WEBVTT

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A NETFLIX SERIES

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[slow-tempo jazz music playing]

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That's right.

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We are a disaster. We need to deconstruct.

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But then, what do women want?

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I mean, what do women actually want?

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Who are they dying to get into their bed?

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The deconstructed guy

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or the strong hunk
from that cologne advert

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who jumps off a high cliff
and climbs aboard his lover's yacht

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while showing off his package
in his Dolce & Gabbana bathing suit?

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Fuck! If that isn't what they wanted,

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they wouldn't show us the same damn advert
year after year.

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Why don't they advertise cologne
with a househusband

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who's doing the laundry
while making dinner for the kids?

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-Because that's not attractive at all.
-Hmm.

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[Pedro] Balance is fair,

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but it's not erotic.

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They aren't
deconstructing our masculinity.

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They're destroying our virility.

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I invite you to take it back in my course.

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Register at my website, pedroaguilar.com.

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-Enrollment is happening now.
-[snaps fingers]

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-What a loser.
-[Pedro] A loser?

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Look how many views it's had.
It's gone viral, man.

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It's the goddamn truth.

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[scoffs] You're gonna get ripped
to pieces 'cause of this.

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-[chuckles]
-That too.

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[sighs] Thanks, dude.

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I could never thank you enough
for making me do that course.

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No, no, don't you hug me.
Don't you hug me. No way, dude, no!

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I wanted us to become better people,
not for you to get worse.

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I'm gonna free men from slavery.

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I'm gonna be the Moses
of all the sexist pigs.

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I'm gonna get rich.

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[bright classical music playing]

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[Álex laughing]

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Don't laugh. I had a terrible time trying
to explain it to everybody.

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The disabled guy was
giving me the death stare.

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It was your first shag in a bathroom.
I'm super proud of you, Dad.

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-What about the old-fashioned gal?
-Her? In love with life.

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-Living, adventures.
-[cell phone chimes]

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-Adventures with you?
-Hmm.

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She hasn't lived much then.

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Fuck. Now we're
giving each other surprises? [groans]

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Really, I don't see a future
with this one, hmm?

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Well, break up with her.
I got three matches waiting for takeoff.

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-You want me to break it off?
-[chuckles]

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I wanted to do it from the start,
but now it's much later and much harder.

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Just great.

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Sandra, 41, unpredictable, spontaneous,
and in love with life. [laughs]

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Fine. I'll break up.

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You have to be honest but not cruel.

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Direct but not rude.

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Friendly but firm.

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And what exactly does that mean?

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Start by talking about her qualities
you like, what attracted you to her.

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Oh, I get it, yes. Soften her up, right?

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Okay, look. I'm gonna say that--
that we can be friends.

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-You wanna be her friend?
-No.

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Then don't say crap like that.

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Okay. [sighs]

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I'll WhatsApp her,
and you can check it before I send it.

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Dad, face-to-face.

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You know how rare it is for an old man
with your physique to be liked by someone?

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[inhales] Sweetie, do you really love me?

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Because you say some really mean things.

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She deserves
to be broken up with face-to-face.

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Somewhere nice.

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Meanwhile, I'll organize plans
for tonight with Sandra.

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-Tonight?
-So you can move on quickly.

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-Otherwise, you'll get stuck.
-But… [groans]

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Uh…

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-Hi. One minute.
-[groans, exhales]

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-What are you doing here?
-We need to talk.

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Again?

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Look, I don't want more trouble.
What's going on now?

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I've been offered a position
at our office in Amsterdam.

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-400,000 euros a year!
-Whoo-hoo!

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Would you come with me?

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Me?

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-Right now?
-No, in three months.

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Holy shit.

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It's just that
leaving so suddenly… [chuckles]

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But everything's here.

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My work, my friends, my family.

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My love, mm, I don't wanna pressure you.

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I have to give them an answer
as soon as possible.

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What would I do in Amsterdam?

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I can't depend on you.
You'll get fed up with me.

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Okay, we could maybe open
a Spanish restaurant there, hmm?

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With my new income. [laughs]

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-Can I think about it?
-Yes, of course.

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But not too long. Hmm?

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Don't you go anywhere.

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You'll break up and be alone
and starving to death in another country.

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-[Luis] What language will you use?
-English.

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-People speak English there, right?
-Not like you, no.

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[chuckles] Do you know how to ride a bike?
Because they ride bikes everywhere there.

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-You've been hooked on weed before.
-And hookers.

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-Shh!
-[Raúl] Really?

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-She's a hooker?
-[Luis] Come on.

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-She had a credit card machine.
-I thought she was the parking attendant.

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-[all laughing]
-What?

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-Hey, Dad, I want an ice cream.
-Me too.

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So now you talk to me, son?

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Where are you going?

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I have to win him over.
He's annoyed with me.

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Well, with life in general.

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It's also possible, if you don't go
with Luz… [blows raspberry]

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…she'll want an open relationship

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as soon as she meets a tall,
buff, blond guy with a tight ass.

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Compared to them,
you're gonna look like a Minion.

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[laughing]

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You can go in the little basket
on the bicycle. [laughing]

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-It's been great talking to you guys.
-Hey, what are friends for?

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-Like ET.
-Oh!

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-Shorty!
-[laughing]

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[whistles] Oh, yeah.

