[dramatic classical music playing]
[instructor] What does it mean to be a woman?
Neo-feminism has sold us on the idea that to empower ourselves,
we must adopt masculine traits.
We have to be strong, independent, cold, competitive.
But why can't we women empower ourselves through our femininity
by being passionate, empathetic, intuitive?
-Reclaiming our power… -How did we end up here, girl?
-I have no idea. -Shh!
-[instructor] …embracing our femininity. -Oh my God.
ALPHA MALES
Who's the slob who did laundry and left their clothes in the washer?
Smells like rotten ass.
Didn't we agree you'd be our cleaning lady?
-[vacuum whirring] -I clean the house.
-You wash your own clothes. -Hey, you guys flooded the bathroom.
-At least mop up the floor, assholes. -Luis!
Sorry, but I can't do everything. I'm getting divorced, okay?
I haven't sat down all day.
It's too much. We can't all be here, okay? This is a bachelor pad.
Not a homeless shelter. Come on. Someone's gotta go.
Totally agree. I nominate Santi.
What? Why me and not Luis?
He cleans. Have some balls. Kick Blanca out.
You kick out Marimar.
Or Pedro. He took the big bed.
I won't fit in a small bed.
Can't you coordinate with Luis, so you don't have the same week without kids?
But then we'd never see each other.
Why are we packed in here like sardines while they're in our houses?
They're only feminists when it suits them.
I don't know how much longer I can keep this going.
-Cleaning or divorcing? -[Santi] Great, now you're sitting.
Why don't you do the ten bodies thing?
Luis? He won't get past the first. He'll fall right in love.
Hey, hey, hey. Watch out, guys. I'm no choirboy, okay?
I can be a player if I want to.
-[laughs] -[phone ringing]
Oh shit, Marimar!
[scoffs] I could kill it on the Tinder.
[customers chattering]
[Marimar sighs]
[sighs]
My apologies for being late.
But we're busy at the seminary. How are you?
I just want this nightmare to end.
The papers. I've signed already.
I appreciate you not standing in my path to the Lord.
Drop the act, Raúl. I'm Catholic, not stupid.
You can't enter the seminary until you get the annulment.
Even if you could, I know that first-year seminarians don't wear cassocks.
You're a moron.
Look, I bought this for myself to reaffirm my fledgling vocation.
Stop lying. You're not blessed with the gift of faith. Period.
You're right. I'm not. But you won't leave my house.
I have nowhere to stay. I quit my job for you, remember?
But it's my house.
[scoffs] When I think of everything I did for this marriage
and all the love I gave you.
I loved you too, okay? Hey.
-It's nobody's fault it didn't work out. -It's nobody's fault?! [exhales]
-You don't know what love is, Raúl. -But I had very strong feelings for you.
You understand love is not just feeling something. It's an action.
What did you do for me?
You only love yourself. You don't care about anyone.
You're a fucking psychopath.
You belong in jail.
[huffs]
Blanca, we need to talk!
Hello!
-Blanca! -[Blanca] What?
It's my turn to have the place. This is my house too.
Actually, it's more mine than yours. I'm the one paying for it.
So, yeah, you start packing your bags and you--
-Dear Lord. -Hello.
-Hans. -[splutters]
Oh, uh, Santi.
-What about the house? -[splutters]
Uh, could we talk for a minute, please? Hmm?
-[Hans] Nice to meet you, buddy. -Come on. Hmm.
[Blanca, Santi chuckle]
[exhales] Who is he? Body number 184?
My boyfriend, genius.
He left his wife in Düsseldorf so we could move in together.
Uh, in this house? Here?
-Yeah, well, I'm not moving to Düsseldorf. -But this is my place, Blanca.
Don't you find it a little sad to stay here
and watch me rebuild my life with another man?
[sighs]
Patri, how are ya?
-Good morning, sir. -Uh, where can I put the dirty laundry?
Seriously?
My washing machine broke down.
An excuse to keep tabs on me? It's a bit pathetic, dude.
[Pedro] I don't care what you do.
Now, if you were the love of my life, but you're not.
My God, Pedro. That really stung.
I bet you'll have a girlfriend in less than a month.
Your feminine intuition?
No, men don't know how to be alone.
Hmm. We don't know what real pain is or how to be alone.
Thank fucking God we live in a patriarchy.
[chuckles] Otherwise, we would've gone extinct.
[exhales]
Where are you going with that?
