, huh? Uh--

27:19.840 --> 27:20.760
[Ángeles gasps]

27:22.159 --> 27:23.439
What's your problem, huh?

27:23.520 --> 27:25.640
-Do you like teasing me or what?
-Uh, mm--

27:30.159 --> 27:31.040
Hey, wait, wait, wait!

27:31.120 --> 27:33.600
Uh, it's just
I haven't been honest with you.

27:34.240 --> 27:36.399
What? You're married, huh?
Look, I don't care

27:36.480 --> 27:39.199
No, no, no, no, no. I'm divorced now,
but my ex isn't really dead.

27:39.280 --> 27:40.919
Okay, relax. She'll die sooner or later.

27:41.000 --> 27:42.320
No, no, no. Let me say something.

27:42.399 --> 27:44.840
Uh, so we split up three years ago.

27:44.919 --> 27:46.320
-Because she cheated on me.
-Hmm.

27:46.399 --> 27:48.760
[Santi] I forgave her,
but she moved in with the other guy.

27:48.840 --> 27:50.840
And even though
I truly hate her with all my soul,

27:50.919 --> 27:54.640
every single day I hope she'll crawl back
and beg me to forgive her,

27:54.720 --> 27:58.120
because the saddest thing of all
is that I'm still in love with her.

27:58.199 --> 28:00.840
And, hmm, how does that affect us two?

28:00.919 --> 28:03.600
Hmm. I don't know.
What are you looking for?

28:03.679 --> 28:06.640
-[chuckles] An orgasm.
-Well, then that doesn't affect us.

28:06.720 --> 28:07.760
[panting]

28:09.439 --> 28:11.600
-[moaning]
-[grunting]

28:15.040 --> 28:17.919
Oh! Hang on. Hang on, hot shot.
Why are you in such a hurry?

28:18.000 --> 28:19.640
-Eh?
-I'm gonna need some lube.

28:19.720 --> 28:21.520
I think it's on my nightstand.

28:21.600 --> 28:23.399
-[moaning]
-Oh, okay.

28:23.480 --> 28:26.480
Oh, hurry up, for God's sake!
I want you in me!

28:27.520 --> 28:28.600
Got it.

28:28.679 --> 28:29.800
Rub it on me, could you?

28:29.880 --> 28:32.560
Uh, yes, sure.

28:32.640 --> 28:35.320
-Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
-[moaning]

28:36.720 --> 28:40.760
-Ah, now! Ah, now! Do it now!
-[laughs] Yeah, now?

28:40.840 --> 28:42.520
[moaning]

28:42.600 --> 28:44.679
-Oh! Ow! No! Stop, stop, stop!
-What?

28:44.760 --> 28:46.959
-Oh! It stings. Oh! It stings. It stings!
-What?

28:47.040 --> 28:49.080
-It's burning me! It's stinging!
-[gasps] All right.

28:49.159 --> 28:50.840
Oh, my God, fuck you.

28:50.919 --> 28:52.760
Ah! Oh, holy shit, holy shit!

28:52.840 --> 28:54.879
-[TV playing]
-[yawns]

28:54.959 --> 28:56.040
[Ángeles groans]

28:58.080 --> 28:59.320
[gasps]

28:59.399 --> 29:01.600
MOISTURIZING CREAM FOR DRY FEET

29:01.679 --> 29:02.959
LUBRICANT

29:03.560 --> 29:06.120
No fucking way. Oh.

29:06.199 --> 29:09.720
Fuck me! A 30-euro cover charge.
Is dinner included or what?

29:10.560 --> 29:12.600
Hello. Two gin and tonics, please.

29:14.080 --> 29:16.120
Let's see. As you seem a bit unsure,

29:16.199 --> 29:20.199
I thought it'd be good for us to debut
our new relationship in the public arena,

29:20.280 --> 29:21.280
the two of us.

29:21.360 --> 29:24.000
Let's have a drink, see what happens.
And listen--

29:24.080 --> 29:26.240
Wait a minute, wait.
Where have you brought me, Luz?

29:26.320 --> 29:28.040
This is a swingers' club, darling.

29:28.120 --> 29:29.240
-Swingers?
-Yes.

29:29.320 --> 29:32.560
-[Ramón] Hey, there, son.
-[laughing] What are you doing here?

29:32.639 --> 29:33.840
Is this your girlfriend?

29:34.520 --> 29:36.000
Yes, Luz. Uh, hi, there.

29:36.080 --> 29:38.560
I'm making you a stew on Sunday.
That sounds good, huh?

29:38.639 --> 29:41.040
-[Luz] Yes, very much.
-Her stew is stupendous. [laughs]

29:41.760 --> 29:44.480
Mama, you have a… a nipple piercing.

29:44.560 --> 29:46.679
For my birthday.
It was a gift from your father.

29:46.760 --> 29:48.840
[Ramón] It got infected.
She had to take antibiotics.

29:48.919 --> 29:50.600
-It was horrible.
-[Pili] Oh, look.

29:50.679 --> 29:53.439
Oh! We're going in the jacuzzi.
before it gets too crowded to fit in.

29:53.520 --> 29:54.399
See you later.

29:54.480 --> 29:57.959
-You two have fun. See you later.
-Bye, now. See you later. [laughs]

30:01.720 --> 30:04.320
But, uh, I thought they had a concert.

30:07.879 --> 30:09.480
With my aunt and uncle.

30:11.120 --> 30:12.959
Sure. Hmm.

30:13.040 --> 30:14.080
Thank you.

30:14.679 --> 30:18.399
Javier and Alicia. My… my aunt Alicia.