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-[Daniela] Is this for real?
-[Pedro] My name is…

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[chuckles] "Sexist Pigs in Trouble"
is a reality.

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Please tell me
you didn't really call it that.

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I've been considering the logo.
I was thinking of a penis in chains.

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-But it might be too graphic.
-[clears throat, gasps]

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All this failure has gone
to your head, right?

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It's a joke. As if I'd use that.

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Stop uploading this bullshit.
They're going viral.

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That's the point, right?
Can you imagine us both blowing up online?

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-No.
-You can sell your girly things.

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And I can sell watches,
anti-dandruff shampoo or whatever.

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I'll have my own brand of Iberian ham.

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No, better serrano ham from a macro farm,
where hundreds of animals suffer.

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-How about that?
-Are you jealous?

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-I'm worried.
-I need advice.

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[Daniela sighs]

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Which suit gives off more virility
for the course?

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I don't know you,
and I don't talk to strangers.

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This one then.

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-[Guillermo panting, grunting]
-Oh, my God. Oh, God. Oh, my God!

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-Oh! Oh! Oh, my God!
-[grunts] Oh, wow.

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-[Esther sighs]
-[chuckles]

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-[Esther] I'm dizzy and everything.
-Uh-huh.

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-[Esther panting]
-[chuckles]

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-I'm seeing lights. [panting]
-[chuckles]

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-[both sigh]
-[Esther laughing]

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[both] Mmm!

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-[both sigh]
-Okay, I gotta go do some CrossFit.

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-[Esther] Okay.
-[exhales]

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Ow! Ow! I have a cramp. Ow! Ooh!

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Want a quick shower?

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No, no, no, no, don't worry.
I'll shower at home.

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My hair mask for fine hair is there.

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This week has flown by.

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-Yeah?
-You think so?

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Yes, yes, yes. I didn't even realize.

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[sighs]

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"Suspension period
from two to five years."

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That sounds like-- [gasps]

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Fuck, you scared me.
What are you doing here?

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-Hello.
-We always swap in the afternoon.

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Well, not today.

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[Luis sighs]

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What's that?

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I'm trying out for a promotion.

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Wow. You didn't say anything.

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Well, in this house,
we all have our little secrets, hmm?

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Me and my exam.
You and your personal trainer.

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-When are you gonna let that go, huh?
-[scoffs] Until I feel like it.

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What's with the protein?

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I have to get in shape for the exam.

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And for me, I'm back on the market now.

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Pushed on,

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but I'm back.

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Going for a run.

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-A run?
-[Luis] Ten kilometers.

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Wear your cap.
You'll burn your bald patches.

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Not for long, hmm?

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I'm getting hair plugs.

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Hair?

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Hmm.

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Hmm.

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[sobbing]

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-[doorbell rings]
-[gasps]

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-What's up, Luis?
-Uh, just going for a little jog.

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-Very good. See ya later.
-Mm-hmm.

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[panting]

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-[grunts]
-[beeps]

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[panting]

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Hey, boss.
A latte in a big mug with two churros.

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-[panting]
-Okay.

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-Hi, amore.
-Mm.

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Sorry I'm late. I had to go
to the station to pick up my mom.

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-Inma, Santi. [laughing]
-Hello.

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Hmm. Pleasure.

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-Oh, so tall. I didn't expect it.
-[kisses]

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She came all the way
from Lugo to meet you.

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-Wow.
-[Eugenia] Yes, on the 7:00 a.m. bus.

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-[chuckles]
-Yes, really early.

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[laughing]

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This is her and her dad
at the Roman Bridge when she was little.

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He was going to come,

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but he has band rehearsal
for the San Froilán festival.

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What a shame.

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-[chuckles]
-[Inma] He plays the bagpipes very well.

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[laughs] Do you play the bagpipes?

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-Not anymore.
-Mom, stop bothering him. That's it.

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[chuckles]

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-You two make a great couple.
-[Santi] Hmm.

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When are you
moving in together? [chuckles]

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[Eugenia] Oh, Mom, we're not in a hurry.

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[chuckles] We have our whole lives
ahead of us, right?

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You see, she had a very bad experience
with her husband.

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They hadn't even been married for a year

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when he got involved
with that bitch from work.

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-No way.
-Mm-hmm. He was a loose cannon.

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But you look squeaky clean.

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-Yes, you do.
-Hmm.

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-I have a good eye for men, okay?
-Yes, a second. It's from my daughter.

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[Eugenia] Hey, look at the time.
Should we order some food soon?

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-I'm not really hungry. No.
-Oh. Garçon!

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-[hisses loudly] Hey, hey!
-Yeah, yeah, he heard you.

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He's on his way, okay? Yes.

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Amsterdam is really a beautiful city
and very exciting.

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-Drugs are legal. Can you believe it?
-And prostitutes. [chuckles]

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-I'll never see you.
-Not if you don't come to visit.

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-Right.
-Hey, shall I get you some rice pudding?

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Yeah?

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-Okay.
-[Pili] Mm-hmm.

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Son, not to be rude. Are you staying long?

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It's just that we're having
a Hawaiian party here.

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-Aloha, aloha!
-♪ Aloha ♪

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[chuckles] Come on, cheer up.
A toast, to Amsterdam.

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That's what I like,
to see you excited. [chuckles]

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[Daniela] Hello, my virtual family.

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I wanted to celebrate reaching
one million followers,

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but I'm not feeling it today.