Today's Women's Day. We have to protest.
But what more could you want?
[all chant] Women's rights are human rights!
[Daniela] My body, my choice! My body, my choice!
My body, my choice.
My body, my choice! My body, my choice!
Hey, great, you showed up. Can we go to a bar?
-Let's get some pisco sours! -Yes!
I wanna stay a bit longer.
For all those women who fought before you so that you could have a voice.
Give us a break, you phony. You're just pretending to care.
Okay, yes, I need to clean up my image. Please take a photo.
-Okay. -Hold that.
[chanting continues] My body, my choice! We have a voice! My body…
Daniela.
-Hi. -Hello.
Iñaki Castejón.
Your face rings a bell, but I can't place it.
Yes! You're a state representative. You're an independent.
Oh, yeah, of course. [laughs]
So, have you found anyone to depend on?
Apparently, I have, right?
-Nice to meet you. -Likewise.
I supported you before you started saying stupid shit.
-[laughs] Not anymore. -[Iñaki] Ah.
-Well, I hope I can win back your trust. -Eh, it seems unlikely.
-I'm just here for my friend. [laughs] -Ah. How about a photo?
-Huh? Yeah, sure. Yeah. -Huh?
[chanting continues] No means no! Toxic men have got to go…
-[Daniela chuckles] -[chanting] Toxic men have got to go…
-What's your number? I'll send it to you. -Yeah, I'll type it in.
You're one of those allies, right?
I didn't know you were a radical feminist, Daniela.
I wouldn't say radical. I'm passionate.
Oh, well, your protest is further down then.
They're marching over there?
The radical ones, here.
The liberals are there. And the ecofeminists are over there.
You march in every one? That's fucking crazy.
[chanting continues] No means no! Toxic men have got to go!
[Daniela chuckles]
-I don't get it. -[Esther exhales]
They're trolling me again.
The manosphere assholes?
Other women. They're calling me a TERF.
I think the TERFs are calling me queer, but it's spelled with a K.
-You should've stayed home. -She'd be criticized for not going.
Spill the tea. How you girls doing?
Nothing serious. I wanna have fun being on my own.
No drama.
Well, me, I joined Tinder, but I can't be bothered.
I was so comfortable in my crappy marriage.
Esther, life's too short. How many more lays you think you'll get?
It's not like I'd fuck any of those guys.
-Check it out. You'll see. -All right.
[Esther] Horrible.
-Dreadful. -Oh.
-Eww. -Pathetic.
-Repulsive. -Oh, Fidel's not bad. Swipe right.
-No! What are you doing? -It's a match! [shouts]
-[laughing] -How do I undo this?
No, no, no, don't undo it. Message him.
Let him write first. No way.
It's Women's Day, damn it. Empower yourself, girl.
-Hello, there. I'm Esther. -Uh-huh. Very original.
-[laughing] -[phone chimes]
"My name's Fidel." Not much better.
-A match made in heaven. -Right.
This is super depressing.
I mean, flirting in person is always more fun.
Those days are long gone.
Over there. That one with the book. He's cute.
Yeah. He can read. Who cares?
-[chuckles] -Oh! [chuckles]
What are you doing?
There.
-[Esther gasps] -Hmm.
[gasps]
Huh? Huh? You gave him my number?
Hell no, I gave him mine. I bet he'll call me.
Of course, he will. If I did that, he'd think I'm offering to clean his house.
Now I'm transphobic? [scoffs]
Why? For doing this?
How's that controversial? It's-- [exhales]
[Pedro] I think random stuff on there suits you.
[Luis] Random? You think it's too baggy?
It's oversized.
[Santi] You look pathetic from over here.
-[laughs] -Wanna know what you look like? [scoffs]
Weren't you moving back into your house?
Blanca's boyfriend's living there. Hans from Düsseldorf.
Gonna let her stay there with a Kraut?
I'm not going to live with them. I have some dignity.
And what would she do, huh?
IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY IT'S YOUR FAULT
[Luis] So are you officially divorced?
She finally signed the agreement. Just have to file it in court. [sighs]
You don't look very happy about it.
Marimar really let me have it. It was messed up.
And you're surprised?
She said I'm a psychopath, that I belong in jail,
and I only know how to love myself.
She nailed it.
You think she's right? I don't know how to love?
You loved Luz, right?
Don't forget he cheated on her.
Oh, okay, but he was in love.