30:20.199 --> 30:21.199
[Luz] Right.

30:36.639 --> 30:37.560
[groans]

30:39.080 --> 30:40.600
I'm home now, Álex!

30:41.600 --> 30:42.720
Álex.

30:42.800 --> 30:44.840
-[Álex] Yeah, be out in a second!
-Huh.

30:44.919 --> 30:47.159
Nothing. Uh, my thing
with Ángeles is over, okay?

30:47.240 --> 30:50.320
Body number one, that one's down.

30:50.399 --> 30:52.439
Double check mark, right? Uh--

30:52.520 --> 30:54.800
That's great, huh? Congratulations.

30:56.679 --> 30:57.639
Who's under there?

30:58.240 --> 31:00.040
Me. I'm studying.

31:00.120 --> 31:02.399
No, no. There. There. What's under there?

31:03.199 --> 31:06.520
Oh, this here?
Mm, they're cushions to hold my laptop up.

31:06.600 --> 31:09.159
Come out. Hey, man, out.

31:09.240 --> 31:11.320
There's no problem, really. Don't worry.

31:23.360 --> 31:24.560
Hmm.

31:27.760 --> 31:29.480
[clears throat] Have a good night.

31:33.720 --> 31:36.080
Well, at least they're fucking. [laughing]

31:36.159 --> 31:37.159
Luz.

31:37.240 --> 31:41.720
[laughing] Okay, do they get a discount,
like, in museums?

31:42.240 --> 31:44.600
My parents are swingers.
The world's going to hell.

31:44.679 --> 31:46.959
Look, now we know
how they've kept up the passion.

31:47.040 --> 31:48.120
What more proof do you need?

31:50.679 --> 31:53.360
That's it. Fuck it all. Wanna get married?

31:53.439 --> 31:54.600
Keep your eyes on the road!

31:54.679 --> 31:57.399
It has chocolate on it
because I hid it inside that coulant.

31:57.480 --> 31:59.480
But since you ordered
violet ice cream, well…

31:59.560 --> 32:02.360
Raúl, you know I'm a divorce lawyer
who's also divorced.

32:02.439 --> 32:04.480
-So?
-Of course not.

32:06.080 --> 32:07.639
Is that what you really want?

32:07.719 --> 32:09.959
No, I wanna go back to a week ago,

32:10.040 --> 32:12.080
to when my girlfriend
didn't want an open relationship

32:12.159 --> 32:14.280
and my mother
was a woman without piercings

32:14.360 --> 32:16.439
who made empanadas with tuna.

32:16.520 --> 32:19.959
Honey, I don't want you to do anything
that makes you uncomfortable.

32:20.040 --> 32:21.679
Look, no, no, no, no. I'm uncomfortable.

32:21.760 --> 32:24.120
I don't want anyone banging my girlfriend.
Call me a weirdo.

32:24.199 --> 32:27.199
I love you,
but I no longer believe in monogamy.

32:27.280 --> 32:30.360
I don't believe in the dirty things that
those people do, people like my parents.

32:30.439 --> 32:32.240
Okay, fine, now what do we do?

32:34.399 --> 32:36.800
But I'm telling you
to do whatever you want to.

32:36.879 --> 32:39.159
But you shouldn't say that.
You should support me, man.

32:39.240 --> 32:40.879
You're not the center of the universe.

32:40.959 --> 32:43.240
I think it's amazing
that you wanna be an influ--

32:43.320 --> 32:45.639
-[sighs] Creator of content.
-[scoffs]

32:45.719 --> 32:48.919
But there are millions. Millions, Daniela.
What makes you so special?

32:49.000 --> 32:51.560
When you talk to me
in that condescending shitty little tone,

32:51.639 --> 32:53.840
as if you were my dad,
I swear I wanna beat your ass.

32:53.919 --> 32:57.760
You're the one that treats me like a fool.
"Reinvent yourself, go with the flow."

32:57.840 --> 32:59.439
-Here I am fixing the faucet.
-[scoffs]

32:59.520 --> 33:01.760
-Taking dopey photos.
-You're the one who offered to do it.

33:01.840 --> 33:03.520
And do not get me started on that trip.

33:03.600 --> 33:06.280
Ah-ah! So you don't wanna go
on vacation with me?

33:06.360 --> 33:07.280
-With you, yes.
-Sure.

33:07.360 --> 33:09.639
But not with your sister,
Miss Treatments, God no.

33:09.719 --> 33:11.639
-But yes, I'll come with you.
-Hey, listen.

33:11.719 --> 33:14.439
If you're pissed because you got fired,
don't take it out on me, okay?

33:14.520 --> 33:17.320
I'm not pissed, my love.
I'm reinventing myself.

33:19.080 --> 33:20.080
Go fuck yourself.

33:20.879 --> 33:22.399
And go get unemployment.

33:23.760 --> 33:25.080
[Pedro sighs]

33:25.159 --> 33:28.040
[Daniela] Don't you worry.
I'll go to Tenerife by myself.

33:30.080 --> 33:31.240
[groans]

33:34.639 --> 33:35.480
Good.

33:35.560 --> 33:36.600
[Daniela] That look hot?

33:36.679 --> 33:38.879
-Care for another margarita?
-Yes, thank you.

33:39.800 --> 33:43.520
Oh, and a shot. Uh, anything.

33:47.719 --> 33:49.439
[Daniela and Cynthia laughing]

33:50.919 --> 33:51.840
[sighs]

33:55.000 --> 33:57.000
[theme music playing]
aughing]