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It's just that we love to--
love sharing on social media

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how amazing everything is,
and how incredible our lives are,

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but sometimes they're shitty.

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I mean, there are
so many days when… [inhales]

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…when you feel terrible.

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As if success wasn't synonymous
with happiness, you know.

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It fixes many things,
but it screws up so many others.

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In short, I-- hmm, I love you very much.

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And thanks for everything.

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The Minister of Education
has criticized my video.

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Fuck, and the video was
turning out really great.

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What's wrong?

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Nothing. Trying to celebrate
a million followers.

10:54.800 --> 10:56.240
[Pedro] I've already got some haters.

10:56.320 --> 10:59.400
They get so wound up.
Look, look, this ugly woman.

10:59.480 --> 11:01.079
Charini, from Gran Canaria.

11:01.160 --> 11:03.760
-"I don't want you in my bed. I want--"
-You're so proud, huh?

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The government is against you.

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My number of followers
is going through the roof. Fuck!

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[chuckles] I didn't even buy them.

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Now I get you. It's amazing.
Finally feel alive again.

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Congratulations on your resurrection.
Would you let me finish my video?

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[exhales]

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-Wanna celebrate with a quick shag?
-What? A quick shag?

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What's with you?

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-[scoffs]
-[laughs] Fuck me, that Charini.

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[muffled dance music playing]

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-Uh, Sandra? Sorr-- I'm sorry.
-[Sandra] Mm-hmm.

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I had a problem with my car.

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[laughing] Don't worry.
I'm nearly drunk already.

11:36.880 --> 11:38.760
But I'm at that stage where everybody

11:38.839 --> 11:41.880
looks a million times cuter
than when I'm sober, you know.

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Okay, well,
it's a good thing I arrived late then.

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You look really good.

11:47.160 --> 11:48.839
Huh? Uh, yeah.

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Honey, look at this cute apartment
on Huidenstraat.

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I have to reserve it right now,
or we'll lose it.

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Luz, I can't decide this quickly.

11:57.839 --> 12:01.839
It's fine, honey. I'll go first.
We'll see each other on weekends, hmm?

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-While you think about it.
-By yourself?

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-No, no, no, no, no.
-What's wrong? Don't you trust me?

12:07.079 --> 12:09.280
It's just, it's all drugs and crime there.

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It's one of the most dangerous cities
in the world.

12:11.959 --> 12:13.079
-Amsterdam?
-Yes.

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The canals are full of dead bodies.
It's really easy to get rid of a cadaver.

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And you'd miss me too much.

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Okay, that's also a very nice thing.

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Reencounters are the bomb, hmm?

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That's it. I'm going with you.
What the hell!

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Of course you are, honey. [squeals]

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-[both laughing]
-[Luz] Oh!

12:35.079 --> 12:35.959
[Raúl] Mmm!

12:36.040 --> 12:38.640
Look, and if we don't adapt,
we can come back.

12:38.719 --> 12:40.000
It's just next door.

12:40.520 --> 12:42.640
Next door? Cuenca's next door.

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-And I've never been.
-[chuckles]

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I'll take you.

12:47.959 --> 12:50.680
Gabriel, you've been in first gear
ever since we left your place.

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[Gabriel] Don't forget to change gear.

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Why don't you wanna get the license
for an automatic?

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Because I'm gonna get my mom's Yaris.
She's giving it to me.

12:57.839 --> 12:58.959
The Yaris?

13:00.040 --> 13:01.240
Dear God.

13:04.280 --> 13:06.480
-Hey! Stop! Stop, stop!
-I can't stop here.

13:06.560 --> 13:08.440
Stop, goddammit! Use the hazards.

13:08.520 --> 13:10.199
-Music?
-The emergency flashing lights.

13:10.280 --> 13:11.120
Oh.

13:12.800 --> 13:14.400
Fuck! I can't see them very well.

13:14.480 --> 13:17.360
-Fuck! Turn, turn around.
-Uh, but am I allowed here?

13:17.440 --> 13:18.680
-I wanna catch him.
-You sure?

13:18.760 --> 13:21.440
-Do it. There's no one coming.
-But you're sure, right?

13:21.520 --> 13:23.000
-[Esther] Fuck! Come on, dude.
-Esther!

13:23.079 --> 13:24.199
-[horn honks]
-[tires screech]

13:24.280 --> 13:27.079
-[Esther] One moment, man. Come on, hurry!
-[Gabriel] Sorry.

13:27.160 --> 13:29.079
-[Esther] Fuck!
-You're paying the fine, okay?

13:29.160 --> 13:31.000
[Esther] Go on. Turn, turn, turn!

13:31.599 --> 13:34.040
What a son of a biiitch!

13:34.120 --> 13:36.000
-Who is that?
-[Esther] Shitbag!

13:36.079 --> 13:38.959
-[camera shutter clicks]
-I ruined my marriage for this guy?

13:39.040 --> 13:41.360
-Huh?
-[both groan]

13:41.440 --> 13:42.839
-[grunts]
-Or-- or for this.

13:42.920 --> 13:43.959
What are you doing?

13:44.040 --> 13:46.280
-I'm just completely in love with you.
-[gasps]

13:46.360 --> 13:48.839
With me, why? I'm always so mean to you.

13:48.920 --> 13:51.079
Well, that's what got me hooked,
and look, here I am.