She said love can't just be a feeling. It's an action.
-What have I done for Luz? -[sighs] Uh… well…
[Raúl sighs]
-Hey, you're good at loving us. -[Raúl sighs]
You've never betrayed us. You've never lied to us.
And you're the one who makes plans.
And sometimes they're a bit weird, but, you know. [laughs]
-Maybe I don't know how to love girls. -[Santi] Because you're a misogynist.
All you care about is fucking. It's sort of become an obsession.
Life's not that bad without sex. I'm telling you.
What you need is a detox, man.
Emotional responsibility.
-[Luis grunts] -[Raúl] I love women.
But I don't know how to relate to them.
And with that statement, you've officially failed your deconstruction.
[Raúl] Where you guys going?
Uh, we're meeting our Tinder matches.
[Raúl] I thought we were gonna celebrate my divorce.
Tomorrow, we'll do something.
[Raúl] Hey, you and I can celebrate, right?
Uh, I'm gonna take back my house.
[door opens]
-[Santi sighs] -[door closes]
Those sons of bitches.
[cell phone ringing]
[chuckles]
-Luz? -[Luz] Are you up?
[Raúl chuckles]
[exhales]
[Esther] Look, I'm seriously not looking for anything.
-I've seen that movie before. -[both laugh]
I mean, I don't even know why I'm here. It's a miracle I came.
-Thank you. That's sweet. -No, you seem nice and all that, Fidel.
But honestly, I might pass out after the margarita.
Well, since we're being honest, before this goes any further,
hmm, will you show your feet to me?
-Uh-- -Got a foot fetish, Fidel?
Hmm. No, no, no, no. I prefer to call myself a foot enthusiast.
I like to look at them, touch them, smell them.
Lick the toes.
[slurps] It's the best.
Hmm. But hold on, before you freak out, let me explain the advantages, hmm?
You'll never be short of beautiful shoes.
If you don't feel like sex, no problem at all.
I give amazing massages. So good.
And my favorite thing in the world, what drives me nuts is
painting your nails, huh?
Free pedicures.
I'm not gonna show you my feet, sleazeball.
It's just that if we hit it off and then I don't like them,
we'll both have wasted our time, hmm? Show 'em.
[exhales]
[crinkling]
Holy shit, Egyptian foot. May I touch it? I… [gasps]
-Sir! Check please! -No! [clears throat]
[clears throat]
Being a police officer is sort of a calling. It's not for everyone.
-And your ex? -Huh?
Well, officer, I need your background check.
Uh, I thought that talking about exes
on a first date was a bit of a no-no?
When you're 20. At your age, I assume you have an ex.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, with a mortgage, kids, the works.
Mmm. Okay, okay, that's hot.
Yeah, um, I don't know. I guess I can talk about it.
Her name is Esther. She's 5'3", Capricorn.
Why aren't you together?
[sighs] It's kind of a complicated story.
Luis, Tinder is an outlet store.
-What's your flaw? -[inhales] Uh--
[Santi] Love, pass the soy sauce, please?
[huffs]
What's wrong?
You're a third wheel.
I think the three of us can live perfectly well together, honey.
Santiago, I know what you're trying to do, and you're not gonna succeed.
Achtung! Hans. [laughs]
[accented] This woman is crazy. Uh, and it's not misogyny. It's the truth.
-[Hans laughs] -He speaks English, dumbass.
You got the loose screw in the brain, yeah?
[laughing]
Why's he laughing like an idiot?
Because he's not bitter like you. [laughs]
Listen, did you know that she fucked the dentist while we were married?
For eight years, our daughter got free braces.
[laughing]
-Laugh, laugh. Yeah. -[chuckles]
[in German] Honey, two more beers, okay?
-[Blanca] Hmm! -[Hans in English] Two beers.
-I love it. He's such a macho guy. -[Hans laughs]
If you deconstruct him, I'll murder you.
[woman] The doctor said it was better to transfer two embryos,
just in case, because of my age.
And then, they both took.
-[chuckles] Oh, my God, I freaked out. -[laughs] Oh!
But at least I don't have an ex busting my balls.
Single moms are like a pandemic.
-I prefer single caregiver. -Ah, I'm sorry. [clears throat]
When you realize you don't need men, you get along much better with them.
What for, if you don't need them?
Well, I don't need them, but I want them.
Plural.
I know you from somewhere, but I can't place it.
[Pedro exhales]
I was a Moses of Sexist Pigs.
What?
I gave a course on masculinity a couple of years ago,
and I blew up on the Internet.
Mnh-mnh. I don't use any social media. The whole thing's a curse, only Tinder.
Seriously?
But now I'm intrigued by the Moses of Sexist Pigs thing.
-[laughs] -No. Tania, really don't.
It was a very complicated time in my life.
[Pedro on phone] I want you to reconnect with your testicles.
Focus your whole attention on them.
Very good, now jump.
Come on, damn it, jump! That's it. Go on, jump!
-Since then, I've changed. -That's it. Jump!
-The other way. That's right, guys. -[chuckles]
-I'm not like that anymore. -That's the weight of virility.
-[laughs] -They're there…
-…begging for you to pay attention… -I mean, come on, man.
-What are we? -Oh, my God.
Pedro, this video's incredible.
-[men shouting on phone] -[Pedro] Now we can start the course.
But why'd you stop, dude? You could've made a fortune with these.
[doorbell buzzes]
[both] Hey!
-Happy divorce, honey. -[both laugh]
[Raúl] Ah.
-[Luz grunts] What was that? -Uh, hey! [laughs]
-What was that? -[laughs]
-Hello. I wanna have sex with you. -Come, sit down. I need to talk to you.
Uh, but what-- what did you do this time?
I didn't do anything.
-[Luz sighs] Hmm. -[chuckles]
I've realized I'm a better friend than lover. And I love you so much.
But since I don't know how to love, I wanna be here for you.
[laughs] That's funny. You're silly.
Luz, I'm serious. If you need to talk
or a shoulder to cry on, I'm here as a friend, no sex.
-Raúl, come on, put it in. -Hey, no. I wanna love you the right way.
Let me know when you're available for a real friendship.
[sighs] Well… I'm sorry.
It's, uh, I couldn't take my testosterone shot this month.
-Because my car insurance was due. -You take testosterone?
Yeah, I mean-- but we can do other things.
I want you to slam my pussy.
Oh, that's a bit coitus-centered, you know?
The rest… I can do myself, thanks.
Oh, all right, I'll do it for you.
-Oh no, no. I'm a pro at it. -Yeah, yeah, please, please.
-I want to. Let me do it. -I said no. Don't worry.
-Come on, dude. Give me the vibrator! -Hey, I've used--
They have the best matcha latte. Wait.
Excuse me. You're Daniela Galván, aren't you?
-Uh, yes, hello. -So, what?
-Without a vagina, I'm less a woman? -No, no, not at all.
My identity has nothing to do with my genitals.
-Girls, it's the Instagram TERF. -What? I'm not a TERF.
[woman] Feminism must include all oppressed by the patriarchy.
Reducing the human condition to the parameters of cisnormativity
is supremacist and exclusionary.
Yes, I-- I know. I agree. I'm really sorry.
[woman 2] You wear a skirt, you're a woman?
-Sorry. -[woman 3] Sellout! Dick rider!
[both] Am I a bad mother for not breastfeeding my baby?
[Daniela] No, I never said that!
[both] I do breastfeed, but according to you, I'm not empowered.
The supplements you advertise for anti-aging don't work at all.
-[woman 2] Patriarchy simp! -[woman 4] You're a bad mother!
[indistinct shouting]
-[woman 4] You're ugly! Ugly, ugly, ugly! -[panting]
[Gael crying]
-[gasps] -[girl] Dad?
[Pedro] Huh?
Ha! Just kidding, I do that to all her dates. You want toast?
No. Uh, thank you.
Uh, tell me. [chuckles]
Um, do you see a lot of dads passing through here?
More so when she's not on her period. I'm Nora. And you?
Pedro. Uh, nice to meet you.
-[gasps] Wait. Dad? -Ah!
Loser, I beat you to it.
Shut up, you dork.
-[Blanca laughs] -[Hans] Ah!
-Blanca! -[Blanca] What?
The hot water heater only holds 40 gallons.
-[water running] -[Blanca] Cold is great for circulation.
-[Hans laughs] -Well, then why don't you guys use it?
[Blanca] Use the other bathroom, instead of complaining.
Okay, but turn off the faucet or it won't get pressure.
I knew it, you bitch.
Oh! Ah! Oh shit!
Oh! Son of a whore, shit! [whimpers]
-Hans wants to buy your half of the house. -[exhales]
Tomorrow morning, in cash.