13:51.160 --> 13:52.920
Spending a ton of money on classes.

13:53.000 --> 13:55.800
-Well, you do need the classes.
-Been a great driver since I was a kid.

13:55.880 --> 13:57.280
Grandpa taught me when I was eight.

13:57.360 --> 13:59.240
Gabriel, you're not a good driver.

13:59.320 --> 14:01.599
That asshole is a piece of shit,
and you're an idiot.

14:02.280 --> 14:03.760
[sighs] Please.

14:03.839 --> 14:07.079
-[tires screeching]
-[screams] Slow down.

14:07.160 --> 14:09.640
What are you doing, Gabriel? [screams]

14:09.719 --> 14:11.719
Gabriel, please, slow down! This is crazy.

14:11.800 --> 14:14.640
What the hell!
What the hell are you doing? [screams]

14:14.719 --> 14:16.479
You're driving
on the wrong side of the road.

14:16.560 --> 14:18.719
Come on, what are you doing?
You're fucking crazy!

14:18.800 --> 14:20.160
[shouts, gasps]

14:20.240 --> 14:22.040
[panting]

14:22.120 --> 14:24.680
So should I book the exam for Monday?

14:26.120 --> 14:27.120
[Santi] Good morning.

14:27.199 --> 14:29.439
-[sighs]
-What's up? Intense night?

14:29.520 --> 14:31.800
[shushes, laughs]

14:31.880 --> 14:34.880
She's still sleeping in my room. Ha!

14:34.959 --> 14:38.079
Sandra? Double-check.
You're on nine. You need one more.

14:38.160 --> 14:39.199
[sighs] Check, check.

14:39.280 --> 14:41.040
[laughs]

14:41.120 --> 14:43.599
[sighs] Sex is so easy
when it works, sweetie.

14:43.680 --> 14:46.000
-You don't even need to talk. Ah.
-[intercom ringing]

14:46.079 --> 14:47.959
-It just flows.
-Why is she here?

14:48.040 --> 14:50.479
Well, after making her
wait last night… [groans]

14:50.560 --> 14:52.520
I didn't wanna kick her out, no.

14:53.479 --> 14:55.240
Yes? Hello?

14:55.959 --> 14:58.479
Hmm. Bye.

14:58.560 --> 15:00.959
-How'd old-fashioned girl take the news?
-The what?

15:01.040 --> 15:02.800
-Did you end it?
-Almost.

15:02.880 --> 15:05.120
I had a speech planned
and everything, but… [scoffs]

15:05.199 --> 15:07.839
-Thing is, she came with her mom. Fuck.
-[intercom ringing]

15:07.920 --> 15:10.319
This lady wouldn't shut up
if she was underwater.

15:10.400 --> 15:12.959
-She was scary. Hey!
-Hi!

15:13.040 --> 15:15.040
-[Eugenia] Hi.
-What-- what are you doing here?

15:15.120 --> 15:16.680
Is that your daughter? Hello.

15:16.760 --> 15:18.520
-[chuckles] I'm Inma.
-[groans]

15:18.599 --> 15:20.760
-Your step-grandma.
-My mother is going back to Lugo.

15:20.839 --> 15:22.319
-And she wanted to say goodbye.
-Oh.

15:22.400 --> 15:24.800
Yeah, right. What a shame.
Such a short visit, right?

15:24.880 --> 15:26.800
[gasps] I know. I wanna see your home.

15:26.880 --> 15:30.880
-You can tell about people by their home.
-Get her out. Hmm!

15:30.959 --> 15:34.280
-Uh, okay, thanks. You're too kind.
-No, no, no. This is for me.

15:34.360 --> 15:36.680
-For the journey, it's very long.
-Uh, bon appétit.

15:36.760 --> 15:38.880
[Álex whispering] Hello. Sandra.

15:39.479 --> 15:40.599
[Sandra inhales]

15:42.360 --> 15:44.800
Huh? Who are you?

15:44.880 --> 15:45.719
-Álex.
-[gasps]

15:45.800 --> 15:48.560
Stay here. My dad's girlfriend is here
with her mother.

15:48.640 --> 15:51.400
Oh, I'm so hungover.

15:51.479 --> 15:53.880
-I'm gonna stay and sleep a bit longer.
-Uh-huh.

16:00.280 --> 16:02.560
-It must be hot here in summer, right?
-Yes.

16:02.640 --> 16:04.680
-[Inma] Have a canopy?
-[Eugenia] We'll miss the bus.

16:04.760 --> 16:07.359
-Isn't it better by train?
-No, way more expensive.

16:07.439 --> 16:09.000
And besides, you can't talk to anyone.

16:09.079 --> 16:10.760
-Oh, right.
-Everyone's on their phone.

16:10.839 --> 16:12.640
-You make more friends on the bus.
-[Santi] Ah!

16:12.719 --> 16:16.240
Look, to this day,
I'm still in touch with Lourdes.

16:16.319 --> 16:18.160
-Who I met in the year '92.
-[Santi] Uh-huh.

16:18.240 --> 16:20.319
On my way to Seville for the Expo.

16:20.400 --> 16:22.040
Come on, let's go.
Hey, speak to you later.

16:22.120 --> 16:23.439
-Yes. Bye.
-[Inma] See you soon.

16:23.520 --> 16:25.560
All right. Yeah.
Safe travels, okay? See you.