-Not for sale. -But it's what you wanted.
I wanted you to leave the house. I happen to like it here.
My daughter grew up here. Hmm?
Santi, buddy. [clicks tongue]
Name the price, okay?
No fucking way. I won't be kicked out of my own house.
[scoffs] He's so bitter. He needs to get a girlfriend already.
And tomorrow, I'm gonna use all the hot water,
'cause I'll get up at seven.
Girl, he didn't wanna bang.
Raúl!
-That's really weird. -Does he think I look old?
Am I past the age to answer the door with no makeup and sweats?
Well, if you look old, then how do I look? Prehistoric?
And I never heard from napkin guy.
-You looked smoking hot that day. -Mm.
-Good morning. -[Esther] You look like shit. Big night?
-What's it to you? -I don't give a fuck.
Here we go.
Attending this proceeding and by mutual agreement,
Luis, blah, blah, blah, and Esther, blah, blah, blah, state that they have decided
to end their marriage with consensual approval
of the present agreement for parental-filial measures,
governed by the following clauses.
Number one, the parties commit to mutual respect.
It applies to both their interpersonal relationships
as well as with third parties.
Always maintaining their dignity and honor.
-[Luis] Sure, no problem. -[Esther] Don't interrupt, Luis!
Number two, Luis, blah, blah, blah, will pay Esther, blah, blah, blah,
a monthly payment of 400 euros as spousal support.
-[Luis] What? -Luis, I don't have a job.
Then find one, you leech. I'm just a civil servant.
Hey, respect me. Clause number one.
-It's a draft. We can negotiate. -[Luis] She's not getting one cent!
You're on her side anyway. I'll be back with my lawyer!
Go on, run to Marimar!
[Luis] Again with Marimar. What a pain in the ass.
Don't let up on him, okay? We're not negotiating anything.
You told me this was a mutual decision.
Mutual decision, my ass. He admitted I'm not the love of his life.
He played me for 15 years.
-[Raúl sighs] -Mm. Mm. Mm.
I don't like it.
What's wrong with you? Everything's delicious.
-Mm! -The food, yeah, but a lady chef?
Better stick with guys.
Raúl, she's the best chef, by far. Aren't you deconstructed?
Aroa, we loved your proposal.
-Thanks, guys. -[Raúl] Hmm.
-Very, uh, innovative. -[Aroa] Hmm.
It was mouthwatering. Well, then, that's it. You're hired.
Sure, sure, and the work environment here is great.
-Rafa and I are gay. -[Aroa chuckles] Cool.
Congratulations.
And a couple. We love each other very much.
So when do I start?
-Why did you tell her that we're gay? -To avoid lawsuits. I know how this goes.
I'm not gay. At most, I'm heteroflexible.
Well, as far as our employees know, you're super gay. Come on, let's go.
Don't label me, Raúl. I don't like it.
But you're comfortable sucking my dick.
-That's a hobby. -Right.
I can't sleep. I mean, I've never taken pills,
but between the baby… [grunts]
…Pedro, and every time I open my mouth, someone being offended.
Plus, I'm a content creator, but I don't have content to post,
'cause Pedro doesn't like me showing Gael, but I need an Instababy as an influencer.
One thing at a time, okay? How's motherhood? Gael?
Fine. Normal.
He's great. I love him more and more, but it's just-- [scoffs]
Nowadays, if your life doesn't revolve around your baby,
you're a shameful mother.
And Pedro?
[exhales] Mm. He's still a little hurt.
-[exhales] -Hmm.
Because I said he wasn't the love of my life.
Now in retrospect, I was better off not telling him. [gasps]
But I can never just tell the truth. It's so pretentious. It's exhausting.
Daniela, it's hard for you to be objective right now. You're very tired.
It's true. I'm very tired.
It's one thing to take on a persona for certain instances
and another to lose yourself along the way.
Yeah, what can I do? I can't get it right at a Women's March.
The first thing to do is to decide what your goal is with social media.
To make a living or to be yourself?
[exhales] But doing both isn't a choice?
[trills]
-Hi, Santi. -Hi, Marcela, nice to meet you.
Luz mentioned that you're a wonderful architect.
Mmm, well, I do what I can, but, uh, yes.
What a beautiful house, wow.
Well, change everything.
I don't want a single square inch to remind me of my ex.
Wouldn't it be easier just to move?
Didn't Luz tell you?
She said you were separated.
He left me for a 24-year-old sales clerk after spending 17 years together.
He didn't value those hours spent at the gym or risking my life with surgery.
None of it. To him, I've lost my sexual worth.
That's a bit objectifying. Right, Marcela?
You're much more than, uh, just your body.
-Well, thank you. Likewise. -Uh-huh.
Hmm?
Hmm. [exhales]
Good morning. [exhales]
-I'm back. -Already?
Hmm. Hey.
[chuckles] Pedro, how's fatherhood?
[chuckles] Perfect. Mind bringing me up to date?
Step in my office.
-I assume you already know Mario Armada. -Huh?
-Hey-hey! -[Pedro] Hey, how are you?
-There's the guy I've been dying to meet! -[grunts]
[Mario laughs] Oh!
[Virginia] He'll play Pedro, your alter ego in Harassed.
We were just talking about the character.
Yeah, but look, now he's got you here for inspiration.
Do you mind if we spend time together so I can soak up your essence? [slurps]
Okay, uh, I haven't read the rest of the season,
but the Pedro in the pilot doesn't really resemble me.
[both] Yes, he does, actually.
You're much taller than I imagined, huh?
It's true. We're so different that it might be best
if you built your character from scratch.
No. No, no, no, no. I want my Pedro to be real.
Come on, dude. Let's go grab a drink. Let's go.
-Hey, what was your childhood like? -[sighs]
-'Cause it's the root of everything. -Can you wait outside for a bit, Mario?
[inhales] Is this a joke?
It was very hard to convince him. Normally, he doesn't do television.
And he's complicated, with the whole method thing.
Pedro, we need you to help out.
[exhales] But, please, could I at least look over the scripts?
-Of course. Send it to him. -[Ali] Mm-hmm.
Pedro, how long do you need? I have cryotherapy.
Coming, coming.
She wants alimony now. She's got some balls.
If it weren't for you guys, I'd be sleeping under a bridge.
I'm a police officer.
I don't wanna be misogynistic, but they're all just a bunch of bitches.
Sorry, not all women.
[Raúl] Do what Santi did, move back home.
Until you sign the agreement, you have as much right to be there as her.
But imagine moving back with Esther now? [scoffs]
We're always the ones getting screwed, always.
Hey, weren't you deconstructed?
Fellas, this is Mario Armada,
the actor who's gonna play the lead in Harassed.
'Sup, guys?
Hey, I'd ask you for a selfie for my wife, but we're getting a divorce.
Don't worry, guys. Just pretend I'm not here. [chuckles]
Can you explain this?
-He's soaking up my essence. -Can you explain better?
All right, who's serving?
And don't hold back, guys. Say all the crude stuff you usually say.
We listen, but we don't judge.
-[laughing] Yeah. All right, yeah. -Sure.
-Are we animals in a zoo or something? -[Pedro] Oh, come on. Serve, damn it!
Hey, Mario, I don't walk like that.
I'm exploring. I'm exploring.
I loved you in Room 604.
-Luis. [scoffs] -Truly amazing.
[woman laughs]
-[man] I swear. That's what I want. -[woman] You're amazing.
[sighs]
Are you kidding me? I can't believe this is happening.
No, no, don't go there. I swear to God.
-[man] You have to tell me these things. -[woman] Eat shit!
-[sighs] -[men chattering, laughing]
-Hey, Santi. -[Santi] Have a good one. Bye.
[clears throat]
URIBE FUSTER ARCHITECTS
[Raúl] Well, everything's great. I'm really happy.
I'm about to open my new restaurant. Backdoor Bistro.
Backdoor Bistro?
-Cool, right? I came up with the name. -[chuckles] I believe it.
I've got Marimar staying at my place, and, well, until she leaves,
I'm staying at the bachelor pad with the guys.
[chuckles] How are you doing?
[exhales] Well, same as you.
Recently divorced, enjoying, open to anything.
[chuckles] You look spectacular.
Thanks, Raúl.
[clears throat]
[sighs]
All righty.
I had a great time tonight.
It's nice to be just friends, huh?
Shall we go up and continue our chat?
Some other time. Very busy with the restaurant.
But you haven't even opened the doors.
Exactly. Getting ready for the grand opening.
Yeah, right, grand opening.
You're killing me, Luz.
[cell phone ringing]
Yeah?
[man] Hi, sorry. Uh, listen, it's Juan Carlos.