16:25.640 --> 16:27.079
-[Eugenia gasps]
-Oh, oh!

16:27.160 --> 16:30.520
[sighs] What a lovely boy you are.
Yes, I'm so happy.

16:30.599 --> 16:32.040
Goodbye. Goodbye.

16:32.640 --> 16:34.280
[sighs]

16:34.920 --> 16:37.160
-This is my life, sweetie.
-[chuckles] Mm-hmm.

16:39.280 --> 16:41.800
How great that the gentleman
is also famous now.

16:41.880 --> 16:43.839
He talks about interesting things
in his videos.

16:43.920 --> 16:45.000
He talks bullshit, Patri.

16:45.079 --> 16:46.079
You think so?

16:46.160 --> 16:47.839
Do you know what a sexist pig is?

16:47.920 --> 16:49.199
Mnh-mnh.

16:49.280 --> 16:50.959
-It's that.
-Okay.

16:52.000 --> 16:53.920
-How do I look?
-Very elegant, sir.

16:54.000 --> 16:55.359
[chuckles]

16:55.439 --> 16:57.240
I know you don't agree with my discourse,

16:57.319 --> 17:00.959
but I would really like it
if you came to see me.

17:01.040 --> 17:02.079
I have an event.

17:02.160 --> 17:03.640
You're going with your coach friend.

17:03.719 --> 17:06.960
Well, yes. It's nice to go with someone
who's aligned with the place.

17:07.040 --> 17:08.480
[Pedro] Okay, you're pissed.

17:08.560 --> 17:09.560
I get it.

17:09.640 --> 17:12.480
You have to be a secure woman
to be with a successful man.

17:12.560 --> 17:14.760
What a pig.

17:14.839 --> 17:16.000
[huffs]

17:16.079 --> 17:18.079
The lady and the gentleman
had another argument.

17:18.159 --> 17:20.040
-Patri.
-[door opens]

17:20.640 --> 17:21.599
[Patri inhales]

17:22.200 --> 17:23.079
[door closes]

17:25.960 --> 17:26.839
Guille.

17:27.960 --> 17:28.960
-Hey.
-How are you?

17:29.040 --> 17:31.040
-Uh, fine.
-Have something to tell me?

17:31.680 --> 17:34.240
[Guillermo] Look, yes,
I'm back with my girlfriend.

17:34.320 --> 17:36.800
-What?
-Mm. Sorry.

17:43.760 --> 17:45.320
[exhales]

17:48.120 --> 17:50.159
Well, say something, you assholes.

17:50.240 --> 17:51.080
[Pedro] Fuck you.

17:51.159 --> 17:53.560
-Don't think they play paddleball there.
-Huh?

17:53.640 --> 17:54.880
How could they not play?

17:54.960 --> 17:57.919
No, but you can always play,
uh, fi-- fierljeppen.

17:58.000 --> 17:58.919
Wait, what?

17:59.000 --> 18:00.159
[groans]

18:00.240 --> 18:02.560
You jump on this huge pole stuck
in a water canal.

18:02.640 --> 18:05.440
-You climb up until you fall over.
-[crowd shouting]

18:07.000 --> 18:09.000
This is Takeshi's Castle, right?

18:10.360 --> 18:13.360
Thank you. Thank you. How are you?

18:14.360 --> 18:17.080
Okay, today,
we're talking about strategy--

18:17.919 --> 18:19.680
Hello. [chuckles]

18:19.760 --> 18:23.600
[inhales] Today, we're going to talk
about conciliation strategies.

18:27.399 --> 18:30.480
TRAINING COURSE
ON THE RECONSTRUCTION OF VIRILITY

18:30.560 --> 18:31.919
-[Patrick] What's up?
-Hi.

18:32.000 --> 18:33.840
Nowhere else
you could do your silly course?

18:33.919 --> 18:36.040
I can leave yours,
have a coffee, then go to mine.

18:36.120 --> 18:37.520
-Mine's sold out.
-Mm-hmm.

18:38.600 --> 18:39.640
Asshole.

18:39.720 --> 18:42.640
That's some great emotional management.
You're staying for mine, right?

18:42.720 --> 18:43.679
For another two hours?

18:43.760 --> 18:45.520
-We'll wait for you somewhere else.
-I will.

18:45.600 --> 18:47.200
I will stay here, yes.

18:47.280 --> 18:48.560
How's it going?

18:48.640 --> 18:50.280
You're amazing people.

18:51.360 --> 18:53.040
Welcome, my friends!

18:54.399 --> 18:57.040
Ah! How's it going, warriors?

18:57.720 --> 18:58.640
I am Pedro Aguilar,

18:58.720 --> 19:02.080
and I could go on and on and on
to introduce this course.

19:02.159 --> 19:06.159
But I'd rather, hmm, show you some images.

19:06.240 --> 19:07.120
[clicks]

19:07.840 --> 19:11.720
[in Spanish] I have
always detested wimpy men.

19:11.800 --> 19:15.240
Those guys that carry the shopping bags.

19:15.320 --> 19:18.000
-Or push the stroller.
-[chuckling]

19:18.080 --> 19:20.720
[man] Men should never be wimps.
They should stand their ground.

19:20.800 --> 19:25.240
Besides, women greatly abuse
men's weakness.