You gave me your phone number on a napkin yesterday.
-I remember! Yeah. I'm sorry. -[both chuckle]
It was an experiment to prove something to a friend of mine.
Thanks for calling back though, really.
So you don't wanna hang out?
[Raúl groaning]
-[Rafa sniffles] -[groaning]
-I'm so happy you called me, Raúl. -Oh!
[panting] Yeah. I could tell you felt a bit tense.
[sighs] I was thinking,
uh, next time maybe we could try something else.
Like penetration.
You in me.
I hear ya. But butt-fucking isn't my deal.
Aren't you curious?
You're freaking me out, dude.
I'm beginning to think you are super gay.
Huh?
Danielers, haters, this reel is to tell you that I'm done.
I quit social media in order to save my mental health.
Because I've reached the limit
of contradiction between person and persona.
Well, uh, to my followers who love me, lots of kisses.
And to those who don't, well, same thing.
You've boosted my engagement, but honestly, I've had it with you.
Oh, and one last thing to think about.
Ladies, while we're here fighting each other,
we are, once again, forgetting that we have a common enemy.
Who must be delighted right now watching our attempts to one-up each other
with our social feminism.
Now I would say, "See you in the comment section."
But… [laughs]
No, because I'm free like the genie from the lamp now. Ciao!
-[TV playing] -[cell phone ringing]
I wondered how long it would take you to call.
[Cynthia] You crazy bitch, what'd you do?
Girl, I'm vibing right now.
You have a son, you idiot. What are you gonna live on?
No idea. but it feels good.
They're off on everything.
Drink up. We're celebrating my divorce.
But why are they telling that guy to get inspired by me?
The character's a complete ass. [scoffs]
Well, maybe that's how the writers see you.
Luis, they're ridiculing me, okay?
What is our true nature?
Is it how we come across,
or the way we see ourselves? Hmm?
[Raúl] Well, I see you as a limp dick
who's about to pay alimony to your ex-wife while she's still living in your house.
Esther didn't keep the house.
-[Raúl] Then why are you here? -Well--
Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to our future. [exhales]
-What are you talking about? -[Luis] I'm not a limp dick!
Luis, come, come, come here.
Let's see. There it is.
Welcome to our commune for male chauvinists, free of women.
Four individual sustainable houses designed by me, of course. [chuckles]
With an overflow pool here, padel court, barbecue.
Where's that at?
It doesn't exist yet, but it's a blueprint.
Guys, we're getting old.
We have to face reality.
These days, relationships that combine sexual attraction
and emotions are impossible.
Luckily, the four of us are a completely viable family model.
We buy a plot of land together. We each build our own houses.
And we live together until our dying breath.
I think it's a dope plan.
-Yes! -[Pedro] Doesn't sound bad.
Sure, I like it too, but…
[scoffs] …I don't have money.
Well, just scrounge it from wherever you can.
Aren't your parents about to die?
No, and back here on planet Earth, I have a house to take back.
Don't worry. He'll come around.
-[Pedro] Hey, hey, uh, Santi. -Yeah?
I thought you were deconstructed.
Deconstructed and disillusioned. It's compatible.
-I really like the plan. -Huh.
Kind of weird I didn't think of it myself.
[Pedro chuckles]
You didn't put cheese in it.
[Esther] French omelets don't have cheese.
Dad always adds cheese.
But Dad's not home. Mom is. And Mom doesn't put cheese in them.
-Hey, hey. What's up, family? -[Iris] Daddy!
-Hello, sweetie. Mm! -[Ulises] Dad!
-[Luis] Hey! -[Esther] What are you doing?
Uh, just coming home after a hard day of apprehending criminals.
[clears throat]
What? Ow.
-Wait. Wait. What's wrong? -You trying to confuse the kids?
-Uh-- -We're separated!
-[Luis] Then leave. -You already left.
And I'm back now.
[Iris] Daddy, will you make us an omelet with cheese?
I'd be happy to, honey.
[groans]
-[panting] -Let's go to the bedroom, okay?
-Yeah, more comfortable. Sure. [groans] -Come.
-[both panting] -[doorbell buzzes]
That son of a bitch moved back home.
Esther, Esther, Esther, Esther! I'm on a date with napkin guy.
Should've done your job better. Hello!
[Juan Carlos] Hey.
[sighs, clicks tongue]
[classical music playing] tter. Hello!