19:25.320 --> 19:27.880
That's why I say
that men should stay in their place

19:27.960 --> 19:29.280
and women in theirs.

19:29.360 --> 19:31.280
Because women deserve everything.

19:31.360 --> 19:34.440
And I think that women need
a big, strong guy.

19:36.440 --> 19:38.280
[in English] He said that
to the whole of Spain,

19:38.360 --> 19:40.360
because back then,
there weren't any other channels.

19:40.440 --> 19:41.520
A real ugly guy.

19:41.600 --> 19:44.120
He was, like,
not even more than five-feet tall.

19:44.720 --> 19:47.040
Probably shorter than that
without his boots.

19:48.320 --> 19:50.880
Do you guys think
that this man has self-esteem issues?

19:51.640 --> 19:55.120
No, because El Fary knew who he was.

19:55.200 --> 19:57.560
You don't talk
to El Fary about deconstruction,

19:57.640 --> 19:59.360
because he'd tell you to go fuck yourself.

20:05.159 --> 20:08.600
How many of you here talk to your penis?

20:09.200 --> 20:10.360
Very few.

20:10.440 --> 20:12.320
You all talk to your friends.

20:12.399 --> 20:15.159
And your penis is your best friend.

20:15.240 --> 20:17.200
He's always there. You're a team.

20:17.760 --> 20:21.560
If you neglect the most
important relationship in your life, bad.

20:22.399 --> 20:24.880
We're going to do an exercise. Stand up.

20:28.159 --> 20:29.679
Now close your eyes.

20:30.200 --> 20:32.000
I want you
to reconnect with your testicles.

20:32.919 --> 20:34.720
Focus your full attention on them.

20:37.800 --> 20:39.399
Very good, now jump.

20:40.720 --> 20:43.280
-Come on, damn it, jump! Come on, jump!
-[men panting]

20:43.360 --> 20:45.200
[Pedro] That's it. Go on, jump!

20:45.280 --> 20:48.880
Go on, that's it! Go on and jump.
Keep jumping. Feel their weight.

20:48.960 --> 20:52.040
That's right, guys.
That's the weight of your virility.

20:53.120 --> 20:56.679
They're there,
asking you to pay attention to them.

20:57.200 --> 20:58.159
What are we?

20:58.240 --> 20:59.280
[all] Alpha males!

20:59.360 --> 21:00.200
[Pedro] What are we?

21:00.280 --> 21:01.360
[all] Alpha males!

21:01.440 --> 21:02.280
What are we?

21:02.360 --> 21:03.480
[all] Alpha males!

21:03.560 --> 21:05.640
Now we can start the course. [chuckles]

21:05.720 --> 21:09.120
What a jerk!
I bet they hadn't even broken up.

21:09.880 --> 21:11.280
-Who's a jerk?
-[Esther] Iris.

21:11.360 --> 21:12.960
Your homework. Get back inside. Go on.

21:13.040 --> 21:13.960
[Iris groans]

21:15.320 --> 21:17.280
Lower your voice
because they hear everything.

21:17.360 --> 21:18.200
They're like X-Men.

21:18.280 --> 21:19.919
Those two were
going through a rough patch.

21:20.000 --> 21:22.320
-You got caught in the middle.
-What have I done?

21:22.399 --> 21:24.640
-Esther, you weren't happy.
-I'm not happy now.

21:24.720 --> 21:26.399
-You're not doing too bad.
-[clicks tongue]

21:26.480 --> 21:27.919
Your brain is playing tricks on you.

21:28.000 --> 21:32.200
How could I fall in love with that idiot?
His room smells like wet flip-flops.

21:32.280 --> 21:35.120
You were missing something.
Then someone paid you a little attention.

21:35.200 --> 21:37.840
No, no. That wasn't me.
It was a different Esther.

21:37.919 --> 21:40.440
Don't speak in third person, please.
You're starting to scare me.

21:40.520 --> 21:42.679
Mommy, I need help with this problem.

21:42.760 --> 21:44.880
Wait a sec. She's helping me with mine.

21:45.679 --> 21:46.679
What a mess.

21:47.760 --> 21:50.960
Luis, miserable. Ulises, traumatized.

21:51.040 --> 21:52.320
Okay, relax. It's over and done.

21:52.399 --> 21:56.159
That guy helped you make a decision you
couldn't make by yourself, to leave Luis.

21:57.800 --> 21:59.560
-Ah, Luis.
-What?

22:00.080 --> 22:01.880
-He's so handsome.
-What did you say?

22:01.960 --> 22:04.280
He's getting in shape. Hair plugs too.

22:05.600 --> 22:07.520
-I think he's met someone.
-Oh, come on.

22:07.600 --> 22:10.159
A hot policewoman.
There's a lot of women joining the police.

22:10.240 --> 22:11.560
Esther, stop panicking.

22:11.640 --> 22:14.040
What do you mean, don't panic?
What am I gonna do, huh?

22:14.120 --> 22:15.760
Focus on your kids. You have a family.

22:15.840 --> 22:17.320
No, I don't have a family, only kids.

22:17.399 --> 22:19.200
They'll despise me
when they know everything.

22:19.280 --> 22:20.640
They're not gonna find out.

22:20.720 --> 22:22.399
If I were Luis, I'd tell them.

22:23.679 --> 22:25.600
Look, I-- I think that he's happy.

22:26.960 --> 22:28.760
I'm sure he's
with some other bitch already.

22:29.360 --> 22:31.720
-Come on, Dad, your turn.
-Sorry, what suit is it?

22:31.800 --> 22:33.120
We're playing hearts.

22:33.200 --> 22:35.120
Wow, what shitty cards I've been dealt.

22:35.200 --> 22:36.720
Stop whining and play already!

22:36.800 --> 22:38.280
Okay, you leave me alone!

22:38.360 --> 22:40.120
You argue over everything.

22:45.399 --> 22:46.960
[door opens]

22:47.480 --> 22:48.760
[Luz] Honey.

22:48.840 --> 22:50.360
I've put down the deposit.

22:50.439 --> 22:52.800
Oh, that's awesome.
Good job. Nobody else took it.

22:52.880 --> 22:55.360
-You told Jero that you're leaving?
-Yes, he took it very badly.

22:55.439 --> 22:58.360
He says it's a huge hassle,
that there's a ton of paperwork.

22:58.439 --> 23:00.280
Don't worry about it.
I'll take care of it all.

23:01.000 --> 23:03.360
Honey, it's not like
we're going to Australia.

23:04.080 --> 23:06.760
Yeah, it's just I'm really
gonna miss my friends.

23:06.840 --> 23:09.159
I never realized
how much I loved those assholes.

23:09.240 --> 23:10.760
Come here, you silly billy.

23:10.840 --> 23:13.439
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm in pain right now.

23:14.800 --> 23:15.880
Maybe it's an ulcer.

23:15.960 --> 23:17.399
Are you sure you really wanna come?

23:18.000 --> 23:19.720
Yes, yes, I love Amsterdam.

23:21.080 --> 23:22.159
But I don't know.

23:25.800 --> 23:26.760
Hmm.

23:27.919 --> 23:29.560
-[Eugenia laughing]
-Hello.

23:29.640 --> 23:32.080
-Organized something you're gonna love.
-Oh, great.

23:32.159 --> 23:34.159
[Eugenia continues laughing]

23:35.840 --> 23:37.840
Yay. [laughs]

23:38.360 --> 23:40.919
It's a surprise.
Okay, fine, I'll tell you.

23:41.000 --> 23:43.240
It's a restaurant that is completely dark.

23:43.320 --> 23:44.960
So it heightens your senses,

23:45.040 --> 23:48.280
and dinner becomes
a unique sensory experience. I can't wait.

23:48.360 --> 23:50.439
-And the servers are all blind.
-Oh, wow.

23:50.520 --> 23:53.120
I'm gonna take you
to this Cuban bar for a cocktail.

23:53.200 --> 23:55.520
-It's a beach. It has sand and umbrellas.
-Hey, Eugenia--

23:55.600 --> 23:58.000
I made a plan for this weekend
that's gonna freak you out.

23:58.080 --> 24:01.360
Because it's a really special hotel.
The rooms have transparent domes.

24:01.439 --> 24:02.600
-You can--
-I wanna break up.

24:03.399 --> 24:04.240
What?

24:04.840 --> 24:07.800
You are a truly wonderful woman, really.

24:07.880 --> 24:10.159
You're charming, gorgeous, affectionate.

24:10.240 --> 24:12.240
When I met you,
I said to myself, "She's amazing."

24:12.320 --> 24:15.120
It's just there's something not right.

24:15.840 --> 24:17.480
-Look-- look ahead, please. Please.
-Sorry.

24:17.560 --> 24:19.560
[gasps]

24:22.720 --> 24:24.600
Sa-- Santi, are you breaking it off?

24:26.200 --> 24:27.560
We can still be friends.

24:28.720 --> 24:29.720
You okay?

24:29.800 --> 24:31.280
[chuckles] Yeah. Yes.

24:32.360 --> 24:35.439
It's just that I'm-- I'm very surprised.

24:35.520 --> 24:36.760
[laughing]

24:36.840 --> 24:39.439
But okay, it is what it is. [chuckles]

24:39.520 --> 24:40.439
[sniffles]

24:41.360 --> 24:42.240
Mm.

24:42.880 --> 24:45.720
[exhales] If you want,
you can leave me at the light over there.

24:45.800 --> 24:47.560
Or we can still have dinner.

24:47.640 --> 24:50.399
I don't know. It's a bit weird.
Like, my body is telling me to go.

24:50.480 --> 24:52.960
Mm. I just don't want us
to end things badly.

24:53.040 --> 24:55.439
No, if you want, let's have dinner, sure.

24:55.520 --> 24:56.640
Know what I think?

24:58.080 --> 25:00.080
That I am going to take it badly. [grunts]

25:00.159 --> 25:01.200
[tires screeching]

25:01.280 --> 25:02.679
Eugenia, what the hell!

25:02.760 --> 25:05.679
You're a hustler, like them all.
What did you want, to just give me a shag?

25:05.760 --> 25:08.919
No, I wanted to give you a lot of shags,
but there's just no chemistry between us.

25:09.000 --> 25:09.960
Sure, whatever you say.

25:10.040 --> 25:12.720
-[tires screech]
-Stop. Slow down. We're gonna crash!

25:12.800 --> 25:15.040
So what?
You've taken away my will to live anymore.

25:15.120 --> 25:17.800
-I only met you three days ago.
-But they've been three amazing days.

25:17.880 --> 25:20.159
You think you know someone?
Stop the car, you crazy bitch!

25:20.240 --> 25:22.439
-[Eugenia] Stop being patronizing.
-[tires screech]

25:23.120 --> 25:24.320
Oh, fuck.

25:24.399 --> 25:25.320
[Eugenia] Oh, shit.

25:26.840 --> 25:27.919
I don't have insurance.

25:28.880 --> 25:31.320
-Officer, she has no insurance.
-[Eugenia] Shut up, you asshole.

25:31.919 --> 25:32.880
Documents, please.

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[door closes]

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[panting] I hate being single. I hate it.

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Hmm.

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WITHOUT NIGHT

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-[photographers clamoring]
-[camera shutters clicking]

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[reporter] Got any words for our readers?
Just one question.

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-[photographer] Look over here!
-[camera shutters clicking]

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-[reporter 2] Daniela!
-Thank you.

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-Hi. How are you?
-[reporter 2] Just a few questions.

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Tell us, what do you think about
your boyfriend's sudden rise to fame?

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-Sorry.
-[reporter 2] Pedro Aguilar.

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The new guru of toxic masculinity, right?
You're together, no?

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I-- well, I don't talk
about my private life publicly.

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-Sorry.
-What do you mean?

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-That's all you talk about.
-Thank you.

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[reporter 3] Daniela,
how are things going with him?

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[door opens, closes]

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[sighs]

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-[cork pops]
-[Daniela gasps]

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The course was a great success, love.
I got a standing ovation.

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-And I was insulted.
-You, why?

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I'm your girlfriend.
The news has come out.

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-So I lost a lot of my followers.
-I keep getting more and more.

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Have you stopped to think

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about how much the things
you're doing might affect me?

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Well, maybe your virtual family
isn't the family you thought it was.

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I'm getting so many messages.
"How can I be with you?"

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[scoffs] They ask me.

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If you didn't give away your private life
for free, no one would know me.

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We could have been like Daft Punk.

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Fuck, it keeps going down!

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It's still going.

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Don't let it get you down, honey.
It's the same old feminazis as always.

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-What are you doing?
-Deleting photos of you.

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-Oh, I've just uploaded one of you.
-What? No, delete it!

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Delete it. I'm serious.
Give it to me. Delete it.

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Pixelate me
or put a fucking tomato over my face!

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Ah, come on.

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Why did you have to go
and do that damn virility shit?

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[huffs]

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Didn't you tell me to reinvent myself?
That's what I've done.

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-What about the toast?
-[Daniela] Go fuck yourself!

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Shit.

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[grunts, sighs]

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[grunts] Fuck.

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[gasping]

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[Marga] Luis?

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[grunts]

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-Oh, look at you.
-What are you doing awake?

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[Marga] Come in, come on.

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I'll make you some coffee.
You can tell me everything.

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What? No, no, no. I'm going to bed.

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No. To the bathroom.
I'll stick my fingers down your throat.

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-You'll feel better.
-Mm, no, that's disgusting.

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-Well, better out than in.
-Hmm.

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[father] What's going on?

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-Nothing, the boy is a little bit dizzy.
-I can see that.

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-Everybody to bed, please.
-[Marga] Right this way. Come on.

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[Luis] Hi, Grandma.

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Put your grandma's oxygen mask on.

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I put it on sometimes for a bit,
and my knee doesn't hurt as much.

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Why doesn't Esther love me?

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[Marga] She does love you.

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-You'll see. It'll all work out.
-Mm-hmm.

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Do you think
she's gonna come back? [labored breathing]

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Go to sleep, darling.

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You'll see.
Tomorrow, everything will be different.

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Well, maybe not tomorrow,
but the day after, for sure.

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[labored breathing continues]

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[rings]

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-What's up, Jero?
-[Jero] Get to the restaurant.

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-A pipe burst. There's a huge mess.
-[sighs]

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Fuck! It's one thing after another.

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[groans]

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What the hell is this?

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-[all] Surprise!
-[laughing]

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You fucking deserter. Mmm.

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[Raúl] Mmm!

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Oh, shorty is leaving us! Oh!

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[inhales, sighs]

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It's so sad you're leaving us.

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-I'm gonna really miss you. All of you.
-[Luis chuckles] Mmm!

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Even you.

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[Pili] Sweetie, cheer up.
We'll come and visit you.

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We're thinking of spending a month.
Why not the Netherlands?

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-[Esther] Luz!
-Hi.

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-Did you know about this?
-Yes, but false alarm.

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-I didn't accept the position, after all.
-What?

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You have made a lot of effort
to be with me, and I wanna support you.

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-How cute, right? I love you.
-Yeah, super cute.

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-What about the deposit?
-Screw the damn deposit!

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[all] Aww!

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Don't say that love doesn't exist.
Look at the sacrifice that Luz just made.

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Well, the decision was influenced
by the fact I hated the boss I'd have had.

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Fucking hell, dude. You're not going!

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-I'm not going, dude. I'm not going! Yay!
-[shouting]

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Come on, Raúl,
I missed the game to come and say goodbye.

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-You can watch the game later.
-Ah, look. The score's 3-2, hmm?

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-Come on, let's have a beer.
-I'm not going.

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-And I don't have to play jefenkuflen!
-[laughing]

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[theme music playing]
lay jefenkuflen!
-[laughing]